Final Fantasy VII
Set in Stone
By Lucky_Ladybug
Notes: The characters are not mine and the story is! I was originally going to eliminate this part of the Twilight and Dawnoutline. I felt it was too trippy and weird. But when I read the blurbs over the other day, I saw how truly important this storyline is. I can't eliminate it because of the development Cloud goes through because of it. It's vital to understanding how things went from how they were in the last published chapter of the actual, unfinished Twilight and Dawn to the vast difference in the majority of its continuation, At the End of the World. So here we are. The framing story takes place right after At the End of the World, with the flashbacks taking place after the rooftop duel flashback that opens that story. And the central issue in this story revolves around someone being encased in stone. Not turned to stone, because that's a line that's too weird that I won't cross, but still magically encased within it. So just a heads-up warning if that's something uncomfortable for you! The building block of Twilight and Dawnis that Sephiroth sent everybody to Earth, but in the process, he ended up purified of Jenova and his insanity, so he is a good person again.
Tifa's feelings were so confused and mixed as she stood there, looking down at the man she had hated for so long, the man who had taken away so much from her and Cloud. He was laying quiet and still in the bed, asleep or unconscious as he slowly recovered from that final, fateful battle against Jenova. She was gone at last and would trouble them no more, and this man, once their fiercest enemy, had been their protector, their defender, leading them to victory against her.
This man was a near-stranger to Tifa. She had never known him until recently. He was not the insane megalomaniac, but a sad and tortured fallen hero . . . one who had regained his honor at last. He, who had once nearly destroyed Gaia, had now saved this other planet and all of them. He still had so much power, but now, once again it was only used for good.
Jenova had tried to prove her superiority over him, that he no longer had any strength when she was not giving him any. They had fought her twice, and while the second time had saved them, the first time had been a horrific disaster. When they had first cornered her in the crystal cave above the city, she had displayed her great and terrible powers while possessing the body of an evil sorceress. What had happened next still haunted and chilled Tifa, and from the way Sephiroth looked restless in the bed, perhaps he was remembering it too, in his dreams.
It was a horrible thing for anyone to remember.
She was great and terrible as she stood in the cave. Her eyes, sharp and cunning, took in the presence of everyone who was there in their foolish attempt to stop her. Her unpainted and pale lips smirked malevolently, most likely as she thought of the worst possible things to do to these daring yet senseless people. Her long hair was done up on her head, but her dark bluish-purple cape flew free in the breeze created from the force of the powers she was calling to her. It was over now. They had interfered with her long enough.
"Stop it!" Cloud screamed, his voice filled with righteous indignation. In his hands he tightly clutched the buster sword, his knuckles turning white. "Don't you know you're being manipulated by Jenova?" He wanted to attack, he wanted to rush forward so badly, but the barrier held them back. Only Sephiroth was on the other side of it, engaged in battle with the sorceress's summoned beasts. Once he had gone through, Jenova had blocked the others from entering as well.
She focused on the blond, her cruel smile only widening. "Puppet boy, I am Jenova," she hissed. "I am fully in control of this body. The witch is dead; all of her powers now belong to me, and I will use them in ways that she should have done herself."
Cloud gritted his teeth, lunging forward to slam his heavy weapon into the invisible, yet powerful wall. Surely he could crack it, if he tried enough times. Then it would shatter completely and he could reach her before something went drastically wrong!
Immediately the others sprang into action to assist. Tifa used a vicious kick. Yuffie threw her shurikens. Barret, Vincent, and Yazoo opened fire and Cid attacked with his spear. Red XIII and Cait Sith tried their best as well. But it was not any use. The wall still stood firm.
Jenova watched this, seeming amused. "Such foolish and simple methods. You will never win against me this way. And as a taste of my new powers . . ." She trailed off, raising her hand in Cloud's direction.
He frowned, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. What was she doing now? She must have something malicious in mind. . . .
His eyes widened in disbelief as he stared at his sword. Starting from the top, deep gray stone was snaking its way across the blade, covering it and suddenly making it ten times heavier as it hardened. And what would happen when it reached the bottom of the weapon? Would it stop, or would it continue until it was coating his hands? He dropped the blade like a hot rock, and as it crashed to the marble floor, the hilt also became encased in stone. The buster sword was useless.
Barret gave a low curse. "She just cast Petrify on Cloud's sword!"
Cloud raised his gaze to meet Jenova's. Was this an attempt to frighten him? It would not work. He would not turn back. There had to be some way to retaliate, to take her down before she could do the same thing to all of their weapons. No one could be completely invincible.
"You're not deterred?" she purred. "Of course, I would expect it from you. My show of power means nothing to you." Then she paused, a thoughtful look coming into her eyes. "Or maybe, I am going about it the wrong way," she decided, her voice quiet, certain. "Maybe, I can accomplish two things at once."
Cloud did not know what she meant, but he did know he did not like the sound of it.
Sephiroth pulled his blade out of the last creature, watching with veiled eyes as it shimmered and vanished back into its realm. Then he raised his gaze to meet the sorceress. Jenova, his "mother", was behind those sadistic eyes. She had done so much to him, to everyone, and now she was trying again. And on this planet, without the aid of the Lifestream, or Holy, what could even be done to stop her assault, if she found enough power to begin it? It would not happen. He would not let this be a repeat of what he himself had tried to do to Gaia.
"This is going to end here!" he said, looking at her with cold, outraged eyes of steel.
She turned to him, her expression showing that she had expected this very thing. "Yes, Sephiroth, it is," she replied with cold determination. "Flesh of my soul, you are no longer of any use to me. And without my powers to strengthen you, you are as weak as any of these other humans." Smirking at Cloud and his friends, she released the magic barrier before immediately turning her attention back to Sephiroth and withdrawing her own sword. She would make Cloud and the others watch this, she would make them fear her, and she would make them hate themselves for their helplessness.
Sephiroth's eyes narrowed, but he did not speak as he ran forward with the Masamune held out in front of him. She was wrong. It had been "weak humans" who had defeated her before, and it would happen again. He would overthrow her this time. He had to; he had sent everyone here and had unknowingly unleashed a new era of Jenova's terror. He had to bring it to a close.
Indeed, as Cloud and the others watched the ensuing battle, Sephiroth certainly seemed to have gotten the upper hand. The fight was fierce, with both him and Jenova utilizing all of their strength, but in the end it was Sephiroth who was cornering her, knocking the blade from her hands. All that was left was to finish the job before she could commit some other treachery. . . .
And yet he frowned, gazing down at her as she smirked up at him. She was not concerned in the least. Something was wrong. . . .
Her lips parted as she whispered one word, in an unfamiliar tongue.
The pain rushed over him, jerking him suddenly into place on the floor. What . . . what was this? A binding spell? No . . . it . . . it was something else. His body felt so weighed down. . . . And it was filling with an unexplainable cold sensation, more terrifying than anything he had thought possible. It was so strong, it felt as though it was turning his blood to ice.
Immediately he looked down at himself. His boots were . . . what was happening to him?! Had she frozen him in place with the same stone that she had used on Cloud's sword? Wait . . . it was not stopping with his boots. And the horrible revelation washed over him. He knew what she was doing. And there was nothing he could do to stop it.
The sword dropped from his hands as the material reached his back and his arms. No! He had to get out of this. He had to. He had to! He did not want to die, like this. . . . He could barely move, but he clawed frantically at the air, even though he knew it was hopeless. Did he think someone would save him, even if they could? They likely would want to leave him here to suffer. And he knew he deserved it. He knew . . .
His world darkened.
Jenova leaned back, satisfied at her handiwork. "Forever frozen in stone, here in this cave," she mused. "A testament to what happens to those who defy me. Now, Sephiroth, my revenge on you is complete." She looked over to Cloud and the others. "And none of you could do a thing, even without the barrier," she observed. "You're all frozen too, in shock. But would you have tried to help him?"
Cloud swallowed hard, his gaze still fixed on his nemesis. It had happened so fast, in a matter of seconds. . . . No one had had time to think, or to even react at all. Sephiroth had not had time to scream in agony. His expression was pained, panicked, as his dead eyes stared back at his enemy. His hands were up, caught in the act of his desperate, vain attempt to be free. He had not realized he was facing Cloud. But even so, in his last moment, he had silently screamed for someone to help him.
