CHAPTER 129
(I'm truly sorry, it is supposed to be one under that number but fanfiction has finished to mess with me and won against my resistance.)
I do not own Skip Beat! Yoshiki Nakamura does.
~~Magical Summer trip ~~
~~ part XXXIV~~
~~(because I don't care anymore,
fucking hell, there is no end of this summer trip)~~
Pirates!^^
They faced each other in angered silence the moment they could extirpate themselves from the crowd … after greeting one-too-many people wanting to congratulate them, once the applause had ceased. If it felt like an eternity, only a couple of minutes had really passed. But Kyoko did her best not to linger and dragged Ren with her as fast as she could. She wanted to have a look at his hand. So, after one last hug from Joylie, they bypassed the front, to go talk at the back of the deck, and she took hold of his hand the minute strangers were not grabbing at them anymore. Her own hands shook at the state of his palm. Raw, skin torn up, it was bleeding.
"We need to disinfect this quickly," she said, "you have a bad friction burn."
It was not too deep, and fortunately the amount of blood wasn't abundant, but the outside look appeared butchered.
Fortunately, she did not have to look for long as one of the crew men came to them before she had the time to ask, already carrying an emergency kit. He disinfected Ren's hand, and removed bits of ropes taken into the skin carefully, before dressing the wound. All this time, Ren did not so much as flinch at the process.
He kept his stare on her, silently locking her with his controlled expression, he was so silent it was starting to creep her out. Fury appeared to burn his gaze. But it didn't make sense, why would he be angry? Destabilized by his weird mood, the minute the crewman was out the picture, she spoke.
"Ren… What is it?"Then, as she grabbed his hand again, verifying the man had done the bandage correctly, she noticed he was shaking.
"Are you okay?"She asked, not understanding why he looked so frozen.
"… No, I'm not."He replied in a cold tone.
She frowned as she looked at his hand.
"Why? What's the matter? Does your hand hurt a lot?"She fired, worry ceasing her again, now that the immediate state to address was over. "Do you need painkillers or– "
He shook his head, the full display of how pissed off he was capturing the full slate of his expression, and making it clear the glimmer she had caught, hadn't been a figment of her imagination.
"I should have known you would not even have cared for your safety…"He said, and contrary to the usual, it was not amusement that coloured his tone but bitterness.
Her perplexity grew.
"What do you mean, my 'safety'?"
"Yes!"Ren said in a harsh tone. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?!"
"You could have fallen to the ground! You would have – …"He added with tremor, " … if I hadn't caught you…"
"I would not have," she protested. "I had a safe rope tightened around, remember?"
"That doesn't mean it would have hold!" He shot back, getting more and more agitated.
She waved her hand in the air, not getting why he was so worked up.
"It would have! You know it is not my first time doing this, I told you I had tightrope-walked in the past."
"Yes! But there was no safety net! You were standing eight metres above the ground, Kyoko!" He grabbed her shoulders. "Without a net to catch you if you fell, on a ridiculously small rope, and counting on one miserable knot … to hold your weight and the gravity, should you fall! And you did fall! You could have crashed to the ground!"
She shook her head, even if she understood, he did not need to fuss so much.
"I would not. You know I would not have."She said with confidence. And she believed it, she would not have taken the risk if she had had a doubt it would hold. "The knot was solid, Ren! It would have held."
He was shaking so much she could see the whole trembles shaking both his arms and fists now.
" … and you know I trust you by your word for almost everything," he murmured, his eyes colliding with hers as he said so … but he drifted his away. She pressed his hands at his words.
"But – …"
But? She thought, trying to catch back the sight of his face.
"You could have died!"His screamed whisper was so loud … it broke the bubble of quietness they had found, and the closest actor to them heard their discussion. But it was his gaze, back and pooling his anguish and terror like an overfilled flood into her own, drowning her in his emotion … that dawned on her what kind of fright she had just given him.
Her lips breached apart in an apology, but she did not get the chance to utter the words.
He grabbed her. She hit the hard surface of his chest as he crushed her to him, enveloping her in the snugness of his arms, and pressing her to him.
"You could have…"He murmured again, this time just for her ears. "If the rope hadn't held … if I hadn't caught you … you would have…"
He didn't end his sentence again, and she wrapped her arms around his waist. She made cute tiny circles with her thumbs at the low of his back.
"I'm okay, Ren. I'm okay."He tightened his hold, grumbling unhappily, and she returned the gesture for a second, smiling, before forcing him to let go, and took hold of his face with both hands.
"I swear to you … if I had had the tiniest doubt that knot would not have held, I would never have taken the chance, Ren."
