Elizabeth and Nathan sat for a moment, both seemingly uncertain of exactly how to proceed. She blew out a breath and decided to just go for it. "Nathan, there's no point in tiptoeing around things. I really want to say that I am so sorry for hurting you and for basically running away and cutting off almost everyone and everything about Hope Valley. I've had a year of extensive therapy to learn about the whys, but I also know it doesn't excuse my poor behavior. I hope that you can forgive me, even though I know I don't deserve it." Her heart was thudding in her chest now that it was out there.
He wasn't sure what he'd expected her to say, but he knew it wasn't this. He had to acknowledge that a part of him thought that she might be a bit like she was when she'd left town. He was so relieved and very happy to see that she'd had some real growth. He took a swallow of his water before he spoke. "Lizbeth, I deeply appreciate your apology and while I'd like to say that it's not necessary, I understand that what you need to know is that I don't take it lightly. I won't just throw away what you've said by negating it. I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago."
Elizabeth swallowed back the tears that threatened to spill over, but Nathan heard her sniffle. He immediately started looking around for, and located, a tissue box. She'd seen Rosemary placing them everywhere earlier today, so it didn't take him long to find it and hand it to her.
She laughed nervously. "This is the second time that someone's had to hand me a box of tissues today. Thanks." She wiped her face and patted her nose. "I knew that coming home was going to involve facing some difficult emotions and having potentially hard conversations."
She dared a look at him and heart heart did that little flip thing again. How did she ever walk away from this man? His eyes were warm and caring and he looked completely relaxed and open to talking about anything and everything. She'd never had any conversations with Lucas that were deep or very meaningful. And she did that for two years.
"Well, consider this potentially awkward conversation conquered." Nathan said with a smile. "Though, I get the feeling you've got a lot more that you want to say?" He asked with a small half smile.
She just stared at him. He was giving her the opening to continue to share with him. She gave him a small smile back, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "I've missed this, Nathan. More than you could ever know or imagine. How about this, you can ask me any question right now and I promise to answer and not shut you down or run away." Just then she shivered. When had it gotten so chilly?
"You're cold. Maybe we should..." he started.
"Um, yeah. Let's go inside? Jack is spending the night with the Coulters so we can speak as freely as you wish."
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Once inside, Elizabeth headed for her coffee maker and grabbed a pod of decaf. "Decaf, Nathan?" she asked. He nodded and she pulled out another.
He noticed some mugs in the dish drainer and pointed, she nodded and he grabbed them and set them by her. This is another thing she missed. They'd always worked almost in sync on any project or task that they undertook together. She'd bet anything that, if they spent any real time together, they'd be finishing one another's sentences or not even needing to respond to know what the other was thinking. She didn't know how she knew, but she did. Then it occurred to her that Nathan had likely known this back then, but she was too terrified to see or acknowledge it herself.
"Still take it black?" she asked. He nodded again and accepted the mug she offered while she waited on the second cup. She doctored her coffee and nodded towards the little sitting area off of the kitchen. It consisted of two recliners, a space heater fireplace and her writing desk, which was still in the corner. It was very cozy and one of her favorite spaces.
Nathan sat down and Elizabeth grabbed a throw blanket and joined him. They both drank from their mugs and, finally, Elizabeth spoke. "So, have you thought of a question you'd like me to answer?" She braced herself, which she knew to be a knee jerk reaction and not based on anything real.
He set his mug down on the table between them. "I was thinking about just having you tell me anything that you'd really like me to know right now, then I realized that I did have a question to start. I know that you went back to Hamilton about a year ago. When did you decide to come home again?"
It was barely discernible, but Elizabeth knew Nathan well enough to see the hint of vulnerability in his gaze. She needed to answer carefully. "First of all, there are so many layers to that answer that you would be here until this time tomorrow to hear all of it, so I'll give you the most basic one now and I can share more with you in the coming days, if you're open to that?" It was her turn to be vulnerable. She'd given him another opening to spend time together and she prayed he'd take it.
Nathan smiled. He'd definitely spend as much time with her as he could. If she wanted to talk to him until this time tomorrow, he'd not complain. But, he wasn't quite ready to reveal that much of himself just yet. "I think I could work that out."
