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From Darkness to

Light

By Amy Lee Belle

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TO LIFE IN ALL ITS FORMS…

Copyright 2018 by Amy Lee Belle

Cover by Délilah Martin: /

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"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our

deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us

(…) And as we let our own light shine, we

unconsciously give other people permission to do the

same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our

presence automatically liberates others."

Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections

on the Principles of "a Course in Miracles"

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PART 1

"In the beginning was the logos."

Gospel of John

2957'05.0"N 9004'18.9"W

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CHAPTER 1 –

Pitch Dark

Of all the places I had been to, New Orleans was

certainly the closest, the most similar to my human

nature. Shy, full of light and darkness, still standing,

even after hurricanes and storms had ripped her heart

out, not allowing herself to show how difficult it had

been to recover from the worst of nightmares.

My first months on the New Continent had

been colored by interesting meetings and unusual

places. I didn't exactly know why I had chosen the

south after visiting New York, but one thing was

certain, I wasn't disappointed. After several days in

Alabama and having discovered the birthplace of

equality, I was now discovering Louisiana.

And a benefit from sightseeing was that at least I

could pretend I was a normal tourist, whose parents

were waiting for her at their hotel if anyone asked, I

thought as I was eating corn bread at the Oak Alley

plantation house restaurant.

This huge mansion, its imposing Victorian

architecture and the vast grounds surrounding it

didn't fail to let out whispers of what slavery life had

been, living in the minuscule stalls, serving cruel

masters who would let them die without any remorse

nor regret.

6

Truth was that I had always felt out of place,

like the families who had been brought here to work

the land.

Certainly after the accident, my friends'

attitude had shifted and I hadn't even wanted to

belong anymore. But it wasn't like they had even

tried. I knew I could be introvert, but I had had to

become strong after everything that had happened. I

thought they had misunderstood my reaction for

pride. Death, distress... all made people extremely

uncomfortable. I guessed they had done what they

could do best: they had pretended it hadn't been

there, I hadn't been there... But my life in Europe had

been nothing compared to the absolute nightmare

slaves had had to wake up from.

How can we treat each other like this?

Europe had had its history of hatred too, I just

couldn't grasp what the motives had been to justify

such abject violence and horror. Maybe it was human

nature? Maybe it was the animality inside of us that

drove us to extremes? But honestly, even animals

didn't seem so wildly cruel towards each other, even

they had a sense of protection towards their kind. Or

maybe that was it: we didn't recognize different

people as our own.

I had always found injustice repulsive and

worth fighting against and here was another proof of

our world greatest gangrene I concluded, leaving the

immense plantation ground to go back to my rented

flashy red car and trying to convince myself to stop

torturing my mind, switching off the unstoppable

emotions irradiating from me.

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I was wandering in Bourbon Street after a week of

sightseeing, further discovering the old south, its

ancient taste for tobacco, cotton, hundred-year-old

oak tree paths, sugar canes and ... music.

The light of dusk was illuminating the strange

architecture of Victorian houses, fortune tellers were

already trying to make up for the slow start of the

high season, invading Jackson square with their dark

tarot cards or crystal balls on lace tablecloth, calling

to us – strangers – for redemption.

Myths and legends were like viruses here,

they would evolve, reach every layer of the

population and then move on to another secluded

location.

The humid warmth was almost too much for

my European tan but I was convincing myself that

my journey here would represent everything I had

ever wanted; a fresh start to this new, lonely chapter

of my life – a present to celebrate graduation that had

become the easy way out.

Jazz slowly started filling the intoxicating air

of the French quarter, appealing to visitors and

natives alike. I was no exception. I had never been a

big fan of jazz music… before.

Its sadness, deep cry moved every part of who I was

now, plunging me back into the devastating months

prior to my arrival. My heart was still bleeding and it

required every power I had left to block the painful

images I had kept and taken with me.

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However, the reflection I saw in the shop

window opposite the square had surprised me:

elongated, long brown haired, brown eyed, with a red

sleeveless shirt, a pair of jeans and plastic flip flops.

It was showing a regular seventeen-year-old teenager

who had outgrown her clothing style. The perfect

nobody who could fade away in this scenery.

I was slowly regaining some complexion and

the weight I had lost these past months though –

certainly due to my extreme taste for Louisiana

jambalaya. The image reflected by the glass was

almost familiar again even if the road to being me

was still long and full of ambush. But did I really

want to be myself again?

A jet-black haired boy took me out of my

reverie by grasping my hand and pulling me, leading

me I didn't know where. He had to be six, was

wearing ripped muddy shorts and a shirt whose color

was uncertain because of the dust.

"Come, come" he was repeating, pulling me

even more strongly.

"Wait! Where are you taking me?" I was

laughing and surprised by his strength but didn't

change my mind as to stay where I was. "Where is

your mother?" I asked, looking around, concerned for

his safety.

But when he saw that I wouldn't move, he

took my camera and made a run for it.

I couldn't lose that camera – my posthumous

Christmas present, and after all that had happened, it

was the only link I had with my past – aside from my

memories.

9

I started running after him.

The boy was still in Decatur when I saw him turn

left. I followed him around the corner and saw him

stop in front of a lady.

She was standing on the steps of the half-open

green door of another Victorian house, five feet away

from me, crossing her arms.

She was tall with long braided hair, as black

as the boy's, and had big dark eyes. She was wearing

a white dress with red spots and a black apron – very

trendy in the sixties. She almost looked like coming

from another era, where women were behind the

stove while their husbands were working.

When he faced her, looking at her intently,

she took the camera from his hands and examined it

curiously.

She then saw me round the corner – bent over

to catch my breath – she looked back at him with a

puzzled face. They started talking and the boy went

inside the house.

"I'm so sorry…" the lady said approaching

me with the camera still in her left hand. "My

nephew told me he had seen you alone in Burbon

street, he was worried about you..."

"I… I just want the camera back." I replied,

not knowing what she had meant.

"Sure, sure, here it is, sugar" she continued

handing me the precious object. "But please, let me

offer you something to drink, come with me" she

offered.

"Don't worry, I won't press charges, I...

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I don't want to bother you…" I insisted.

"It's no bother, I'll be delighted to have some

company…"

No one was waiting for me, I remembered,

and against all odds, I accepted her offer and

followed her inside what I presumed was her house.

Everything was tastefully furnished, the wooden

floors gave their counterparts an almost Venetian

style in the hall, with drapes and beautifully covered

sofas in the living room. The little boy had found his

place on one of them when we entered.

"Anton, please meet..." she started.

"Madeleine. My name is Madeleine." I

finished her sentence.

Anton immediately came to stand up in front

of me, and hugged me, without uttering a single

word.

"I…" But he was already leaving the room

without leaving me the time to say anything else.

"Please sit down…" my hostess offered,

showing me a seat on the light blue sofa on my left.

"Thank you…" I answered politely.

"My name is Lynn. Welcome to my home.

But let me fetch some refreshments first."

"Please, don't bother. I'm fine. Really." I said

to the empty room, Lynn already in the kitchen.

I suddenly didn't remember why I had agreed to

come here, it felt awkward sitting in a stranger's

living room, even a friendly one.

She sat down in front of me and poured a

lemonade in a yellow glass. "So what brings you

here?" she started, almost mysteriously now.

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"I'm taking some time off…" I answered, not

willing to reveal too much of my life.

"I come from one of the oldest families in

New Orleans. It's not every day that we see a young

girl traveling alone."

"I…" I was looking at my feet now, not

knowing what to answer. I let her go on, she had her

eyes closed this time.

"I can tell that you are strong and

independent. You are smart, resourceful and reliable

but you don't expect life to treat you fairly and you

are always ready for the worst. There is a lot of

sadness in you too…" she went on "I see you've had

your share of suffering since your birth."

How does she know all this?

After five seconds, she added "I see snow. A

lot of snow."

My blood was just made run cold because I

knew what she was going to say next. I was feeling

threatened and terribly ill-at-ease.

"You lost them. It was winter. It is still

haunting you. You don't know how to live without

them. But know this, they're resting in the Light and

they're very proud of you no matter what you

decide."

"No matter what I decide? I don't

understand."

She went on as if she hadn't heard me. "You

will soon have to make a choice. That choice will

influence you and all of us."

What was she talking about? It didn't make

any sense…I wished I hadn't accepted her offer…

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Lynn then opened her eyes and said "I'm

sorry I can't tell you more."

"Thanks?" I said hesitantly. I stood up and

added, still embarrassed "But it's getting late, and I

need to go. I'm sorry".

I turned around and was ready to leave the

living room when she added "Trust your heart, the

Light is within you and all of us." And with this, I

hurried down the street, finding my way back into the

French Quarter.

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CHAPTER 2 –

Heavy Shading

The café round the corner known as Tonique had

become my favorite chilling area.

But unlike other evenings, the atmosphere

was charged with an almost palpable electricity, so

strong it was almost crushing my lungs. Or was it the

heat or the strange encounter I had had?

I entered.

I had grown fond of red after spending three

days here, or for better words, nights.

The only reminder of the Quarter's life had been the

Mardi Gras beads hanging everywhere, on walls, bars

even banisters.

The two-levelled café was inviting. The smell

of sweat, alcohol and smoke from the previous night

of festivities had never truly left the premises, leaving

a yellowish trace on the white entrance doors.

The light around me was dim and called for

introspection – in total contrast with a group of

freshmen who were celebrating at the bar, talking

animatedly about their future prospects and ambitions

around "hurricanes" – a sweet New Orleans

trademark.

I envied them.

Not their muscular, sculptural footballer bodies or the

voluptuous silhouette of their girlfriends, no.

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I couldn't care less about that.

This happy-go-lucky attitude; that was what was

missing in my life.

As I was heading for my usual spot in a

corner, I noticed a dark figure on my right.

I saw this man or rather I felt him watching me, his

brown eyes reading straight into me, into my soul. I

had never felt so exposed before.

As I was sitting down I could still feel his

eyes lingering on me.

I glanced back.

Looking more closely, his features were too

perfect, with his big brown eyes, his broad shoulders

and short hair.

Was it an army tag he was wearing? That

would explain a lot.

I was telling myself to stop staring.

Didn't these Americans know how to shop for

proper sizes or were these too short shirts the only

way they had to expose themselves?

Men….

Typical…

"What will it be for you tonight?" I was

startled by the waitress's voice.

"A strawberry shake, please." I asked her.

She smiled recognizing me. "Right away."

I opened my Routard travel guide to prepare

the next days' visits. Blaine Kern's Mardi Gras

World should be fun.

"There you go. Call me if you need anything

else." she said interrupting my reading.

"Thank you." I answered.

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"Can I buy you a drink?" asked the dark

stranger who had appeared in front of me.

How did he get so close so fast? He's even

more handsome close to… "No thanks, I'm all set." I

answered showing him my drink.

"I meant a proper drink…" He smiled. "Do

you mind if I sit down?" He was already facing me as

he hadn't waited for my answer. "My name is Jared."

I could feel my heartbeat accelerating as

adrenalin was rushing through my veins. I didn't

know if it was lust or a sense of danger. I considered

not answering but I couldn't let him see how I felt. I

didn't want to give him my real name. As I was

recalling what my parents used to call me, I opted for

this one: "Faith."

"Faith? You're not from here, are you? I don't

recognize your accent."

"Well, you could say that. You're very

perceptive." I added with sarcasm, when the waitress

brought two hurricanes, winking at me. Why not? I

thought and took a sip of my free drink.

"How come a European beauty like you

speaks English like that? First time in New Orleans?"

he inquired.

How does he know I am European? All these

questions were only confirming the uneasiness I had

sensed five minutes before. I wasn't used to all this

attention. "Yes…" was all I gave away.

"Do you like it so far?"

"I love it here…" As he seemed to be waiting

for more, I went on, speaking to hide my discomfort,

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"it's totally different from the other States I have

visited."

"Where else have you been?"

"I was in New York a couple of weeks ago

but I wanted some taste of the south as well. I visited

Alabama first. That was incredible. So many things

to see…"

"Well, there are plenty of things to do here as

well. Let me take you to this great bar, you'll see…"

"I…" Suddenly my head started spinning. My

body felt numb, my legs unable to move. I was

starting to feel heavy, the music around us slowly

fading away.

"Sweet dreams, beauty. We've been waiting

for you" said the brown-eyed stranger.

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PART 2

"Every nature, every modeled form,

every creature, exists in and with each

other. They will dissolve again into

their own proper root. For the nature of

matter is dissolved into what belongs to

its nature."

Gospel of Mary of Magdala

154'28.2"N 7321'19.3"E

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CHAPTER 1 –

Flickering Shadows

I could feel growing excitement at the prospect of my

feet touching the immaculate sand.

All these vivid colors, green, blue, white…

were invading my heart, swelling, incredible birds

were flocking above my head, chirping.

The air was so fresh and the water so pure that the

landscape took my breath away.

I was walking on the beach, the sun warming my

skin, my clothes and my whole being, grains of sand

tickling my toes.

I was now advancing towards the forest,

alone, smelling exotic and exquisite perfumes,

touching tree trunks, plants and admiring their

beautiful leaves, the virgin flora of this new Eden

when I suddenly saw her – mum – in the middle of

the forest, opening her arms, welcoming me.

The sun, high in the sky, was reflecting on her

silhouette and blond hair, blowing in the wind.

Mum? Warm tears were trickling down my

cheeks as I realized I was holding my mother, in my

arms.

Yes, child. I am with you, I have never left

you. And when the time comes, I will be there for you

too. I love you, always.

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She suddenly disappeared and my core constricted, at

the lost sight of her.

When I turn around, marching through the forest

again, trying to find her, I was stopped short by a

field of wild rose bushes, whose red petals I was now

touching seemed so fierce and strong.

Follow your heart and fulfil your destiny…I

heard my mother's voice echo through my mind.

My head was hurting so much. I felt heavy and

swollen. Should I try to open my eyes?

The pain was excruciating, just like the smell

– a mix of burning flesh, metal, bleach and blood.

Was I in a hospital?

I could hear a strange noise.

What was it…a drill?

Slowly I started to open my left eye.

The light was blinding and too strong to distinguish

anything.

Hands holding my skull, why?

My pulse started racing.

I heard a man yelling.

I passed out, again.

"You're stronger than I thought you would be, you

made it. Welcome to the team!"

I tried to open my eyes as I heard him talk.

You, monster. What had he done to me?

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My eyelids were so heavy. My mouth was so dry, my

head was spinning and so sore…What I saw was

blurry at first. But now I could see him, the guy from

the bar again, and next to him… the same guy? It

couldn't be.

"Leave her alone, J. You're not supposed to

be here. Let me handle it."

I could feel something sharp inside my right

arm and caught sight of tubes connected to a sort of

plastic bag. "W….a…..t…..er" I whispered.

"Not now. You need time to recover. Rest…"

the second J said again.

Unable to resist the urge of closing my eyes

again, I let go.

Deafening sound everywhere.

I could feel the floor vibrating.

An earthquake? Music?

An electric light was beaming.

I lay on the ground. That I was sure of; my back was

cold and my muscles were hurting.

My head. Ouch. What the fuck?

Touching my skull I didn't recall shaving one side of

it. I touched it again and felt a naked line just above

my right ear. I needed a mirror. Or maybe later. I

helped myself up with the bed next to me.

A sharp pain was radiating inside of me but was

distilled by a sort of dizziness.

Have I been drinking?

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I tried to walk but I found it difficult to make a step.

It felt like walking on sand.

What was I doing here anyway? How had I

got in this place? Was I daydreaming again?

I started looking around me. I was in a sort of

hospital room. The walls were white. No furniture

except a bed and no sound except this vibration

coming from the floor or is it all inside my head?

Control, do not panic, you're gonna get out of

here. I tried to find a door but saw no evidence of

any.

A feeling of dread and frustration was slowly

rising inside me and invaded all my body.

My hands and legs began to tremble, and I collapsed

on the floor.

I could feel tears stinging my eyes. But I

swallowed them. And I did so because I had

remembered. No one was waiting for me, no one

would alert the police in order to know my

whereabouts, no one.

If life is ruthless to you, be ruthless to life.

That is what I had learned these past months.

I needed to stand up, to move, for my legs had

started to feel numb because of the lack of

movement. So I did it, I stood up, for what purpose, I

didn't know but I hadn't been raised to stay passive

and now I had to count on myself and myself only.

I was standing there when someone caught me off

guard.

"Hey, are you okay?" A small woman in

white with charcoal hair coming from nowhere had

put her hand on my shoulder.

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As tried to remove it, surprised by her

gesture, I froze at her touch, receiving thousands and

thousands of pictures to process at the same time.

My eyes rolled upwards, the pain inside my

skull was unbearable.

When I saw her.

She was cleaning cuts and applying a salve, injecting

patients with antibiotics and taking care of them,

speaking nice words.

And suddenly I knew, I knew the precise

movements to perform all these nursing acts,

I knew you had to check your syringe wasn't

containing air bubbles before injecting anything into

your patient's arm to avoid embolism,

I knew you had to wash your hands to avoid MSA

infections, I knew how to remove stitches and when

to do it… I could go on and on about all the new

things I knew.

But I had never been to a nursing school, I had never

attended any lesson about injecting patients.

What was happening to me?

I screamed, my head was hurting again but I

didn't know if it was a cry of pain or fear – fear of the

unknown or of losing myself completely.

The deafening noise in my head was seemingly

drowning my scream but it was still repelling the

only person who had shown me kindness here.

"It's okay. Don't worry." said a musky voice

next to me. I turned around.

It was him. At that moment I couldn't

suppress my rage any longer, I wanted to slap him.

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He was responsible for what had happened to me, it

was the third time I saw him and all these memories

were strongly linked to pain. "You bastard!"

As my hand was almost touching his face, he

stopped me in mid-air, not looking surprised at all.

"I'm not who you think I am. Look more closely."

I didn't know what he meant by it but there

was something in his voice that made me want to

trust him. I started staring at him, examining every

tiny detail of his muscular body; his large hands, his

broad shoulders, his face. His hair looked longer than

it had the last time I saw him. Then it hit me, like an

arrow piercing my heart. It wasn't the guy from the

bar, even though they looked alike.

Jared, I thought was his name, had brown eyes and

short hair, exuding confidence and pride. This

handsome man in front of me had gentle blue eyes,

and a body too stunning not to be noticed but he

didn't seem to be aware of it.

"You're not ...J...him."

"No, I'm his brother, Kellan. Now, get a grip

on yourself and follow me."

"No way. I want answers, right now. What

have you done to me? What am I doing here?" I was

shouting.

"You have two options; first one, you go on

yelling and I'm out of here. Second one, you shut up

and do what I tell you to do!" he said matter-of-

factly.

"Gee, thanks. So much for options!"

What choice did I have? I was in the middle of

nowhere, with no one to turn to.

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The best I could do was following him, escaping as

soon as I could. Reluctantly, I yielded. "Alright. As

long as you promise not to knock me out again."

"I can't promise you that even if I agreed to

it."

"Why not?" My voice was now subtly

pleading.

"It is not up to me to decide."

So that was it, the evil twins weren't the brain

behind all of this. Whoever it was, they were going to

pay, I thought to myself. I didn't know how but a

door suddenly appeared on one of the walls and I

followed him having run out of other options.

After ten minutes, walking in silence through the

same landscape, an endless gray hall, and having had

my share of dark thoughts and headache, I decided to

break it "Where are we going?"

Silence.

Complete and utter silence. I was about to provoke a

reaction by yelling at him again when I froze to the

spot. This time I couldn't be mistaken, it was Jared,

sardonically smiling at me while advancing towards

us.

"It was about time, beauty. You almost kept

me waiting."

"Give her a break, J." Kellan said, then added

out of blue "No, the recordings were inconclusive."

Who was he talking to?

"I'm not sure it's a good idea. I wouldn't risk

it. It wouldn't be the first time we disagreed on

something, J."

25

What was that? An unsettling feeling was

growing inside me.

Jared stopped in front of me, then he added

"See you, beauty."