His eyes bored into her for a long minute, and he looked uncharacteristically fragile for an instant.
"You swear?"He asked with such seriousness she had to force herself not to smile.
"Yes, I swear."She repeated, before planting her hands on her hips. "I'm not stupid, you know."
"Just insanely reckless."He mumbled grumpily.
"I heard that."She commented dryly, before rubbing a soothing hand against his back again. "Come on, I'm buying you a drink for playing with your nerves so much."
"I'm driving us back."He said.
She gave him an eye. She ignored how far went his tolerance to alcohol went, but without that knowledge, his lone height would have been enough to raise the bar by a good share. There was just no way he would be affected by one drink. Let alone the gut feeling he also had a built tolerance to his game.
Not sharing her thoughts, she shrugged in his direction.
"It will have worn off by the time we take back the road. Come on."
"Are you sure you are not hurt anywhere?"He asked, even as he let her drag him in the direction of the boat exit. "You would still have had a fair collection of bruises from the rope."
She was totally fine, on the opposite of him.
"You are the only one that got hurt. And you prevented any of that, I'm perfectly okay." She pulled at his hand, trying to distract him. "Come on, let's go."
They were half-through the way to the gangway, intercepted – and slowed down – regularly by the public who had swum the deck after the show, when Alia and Jack came to them, thanking them in profusion.
"If you want to take a picture while you are wearing the costume," Alia said, as they were about to give them their goodbyes, "there is a photo-booth at the entry of the creek."
"Right, the costumes."Kyoko said, only taking note they were still wearing them as she looked down at hers and Ren's clothes. "You probably want them back too."
It was Al, joining them, that replied.
"On the contrary, you can keep everything," he said with a mad grin, "fake swords, coats, and hats too."
"But – " Kyoko said.
"Don't you need them?"
"Half of it are your own clothes."Alia reminded them.
"And you both saved our jobs and humbled us with a spectacular improvised scene."Jack added. "The least we can do is let you keep the costumes."
Al nodded, and waved to them as he left them.
"Just not the boots," Alia warned, "the man we borrowed them to count on them, and good boots are apparently hard to find in such size."
Ren nodded good naturally.
"Of course."
"So."Alia started again. "The cabin is open anytime you want to fetch back your clothes and all, but if you decide you want a memento – "
She pointed at an area, right near the down corridor, behind the curved stairs.
"The photo-booth is over there."
They thanked her for the information, which she dismissed as not even worth mentioning, and after a couple of free passes for the whole year around, both her and Jack left too.
Ren pivoted to her with a smile. He looked drained. Positively. The stunt of earlier had drowned him in stress, truly. Guilt ate at her. She didn't want to see him that frightened again.
"I'm down to take pictures, if you are."He said, and she was not sure if he was faking the enthusiasm, or putting aside his well-being… Both were a possibility. The man was too kind, really. And she was not blind not to have seen he had basically brought her here because he knew how much she loved Disney's stuff.
Though, he did appear genuinely interested by the idea.
"Are you sure?"She asked. "I don't mind if we opt out."
Confirming with another smile, he said.
"It would be fun to have a souvenir from today, don't you think."
He was really tempting her with the sweetest kind of melody, it was too good of a deal to pass up.
A soft expression broke without her permission at the idea.
"That, it would be."
"Let's go, then."
At least, she had succeeded in getting his mind off the rope stunt, but she was putting her foot down into buying him more than a drink. He wouldn't care for the food, but maybe she could find something.
Deciding they would pick back the stuff they left in the cabin afterwards, they made their way down the gangway, slipping past more crowd, once out of the ship, and in the direction of the booth. But were abruptly interrupted in their sneak out when a lean man cut their road. A head under Ren's size, he was still on the taller side, but a more gnarled overlook, and filled with tough nervous energy.
"Hi. Can we help you with something?"Ren politely asked.
"Hello, sorry to bother you," He began. "I'm sure you are both tired, but if you accepted to speak with me just for a minute, I'll keep it brief."
They crossed eyes with each other for a second, silently asking the other if they were fine with it, before turning back to the man.
"Sure."They said at once.
He led them to an isolated bench, away from the mass of people gathered near the ship.
He shook both their hands, before letting them sit on the bench, and stared at them like his life depended on their words.
"I'm Kane Sparrow, by the way," He said, introducing himself, "and it is a real pleasure to meet you both."
They nodded, perplexed by the man's odd behaviour, but he was respectful enough, so there was no trouble listening to him.
"I'm Ren Tsuruga."Ren said, and she followed.
"Kyoko Mogami."
The overfilled glow that appeared to be shaking the man's body with raw tense energy since earlier, enlarged even further, as his eyes turned to saucers.