Her heart lifted. She blew out a breath and tried to organize her thoughts on where to start and to stop with her answer. "Well, things weren't so great between Lucas and me for quite awhile and then he made the decision to run for political office. We immediately went under the public microscope, which you know that I never wanted and one reason why I left my life in Hamilton behind originally. My cloak of denial became suffocating and Jack was beginning to act out, I think because he could sense our unhappiness."
She took a sip of her coffee and continued. "I knew I had to break things off. There were a couple of other factors and I'll tell you about those another time. One, in particular, does not fall under the category of 'basic', but it did make me realize that I'd never allowed myself to fully grieve for Jack Sr, and I decided to go back to Hamilton and stay in my parent's guest house while seeking out professional help. I also finished my Master's Degree in Library Science while I was there. To answer your question about Hope Valley, Hamilton was only a means to get me to a healthier state of mind so that I could finally come back home."
"Lizbeth, I'm so glad to hear that you've been able to take that time for yourself, and for Little Jack. I mean, Jack. I'm guessing that he doesn't want anyone using that 'little' anymore, right?" Nathan asked with a smile.
She adored when he dropped the E from the beginning of her name. She was pretty sure that he didn't even realize that he did it. It was only when he was unhappy with her that he fully enunciated her name. She looked at him and realized he'd said words after saying her name and she had no clue what they were. "Um, I'm sorry, what?"
He really tried not to smile, but it was so good to have his Elizabeth back. She was so much like the woman he'd met when he and Allie first moved to Hope Valley, yet even better. More vulnerable and relaxed. "I was saying that I'm glad you've gotten to take that time for yourself and for Little Jack and that he probably doesn't want to be called 'little' anymore."
She could tell from his eyes that he was amused and knew that she was flustered. Then her darned cheeks flamed and she figured he could see that as well. "You would be correct about that. He starts kindergarten next school year and you'd think he was turning 16."
Nathan chuckled. "How well I remember those days with Allie. Now she has her learner's driving permit. She's 15 going on 40."
Elizabeth swallowed hard. "Nathan? Speaking of Allie, I'm probably going to be running into her sooner rather than later. I know that she was upset with me before I left town, and I did nothing to remedy the situation. How do you think I should approach this?"
He was so glad that she asked and didn't just plow ahead like she knew better than anyone because she worked with children. That was how she'd become before she left. He looked into Elizabeth's lake blue eyes, which were shimmering with tears again.
In a soft voice, he said "She's missed you very much. She even felt a little responsible for your leaving, though that was definitely a child like perspective. I think that, if you let me talk to her tomorrow, you should invite her over for one of your screened porch talks. She's still as headstrong as ever, but she's growing into an insightful young woman. She'll be happy to talk with you. Will you be at church tomorrow morning?"
The uncertainty was written all over her face. "I really want to but, if I'm being honest, I'm a bit terrified."
"It's a lot all at once. Well, they do stream the service live online now. You could watch and wade in a little at a time." He pulled his cell phone from his pocket, unlocked it and handed it to her. Why don't you put your number in there and I can text or call you and let you know about Allie.
She smiled at him while she grabbed his phone. She put her contact in and sent herself a text. She handed the phone back and said, "I sent myself a text, so I have your contact. You see, with what was starting to happen when Lucas ran for office, I like to know who's on the other end of phone numbers."
He chuckled. "That's fair. I don't like to answer mine unless I know, either. Well, it's getting late, and I'm sure you're beat." He stood up. "This was really great, Lizbeth, and I'm glad that you've come back home."
She stood as well, itching to give him a hug, but not at all sure it was appropriate just yet. "Thanks for that, Nathan. It's really good to be home. This time, I have no plans to ever move anywhere else."
He smiled. They started walking towards her back door. Once there, he turned. "I'll check in with you tomorrow, okay?"
"That sounds great. Goodnight, Nathan."
"'Night Lizbeth."
And, with that, he was gone. A few minutes later, she heard a dog barking and watched as he stood watching one run around his yard. When had Nathan gotten a dog? And, why had she been so stubborn as to refuse any news of home? Well, she now knew the answer to that. Her weak resolve to live that life she'd chosen would've crumbled quickly, and she couldn't have that.
With a sigh, she closed the door, locked up and headed upstairs to get ready for bed. Maybe there would be some sweet dreams of a handsome, bright blue-eyed neighbor with chiseled abs and a great smile...