"N..." was the only sound I could form before

being stung by something in my neck. Everything

turned dark and night swallowed me again.

I felt a pinch on my left arm, then nothing.

No noise; frightening silence and tormenting

darkness. I could hear the comforting beating of my

heart now.

Where was I? I opened my eyes, trying to get

used to my new environment. My pulse started racing

as my body recalled the scent of blood and metal. All

my senses were in alert now.

Fear. Simple, deep fear engulfing my whole

being and crushing everything on its way. I

recognized the feeling.

The room I was in seemed square and

uninviting. The walls were bright white with a

metallic table in the middle. Next to my bed, there

was a gray trolley full of surgery tools.

And next to the trolley, Kellan, with his now familiar

blue eyes.

I was sore, everywhere. My arms were

stretched.

I tried to move them but they were attached to

the bed, I couldn't feel my wrists nor my hands any

longer.

26

Why restraining me? I wasn't the criminal

here, they were. I promised myself not to give way to

panic and refrained my tears of rage.

"The more you try to resist, the more they

will cut your wrists. We needed to restrain you, we

didn't want to find you on the floor like last time." he

said, holding a syringe.

We? Who does he mean?

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you."

Easier said than done. Trying to gain my trust

was too late. "What am I doing here?" Make him

talk…I thought.

"You're at the facility, as we call it."

"Which day is it? How long was I out?" He

approached slowly and looked at me intensely.

Is he trying to say anything? His fierce and

hungry eyes were still concentrated on me, and trying

to avoid his stare, I noticed a red dot in the upper left

corner of the room.

He was now rearranging the trolley, putting

the needle into a flashy yellow bin and removing is

blue gloves.

"Untie me, now!" I demanded.

He was still not responding, when I heard

footsteps. They belonged to more than one person.

All confidently, almost angrily, walking towards me.

A hidden door automatically opened on my

left, was there an opening mechanism on the other

side?

I tried to catch a glimpse at what I thought

was a passage but the contrast between this passage

and the room I was being kept in was too stark to

27

distinguish anything. I even didn't know if it was day

or night. I had fed on adrenalin for the past ... what?

Days? Weeks?

A woman in her fifties all dressed in a black

suit and high heels entered, escorted by two of her

bodyguards.

At her side I immediately recognized Jared.

He was still smiling his cynical smile, wearing the

same kind of outfit he had when I had first met him,

showing off his perfect body with his even tighter

shirt.

The girl flanked on the right was wearing a

black, strapless dress with black gloves, holding a

beige file.

Strange for this place, I thought.

She looked just a couple of years older than

me, not more than twenty.

She was a tall, elegant blonde with a thin waist and

long hair held in a ponytail. She was smiling too, but

her smile seemed to unintentionally express all the

repressed sadism hidden by this perfect body. Her

steely gray eyes were trying to gouge me in detail.

"What is going on here? Release her now!

She's not a prisoner, she is our guest." said the oldest

of them three.

Looking at her expressionlessly and then

turning to me, Kellan freed me with the key he had

previously removed from his right pocket.

Blood was painfully finding its way back to

my hands.

28

The lady was addressing me this time "You

can call me Miss Stern." The strange woman's voice

was filled with determination and strength.

She was blonde too, slightly taller than the girl

wearing gloves, but her body could not disguise her

harshness and anger. Her pale complexion, wrinkles

and hawk-like eyes also seemed to betray great

intelligence and coldness. "I have to apologize for the

behavior of my staff but I'm glad to see you, miss…"

"Faith", Jared added.

"Faith? Give me her file Jeanne, would you?"

Jeanne complied. She opened the file and read. "I

dare say I understand why you would change your

name..."

"Go to hell!" I burst out.

"At least you can speak English. And French

as well."

"I…" I didn't know what to add. How does

she know all this? "What have you done to me?" I

finally asked.

"We tried to enhance you, darling, or your

brain capacity, if you prefer. I would have loved to

explain it all to you before surgery, you would have

seen the absolute necessity of what we do here. But

I'm afraid that's what happens with a lousy staff…"

She finished, glancing sidelong at Jared.

"Enhance? What do you mean?" Are they

mental?I asked myself almost in shock.

"I mean we inserted a needle in your cortex to

stimulate the unused parts of your brain. But

apparently it wasn't as efficient for you as I had

expected. You are supposed to become the strongest,

29

most intelligent of your kind. I have great hopes and

plans for you…But you probably need more time."

"My kind? What are you talking about, you

bitch? You will regret what you've done to me, I

swear I…"

Blondie number two seemed to wince at my

comment, taking a further step in my direction.

She was hampered by the swift movement of Stern's

arm.

"Don't, darling. She has all the rights to be

upset." She added to me this time "Take all the time

you need honey, I will explain everything when you

feel more incline. But there's one little test I would

like you to have and we'll leave you. Kellan, take her

hand, will you?"

And without a single movement of hesitation,

he took it. I could feel all my muscles tense and then

electrical warmth encircling first my hand, then my

heart, and irradiating my whole body. His hand had

felt soft in mine, and gentle, and protective.

I tried to recover my composure dreading the

now familiar pain in my head that such contact had

caused the first time.

Nothing.

Blondie was sniggering while Jared was

looking at me with a smug expression of disdain.

"Thank you darling, that's all for now. K, take

her to her room, she needs to rest. Jeanne, J, let's go,

please. We have business to attend to." Stern

finished.

30

"Wait, you haven't answered any of my

questions, I…" I was talking to myself as the trio had

already left the room without even rewarding me of a

second glare.

I didn't want Kellan to see me like this – fragile, and

frightened. It took all the courage I had left for me to

stand up and face him.

"Let's go!" he added.

I followed him but this time without

complaining, I was too exhausted and weak anyway.

31

CHAPTER 2 –

After Dark

We had left the familiar scent of blood, metal and

bleach for the smell of an indoor space only

ventilated by fans.

This place was like a maze, tunnels were

giving way to new ones at every angle, without any

code of colors nor numbers to indicate directions.

The light was weak, coming from the metallic floor

boarding and small lamps above every door we

encountered. There was no window, no sunlight, no

view, only gray angles and corners.

There was no noise, no voice nor any human activity.

The only sound I could hear was of my footsteps

echoing Kellan's and of fans working at thirty feet

from each other.

These premises were reflecting my inner state

but I didn't want to let despair invade all my

thoughts. Find a pattern. I thought. Left, left, right,

and left again.

At the end of this new hall Kellan stopped all

of a sudden and touched a square button on the wall.

A shape resembling a door lit up in front of me and

opened.

"Here. This will be your room." he said.

I entered.

32

The light was brighter in here but still no window.

There was a small bunk bed with fresh linen in the

left corner, a sink and toilet facing it. In front of me

there was a rusty mirror protected by something

resembling Plexiglas.

My reflection in it felt strange.

Who was this girl? It couldn't be me, I didn't

recognize myself. My head was partly shaved on the

right side and I looked stunningly defeated. I had

become a shallow of a person.

I turned around just to realize that Kellan had

gone. "Wait! Don't leave me here."

It was useless. I was left alone, in this square

room, like a prisoner. The door had turned into a wall

and with it, the consciousness of what had happened

struck me. I felt drained, famished and utterly

hopeless.

I stumbled upon a bed and lay down, trying to

calm my nerves, bracing my knees in fetal position,

silently sobbing.

I closed my eyes not to open them for a long time.

I was awake, looking at the ceiling of the bunk bed.

After a moment of hesitation I finally recalled where

they had taken me. I got out of bed and was heading

for the door when it turned translucent and opened.

"Kellan, what…?" I didn't have time to finish

my sentence.

33

He was already kissing me, passionately,

holding my head with his two hands, forcing his

mouth into mine, invading my space and pushing his

body against mine. I could feel his muscular chest

and incredible strength. I soon started feeling

stunned, my body burning, lit with a blazing fire.

What I felt was too powerful, happening too

soon, consuming every part of me, from the inside.

It felt odd and I tried to push him away, to stop his

embrace but he was too strong. And when he finally

let me catch my breath he whispered in my ear,

"Come one, beauty. I know you want it too."

Abject horror came with the realization that I had

been kissing Jared…

I startled out of bed, sweating, with vivid memories

of my disturbing nightmare.

How long was I asleep? I thought I could hear

footsteps fading away or maybe I was still dreaming.

My eyelids were still heavy but I was famished, I

needed food and a shower too...My lips were dry and

I could sense bitterness on my tongue. I sat down on

my bed, my head almost touching the structure of the

second bed above me. I couldn't make sense of

anything around me.

I just knew I had to get out. But how? At the right

time. When they expect it the least, when I've won

their trust. Let's find some food first…

34

The room was as I remembered it: modern,

gloomy and alien. The same faint night light was

burning. I decided to get out of bed.

My arms and legs were still sore, my sleep

had been restless.

I approached the wall that I recalled had been

the only way out. There, I saw it; this square was a

slightly different shade of metallic gray. I pressed it

and a door appeared on the same spot it had had the

day or night before – I still didn't know which one it

was as the brightness around me or the lack of it had

not shifted overnight.

I couldn't hear anything but decided to give it

a try anyway and went out.

Nothing.

"Hello? Anyone here?" I called out as I was

inspecting my surroundings. Getting lost in this maze

of tunnels would be useless, so I decided to go back

to my room. In front of the opened door, I saw

something resembling a tray.

Muffins? Yum. And what were these? Rags? Blankets,

right. No clothes? Are you kidding?

I needed to get changed. I was turning, facing the

door and carrying the tray with me. Suddenly I heard

a whoosh and felt wind on my face.

"Hey there. Faith, right?"

I almost died of fright, and let the tray fall on

the floor, I felt like a cat put under a running shower.

"Easy, you don't want to waste these, they're

the best." said the strange guy in front of me, picking

up the muffins from the floor.

35

"Do you want to give me a heart attack?" I

said angrily.

"I always forget. Sorry. But where are my

manners? Let me introduce myself. Ben, the greatest,

fastest guy on Earth. At your service, happy to see

you finally awake…" He was tall, brown-haired,

brown-eyed and tanned, composed but funny-looking

at the same time, with no sense of fashion.

He was wearing striped trousers and a checked blue

shirt. He had nothing in common with the body-

builders I had previously seen, he almost seemed frail

and sensitive.

"I don't understand… What do you want?" I

finally asked.

"I'm here to show you around and help you

get changed."

"No way, I'm not changing in front of you." I

insisted.

"That won't be necessary. See that button

there?" He was pointing at another shape – this time

a circle – at the opposite side of the room, next to the

mirror. "Push it, stand still and picture what you want

to wear. I'll be waiting for you outside."

"Wait! What do you mean by 'picture what

you want to wear'? Didn't you bring any clothes?"

I didn't want to trust anyone but Ben seemed alright.

I complied because I had nothing left to lose and I

couldn't spend another day in these clothes.

Nevertheless I hesitantly approached the corner of the

room. I hit the button as I had been instructed.

Picture clothes? Okay. A pair of jeans would be nice.

36

And a top, my favorite blue hoodie jumper of course

and army boots.

Suddenly a tube made out of glass appeared out of

nowhere, circling me around in pink neon lighting. I

started freaking out, again. I hit the glass as hard as I

could and shouted for help but no one answered. The

light inside the tube changed and I saw a red light at

my feet, going up, and melting my clothes? What the

f…?

I was naked and a second later what felt like the

power of a thousand waves crashed headlong onto

my skin.

Two seconds later, the stream turned into air and I

was dry. Another light, made of rainbow beams was

immersing me now and I could feel warmth, pins and

needles prickling all over my body. All of a sudden,

everything came to a halt and as the circular shape

was retracting to the ground.

I glanced at my newly clothed body: blue hoodie

jumper, jeans and army boots like I had imagined.

The door turned transparent again and Ben entered

the room.

"It'd better be comfortable", he said

gesticulating in front of me and pretending to be

offended.

"You owe me an explanation. Starting now!

Press the button? At least you could have warned

me."

"You wouldn't have believed me anyway.

Just the tech team having fun. Don't make a fuss

about it. What do you want to know?" he asked

sitting down on my bed.

37

"How is that even possible, how can I think

about something and see it materialize in front of

me?"

"That would be because of your chip."

"A chip? Which chip?"

"Can you touch the base of your skull?"

"Now?" I couldn't believe no one had

mentioned this to me before.

"Yes, do it now. Do you feel it? Sort of a tiny

plastic plaster?"

"I...yes, I can feel it."

"Each of us has one. They insert them after

the operation. It is supposed to monitor your brain

activity, to prevent aneurysm too."

I was surprised to realize that I knew what

aneurysm meant, but I did. "What do you mean by

us?"

"We call ourselves suprahumans or supras.

You'll see why once you meet the others." Ben

finished.

"What? Who did this to you?" It was getting

weirder and weirder by the minute.

"You mean to us? You're part of the team

now whether you like it or not. But let me fix your

interior first. I don't know how you managed to sleep

in there, it is hideous! We need to do something

about your lack of taste for fashion too... See the kind

of mirror over there?"

"Let me guess, it's not a mirror." I said.

"Sorry to disappoint you, it is a mirror, among

other things. Go standing in front of it."

38

My face must have betrayed my reluctance

because Ben was showing some impatience.

"Now! We don't have all day. I would like to

have breakfast before noon!"

I did as I was asked, surprised by the sudden

change of tone and turned around.

"Face the mirror and close your eyes. Think

of open space and fashion, of curves and colors..."

I wasn't listening anymore. I was feeling so

homesick. I knew I had to block the next images that

were coming to my mind, I didn't want to think about

them now. I couldn't afford to break down. Instead I

directed my thoughts to my room, back at the

apartment.

The wooden floor and huge windows letting the

sunlight in, the wooden shelves facing the fireplace

containing all the books I knew so well, my favorite

ones I had read at least three times and I couldn't

decide to throw away, the smell of pine and the white

candles decorating the table. I could feel the sun

warming my face, drying my tears away...I could

almost hear them now, whispering my name.

"Now open your eyes."

I woke up from my deep reverie with a jump.

Was I still dreaming? I couldn't believe what the

reflection in the mirror was showing me. I was at the

apartment, I was home. How was this possible?

"Not bad. I would have gone for a more

modern touch but it's cozy."

Ben was sitting down on my white leather sofa, I

couldn't believe it.

39

I was afraid someone would wake me up. I

didn't dare touch anything, afraid it might dissolve.

"Don't worry, you may still change your

mind, the room will adapt to your will."

"Wh..."

I didn't have time to finish my sentence, Ben

was already answering. "You see, that chip is not that

bad. It contains all the images your brain is

analyzing. The computer behind the mirror glass

interprets everything and tadaa. Let's go now, I'm

starving."

I didn't want to go, I wanted to lock myself in

here and never confront the real world again. But my

tummy was rumbling too. I took the muffins on the

tray and reluctantly followed Ben to the hall.

"Keep up. This way. " Ben was commanding.

I was trying to remember the way but this

new path, though very similar to the one I had taken

with Kellan, was longer and I quickly lost count.

Ben had stopped in front of a corner. "I can't

explain everything but here is the answer to the

question where." He pressed yet again another button

in the upper left corner of the wall that we were both

facing. The wall materialized into a frame and the

frame became translucent like my entrance door.

It was pitch black outside and I couldn't see

anything. I approached my face to what I supposed

was a window.

Nothing.

40

Then a small black shape took form, gliding in the

dark, another one, now followed by twenty, then

thirty.

Oh my God. It can't be. Fish? I was

surrounded by fish. We were underwater.

"We're in the Maldives. This whole facility is

immersed so forget about breathing fresh air. There,

let's go downstairs now", he added while pushing on

other shapes.

The frame turned into its original state and

gave way to another door.

I followed Ben into what seemed to be an

elevator.

The harsh brightness around us contrasted with the

pale light of the hall. The door turned opaque and

Ben, knowing exactly what to do, activated a sort of

control panel. We were moving I didn't know where

to. I gave a look at this small panel to my right.

Floor numbers lit up quickly.

But somehow, everything felt reversed: we had just

left the sixth floor, the numbers on the panel going

up. I thought Ben had said we would go

downstairs…Odd.

When number twelve became brighter, the door

disappeared again.

We were in front of a gigantic area.

These premises were organized like a human

body, all the veins conducting their load to the heart.

This grand dining room was this heart; full of

movement, spacious and welcoming every soul

41

waiting to be refueled. As soon as I caught a glimpse,

its interior took my breath away: its grandiose ceiling

with four glass chandeliers reflecting the light in the

room, the huge one-hundred-and-eighty degree

window frame with its view on a marvelous beach

with white sand and turquoise water, encircled by

two palm trees. I guessed this view was just an

image, like in my apartment, but it seemed so real,

you could almost smell the iodized wind blowing in

the tree leaves. The middle of the room was filled

with five gray rectangular tables, able to host two

hundred people at the very least. Only twenty were

sitting around them, chatting in five separate groups.

It looked more like a ball room than a dining room.

The shiny white floor and white tapestries, with

twenty familiar faces – American presidents'–

standing out in relief were another confirmation of

that impression.

Gain their trust…Go on. Get out of the

elevator… I was following Ben inside when I felt

eyes lingering on me. I held my breath when I saw

who they belonged to. It felt like advancing in slow

motion, in total silence.

The only sound I was aware of was my heartbeat

accelerating. Nothing else mattered than these blue

eyes fixing me, laying my soul bare.

I felt exposed, naked and fragile but I couldn't afford

to let them see it. My gaze held his and for a few

seconds it felt like we were just the two of us, the

frenzy of this world no longer affecting me.

"Let's go, Faith." Ben encouraged me.

42

It was only then that I realized, as Ben was

interrupting my reverie, who Kellan was sitting next

to. Crushed by the realization that he would never

care for a girl like me, I continued following Ben in

silence, cursing blondie for looking so perfect, even

with her freakish gloves on.

We finally arrived at the corner of the first

table where three new pairs of eyes were gazing at

me.

"Hey guys, what's up? Look who's with me!"

Ben said, going around the corner of the table and

taking place on the vacant seat in front of me.

As no one was uttering a word, I figured a

proper introduction was in order. "Hi" I said timidly.

"I'm Faith."

"We know who you are" said the black haired

boy next to Ben. He had big dark eyes, as black as

coal. He had endured pain and suffering, you could

say that much just by looking at him. He was casually

dressed in black and immediately turned his head to

peek at the table where my eyes had rested five

minutes before.

"Don't mind him, Wolf is not a morning

person…" said the girl on my right, smiling.

She was wearing a pair of jeans and a purple shirt

with sparkling stars on it. She seemed so young,

fifteen? Almost innocent.

Her blue eyes appeared altered by time, or pain – I

didn't know why. She had auburn hair and freckles

all over her face. "I'm so happy to meet you, we have

heard so much about you. I'm Maggy by the way,

43

and this is Toby", she said pointing at the boy sitting

next to her.

Toby couldn't be much older than me and he

seemed mesmerized by Maggy but not as naïve.

He was wearing vintage glasses you could barely

distinguish because his Venetian blonde hair was

covering half of his face. He was wearing a pair of

blue trousers and a black shirt.

"Sit down with us", Maggy added.

"Thanks" I answered most immediately. I

chose the safety of Maggy's surrounding and sat

down on her left.

"Welcome to the team", said Toby, trying to

play it cool.

"Thanks, I guess." How could they seem so

relaxed? They're even smiling? Didn't they endure

the same? "So how long have you been here?" I

ventured.

"I think the twins were first in the program,

Jeanne was second, Wolf was third, and then Ben

arrived. Finally Toby and I were altered last year. So,

you know, I still need to train to increase my ability."

"Your ability? What are you talking about?"

"As if you didn't know… You are one of

those who have endured the operation successfully,

what is yours?" Maggy further asked.

"Well I…I don't know yet…"

"Too soon? Maybe it will be better if I show

you, you'll know what to expect…"

Maggy then stretched her left hand. She closed her

eyes, focused but I couldn't see anything.