The grin that split his face was nearly comical with how serious his stare remained.
"You are professional actors."It was an affirmation and they took it as such.
"You heard of us?"Ren inquired, and Kyoko could see a glint of interest start to shine in Ren's eyes. As if he was suspecting something.
The man nodded.
"I know a couple of both your works, I just hadn't recognized you."He admitted, and he looked a bit shameful for a second, like he had realized he had almost swallowed a bitter lime. She did not understand why it was so, but she got her response in his next words.
"I can't believe I almost missed you … that is quite shameful." But then, before they could react to his words, he dismissed them. "But enough about that. Even if I hadn't, I would have recognized pros just by the level of the performance you just did … I'm in the field, you see."He finished with a smirk.
"We don't see such level of stunts and acting every day."He complimented them.
"Thank you." They both said.
"But I do have a few questions about it, if you don't mind."When they agreed, he fired a good dozen questions at them about how they had thought of everything. And where they had deviated from the script. And what part of the script had remained. And how they had come to fill in for the show. The type of arrangements made. And so on. It was at such a tempo they did not get a chance to reply. And it was only when he stopped they got a chance to explain how they got enrolled into the show. They divulged to him the small window of time they had to prepare costumes and collect their bearing, which hadn't left them any room to consult any of the existing scripts. Something that the organizers of the show had been fully aware of, and hadn't even expected them to. Which had only left them with one choice.
The man looked so shell-shocked, as he closed his mouth, he stuttered a bit when he eventually inquired with disbelief.
"So … Full Improvisation?"
Sheepish, proud smiles still broke through as they confirmed it.
"The whole thing? From the first line to the landing in the nets?"
Both Kyoko and Ren gave a small nod again.
A nervous chuckle broke into the man.
"Ha…hahaha…hahahaha…"He slipped his hand in his short brush-cut hair, "I'll be damned."
"Can I ask since when do you know each other … to be able of such impro?"
"A while."Kyoko said with a smile.
"We are really good friends."Added Ren, grinning too.
The man named Kane snickered, eyes glittering with planning of unknown nature.
"Well, I have a proposition for you two."He said, and then, what Ren had probably already scented for a while, started to make its guess to Kyoko, and surprise flooded her face, before he could even speak the words.
"I'd like to recruit both of you for my future show."He announced, confirming her suspicions.
He waved a hand in the direction of the ship, as he continued. "The Castle's boss who is also my friend proposed I come to have a peek at their new pirate's event, because he knew my show will be focused on pirates, amongst other things, and he knew I was desperate after more than my pounds of auditions."
"He thought I might get lucky and find someone that could fill the tough shoes of the actors I was looking for," he explained, "and since the theme matched … it was too silly to pass up."
He grinned at them as he paused.
"I never expected to fall on pros on vacation, however."He added. "Let alone two golden swans."
Kyoko laughed uneasily, feeling a bit like prey with the way he was ogling them like a starved man.
"The characters I'd like you to play would be the two leads of a TV show, and the first shoots would start next year, between the beginning of spring and the end of it, if you were to accept."He finished.
Kyoko cleared her throat.
"Hmm … you certainly know we would have to consult our schedules, have the scripts first?" And see proper contracts, she thought. Not that she suspected the man to be a fake, but she knew him neither from Eve nor Adam, so.
"You would have to go through our agencies with the proposition and provide a contract before we can decide to accept or not, either." Ren added.
"Of course, obviously." The man said. "I know I must look extremely shady, right now. My apologies, I do have a card, though."And he pulled out a business card with his name, and listed under his profession, a movie and show's director was written.
Kyoko felt her shoulders relax, glad to have some sort of confirmation on his identity. Not that it was a full proof, obviously. But now, a quick search online and with their agencies would do the rest of the taff.
"We would still need to know the specifics of the roles you'd like us to do."Ren said, though he too appeared to be less tense. "And even so, though I can't speak for Kyoko, I cannot promise in advance that it will be possible to fit in my schedule, even if I ended up truly interested."
The director agreed instantly, and gave a sharp smile of understanding, though he looked a bit anxious, even as his words lacked what Kyoko could see on his face when he replied.
"The minute I have your agreement to, at least, consider my proposition seriously, and that I have your mail addresses, you will get resumes of the scenario, and sample of the scripts already worked on, for the characters you would be playing."He said.
But then, he lifted his finger, stopping their future questions.
"I do have one condition," the director warned and Kyoko who thought he appeared to be mostly willing to agree to anything they'd ask the moment they would accept or at least examine his offer, was surprised he would even condition something, no matter how reasonable what he was about to say might be.