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The next day brought some unseasonably cool weather. Summer wasn't quite winning the day just yet. Rosemary called early asking if Elizabeth was coming to church and that Jack had requested to go with them.
She was torn, but just found herself needing a bit more time. She planned on going into town this week and slowly visit with folks before she showed up in a crowd. Nope, she wasn't gonna do that to herself. So, she let Rosemary know that Jack could go, thanked her and said to just bring him home after. She would make something good for lunch for all of them.
She prepped an easy chicken and dumpling crock pot recipe that could be ready in time for lunch and while she was making herself breakfat, her phone dinged. It was Nathan...
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A little while earlier at the Grants...
Nathan was eating breakfast when Allie breezed in from Angela's. "Dad! Geez! What happened to Spring?" She went to the counter and made herself a cup of tea.
"It got lost somewhere overnight, apparently. You know how it is here. Didn't you bring a sweatshirt or jacket?"
"Nope. Angela loaned me this one." Pointing to the red Hope Valley High hoodie she was wearing. "I think I was suffering from some wishful Spring thinking." She reached down and ruffled their dog Scout's head as he greeted her.
Once her tea was prepared, she sat down at the kitchen island by her dad and dove right into the tough conversation. "Sooo, Mrs Thornton's back?" She asked as she grabbed a bagel and loaded a pile of cream cheese on top.
'Here we go...' Nathan thought, he looked at her with an eyebrow raised. "You already know about that?"
Allie nearly sprained her eye muscles from rolling them so hard. "Daaadddd. She's like our next door neighbor? Did her arrival take you by surprise? You're a Mountie, remember?"
"I knew. Well, I knew for sure yesterday."
She turned to him, with a 'you can't be serious' look on her face. "So, what you really mean is that you didn't want to know. Because you're too good at your job to have missed this one. Is it going to be awkward?"
It was his turn to roll his eyes at her. "No, it's not going to be awkward. If you must know, I spent a couple of hours with her last night, getting almost everything, well almost everything, out in the open. She seems much more herself, yet maybe even better." He paused to take a sip of coffee.
"She wants to know if you'd be willing to talk to her. She has some amends that she'd like to make with you." He watched the play of emotions on his daughter's face as she processed the information. He knew his girl and she was deep down pleased that Elizabeth had already asked about seeing her. For that matter, so was he. Allie had such high hopes three years ago about them becoming a family with the Thorntons. So had he. His heart, he could take care of that, but it was agonizing to watch his little girl's be broken. He felt responsible for contributing, in any way, to getting her hopes up.
"Really? She doesn't have to..."
"Allie, it's not so much about wanting to. She needs to. A person who feels as though they've done wrong and is seeking to make things right, well, they really can't forgive themselves until they say that they're sorry and ask for forgiveness. Even if that apology isn't accepted." Nathan explained.
"Okay, Dad. Thanks for telling me that, so I can make sure to let her say what she needs to."
He reached out to ruffle her hair. "Thanks, Kiddo."
She ducked her head while rolling her hazel eyes. "Dad! Really! You need to stop doing that, already! And, I'm not really a 'kiddo' anymore."
"Oh, Allie. You will always be my Kiddo."
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Elizabeth opened her messages to read Nathan's text. It read:
Allie is good. Excited to see you. Just let me know what time might be good for you and I can send her over.
N
She considered the logistics of having a private conversation with Allie while Jack was home. It wasn't likely. Then, she had an idea.
Coulters are coming for Sunday lunch after service. Jack will be here after that. He may or may not be willing to take a nap. Would about 3:30 work for you?
E
While she waited for his response, she took her coffee and scone over to her recliner and turned on the television to search for the live feed from the Hope Springs Christian Church. She figured that she could watch the early service and then have time to get cleaned up and dressed before company arrived.
She'd just located the You Tube channel for the church when her phone dinged again.
3:30 works just fine. If Jack won't nap and you need someone to occupy his time, just let me know. I have a furry friend that might be just the ticket.
N
Sounds perfect
E
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Elizabeth checked the chicken and dumplings, then put a sheet pan of green beans in the oven to roast. She had the kitchen table set when Rosemary and Jack walked in the front door.
She was puzzled when no one followed. Before she could ask, Jack ran to her and wrapped his arms around her legs. "Mama! We had so much fun! At Sunday School I made a lot of friends! I built Goldie a castle with blocks, though I like my Legos better but Uncle Lee said she'd try to eat them and choke, and..."
