Eddie Diaz leaned against the firetruck, his arms crossed as he gazed out at the bustling streets of Los Angeles. The sun was just beginning to set, casting an orange glow across the skyline. The day had been long—too long, with back-to-back calls—but this moment of quiet was welcome. He wasn't in a hurry to go home, though, because his mind was elsewhere, lost in thoughts of the past and how much his life had changed.
The lyrics from Taylor Swift's "the last great american dynasty" floated through his mind: "There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen..." It made him think of Ana, of Shannon, and of the tangled, complicated relationships he had shared with them both. They had each brought something different into his life, leaving their marks on his heart in ways that he was still processing.
"Eddie?" A familiar voice pulled him from his thoughts. Buck, his best friend and fellow firefighter, was standing a few feet away, his eyebrows raised in concern. "You okay, man? You've been staring off into space for a while now."
Eddie blinked, straightening up and offering a small smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just... thinking."
Buck walked over, leaning against the truck beside him. "About what?"
Eddie hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should dive into the complicated thoughts swirling in his head. But Buck had been through everything with him—he'd understand.
"I've been thinking about Ana," Eddie finally said, his voice low. "And Shannon. And how everything got so... messed up."
Buck frowned, crossing his arms. "Messed up how?"
Eddie sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "You know, I thought I had it all figured out with Ana. I thought she was the one I was supposed to be with after Shannon. But it never felt... right. Like I was trying to force something that wasn't there."
Buck nodded, listening carefully. "Yeah, I get that. Sometimes it's hard to know if you're doing the right thing or just trying to fill a void."
Eddie glanced over at him, appreciating the understanding in his friend's voice. "Exactly. And then, with Shannon... we had so much history, so many ups and downs, but I always thought we'd find our way back to each other. Until she was gone."
Buck was silent for a moment, his expression softening. "Shannon's death hit you hard, Eddie. No one's expecting you to just move on from that."
"I know," Eddie replied, his voice quiet. "But sometimes I wonder if I was too focused on the idea of what I thought my life should be. Like I was so stuck in the past, I couldn't see what was right in front of me."
Buck tilted his head, his curiosity piqued. "And what's right in front of you now?"
Eddie shrugged, his mind wandering. "I don't know. I've been so busy taking care of Christopher, trying to be the best dad I can be, that I haven't really thought about it."
Buck chuckled, nudging Eddie's shoulder playfully. "Sounds to me like you're overthinking it. Maybe you just need to let things happen."
Eddie rolled his eyes, though a smile tugged at his lips. "That's easy for you to say."
"Hey, I'm serious!" Buck said, grinning. "Life has a way of surprising you when you least expect it. You're one of the best guys I know, Eddie. Trust me—when the right person comes along, you'll know."
Eddie looked at Buck, feeling a warmth spread through his chest. Buck always had a way of making him feel grounded, like everything would be okay even when it felt like his world was spinning out of control.
"Thanks, man," Eddie said sincerely. "I appreciate that."
Buck smiled, clapping him on the back. "Anytime."
Later that evening, after shift, Eddie found himself back home, sitting on the couch while Christopher worked on his homework at the kitchen table. The house was quiet, save for the faint sounds of Christopher scribbling away and the occasional clink of his pencil.
Eddie watched his son for a moment, feeling a swell of pride. Despite everything that had happened, despite the ups and downs of his relationships, Christopher was his constant. The one person who made everything worthwhile.
"Hey, Dad?" Christopher called out, not looking up from his work.
"Yeah, buddy?" Eddie replied, leaning forward.
Christopher paused, biting his lip before speaking. "Do you think you'll get married again?"
Eddie blinked, caught off guard by the question. "Uh... I don't know. Why do you ask?"
Christopher finally looked up, his expression thoughtful. "I don't know. I guess... it just seems like you should be with someone. You're always taking care of me, but I want someone to take care of you too."
Eddie's heart clenched at his son's words. Leave it to Christopher to hit him right where it hurt—in the best way. He smiled softly, shaking his head.