44

It was just after ten seconds that I noticed something

was moving above her hand. Some particles of dust

were dancing above her palm, then spinning, faster

and faster until they created a small tornado, the size

of a candlestick. It was amazing. She opened her eyes

and explained: "I can control the elements around

me, but as you can see, I need to increase my power."

"We all need to", finished Toby, trying to

reassure her certainly. "I'm a telekinesis", he added.

"What does it …" I didn't have time to finish

my question, one of my muffins was already moving

in the air and finished its course on his plate.

"Useful when you're hungry" he explained

laughing.

I couldn't hide my smile. "What about you?"

I asked Wolf hesitantly.

As he didn't bother answering, Maggy

continued "Wolf is a real predator, for starters he can

see in the dark and he hears everything, miles away."

Hence the name Wolf I imagined. "What

about the others?"

"You mean Jeanne and the twins? We don't

really know. No one does exactly, except Ms. Stern

of course. All we know is that they must be really

powerful, Jeanne, Kellan and Jared are always away

on missions and they always sit together." finished

Maggy.

"Not much of a loss, if you want my opinion"

said Ben.

At that moment, Wolf stood up loudly and

exited the room, as if he had seen a ghost.

They all looked at him incredulously.

45

"What's his problem?" I asked but I could see

they weren't listening, instead their eyes were all

fixing something or someone behind me with

defiance.

I decided to turn around to check what was

happening when I heard a whisper in my ear: "Sweet

dreams, beauty?"

I froze as Jared was moving away from me

while chuckling sarcastically. At this moment, all my

frustration and anger rushed back, together with the

recall of painful past events – the operation, the pain,

the constant frustration and the purposely lack of

answers. As my heartbeat was accelerating I felt

flushed and ready to scream.

"Excuse me…" I apologized to my new friends,

pushing my chair away from the table to stand up

more easily.

I looked around and spotted Jared near the buffet in

front of our table. I was slowly walking to him,

taking my time to savor that moment.

When I was facing his back I asked him "Jared,

right?"

He turned around, but too slowly to anticipate

what I had had in mind since our second meeting. I

slapped him fiercely in the face, letting my anger take

the best of me and added "Stay away from me, you

bastard!"

I could hear Ben and the others clapping their

hands, cheering and whistling as I was admiring the

astounded face of Jared who still didn't understand

what had happened.

46

He was rubbing his left cheek slowly, his face

no longer able to hide his mischievous nature, his

eyes only confirming what I already knew: he would

want his revenge.

But I didn't care anymore. I wanted control

over my life again, this pretentious jerk couldn't hurt

me anymore without expecting retaliation.

I was heading back to Maggy when I peeked

at Jeanne who seemed even more furious than Jared.

Her face was red with anger, she was trying to stand

up but Kellan's arm was preventing her from

attempting anything. He was looking down, as if he

were hiding… a smile? I must have been mistaken.

When I found my seat back next to Maggy, I

was famished. I took the remaining muffin and ate it

quickly.

She chuckled "well I'm sure he didn't see that

one coming. He sure deserved it, he's such a jerk."

The other two were nodding and smiling at

me too.

I turned to face Maggy, to know more about

where I had landed "You said those who have

successfully endured the operation. How many are

there?"

"With you included, we are eight. But I think

they've tried on others…" She wasn't smiling

anymore.

"On others? What happened?" I wanted to

know.

"I guess… I guess they didn't survive the

operation. We never saw them…

47

But every time Jared and Kellan leave for a few days,

I think they bring back a new recruit… And they've

been away a lot recently, five or six times before your

arrival…"

"Oh my Gosh. How do we stop them?"

"Stop them, are you insane? We are all

volunteers. Ms. Stern saved me, she saved us. The

twins and Jeanne are total jerks but they're here

because they chose to. No one forced us."

Why didn't they let me choose then?

At this moment, as I knew my question would remain

unanswered, I felt a presence behind me. Alarmed by

the possibility that it could be J, I turned around

carefully, ready to react in case of attack.

It was Wolf. "You are to be in Ms. Stern's

office in five minutes. Follow me."

"How dare you..?" I tried to say.

But Maggy was already whispering to me

"Do not argue with Ms. Stern, she wants what's best

for you, you'll see."

Maybe Maggy was right, maybe she would

give me the answers I was looking for…I stood up

and followed Wolf to the elevator, having weighed

all my options, my curiosity had won.

48

CHAPTER 3 –

Blurry Sight

Stuck in this enclosed space, I tried to focus on where

I was going. The control panel had indicated one

before stopping.

Wolf hadn't pronounced a single word since

passing along Stern's request. Something told me he

wouldn't pronounce any audible sound unless it was

totally necessary. I was wondering why he had

chosen his name and if all the supras were like him. I

already knew Maggy wasn't but I couldn't say Ben or

Toby had been really talkative about their life here.

One thing was certain though, I knew I couldn't trust

any of them. Maybe they are right to remain

secretive because once I have the chance to expose

them all, I will, without the slightest hesitation.

That was it, my life now: a world stained with

deceit, bitterness and loneliness.

We were still walking along these new walls – Wolf

leading – and I realized that everything seemed to be

the same around here; it still seemed impossible to

find your way, the sound and smell were identical to

my floor – silence and dust.

49

The only difference resided in their color:

these walls were a dark shade of gray. It certainly

fitted the host's personality: cruelly cold.

Wolf suddenly stopped moving to inhale

noisily.

"What's the matter? Is there something on the

stove?" I ventured, half mocking him, half trying to

make a statement: the dense air was unbreathable

here.

"Shhh..." was the only thing he grumbled.

"Stay here, she will receive you in a minute."

And with that, he disappeared into the maze, leaving

me behind.

One minute passed, then two. I was keeping track of

time, with one finger on my pulse. It had always been

as regular as a clock.

I imagined that shouting was a total waste of

time, so I wouldn't even bother.

At the count of eighty new pulsations, a bright

ray of light bathed me entirely, so strong I was

blinking. Half covering my eyes, I tried to see where

it had come from.

The ceiling.

With this sudden realization I also felt myself

become lighter, almost floating. But I was floating, I

was moving into thin air, ascending towards the

ceiling. It felt like being trapped in a huge vacuum.

I couldn't open my eyes – the light was too

intense – but at a certain point I sensed my feet touch

the concrete and I risked opening them.

50

This exasperated high pitched voice was

giving me gooseflesh as I recalled who it belonged

to.

"Have a seat." Ms. Stern said, not even

bothering to look at me nor move an inch.

Her office was tidy and impersonal: no picture, no

plant, nor color.

Everything was white or black.

Her dark desk was covered with what seemed

to be stacks of files, one she had already opened and

pretended to be reading.

She had a white file cabinet with black

drawers on her right and a huge window frame

behind her. The image dancing on the screen was the

view I imagined you could have from a skyscraper in

New York. It portrayed a marvelously balanced

landscape: building on both sides and a patchwork of

green in the middle.

I had never seen Central Park from this height but it

was how I would imagine it.

I still couldn't believe these premises were

immersed. Maybe it was another of their tricks.

I sat down on the ivory chair in front of me. It

was cold, uninviting and uncomfortable.

She swiftly closed her file and reopened

hostilities. "I called for you to have an update on your

condition. It's been more than a week now, ten days

to be exact, that you underwent alteration and still no

sign of activity. It is quite odd considering it took less

than twelve hours for the others to show upgrade."

What did you expect?

51

"Have you felt anything unusual?" she went

on.

"You mean except the splitting headache I

need to thank you for? No, nothing."

"Don't take this tone with me, young lady.

Now, I see that your chip recorded a peak of activity

but it could have been the pain."

"How could you do this to me?" I asked

violently.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I mean, how could you do this to me, bitch!"

"How dare you? I've already apologized for

the way my staff treated you... One day you will

thank me!" she said with her smug tone.

"How could you ever expect me to thank

you?" I went on. "You took everything from me.

What about my freedom? I had a life!"

"You call this a life? You may not realize it

yet but I gave you everything on a silver platter:

opportunities and a cause worth fighting for when

you had lost everything. Don't you want to matter?

To make a difference in this world? Because you will

never have another chance like this again. I know you

are affected by the anarchy we live in; corruption,

terrorism, global warming… You know we owe it to

ourselves to act upon these issues. I've just given you

what the mere mortals will never have: the

conscience of what is really happening and the tools

to fight it" she continued.

I couldn't believe this woman's sheer

audacity. Was she totally out of her mind?

52

"I've never asked for any of it. It is not my fight. I

had plans and a whole life ahead of me."

"You're right, it's not your fight; it's

everyone's. And about your life all planned ahead,

your file here says otherwise." she answered angrily.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean your hospital report here says

otherwise." She grasped a sheet of paper out of her

file and gave it to me to read.

Post-traumatic stress? It was all too detailed,

I didn't have the time to read everything and I didn't

want to hear anymore of her bullshit. Using my

suicide attempt was a low blow but I wasn't going to

let her throw it at me without a fight.

"It was an accident. It's what happens when you

drink and you forget that you're using sleeping pills."

"I don't believe a word of it. You knew

exactly what you were doing. And who could blame

you? You had just lost the only people who really

cared for you. But don't tell me you had it all figured

out. You were totally lost and had no one.

But everything is different now. Once you really

understand what we're trying to do here, you will be

proud to be part of it. We're your family, you're not

alone anymore. Trust me and give me a chance to

show you. What have you got to lose?"

I didn't know what else to say.

"This whole post-traumatic stress incident

will stay between us but I need you to cooperate. You

will have to report to your personal physician every

day and we'll monitor any modification. In the

meantime you will have to work, train and learn like

53

any other member of our staff. After that you'll be

free to leave if you're not convinced."

"Why me?" I finally asked.

"You will see for yourself. That will be it."

she concluded without letting me any other

opportunity to speak up.

I was mute with confusion. I was about to ask

her where to go when Wolf appeared in a glimpse

through the same passage I had used. He came to

stand on my left in front of her desk.

"Report?" she asked him briskly.

"I thought we had been followed but it seems

I was mistaken. The trail grew cold near the second

elevator. It could have been anyone."

"Go on investigating. I want to catch the

culprit as quickly as possible. Accompany Faith to

Dr. Drest's." As he wasn't showing any response she

added "Now."

Wolf looked at me, his face betraying his

mistrust. He took me by the arm and we were back in

the tunnel in a matter of seconds, still bathing in

light.

Dr. Drest's office was on the eighth floor. Again the

same maze – black this time – led us there.

Wolf had had the decency to wait for me in

front of the door that had disappeared in front of us at

the precise moment we had arrived.

As the door turned solid again, Dr. Drest said

"Come on in Faith. Sit down and make yourself

54

comfortable." She was petite, certainly in her late

twenties. She had brown eyes and long black hair.

She was wearing a white shirt.

She had stood while greeting me and I had sat down

on the only chair in front of her desk. Her office was

the traditional white, there was an auscultation chair

covered with protective paper in the middle of the

room and next to it there was a tray with sterile

surgical tools : scalpels, tweezers, gauze, compresses,

suture scissors, bandage scissors, a plaster knife,

plaster shears, an antiseptic and surgical gloves

coming out of a box. I knew all their names. Odd.

The smell in this room was surgically tainted too:

bleach mixed with a scent similar to the interior of a

new car. I tensed at the memory of such a scent.

"I'll be with you in a moment." she added seemingly

hiding behind her three-screened computer. The only

personal touch in her office was the photo of a soldier

in his uniform, in a wooden frame – half facing her.

He must be in his thirties, tall, black hair, good-

natured even though he wasn't smiling.

Her fiancé maybe?

She was the total opposite of Stern: warm,

calm and patient.

I didn't know what Dr. Drest was doing in a place

like this; she seemed smart and reasonable enough.

Why would she agree to be the silent witness of my

imprisonment?

She stopped typing and started "Thank you

for your patience. The paperwork is really the worst

part of the job." She smiled.

55

"I'm Doctor Drest and I'm in charge of your case.

Everything you say here is confidential.

I have to report your alteration progress but do not

hesitate to ask any question you might have. If there

is anything I can help you with, I will."

She went on "I see Ms. Stern has scheduled an

everyday meeting at nine thirty sharp. So we will

meet here as asked. This medical examination

consists of three parts, an anamnesis – questions

about your physical health or any problem,

inconvenience you might experience after surgery – a

medical examination per say – like cleaning your

surgical wound, and, finally, I was asked to analyze

your chip data on a daily basis. As you know all the

altered subjects are implanted with a chip. You might

not feel them, but you have stitches at the base of

your skull. If it's itchy, it's always a good sign. It

means that you are healing properly. We're going to

remove these today but don't worry, you won't feel

anything. This chip is transmitting information to my

computer, about your health and the progress you

might observe towards alteration."

I couldn't stop myself from moving my right

hand to touch the area she was talking about when

she hastened to add "Please don't. I will examine you

in a moment. Your pulse seems even, blood pressure

is okay, blood tests are good: you're in perfect health.

But I see here that you've had a seizure already. How

are you feeling now?"

As I was not answering she explained "We

name seizure any time lapse when your body stops

56

functioning normally, with a shift in your

neurological activity.

The causes may be several: pain, aneurysm,

embolism or in your case alteration may be one of

them."

"I know what a seizure is…" I answered,

looking at my hands.

"Can you tell me what happened when you

woke up?" she asked.

I looked at her suspiciously. "You mean when

I had these splitting headaches, so strong I couldn't

move?"

She immediately retorted "Was it what it felt

like? Headaches? On a scale of one to ten, one being

slight and ten being persistent agonizing pain, how

would you rate these headaches?"

I didn't know what to say, she appeared to be

really concerned about my discomfort. But she was

with them. "I don't know...a nine?"

She went on "I see... Do you know what

started them?" She was taking notes on her computer.

At that moment I lost my patience "What

about you asshole surgeons operating on me without

my consent?"

After two seconds, she asked "What did you

say?"

"You heard me! You did this to me, you and

your superhero team. So tell me how to get rid of

these migraines and give me my life back."

She looked dumbfounded "You mean you

didn't volunteer?"

57

"Volunteer? Are you kidding me? Do you

think I would volunteer to be a guinea pig?"

"Well, I don't know what to say...I…" she

was stammering.

"Have a look at your file and check your

Intel! I think you might be missing the reasons of my

being here. I didn't know kidnapping and torturing

were parts of your job description!"

She looked at me almost apologetically.

"I'm sorry Faith, I didn't know. This procedure is

quite unusual. I'll check into it, I promise you. Now,

please don't forget that I'm here to help you. I'll do

everything in my power for you to feel that I'm

trustworthy."

For a moment she looked sincere and I almost

allowed myself to believe that I could confide in her.

But this new sign of kindness was too much: my

judgment was clouded by two different emotions –

sadness and anger. My heart constricted.

Without being able to hold them back, tears were

slowly sliding down my cheeks. I quickly erased the

proof of my weakness with the palm of my right

hand.

She looked away for a second and then said

"if you agree I would like to examine you now and

remove your stitches, you will feel more

comfortable."

She stood up at my nod, walked to the other end of

the room and washed her hands above the sink close

to the auscultation chair. She took a pair of gloves

and faced me again, putting them on. "Please sit

down here, facing the wall behind me."

58

I turned around to monitor her movements.

She had prepared tweezers, a pair of scissors

and was spreading some liquid – the antiseptic

certainly – on the compresses.

I quickly faced the wall again.

"Could you hold your hair for me and look

down?"

I had no other choice than to do as I was told.

"Okay, perfect. The wound is not infected. I'll

clean the area first and then remove the stitches. Stay

still."

After a freezing cold sensation, I could feel

her pull the stitches but it was as she had promised,

painless. She listened to my heart and lungs, took my

blood pressure even if I was sure my chip was

exactly measuring every single detail of my bodily

functions. Then I was back in my chair, muted.

"You will find everything you need in your

bathroom cupboard for your monthly period,

antiseptic too. Apply it once more tonight. It will do.

We'll meet here tomorrow, same time, same place."

As she wasn't adding anything else, I stood

up, ready to leave when she tried to say something.

"Faith…I…There are some great people here.

You will get used to our way of living. Don't worry."

How long are they going to keep me here? I

don't want to get used to it, I didn't ask for any of it

in the first place! How many times do I have to

explain this? I left without turning around and exited

into the hall.

59

"You must be hungry. Let me take you to the dining

room." Kellan had startled me out of my mental

prison.

Why couldn't they ask Maggy to escort me

back? I started following him without saying

anything.

I'll never remember my way out of here…all

these thoughts were appearing in my head. I offended

Jared, now I had to put up with his brother? This

couldn't be good.

I still didn't know what to think of Kellan. He

hadn't harmed me –yet – but he was with them, with

Stern – my abductor. We had arrived in front of the

elevator. He was facing me, looking at me intensely.

I did the same for I wouldn't look down, not in front

of him, not in front of anyone. Our eyes seemed to

have a mind of their own, wanting to remain that

way.

"Let's go." he finally said as he was the first

to break our stares, entering the elevator.

We both remained silent. But it didn't seem to

bother him. It wasn't a strained silence we had lapsed

into. It seemed we were just gauging each other's

reaction.

I recognized the floor number: twelve. At least he

had brought me where he had said he would.

He was going out of the elevator now, leaving

me alone. When he suddenly turned around, came

back to me and whispered "Nice punch by the way"

and left for good this time.

60

All I could see next was Jeanne, meeting him

with a broad smile and blood lust in her eyes.

I stayed several seconds longer in the elevator

to catch my breath, too preoccupied to notice the new

decoration the dining-room had endured.

As I was approaching Maggy's table, I went past

Jeanne's.

Kellan totally ignored me, letting me wonder

what he had meant a few minutes before. Mocking

me for sure. Well, I couldn't care less about his

opinion.

"Hey Faith, how has it been?" Maggy asked,

facing Ben and Toby.

Neither Jared nor Wolf were around. Good.

"Okay I guess."

When she heard I wasn't going on, she looked

at me with encouraging eyes.

"Doctor Drest was nice. I'm healing

properly…" I added.

"Well, that's good news!" Toby replied

enthusiastically.

I smiled shyly. "May I sit down?" I further

tried.

"Of course, I saved this seat for you. But you

must be starving, let me show you the buffet first…"

Maggy said, suddenly standing.

"If I were you, I wouldn't try these greenish

little things, they taste like dirt…" said Ben.

"Duly noted!" I smiled again, and followed

Maggy.

61

"Everything is fresh and the menu varies

every week. This week's theme is fusion cooking.

Try these, they're delicious" Maggy continued

pointing at some purple and brown toast in display.

"Alright" I answered hesitantly.

"Nice entrance by the way…" she said.

"What..?" I didn't know what she had meant.

"I saw you come in with Kellan…I'm not the

only one… You should have seen Jeanne's face when

she spotted you two together…She was green with

envy."

"I…He was asked to escort me to the dining

room… It's really not what you think…Anyway, he

ran back to her as soon as we arrived…"

"She wishes…" Maggy added.

"I don't understand…"

"Jeanne's been after the twins for as long as I

can recall. She even dated Jared for a while

apparently. It was before my arrival. But she will

never have what she wants from Kellan, I promise

you."

"Not that I'm interested but …how do you

know?" I asked, curious of her answer.

"Look at him…"

I risked a furtive glance.

"He doesn't seem at all interested in what she

is saying" she continued. "Plus, I'm a people person,

I can feel those things…"

"I believe you" I said half-mockingly, filling

my plate with different pieces of toast of very strange

colors.

62

Time was flying by with those three. They were

always talking about light matters, not at all

preoccupied by anything important.

I learned that they had been recruited by

Jeanne or the twins but that they had accepted the

offer voluntarily. No one had forced them. They

assured me they were here because they wanted to.

However no one seemed willing to talk about their

past. I still didn't understand what had made them

choose this path or why they had been selected.

We agreed to meet tonight, after dinner, eaten

every evening in our apartment. Movie night they had

suggested.

It should be fun, though I haven't seen any

TV... I was wondering, when Wolf cut me off.

"Lunch is over. We have to go."

"Isn't it the valiant Wolf in his armor? Ready

for another battle I see…" said Ben.