"I know a winning team when I see one." He commented, pointing at them. "So, it would be both of you as the leads, or none of you."
Thinking, she knew without a doubt she would love to act with Ren again, and the idea they would play pirates was already plenty of fun on its own, even putting the incentive of acting alongside Ren away. Though, as she hadn't worked under this director before, she had no idea if his story would stand the distance of being a show, or if the script were any good. But notwithstanding those clauses, or with a positive confirmation on those sides, she would probably like to take part in such project a lot.
She glanced at Ren, arching a brow his way when she found him already staring at her. She was unsure he would share her opinion, however. He was quite busy already, and she ignored how open his schedule would be for next year. Though, there was always more lenience put from one year to another, to leave rooms for those sorts of cases, especially, and the impromptu addition of projects. Not that she was not busy usually. But she had her own agenda memorized enough to know there would be room for it. More than enough, even. Because she hadn't wanted to overcharge the following year already until she'd have decided between several propositions thrown at her.
But while there was filming part to consider, for this sort of story, and a show on top of that… She was pretty sure there might be some form of training necessary before more than just the occasional scene.
At least, she could not imagine a convincing pirate show that did not include a good deal of stunts. And the actors could always bow down out of it if they wanted, or needed to. But she also knew it would hurt their prides as pros too much, to do so. If they were to get into such a project, they would decide to execute most stunts, if not all. She knew she would at least. And Ren was the same as her for that, if not worse. It was him, after all, that had given her the virus of going that far, so it should have been expected, she thought, smiling internally.
But, while this choice might be giving better results for the show, such as not being able to use stuntmen and acrobatic pros, there would be inconveniences too. Meaning that, if the actors were the ones doing their stunts, they would be paid more, but they would also need to be more present. Which meant more time dedicated for that lone project, rather for others, or simply spread.
Something that any actor needed to take into consideration before accepting a role in a big show already. So, she would have understood if Ren had been reluctant to accept.
She shrugged under his inquisitive gaze, knowing he was letting her give a first impression.
"Prerequisite the script is good, I might become rather interested." She admitted with a smile, and saying that more in Ren's direction than the director. Even with the training it might require, she thought.
He kept a neutral face as he nodded at her, and shifted back his attention to the man facing them.
"You said it would be a show, if it goes well, how long would it be?"He asked him.
The director smiled at them.
"I truly appreciate how careful and professional you both are, even as it might undermine my ability to convince you both," he said, sidetracking Ren's question, before eventually replying. "The end of the show is not fixed in time or quantity yet."
Under their frown, he continued.
"We would start with one season, obviously. But continuing would fully depend on how well it would go for the first one."
He stopped them before they could question how he saw the ending in the case it didn't do so well.
"We would make a good enough wrap-up of the first season that it would remain satisfying for the viewers, was it to be the only one that would exist."
At least, he had already foreseen all scenarios, Kyoko rather liked when they planned like that. It avoided too much disappointment and frustration for the fans if it didn't work out, and actors knew how things would turn out – to a certain level – from the start.
"Are you planning a patched-up ending in that sort of scenario?"Ren asked, not munching his words.
The man shook his head.
"I'd like the show to develop into several seasons, and I have enough ideas for all of that," he said, "but I don't plan on doing anything half-assed."
"That is why the season one will not be a short one, to permit developing things correctly, but it will be cut into two parts. So, that if first part doesn't do so well, we do a wrap-up as a one-season story, and that's it. And it does well, we set up things for a second season."
Kyoko crossed her arms, pondering. That would make things tricky. And a lot more work. It couldn't be done just like that. Not if he truly planned to develop the story as he had said, and not do any half-bake scenario. Meaning, there would be two scripts at least for a part of the season, if not all of it. Which meant more money involved doing so.
She truly had to do her little research on the man once she had the time. She doubted a nobody could have allowed so much unknown and fluctuating parts just like that.
"That means a double script for the second part of the season, right?" she said, opting out from saying her suspicion over it being more than that.
"Or the change would only take place around the last few episodes?"Ren questioned, and again the director shook his head.
"No. Too many elements will be involved with one another, to only modify the last couple episodes in case we have to book it with season one. There will be two scripts, maybe even more, and maybe from the start of the season." He pointed at them. "I already have a couple of episodes scripted for both parts, but it will depend on how it will look once I have you seen interpret the characters."
"The performance I have just seen have fired my imagination, and I already have in mind a few modifications, but you were not the characters I have in mind, so many could still change until I have seen you test them out."
Hmm … he did seem prepared and quite professional so far, which was a very good sign. But all would depend on the script, really. And if Ren was in too.
