75) Something That Will Light Those Ears

Contrary to popular (i.e. Mal's) opinion, Jayne weren't bái mù. He could see several things straight off.

Number one, Jack had a crush (or some other weird, fixed interest) on Rick.

Number two, Mal and Carolyn were all sweet and sappy on each other and thought nobody had noticed (leastways that was how they acted). More fools they.

Number three, Rick (Holy God that was Richard B Riddick) and River (crazy killer woman) were completely stuck on each other.

Number four, Jack did not care for that (not even one little bit), and she'd gone an' done something that had pissed Rick off so bad that for a couple weeks he was barely speakin' to her. Funny thing were that River weren't mad. Jayne guessed Rick was mad enough for the both of 'em.

Nobody would say exactly what Jack had done. Carolyn just pressed her lips together and when Jayne looked at Mal all the Cap'n said was, "She done somethin' pretty damn unkind an' she's payin' for it. An' that's all I'm sayin' on the topic Jayne." He didn't say 'Jayne go play with your rain stick' but he might as well have.

Rick was acting like River should be pissed at him an' he was shocked an' amazed (an' gorram grateful) that she wasn't. An' except for some of River's clothes he'd pretty much moved her into his bunk. Not that River seemed to mind. The clothes in the passenger dorm seemed more to keep Simon from squawking than anything else.

Jayne could easily lose count of the weeks in the Black if he wasn't working to keep track of the calendar for some reason. But he figured all of that had been going on for a good month at least. If not a week or two more. (An' that were pretty gorram likely given the way Mal had River chart a course. Wash had nothin' on River's twisty routes, not that Jayne'd ever say so to Zoë.) Mal and Carolyn, making an effort to treat Jack all normal. Simon and Kaylee actin' like they had no clue what was goin' on so they were treatin' her the same. (Like Simon was really that obb-live-ee-us when it involved his mèi mei.) River's walkin' around like nothin' had ever happened, like Jack hadn't done anything. An' doin' a better job of it than the rest of 'em. An' Rick…well he wouldn't snub the girl. Wouldn't ignore her if she needed help. An' he unbent some 'bout talkin' to Jack after the first couple weeks. But he made it pretty plain that Jack was on probation with him, and heaven (and Shepherd Book) help her if she crossed whatever line she'd crossed again.

Jayne, Zoë an' Bea were the only ones weren't actin' like everythin' were fine when it weren't. Mostly 'cause that was just Zoë, Jayne didn't have a tiān shā de clue an' he guessed Bea didn't give a damn 'bout anything but her Resistance.

Jayne figured that if he didn't find a way to work off some of his excess energy he might get bored (an' stupid) enough to ask Rick to spar again. The first time were the last time as far as Jayne was concerned; that he was starting to wonder if he could take the huge man was a sure indicator that boredom was rotting his brain.

In an effort to have something halfway normal (or as normal as life got on Serenity) to do, Jayne asked River to check the pawnshops on Persephone for weights and other equipment. Rick had chipped in some cash and all he wanted was to use the equipment now and then. Jayne had gone out to get everything. He'd had a list of errands and in order to keep the stuff he picked up from getting snatched off the mule he'd gotten Jack and Bea to ride along.

"What's all this for," Bea didn't seem to understand how boring the Black could get for weeks at a time. He guessed she was too busy trying to figure out how to get Mal to fall in line with her plans.

"Kaylee an' River fixed up a weight bench, got some free weights," Jayne explained as he maneuvered the mule. "But I like a barbell and rack, you can add more to it, increase the load, get a good workout liftin'." He handed Bea one of his guns, "Stay here an' don't let anyone steal the mule or walk off with the stuff in the backseat."

She'd looked a little irritated, but she'd taken the gun and he'd grabbed Jack, "C'mon Jackie girl, we're gonna get a good deal here." He knew this shop; they kept the letter of the law, but they didn't jack up the prices too much either. "Keep an eye out for anything useful," He told Jack. "River got him to hold the stuff we want for us, but you never know what else we can find."

The speed bag had been an unexpected bargain, and the big sandbag they'd found would need filling with sand, but they were headed to Dyton anyway and sand was free there. He'd seen some baby toys and a couple of board games that had most of their pieces and snagged those too. Mal would usually pay him back for stuff the whole crew would use.

A stop at the market, picking up rice, dried noodles and a few other staples, and then the guns and ammo store for some other necessities. Parts for Kaylee, which he flat out told the guy at the counter if she didn't approve 'em would be comin' right back, and he'd follow 'em with a fist full of knuckles in the man's teeth. Funny, seemed how the box of parts had gotten 'mixed up' an' had to be switched out before they left with what they came for.

