Devi Vishwakumar sat at her desk, staring out the window as the summer sun streamed into her bedroom. It was one of those lazy August afternoons, and despite her best efforts, her mind kept drifting back to the memories she had been trying so hard to forget. The laughter, the stolen moments, the excitement of something that had once seemed so perfect, but had slipped away from her fingers before she even realized it.
The lyrics from Taylor Swift's "august" played in her head: "August slipped away into a moment in time, 'cause it was never mine..." They hit a little too close to home, reminding her of the whirlwind romance she had experienced just a few months ago. It wasn't the kind of thing she wanted to dwell on—especially not when her life was as messy and complicated as ever—but it was hard to shake the bittersweet feeling that had settled in her chest.
Just then, her phone buzzed with a text from Ben Gross:
Ben: Hey, Devi. Are you still up for studying later?
Devi sighed, knowing that she couldn't let her emotions get the best of her right now. She had promised Ben that they would study for their upcoming math test, and she wasn't about to back out.
Devi: Yeah, I'll be there. See you in 30?
She tossed her phone onto the bed and stood up, glancing at herself in the mirror. She couldn't help but smile a little as she thought about Ben. Things between them had always been complicated—frenemies, rivals, and now... something more. But even with everything that had happened, she couldn't deny that she liked spending time with him.
Grabbing her backpack, Devi headed downstairs and out the door, trying to push away the thoughts of the past and focus on the present.
When Devi arrived at Ben's house, she was greeted by his usual smirk as he opened the door.
"Took you long enough," Ben teased, stepping aside to let her in. "I was starting to think you bailed on me."
Devi rolled her eyes, shoving him playfully as she walked past him into the living room. "Please, Gross. You think I'd miss out on the chance to show you up in math?"
Ben chuckled, following her to the coffee table where their textbooks were already laid out. "We'll see about that."
As they sat down and started going over their notes, Devi found herself relaxing a little. Ben always had a way of making her forget about everything else—her insecurities, her regrets, the tangled mess that was her love life. It was easy to get lost in their banter, to pretend like everything was fine.
But as they worked through a particularly tough problem, Devi's mind wandered back to Paxton Hall-Yoshida. The boy who had captured her heart last summer, the one who had been so out of her league that it almost felt like a dream. They had shared something—at least, she thought they had—but it hadn't lasted. August had slipped away, just like the song said.
"Earth to Devi," Ben's voice cut through her thoughts, snapping her back to the present.
"Huh? Sorry," Devi muttered, realizing that she had been staring at her notebook without actually reading it.
Ben raised an eyebrow, looking at her with a mix of curiosity and concern. "You okay? You seem... distracted."
Devi sighed, leaning back against the couch and running a hand through her hair. "I don't know. It's just... Do you ever think about, like, things that almost happened but didn't? Like, you had this idea in your head of how something would go, but it ended up being totally different?"
Ben looked at her for a moment, his expression thoughtful. "Yeah, I get that. Life never really goes the way you expect, does it?"
Devi let out a small laugh, though there was no real humor in it. "Tell me about it."
Ben hesitated, glancing at her as if he was about to say something important. "Is this about Paxton?"
Devi froze, her heart skipping a beat at the mention of his name. She had tried so hard not to think about Paxton, to pretend like it didn't matter anymore. But here she was, sitting with Ben, and somehow the conversation had circled back to him.
"It's... complicated," Devi said finally, her voice barely above a whisper.
Ben nodded, his expression softening. "I know. But if it helps, I've been there too. With Shira. We were together, but it always felt like something was off, you know? Like I was holding onto this idea of what it should be, but it never really fit."
Devi looked at him, surprised by his honesty. She hadn't expected him to open up like that, but it was comforting to know that she wasn't the only one who felt this way.
"Yeah," Devi said quietly. "That's exactly how it felt. Like I was trying to hold onto something that wasn't really mine."
They sat in silence for a moment, the weight of their shared experiences hanging between them. It was strange how much they had in common, how they both knew what it was like to chase something that slipped away before they could really grasp it.
Ben leaned forward, his voice gentle. "Look, Devi, I know things have been weird between us, but... you're not alone. We've both been through stuff, and I get it."
Devi smiled at him, her heart feeling a little lighter. "Thanks, Ben. I needed that."
After their study session, Devi walked home, her mind buzzing with everything they had talked about. It was weird—she had always seen Ben as her rival, the person who challenged her every step of the way. But lately, things had started to shift. He wasn't just the annoying guy she competed with in school; he was becoming someone she could talk to, someone who understood her in ways she hadn't expected.
As she rounded the corner to her house, her phone buzzed with a text. It was from Paxton:
Paxton: Hey, Devi. Been thinking about you. Want to hang out sometime?
Devi stopped in her tracks, staring at the message. Her heart raced as a flood of emotions washed over her. Paxton had always been the guy she wanted, the one who made her feel special. But now, standing here with her phone in hand, she wasn't sure what she wanted anymore.
She thought about Ben, about how easy it had been to talk to him today, how he had made her feel like she wasn't alone. And then she thought about Paxton—about how much she had wanted him, but how fleeting that connection had been.
Devi sighed, her fingers hovering over the keyboard as she tried to decide what to say. The lyrics from "august" echoed in her mind again: "Wanting was enough, for me it was enough..." Maybe wanting Paxton had been enough for a time, but now... now she wasn't so sure.
Taking a deep breath, Devi typed out a response:
Devi: Hey, Paxton. I think I need some time to figure things out. But thanks for reaching out.
She hit send, her heart pounding as she slipped her phone back into her pocket. It wasn't easy, but it felt right. For the first time in a long time, Devi felt like she was making a decision for herself—not for Paxton, not for Ben, but for her.
That evening, as Devi sat on her bed, she reflected on everything that had happened over the past few months. The highs, the lows, the moments that had left her breathless and the ones that had broken her heart. It had all been part of her journey, and even though it hadn't turned out the way she had imagined, she was okay with that.
Because she was learning—learning that she didn't need to chase after something that wasn't hers. Learning that it was okay to let go, to move on, to make space for the things that truly mattered.
And maybe, just maybe, she was starting to see that there was more to her story than she had ever realized.