And Cloud felt sick, in spite of the hatred that still burned in his heart. What a horrible, cruel, abominable way to die.
Kadaj, standing near Jenova, sneered. Unlike Cloud, he did not appear bothered in the least."Sephiroth is no longer Mother's favorite," he mocked.
Jenova swept her cape with a whirl, covering herself, Kadaj, and Loz. "Come, my children," she said. "We have triumphed here today."
Yazoo, standing near Cid, took a step forward. "Wait!" he called.
But they were already gone, having teleported out to parts unknown.
Cid cursed. "I swear, Yazoo, those brothers of yours . . . !"
"They're involved in this because of me," Yazoo said darkly. "They think that woman will bring back my memories if they help her."
"If she'd ever do anything to help anybody, I'd eat my spear," Cid snarled. "Just look what she's gone and done now!"
Barret was walking over to Sephiroth, still in disbelief. He reached out, tapping the other's shoulder armor, then touching the long hair, streaming out behind their former adversary. He shook his head slowly. "He's just a statue," he muttered, still unbelieving.
Tifa bit her lip. She had hated Sephiroth so much, especially because of what he had personally done to her father. But he had been out of his mind at that time. Recently, he had fought alongside all of them, just as determined to stop Jenova as they were. He was not the monster from the past. And she had finally managed to forgive him. But though it upset and disturbed her to see him like this now, it was worse to see what it was doing to Cloud.
He still abhorred Sephiroth, loathed him, and it had been warping his soul. She was so worried for him because of that, and now, strangely, he seemed to be the most profoundly and eerily affected by Sephiroth's fate. She could tell from his stiff stance, from his clenched fists at his sides, and from the way he had never taken his eyes from the other's stone-encased form.
Worriedly she reached out, touching his shoulder gently. "Cloud . . ."
He did not move, or even acknowledge her presence.
A chill went up her spine as she walked around to face him. "It's like . . . you were frozen too," she whispered.
Cloud met her eyes, and then immediately looked away. "That could have been any of us," he muttered as he started to walk away. "Even you."
And Tifa's shoulders slumped. That was not what was actually bothering him.
Sephiroth tossed in the bed, the seven Safer wings spread out in all directions. Although he had won against Jenova at long last and saved them all, he had been badly weakened by the effort. And Tifa still suspected he might be thinking back on the same disaster she was, especially if in his unconsciousness he was working to repair the damage that last blast had done to his soul. That first battle against Jenova had ended horrifically for him, and over the next days Tifa had watched Cloud spiral further and further into a mixed-up mess of emotions, none of them good.
"Cloud, Barret's called a meeting. . . . We need to figure out what to do next."
He looked over at her from where he was polishing Fenrir. He ran the cloth harshly over the smooth surface, again and again, without actually seeming to know what he was doing. The black paint had long ago started to gleam and shine, but still Cloud worked, aimlessly.
"So, go to it," he retorted.
Tifa frowned, walking over to him. "I want you to come too," she replied. "So does everyone else."
Cloud snorted, straightening up and draping the cloth over the top of the motorcycle. "It's not like I'll be able to suggest anything that would be of help," he muttered. "And if we're going to find Jenova and fight, I don't even have my sword. It got turned into one of Jenova's garden art pieces."
"Cloud, it's been days!" Tifa gazed up at him, her worry obvious. And he recognized the look in her eyes that said she was certain she knew what the real problem was. But he did not want to hear that from her. He did not want it spoken aloud at all. He did not want to face it.
She came closer, leaning over Fenrir. "This isn't about you suggesting anything in the meeting, or what happened to your sword, or even the fact that Jenova got away. It's about Sephiroth!"
His expression immediately hardened, and he turned around to stare out at the wilderness around them. "I don't care what happened to Sephiroth!" he retorted, his voice rising. "I HATE Sephiroth! Good riddance to him!"
Undaunted, she walked past the front of the motorcycle and came to stand at Cloud's side. "I know," she answered, struggling to keep her own voice level. "I know you hate him. I know it all too well! It's tearing you up inside! It's been poisoning you for weeks, almost ever since I found you again in this world!" Tears pricked at her eyes, but she forced them back. "What happened, Cloud? Why? Why are you suddenly giving in to these feelings now, after all these years?"
Silence. "I've always hated him, ever since Nibelheim. You knew I was obsessed with beating him."
"Well, I hated him too! But I didn't let it control me, and you never did either even though you wanted to beat him! Why now?"
Finally he looked back to her, anger and fury and confusion mixing throughout his green eyes. "I don't know!" he screamed. "I don't know, alright? He was just suddenly back in my life again, and I . . . I couldn't take it." He was clenching his fists once more, trembling, wanting to get away from this questioning. He did not want to think about this or about Sephiroth at all. But he knew he always did, anyway. It was all he could think of now.
She stared up at him, firmly, into the deep blue eyes. The emotions raging there were apparent, and now she could see others as well. He was haunted, he was filled with self-loathing. Suddenly several other pieces clicked into place.
"You can't stand that you couldn't help him," she breathed.
Shock flickered for a moment. Then he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Immediately he looked away again. "No," he said, shaking his head. "No, that's not it." His voice was strained, nearly cracking. The fight had left him now, and he was weary and tired.
"It is it." She stepped closer to him, touching his shoulder softly. "Why . . . why didn't I see it before?" Now it was so obvious. She must have been blind. "You saw him desperately reaching out for something, someone, anybody who would save him from what Jenova was trying to do. And you couldn't do anything. Even if you'd gone to him, you might have only been frozen too."
She swallowed hard, watching him. He was silent now, letting her speak, and had not confirmed or denied her words. "You hate yourself for not doing anything," she mused slowly, "but also because you care in the first place. You can't understand why it bothers you so much about what happened to him. You hate him so much, and yet you wanted to be able to help him, you wanted to stop what Jenova was doing." A sad, wistful smile came over her features. "You hate yourself more than you even hate Sephiroth."
Cloud froze. Then he pulled away, walking quickly to Fenrir and swinging his leg over the side. "Nice psycho-analysis," he said in a tone that sounded half-sarcastic. "Too bad it's all false." He grabbed the cloth, shoving it into his pocket and pulling out his keys.
Tifa watched him, a sinking feeling building in her heart. "Cloud . . ." No, he was going to leave. She knew it. He was going to leave and try to sort out his feelings, and maybe he would never come back. Not again. Not again! . . .
"Sorry, Tifa. I can't stay here right now." He inserted the key into the ignition and turned it. Fenrir roared to life, and Tifa had to quickly step out of the way.
She choked back the lump growing in her throat. "What are you going to do?"
"I don't know." He started to maneuver the vehicle around her. And then he was gone, vanishing into the oncoming darkness.
Tifa could no longer hold back her tears.
Sephiroth hated the memory of those days. He still had his powers, and he'd had them then, but Jenova had surprised him with something completely new and even worse than the Petrify spells back on Gaia. For the time being, she had had the upper hand.
He had still been aware after it happened, at least enough to think, to know he was trapped, to know he couldn't move or see or hear.
And yet . . . he remembered.
The cave was the same as he remembered from earlier. The various crystals and gems glistened, light from the moon and stars making them sparkle and twinkle. It was a pleasant, serene location, or it should have been. As he advanced further inside, he could see his sword where he had dropped it. It was unchanged, of course, the overhead glow giving it a dull shine.
He had entered a different way than he had before, and coming upon his sword first meant that he would be directly facing Sephiroth. He swallowed hard. He did not know that he would be ready for that. He had not come to this cave since it had happened.
His eyes narrowed as he pressed onward. When he was standing next to his sword, he forced himself to look up. It would not be hard, to look upon his enemy. It should give him satisfaction, to see Sephiroth unable to move, to see, to live. . . .
The other's expression was still fixed in that chilling, anguished stare, his eyes looking at nothing. But it still felt like he was looking directly at Cloud, reaching out vainly, crying out for help.
Cloud glowered. "Why would I help you?" he muttered, walking until he was standing directly in front of the other. Slowly he extended his own hand, raising it up to meet Sephiroth's. He laid his palm flat against the ice-cold stone, and even that small action sent a chill throughout his body. He was not touching human flesh, warm with life. But he once would have. Now it was covered over with dead, rough stone.
"Too late," he grumbled, pulling his hand back. "I'm too late."