"How do they differ? Can you tell us a little bit more about what type of roles we would play?"Ren asked, and she concurred. The script would be great to read soon enough. But having the words of the man that had imagined them forefront would already be a good indication.
"First off, it is pirates leaning on fantasy, so it would be heavily magic-involved," and Ren snorted, bringing out his first real smile since the man had pulled them apart, and she rolled her eyes.
"What?" the director asked.
"Nothing. You have all our attention, "Ren said lightly, dismissing his reaction.
The man narrowed his eyes at him, suspicious.
"If you don't like magic…"
Ren chuckled.
"On the contrary. I'm quite fond of it, and this one loved it even more," Ren said, throwing a thumb her way.
She elbowed him, and he rubbed the spot, but added to the director that had started to smile.
"We wouldn't be here, otherwise."
"Oh, shush."She grumbled, blushing at him outing her like that.
"I see. Very good then."Kane said, grinning, before resuming on replying Ren's earlier question.
"It would be on the adventure vibe but while there would be some sombre elements, it would not be bloody. Or gross. Not the Jack's Sparrow vibe."
They took mental notes of his words, and he continued.
"You would not start as adversaries either, but rather as comrades of fight against a darker force. And last but not the least, it would be romance heavy."He finished.
They nodded … again. Slower, though.
Inside, the panic that was attempting to seize her at what it would require of her to hide, to do, to feel … threatened to make her hyperventilate for a second, before she roughly pushed it back in a corner of her mind to be examined at a later date. Once she would have the time for a meltdown. Once it would not risk ruining everything.
On the surface, she looked just as calmed as anybody, as Ren finally gave his response.
"From the get-go, I was interested, but I wanted to be sure and had a little more information, but … as for Kyoko, so long as the script is good and my schedule permits it, I'm in too."
The face of the director was ecstatic as he heard him, he was positively glowing with excitement.
Great. Fantastic. Next year will bring my doom, she thought, realizing what she had just accepted – even with the amount of fun it would certainly bring her too – , then a puzzling element came back to her mind, and she turned back to the jumping up-and-down, up-and-down director.
"I have one last question, though… Such freedom is rarely given by studios," she commented, "do you know already which one will– "
"Ah."He said, trying to calm down without really succeeding. "Yes, of course. Things would have been much trickier otherwise."Kane director said, and they were shocked to hear his response when he finally shared with a smile.
"Netflix is the one financing it, that is why we have flexibility in copious amounts."
"And why it is so easy to cut the season into two parts,"Ren added.
The director nodded, smiling.
Well, damn. What she thought could be a good opportunity had just shifted to the bomb diamond kind. For the both of them.
"I didn't want to share that bits of information before seeing if you could be interested in the roles themselves. I'd rather not hire actors here just for the money, you see."
"And that is also why I was so excited when I saw the both of you. I could see you truly enjoyed acting this out, just back then on the ship. You were having fun." He affirmed like he needed confirmation. "The time of your life even."
"Of course."They both said all naturally, making the man expression glow even more with promises.
"So, we are good?"
"Withstanding good scripts and contracts…"Kyoko reminded him.
"And our schedules permitting…"Ren added too.
"Then yes."The two of them confirmed once more.
Afterwards, it went quickly. Asking for their mail, he bid them goodbye right after, thanking them for their time and for considering his proposition seriously, leaving after announcing he had work to do and to look forward to, now.
§§§
Still a bit stunned by what had just happened, they went to the photo-booth in a blur, and Ren insisted to both let the machine get individual pictures of them in their costumes, but also together. So that they could keep a set of the ones focusing on the costumes, and a few as memento of their day together. Kyoko didn't really understand his reasoning for both being necessary but she was happy they did so. And seeing them both cladded in pirate costumes, leaning against each other in the cramped cabin, and smiling was worth every penny spent. Especially if she got to keep some of the pictures.
She didn't even fuss when he pecked her cheek just before the last flash happened, and they shared the whole of them into two fair sets.
§§§
They fetched back their stuff soon after, and changed back into her regular clothes for her – there was not much to change for Ren – , before walking out of the creek, and wandering to the food and goodies stands.
She insisted on them eating a little something, and made good use of her promise to buy him a drink once they had settled down, succeeding into forbidding him to pay, and paying when they eventually left.
Time passing, the middle of the afternoon had come, light already hitting differently against this castle of blue glass as they wandered, visiting forgotten spots during their first go. They borrowed more stairs, and crossed paths with more characters, twirling for them or singing their song for them, if they had one.