When I saw Wolf tense without bothering to

answer, I knew I had to go. "Well guys, see you

tonight, then?" I asked then added "Wait, where do

we meet?"

"Don't worry, I'll wait for you in front of

your apartment. But we all live on the same floor, so

now you know" Maggy finished. "Let's say at

seven?"

"Perfect. See you…" And I was on Wolf's tail

once more.

63

"Where are we going?" I was trying to start the

conversation in between floors.

"You will attend a presentation then start

training."

Great! I hate going to the gym!

Fortunately our movie night was something to look

forward to.

The elevator was still moving up instead of down

when it stopped on the third floor.

"Follow me." Wolf went on.

As if I had anywhere else to go!

We took a left, then another one and again.

These halls were once more very similar to Stern's

but with another reigning color, they were a light

yellow. The odor – a mix of sweat and dust – was

making me sick. Fortunately the air conditioning was

on. I was trying to control my breathing when Wolf

abruptly stopped.

"In here…" he said as I was invited to enter a

faintly lighted office.

There was a large table in the middle and

some chairs encircling it. I looked around, there was

no other entrance and the door that had let me in had

already disappeared.

Shouldn't I wait for someone before sitting

down? There was still no one so I randomly opted for

a chair, waiting for some human company, in vain.

Two seconds later, the table disappeared to be

replaced by an impressive three-D image, displaying

Stern with a similar suit to the one I had seen her

with on my first day here.

64

"Welcome to Stern Corporation and

congratulations for you have chosen to fight with us

and make a difference…" Her mellifluous voice was

echoing strongly through the silent office.

Chosen? Yeah, right!

"Wars, terrorism, pollution, diseases, global

warming…our world is drawing to an end."

Her face had faded away and had been replaced by

horrible images – nuclear plants destroyed, men

burning because of radiations, dying because of

floods, or draught.

"But your decision will affect the course of

your life, and save humanity from desolation. Stern

Corporation is our only hope."

Is this a joke? Is this how she was fooling

them all? You must be kidding me…

"You being here means you have passed stage

one, you survived alteration surgery. This was no

mere luck. Life has selected you to protect it. In the

following weeks, you will learn to focus, meditate

and control your gift…"

I could see a map of Stern Corporation now, its

twelve floors, the layout of halls mirroring letters S

and C, intertwined like a serpent and its prey.

"On the first floor you will find my office and…The

building is equipped with two elevators…"

Each floor was clearly indicated on this virtual map

that had formed in front of me, following her exact

course of explanation. I could almost touch it.

65

"You will find four emergency exits with diving

equipment on each floor. In case of emergency, a red

light will appear and you will be asked to dive to the

surface…"

I had almost forgotten we were in the ocean.

But I've never learned to dive…

"You were assigned a particular physician

that you will meet daily. Your chip is another safety

measure that will allow us to give you the best

possible care. Your physician will answer any

question you might still have concerning you medical

status."

Sure, sure… How am I supposed to trust them

when they have implanted a foreign object in my

brain?

"You will observe a daily program, with

exercises aimed at improving you physically and

mentally…Your diet will be balanced as well, to

increase your abilities…"

I was half-listening to her now. All these

rules? Welcome to the Army!

Virtual Stern was back now. "Once again,

thank you for your commitment. You're already a

hero."

Yeah, right!

Brighter lights were turned on and sliding

doors formed on my left.

Time to leave I guess.

But when I saw Wolf waiting for me in the

hall, my heart constricted.

Why was I feeling disappointed?

66

We had arrived in front of my training room on the

fourth floor.

Once more Wolf left me alone, this time in an

almost naked square room. No mirror, no treadmill

nor bike? The wooden floor felt soft under my soles.

How do they expect me to train in here?

"Welcome Faith."

My heart had missed a beat and I jumped of

fright. The image of a well-built man in his thirties

had formed in front of me. My green-eyed, brown-

haired and tanned Californian-looking virtual trainer

would certainly be Maggy's type.

"Welcome to your focus training, day one.

My name is Danian. We are going to work together.

Your commitment to this program is essential if you

wish to succeed and improve your skills. Please be

seated at the center of the room. Our first series of

exercises will help you find the best meditation

technique suited to your needs. Kick off your shoes

and sit down..."

As I had nothing better to do, I followed

Danian's instructions.

"In Yoga, you need to follow what is called

an asana or posture. The first one is depicted like this;

legs crossed, hands on thighs, index fingers and

thumbs touching. This posture will help you focus

and breathe more freely…"

Thank God I'm wearing trousers!

"…It is used to open your energy channels,

chakras and body psychic centers. Breathe in,

exhales, find your own rhythm…In, out, in, out…"

How difficult could this be?

67

"Focus on your body, your hair, ears…"

Focus? What does he think I'm trying to do?

"You feel relaxed and calm, you are ready to

find your inner strength. You feel invincible…"

Yeah, right…

"Don't open your eyes, please. Listen to my

voice and my voice only…"

Oh boy, it's going to be a long afternoon…

After what felt like a decade, I finally received the

authorization to move.

"Thank you for your cooperation. We'll

practice some more tomorrow, same time, same

place…"

"Wait, where am I supposed to go?" I asked,

standing and stretching. But Danian had already

disappeared.

There was still no visible door nor possible

way out. I was stuck here.

I was growing impatient, what stupid exercises would

they find next? I started knocking on the wall.

"Guys? Anyone? Can you hear me?"

The room was suddenly dark and I could hear a

female voice. Stern's?

"Please, sit down."

Sit down? Where?

A lighted square was growing out of the floor. I

obeyed.

68

"You're going to experience another

meditation practice. This time I will ask you to

remember as many images as possible."

In front of me I could see pink and yellow

butterflies flying around, a rainbow, a field, a

ladybug …It was amazing. All these images seemed

so real, their color so vivid. But whenever I tried to

touch them, they would evaporate.

A river moving under my feet, a bridge in front of

me, and fish jumping out of the water, and on the

river bank a gun…

A gun? Have I really seen this?

A day at the park, trees, birds singing and a

dog playing with a bone.

A hand? Was it a hand it was holding?

Impossible…

A pecan pie on a picnic blanket, children on a

playground, playing…

Crying and screaming?

I didn't know what this exercise was but it was

staring to freak me out, I could hear my heart

pounding hard in my chest.

A tree, a child holding a kite and…

A knife? A bloody knife? What the fuck?

Please make them stop, it's not funny at all.

I couldn't watch any longer.

"Please keep your eyes open and remember as

many images as possible."

"Fuck you! Let me out of here! Now!"

I kept my eyes closed until I was sure no other

landscape was flashing by in front of me.

69

"Thank you for your cooperation. We'll

practice some more tomorrow, same time, same

place…"

"Fuck you!" I repeated again to the female

voice. I stood up and a door appeared on my right. I

exited the evil room.

I looked left then right. Wolf was nowhere near me. I

was furious.

Stay calm? Cooperate? Fuck them, this is too

weird. I took a left and walked fast. I wasn't going to

let them use me.

I started shouting in the void "I'm out of here! Do

you hear me? I'm leaving!"

I was running now, evacuating all the tension, anger

and frustration I had felt. I arrived at the end of the

hallway and stopped. The hall divided into three

other hallways of equal dimension. I didn't know

which one to take. I opted for the path in front of me.

I started running again.

There was no end to this path, no door, no elevator.

Shit! It was too late to go back, so I continued

walking. "Get me to Stern! Right now!" I shouted

once more.

The gloomy lights around me were giving me the

creeps, the only sound; my steps resonating through

these endless halls.

Lights were getting still fainter in here. I went back to

running again, faster this time until I realized,

looking back, that there was a shadow following me.

So I ran, faster and faster, I needed to get this dark

silhouette away from me or I would die, I knew it.

70

I risked looking behind me one more time, the

shadow had gone. I could slow down now, I needed

to. But my feet weren't responding anymore.

I kept on running faster and faster, when I saw the

same shadow now in front of me, this shadow was

looking at me and I was going straight to it. I

screamed.

"Wake up now! Wake up!"

I could feel someone shaking me, holding my

arms. "Don't touch me!"

Wolf seemed relieved to hear me protest, his

hard facial expression softening at the sound of my

voice.

"What happened?" I asked him.

"I found you here, on your knees, screaming

with your eyes shut."

"I…There was no one here when I got out of

the training room…I don't understand…"

"For God's sake…Jared…Jared is here, come

on, stand up."

"How do you know he's here?"

"Let's get out of here or we'll both be caught

in one of his nightmares…"

I followed Wolf's lead and didn't dare ask

him for any further explanation…Was it his gift?

Frightening people? In that case I understood why he

was taken on missions…

71

Wolf left me in front of my apartment. I was still

trembling with anxiety.

How could Jared do such a thing? Why

wasn't I able to respond after my alteration?

I needed to find a way to fight back and fast if

I wanted to survive in here… Maybe Maggy would

be able to help? I would need to ask her tonight.

As I was trying to calm my nerves in my

entrance hall, I noticed new elements in my interior.

Next to my door I could see an electronic board

projected on the wall with an activity description.

My timetable?

It read:

26

th

April

9'30 Dr. Drest,

10'30 - 12'30: meditation 1,

2 - 5 p.m. meditation 2

27

th

April

9'30 Dr. Drest,

10'30 - 12'30: meditation 1,

2 - 5 p.m. meditation 2

26

th

April? I must have lost track of time. When was I

last in New Orleans? Almost two weeks ago…Stern

was right. How is it possible? And they don't have

regular boards in here? Paper or forget-me-nots? I

needed to get used to this new communication

technology.

At least they couldn't be held responsible for

destroying the Amazon rainforest I thought.

I wish I had a clock, it would be so much easier...

72

A circle appeared out of nowhere. Once again it was

a black projection, but this time of a clock.

Okay, this is freaking me out now. How did they

know I wanted the time? Am I being watched? I

looked around still feeling uncomfortable and on the

verge of losing my mind.

Everything is okay, everything is okay, you're okay.

I had found my familiar position in the corner

of the room, rocking my body against the wall and

biting my fingers, breathing in and out the dusty air

of my apartment.

Move, now! Do it! You can't stay here all

night. You can't…And I went to the bathroom to get

prepared.

I opened the door to see Maggy's refreshing smile.

"Ready to party?" she asked.

"Are we going to dance as well? I'm not

dressed properly…" I asked smiling back.

"Ooooh Faith, we really need to do

something about this style of yours…dancing or no

dancing…" Ben said laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" I was looking at

my outfit; a pair of jeans, a red V-neck shirt with

sneakers. It was comfortable and easy-going at the

same time…I didn't see what Ben had meant.

"Never mind, let's go!" added Toby.

73

We were walking nonchalantly to Ben's

apartment and for the first time in years, I felt like I

was fitting in.

This feeling didn't last long, for, a second

later, in front of us, I saw Jeanne, wearing a gorgeous

black dress, high heels, hair up and sparkling earrings

with matching gloves.

She was walking with Jared on one side and …Kellan

on the other.

The three of them were heading towards us. It was

obvious they were in for a good time.

Why did they need to be overdressed and gorgeous

all the time? Jared had a triumphant dark smile on

his face while approaching us. I was determined to

ignore them more than ever.

But Ben stopped suddenly and a door

appeared on our right.

Inside he had some vintage music on.

I knew the artist, Birdy's words were

resonating through his apartment: "Can you hear

when I say I have never felt this way…"

They all entered.

I was about to follow my friends into Ben's

dream premises when I turned around and looked

back.

Kellan was looking straight at me. For a

moment time seemed suspended as I was staring back

at him with the same intensity.

Then he disappeared, leaving me blushing

with my pulse racing, heartbeat resonating in my

ears.

74

"That is quite a museum you have here." I said to

Ben, trying to forget what had just happened.

All around me were radios, paintings, picture

frames and ash trays, all from the 70's. His condo

looked like a cottage by the sea, the walls naked to

the brick on some parts, painted in pale green on

others, with a beautiful view, white candles leaving a

vanilla scent and the sound of seagulls flying in the

sunset.

"Well it's a pale imitation of my childhood

beach house, or at least what I would have wanted it

to be like if I had had one." he answered.

"But I thought your chip could only interpret

real information…" I replied.

"I pictured it…my apartment… saw some

parts in my favorite magazines… Real enough to

me." Ben smiled.

"What would happen if I jumped down?" I

asked, looking over his balcony. Was all this real?

"Your mind would interpret it like a real fall.

We're not really that high, but high enough for you to

get hurt."

I didn't want to check his theory.

"What do you want to watch tonight, Faith?"

asked Maggy.

"Whatever you want, you can choose..."

"Ready for an epic night?" asked Toby.

"What do you have in mind?" I didn't know

what he had meant.

"Well, it's a tradition of ours to have at least

one movie of each genre every month…" Ben started.

75

"Sci Fi movies? Really…" I said as he had

given me a DVD.

"The Sci Fi movie to be exact. You will love

this one…"

I could read Avatar on the cover.

"It's a classic…" Ben continued.

"Alright" I didn't dare refuse. "Is your DVD

player vintage as well?" I asked openly making fun

of him.

"Oh don't worry about it…" Maggy winked

at me.

"Please be seated" Ben indicated a cream

colored sofa in the middle of the room, but there was

no screen in front of it, just his picture window.

"I…"

"Sit down" said Toby. "Trust me…"

I sat down not knowing what to expect and

Ben followed two seconds afterwards.

Ben's living-room darkened to form shades of black

and grey. I could hear the voices and sense the smell,

smoke, dirt and filth of the city where people were

advancing…I could hear footsteps.

I saw a man – his body kept in the dark – struggling,

in his wheelchair, struggling with his life.

It felt so real…

76

CHAPTER 4 –

Cloudy Judgement

Time was passing by slowly here, each day boringly

resembling the previous one.

The only prospect I had was movie night on

Fridays – at Maggy, Toby or Ben's. But I had to

confess Ben's apartment had been the most

impressive one. He had a lot of imagination, you

could grant him that.

Maybe it wasn't the only thing I was waiting

for…

Kellan hadn't escorted me anymore and our random

encounters were engraved on me as the most

embarrassing moments ever.

I had even bumped into him some days

before. I was talking to Maggy, looking back at her

and going for the elevator at the same time – big

mistake. Sorry… was all I had been able to say.

He hadn't even bothered speaking to me. But

I had felt his fingers on my arms, he had held me, to

prevent me from falling again.

I knew I needed to stop thinking about it. I

really did and it would pass like the rest.

I was spending my day with Wolf now. He

had never even tried to start a conversation though.

77

I was also getting used to watching violent

images.

Through meditating with Danian, I had

learned how to control my fear.

Moreover I had remained myself. Their

brainwashing wasn't working on me at all.

Nothing had been altered in my personality or

physical condition either.

They said powers could still awake but it had been

more than six weeks since my surgery and still

nothing. I couldn't run like Ben nor hunt like Wolf.

What was I still doing here then? I was wondering…

Should I worry about it?

Doctor Drest sure had enough confidence for us both.

It was the closest relationship I had to

friendship here. I had grown fond of Maggy and Ben

too but they were still so young. While Toby had

been the most distant of them three, Doctor Drest was

like the big sister I had never had. I had learned the

man in the photo was her brother, who had died in

Iraq. She had known grief and loss too. She had told

me she was seeing someone who understood it as

well. I was wondering who he was…

She also seemed genuinely worried about my

well-being here. She had stood up for me on several

occasions, asking Stern why I had been forced on

being here the first place. But she had been kept in

the dark and promised she would go on investigating.

How? I didn't know…But I had slowly started to

trust her.

78

"Listen. Change of plans for today." She had

caught my attention. "Miss Stern has asked me to try

another approach.

As it has been weeks now and the expected

effects of alternation haven't shown on you yet, I was

asked to inject you with this."

"What is it?" I asked inspecting the vial filled

with pinkish liquid.

"It is a powerful serum that will reveal your

powers. Or at least I hope it will…"

"Are you hoping or are you sure?"

"I can't predict it will be efficient a hundred

per cent. But it contains adrenalin and will hopefully

have the expected effect on you."

When she saw I didn't react, she added "I'm not

planning on forcing you to take it. If you don't want

to, I'll tell Stern we changed our mind…"

"I don't trust Stern, but I trust you. If you tell

me it can help, I say let's have a shot…" I smiled.

"Alright then. Sit down on the auscultation

chair. I'll be with you in a minute."

I was calmly watching her prepare a syringe

and the vial on a sterile green piece of cloth.

I had never been fond of needles but I knew we had

run out of options. I didn't want to stay here even

though I slowly started to feel at ease. What other

way than developing powers did I have to get the hell

out? Moreover without powers, my utility in Stern's

eyes would clearly diminish, and what would they do

with me then?

"Still sure?" Doctor Drest asked. I nodded.

"Okay." she finally said.

79

I felt a small pinch at the precise spot where she was

injecting me with the serum.

I waited.

Nothing.

I wasn't dizzy or sick. I was still myself.

"I don't think it worked, I'm not feeling…" I

stopped talking as a surge of dread quickly filled my

veins, and arteries – my whole body.

My heart started hammering, faster and faster, it was

ready to explode in my chest and acute pain was

blurring my vision. I started shaking.

"I…." I uttered.

I fell on the floor when I could hear a female voice

calling my name, checking my eyes with her small

torch. And suddenly, it stopped.

The pain had disappeared.

I could still feel my pulse racing but I sensed that I

could try to slowly open my eyes now. So I did.

In front of me, a blurred vision of Stern,

wearing her white cloak was openly laughing at me.

"I see you're still a useless little cunt. Well it's time

we got rid of you …" she said sniggering at the same

time.

Uncontrollable rage took over. She needed to

be dealt with, she was the reason I was trapped –

imprisoned – here, the enemy to destroy.

When I violently kicked her, I saw surprise in her

eyes. I then hit her face and she heavily fell on the

floor, further knocking her head.

"You gave me no choice. No one did." I

stripped her of her cloak and put it on.

I needed to act quickly.

80

I supposed the best way to get out of the premises

would be to take the elevator and get rid of everyone

in one way or another.

I knew Wolf would be waiting behind the door. I

needed to put him down first. I glanced back at the

tray and was getting closer to grab the syringe when I

felt someone behind me. Acute pain shot up my skull,

my ears started buzzing and a hundred stars blurred

my vision. I blacked out.

When I regained consciousness, my head was aching,

once more.

I was sitting on some metallic floor, my hands

tied to each other and further to a rope inserted in a

metal ring above my head.

Restrains again? Nothing new, I thought as I

recalled the events following my arrival here.

What …? Why did I land here?

I couldn't see anything and I didn't know where they

had taken me. This room didn't seem familiar and I

couldn't distinguish anything because of its reigning

darkness.

The only thing I remember was being with Dr.

Drest. What happened then?

I could taste blood in my mouth. The metallic

smell had even invaded my nose and my tongue. My

head was spinning sporadically at first then it became

so strong and lasting that I didn't know if it was the

room or my body that was suffering unbalance.

81

I threw up the meager breakfast my now empty

stomach had had that morning.

It felt like my body was enveloped in cotton. I

couldn't feel my legs, my eyelids were so heavy.

A concussion. You need to stay awake. I had

never suffered from it before but somehow my mind

knew what it was.

I was almost dropping off when an intense

light woke me up instantly. The door frame. I

thought.

"You badly injured one of my best doctors.

We have your best interests at heart, trust me, but

there are rules to follow here. You gave me no choice

but to restrain you."

Hearing her voice sent electric shocks

throughout my body. What was she talking about?

What did I do? I was now fully awake.

Ms. Stern was, once more, accompanied by

her two acolytes, Jeanne was still wearing her

devilish smile and her black gloves. Jared was

looking at me with murderous eyes.

"I am so disappointed. Why did you attack

Doctor Drest?" she asked me.

"I…I don't remember attacking her…I can't

have touched her, she is my friend…I swear…"

I was trying to understand what had happened. It

couldn't be…Was this another trick to manipulate

me? But what if I had really hurt Naome?

"What are we going to do with you?

Alteration hasn't worked on you obviously… It

wasn't supposed to end like this. I'm usually never

wrong…" Stern said.