But they made it back to Serenity in one piece and Jack seemed a little more relaxed. He guessed it helped to be around somebody didn't know what she did and didn't have anything against her. Jack probably felt like the whole crew was mad at her at this point. Though Zoë didn't seem to be much mad (not that anyone could tell if she were or weren't she's so stone-faced these days) and Kaylee an' Simon were actin' like they had tunnel vision fixed on each other and were half blind to boot. (Jayne'd caught himself wonderin' when the 'honeymoon' stage was s'posed to end. Rick an' River didn't act like that an' neither did the Cap'n an' Carolyn an' they all had more cause really.) Bea seemed to not notice but she could be pretty single minded. And pretty sneaky too. He hadn't caught her on the mid-deck yet but that didn't mean she hadn't been there, snooping.

He got busy setting up the equipment in a place where it could be easily moved if they had bulky cargo (like cows) which they were gonna be getting pretty soon. (Or so Mal said, which Jayne liked to add a cup a salt to whatever Mal said, except Zoë had done the deal so Jayne guessed it were solid.) Bea had disappeared into her dorm or somewhere, hopefully where she wouldn't aggravate Mal. And Zoë had corralled Jack for more lessons.

He saw out of the corner of his eye, Rick and River, up on the catwalk, just watchin' quiet-like. Rick'd done that come up behind River thing, hands on the railing beside each of hers so he kinda surrounded the tiny crazy woman as they watched. Them two sure didn't act like they were sparkin', 'cept times like this when no one's payin' 'em any attention really. Jayne had his doubts that Rick an' River would ever let themselves get caught nekkid in the engine room like Kaylee an' Simon. An' he'd wanted to wash his eyes out with bleach after that little fee-ass-ko (another Simon word that meant embarassin' mess, near as Jayne could tell).

Zoë was trying to teach Jack how to grab somebody as they punched for you. It was a good trick, especially if you were smaller, grab their sleeve or wrist, pull them farther than they wanted to go and pull their wrist up between their shoulder blades. They'd break it trying to get away if you could hold 'em hard enough. Jayne'd had a coupla fellas try it on him, but it'd only work when he was so fallin' down drunk they coulda tipped him over like a cow on Saturday night. He wasn't the fastest or strongest, but he was fast an' strong enough to get out of that kinda hold. Leastways when he didn't wanna be in it.

Jack wasn't quite getting it though. She might not. That sorta move wasn't easy, even if Zoë made it look like it was.

Rick was shaking his head as he came down the steps, River following him with a little smile on her face. Zoë stood back as the huge man approached them, "You've got the angle wrong." He told Jack in a matter of fact voice. "You're trying to pull her forward. Pull her down." He nodded to Zoë, "Try it again."

Jayne watched as Jack tried to follow Rick's instructions, still not quite getting it but she was doing better. Rick shook his head, "You're still trying to pull her forward." He looked at River, "You up for demonstrating?"

"If he will be the victim," River smirked at the big man and Jayne nearly chuckled but then they'd go an' remember he was there, and they might stop. This was as close to live entertainment as they got on Serenity.

"Sure," Rick shrugged and looked at Jack. "This move actually works better the smaller you are. Because your opponent is already angling down to hit you. Couple of variations on it, which were you trying to teach her?" He glanced at Zoë.

"We were practicing the wrist between the shoulder blades move, figured to move onto the foot on the spine, wrist in hand afterwards maybe," Zoë leaned against a handy crate to watch. "Jack, pay attention to this. Rick, you an' River, go through it slow first all right?"

Rick nodded and River grinned, "He must try to punch the girl in slow motion."

"Hell, every time I try to hit you feels like slow motion anyway," He retorted with a grin and began to swing.

Jayne didn't envy the man, it weren't easy to hold a halfway through the air position long enough for River to demonstrate the proper hold and angle. But between River an' Rick they managed it. Did it more'n once too. An' by the time they'd gone through it a third time Jack kinda got it.

"Need to drop a bit with your knees," River told the younger girl seriously. "Tall enough that you must lower your center of gravity slightly in order to take advantage of Zoë's moment of instability." Rick nodded as he and River moved off towards the crates, taking a seat to observe as Zoë moved forward and the two of them began the practice again.

Jayne chuckled as he finished with the barbell stand and came over to watch, "She's too tall to use that move on Zoë." He commented and River nodded her agreement.

"Martial arts, defense, it's all about balance," She murmured.

"Well, if she don't get it in the next couple tries, we could have her try it on me I guess," Jayne surprised himself by offering. He hoped it wouldn't be needful, but he'd do it. "We oughta look around for some practice mats, keep from gettin' deck platin' bruised onto our faces."