She was having fun, spending so much time with him in a world she adored. Blue kaleidoscope of sparkles reflected on every face they passed. On his too, and in the quietening halls, surreal prevailed. He was the noble figure of ethereal beauty escorting her lone steps, another fictional fairy tale man escaped from a book in this place. But he was the most real of all. The sparkles of blue highlighting only further, what was beyond the surface of the handsome face. His kindness and passion in life. The joy and innocence he was capable of, kept so closely hidden most times. His irrepressible bouts of teasing.
A fairy of light she wanted nothing more but to capture into forever…
Then…
For each time their gazes crossed, he would smile at her. A carefree heavenly smile that displayed nothing but affection and joy. And her heart would soar.
Time after time.
They visited more places, more hidden rooms, tumbling into concealed corridors, and areas rarely visited.
And it was during one those instances, after strolling into another side hall decorated with portraits of the past, that the fairy tale began to shatter. But unaware, she just progressed further the hall. Faded paintings that contained the echoes of older Disneys. Of dusty princesses you could still make out. Familiar famous figures that had opened the curtain for the new generation in this glass castle.
Red hair and ebony ones. Brown ones. Light-blond and endless golden ones. Pink, blue, yellow, white, green, purple dresses.
And that was how peering at every faint pictured encased in the glass walls, they stumbled into a ballroom. Large wall-to-wall stairs dove down to a gigantic dance floor filled with mosaic drawings of tiles, and tall windows going on each length of the walls. Like brushes of glass, giving numbness length to the ballroom.
And in the centre of it all, someone was waiting.
A young woman, donning a gauze light-lilac dress flowing like a wave at her every move, pivoted in their direction, standing from her former crouch.
With that, a recognizable song began, as she lifted stretched fingers their way, and suddenly Kyoko knew. Newly welcomed to Disney's clan, Anastasia princess stood in their ballroom in front of them.
They walked down the steps slowly, admiring the ballroom as they did, as Once Upon a December continued to play in the background.
The princess stepped to them, smiling, and greeting them. She waited them to return the hello, then paused, and grinning, she made a large wave of the hand around her, nearly tracing a 360° circle around herself as she designated the ballroom.
"The ballroom is yours if you want to." She said, her eyes going back to them softly.
"Do the young couple would like a spin into the music?"
"Ah."Kyoko said, and all of sudden everything that had happened with Julie … with his mother … between them recently … and with Ren's ex-girlfriend … it all rushed back into the forefront of her mind, like a roaring hurricane, eager to rip her apart in shards of cutting pain. Reminding her of her own unsuitability, of her inadequacy to ever be … by his side… And next instant, she was bubbling out with an easy wave of the hand, "Oh no, we are not a couple. He would never see me this way. We are only friends." And a light stressed chuckle finished her air words, hoping she had not been too heavy or random with her words.
…
…
She knew something was … very wrong, the instant that followed, when only an absence of sound followed. A cold void that got tauter and tauter the further it stretched.
A sombre atmosphere sorrowing its veil … that suffocated her. Tense and unmoving … trickling something into emptiness. A decaying beat of – … something unknown. The dagger-ing sensation of foulness in her heart, on her tongue.
"Please do not put words I never said into my mouth!"Rang his voice in the ballroom, like harsh bang of exploding glass, making her wonder why her heart would perceive it as such, even when her ears recognized other variations and sonority.
"That is not–."She mumbled, turning on her heels to face him.
But it was too late.
He was already gone.
The room empty of anything and everything, besides the faint evaporating scent of his, attestation of his presence not so long ago … and a lonely princess at her back, standing forgotten.
Her feet moved before she could form the thought, and her scent joined the wisps of his, twirling together in harmony, as her shape escaped the ballroom, speeding.
The remaining princess sighed heavily.
"And another pair of them leaves worse than they'd come."
She went to her cabinet, pulling out a homemade thermos of Sbiten*, and poured herself a drink. She perfectly knew it was not the right season for hot drinks like this, but she needed the comfort. She was about to take a first sip but put back the drink, and pulled out a small squared bottle, adding a finger of the contents inside her drink. On the squared bottle, vodka could be read in faded thick letters.
She pulled out her phone and made the call.
"I think the room is not hard enough to find, yet."She grumbled into it. "They'd better make it even trickier … once more."
Her interlocutor said something, and she snapped.
"Yes, I know it is the fifth time!"
"What do you want me to say?! They didn't even get to dance before it went downhill this time!"
Resigned words eventually came again, and she disconnected the call.
"Damn curse ballroom."She hissed through her lips, and gulped down her beverage in one go. The drink clang against the wood of the cabinet when she dropped it down, and she poured herself another.
§§§
Running … dashing, she sprinted through every room, every spot, every area they had visited, even some they hadn't.
She searched everywhere, sought him out every single time, her sight getting more panicked, with each area without discovering him.