Elizabeth laughed and knelt down. "Whoa there, cowboy! Slow down. Take a breath. I missed you, I'm glad you had fun and I'm also glad you're home. Maybe Auntie Rosie will take you up to your room and find you some warmer clothes, then wash your hands, please."
He kissed her cheek then ran towards the stairs. Both women laughed. "He's exhausting, isn't he? So, where are Lee and Marigold? You know I have a mountain of food here."
"He's a pure delight. He's just like his father!" Rosemary replied. She turned as she started to follow Jack. "Marigold's teething, the poor dear, and Lee took her home. He was going to give her some medicine, hopefully get her to take a bottle and put her down for a nap."
Elizabeth sighed. Poor baby girl. She took away a place setting and put the booster seat back into the mudroom. Then, she made a mental note to see if she could find Jack's pack n' play and set it up in the guest room. If not, she'd buy a new one just for her goddaughter. Then maybe she could nap here.
By the time the meal was over and Jack was playing in the living room, Elizabeth had the suspicion that Rosemary may have embellished Marigold's discomfort just enough to get some time alone to find out about her heart to heart with Nathan...
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Luck was with Elizabeth this day. Her son fought the good fight against the nap, but the nap won. Too much fun had been had and he couldn't keep his eyes open. She'd managed to corral him up to his room and laid him down, putting his lights out with a story.
She turned a monitor on as she tiptoed out to the hall, and gently closed his door. She wondered, as she went down the steps, how long it would be before he discovered that monitor and unplugged it. Probably only a matter of days.
She checked the time - Allie should be here in about 20 minutes - and went to the kitchen to prepare a tray with some cookies. She also pulled out a couple of mocha hot chocolate pods and mugs. The porch talk was going to have to be a den talk this day.
In her den, she turned on the fireplace and set the cookies down. There was a light knock at her front door. 'Here goes', she thought and went to answer it.
She knew that Allie was now a teenager, but she was still stunned by the beautiful young woman standing before her. "Allie! Come in, please!" Elizabeth stepped back, uncertain how to proceed.
Allie threw her arms around Elizabeth. "Mrs Thornton! I've missed you so much!"
Elizabeth gasped, then hugged the girl close. Back when Allie had first come to town, Elizabeth had still been teaching and had taken the motherless girl under her wing. In this moment, she realized that she'd always had a mother's love for Allie, and that hadn't changed.
As they pulled back, Elizabeth had to swallow back the tears that were already welling up. She needed to be the adult here. "I've missed you, too, Allie. It's so good to see you, and thank you for coming over. Would you, uh, would you like some mocha hot chocolate? Do you still like that?"
"Oh yes! You remembered! I'd love some." Allie followed Elizabeth to the kitchen. "Is Jack asleep?" she asked, looking around.
"Thankfully, yes. With the move and everything, the boy has been on overload for days. He's growing out of those naps, but sometimes they're just necessary. I won't let him sleep too long, so if you're still around you can see him."
"I can't wait. Though, he won't remember me. I definitely remember him. My dad said that if you need him to, he'll come and get Jack to play with him and Scout." Allie accepted the mug from Elizabeth and then followed her to the den. "I really love this little room. Dad uses ours as a home office." Allie commented as they sat down.
"I love this room, too. Cookie?" Elizabeth offered. "There's shortbread and snickerdoodles."
"I love snickerdoodles, but shortbread and mocha are a great pair. Thank you."
They each took a cookie and sat for a moment, enjoying the treat.
Elizabeth blew out a breath and started. "Allie, I wanted to tell you some things, important things. I wanted to apologize to you. Those last months before we moved away? Well, I treated you poorly. I've apologized to your father as well."
Allie held her tongue, sensing there was more.
"I think you're grown up enough for me to be frank with you. I found out that I was pregnant with Jack after his father died. I was shattered at the time, but focusing on my baby was what got me through. I shied away from any true grieving because I'd convinced myself that being happy about the pregnancy was a sign that I was better. As a result, I got stuck there.
Allie, when I chose to be with Lucas, I chose safety for my heart. In truth, I had no business being in any romantic relationship at the time. I finally realized that about a year ago. I broke things off with Lucas and went back to Hamilton and finally walked through my grief instead of around it."