82

"Wait, is Dr. Drest okay? Can I see her?" I

pleaded.

"Let me teach her a lesson" Jeanne suggested

with her French accent.

"No, let me..." finished Jared as he was

already getting near me. "She owes me one…" he

said, turning around to face Stern, asking for her

approval.

I knew he would want his revenge, but I

didn't know it would happen in such circumstances.

The only thing that could save me was buying some

time. I didn't think I could survive another blow.

"Hitting a defenseless girl? Well, that's playing

fair…" I muttered.

"You know what you're talking about. You're

everything but defenseless. I'll show you what it feels

like to be humiliated in front of an audience." Jared

finally said.

When no word came out of Stern's mouth, I

knew I had lost. So much for "Let's be more

humane" bullshit!

Jared was already squeezing his left hand into

a fist. I wouldn't beg for mercy, not to these people. I

was praying silently that he would be quick, so I

could see my parents again.

"No!" I heard. Kellan had barged into the

room. "Let me handle this," he said turning to Stern.

Kellan? What are you doing here?

He went on more composed now "You know

how long it took me to feel at home here. Let's give

her the benefit of the doubt. And I think I can help

her."

83

Of course Jared wouldn't give up on me so

easily. "If you think you can tame her Kellan, you're

more delusional than I thought."

Kellan continued as if he hadn't been cut off.

"You know I'm right. If you let Jared see this

through, you will lose what might be your best asset

here. It will also be a waste of your time and money.

You won't convince her to keep on cooperating by

using violence."

"Kellan, it's none of your …" Jeanne was

now trying to turn the conversation to her advantage.

"She's had enough." he finally said,

pretending not to have heard her.

"I'm not so sure, Kellan…" It was Stern this

time, with her frigid voice.

Why would she even listen to him?

I didn't understand why he had come here in the first

place.

"Let me supervise and train her. I'll make

sure she poses no threat. And once she's ready, you

can decide what you want to do with her." Kellan

added.

After what felt like an eternity, Stern

answered "I hope for your sake you're right. If you're

not, you'll both pay the price. Untie her and

accompany her back to her quarters. From now on

you'll be responsible for her every move…"

"But…"

"Do not contradict me, Jeanne. I made my

decision. Let's go." She turned around and exited the

room, followed by Jeanne who gave me a look of

disgust just before turning on her heels.

84

Jared hadn't moved an inch. He was staring at

his brother stiffed with icy rage. Kellan was staring

back, in a mute challenge to duel.

I knew I was far away from being out of

trouble and panic took the best of me. I felt like a

wild bird locked up in a cage too small to even spread

its wings. I was bending forward, trying to put all my

weight on my restraints, a desperate attempt to

control the situation, but nothing worked to calm me

down.

Kellan was standing in front of me.

I could trust him, couldn't I?

But how could I know he had told the truth and he

wouldn't try to get rid of me anyway?

Why would he even bother helping me?

He took a knife out of his left pocket.

Seeing Jared smiled again, I closed my eyes

and attempted to calm my nerves, I wouldn't face

death fearful if the time had come.

When I sensed Kellan close to me, when I felt his

hand still my arms, I felt his warmth and calm rushed

through my body. I wasn't scared anymore. I was

ready. Ready for what was next for me.

I was surprised to feel my knees touch the ground.

When I looked up, I saw Jared eyeing his

brother furiously.

Kellan was now helping me up, holding my

body. He put my arm around his neck and took my

hand in his. His arms were muscular and protective.

85

He didn't even seem to mind my smell, which must

have been acrid. He had probably guessed I wouldn't

be able to walk.

We were both moving forward.

I didn't say anything, afraid he might still

change his mind.

Jared was blocking the only way out. When

we were both facing him, he said "This isn't over, K.

She will pay for what she has done."

"Drop it Jared. We don't know for sure."

What the hell are they talking about?

"Fuck off!" he replied violently, then

disappeared into the hall, leaving us both behind.

My condition was slowing us down but I had to

admit I was in no hurry to go back to my room. Now

that I knew he had never intended to hurt me, being

in Kellan's arms was the only place where I had felt

safe since my arrival. I was stumbling every two

steps but he hadn't failed to hold me even tighter

every time, to prevent me from falling down and

getting hurt. I had never trusted anyone this way and

it scared me, maybe even more than the knowledge

of having no one to trust.

I could feel that the adrenalin hadn't left my

cells yet – they were keeping it like a dry sponge

retained water – my pulse was still racing and my

head painfully throbbing.

When we left the elevator on the sixth floor, I

whispered a few words "Th...Thank you."

86

"Don't thank me, we haven't reached your

door yet."

"Your brother...if you hadn't stopped him...

he would have…" The words seemed too difficult to

pronounce even if fifteen minutes before I had been

ready to accept the inevitable.

I was embarrassed at being so weak and fragile – and

added stinking on my mental list.

"Naome is in a bad shape. He wanted you to

feel the same, to experience what she's been through.

She is Jared's fiancée and one of the most decent

people in here."

If I had felt ill-at-ease two minutes before, it

was nothing compared to what I was feeling now.

"I'm so sorry I…I don't understand how…"

"I know" was all he added.

"Is she going to make it?" I asked deeply

sorry.

"Yeah, she is. She is pretty shaken though.

Stern says she doesn't recall what happened either…"

Had I messed up again? "I don't know if I can

trust anyone, myself included."

"Well, trust your intuition. What does it tell

you?"

This advice sounded vaguely familiar but I

was too confused to even start thinking about it.

I let my mind rest on my walk instead and remained

silent.

We had turned the last corner of the hall

before arriving in front of my loft, when I saw

Maggy, running to meet us.

87

Ben and Toby were still waiting in front of my

bedroom.

"What happened?" she asked almost out of

breath. "We waited for you at lunch and you never

showed up." She seemed genuinely worried.

Getting closer she saw my bruised face and realized

who was holding me.

She stepped back.

"I…" was all I could give as explanation.

"There was an incident and Wolf had to

intervene." Kellan explained.

So it had been Wolf. I was wondering what he

had used to knock me out. Well, maybe I had

deserved it.

"Oh, Faith…" she replied. "What can I do?"

she went on, her voice pleading.

"I...I guess I just need to rest for a while."

"I'll take it from here." she coldly addressed

Kellan. "Toby, Ben, give me a hand here."

They arrived running. Ben was next to me in

a second, indisputably faster than Toby.

Of course.

I sometimes forget about their ability.

"Seems that you could use a bath too…" said

Ben, mockingly taking a step backward.

"Ben, not now. Take her to her bedroom and

put her to bed." It was crystal clear as to who was in

charge with those boys. The thought made me smile.

Kellan hadn't said anything else, he just

removed his arm from my back and put mine around

Ben's. Toby then took my other arm to hold me.

88

I had had to reluctantly let go of Kellan's

warmth and strength to be led by two teenagers. But I

felt drained and didn't have the courage to protest.

When Ben and Toby had practically been

carrying me for what couldn't have been more than

ten steps, I tried to turn around to see Kellan.

All I could see was emptiness. He had gone and I

hadn't said anything.

Maggy must have interpreted my movement

as a sign of panic, because she quickly said "hurry

up, guys. She seems like she's going to pass out."

In front of my door, she tried to press the

square button on the right side of the frame but as

nothing happened, she added "Faith, we need your

fingerprint. You must have enhanced security, I can't

open the door."

Enhanced, how could I possibly have done

that?

She saw at my puzzled face that I didn't know

what she was talking about.

She interpreted my reaction rightly this time

by adding almost with a pinch of regret in her voice

"Your chip interprets all the data it receives. You

must be blocking entrance to your room to people

you don't trust."

I understood why she had sounded sad now.

I pressed my thumb on what seemed to be a different

shade of gray.

The door opened immediately.

I found the apartment just as I had left it, intact like in

my recollection.

They took me to my bedroom.

89

I was exhausted. I collapsed on my bed, not even

bothering to remove my shoes.

"Thanks boys, you can go now." Maggy

finished as she was undressing me slowly.

My struggle was over, I closed my eyes,

wishing it had all been a nightmare.

"Faith...Faith…" a man was whispering in my right

ear.

I tried to move my eyelids but they were too

heavy.

"Faith, do you hear me? I'm not going to hurt

you. I'm just checking up on you. Faith, do you trust

me?"

Half awake and half asleep, I felt him touch

my right arm under the blanket I had been covered

with. I winced as a sharp pain shot through my arm.

What is he doing in my bedroom? I thought as

darkness took me again.

I woke up peacefully, rested and focused on the task

at hand: surviving. My mind had never been so clear,

my body so responsive.

There was a bright light coming out of my

window and I could hear birds singing.

I got up, in my underwear and opened the

curtains. The view was breathtaking: a meadow full

of poppies and behind them, the sun was a strong

90

orange, ready to bright the day. Somehow this view

seemed vaguely familiar, like in a distant dream.

The only disappointment lay in the knowledge I had

that it was fake.

But my body didn't register anxiety nor gave

way to it.

I decided to take a quick trip to my bathroom

instead. I knew the way by heart.

When I entered, I quickly glanced at the mirror that

was in front of me and I opened the tap – that was

just under it – to splash some water on my face. I was

happy to see that some things were still working the

old way.

I glanced at my face more intently this time,

sensing that something had changed. I just didn't

know what. The only difference with yesterday was

my reflection: no bruise, no bump, nor shadows

under my eyes.

Then it hit me.

I had healed.

I looked at my wrists, no marks.

No headache, no soreness, no blood in my mouth

either.

Strange.

How is it possible?

I had no time to dwell on it.

Escape plans were already forming in my head. This

had gone too far.

I had to put an end to this insane experiment. I was

ready to take them all on, Stern, Jared, Jeanne and

everyone else standing in my way.

91

I was ready to do anything, I was ready to do

everything.

But first I needed to freshen up.

I saw the familiar circular shape next to my mirror. I

pressed it thinking of boots and a green shirt with

matching pants.

Ten seconds later I was clean, dressed and leaving

the bathroom.

I gave a last glance at the image of this most

cherished place and my front door gave way to a

sight I would have gladly avoided; Wolf giving me a

gloomy look, waiting for me, his hands in his

pockets, his back and his left shoe sole leaning on the

wall opposite.

Yet another change: strangely and despite

what had happened, I wasn't scared of him. I didn't

care about him or what he might do to me. And he

could know it. "My favorite person in the whole

world. It's so great to see you." I swaggered about,

greeting him sarcastically. I wasn't ready to admit it

to him but I was also grateful for he had maybe

stopped me in time.

I recognized surprise on his face, but as usual,

he didn't say anything.

Instead he made a forty-five-degree turn and started

leading the way to the entrance of the elevator.

After a five-minute walk to last corner of this

lugubrious hall, I could distinguish the light of an

open door at the end of it.

Still following Wolf, I kept up the pace to see what it

was. He didn't seem to slow down, but on the

contrary seemed to be in a hurry.

92

When I arrived near the bright frame, I slowly

turned my head on the side to glance at what Wolf

apparently wanted to avoid.

Then, I saw her.

With him.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as I was

crushed by the vision of Jeanne's arms around

Kellan, a grin on her face, when she turned around to

look straight at me.

Kellan's hands were holding hers.

He seemed as surprised to see me as I was.

I quickly looked down and went on walking

pretending nothing had happened.

I tried to speed up to catch up with my jailer.

Honestly, what was I expecting? He hadn't

said anything, he had just bought some time so I

could become Stern's puppet when I was ready. But

Jeanne. That was what was bugging me the most, or

was it? Why her? She was just so cruel and perfectly

cold or coldly perfect (I was still hesitating between

both). I couldn't picture them together without

feeling disgusted.

I was walking even faster now, and entered

the elevator, trying to leave behind what I had just

witnessed. But I couldn't.

When I was inside, I risked a backward

glance at the hall and saw Kellan.

He was running to us, calling my name, asking me to

wait.

I pressed the button to go to the dining room

and looked down again pretending I hadn't heard

anything.

93

I didn't want to register Wolf's presence and

apparently he didn't either for we were both looking

at our feet, waiting for the elevator to come to a halt.

My reaction to what I had witnessed was

embarrassing enough, let alone showing it to anyone,

so I really appreciated his silence for once.

As soon as the doors turned translucent, I was

ready to hurry down, hoping to meet Maggy and her

crew when Wolf held my right arm tightly and said

"I'll be waiting for you in thirty minutes to escort you

for your doctor's appointment. Don't be late."

And he left me behind, aghast.

Trying to find my composure, I was slowly

advancing in the dining room when I spotted Maggy

at a table on the left. They were at least forty people

in the dining room – staff members I barely

recognized – eating and talking animatedly. The

decoration was totally different from last time. The

walls were a mix of apple green and white today,

with vases full of lilies, on every table, spreading

their smell everywhere – artificial smell. The

windows were displaying wide grass plains – the

picture that may emerge thinking about breakfast on

a farmyard in the American Midwest.

When they saw me, all the conversations

stopped, everyone turned around to observe me with

contempt, making their chair legs grate the new

metallic floor.

I had felt uncomfortable at the news of

Naome's state, but I was dying from shame at that

moment.

94

"Sit down with us Faith." Maggy's voice was

defying everyone's silent protest.

"Hi Maggy, hi guys." I said.

I was thankful for her trust and fearless

temper.

People started talking to each other again.

"You seem…different today" was the

sentence Ben greeted me with.

"Nothing like beauty sleep" I added.

"Are you okay?" Maggy was still preoccupied

by my health.

"I'm better, thanks."

"You were in such a bad shape yesterday. I

was really afraid you wouldn't be able to walk

anymore." she added.

"It seemed worse than it really was. Don't

worry about me. But thanks for your help, you too

guys."

"Strange, you don't even have any bruise

left…" It was Toby this time, always noticing things

he wasn't supposed to, I imagined.

"I'm a fast healer." I answered, sensing again

what I had this morning – I was different.

Something must have happened, this fast healing

process wasn't normal at all. Maybe this was it, the

result of my alteration?

This would be convenient, as if nature itself had

known I was clumsy.

I smiled inwardly.

I opted for a change of subject "What is with all the

flowers? It wasn't at all decorated like this

yesterday."

95

"Lilies are Dr. Drest's favorites" Toby broke

off. "It's our way of telling her that we think about

her."

I was mortified.

"I'm sure she will be better soon." Maggy

was once more trying to reassure me.

As I was standing, Maggy looked at me

quizzically, so I felt the need to explain "I'm

starving, do you need anything?" but I had already

left for the buffet without waiting for their answers.

Muffins and coffee? That would certainly cheer me

up. I took a plate and was about to help myself when

someone grabbed my left arm.

"We need to talk." It was Kellan, his voice icy

cold, still holding my arm.

"Let go of me, I have nothing to say to you."

Why was I so angry? This was the guy who had

saved me the night before. The least I could do was

being polite. What was more, I was also short of

friends for the moment.

But how could I be nice to the guy who was dating

Jeanne? How could he be with her in the first place?

"Let's go!" Kellan was still holding me by the

arm, now pulling me with him to the elevator. I was

struggling but he was too strong. His grip tightened at

each attempt of escaping him.

I saw Maggy standing, not knowing what to

do. She too was now struggling, against Toby,

who was restraining her, holding her two arms and

silencing her with an extremely dark look.

96

All this happened quickly, I could see people

smiling at Kellan – certainly hoping for retaliation for

what I had done to Naome. No one dared do

anything, no one said a word. They were just staring

contently at us, thinking that I deserved what Kellan

had planned to make me endure.

Wolf was still guarding the elevator door.

Instead of remaining silent like he used to, he was the

only one who said something while gripping Kellan's

free wrist "I was asked to escort her."

Not seemingly alarmed by this, Kellan simply

answered "Not anymore. Check it with Stern."

Of all the people present in the dining room, Wolf

was the only one eyeing Kellan furiously. But I had

this strong feeling that it had nothing to do with me.

Kellan released me when we were alone in the

elevator.

"Stop fighting everyone who wants to help!"

he said out of breath, almost angrily.

"Why don't you run back to creepy blondie

and leave me alone?" Maybe I wasn't strong enough

to fight him but I wouldn't let him treat me like this.

"How are you feeling?" he asked out of the

blue.

I was caught off guard by his question but I

was determined to make it difficult for him. I opted

for the silence treatment.

"Answer my question."

"Why do you want to know?" I asked.

"Just answer the damn question."

97

"I'm fine, why?" I answered, as furious as he

was.

"I'm responsible for your training, I need to

know when we can start."

He wanted to beat the hell out of me,

possibly, but I sensed this wasn't the only reason.

"We'll begin right after your appointment

then."

The door melted away and I realized I hadn't

paid attention to the floor number while exiting the

elevator but I recognized the color on the walls.

Kellan kept on talking while leading the way.

"You will have the same routine every day: breakfast

at nine, appointment with Professor Bochi at nine-

thirty, then training till lunch time. In the afternoon,

we'll train your fighting skills. We'll finish every day

with one hour swimming. You will have to do what I

say when I say it or I'll let my brother do whatever

the hell he wants to do to you. Understood?"

I nodded.

"Do you have any question?"

"No Sir!" I replied, mocking him.

"Then go on, it's the second room on the

right. I'll be waiting for you right here."

"Wait, I do have a question. How is Naome?

Is she better? Can I see her?" I asked seriously this

time.

"She is being debriefed at the moment. Jared

should be next to see her."

"If you talk to her, will you tell her that I'm

sorry?"

98

I still didn't recall what I had done to Naome, but one

thing was certain, I sorely missed her. And with that

request, I hesitantly approached the star shape on the

right and glanced at Kellan, unsure of where I was

supposed to push.

He nodded.

Brown-eyed gray-haired Professor Bochi was in his

sixties. He seemed serious and cold – in the exact

image of his hostess. At least it was what he looked

like in the photos all over his office walls – posing

with men in suits, and other men in white I didn't

recognize.

But he wasn't alone in his office. A beautiful

assistant was present, apparently to brighten his days

or his mood for she hadn't stopped smiling since I

entered. "Please sit down, Professor Bochi will be

with you in a minute…" she said from her white

desk.

I sat down on the brown sofa in front of her.

This office was huge and made of three smaller

rooms all linked to each other by tinted glass. Each

wall was decorated with three brown stripes

separating bigger beige ones.

Professor Bochi's secretary was everything

you would expect a secretary to be; blonde,

manicured and wearing a beige suit matching her

surroundings. I noticed her earphone displayed a

green light when she subsequently added "He's ready

for you. First room."

99

I stood up and followed her instructions. The

glass panel disappeared when I faced it, entirely

opening the space in front of me.

"Please sit down on the auscultation chair."

The door turned opaque again.

Professor Bochi was giving his orders without

even looking at me. "I'll start with your wound."

I could see and hear him put on

protective gloves from the leather chair. The tools

were exactly the same as in Doctor Drest's office.

"You're in for disappointment, there is

nothing left." I said.

"Let me see that for myself, will you?" And

with this last remark, he silenced me totally for the

rest of the appointment. He put on surgical gloves

like Naome had done for the past weeks and started

his checkup.

"I see" was all he said after checking my head.

"Did you have any other scar that might have

disappeared as well?"

"No…" was all I replied.

"Any more headaches?"

"Not since I was hit on the head, no" I was

now openly making fun of him but he stayed

impassive.

"Yes, your chip recorded acute pain. Did you

receive any medication yesterday, painkillers, in any

form whatsoever?"

"You mean pills?"

"Yes, that, or injections?"

"Not that I recall…" Saying this, I

spontaneously flexed my right arm.

100

It had to mean something for Professor Bochi

immediately checked it, turning my hand from left to

right and vice versa. He used the same procedure

with the left one and finished this checkup by saying

"Well, it's inconclusive for the moment but ...you

could be our next healer."

I could be what?

My question remained unanswered as

Professor Bochi was now pointing at a chair in front

of his desk. "That will be it. Please have a seat over

there."

I felt uncomfortable in this cold, modern

chair, waiting for this stranger to analyze me some

more.