He lowered his body to the floor and sat down, drawing his knees to his chest. He did not know how long he would stay here now. Maybe until he could find the answers.
He would probably be there for eternity then.
Just like Sephiroth.
Cloud had stayed on, not leaving, so angry and lost and hurting. Sephiroth had sensed him there, felt him there, despite being blind and deaf. And all the while he had kept fighting to gather his powers, gather his strength, to shatter Jenova's spell on him. If she had trapped anyone else, there wouldn't have been any recourse for them. But Sephiroth, powerful to otherworldly levels, still had a chance.
Or he had hoped and prayed so, anyway.
Why had Cloud been so upset? Sephiroth still wasn't sure of the answer to that mystery. His feelings had been chewing him up from the inside-out, so strong that they had even reached Sephiroth as he had been then.
It was always so cold. So cold and filled with nothing. He could feel it against his bare chest, but even though he longed for once to be able to reach and pull his coat close around him, he knew it would not help. The chill had permeated all the way through his skin, to his blood and bones.
Sometimes he wondered if his heart was still beating. It seemed that it could not be, that it must be frozen too, but that would not be possible. Unless death was so much different than he had experienced in the past. Maybe now, now he was being punished for his heinous misdeeds. Maybe this was what Hell truly was.
At other times he thought he could still feel the gentle thump of his heart. To feel . . . that was the only sensation he had left. He was blind, he was deaf, he could not speak. He could not scream for help, not that he deserved it the first place, and not that anyone would come. And not that he would ever stoop to begging. But that did not mean that he did not still wish for assistance anyway. His attempts to gather his strength were taking far longer than he wanted. Jenova's new magic was strong.
His body often ached. He was aware that he was frozen in place, and at times he was awake enough to long more than anything to be able to move, to bring his arms down, to collapse into a soft bed. But he could do nothing.
His thoughts wandered most of the time. Just about all he was capable of was thinking, but that was not a very pleasant experience either. Over and over his treacherous acts would play before his mind's eye, until he felt that he would go mad once again. Then he would hope to be able to sink back into complete oblivion. Sometimes he would, but at other times he would remain conscious for what seemed to be hours on end.
He had to admit, he was not certain if even he was ready to face an eternity of this.
He hated remembering those days. It hadn't been so long, perhaps, but to both himself and Cloud, it had seemed an eternity.
And there had been someone else as well, someone who, unlike Cloud, had come with encouragement and comfort instead of bitterness and confusion. That was, perhaps, the only part of that Hellish experience that he could think back on without distress.
The brunet shuddered slightly as he made his way into the cave, which was brightly lit by the various crystals and gems adorning the walls, ceiling, and floor. It was a beautiful place, and should have been peaceful, but his reason for coming was not to enjoy the scenery. He could not, considering what had happened to his friend.
He gave a low whistle when he came across Cloud's sword. Unable to be lifted due to its stone covering, it remained where he had dropped it. A perfect statue—one of Jenova's "garden art pieces", as Cloud sarcastically said. But at least . . . it had never been alive. It could never feel the pain of being covered in granite. It did not have limbs that would suddenly be held in place no matter how desperately the struggle continued for freedom. Nor did it have eyes that would be swiftly and most likely painfully blinded as the stone coated them. Its breath would not abruptly be stopped, and it would not feel that it was suffocating. It would not be in agony even now. It was inanimate, non-sentient, and always had been.
Unlike poor Seph.
He had to stop, swallowing hard, when he found the other's form. Even though he had known this had happened, even though he had witnessed it taking place, it did not lessen the sick feeling of seeing his old friend in stone. Seph's eyes were wide and filled with pain, panic, shock, and desperation. His outstretched arms and clawing hands spoke of his frantic and vain attempt to get free. His hair streamed out behind him, frozen in the moment.
He looked like an expertly carved statue, really—every detail applied painstakingly by some talented sculptor. And yet that was not the case at all. That was what made the sight so all at once horrific and shocking and unbelievable.
"Oh Seph . . ." The brunet reached out, gripping the other's lifeless hand as best as he could. If he could only do something instead of just standing here helplessly! All he could do was to try to speak to the older man, to try to get through to his spirit and give him some kind of comfort and reassurance.
He closed his eyes. Seph? Hey . . . it's me, old pal.
Of course he did not get any sort of physical reaction; what worried him was that he could not sense the other's spirit. It could not be encased in stone, even if Seph's body was. Was the stone blocking all attempts at communication? Was he in some sort of suspended animation or sleep? He was not dead, that much was clear. His friend would know if that was the case.
I dunno if you can hear me, but I'm not giving up on you. I can't even imagine what this must be like for you, Seph. It must be awful. I wish . . . I wish I could've done something to stop it. I wish I could get you out of this right now!
He tried to smile weakly. It's not over, Seph. Everything's going to be alright, somehow. We're gonna find a way to save you, I promise! Hey, I always keep my promises, right?
Still nothing. Did Seph hear him at all? Was he just incapable of responding, even through his thoughts? Did he not have the strength?
The lavender-eyed man sighed softly, his shoulders slumping. Slowly he released the other's cold hand. There had to be some solution to this! If they were on Gaia, Aerith would surely know of something they could do. But here, on a strange world, and one that did not seem to be overly dependant on magic, what kind of an answer was there? Jenova likely knew what to do to reverse it, but of course she would never tell.
If there was a way. . . .
Oh come on! He was not going to think like that. Seph would be freed even if Zack had to chisel the stone off his body, piece by piece.
He smirked weakly. That would never work. Even if he could hold the tool in his ghostly hands, he might hurt Seph. It had been a dark spell that had done this. They needed a light spell to undo it.
Zack . . . don't leave. Please. . . .
He froze. The communication had been weak, practically nonexistent, but he knew he had heard it. They had gotten through to each other.
Had Seph ever said "please" to him, in that tone of voice? He sounded so desperate . . . so agonized. It made the brunet's heart twist.
He tried to smile, laying a hand on the other's shoulder. "Hey, don't worry, Seph," he replied, his voice catching. "I'm not going anywhere."
Zack had buoyed him up when he had needed that more than anything. Zack had tried to get through to Cloud as well, but Cloud had been drowning in his feelings of anger and confusion and self-hatred. He had gone out riding frequently, but always returned. For some reason he had believed the answers he had sought were in that cave with Sephiroth.
And then at last Sephiroth had amassed enough power to struggle to break free of his prison. Of course, it had happened to be at a time when Cloud had been with him.
Cloud was back again. For some reason, he could not seem to stay away now that he had started to return. Sephiroth's fate still tortured him, haunted him, and he could not understand why. And even though his visits had mostly been in silence, now, for some reason, he felt like talking. And talking.
He walked up to Sephiroth's stone form, looking up into sightless eyes. "The mighty Sephiroth, reduced to this."
His voice sounded loud in the cold chamber.
"You have no idea what's going on, do you? I'm standing in front of you, staring up into your blank, dead eyes.
". . . You are dead, aren't you?"
Cloud waited, listening in vain for any sounds other than his own voice and the dripping of water somewhere in the distance.
"No one could survive what she did to you. Not even you could stop her. You tried, you'd almost won when she did this! We were there watching, shocked, helpless to do anything. If we would have in the first place. . . ."
He sighed, turning away as he continued to speak. "I want to think I would have tried, even though it's you, even though I still haven't been able to get over the hateful feelings I have for you. It looked like an awful, painful way to die. And now your body's been left like this, immortalized within this stone prison—a testament to Jenova's wrath." He looked back. "It's . . . it's just wrong to look at you, to know that you were a living, feeling person once, and that now you're nothing more than a statue.
"Could you still be alive in there? Can you still think and feel? Can you see? Do you know I'm here?"
Cloud reached out, placing his hand over where Sephiroth's heart should be underneath the encasing. All he could feel was the cold, lifeless granite, or whatever it was she used. There was no way of telling if his heart could still be beating.
Finally Cloud scoffed. ". . . How would it be possible? You wouldn't be able to breathe. I guess it could be like suspended animation, but would it? It would be more of a torture for you to be alive, even conscious, than for you to have been killed. Jenova would like that. She hates you now that she knows she can't use you for her purposes any longer.
"I don't even know why I'm here in the first place. This place is deserted now; Jenova long ago skipped out, and we already looked to see if she'd left any clues to where she was going. There's no reason for me to have come back. No reason at all.
