"Hey…"
Ryan's voice had been the soothing his soul needed since waking back up in a private room some four stories up and miles away from their latest case.
Few details had made it past the doctors and nurses so far, enough to let him know the bare bones but leaving out details he craved to hear.
"Hey…", he replied, managing a faint smile as he watched his best friend sit down in the uncomfortable plastic chair by his bed, "It's the middle of the night. You should be home with Jenny."
"I had to make sure you come out of surgery alright. Doctor said that was a close one. I'm glad Danny…missed all the important parts. A few weeks in a sling and you should be good as new again."
"You gonna practice your Thai massage and get me out of it in a week?", he countered jokingly, glad to see a smile return to Kevin's weary features.
"We'll see about that."
Leaning forward in the chair, the young detective retrieved a cell from his coat pocket, his expression a mixture of guilt and trepidation.
"I held onto your phone while they were working on you. Allison called a few times."
His eyes widened at the sheer mentioning of that name and Esposito accepted the small device with a frown.
"She heard about this already?"
"She saw a news report on the…on Danny being dead.", Kevin corrected and shrugged, "She started calling your phone and when you didn't answer, she freaked and kept calling and texting. So I…answered it."
Drawing in a deep breath, Esposito let his head sink back into the pillow, the numb throbbing from his shoulder a welcome distraction at the moment.
"You talked to her?"
"I didn't want her to worry. I told her that you'd been hurt but that you'd be alright. She ehm…she had a show tonight and was ready to cancel unless she'd hear from you."
He stared at the white ceiling for a long time, torn between the bloody end to their case, and the surprising twists and turns his love life had taken over the past few months.
And amidst it all was his partner sharing a secret that under the wrong circumstances could get him into a lot of trouble.
As if to read his mind, Kevin cleared his throat uncomfortably, his eyes tracing the floor tiles in obvious distress.
"So you two are…how are you going to make this work? Her travelling, you here…"
"I don't know, bro, I just don't know."
After an agonizing moment of silence, Kevin leaned back again, a wily smile on his face.
"You know, you could have done the Kevin Costner thing and become her bodyguard. It would have been perfect. You'd get paid a ton more than what they throw at us here and you'd be with her all the time."
Of course, he'd considered that. Just being close to her would be well worth the hassle of a difficult job that would move him all over the states and beyond. But there'd been other factors involved in this decision, personal ones that had turned an easy decision into heartbreaking doubt.
"Who needs all that money anyway? Besides, you're forgetting that I would have had to quit my job here. Ain't no way that was going to happen."
"Even with all the fame? The traveling?"
Mixed among Kevin's earnest words was a degree of relief, as though he knew how close he'd come to lose his partner to the attractive young singer.
"I didn't become a cop so I could sit in some tour bus or push groupies around.", Esposito scoffed in return, "The world is a dangerous place. Just look at what happened here. I took on the job so I could protect the people in this town from greater evil than teenagers wanting autographs. Besides, somebody needs to cover your back. And Beckett. And even Castle. But especially you. Can't even walk a crime scene without getting thumped upside the head. Speaking off which…how's it feeling?"
"It's fine. I am using the headache as a stern reminder to do a better job looking around next time."
"There was nothing you could have done to prepare for that guy, bro." he countered with a firm headshake, "He was good. Almost got me too. And I am way better at this than you are."
Kevin's genial smile lit up the room once more as their banter continued and Esposito couldn't be happier about that. Seeing the angst and tension leaving his best friend's body after what felt like weeks of heavy investigations had been well worth all the trouble.
When the laughter died down, Kevin leaned forward again, close enough that nobody could hear them talk, then reached for his arm.
"Javier, about Allison…if you feel like she's the right one, I don't want you to think that you have to-"
"I'm not going anywhere.", he countered before Kevin could finish the sentence, coming too close to the painful decision he'd made a day prior. The one that was still wearing too heavy on his heart to share with anyone else.
"Except Thursday…I am going to see my momma on Thursday for our family dinner. You should come, Kev. Bring Jenny too.", he added, steering clear of any more in-depth conversation that could blow his fragile cover.
And why not overcome all those tempting what-ifs and dreams of a different life by fixing the things that needed repair in his current life? It would start with Jenny whom he'd barely said a word to after the whole wedding talk fiasco. Not that any of it was ever her fault.
"Sure, we'd love to. Are you sure that won't be too much for you mom to handle?"
"The two of you? No…", Esposito boasted with a nervous smile, "But so help me god if Jenny brings up Allison while we're at the table."
