Beth gave me a shaky smile as I hopped onto my bike, "Are you sure you don't want to stick around?"
"Sorry Beth, kinda of a tradition at this point." I shrugged, it wasn't a holiday I celebrated in my last life, and defo not in this one, so to make do, I visited friends, giving gifts and to be honest, keeping track of them, "But I'll be back before dinner." Beth let out a sigh as she looked like a kicked pup, giving me a weak nod.
Oh, for fuck sake…
"Do you want to come along?" I said in a flat voice not that she paid it any mind.
Her face split into a wide grin, as she rushed into the house and returned with a jacket on. Not enough time to tell the family and Jerry were she was going, but it's not like the kids would care all too much, and Rick would be busy with Ruben and the park.
A hobby of his I whole heartedly encouraged, whatever kept him busy and his mind off the murder boner he's had my entire life.
Beth slide on behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist, "So how does this thing work?" She questioned as she pressed herself further into me so she could see at what I was doing. She really was Rick's kid, the Beth's no matter how much they were beaten down in life all had that spark of intelligence and curiosity.
I placed the portal gun into a slot in-between the handle bars, not that Rick would need it today, "Like this." Sexrella purred on and her wheels turned flat as a jet stream propelled her to hover. Taking flight an over shield encompassed washed over Beth and I, protecting us from the elements and giving us a breathing system where needed be.
When we were in the upper atmosphere of Earth I peered over my shoulder to see her dazzled expression but she continued to look at me with an expectant look, "That didn't explain anything."
"Arrgh, you suck."
She let out a chuckle, showing you was just ribbing me, her gripped eased up on me as she looked out at Earth.
"Wow,"
"Yeah," I nodded in agreement, "I forget sometimes," She looked at me with what I was sure was her real expectant look, so I carried on, "how much I've experienced," I let out a scoff, "no not even half, barely a fraction of my life has been more than what most would experience. I know I can be such a downy cunt but fuck, I live a good life."
Beth didn't say anything just giving me a small nod, letting us bask in the silence.
Squanchy's place was a tip.
Empty beer cans littered everywhere, the smell of alien drugs lingering in the air, and jeeze would it kill the feline like alien to crack a window.
Seriously it smelt like the old days, days I would rather forget, but alas my friends tended to be stuck in the past.
"Squanch are you doing here, Ryder?" I rolled my eyes and sat up the high alien.
"Doing my rounds, bud."
Placing a wrapped box on his table, which contained a Earth whetstone, figuring his claws could do with some sharpening. I then injected Squanchy with a cocktail of chems I've been trying to perfect for years now, something akin to a bloody-mary slash epinephrin pump, to wash out drugs and alcohol from someone's system and fight off any fatigue.
Though instead Squanchy just fell asleep, with a pleased sigh, "What the…" I took a sniff of the remaining liquid in the flash injector only to realise Rick most likely swapped it with something that would result in the opposite result, "Your dad is a fucking arsehole."I called over my shoulder.
"Your dad too," Beth said as she was looking at a wall of photos.
Photo of the old gang.
"You were a real cutie when you were younger." I rolled my eyes as I saw what she was looking at. A photo of me and a red-skinned girl with four eyes, and four muscled arms, each set laid one above another. We were the same age there but she was easily double my size, nowadays she's only a foot and a half taller than me.
Those days where'd she'd love to tease my shorter stature was annoying.
"She's next, her and her pop." I pointed at the picture.
"Oh?" Beth asked with a teasing smile, "Special friend of yours?"
"No, just my wife," I said in a perfect monotone voice.
"What!?" Her face flushed when she realised I was messing with her in return.
With a small chuckle to my voice I explained she was, "Her dad used to run with Rick, and seeing how I was along for the ride, Gar figured he'd bring Looma along after he lost his mate." Beth let out a wince, "Yeah what you're thinking is exactly right."
"And what am I thinking?"