". . . Not unless I have some morbid fascination with your predicament. Or unless I want to find out if you are still alive . . . if you could still be saved. But I don't know why I'd want to save you. I should just leave you like this."
He turned to go but stopped, clenching a fist. "But I can't. Even after everything you've done in the past, I can't feel right about abandoning you to this fate. Not if there's some way to change it.
"You've been a different person than you were a couple of years ago. I know that, I know you've been trying to live a better life. You tried to move on. Maybe I should have, too. It's just hard to let go of what you did to me, to the people I loved, especially when I looked up to you so much. It's not easy to get over that betrayal. It's like . . . it's like that pain I've felt for years has ended up turning to hatred and has been around me like a vise. I've felt it poisoning me, especially after we got our memories back on this planet.
"The ironic thing is that it's like I'm stuck in the past, while you've been able to move into the future. You fully know everything you did that hurt others, but you haven't just hung around letting it drag you down in self-pity and guilt. You've been actively trying to make retribution. And meanwhile, I'm becoming like the you I still abhor, the you who had a burning hatred that eventually swallowed up all other feelings. Only I haven't lost my mind. Or have I? Maybe I would have had to, to be here now."
He laughed darkly at that.
"Even with the way Tifa hated you in the past, for what you did to Nibelheim and especially her father, she's told me that I need to try to let it go. You aren't the person anymore who did those things, and if I just keep hating you so much, I'll be more at fault than you are now. She knows it's not simple, but she's seen how it's been changing me and she's worried.
"Why is it that I can't fully accept that you're different now that you're sane and now that you regret what you did? Why is it that I feel like my loathing for you has only increased?"
He stared up into Sephiroth's lifeless eyes again. "I don't really have a reason to hate you anymore, do I? Is that what frustrates me so much? I still do hate you, and yet now I can't justify it. I can talk all I want about how you're not the same person, and how I know I need to forgive you. But it sounds hollow. You did so much to me, and to everyone else!
". . . You've never forgiven yourself, have you? I can still see the self-hatred here in your dead, stone eyes. It's been there ever since you got back your memories. And now it will be there for eternity. If you can never forgive yourself, how can I be expected to?"
He snorted. "That's a lame excuse. But even though I know how much my feelings are damaging me, I can't seem to let go of them."
"Even though you're also hurting the people you love?"
Cloud jumped a mile. "Aerith?!" He turned around, wondering, hoping he'd see her. No one was there that he could see, but he knew he'd heard her just now!
"Cloud, if you can't forgive him for any other reason, can't you try for Tifa, for Denzel and Marlene, and everyone else? For me, too? And Zack?"
"Yeah. Hey, look, we don't want to see you end up like Seph did. And even if you'd never flip out like that, you're still letting this bitterness completely control and twist your soul. That's not cool."
It felt like a hand coming down hard on Cloud's head. "Hey!" he snapped, reaching up to bat it away. But there was still nothing and no one visible to him.
"That's for making us worry. Just cut it out, man!"
Cloud glared in the direction of his voice. "Yeah, that's easy for you to say."
"Oh?" Aerith sounded amused.
Cloud gave up. It was pointless to keep balking with them. "Okay, so if it's so easy, what am I supposed to do?" he scowled.
"You want to help him, in spite of your feelings. That's a good sign. You haven't completely given in to your hate, yet."
"Yeah, but there's nothing I can do for him. Look at him!" Cloud gestured at Sephiroth's frozen form. "I don't have any way to fix that! If he's even alive in there to begin with!"
"You can still just be here for him," Zack said. "He's gonna need somebody."
Cloud stared again. "Wait, what?! Need somebody?! Zack, what are you . . ."
A sudden cracking sound interrupted him. The stone was tearing asunder, bright light shining out through each crack. Cloud only barely managed to dive out of the way as the stone shattered and pieces flew everywhere. He tried to shield his eyes, and a sharp fragment clipped his arm as it went past.
What was going on?!
He dared to look back. Sephiroth was free, disoriented and weak as he stumbled. He gasped for breath, shuddering and falling to his hands and knees amid all the shards. His hair flew out around him, then swooped around his shoulders and down his back.
Cloud just stared. How could he comprehend this? Sephiroth was alive. . . . He was alive all that time, trapped in that stone. His skin was chalk white, and he was still shaking as he coughed. But most people likely couldn't have survived at all.
Slowly Cloud got up, making his way over to the dazed man. "Sephiroth . . ." But he didn't really know what to say. "Are you okay?" would sound stupid, and he'd probably just say Yes, anyway.
Sephiroth didn't look up, but he paused. "Who's there?" he mumbled as he started to push himself fully onto his knees.
Cloud hesitated. "It's . . . it's Cloud," he finally replied, stammering.
Now Sephiroth looked up, squinting as he blinked at Cloud in the glowing lights of the cave. For a moment Cloud almost wondered if he was blind, but then he focused. "Cloud. . . ." He stared, like Cloud was the last person he thought he'd see, if he saw anyone at all."Why?"
"I don't know," Cloud muttered, bending down and picking up the Masamune. "I just . . ." He shook his head, not wanting to try finishing the sentence. "I don't know."
Sephiroth blinked at Cloud again, as if he was still having trouble with his eyesight, and then looked away. "Do you ever, Cloud?" he grunted.
Cloud scowled. "Look, how did you get out, anyway?!"
"Jenova underestimated me," Sephiroth replied. "She may not be actively feeding my powers any longer, but I still have her cells and the knowledge I gained in the Lifestream. I've been gathering strength to break free since this happened."
That caused Cloud to stare again. "You had the power all along to get out?!"
"I didn't know if I did," Sephiroth retorted. "I hoped." He drew a shuddering breath. "It . . . hasn't been easy."
Cloud still looked weirded out. "Were you aware of everything?"
"No," Sephiroth said. "I could only sense things, not hear or see."
Cloud relaxed. His secrets were likely safe then.
He hesitated, then reached out a hand. "Well, come on then," he said gruffly.
Sephiroth looked at Cloud's hand dumbly, but then shakily accepted it and gripped his wrist. He stumbled, but Cloud was able to get him on his feet again before Sephiroth sag against him. Aerith and Zack had definitely been right; he couldn't make it out on his own. Hopefully he wouldn't need to be carried out, since Cloud could not do that.
"Can you walk?" he asked shortly.
Sepiroth was silent, as if he was if thinking of the answer. "Yes," he said then.
Cloud didn't look convinced. "You're probably saying that mainly so I'll let go of you," he said. "And you'll probably collapse the minute I do."
"Maybe," Sephiroth said noncommittally, but he didn't specify which remark he was addressing.
Cloud sighed. "Let's get out of here then." Idly he wondered if Aerith and Zack were still there. They probably were, he supposed. Were they satisfied now?
He was still holding onto Sephiroth's wrist. Before Sephiroth could protest, Cloud draped his arm over Cloud's shoulders to support him. He was too weary to pull away as Cloud started to guide him toward the exit. Instead he stumbled, and Cloud could feel his body trembling. How badly was he hurt? Was Cloud going to have to try to keep him awake? It still seemed unreal this was happening at all. How was Sephiroth possibly alive?
"Do you remember what happened to you?" Cloud asked at last.
Sephiroth was quiet again. "Yes, I do. It was dark and cold. . . . The silence was deafening, and I was alone with my thoughts and feelings. I believed that I would remain in that state for all eternity unless I could break free."
Cloud stared ahead and didn't look at him. "Everyone thought you'd have to be dead."
He didn't look surprised by that. "That would be a logical assumption."
He stumbled again, more violently this time, and crashed hard against Cloud, who fell forward, forced to throw all of his weight into his right foot to try to keep them both from landing on the floor. It wasn't really a surprise that Sephiroth was so feeble after what happened and trying for days to get the strength to break the stone. But Cloud had never actually thought about how they would get away.
"You'd better not pass out on me," Cloud muttered, finally getting his balance. "I can't carry you." And Sephiroth still had his pride. It was unlikely he'd like to be carried out of there even if Cloud could manage to do it.
He grunted, still slumped against Cloud even though he was trying to straighten up. "I can make it. . . ."
Cloud gave him a look. "I really doubt you can, at least not without my help. I think you know it, too.
"When we get outside, my motorcycle's there. I wasn't expecting I'd have company, but if you can hang on, I'll get us back to the city. Then Shera can examine you. Or Vincent."