"And other body parts," Rick chuckled, that low evil sound that never failed to send a chill down Jayne's spine. Even if Mal did say the man was on their side. Seemed to Jayne that Rick was on his own side, River with him an' the rest of them just sorta happened to be there. But the man had put himself in harms way to get Zoë back so it could be Mal was right. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Even blind squirrels found nuts every blue moon.


He didn't do a shift on the bridge like the four people who knew how to fly the boat (or Zoë who was learnin' some an' so kept odd hours on the bridge). But Jayne couldn't quite kick the habit of doin' a quiet walk 'round the ship durin' the midnight hour. He'd begun doin' it after Early had invaded the boat, mostly so that Kaylee'd feel safe. He'd check in on her in the engine room, make sure she was okay, an' let her know he was gonna check the rest of the ship. Might've been for nothin', but Kaylee had seemed to feel better. She'd gotten some less jumpy.

Hell, he'd gotten up in the middle of the night at his Ma's place too, checkin' on ev'rythin', making sure all the stock were where they're supposed to be. He'd done it on Bea's ship too. More'n once a night sometimes, mostly because he didn't know anyone on the boat and how was he supposed to trust that they knew what they were doing? He already knew the pilot weren't no great shakes. Wash'd never made him feel like dice in a cup goin' in an' out of atmo.

Thumps again from the cargo bay. Well at least this time he knew what they were. Going down the back stairs that came out near the infirmary he looked out into the bay and sure enough, there's River an' Rick. He wondered if Jack had ever seen those two sparring.

A quick walk down the hall to Jack's ladder and he climbed up it, slid the door open and reached in to tap her foot. No way was he going into her room. That was just creepy.

It took a minute, but she woke up and the little light beside the bed clicked on, "Jayne?" She shook her head, "Somethin' wrong?"

"Got somethin' you oughta see," He began to go back down the ladder. "C'mon to the lounge, quiet-like." She muttered something he couldn't quite hear but she was getting up at least.

A few minutes later she was barefoot with a sweater pulled on over her teeshirt and sleep pants, rubbing her eyes. She was cute, her hair all mussed, it was growin' out more and curling around her ears, little toes barely visible under the baggy sleep pants cuffs, "What's the big deal?" She kept her voice down at least though he could tell she was annoyed. His sisters got that tone to their voice too, when they were young an' still livin' with him an' Ma.

"Little bird mentioned you wanted Rick to teach you to fight," Jayne tilted his head questioningly and Jack nodded, though she didn't seem happy about the question. "Yeah," He jerked his chin towards the cargo bay. "Figured maybe you oughta see why that's a bad idea."

He was pretty sure River knew they were there. And from what he'd seen of Rick, the man was always aware when someone was watching. But neither of them stopped what they were doing. If anything, they seemed to go at each other faster and harder.

Jack stiffened beside him, staring and he'd've bet his share of the next job that she'd never seen anythin' like River an' Rick sparrin'. Hell, he'd never seen anythin' like it an' he had at least twenty years (probably, actually more than probably, more) on Jack, plus he'd sailed with River for near a year before Miranda.

He had to admit, it were amazin'. Intimidatin' as hell but gorram amazin' to see. He'd never a thought there'd be anyone could take on River Tam, crazy killer woman, an' hold their own but Rick managed it.

"Zài dì yù de dì qī gè guā yuē jī zhōng shì shén me," Jack muttered and he looked down at her. "How's she keep up with him?"

Huh; he guessed Jack'd seen Rick in action more than she'd ever seen River fight. "An' I'm curious 'bout how'n the hell he keeps up with her." The two people in question were likely just ignorin' 'em now. An' he was completely fine with that. They didn't show any sign a stoppin' neither. "C'mon Jack, you oughta get back to bed."

She let herself be steered towards her bunk and Jayne watched to be sure she made it up the ladder all right. "Night."

"Night," He nodded as she slid the door shut and the light went off. He'd just do a quick pass through the rest of the ship before he went back to his bunk and bed. With those two in the bay there was no way anyone would be sneakin' around unnoticed on this boat.


Author's Note: So Jayne's not completely self absorbed and he's noticing quite a bit. More than Mal would usually give him credit for. But it's not a bad thing really.

Chinese Translations:

bái mù (stupid / Lit. white-eyed, blind / not understanding the situation and reacting in a wrong way as a result)

mèi mei (little sister)

tiān shā de (Goddam! / goddamn / wretched)

Zài dì yù de dì qī gè guā yuē jī zhōng shì shén me (What in the seventh sphincter of hell)