"That's we're meeting up with some real tragic folk full of sob stories." My eyes landed on Squanchy as he dozed off.
Looma's muscled form suddenly appeared, slamming down on the ground next to my parked bike, splintering the earth beneath her in a spider-webbed crack.
Lifting my 6'4 bulked form was nothing for her behemoth body, for anyone else I would've excepted the move of pressing my face in her taut and slender for her species breast as a form of flirting, yet for her it was simple affection.
"Ryder, my dearest," She boomed, "it's good to see you."
"Dearest, huh?"
"Ater-eh," I told Beth in a low voice.
Looma lets go of me and turns her attention to Beth, a toothy grin on her face, "Who's this? A concubine to share our bed? Quite the small morsel, we'd probably split her in two."
"She's my half-sister," I told Looma with a blank face.
"And that means?"
"Humans don't fuck our kin or kith."
Beth's face was crimson as she avoided all eye contact with the both of us.
"Odd," Was all Looma said as she shrugged her shoulders. Tetramand were a dying breed, that wasn't to say they were weak or a feeble race. You'd be hard-pressed to find a tougher race than them.
Their lust for battle and life had the ironic effect of getting the numbers to what the wide universe would call in danger of extinction.
Looma sent a bewildered gaze at me, "You are not wholly terran, Ryder. You are the last son of Scira." She said as if that was a reason to breed with the entire universe, and to be fair I pretty much do, but not to save a pretty much dead race, but because I was a hedonistic beast with a strong vice and unabashed shame about what I screwed.
Fatherhood was not in my cards. It's probably why I was so reluctant about going further with Looma. She nor her father had a problem if she produced half-breed Tetramand children, they respected strength, something they knew I had in spades.
But since she was technically Princess Loom Red Wind, if she married, the pressures of her race's dwindling number would mean she'd need a litter of children, to not only increase her race but her family's standing.
"Change the subject Looma," I told her flatly.
Thankfully the woman was a chatterbox when she was comfortable, making conversation with the both of us, easing up Beth's sudden discomfort. Beth was pretty normal after all, and raised quite ordinarily in human standards, meaning she had many inhibition blocks.
We approached the desert city, with no resistance hindering us, after all their princess was leading us, her boisterous attitude was well known, though I wasn't liking the envious looks being sent my way.
Making our way into the palace we entered the throne room to be met with a Gar sitting on his throne, his space-faring days may have been over but, and his body may have been wounded with a missing eye and arm, yet the king cut a mean figure, sitting relaxed on his throne.
"Ryder Sanchez!" He boomed and rushed forward bringing me into a strong bear hug, not unlike his daughter.
"So you are Ryder Sanchez," Another Tetramand said as he stepped forward when Gar dropped me to the ground, he cut me off when I opened my mouth, "I challenge you for the hand of Princess Looma."
"Toben piss off." Looma spat with a curse she picked up from me.
"Nephew, cease this foolishness." Gar stepped inbetween his daughter and nephew, "Ryder is my kith in all but ceremony."
The young Tetramand scoffed and stepped past his king, Gar allowed it and Looma pulled Beth aside. Ah words often failed Tetramand or they were often ignored, though to ignore the words of a king and princess was foolish no matter which race it was.
The only reason why it was probably allowed was his relation to the man himself, that's why he'd survive this.
I activated the metal straps around my wrist to turn them into a couple of dusters as they slipped down to my knuckles, I got into a boxer's stances.
"This weak-" When he got in punching distances, I crouched rolled behind his large bulky form, cutting the tendon of his right leg, before slamming the sharpened tip of my blade into the back of his left knee.
Without restraint I sent I a one-two combo to his ribs and then jaw, dislocating his maw as he fell to his knees. Grabbing the back of his head, I forced it back as he started to droop down, "She picks who she wants." I scoffed, "As if a limp dick little cunt like you could handle Looma." For further embarrassment, I slammed my fist into his nose, breaking it and knocking him out.