Sephiroth was silent for a longer time now as they moved closer to the exit. "You could have left me," he said quietly. "You said that everyone thought I must be dead. Then no one would have blamed you for not doing anything. They wouldn't have thought there was anything to do." He was clearly confused, maybe even bothered, by these things.
Well, that made two of them.
"Yeah, I know. I thought you were out of my life for good. But we didn't actually know that you were dead." Cloud held onto him firmly as they stepped out into the twilight. "I don't want to let myself end up like you did when you lost your mind. I'm not going to let my hateful feelings control me!"
". . . So you decided you needed to find out for sure?"
"Something like that."
They reached Fenrir and Cloud slowly climbed on, still supporting Sephiroth. The silver-haired man hesitantly followed, getting on behind Cloud. "Do you regret it?" he asked then, bringing his gaze up to meet Cloud's.
Cloud held the stare for a minute, then looked away, turning the key to start the engine. "I've been asking myself that question ever since the stone broke. Honestly, I can't tell you the answer." He pulled his goggles firmly over his eyes, trying not to tense as Sephiroth slowly grabbed onto his shoulders. Instead Cloud kept his attention on the road, turning Fenrir around and heading back. "Hold on tight," he said.
". . . I might need to put my arms around your waist for greater safety," Sephiroth pointed out.
Cloud did not like that idea at all. But he knew at least that Sephiroth was being logical. In his condition, just holding onto Cloud's shoulders might not be good enough.
". . . Do what you have to do," he said at last in resignation.
After a moment he felt the other's arms shakily curl around his waist. Trying not to tense up completely in discomfort, he just drove on without comment.
He didn't know that he'd ever really have the answer to the question Sephiroth had asked, if he regretted coming here. And he didn't know that he could ever do what Aerith and Zack wanted and fully stop hating his old enemy. He did know that what they had said was true, that he needed to try to stop at least for them and everyone else he cared about. He wished he knew how to make his feelings go away. He didn't want to hate.
"Maybe you've already taken the first step."
"Yeah. And hey, don't think you have to do things all on your own, man! Come on, you've got all your friends to help you. Don't keep pushing people away. Didn't we already learn that that's a stupid thing to do?"
Cloud smirked slightly. Yeah, he guessed they did.
"So don't, already!"
"Okay, okay. I'll try," Cloud muttered.
"Good. That's all we're asking."
"Tell Seph hello from me."
"Why not tell him yourself?"
"I'll do that!" Zeck said cheerfully.
After a while Cloud felt Sephiroth leaning heavier against him. Had he fallen asleep or unconscious? Either was dangerous on a motorcycle, even with Sephiroth holding on as tightly as possible. And Cloud wasn't particularly thrilled at being a pillow either.
"Hey," Cloud said loudly. "Stay awake!"
Sephiroth started. "I'm awake."
And he was. He was alive, his blood was warm, he was not encased in stone. He was free.
Slowly he pushed himself away from where he had dozed against Cloud's back. The motorcycle had not slowed yet. Idly he wondered how much farther they had to go. He wasn't sure how long he could last trying to sit upright.
He looked up at the sky, his hair whipping against his face. He had been afraid that he would never see again, or hear, or feel. And he certainly hadn't thought anyone would be there for him if he managed to break free, Cloud least of all. Cloud had come for him, but he did not understand why, or how. Sephiroth did not hate Cloud, but he knew that Cloud hated him, despised him with every fibre of his being. He wanted to know the answers, but he knew that Cloud himself did as well. They were both confused over this turn of events.
The blond glanced back at him slightly, questioningly. "You okay?" he found himself mumbling.
Sephiroth looked back at him, nodding slowly in reply. "Yes."
Cloud turned his attention back to driving. Sephiroth leaned back, still holding onto him as they went around a corner.
xxxx
Sephiroth was only half-awake by the time they reached the mansion. Cloud could feel the other's grip growing heavier again as he started to slump forward. Then he realized what he was doing and abruptly straightened up once more.
Cloud sighed, shaking his head as he switched off the engine and pushed up his goggles. "Did you sleep at all when you were . . . ?" It sounded stupid to ask. But from the way Sephiroth had described it, he had seemed to have been conscious at least some of the time, though he had not actually specified. And maybe he honestly did not know the answer.
Sephiroth grunted. "There were times when I seemed to lose consciousness," he answered. "But I was really in a bad stupor of mind the entire time. I could think about things through the fog and I was always aware I couldn't move." He released Cloud slowly, watching as the blond started to climb down. Shakily he leaned forward, placing his hands on the control panel. He did not want to admit that he felt too weak to get off.
But Cloud recognized it anyway. He had not planned to make his enemy walk by himself. He turned back, grabbing the other's left arm and pulling it over his shoulders. "Come on," he instructed.
Carefully Sephiroth brought his leg over from the other side of the vehicle, then stepped down onto the pavement. Without warning his knees gave out on him, sending him crumpling downward. Cloud gasped in surprise, quickly placing an arm around the other's waist to keep them both from falling. He held on firmly as Sephiroth struggled to stand upright again, and then suddenly realized that they were being watched.
"Hey!" came Cid's accented voice from the porch. "What are you doing, Cloud? You didn't come back drunk like a fool, did you? And who's with you?"
Sephiroth looked irritated. Cloud had to smirk slightly in amusement.
"No, I'm sober," he replied, as they walked slowly to the porch. "I've got . . ." He paused. "I've got a really weak and exhausted man with me. I was hoping maybe Shera could check him over, see if he'll be okay. Is she here too?"
Cid shrugged. "Yeah, we're here visiting Tifa. Yazoo's here too. But you don't usually go around finding strange folk to bring back. What's . . ." He trailed off as they reached the porch, the glow from the lightbulb hitting on both Cloud and Sephiroth. The cigarette dropped from his mouth as he let out a low curse in shock. "Can't be," he murmured.
"It is," Cloud replied, reaching over and pushing the door open before walking inside with his nemesis.
Tifa was in another part of the house, but she came running as soon as she heard Cloud's voice. He hadn't come back at all since he had left several days ago, nor had he answered his phone. But now, thankfully, he was here. "Cloud!" She rushed into the living room and then stopped short in disbelief at the sight of Cloud steadying Sephiroth. What . . . what was going on? How . . . how was this possible?
Cloud looked up at her. "Hey. . . ." His voice was quiet, subdued, and to her immense relief, he sounded at peace, for the time being, at least. "I brought him back. Is there anywhere he can rest?" Sephiroth's room upstairs was still vacant; no one had dared to move into it. But Cloud seriously doubted that he would be able to get the other up the long flight of steps. For now, he needed something on the first floor.
Tifa tried to gather her wits. "Um . . . yeah!" she said, looking back to the hall. "There's a lot of spare rooms down here. . . ."
Cloud nodded. "Okay. I'll take him there. Can you ask Shera to come look him over?"
Tifa bit her lip, but nodded. "Sure," she answered, shifting as she glanced uncomfortably to Sephiroth. He looked back, his eyes tired, his flesh ghostly pale, his whole body ready to crumple to the floor. Obviously, Cloud was the only thing holding him up.
"Thanks." With that, Cloud started to move forward, making sure to go slowly enough that Sephiroth could keep up. In that way, they proceeded down the corridor to the room Tifa had indicated.
She watched them until they entered, then turned, still so bewildered, and went to find Shera. This was not the time to ask questions.
Tifa sighed, folding her arms as she continued to keep vigil over Sephiroth. That had been . . . quite possibly one of the strangest nights she'd ever had. Sephiroth had been more seriously hurt on this occasion, but the aftermath of the "statue crisis," as she thought of it now, had been far harder to understand. She had waited to ask questions until Shera had been examining him, but Cloud's answers hadn't always helped things make more sense.
At least, however, Cloud had been more at peace. If Sephiroth being alright had been the catalyst for that, then Tifa was immeasurably grateful to him.
Cloud was leaning against the wall outside the room with folded arms, his bangs falling over his eyes, his expression unreadable. Tifa soon approached him. This was, hopefully, a good time to ask.
"Cloud . . . how did you get him back?"
Cloud pretended not to know what she meant. "We rode back on Fenrir," he said.
Tifa sighed. "Before that," she said. "How did you possibly . . ."