Why he had snapped so much was still incomprehensible for her. But it was of little importance right now. She could always ask him that later.
She just needed one thing.
To find him.
Her feet clang into fast ringing steps everywhere she passed. The creek, the greenhouse, the cauldron tower…
… nothing.
He was nowhere to be found.
Eventually she reached the arched passageway they had gone through at the beginning of the day, and saw the bridge leading out and off the castle … to the exit.
Vanquished by the lack of clues on his whereabouts and his refusal to respond to her calls, she decided to exit the premises, hoping to wait on the parking, maybe.
She should not have been surprised when just out of the building and under the slow-setting sun, she found him. His back turned to her, his hands were leaning against the top of the car, crushing the top edges of the vehicle rather. She approached softly.
She knew he had heard her when he spoke.
§§§
He had left.
He hadn't even been aware he was outside the structure until wind had hit him, as he had reached the car.
Instinctively he had wanted to put a maximum distance between them.
A battle was brawling inside, threatening to drown any remaining reasoning to smithereens.
The wound that was pulsing like an infected member throbbed way harder than any friction burn could ever.
He knew. He was perfectly aware.
He had overreacted. It was not the first time she corrected people when they assumed that – …
He knew. And his mind kept telling him that. In circles, in hope it would remove the venom out of an old pain, just made thirty times worse today.
He was aware.
It was no different from other times for her.
He knew.
But.
On the other side of the fence, his heart was growling its furious agonizing protests.
After all the moments spent together recently… After all those times he had felt like she was letting him closing in … after living under her roof… After meeting his parents… After all those times she had included him in her life…
After not saying anything, at times, when others misunderstood as well! Why now?!
After every single time she had understood him so well…
After all these moments…
After all those little touches.
From her.
Accepted from him.
After his discussion with his dad…
After everything.
After everything.
He had begun to hope. No, he had been convinced he was slowly ending the distance, that he was truthfully making a dent in her armour. That he had finally succeeded, if only partially, into making it to the ambiguous line enough she would know, even only to a subconscious level, that he did not see her as friends only.
And he had been so wrong.
It was the way she said it. Nearly too easily … Soo – … airily dismissing it… As if it would never be a possibility. As if it would be … plain absurd … the biggest absurdity of the century … to even consider … that they could be – … in any different kind of dynamic than friends. His body shook just from thinking the words.
So wrong.
So lightly said.
Like nothing. It had mostly burned to ashes any hope he ever had had to change things.
In a winking laughable instant.
Disappeared.
Vanished.
Destroyed.
He shuddered. He kept reminding himself it had not been any different for her … that nothing had changed … for her.
But that was exactly all that was wrong with it.
Thus mind and heart fought to bring back quietness in him – failing serenity or anything better, obviously – , advancing the very same arguments, and both collapsing each time.
He felt robbed of something he never even had the chance to really get, but was also bitterly reminded of how delusional he had been. The sourness swelling, yet, not even enough to cauterize the pain thorning him out viciously.
He did not even know how to pull himself together, let alone face her, but life did not give him a choice, and he knew to a cellular level, as always, when she was there. The graceful sounds of her steps, just a couple metres away, indicating when she stopped.
He was unable to help himself then.
"Did you have to say it like that?"He demanded harshly, not turning to her. Unable to. "I know the idea is – … rebuffing to you, but– "
"That's not it. That's not it at all."She replied. "I just thought that it was not right to let her misunderstand. Or that you could be upset, maybe."
He couldn't help the bitter snicker.
"On what basis?"He let out, feeling crestfallen she still thought that. "Is it that bad for you … that people would think that?"
She did not reply.
"I thought the comment was rather flattering myself."He murmured so softly he wasn't sure she had caught it, nor that he wanted her to have heard it.
"I'm sorry."She whispered.
She cannot understand, he thought.
He closed his eyes, trying to shut out the world and the pain away.
She never will.
Because the idea of anything else is too unimaginable for her. And forever will.
She never will.
"I'm sorry."She said again. "I didn't mean to be vexing."
It was so much worse than that.
She never will.
"I'm sorry." She said again, and the concern and hurt he heard in her voice made him sigh. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Ren. I'm truly sorry."
I know, mon ange. (**)
He could feel her inspiration, and knew she was about to apologize again, and he couldn't bear it. His pain was not her fault. She might be the cause, but she was not the one to blame. He was. He knew. He could not handle another apology from her. He closed his eyes, wishing his pain away with his best abilities … just one last time and turned around.
He gave her a grimacing smile.
"It was downright vexing, you know."
She looked at him with perplexity – puzzled with his light comment and the obvious misalignment with his former reaction – , and he could see he was not fooling her, not fully, that she could see he was pretending.