I then turned back to the smirking king, and I pointed at him, "That wasn't a declaration for her hand by the by."
He hummed and turned to his daughter, "You'll wear him out eventually my love."
She huffed good-naturedly, as she crossed her arms under her sizeable bust, "Believe me, father, he is not so easy to tired."
This is why they're a once-in-a-year visit.
"Hey BP." I greeted with an easy smile, as the man opened the door with a blank face.
"Ryder." He nodded, "It's good to see you, lad."
"Lad, still?" I let out with a chuckle, at least he can't ruffle my hair any more.
"Always," He said with a monotone voice and let us in.
Taking off my jacket I threw it on a sofa and motioned at Beth, "BP this is the famous Beth. Beth this is Bird Person."
"Bird Person?" She then took a glance outside as we spotted some of BP's race also lingering.
"You would not be able to pronounce my name, so to make it easy I go by Bird Person." Beth opened her mouth only to stop and shrug, taking off her jacket and placing it on top of mine she wandered around, her eyes once again going to a wall of photos.
Okay, what the hell is going on? Since when did the guys get so sentimental? No one else better be like this.
Handing BP a box I was surprised that he handed me one in return, "I believe that this is the tradition. To exchange gifts."
"Cheers BP." I said with genuine surprise, opening the hastily wrapped box, to reveal a quasi brand gun box, "Awesome." I pulled out the alien pistol, pretty simple in design, if I was remembering right it had a 10-shot capacity, but the power output could be increased at the expanse of the 'ammo capacity.'
"An overshield?"
"Capable of taking three shots of an arachnoid rapid shot rifle, before a recharge," I said off-handedly.
"Hmm. Practical and stylish."
"You know it." I raised a fist which he bumped in an almost robotic fashion.
"You were in a band!" Beth said suddenly, "With dad!" She then started to laugh as she pointed at a picture of a young me with a bass in my hands, "That's sooo… dorky."
"Ah come on Beth." My groan just got a withheld snorted laugh from her, she then turned to BP and asked him to regale her with all kinds of embarrassing tales.
Everyone else was pretty busy, so we had to cut our trip short. Alas, I'll just have to drop them a message later on.
"That was pretty fun," Beth said as Earth was in sight.
"It was?"
"Yeah, of course, learning a bit about you from your friends was nice." She then spoke in a quiet voice, "You don't really share."
My shoulder slumped as I stared forward, "I'm not built like that, Beth… But if you really need me to, and if you're willing to be patient with me," I let out a snort, "well I'll share to the point you'll be sick of me nattering on."
A wry chuckle escaped her, "That's an image, you being talkative as Jerry."
"You're sick of Jerry's rambles?"
"Yes, no… I don't know." She then sighed as she pressed her forehead into my back, "I admire that about you, you know what you want."
"Do I? Because I always act like I'm sure of myself even when I'm not."
"Well, even that would…" She trailed off as she spotted a familiar janky-looking ship fly up, suddenly Rick kicked a body out of it, and the large corpse of Ruben covered the Earth, "What the fuck?" Rick spotted us with how close he was, he then gave us a bright wave of all things.
"Oh fuck," I forgot about that, "you want to hit a bar?"
"Christmas day, getting shitfaced with my brother in a bar?"
"Getting hit on by drunk lonely folk," I added.
"Human or alien?"
I shrugged my shoulders and watched the giant corpse gently lingering in the stratosphere, "Alien." It was a clear choice.
"Let's see if I can drink you under the table, baby bro."
A/N - Published 2024/02/26
Yo, thanks for all the support shown to this story.
Sorry for the delay, as per my usual, sorry but real life sadly has to take precedence.
Also sorry for the shorter chapter, I really was hitting my head against the wall about it, was toying with the idea of getting Ryder to go into Ruben instead of Morty, but I didn't want to handicap Ryder from what I've written of him so far, and it probably would've been much shorter if he did go in as he is.