"As you are well aware, we are to meet every

day at the same time, to register any alteration in your

condition. Your chip is still sending information that

I can use, so if there is any major modification, I will

know it."

"Did my chip record anything on the day I

was with Doctor Drest?" I asked him.

"That will be it. You may go now."

Who did he think he was? What I wouldn't do

to have Naome in front of me again…

I was in a hurry to get out of here. I just stood up and

left without pronouncing a single sound, going across

the protective glass, accelerating while passing the

secretary who fixed me with her beatific smile.

This whole experience had been unpleasant like

every single one of them since I had arrived at this

facility.

101

This was a real nightmare and I hoped I would wake

up soon, having had my share of insanity and

humiliation for a lifetime.

I found Kellan where I had left him. My face

must have betrayed me for he had the courtesy of

asking me about the appointment. "Everything

okay?"

"I don't want to talk about it" I answered

blushing, immediately stopping the conversation. I

decided to avoid his gaze.

"As you want. Let's go to the gym, then.

Follow me."

We were on the seventh floor, the walls not differing

from the rest of the facility that was so dark.

Kellan led the way to a square room, entirely

gloomy except for the light coming out of the

metallic floor. There was a sort of a gray rubber band

in the middle of the room.

"We're going to start slowly, and increase your

stamina. You will start by running thirty-five minutes

today, forty tomorrow and you will go to an hour

every day."

"I've never been a good runner…"

"Good, bad, it's all relative. Running is just a

matter of perseverance and will." he assured me.

"Wait, I'm not even dressed properly" I

quickly said, almost already out of breath.

"It doesn't matter. Stand here" he added

indicating the square band in front of me.

102

When I was ready, he added "Now close your eyes

and focus. Breathe in, breathe out. Picture some calm

and quiet place. Somewhere you've been to, some

place where you can feel free."

Easier said than done. I thought. How could I

feel free when I was imprisoned here for no reason?

If my mum had been there, she would have told me

to be patient and to wait for the right moment. She

would have taken me for a walk and we would have

talked for hours to find a solution, she would have

listened and understood.

"Alright, open your eyes now."

"How…?" I was speechless. It was exactly

like I remembered. The pier and waterfront, protected

by the majestic white and red striped lighthouse,

warning the boats to stay away from the shore, the

sand dunes enveloping it, breaking waves on the

beach. I could smell the sea and feel the wind on my

face. I could hear seagulls fighting over a mussel on

my right and boat engines roaring while leaving the

harbor and waves behind.

I had known this place my entire childhood but had

never dared come back after their accident. This

place was too connected to them even though it was

full of happy memories. Newport had witnessed the

best of my holidays, my eternal walks on the beach

and our ice-cream breaks but it also held the sharp

reminder of what I had lost.

"Your chip can only materialize places you

know well. The runner will adapt to your speed", he

explained pointing at what I remembered was the

gray band under my feet.

103

"It's not a usual landscape" he further said,

disguising his question.

"It's in Europe. I used to go there every

summer with my parents" was all I could say.

"Now try to find your rhythm, start slowly

then accelerate a little bit."

"But I'm not…" Then I realized my outfit

was adequate for running, as I was wearing a pair of

sneakers, a blue sleeveless shirt and dark blue shorts.

This instant wardrobe was proving time-saving, plus

I had never liked shopping. I smiled to myself.

I followed Kellan's instructions, as he was running

next to me in this timeless landscape, where the trees,

flowers and plants of the nearby park were

dissipating like smoke when you touched them.

Everything seemed so real, that I risked venturing on

the pier and back.

Kellan rarely broke our silent running, except

with more instructions "Faster... Breathe out deeply...

Find your own pace…"

I didn't protest even though I didn't like being

bossed around. I thought I couldn't run and talk at the

same time anyway.

After thirty-five minutes sharp, he said

"Alright, slow down now. Let's walk for ten minutes.

How did it feel?"

"Alright, I guess."

"We need to stretch before your next training.

Raise your arms, as high as you can. Try to stand on

your tiptoes. Hold this position as long as you can.

104

Okay, stand straight, feet touching each other. Now

raise your arms again, this time try to touch your feet

without flexing your knees. Good."

Good? It was his first word of encouragement

since we had started training.

"Why don't you tell me about them?" he

asked, continuing his stretching exercises.

"About whom?" I answered standing up and

totally startled by his question.

"Your parents…" he insisted.

I went on stretching as well because I didn't want

him to see my grief.

"Well, they died, there is nothing much to

tell."

"How did they die?"

Now that was enough, he was going too far.

"Why do you want to know?" I replied angrily.

"You lost them both at the same time…"

"How do you know they died together?" I

retorted.

"I read your file..." was all he said.

"You did what?"

"Stern has a file on all of us. She gave it to me

when I took responsibility for you."

"If you know the answer, why do you ask the

question?" I said matter-of-factly.

"Touché" was all he could reply.

I was pissed at him for reading my personal

data, but Kellan had been the only one who stood up

for me, so I added "They died coming back home

105

with our Christmas tree. It was our family tradition –

the three of us decorating a real tree.

The whole apartment would smell of pine. We would

wrap all the presents we had bought for each other

and give them on the twenty-fifth as soon as we got

up."

After a short break I continued "They were so selfless

and generous that they would also buy presents for

our neighbors or my school mates and invite over

those who were alone that day. They raised me as

their own daughter even though they could have

enjoyed their time together, without me. They

adopted me when I was still young." I was smiling,

recalling these events. "My mum had foreseen a huge

party for my graduation." Recalling her kindness was

too difficult, so I tried to concentrate on the facts

instead.

"I refused to go buying that damned tree, I was too

busy being selfish. So they did it. Apparently they

were driving too fast on their way back home and lost

control of their vehicle. It should have been me in

that fucking car… I killed them…"

I continued "And you know what the worst part is?

Such decent people died the worst of deaths; their

engine caught fire after the impact and they burnt,

stuck in their car."

That will silence him for a while, I thought to myself.

"I'm sorry…" he replied after two minutes.

That was the last thing I expected from him.

So he has a heart… Touché! I further thought.

"Don't be. You didn't put snow on the road that day,

and you certainly didn't light the fire."

106

"No, I mean, I'm sorry it hurt you so much."

And just like this all my anger turned into

gratefulness, for him and what he had said, his

honesty for telling me about the file and for

understanding what I had been through.

"Let's go back to work" he had brought me

back to reality, all formal again.

"I would like you to close your eyes. But this time,

imagine a bike, as light as a feather, convenient on all

kinds of surfaces – mountains, hills, rocks…"

I did as I was told.

"Perfect. Now open your eyes."

Was it the chip? One thing was certain, it was

really convenient. I found myself sitting on the

comfortable saddle of a gray bike with black tires, it

was like sitting on a sofa.

And there passed our second training, a forty-five

minute ride, in my past and in silence except for the

usual words of advice. Maybe there was not much to

tell about my life anymore, or maybe I was too

stunned by his change of mood every two minutes, or

I didn't trust him enough yet to ask him personal

questions. But I could sense that something had

shifted between us and that he wasn't at all the

unemotional prick he pretended to be.

Somehow this morning had passed at the speed of

light. I had had the time to shower in the training

room and I was famished.

107

We were both back in the dining room when

Kellan said "There is something I need to do. Let's

meet in an hour – on the seventh floor."

"Wait, are you going to see Naome? Can I go

with you?" I tried.

The elevator door turned opaque, carrying

Kellan with it before he could answer.

Well, that was new; leaving me alone in the

premises after what happened? Let's make the most

of it I thought.

The scenery had been the same since the

morning but I was surprisingly getting used to the

awkward looks and whispers of the people around

me. In fact, it almost felt like high school again, too

straightforward and uncompromising to be popular. I

smiled inwardly.

Still decided to ignore their smirks, I went

straight to the buffet table. Fish day? Great for a

vegetarian... I was decorating my plate with all the

colors of a rainbow – beetroot, cabbage, lemon, corn,

tomatoes and all sorts of sauces.

But suddenly I heard "Isn't that Wonder

Woman? Shouldn't you be training to save us all?"

Jeanne said with her self-satisfied smirk. Still

wearing a black mini skirt, she was probably trying to

provoke me.

I wouldn't let her win this time. "What's your

problem?" I asked.

"What's my problem?" she repeated. "My

problem is that you and your useless ass are looting

the whole food supply and we won't have anything

else to eat.

108

But I understand, beating up people certainly whets

your appetite! You must be starving, you bitch."

That was it, I had had enough. Not responding

to provocation was one thing but she had crossed a

limit, I wouldn't let her insult me. "Well, at least I'm

not the one dressing like a slut just to draw attention."

That should shut her up I thought.

As I turned back to the buffet, willing to

ignore her, I had only had the time to notice that she

had grasped a glass to throw its content at my face.

Trying to limit the damage, I protected it with my

right hand when I felt a warm wind blowing.

As I expected my hair to be full of juice, I was

surprised to realize it was dry and, my clothes too. I

opened my eyes to see what had happened.

Maggy was on my right, both her arms

stretched out in front of her and Jeanne was

thundering forth, calling her names.

"If you don't want all the glasses of this room

emptied on your face, I suggest you calm down and

don't bother us again."

"She had it coming" Jeanne finished.

Then I saw her taking her tray and leaving us

to sit down at a table, alone. "What was that? I didn't

know you were so…powerful…" I said to Maggy.

"I just turned juice into steam, nothing

extraordinary." She went on "Why was Jeanne so

pissed at you?"

"Well, now she is pissed at both of us…"

"Don't worry, I've never liked her anyway,

she is so full of herself…" She was trying to reassure

me.

109

"I think it has something to do with me…

training with Kellan."

"And what sort of training are you referring

to?" she asked smiling.

We both burst into laughter, not paying

attention to our suspicious surroundings.

"What are you having?" she further asked.

"Shrimp salad, without the shrimps" I

answered.

"Yum, it seems good. I'll have some too."

When she was all set, she headed for the table at the

far end of the room where Toby and Ben were

already devouring their lunch. I followed her.

"What was that all about?" asked Ben when

we both sat down in front of him.

"Nothing really, Jeanne being her usual

bitch." Maggy joked.

"You're right, it's nothing new!" he

answered. "How is Mister Universe?" Ben asked,

turning to me now.

"Who are you talking about?"

"Are you kidding me? Even Jeanne is trying

to put her hands all over him when she has the

chance." It was Toby this time, all serious, lifting up

his head, looking straight at me from the opposite

side of the table.

"Well, I don't know about you Ben but I need

more than a few muscles to get all excited…"

I replied to the comment, looking back at Toby.

"Well-said, sister! I totally agree, let's add a

good tan, and we have a winner" said Ben, laughing.

Toby looked away.

110

What's his problem? My eyes asked Maggy's.

She answered by shrugging her shoulders.

Then she changed the subject "Are you ready for

tonight?"

Tonight? What is so special about tonight?

"We could all meet in front of elevator

number two at... around seven?"

"Let's say seven thirty, I need to practice

some new moves" said Ben.

"Whatever…" Toby added.

"What are you all talking about?" I finally

decided to ask.

Maggy answered this time "Do you know

which day it is today?"

"I don't have a clue." I had forgotten to check

my board this morning, as usual.

"We are on the fourth...July the fourth…"

Already? ... Keep track of time, keep track of

time ...Independence Day...I thought as I remembered

my History class with Ms. Tollet. I knew it meant a

big celebration but I wasn't exactly sure what we

would be able to do at the bottom of the ocean.

"Faith, is seven thirty okay for you?" asked

Maggy.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea…considering

what happened…" I replied.

"Don't be ridiculous. If you don't show up, it

will give people another incentive to talk about

you…"

"I don't know…"

"Come on…" Ben further insisted.

111

"Okay, I guess. What's the dress code?" I

asked.

"I'm going for sexy but comfortable" said

Maggy.

"Alright, I'll see what I can do…" and I

smiled.

"Okay. I hope I can be ready on time…" she

added, "I've got training the whole afternoon."

"The whole afternoon?" I ventured.

"Of course, I need to improve my alteration

skills if I want to be able to serve the country."

"Looks like you can manage alright …" I

added.

"It's not enough, we need to progress. People

are dying everywhere and we can do something about

it. "

Stern must have given her the same speech.

How can you convince such an innocent girl to spoil

her life? What about these guys? They didn't even

flinch. Are they ready to sacrifice their life too?

They're so young. I need to get out of here and fast

or they will have their way and I couldn't imagine

giving them what they wanted.

Patience, patience.

I need to calm down and wait for the right moment.

Yes, the right moment.

"Who's training with you?" It occurred to me that I

didn't know anything about other trainers.

"We all have personal trainers and doctors"

said Toby. "Except for you and Jared.

You share the same doctor and a lot of other things,

as I see it", he added smiling.

112

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked

angrily, I really didn't like his tone.

"It means you both share a true fascination for

his brother…"

"What?" I asked puzzled.

"Sorry to tell you that Jeanne beat you to it!"

he continued.

"Stop it!" I said so loudly than everyone

turned around to look at us.

"Hey, don't kill the messenger" he pleaded

his hands up. "Don't give up hope, you have a lot in

common with Jeanne. You're both attention seekers

and I'm not the only one who thinks that way."

"Toby, shut up. You don't know what you're

talking about!" Maggy said.

"If you want to take my place, Toby, be my

guest. I've never asked for any of this." I replied.

"Bullshit! And your powers, nothing so far,

really?" he said, standing up and taking his tray. "I

don't know what all the fuss is about, you're

probably not worth it." Turning to Maggy, he added

"Wake up guys! Life goes on…"

"Toby, what's come over you?" asked

Maggy, glancing at him incredulously.

"You're all so full of shit." Having said that,

he left the table and sat down at Jeanne's,

on the opposite corner. I looked at Ben and Maggy,

not knowing what to say.

"Never mind him!" Ben said while Maggy's

eyes were watering.

113

I decided to intervene. "I'm sorry Maggy. The

last thing I wanted was to make you cry. I'm gonna

go now."

"No, stay!" she pleaded, taking my sleeve and

forcing me to sit down again. "It has nothing to do

with you. Please, don't go. Toby wants… something

I can't give him. That's all."

"Oh" was all I could say. "He'll get over it,

you'll see." After two seconds, I realized that it may

have sounded a bit harsh. "Not that I'm implying he

can easily get over you, that's not what I meant...I'm

sure it takes a long time...but it will pass quickly.

Jeez, sorry... It's none of my business…" I was trying

to justify myself when I saw Maggy smiling, then

bursting into laughter, followed by Ben. I surrendered

too.

"Oh girl, we have to work on your people

skill..." Ben added and we laughed even more.

Everyone was looking at us but we didn't

care. We went on pretending there were just the three

of us in the dining room that day.

"What time is it?" I finally asked.

Ben answered by pointing at the clock on the

wall, still laughing.

"I need to go now or I'll be late. See you

guys, at seven thirty then?"

"See you." they both said at the same time.

Kellan wasn't there when I arrived at our

meeting point.

114

What is he doing?

After what seemed like five minutes I decided to go

exploring the floor. But soon I realized that I was

totally lost for I had discovered it this morning for the

first time; here again there was no door, no entrance

to no room whatsoever, no noise, no life.

I rested a little bit, leaning on the wall when I heard

some footsteps. The sound was faint at first then

growing louder.

"Hello? Who's there?" I asked several times.

There was no answer. I could hear steps even more

clearly now. Panic started gripping me, my throat,

accelerating my heartbeat.

I was alone, felt exposed and totally defenseless. I

started running into the opposite direction in the hope

of finding back the elevator. My breath was coming

in short gasps now as I was slowly giving way to

panic. I risked a last glance behind, not knowing what

was in front of me when I violently hit something or

someone. I quickly turned around, pressing my hand

against my left temple. Another bruise certainly.

"Faith? What's going on?" It was Kellan.

"Someone is following me…" I said trying to

catch my breath.

"Stay here." he demanded.

"No! Don't leave me alone!" I shouted. I

caught his sleeve and added "Let's go. It's probably

nothing. Please. Forget it."

And for once he listened to me.

We had found our way back to the training

room but it had nothing to do with the place I

recalled.

115

The boxing ring that had just appeared dispelled any

doubt as to the nature of my training.

"Okay. Let's start." he commanded.

"Wait, I need to change…" I said

embarrassed.

"Don't worry, the gym is reactive to my chip

now. Just stand on the gray band here and close your

eyes, it will know what you need to wear."

I followed Kellan's instructions and was

ready in less than two minutes. I was wearing red

shorts, a white shirt with black boxing gloves, and

my hair in a ponytail. I felt ready but nothing could

have prepared me for such an extensive training.

"What is this place?" I asked. This gym

smelled of sweat and blood, with wooden floor and

very small windows that were so dirty and so high

that we couldn't catch sight of anything outside. The

ring was imposing in this enclosed space.

"It's the place where I used to train, a long

time ago, in another life." he answered.

"Where was it?"

"New York" was his final answer and I didn't

dare ask for more.

He came to stand in front of me.

I was feeling my heart pounding. Why was I

so nervous?

"We're going to start with your stance. There

are some rules you need to follow. You're right-

handed I think?"

"Yes…"

116

"Alright. Both feet on the floor, try to

distribute your weight across both legs. Hands up,

elbows down. Here, let me show you."

As he was helping me find the right posture I

could feel tension in my arms on every part of skin he

touched. I had never experienced anything like this

before. It was like waiting for the next shot of

adrenalin, so full of promise and excitement at the

same time.

"Hold your head behind your gloves, chin

slightly down. You need to be able to see over your

gloves. Breathe!" he gave as last word of advice.

"Easy for you to say. It's a lot of information

at the same time. I've never done any of this before."

"Relax. It will come naturally after a while.

To go forward or left, step with your left foot first

and then drag the right foot after."

Keep your eyes off him, keep your eyes off

him!

"To go backward or right, step with your right

foot first and then drag the left foot after."

"Like this?"

"Yes, exactly. This is the basic boxing

footwork. It ensures that your weight is grounded and

that you are always ready to attack or defend

yourself."

Oh Gosh, please don't let my eyes betray me.

"Now, to throw punches, you need to

remember one thing; exhale as you throw the punch

and make sure your other hand protects the rest of

your body…Try on my hands. One, two. One, two."

Don't think, don't think. Empty your mind.

117

"Good, now on the bag. Again! This time

tighten your fist at impact. Like this!"

"Okay" I timidly answered.

"All boxing punches are in fact a variation of

straight punches; for hook punches you simply hold

your elbow sideways, for uppercut punches, you keep

your elbow down..."

As Kellan was explaining all the basic rules

of this sport, I could see his eyes alight with

excitement and knowledge which rendered him even

more alluring.

What is wrong with you? Stop it!

"...and don't forget to finish with your feet at

the same distance."

I needed to turn my thoughts to something else than

his torso if I wanted to remember anything.

"Now let's try some combinations…"

I kept on practicing the moves he had taught

me, again and again for two hours, with and without

the heavy bag.

Nothing could stop my mind from preying on him.

Oh my Gosh, I'm falling for him.

I'm falling for Kellan?

"Here take another sip." he said, handing me my

bottle of water, after a shower in our separate tubes.

I had gone for regular clothes this time –

black shirt, jeans with black thong sandals.

"How come you managed to make bottles and food

appear out of nowhere?"

118

It was better to turn my mind to practical matters

instead of letting it wander and then end up focusing

on what I had sworn to forget from now on.

"There is a fridge in this room, I didn't make

anything appear." He smiled. "Even if I wish I

could…"

But my curiosity was far from being satisfied.

"When my chip was reactive, and we were running,

everything turned into smoke at my touch. Why?"

"Your chip allows your brain to give you the

illusion that you are somewhere else, but it cannot

create more space than was offered at the start. And

your vision was blurry at first because your mind

wasn't used to being tricked yet or your memory of

that place was too hazy to give clear images.

Remember the gray band? We are still standing on it,

it is moving when we think about moving, turning

when we think about turning. Your chip just

interprets the information it receives and transcripts it

in 4D images."