She lifted a tentative hand, and grabbed his unharmed hand, pools of gold looking at him with worry and pain. It was killing him. But he could not let himself be strayed from the truth. Those touches meant nothing to her. She was just being a sincere friend.
He gave her another smile, but she just tightened her hold on his hand, clearly he was failing at hiding his hurt. He was going to give her a better excuse than that.
His lips shook and pain intensified at the idea of lying, but … he did not see another way.
A half-truth would have to do, he thought.
"Even on our worst days, I would not have identified us as just friends, you know."He grumbled, and he let a tiny, tiny bit of the real hurt he felt … shined through.
She looked at him with confusion, twisting the knife inside him.
"You are the closest person to me, Kyoko," he admitted, hoping against hope … anything, something would change, even with how much he now knew it would never. "I would never designate that as 'only friends', you know."He said, and even if understanding flooded her eyes, it tasted bitter all the way down his stomach. Acidic. "Even best friends seem inadequate sometimes."He added, as the fool he was. It was a very lame excuse for the display he had had earlier, but she gobbled it down without issue, settling things even further in the new light of thoughts he had just come to.
She never will.
She wrapped her fingers around his, sending shudders of delight the length of his arm, and he wished for once his body would be immune from her gravity.
"It was just a way of speaking … on the blur of the moment," she said, "You could never be just any friend. Come on, you know that, Ren." She chided, and even the trickle of water that poured with the knowledge he was ever so special for her did not help this time.
"I know. I'm sorry too, for overreacting," and all naturally, he added without thinking, "I guess I'm more tired than I thought…"
She never will.
He let go of her hand, using the fake excuse of feeling embarrassed for his blunder to put distance between them. He could not bear to be confused. Could not bear the joy of her touch. The elixir it brought. It was a luxury that would be very costing later. He had to step back, if only a little.
She smiled, all good naturally, though he could see a little guilt seeping in her eyes.
"I think we should go home," she said, "I really put you under stress earlier, and it certainly took a toll on you."
She made a vague wave up with her chin, showing the noble curve of her neck to him for a second, and the longing to pepper it with kisses surged before he stamped on it. "Evening is falling anyway. We can call it a night, no?"
Shame and guilt doused him, frustration at himself growing. He had organized the whole day for her, to enjoy this place, and he didn't want to short it or ruin the day in any fashion for her.
She never will.
Yet.
Yet, he couldn't find it in him to stay any longer. He loved the day and the time spent with her too much for it to be bearable to remain further, in his state of mind. He just didn't have the resistance. Not now … not now. Not anymore.
He smiled sadly.
"I'm sorry for shortening things." Admitting defeat.
She shook her head.
"Don't be silly. This whole day would never have taken place in the first place if you hadn't brought me here."
She shot him an affectionate grin that nearly ended him.
"I had a lot of fun with you, I would not trade it for anything, truly, Ren," she said. "Thank you."
Then, she shot forward, surprising him with a tight hug.
"Please don't let yourself be too affected when I'm clumsy or awkward with words, silly."
And then, as if he wasn't already to his knees, she added.
"You know I adore you."
He crushed her to him, willing the time to stop as he held her soft shape in his arms, and framed her words in his heart. Saving them to soothe the future pain to come.
Then he let go.
And placing the bag containing their costumes, they hopped in the car and drove back to the Hizuri residence.
§§§
Kuu knew instantly something was awfully wrong when the kids came back from the trip. Oh, on the forefront they looked alright.
But he could see the haunted eyes of his son, unable to tuck it away, hide it, when Kyoko was not looking his way as they made their way back to the house.
He looked beaten. Defeated.
And the minute Kyoko was gone to put their stuff away, he grabbed his son's shoulders, and dragged him to a corner.
"Let's go out somewhere tonight, Son." He proposed brightly, knowing he needed the reprieve. "Just the two of us."
And his son looked back at him, staring at his father and the lifebuoy his idea was, with only gratefulness in the eyes.
They left one hour later.
tic, tic-tic, tic-tack-tic-tack-tic-tack, the clock made rushing further.
*Sbiten: One of the most popular hot beverages in Russia to warm yourself up, before the apparition of tea. It is a beverage made of honey and spices. But can be added ginger, cinnamon, cloves, mint, daisies or lemon. Pour a little wine into it, and you will obtain the true hot wine, Russian version.
**Mon ange: My angel in French.
PS: So, the time has come after all.
Enjoy this chapter. I hope you are all happy and bubbly and healthy.
Run away cackling like a mad witch.
Kisses to you all.
Mimagfan,
AUTHOR OUT.