"I didn't," Cloud interrupted. He looked up. "Sephiroth was alive the whole time. He told me he'd been gathering his strength to try to break out of the stone. Finally he made it, right when I was there."
Tifa stared at him in shock. "Sephiroth got out on his own?!"
Cloud shrugged. "He still has all his powers and abilities, I guess." He perked up. "Maybe we really stand a chance against Jenova after all."
"I hope we do," Tifa agreed.
"I don't know how he would've got back to town if I hadn't been there," Cloud mumbled. "He was too weak to walk. I don't know if he's drained from using his energy or from this whole rotten mess."
"Probably from everything," Tifa said. How could such an experience not drain someone?
"Yeah." Cloud pushed away from the wall.
"You're different," Tifa observed. "You're not so angry now."
"I still hate him," Cloud said. But there was no venom in his words. It sounded more like he was saying it out of habit now, rather than truly meaning it.
"Do you really?" Tifa replied.
"Yeah." But Cloud quickly abandoned the topic when Shera came out. "How is he?"
Shera looked bowled over and bewildered. "He's incredibly weak and needs time to recover, but he's alright. Don't ask me how; I guess that's one upside of being hit with magic instead of science—you can come out of it relatively alright once the spell is broken."
Cloud snorted. "Or it's just because he's Sephiroth."
"He's not invincible, Cloud," Tifa said.
"Sometimes it seems like it." Cloud sighed, his tense muscles relaxing. "Thanks, Shera."
She nodded. "Let me know how he's doing later." With that, she went to find Cid and Yazoo.
Cloud quietly opened the door to look in. Sephiroth had already fallen asleep on the bed, the quilt down around his waist.
Cloud rolled his eyes. "You just can't cover up, can you?" he muttered. He closed the door.
"What are you going to do, Cloud?" Tifa asked.
Cloud shrugged. "Get something to eat, I guess. And watch over him, make sure he's okay."
Tifa smiled. Now she was sure that Cloud would be okay too.
Sephiroth wasn't sure anything else would have shocked him as much as finding Cloud with him when the stone had broken. He had thought at least some of the group would have been glad to have him gone, Cloud especially. But Cloud had instead been glad to have him back, and even though the others had been leery of him and didn't have the strange bond with him that Cloud did, they had seemed more positive about him being alive than he had thought they would. Maybe they just hadn't liked the thought of anyone suffering such a horrific death. Or maybe they had hoped that with this revelation that Sephiroth was still powerful beyond just being a skilled swordsman, they really could bring Jenova down.
And they hadn't been wrong. Sephiroth knew he had been vital in defeating her at last upon their rematch. Everyone had helped by giving him their materia and their belief that he would win, but no one else could have lasted against Jenova's onslaught in the skies.
It was a relief to have beaten her, for more reasons than one. They were all safe now. Jenova could no longer hurt them. And Sephiroth had proved that he was not a monster, that he could use everything he had gained during that dark time for good.
That would help a great deal in the emotional healing. What Jenova had done to him in that first battle did indeed still haunt him, as Tifa surmised. At least he had proved he could escape her trap himself, but the memory of those helpless days did not easily go away. There were still times when he awoke with a gasp and took a moment to process that he was not trapped in stone.
He'd had worse fates, really, so sometimes it annoyed him that this one still shook him up so much. But Zack would likely tell him it was only human to be traumatized by something like that.
Was Cloud still bothered by it, he wondered, or had he fully put it behind him?
With Cloud, it was always hard to say.
He gasped, his eyes flying open. For a long moment he gazed up at the ceiling, as his breathing and heart rate slowed back to normal. Was he actually looking up at the top of the room? Was this real, and not another of the dreams he had had about finally being free? He had experienced so many of those, only to awaken still trapped in his prison. It would seem strange to anyone else, that being able to lay on his back and stare at the ceiling was a relief.
He threw the covers back, looking down at himself. He was able to move again, to see, to touch. . . . The stone was no longer encasing his body in its icy atmosphere. After what he had experienced, it seemed too incredible to be true.
The sound of soft breathing to his left caused him to turn and look in that direction. He blinked when he saw Cloud slumped over the bed, his upper body laying on it while the rest was still in a chair. The younger man looked extremely uncomfortable, but he was too exhausted to notice.
"He's been so tired lately. . . ."
He looked up with a start. Tifa had entered the room and now was approaching Cloud's chair. Gently she draped a throw around the sleeping spiky-haired young man. She was smiling softly in a wistful way, and now she looked over to the one who was watching her actions. Her eyes held no hatred or contempt, and actually, she seemed relieved. He studied her questioningly.
"It's strange," she mused now, "that it was because of you he was worrying so much. You being free gave him peace. I have to be grateful to you for that."
He stared at her in amazement. "He . . . he was worried about me?" he said at last.
"Not that he'd ever admit it," Tifa added, "but I'd say it's pretty obvious that he was. He wanted to help you, even though he couldn't understand why."
Sephiroth looked away. "I don't understand why either."
Tifa especially, more than some of the others, had a good reason to despise and loathe Sephiroth. He would not have been surprised in the least if she still wanted nothing to do with him, but instead she was being civil, and he had seen from her eyes that she did not hate him. That still amazed him, and he supposed that he had not fully become aware of it before now.
Tifa was silent, collecting her thoughts. At last she walked around to the other side of the bed, hesitantly laying a hand on his bare shoulder. His skin felt cool underneath her fingers, almost icy after his experience, and she stifled a shudder. What had he suffered all that time? Would he ever feel warm again? Though she had managed to put her feelings of loathing behind her, he was still not one of her favorite people. But she was aghast at what he must have gone through.
"You needed help," she said simply, and swallowed hard. "I . . . I know you're not the man you were in the past."
"But you still don't know if you can trust me," Sephiroth supplied. "It's understandable. I wouldn't trust someone such as myself either."
Tifa nodded slowly. "Well . . . I'd . . . better go," she said awkwardly. "You need your rest, and I don't want to wake up Cloud. . . ." Sephiroth nodded quietly in encouragement, and she swiftly departed.
Sephiroth sighed to himself, leaning back into the soft bed. At the edge of the mattress, Cloud mumbled something in his sleep.
What a strange situation.
xxxx
Tifa had not been the only visitor. After another peaceful sleep, he awakened to a familiar and very welcome voice.
"Seph?"
The silver-haired man turned half-open eyes toward the sound of the friendly voice. Zack had entered through the door and was walking over to the bed, his eyes kind and filled with concern.
"Hey . . . how're you feeling?" he asked when he reached it.
Sephiroth shrugged weakly. "Strange," he admitted.
Zack sat down slowly. "Is it weird to be able to move again?"
"Somewhat. . . . It's also strange to be able to see, to hear, to feel. . . ." Sephiroth looked away, but not before Zack had seen the haunted flicker in his green eyes. "I was afraid I would never be free. . . ."
Zack laid a gentle hand on the other's shoulder. "I tried to talk to you sometimes . . . to tell you it would be okay. I don't know if you remember, but at the time you acted like you'd heard me. . . ."
Sephiroth could feel the energy in his friend's touch, and the kindness, though Zack was no longer mortal. "I do remember," he answered carefully. "There were occasions when I had the feeling that you were there, speaking to me . . . but I always wondered if it was nothing but a dream."
"It was real," Zack said. "I tried to always be there for you during the times Cloud wasn't there. He started being there a lot once he started going."
"Why did Cloud go there?" Sephiroth asked now.
Zack shrugged helplessly. "I think he felt guilty, actually," he said slowly. "He thought he should have been able to have stopped that from happening to you. And at the same time, he hated that he felt that way."
Sephiroth grunted. "Cloud feeling guilty over something that happened to me is not easy to comprehend," he said flatly. "I can't believe it."
Zack nodded, still smiling in that wistful, rueful way. "I know," he replied. And he knew he would likely never be able to make Seph believe it. Only one person would be able to do that, and he probably still did not believe it himself.
"I know you wouldn't lie to me," Sephiroth said. "But it's still so difficult to picture."
"Cloud was pretty surprised too," Zack said. "He didn't know how to deal with it then and he probably still doesn't know." He smiled, looking to where Cloud was sound asleep laying half on the bed. "But it looks like he's figuring it out better than he was."
". . . How bad was he?" Sephiroth asked.