I wasn't convinced. "You said the chip cannot

create more space, what about my apartment? I slept

in a small room on the day I arrived and it expanded

the next day."

"It didn't expand, it was just an optical

illusion. Trust me, your apartment has always been

that big." he explained.

"How do you know so much about this

place?" I wondered.

"I've been here for a while and I know the

right person to ask …."

119

"Have you seen Naome?" I asked out of the

blue.

"No one has, Stern's orders… But I'm sure

she's feeling better already. Don't worry. Ready for

your last activity?"

"Yes, I guess…"

It was so strange, I had never been the athletic type

but somehow, after all this training, even though I

could feel my muscles had been working all day, they

weren't sore at all. I was hungry for more.

"This is the funny part. Watch!" he added.

I couldn't believe it, in front of me different shades of

blue were slowly forming to depict the clear picture

of a vast ocean. My feet were tickling with the

feeling of water washing them. All around us pure

white sand was invading the rest of the landscape

with palm trees disparately organized alongside the

beach. The soft breeze on my face was refreshing.

"Where are we?" I asked him, not recognizing

this landscape nor its milky whiteness.

"I used to come here as a child. We're in

Daytona. Well, we're not technically there but you

know what I mean."

"I feel the sun on my skin and the water at my

feet, how is that possible?"

"There is an actual tank of salty water in this

room, with a strong current, to give the impression of

swimming forward when you go deeper in the water.

Another perk for taking part in this program I guess,

you can go on holiday whenever you want." He

smiled, but this time, at me.

120

I couldn't think of anything else than him, his

warm eyes, his hands, on me... It made me so

ashamed that I started watching my feet. At this point

I was made aware that I was wearing a black

swimming suit with a plunging neckline and lace at

the top. I started blushing.

"I hope you don't mind, I thought you

wouldn't have fancied a flashy bikini."

I remained mute.

"Let's go! Two more hours" he said breaking

the awkward silence.

I ran in the water and dived to cover my body

as quickly as possible.

"See you tonight?" I asked Kellan before he could

disappear around the corner.

"Yes, I'll meet you there."

"Great." After two seconds I called his name

"Kellan?"

He reappeared.

"Thank you for today. You made me feel...

normal again…"

"You're... welcome…" he answered smiling,

leaving the hall for good this time.

Before entering my apartment I wanted to check

something. I concentrated, thinking about the bunk

bed I had been sleeping on and the room it had been

in.

My door opened and I was back in the bunker I had

slept in for my first night here.

121

I needed to see for myself what Kellan had meant by

optical illusion.

I touched the wall, starting by the corner near the

door and arrived near the bed.

So far everything was normal but when I arrived at

the end of the bed, my hand only met emptiness. It

was so strange, my eyes could see a wall that didn't

exist. The room was giving way to another one

without me ever noticing.

Clever I thought.

I closed my eyes again and thought about home.

CHAPTER 5 –

A Light in the Dark

122

Tonight, the board mentioned:

4th July

7 p.m. meeting point 9

th

floor.

5th July

9'30 a.m. Dr. Bochi,

10'30 - 12'30 training 1

1'30-3'30 fighting

4'00-6 p.m. training 2

6th July

9'30 a.m. Dr. Bochi,

10'30 - 12'30 training 1

1'30-3'30 fighting

4'00-6 p.m. training 2

6'24, I have more or less an hour to get ready. More

than enough!

I went into the bathroom, decided to rinse my salty

skin and pressed on the circular shape to take my last

shower of the day. When I was ready, I opted for the

classical black dress but it was too long.

Maybe a little bit shorter, with some cleavage,

but not too much?

The sewing machine was once more following the

exact mental picture I had of the perfect dress.

More glitter. I was now wearing a beautiful

sparkling necklace, with matching earrings in the

shape of tears and my dress was encrusted with small

diamonds.

Too much with the diamonds. My dress had

turned to pure black again but this time my hair was

up, held by a tiara.

Better. I thought.

Wait, too much fabric at the back...

I had now the perfect cleavage at the front and a low

cut at the back with high heels.

123

I was ready.

Only make up was missing.

Let's try it. I thought.

I pictured an old photo of Audrey Hepburn I had on

my journal back home.

The tube reappeared and when I checked in the

mirror, it had drawn smoky eyes with a small line of

eyeliner.

Okay.

Now the only thing to do was waiting for Maggy.

At seven thirty sharp and after forty-five minutes of

ceaseless walk in my living room to calm my nerves,

I decided to go waiting outside.

Maggy was already there, escorted by Ben.

She was wearing a gorgeous sparkly dress, imprinted

with the American flag. Her hair was held in a bun

and she was wearing marvelous blue and red earrings

perfectly matching her dress.

Ben was totally overdressed with a shiny dark

blue tuxedo and a hat, resembling Uncle Sam's on his

war propaganda poster We want you. Of course Toby

was a no-show.

"Waooo Faith, you look...you're

breathtaking…" she complimented me.

"Thanks Maggy. You look amazing too" was

all I could say. "Ben, I see you surpassed yourself

again" I added chuckling.

"Wait till you see me for New Year's Eve!"

he answered winking at me.

124

New Year? I can't stay here till New Year!

It's in six months! How can they agree to go on living

like that? Haven't they realized real life is outside

this prison? Don't they have any hopes or dreams for

themselves?

"Ladies, shall we?" Ben added, taking a bow

and presenting me with his hand. I took it gratefully

as we were heading for the party.

Nothing was really special about the ninth floor. It

was dark when the elevator door turned translucent

and the lit candles floating at the surface of each

bowl were showing us the way to another room.

But what was more surprising was the

translucent tunnel following this first room. The

Plexiglas in the shape of an arc was surmounted by

small lights and all around us we could distinguish

fish, all sorts of fish. I had almost forgotten we were

in the middle of the Indian Ocean.

"It's incredible. Have you been here before?"

I asked.

"This floor is my favorite. Every party is

organized here" answered Maggy.

"Come on girls, we're late..." said Ben.

There seemed to be no end to it. I could feel

my curiosity arousing as I didn't know what to expect

next. After more or less sixty feet I could see light,

sunlight. I had never seen any view like this. The

concrete led us to a walk alongside a river. In the

distance we could admire an immense bridge. The

candles were still indicating the path to follow.

125

"New York, New York" Ben exclaimed. On a

sign next to the inviting flashy green grass we could

read Brooklyn Park. It smelled like fresh cut grass

and sun cream, with a pinch of salt in the air.

"Great choice" he added.

On the lawn and the prolonged path on water

I counted fifty people approximately. They were all

elegantly dressed, mostly in red, white and blue.

Butlers were wearing white suits with gloves and

were offering their guests champagne glasses and

appetizers. We could hear people talk relentlessly and

animatedly, or burst into laughter, all their

conversation being sometimes interrupted by the

twitter of birds.

However, when we arrived, they all stared at

me – and among them I saw Wolf giving me a severe

look. I stole a glance at Maggy and Ben. I was frozen

in my tracks but determined not to lower my eyes.

"Yeah, that's right, baby, the party has

arrived!" Ben shouted. And five seconds later

everyone went back to attending their business.

"Never mind them" whispered Maggy, "You

have all the right to be here. Don't worry."

I was grateful for their presence and support

but I was surprised to realize that I was looking for

somebody else in the crowd.

We found a nice place on the grass and sat down, cut

off from the crowd who was near the water.

The firework was due at nine thirty and time was

flying with these two. Ben couldn't stop cracking

jokes and mocking the waiters around us.

126

Memories of their best 4th of July were exchanged

but nothing too personal.

The food was delicious – spring rolls, fried shrimps –

not that I had tasted these but they had received the

approval of both Ben and Maggy – their appetizers

bathing in cognac sauce...

However it appeared to be impossible to get

drunk insisted Ben. "This fucking chip is controlling

everything from my sugar level to the amount of

wind I'm supposed to let out after a nice warm meal.

Tell me about freedom."

Maggy was laughing even more loudly.

But there was still no sign of Kellan. I felt

stupid for thinking he would have come, for

thinking...I didn't know what I had expected exactly.

Maggy stood up suddenly "I'll be right back."

"Hey, don't be too long, it's getting dark, the

fireworks are certainly about to start" I said.

"Don't worry, I just need to find the

restrooms...to get rid of all this alcohol that won't get

me drunk." She winked at Ben.

Everyone had stood up awaiting the big event.

We followed their example for once. I was taken

aback by the first explosion in the blackened sky ten

minutes afterwards. It was silver and bright,

illuminating Big Apple in the background.

The crowd was now cheering and clapping for each

new artificial star.

I turned around to see if Maggy was near, Ben

certainly didn't seem preoccupied. No sign of her.

127

Where are you? You're missing the best part of the

show. I thought.

It was taking too long.

I turned around to signal to Ben that I was

going to fetch Maggy when I felt a hand restraining

my right arm. I jumped with surprise.

"Hey!" I shouted.

"Come with me, now!" my assailant said

aggressively, dragging me away.

I was protesting, trying to remove his strong

hand but Jared had his nails deeply inserted in my

skin, scratching me. Astonishingly it didn't really

hurt. However, the more I tried to escape from him,

the stronger his grip was.

I implored Ben to turn around but he didn't

hear me. The music was at its peak with Katie Perry's

transcending voice.

Jared had taken me away to a remote and deserted

place. I had stopped screaming, knowing so well that

it was useless.

He pushed me hard against a tree, his left forearm

blocking my airways and preventing me from

moving. I was trying to remove his arm, to catch my

breath. I quickly started to feel numb.

"You bitch, it is all your fault. You're going

to pay for what you have done."

I was trying to kick him, punch his face like

Kellan had taught me. It was in vain. Jared wouldn't

let go of his grip. "I...I don't… know ...what…" I

couldn't talk anymore.

128

His eyes, injected with blood and rage, and

the sound of his army tag moving were the last

elements I noticed before closing my eyes.

"You killed her! You bitch! Naome was

innocent. You don't deserve to live!"

What…? Dead? How? When? She was

getting better. I don't understand…

Not again! Not her!

Suddenly a familiar wave of guilt washed over me.

Maybe he was right. Maybe I deserved to die.

Knowing that I was about to pass out in ten seconds,

I quit fighting and decided to let the inevitable

happen, shedding a tear, relieved at the prospect of

this suffering – or remorse – coming to an end. I was

full of regrets... but I was grateful too... for today...

129

I fell violently on the ground, coughing, trying to

breathe again.

Regaining some consciousness, I looked up,

from my crouching position.

Kellan was restraining Jared, encircling him

with his two arms.

Jared was kicking him with his elbow,

fighting his brother's restraint.

"Faith, get out of here now!" Kellan shouted

at me.

I stood up with difficulty and stumbled along,

trying to run, barefoot.

Finding my way back on the promenade, I

saw Maggy and Ben, surrounded by Toby, Jeanne

who glanced at me sadistically.

I started running even faster, following candle

lights in the reverse direction.

Was I going the right way?

Stop freaking out, just run!

I entered the elevator, pressed on the button

displaying six, frenetically.

But when I looked back, I saw Jeanne

dangerously approaching, running faster and faster.

The door turned opaque and was already

carrying me up, before she could reach me.

When I arrived in my familiar hall, I used the route I

had taken with Kellan, and made another run for it.

Panic was invading me now, so sheer, knowing that

Jeanne would be here soon.

130

I started weeping.

I didn't know where I was and how I was supposed to

reach safety…

Your chip. Use your chip. I thought about security

measures, locks, someone breaking into my home,

danger...

Then I heard it.

Faintly at first, slowly growing louder as I was

approaching its source.

My alarm system was on, giving me directions.

I followed the noise and reached another corner.

I pressed on the shape next to it and I was back

inside, safe.

I mentally added five more locks on my door,

ran to my living room, and sat down on my sofa,

holding my knees, rocking back and forth to find

solace.

I woke up on the sofa, sweating, still holding my

knees. It was the middle of the night; everything was

ghostly, the only light that came in was a ray of

moon. A full moon.

But I knew none of this was real. I was still

trapped at the bottom of the ocean. My heartbeat

started racing again. I focused on the word light but

nothing happened. I looked around and it was so

gloomy that I couldn't see anything.

Suddenly I heard a step, then a second one –

or was it an echo? A third one, a fourth one.

131

I quickly glanced at the corner when the sound had

derived from. Nothing. Only shadows, moving,

dancing.

Oh my Gosh, there is something inside my

apartment.

All the separated shadows somehow merged to form

only one – it was a silhouette.

The silhouette of a woman, drawing near, encircling

me, strangling me…

My eyes opened in an instant. I was sweating heavily,

not knowing where I was.

Another nightmare.

I tried to convince myself it would be the last one but

I honestly doubted it would be the case.

It was day, or they were trying to make me

think it was. I got up, wearing the same dress as the

day before or was it several? I had lost count. I had

been able to sleep after all.

Relentless sleep, but sleep anyway.

Then I remembered, the events of the previous night.

Once again I was responsible for someone's death –

not resulting from my selfishness, but my own

violence. I knew I wouldn't be able to overcome it

this time. I also knew it was getting more and more

dangerous each day. So was I. Jared, Jeanne, Wolf,

Stern … and now all the people who had known

Naome. I was the undesirable number one here and I

couldn't blame them.

Let's let them have their way, I want to die too.

132

My bedroom door banged opened in an

instant.

It was Stern. She was here, in my apartment,

her hands hidden in the pockets of her black trousers.

She must be concealing a weapon. Go ahead, I'm

ready.

But I started to doubt the motive of her visit

when she said, still looking at me angrily "You're

such a disappointment, Faith…" She was sitting

down on my bed, hands off her pockets now.

"You made no progress in these past months. Bochi

may think what he wants, I don't believe it; you're

not a healer…I have invested so much in you… But

I've never felt a true commitment from your part.

And now Naome…I have no other option… I'll keep

Jeanne and J at bay but only if you agree to have

surgery again. I will let you know when. Such a

wasteYou better get up now, Professor Bochi

doesn't like being kept waiting and you already

missed yesterday's appointment…"

I remained silent and resigned. Was it

necessary to remind me of what had happened?

Don't you think I know?

Without adding anything, she stood up, left

my bedroom, leaving the door open.

After minutes of total impassivity, I struggled out of

bed, still consumed with dreadful guilt.

133

CHAPTER 6 –

Heavy Lightness

Which day was it? My board indicated 6

th

July but I

didn't know which weekday we were.

The faster, the better… Being killed or the

surgery, it doesn't matter I thought as I had lost all

the will to live.

I was in the bathroom now, looking at the

face of a murderer. No mark on my throat? Had it

been just a dream? I had thought for one second but I

doubted that as well when I recognized with certainty

the feeling in my gut: crying shame.

I was out of my apartment when I saw him, waiting

for me.

"Leave me alone!" I told Kellan.

"Is this how you're thanking me for saving

you, again?" he asked, staying all calm and serious.

I was heading for elevator number one, the

closest to my room. I didn't answer, I just wanted to

avoid him. Him and his devilish brother.

I wanted nothing to do with those two. I had been

running in the hall for several minutes, pursued by

Kellan, when I came to a dead end.

"Stop following me. I'm warning you!" Panicking, I

was pushing every shape I thought I saw.

134

"If you're looking for the elevator, it's right

there", he added pointing at the corner on my left.

I remembered the grayish shape I needed to

press on this corner and a door appeared. I entered

the elevator, followed by Kellan, despite my attempt

to let the elevator move before he could enter.

Apparently pressing on all the floor buttons had only

delayed the closing of the door.

Good to know. I was angry at myself and still not

talking.

When the elevator reached the eighth floor, the door

became translucent as it had for all the other floors.

Kellan said "Let's go" and he took my hand.

I went out reluctantly, trying to slow him

down. I removed my hand from his.

"Just slow down." he said after two minutes.

"What do you want? Do you enjoy spending

time with a murderer?" I burst out, having stopped

walking in the middle of the hall. I was overwhelmed

with black despair.

"Do not go on that road. You don't even

know what provoked her death…"

"I will never be able to live with it…"

"When I said trust your intuition I thought

you had understood".

As he pronounced these words, he slowly took my

hands in his and put them on each side of his head,

exactly where Jeanne had put hers.

I never saw this coming.

My heart was melting, with this touch he had taken

away all my sorrow and pain.

135

I felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach and a wave

of excitement as his head was getting closer to mine.

I could feel his strong hair slipping through my

fingers.

At this exact moment, I was submerged by a painless

flow of energy, so strong my head bent back, my

eyes rolling back too.

Kellan catching me in his arms was the only

sensation I had before I felt my body going numb,

levitating; my mind was reeling because of the

thousands of pictures it was receiving every second.

Am I dreaming? I had this feeling of floating or

walking on a cloud, without controlling my speed. In

front of me hundreds of landscapes were appearing.

Wolf? What is he doing here?

All the images stopped in a fragment of seconds to

turn to Wolf untying Kellan in what seemed to be a

cellar.

"Hurry up. He's after her. What happened?"

Wolf asked.

"Naome is dead. I'm sure it was Stern. Jared

was out of control and he put me here. Where are

they?"

I was suddenly crushed by a wave of growing

panic that I couldn't control. Wolf was trying to catch

up with Kellan, running, but I was already leaving the

scene. Wait, I want to see him again, show me

Kellan. Show me Kellan again.

136

I was now next to him but I wasn't the only one in

what I imagined to be his apartment.

Jeanne was there too.

"Come on, look at us. I know we would be

great together. We are meant to be.

If only you could let me in…" She had her arms

around him, ready to kiss him.

At this moment all I felt was disgust and

embarrassment. When I saw myself in the hall,

Kellan was removing her hands from his neck. My

double couldn't hide her surprise nor disappointment.

He started running after "her", leaving Jeanne and

myself behind. This image slowly faded away

carrying me along with it.

I was in a dark room when I could feel mounting

anger building inside of me.

"What the fuck did you do? I didn't steal it so

you could inject her with it. Our cover will be blown

instantly if they realize what you did…Stern has

already asked me to watch you…You're are being

stupid and reckless." Wolf was talking fast.

"I couldn't leave her like this…They'll

probably think she can heal very quickly thanks to

the alteration surgery and they'll give her a break.

And what the fuck did you hit her with? She couldn't

even walk…" It was Kellan, he was furious.

"What did you expect me to do? She was out

of control, not to mention all the cameras that were

filming her…I didn't have any choice."

Wolf was justifying hitting me?

137

"And what if I had taken the other one by

mistake? You could have killed her too…"

"No, the serum is almost translucent. The

anti-serum is practically red."

How did Kellan know so many things?

"How do you know?" Wolf was asking him. I

wasn't the only curious one.

"Naome has analyzed the serum for me. She

started doubting Stern's motives after meeting Faith.

And listen to this; she found DNA in both samples.

These were taken from humans, altered

humans…twins…"

"Do you mean…?"

"Yes, this is exactly what it means…There

might be others…" I could now feel bleak despair

crushing him when I felt carried away somewhere

else.

I could see myself in my bed, sleeping. I saw Kellan

coming to me, calling my name, trying to wake me.

"Do you trust me?" I saw him insert a needle

in my arm and seeing him doing so I was thrown into

mad panic. What if it doesn't work? What am I

doing? What if it kills her? I couldn't go on living

with that.

It was so strange; these weren't my thoughts.

Were they Kellan's? As I was trying to prevent him

from injecting me with the liquid, I saw my hand

disappear and turn into thin air.

Kellan was in front of me, walking, carrying

something in his hands.

138

I accelerated to keep up with him and I

recognized a tray of food with muffins.

He put it down with some blankets and I was

surprised to think That will certainly cheer her up.

But I realized it wasn't me, I wasn't dreaming.

I was in his memory, Kellan's memory.

How is that possible? Show me more, I

thought, then drifted away.

I was now in a familiar landscape. In front of me The

French Quarter was opening up, showing me Kellan

seated next to Jared on a bench. They were both

facing the Mississippi River. The sun was going

down, it was hot and damp. As I was drawing nearer,

I heard them arguing.

Don't do this J. She's innocent. You know

what happened to others. We owe them nothing!