The teen wiped a tear from her cheek. "I'm so glad to hear that you were able to do that. I want you to know that I never held anything that happened against you. I just, well, I wanted you to be my mom so much that I thought I could do a little matchmaking. You know - like the movie Parent Trap. I'm sorry for forcing you into awkward situations like my adoption ceremony. My dad was really mad at me for changing the guest list and not telling him."
Elizabeth remembered well accusing Nathan being the one who only invited her to the ceremony even though she was in a relationship with Lucas. This wasn't long after she'd told Nathan 'I can't' when he'd told her that he was in love with her. She'd deserved it when he responded to her accusation by informing her that, originally, her name was the only one not on the list and he'd admonished Allie for it. Then she'd gone on and accused him of just being hurtful. It was a shameful and dreadful moment.
"It took me awhile, and a lot of therapy to see that I was full of pain and trying desperately to control it...and I wasn't doing a very good job of it. I wound up lashing out and hurting not only myself, but others. I think that's ultimately why I basically ran away and couldn't allow myself to look back for the longest time. So, I'd like to ask for your forgiveness for any hurt I may have caused you."
"Mrs Thornton, I told my dad earlier that I already forgave you and I'm telling you now, I forgive you. I'm just so happy that you and Jack are back home and we get to be your neighbors!"
"Thank you, Allie. It means a lot to me to hear you say that and I'm so happy, too."
They began to chat about school and Allie filled her in on some of Elizabeth's former students. It wasn't long before Elizabeth heard stirring noises on the monitor and, at the same time, there was a light knock on the front door.
Jack arrived downstairs at the same time that Elizabeth welcomed Nathan inside. Her son paused, staring at Nathan. He was blinking the sleep away when his eyes lit up. "Mountie Nathan?"
Elizabeth gasped, Nathan's eyes went wide. She never imagined he'd remember Nathan after all this time. Jack rushed over to Nathan as the man had gone down on one knee. "Mountie Jack? Is that really you? You're awfully tall to be him!" Nathan held out a fist and Jack bumped it with his.
"It's really me. I promise! I'm just growin'. Mama says it's my job right now!" Jack's eyes traveled over to Allie with extreme interest. He didn't quite recognize her as Allie was no longer a young, awkward preteen but rather a beautiful maturing young lady.
She came over and knelt down to Jack's level. "Hi, Jack. You probably don't remember me. I'm Allie. Mountie Nathan is my dad. I've known you since you were a little baby." She put out her own fist and he bumped it. He looked shy all of a sudden.
"Hi Allie. I don't know if I remember you." He said softly, but with great interest. Jack may be getting his first crush. "Do you like Legos?"
Allie opened her eyes wide. "Legos? I happen to love them! You should see my collection sometime". She made a mental note at the moment to get up into the attic and find that old box. She'd had a ridiculous number of them.
Jack gasped and looked at Elizabeth. "Can I Mom, please?!"
Elizabeth chuckled. He usually called her Mama, unless he was particularly excited, then he often dropped that last syllable. She glanced at Nathan, who nodded.
"Whenever Allie invites you to do so, Jack."
The boy jumped. "Yay! Can I show Allie my Legos?" He looked from Elizabeth to Allie, then Nathan. The adults nodded and off they went. Jack tentatively grabbed Allie's hand in the process.
With a laugh, Elizabeth said to Nathan, "I think Jack has his first crush. If Allie doesn't watch out, she won't be able to shake him."
Nathan chuckled. "Allie will love it. She's got a knack with little ones. Especially little boys. I think it's the fact that she loves things like Legos and fishing and sports. They worship her."
There was a brief, awkward silence, then Elizabeth worked up the courage and asked, "So, I made a ridiculous amount of chicken and dumplings for lunch with the Coulters, then Marigold wasn't feeling too well and Lee took her home after church. Do you and Allie already have dinner plans? You two are welcome to join us for chicken and dumplings part two."
Nathan grinned. "No dinner plans. I hate to admit that it was either going to be take out or frozen pizza. We would love it. We'll need to let Scout out at some point, but maybe Allie could take Jack with her and do it."
"That's great. And, if Allie does that, you have no idea what you're getting into. The boy has been begging for a dog ever since I told him we were coming back here. You really won't be able to shake him."
Very softly, Nathan replied, "I don't think that'll be a problem."