Zack sighed. "Tifa was worried about him," he said. "He was getting upset and screaming all over the place and denying why he was so upset. Well, maybe he honestly told himself those other reasons why were he was upset. When Tifa figured out it was because of you, he screamed even more and denied it up and down. Then she figured out he was upset because he hadn't been able to help you. He up and left at that and just stayed in the canyons, mostly in the cave."
Sephiroth just stared at Cloud. "The same way he stayed in Aerith's church during the geostigma crisis?"
"Yeah," Zack said quietly.
Sephiroth didn't know what to say to that. How . . . how could Cloud do that when it was him? How could he feel that strongly about it? This kept getting more unbelievable all the time.
". . . I should really let you rest," Zack remarked now.
Sephiroth shook his head. "Stay," he entreated. Zack's presence was the best healing balm.
Zack peered at him. He could see the haunted look in his friend's eyes. He didn't really want to go, so with Sephiroth's approval, he would stay.
"I'll make a deal with you," he said. "I'll stay, but no staying awake if you feel yourself starting to nod off! Just go to sleep if it comes on you, Buddy."
"Sleep . . . isn't always a relief," Sephiroth replied. "I dream about it."
Zack's eyes flickered. He should have expected that, although he hadn't expected Sephiroth to admit it. But then again, Sephiroth always had opened up to him, even before they had become close. He had never been the stoic glacier some had seen him as. Zack was ashamed for his own thoughts to that end upon first meeting the famed General. Seph was so warm and kind and wonderful. At least Zack had come to realize that before long.
"I'm sorry, Seph," he said at last.
Sephiroth smiled a bit. "I know." His eyes darkened. "Beating Jenova was too easy that time. I knew something wasn't right. I simply had no idea what she was planning."
"You couldn't have prepared for it," Zack said. "I'm just glad you were strong enough to get out of it."
Sephiroth nodded. "I'll have to be prepared for anything when we go up against her again."
"Just don't do that until you're up for it," Zack said in concern.
"I won't," Sephiroth promised. "That would be foolish. The next time we fight her, we must win. That won't happen if we aren't at top fighting strength."
"Yeah, no kidding," Zack frowned. He wished he could be there to help.
Sephiroth was silent for a moment. "Now that I know I still have my powers even without Jenova's blessing, I know what I am likely to have to do when I face her again."
Zack wasn't sure he liked the way Seph had said that. "What do you mean, Bud?" he asked.
"My final form from fighting against Cloud and the others. I will have to take that on again. Only . . ." Sephiroth frowned. "I don't want to be at any disadvantage. I need my legs."
". . . Can you change that form that much?" Zack wondered.
"I think so," Sephiroth said. "If I have full control, I should be able to do what I need to." He sighed and leaned back into the bed. "I'll try it when I'm well again."
Zack sighed too. "Okay." He hoped Seph knew what he was doing and would not hurt himself in such an attempt. Still, he had confidence in his old friend. Seph was still powerful and he was sane. That might be Jenova's undoing.
xxxx
Cloud muttered angrily to himself as he pushed his body into an upright position. Apparently, he had slept like that all night, and now his aching back and neck were protesting because of it.
He yawned, running a hand through his hair as he absently pushed back the quilt Tifa had brought earlier. What a weird night. And then being asleep had not been all that pleasant, since he had continued to have nightmares as well as memories of events that had occurred in connection with Sephiroth's . . . predicament.
He had gone back to that cave so many times, seeking the solutions to his perplexities. Sometimes he had stood and stared into Sephiroth's dead eyes, as if he could receive an answer from them. But usually he had not been able to stand doing that for very long. He hated looking into those stone orbs, since they had once been real and vibrantly green. When he could not take it any longer, he had always ended up in his favorite spot, sitting on the floor next to what he had believed to be a frozen corpse.
"You look terrible."
He grunted in response to the flat comment, slowly turning to look at his enemy. Sephiroth was awake, but he looked exhausted. His hair was uncharacteristically wild, indicating a restless night, and his eyes were bloodshot and half-closed. In his right hand he lightly gripped at the quilt.
"So do you," Cloud retorted instantly.
Sephiroth raised his left hand slightly off the bed as if in a shrugging manner. His reason for the largely sleepless night was different from Cloud's. He preferred to remain awake, as that proved his freedom was real. Trying to sleep made him much too stressed right now, as he continued to fear the discovery that he was not truly free.
"You should have taken Tifa's advice and gone to bed," he said then.
"I know," Cloud grumbled.
"Why didn't you?"
The blond shrugged, slowly pulling himself into a standing position to stretch his muscles. "Too tired to move, I guess," he said. The last thing he would ever admit to was that he had partially wanted to make sure that Sephiroth would be alright. And when he thought of that at all, he immediately tried to convince himself that it was not a reason.
After a moment Cloud glanced back over at the other. "How are you feeling?" he asked, his tone gruff and sounding as though he clearly would rather not be asking at all.
And Sephiroth could easily tell. "If you don't really want to know, then there's not any need to ask in order to be polite," he remarked.
Cloud glowered. "I'm not trying to be polite!" he snapped.
"True, that isn't one of your specialities," Sephiroth said ironically. He studied his longtime nemesis in honest confusion. "What, then?"
Cloud looked away, suddenly finding the view out the window very intriguing. "I never said I didn't want to know," he said in a mutter. And since he did want to know, but did not want to ask, it made the situation very odd.
Leaning against the wall, Zack shook his head with a mock sigh. "Cloud . . . what am I going to do with you?" he bemoaned. "Come on, will it hurt for you to drop the pride thing just once?" Then a smirk of amusement crossed his features. "Sometimes, you're as bad as Seph. Sometimes you're worse."
"Gee, thanks," Cloud retorted.
Overhearing the exchange, Sephiroth found himself amused as well as bewildered. The thought of Cloud really wanting to know was so foreign to him. And yet, he couldn't deny that Cloud had been far less hostile to him ever since his return. Something had changed between them.
"Look, can you just answer the question?" Cloud burst out then, glancing back with frustration at the silver-haired man.
Zack was further amused. "Better humor him, Seph," he said as he turned to walk through the wall. "It took a lot for him to say this much." Waving lazily to them both, he vanished again. Yet, somehow, neither was convinced that he would not continue to observe the proceedings.
Sephiroth crossed his arms. "I'm doing well, considering I've spent unknown days in a condition that most would immediately die from."
"It was two weeks," Cloud rejoined darkly.
Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. "You've kept track?" Somehow it was not at all what he had expected.
Cloud shrugged, slowly walking to the chair and sitting down again. "Tifa has," he mumbled, almost incoherently, and Sephiroth got the feeling that it was a partial truth at best.
"Zack said that you went to the cave frequently," Sephiroth said after a moment, deciding not to push the issue of who had been recording the passing days.
Cloud frowned. "He did?" Well, that should not be a surprise. It would be like Zack, to decide that Sephiroth needed to know that fact.
"Why did you go?"
"I don't know!" Cloud exploded. Then he sighed, slumping back into the chair. "I just . . . I don't know." He glared at the floor. "I wanted answers."
"I could hardly have given them to you."
"That's why it was stupid," Cloud muttered, mostly to himself. He shrugged. "I felt like . . . that was the only place I really belonged, that I deserved to be there. I wasn't able to stop Jenova. . . ." Then he trailed off. How was Sephiroth getting him to say this? He had not even wanted to tell it to Tifa. He had not wanted to acknowledge it to himself.
Sephiroth was regarding him with shocked eyes. Then . . . it sounded as though what Zack had said was true. Cloud had felt guilty and had blamed himself.
"You couldn't have done anything," he said in a flat tone.
Cloud started. He frowned, looking over at Sephiroth as if realizing only now that he had said more than he had ever wanted to. "I know I couldn't have," he growled.
"Then why trouble yourself over it?" Sephiroth asked calmly. "Especially when you don't like me in the first place?"
Cloud glared at him for a moment before at last looking away. "That's what I've been trying to figure out," he admitted in annoyance.
Sephiroth was silent. It was, quite frankly, amazing, to say the least. He had not been able to comprehend it from Zack, and now that Cloud had said it, it seemed only more unbelievable.
"It's going to be hard to win against Jenova if we keep on like we have been."
Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at these words. "Are you suggesting that we put the past behind us?" He knew how hard it was for Cloud to do or even consider such a thing. And, he supposed, the past still haunted himself even though he had been trying to move forward.