"I appreciate that, Chris," Eddie said, walking over to sit beside him. "But I'm okay. Right now, I'm focused on being the best dad I can be for you."
Christopher smiled, but there was still a glimmer of curiosity in his eyes. "Yeah, but... don't you want to be happy too?"
Eddie sighed, glancing at his son's homework before meeting his gaze again. "I am happy, buddy. But I get what you're saying. And maybe... maybe one day, when the time is right, I'll meet someone."
Christopher grinned, his face lighting up. "Cool. I think you should."
Eddie laughed, ruffling his son's hair. "Thanks, Chris. I'll keep that in mind."
As Christopher turned back to his homework, Eddie leaned back on the couch, thinking about his son's words. Maybe Christopher was right. Maybe it was time for Eddie to stop holding onto the past and start thinking about the future.
A few weeks later, Eddie found himself at a local café, grabbing coffee after dropping Christopher off at school. As he waited in line, his mind drifted back to his conversation with Buck and Christopher. He wasn't actively looking for love, but the idea of finding someone who made him feel whole again didn't seem so impossible anymore.
As he reached the counter, he ordered his usual and waited, glancing around the cozy café. It was busy, filled with people reading, working on laptops, and chatting over coffee. The atmosphere was warm and inviting, a nice escape from the chaos of his usual day.
"Eddie?" A voice called out, and he turned to see Maddie Buckley, Buck's sister, standing near the counter, smiling brightly.
"Maddie, hey!" Eddie said, surprised but happy to see her. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm meeting some friends," Maddie replied, holding up her coffee cup. "It's good to see you. How've you been?"
Eddie shrugged, offering a small smile. "I've been good. Just... you know, the usual. Work, Christopher, trying to balance everything."
Maddie chuckled, nodding in understanding. "That sounds like life as a parent. How's Chris doing?"
"He's great," Eddie said, his voice filled with pride. "He's growing up so fast. I can hardly keep up."
Maddie smiled, then glanced around the café. "Well, it's good to see you out and about. You should join us sometime, you know? Get out of the firehouse, do something fun."
Eddie raised an eyebrow. "Fun? What's that?"
Maddie laughed, shaking her head. "I'm serious. You deserve a break, Eddie. Let me know when you're free, and we'll make it happen."
Eddie hesitated for a moment, but Maddie's infectious energy made it hard to say no. "Yeah, maybe I will."
"Good," Maddie said, flashing him a bright smile. "Take care, Eddie. And say hi to Buck for me."
"Will do," Eddie replied, watching as she walked away.
As he picked up his coffee and headed out of the café, Eddie felt a sense of lightness that he hadn't felt in a long time. Maybe Maddie was right. Maybe he did need to let himself have a little fun, to stop overthinking everything and just... live.
That evening, as Eddie sat on the porch with Buck, enjoying the quiet after a long day, he couldn't help but smile to himself.
"What's that look for?" Buck asked, nudging him with his elbow.
Eddie shrugged, taking a sip of his beer. "I ran into Maddie today."
"Oh yeah? What'd she say?" Buck asked, his curiosity piqued.
"She told me I need to get out more," Eddie replied with a grin.
Buck laughed, shaking his head. "She's not wrong. You've been cooped up too long, man. You deserve a life outside of work and being a dad."
Eddie nodded, feeling the truth of Buck's words settle in. "Yeah, maybe I do."
Buck raised his beer in a mock toast. "Here's to you finding that life, Diaz. And here's to you finally letting yourself be happy."
Eddie clinked his bottle against Buck's, feeling a sense of hope bloom in his chest. Maybe it was time. Time to stop letting the past define him, time to stop carrying the weight of what could've been.
As the night wore on and the stars twinkled above, Eddie thought about the lyrics that had been playing in his mind for weeks: "There goes the most shameless man this town has ever seen, he had it coming..."
But maybe, just maybe, he didn't have to be defined by his mistakes or the ghosts of his past. Maybe it was time for a new chapter, one where he finally let himself be happy.
And maybe, just maybe, he was ready for it.