Cloud was not sure himself what he was saying. He frowned. "It's just a thought that came to me," he said, looking over at his former enemy.
"You're right, though," Sephiroth grunted. "For once." He paused, staring off at the opposite wall. "And Zack would be pleased if we could form a truce."
That was certainly true. "Maybe we should then," Cloud said, ignoring the sarcastic comment. "Just for now."
Sephiroth grunted. "And stop when Jenova is defeated?"
Cloud shrugged. "Zack would like us to keep it up indefinitely," he said, "but we'd be lucky if we could manage to do it until we beat Jenova." And maybe, if their luck continued, they would be able to carry it on after that. It was strange, how Cloud felt ready to at least try to push aside his hateful feelings. Well, they had been fading since yesterday, but a truce would keep them at bay even longer.
He rolled his eyes. Zack had wanted this to happen. He had kept hoping for this result since Cloud and Sephiroth had regained their memories. Cloud had to restrain himself from saying, "Are you happy now?" For Zack was surely listening.
"If you're willing to try, then I am as well," Sephiroth said at last.
Cloud nodded slowly. There was no backing out now. "Shake on it?" he ventured.
Sephiroth held out his hand without batting an eye. Cloud grasped it, shaking it quickly yet firmly. The deal was set.
The door opened a crack and Marlene peeked into the room. "Is he okay?" she whispered to Tifa.
Tifa walked over to her and slipped into the hall to talk so as not to wake him. "He is," she said. "Are Zack and Cloud still asleep?" They were the main ones who had been watching over Sephiroth, but Aerith and Tifa had finally prevailed upon them to sleep, on the condition that they would take over the vigil instead. That was how Tifa had ended up here all this time on her shift.
Marlene nodded. "I just checked on them."
Tifa smiled. "Good."
"We're all going to be friends now, aren't we?" Marlene hoped.
That brought a look of surprise. "That would be nice," Tifa had to admit.
"There's no reason to hate Sephiroth anymore," Marlene said. "He saved us."
"Yes, you're right," Tifa said.
Marlene had been one of the first to really warm up to Sephiroth—ironic since he was awkward with children at best. And they had certainly had a rocky start at first. Tifa remembered when that had all come to a head.
Sephiroth, too, remembered.
Marlene was not sure why she could no longer hold back her feelings. She had been showing by her behavior how displeased she was over these recent events, but she had not said so in words—until now.
"Why did you come back?" she demanded, placing her hands on her hips as she stomped her foot and glared at the other. It was almost a comical site, a child with the height of seven years, addressing a six-foot-seven-inch man in his early thirties.
He gazed down at her. He had only managed to get up for a while that day and now was being greeted by this. A child, perhaps, at least physically—but in her eyes, what she had seen and heard over the last few years had made her an adult. She had grown up too soon, much like certain other people he knew . . . himself included.
"I don't know," he replied calmly.
"Not just here . . . but why at all?" Marlene persisted, her voice raising. "Why did you send us here? Why were you working with Cloud?! Why can't you ever just leave us alone?!"
Ah . . . she was so like Cloud—so full of spirit and fire. It was partially the blond's influence, of course, but perhaps some of it she had always possessed.
And what were even the answers to her queries? Why had he sent them there? Oh, he knew it had been part of some ridiculous plan of his to gain further power on his path to becoming a god. He had been tampering with things he should have left alone. And he had lost his memories in the process. It was ironic. But that was why he had been working with Cloud.
Zack would probably tell him that ending up in a situation with his worst enemy, where they could work together as friends, was not coincidental. Heh . . . he wondered if Zack even could have arranged it. The brunet would love to see his two best friends be able to put aside their troubled, twisted past. But that would be impossible, and they had proved it as such once their memories had been restored.
"And then Cloud was so upset when you got turned into stone," Marlene's voice broke into his thoughts again. "Why? Why would that matter?" Her voice had started to waver. "You wouldn't have been able to bother us anymore. . . ." Her shoulders shook as she raised her gaze to his again.
"You killed Aerith!" she accused now.
A flicker of something unreadable went through his eyes.
"I hate you!" she wailed. "I hate you!" She could no longer hold back the flood of tears, and she turned away angrily as they began to descend.
There, she had said it. It was finally off her chest and out in the open, after eating away at her young heart and soul for so long.
She hated feeling that way, too. Aerith would not want her to have such abhorrence for someone, not even Sephiroth. She knew Aerith would want her to forgive. Tifa, too, and Cloud. Oh, she had seen what Cloud's hatred had been doing to him, and how it had been breaking Tifa's heart. That was why she had never felt free to say what she thought about Sephiroth. She had not wanted to hurt Tifa worse.
The sound of Sephiroth moving caused her to quickly look back. To her surprise, instead of walking past her and out of the room, he had bent down to her eye level.
"Well," he answered, "I hate myself too."
His own eyes were filled with emotions she would not have thought him capable of—sorrow, regret, guilt. . . . There was a weariness as well, mixed in with the loathing he had mentioned. And somewhere behind it all, determination to keep living, to be a better person this time. He had been given a second chance, and he wanted to use it to the best of his abilities.
For a long moment they simply gazed at each other—two people who could not be more different, and yet who were coming to some sort of understanding.
Marlene bit her lip. Sephiroth had been out of his mind, driven by Jenova-poisoned hatred, when he had done those horrible things. Tifa had been afraid that Cloud would walk down the same path. She did not want to do it, too.
"Did Cloud forgive you?" she asked, at last breaking the silence.
Sephiroth gave a half smirk. "Not to my knowledge," he replied, and sobered again. "I don't expect it of him, or of anyone."
Slowly Marlene digested this, her expression scrunched in concentration. She shifted, the thoughts turning over themselves in her mind. Then, hesitantly, she looked back up at him. He was different now, not the rampaging madman he had been. He almost looked . . . kind.
"I think . . ." she said slowly, "I think I'd like to try." She gave him a small, but genuine, smile. "Cloud's been letting go of his hate. And he's a lot happier now."
Sephiroth stared at her, stunned. Children were deeply impressionable. She had been gravely affected by his crazed actions in the past. And he could see that there was still hurt and pain in her young eyes. But there was something else, too—an emotion he had seen recently in Zack's eyes. There was hope.
"You're going to stay now, aren't you?" Marlene asked.
"Yes," Sephiroth said. "But we'll have to fight Jenova again. I don't know what will happen then."
Marlene frowned. "You'd better come back," she said. "Cloud gets upset when you're hurt."
He smiled, touched. "We can't have that, can we? I'll do my best to make it back."
And Sephiroth had kept that promise. He had fought Jenova again and this time had come out the victor in spite of her cruelty and her tricks. They were all free to move forward in their new future together now because of their collective efforts and Sephiroth's bravery and sacrifice.
Perhaps, Tifa mused, even as friends as Marlene hoped.
A sound in the hall brought their attention up. Cloud was wandering out of his room, rubbing the back of his neck.
"What's going on?" he asked. "Is Sephiroth alright?"
"He's fine," Tifa said. "He's still asleep."
Cloud nodded awkwardly. "Good."
"Are you going to go in to him now?" Marlene asked.
"Uh . . ." Cloud looked awkward to be put on the spot. "Probably, I guess."
Tifa smiled. "It's nice to see you worried about him, Cloud."
Marlene nodded. "I like it a lot better than you getting mad all the time because you're worried and don't want to say so," she declared.
Now Cloud completely reddened. "I'm not worried," he insisted. "I know he's going to be okay. And I wasn't getting mad before because I was worried."
Marlene didn't look convinced. "What, then?"
Cloud hadn't quite expected that. Tifa just looked amused as he tried to work out an answer. "I . . . I was mad I hadn't been able to do something," he said at last.
"Because you care about him," Marlene supplied.
"No!" Cloud retorted. "Look, I . . . I'll just check on him now." And he dove inside the room, pulling the door shut after him.
Marlene frowned at the door. "Do you think Cloud will ever be honest about Sephiroth, Tifa?"
"I hope so," Tifa said. "At least he's working on it. That's better than he was doing before."
"Yeah, that's true," Marlene said.
Tifa smiled at her. "Come on, let's go find Denzel, okay?"
Marlene smiled and nodded. "Okay!" She skipped towards the stairs.
Tifa headed down after her. Everything had changed so much since they had first ended up on this planet. But now, especially, the changes were positive. They were all alright.