We owe them everything; we have a roof

above our heads, a life here. They need us. The world

needs us Kellan, and her. She could be it… Stern is

sure of it!

You don't know that and I won't let you

destroy another person's life…

What is a life compared to the millions we

will save? What are you going to do? Stop me? What

about our purpose here? What about our mission?

Observing them, I realized their lips weren't

moving. They weren't even looking at each other.

How come I can hear them? Are they talking about

me?

Jared stood up suddenly and left Kellan alone

on the bench. Anger, he was angry and sad. I

139

recognized his feelings and was disappearing again,

falling into oblivion.

More I thought.

Wolf was back in what I was now certain to be one of

Kellan's memory fragments. They were both in an

enclosed space I didn't know and they were both

whispering.

"Are you sure our meeting was a good idea?"

Wolf asked.

"You came to me, you wanted a way out."

Kellan answered.

"I know, I know. I'm just… Never mind. Are

you sure we're not under surveillance?"

"Positive."

"That's what you thought in Stern's office

when I caught you…"

"Relax, they never record anything in here

anyway."

"So, what did you have in mind?"

"I want to find out what they're really after.

Stern is very concise when she gives information and

I'm not buying any of it. No way is she working for

the US government."

"What do you want me to do?" Wolf

enquired.

"We need to collect Intel to know more about

Stern and her organization. And as soon as we get the

chance, we expose them and get the hell out."

"Sounds good to me" replied Wolf.

Hope, he's hopeful and relieved I knew.

140

"How can I reach you if I need to talk to

you?"

This image quickly turned into something else, I had

the impression that they were accelerating in front of

me and I couldn't cling onto them.

Kellan was lying in front of me now. Drains were

coming out of his body, everywhere, in this inert

white surgical room. His head was shaved and his

body bruised and defeated.

Am I alive? Why have I agreed to do this? It

hurts… so much. Jared, what did you make me do…?

As I could feel his pain growing and despair driving

him, I took his hand in mine but I only touched air,

my body disappearing once more.

The light inside the bar was faint, it was noisy and I

could detect scents of smoke and alcohol mixing.

Kellan was serving drinks at the bar when he saw

Jared come in, with… Louise.

She was a gorgeous, fresh brunette, not older

than eighteen. She was wearing a red strapless dress

with long earrings and red lipstick.

I could feel rage growing inside Kellan. He

was walking to them both slowly, Jared was

impassive. Kellan suddenly punched Jared in the

face, taking him by his shirt and pulling him outside.

I could hear the protests of the other bartender, Phil,

shouting that they were both fired.

Louise was smiling with triumph and walked

away.

141

I followed them both outside through the back

door. When I caught up with them, Kellan was still

holding his brother by the collar, against a wall, his

fist ready to punch him a second time.

"I told you she was a slut, but you wouldn't

listen. You had to play the hero."

Kellan dropped his grip on Jared and looked

at his brother intensely. He was still furious but

remained silent.

He turned around and said "Why, J? Why

her? You could have any other girl. And now we're

fired. You heard Phil."

"This one is on you, bro."

"What did you expect me to do, huh? Let you

go away with it?" Kellan asked rhetorically.

"It's always been you and me K, never mind

that bitch."

After five seconds Kellan added "We don't

have any money, we have nowhere to go..."

"Don't worry, I found something. You don't

have to worry about money anymore. Here, look at

this card." On it I could get a glimpse at a silver giant

S encrusted with what looked like a C in a rectangle.

"What is that?" K asked.

"Our new employer, bro. So don't weigh

yourself down with extra luggage…We're leaving

this shithole."

The next image took form so quickly that I almost

felt sick.

I was following Kellan and Jared on a path.

They were much younger, teenagers certainly. They

142

were walking towards a house. A beautiful garden

was surrounding it, the American flag was fluttering

in the breeze. It was silent.

Kellan was approaching the open entrance

door when he turned around to look at Jared and ask

him to stay outside.

Kellan entered.

The beige walls were decorated with family

pictures; the twins with diapers dutifully striking a

pose – the couple around them were their parents – a

beautiful black and white wedding picture – the man

wearing a uniform.

More pictures of Kellan and Jared were displayed on

a rectangular mahogany table in the hall. The lamp

on it was lighting the portrait of a man – the same

one – in uniform again. There was an army tag in

front of it. Next to it was a frame with a star-shaped

medal inside. I could read Army/Forever/USA. And

above it this sentence In memory of Maxwell Taylor.

Kellan was now shouting "Mom? Mom?"

still more loudly, searching for her in every room

downstairs. He started climbing up the stairs in front

of me. I decided to follow him.

He was slowing down now and I could feel

dread perspiring out of him. He was heading for a

room in particular.

His mom's bedroom. Rosalyn.

The green lights were on, which accentuated

the sick feeling the second floor was already evoking.

Kellan slowly opened the door, when abject

horror overcame him.

143

There was blood and flesh spread everywhere on the

wall – in such a way – it was almost suggesting one

of Pollock's paintings.

His mother lay down on her king-size bed, a

gun next to her right hand.

Kellan didn't say anything. Mom… you were

never strong enough.

He was struggling to contain his savage anger. He

went to his mother's corpse and touched her hand,

fighting back tears.

I could feel responsibility weighing on him,

responsibility for his brother, for struggling for a

better life than what he and his brother had had.

Kellan stood up quickly for he had heard Jared's

steps on the stairs.

Everything vanished into a blur.

The next landscape was displaying Kellan and Jared

with the man in the picture. They were at the gym.

It smelled and looked exactly like the gym where we

had practiced.

Kellan was so young, not more than six. He

was punching the bag, proud of his progress but

afraid to forget the next combination. Left, right,

uppercut, hook…

"Focus Kellan, feet at equal distance. Good.

Go on. Okay. Here have something to drink while

your brother is training."

Kellan went sitting down on a bench.

His father was still talking to him, "Don't

forget to stay focused, never lower your guard, K.

Your opponent will use any opportunity to attack

144

you. Harder, Jared", their father shouted, standing up

and coming close to K's brother.

Kellan was looking at him with pride and

love. All he wanted was to be like his dad.

"Rest another five minutes then you'll

practice your karate moves."

I was swept along at the speed of light.

I could feel warmth irradiating everywhere. His eyes

were closed. He was bathing in a liquid environment.

Kellan didn't know where he was but it didn't matter,

it was comforting. He was bent and tried to stretch

but every time he did, he felt something – someone –

kicking him, taking the whole space he had left. This

kick felt somehow reassuring and he felt safe here. I

could hear a muffled voice, talking to him, to them.

"Oh, come on little men, stop moving. I can't

breathe anymore. Ouch. Honey? Honey, we've got to

go now, I think they're coming!"

I woke up in Kellan's arms, drained and full of

sorrow, able to whisper just one thing at his ear:

"Rosalyn… How could she do this to you?"

Warm tears were slowly rolling down my cheeks and

Kellan's face turned white with horror. I felt

emotionally and physically drained. It was as if life

had been sucked out of me. I couldn't stand up nor

walk. Kellan was still holding me in his arms when I

blacked out again.

145

"What the hell is going on here?" Professor Bochi

was asking as I had regained some consciousness.

"There's been something wrong with her data, bring

her inside." He was ordering Kellan to move. "Now!"

As Kellan was carrying me, I saw lust in the

assistant's eyes as we passed her.

"Put her here."

I was on the auscultation chair again.

"She fainted and injured her head." Kellan

lied. "She's had nothing to eat for two days… Can

you give her something?"

"I need to run some tests first. I want a blood

sample."

"Are you kidding me? She's obviously

suffering, do something!" Kellan protested this time.

"Do you want me to report your refusal to

Stern?" Kellan remained silent. "I thought so. Now

let me do my job. You may go, you're no longer

necessary here."

No. I was screaming in my head.

Faith? Oh my God, Faith, is that you?

What's going on? I thought.

Faith, it's me, K. Oh my God, I can't believe

it.

"Kellan, what did you just say?" I asked him

out loud.

Listen Faith, we need to get you out of here

first. Don't say anything. They're watching us...

"Take the damn blood sample and let me take her

back to her room. She's obviously disorientated."

146

Professor Bochi was eyeing me and Kellan

suspiciously but complied. He put on his surgical

gloves and prepared his syringe.

It didn't even pinch.

"Can we go now?" Kellan enquired as he was

already lifting me up in his arms.

Dr. Bochi tore apart two different aluminum

squares and gave them to me.

"Take these with water." We were almost out of his

office when he added "I'll expect to see her

tomorrow morning as usual."

I couldn't fail to notice the professor's

sadistic smile, looking back as we were passing his

assistant's desk.

"Kellan, what's wrong with me?" I asked, worried.

Sh... Don't say anything else. he whispered in

my head. "I think our training yesterday was a little

bit too hard. You are exhausted and starving!" Kellan

said out loud, still carrying me in his arms.

I remained silent, so silent that I could hear

his heartbeat accelerate. I was feeling so faint that I

rested my head on his shoulder until we arrived at my

apartment. The door immediately let us in as soon as

we stood before it. He seemed to find his way

without any difficulty. He put me on my bed and took

the medicine I had been given.

"Here, try to rest a little bit. I'll fetch a glass

of water." He came back two minutes afterwards with

a sparkling mixture and gave it to me to drink.

I didn't protest. After having emptied the

glass, I lay down on my bed.

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"Rest, I'll be back when you wake up." Don't

worry I won't be far, I'm heading for my apartment.

Kellan, go on talking to me, please.

We can still "talk". Close your eyes and

pretend you are asleep. There are cameras

everywhere. Stern is constantly watching us.

I know…Oh my Gosh, I know…What is wrong

with me? Why can I hear you?

I don't know how it happened but we share

the same ability.

Ability? Oh my Gosh, it wasn't a dream?

What do you mean by 'it wasn't a dream'?

I…I felt everything you have ever felt, saw

everything you have lived…

Everything?

I knew honesty was too important to ignore

but I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.

However, no matter what I would say, the image of

Louise smiling was forever printed in my mind.

It was more like being on a high-speed train and I

saw some of the stops you had taken…

You "saw" what happened to my mother?

I did. I'm sorry.

Don't apologize, it's not your fault. But it's

not like I've ever shared it with anyone before.

Don't worry, I won't tell. I'm so sorry you

had to live through this.

Once again, you had nothing to do with it. It's

strange though… So far I could only hear one

person's thoughts, my brother's, since surgery. I

have been able to "talk" to him but with no one else.

It's a first for me too…

148

Why do you think it happened to me? I asked

him.

Something must have triggered it. Has it

happened before, I mean since the alteration

surgery?

I focused on the past months when I recalled

what had happened when the nurse touched me after I

had woken up in the premises.

Yes, I think. With the nurse who checked up on me, I

was in so much pain…Somehow I knew things I had

never learned before.

Like what?

I could attend wounds and I knew about

concussions, infections, injections… But it was

nothing compared to what I experienced with you…

What do you mean?

Receiving all these images didn't hurt with

you… I mean, not physically and I don't recall any

precise event from the nurse's life. I suppose I only

kept some memory of her knowledge. Do you think I

might still be immune to pain because of the serum

you injected me with?

You saw that as well…I guess maybe... I know

Jared has developed a certain insensitivity. He is

regularly injected with it, before each mission.

Jeanne and Wolf too…

So what do you think my skill is?

It's hard to say…Not to mention that the

alteration process is different for everyone. Naome

thinks...

I winced.

149

She thought, he started again, the surgical

procedure could only enhance what had already been

there. Look at Jared, he's always wanted to be

influential and listened to. Now he can provoke

visions dreams or nightmares. I also know that

Maggy has always been anxious and controlling.

Now she can control the elements around her too.

Like you?

Me?

Yes, you've always been very protective

towards your brother. Maybe that's why you can

hear him…

And with these last word I knew I had gone too

far…An image of Kellan resurfaced. The memory of

his dad, asking him to care for Jared and his mum

while he was away, as he was the most responsible

one, and the guilt of having failed the three of them.

The best thing to do was to change the subject.

You wanted Stern to think my ability was healing

quickly…

Yes, I didn't want her to know I had injected

you with the serum. And your tissue needed healing

faster after what had happened, not to mention I

wanted to avoid your going through surgery again…

She would certainly have suggested it. I didn't know

what you were capable of either, I guess I wanted to

be the first to find out.

I knew he was smiling. And you knew what

the serum would do because of Wolf…

Yes, Jared, Wolf and Jeanne. They're the only

ones who have been injected with it so far. Together

they are part of the most lethal group I have ever

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known. They're very dangerous and practically

indestructible.

I already knew all this but I didn't have the

courage to stop him, his inner voice was so soothing.

But I still needed to ask him: Who made this serum?

Who are the twins?

I don't know for sure… Apparently you

already know everything I know…

I didn't confirm nor deny this reality.

But Wolf? I never expected him to work with you…

He noticed something was wrong from his

very first mission. He's been covering for me a few

times when I wanted to explore some offices. Not to

mention he is gifted with very heightened senses. Ms.

Stern is nothing but thorough, she has always

suspected me of not wanting to be a part of her

group. She has put an entire surveillance system on

every floor to catch her "mole". But they're not

really useful against Wolf and his supra hearing and

sight. You were talking about the nurse who had

checked up on you and you knew about her nursing

knowledge, do you remember anything particular

that might have provoked it?

Nothing unusual. She asked me if I was okay

and I…She had startled me that was all.

Did she say anything in particular? Did she

do anything out of the ordinary?

I don't think so, I was removing her hand

when it happened.

You touched her?

Yes but…

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As I was trying to understand, I remembered her in

detail, her hand on my shoulder, mine trying to

remove it and the pain it had caused. Stern made me

touch your hand on the first day, do you think she

knows?

I think she suspects something, maybe she

saw something when she watched the footage. Bochi

will certainly keep an eye on you too. You need to be

as discreet as possible, you can't take any risk.

Why do you think nothing happened when she

made me touch you?

I don't know. But there is a reason, I'm sure

of it. We need to find a pattern. What could have

provoked your …visions?

Trying to relive the moments before entering

Kellan's memory, I started blushing. I was glad he

couldn't see me. Then it struck me. Your neck, I

touched your neck.

You mean the chip?

Yes, I think it has something to do with it.

I'll see with Wolf if we can meet somewhere

safe later or tomorrow, maybe after...

After what?

After… the funeral. I …have to go. Everyone

expects me to be there.

Kellan, I…

I know.

What can I do?

Be patient. I think you should stay in your

apartment for a while, for your own safety. I'll bring

you lunch and we can practice some more this

afternoon. If Bochi really thinks you're a healer, he'll

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expect you to be on your feet quickly. We mustn't

raise his suspicions. Get some rest now. You must be

pretty shaken up. I'll contact Wolf.

Okay. After a minute, I added: Hey, Kellan?

Yes?

Do you think Stern had Naome killed?

Yes…She had started to ask too many

questions. I think Stern took the opportunity to frame

you for her death.

I still don't understand why she would do

such a thing…

She certainly knew you would blame yourself

and be even more cooperative…

Thank you…

Don't mention it. Rest now, your questions

will be answered, I promise you…

And I dozed off.

I woke up calmly after what seemed like an eternity. I

felt rested and peaceful even after two hours of sleep.

No nightmare. What a feat!

I got up in my bedroom which was exactly

how I had left it. But somehow the atmosphere

surrounding me was different. I didn't know what

had brought about this discernible shift but it felt like

a whole new world was opening to me.

Kellan. Kellan changed things… As I didn't

want him to read me like an open book, I tried to

block my thoughts. How do you do that? I knew he

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could do it with Jared…Let's focus. Empty your

head! Block! Now! Breathe in, breathe out…

It was time to check if it had worked.

Kellan, are you there? Can you hear me?

Loud and clear!

Shit!

Nice try with the "blocking" theory but I'm

afraid it doesn't work that way.

I could hear him giggle. I felt so

embarrassed…You'll have to teach me…I still need

some privacy. I went on "talking" to him as I was

getting up and ready.

Don't worry, it's not that complicated. The

only thing you need is a safe word.

I know, I tried your safe word technique…

It's more like a safe "thought", really… You

focus on a thought or on an object that has had a

great impact on your life.

You let this thought possess you and invade your

mind without any restraint, and I'll be totally unable

to hear you.

And if you aren't able to communicate with

me afterwards?

As soon as you want me to, I'll be able to

hear you, don't worry. At least it's how it works with

Jared…

Okay. Let's give it a try. I was wearing a

colorful flowered shirt and a pair of shorts with pink

flip flops to match my mood.

Wait, I put a tray of food in front of your

apartment, I didn't want to wake you. Help yourself

first.

154

Alright, thanks. I thought before repeating to

myself stop thinking, stop thinking…

Heading for the tray, I remembered that I needed to

pretend I hadn't known anything about it.

My door turned into a translucent circle and I was in

the hall again. I looked around to check there was no

one and I acted surprised to see food next to my door.

I took everything back inside and sat down at my

dining room table.

Swallowing my daily portion of energy, I

started wondering about a memory fragment that

would be of help. Might be the right moment to forget

about everything I thought.

Let's see, what are my interests?

Books? I love reading. Why not? Passing in review

my whole French lit course, that I had adored, I

remembered some good reading. "Le Rouge et le

Noir" from Stendhal was great or "Jane Eyre" that I

had read for my English course.

I had felt all the innermost emotions the characters

had to cope with, from anxiety and doubt to ecstasy

and suffering.

I was amazed by my taste for desperate and

impossible love.

Maybe love isn't meant to last. People say passionate

love never exceeds three years.

I thought humans' emotions were too unpredictable

for love to have a happy ending. I had always

preferred Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights for that

reason in comparison with other authors. I thought

Jane Austen's book endings were totally naïve for

155

example, even if secretly I wished I could live the

same big love.

I thought about all the books I had had to read as a

student but I found nothing that was sufficient for the

task at hand.

I've never had any pets, but maybe I can use an

imaginary one? What about animals?

My love for animals? Flowers? The nature? A good

movie? ...

It wasn't helping.

Then suddenly, I knew. Rays. Manta Rays. I had been

fascinated with them since my childhood. I had

looked up every item of info on the net, had watched

all the documentaries and given every school

presentation on them. I had tried to raise awareness

on the global warming issue and its impact on sea life

during my whole study program. They're so majestic

and graceful. When you see them move, it's like they

were flying in the ocean. They had given me the

incentive to become a marine biologist but I had

shelved every plan since my parents' death. I grew up

with this desire of swimming with them, caring for

them and especially protecting them.

Dozens and dozens of images of rays were flashing

across my mind. I imprinted them on, blocking every

other thought.

When I opened my eyes, half an hour had

passed. K? Are you there?

Are you okay?

Yes, I'm fine. I…I think I've got it, my

thought.

156

Already? It took me three weeks to find a

way…Let's give it a try, I'm on my way to pick you

up for training. I know a whole bunch of silly jokes.

Focus and if I don't hear you laugh, it means it is

working.

Or it will mean your jokes are not that good I

smiled.

No, no one can resist my jokes…

I could picture him smiling too.

'Three single men are on a deserted island.

The first one…'

As he went on telling his joke, I let my mind

wander on rays and the ocean, the way they were all

letting the current carry them away, the movement of

their fins…

As I couldn't hear Kellan anymore, I walked to my

entrance door for he had said he was on his way to

my place.

"What took you so long, we're late. Let's

go!" Kellan was saying almost angrily while

thinking, it worked…but you missed all the punch

lines.

I'm sure! Another time maybe. When we are

out of here…I replied, thinking about us both, free

again.

His blue eyes were looking at me with almost carnal

intensity. A wave of desire was growing inside of me,

burning my every organ, tensing my every muscle. It

was no need denying it, I wanted him to kiss me,

157

right here, right now. I wanted to feel his muscular

arms around my waist, holding me, pulling me close,

and protecting me. I wanted to taste him, smell him,

to belong to him and him only.

But I couldn't afford to think of him that way

or to let him notice I was blushing. Block your

thoughts!

He was the enemy on the ring. I stopped

staring and I tried to rest my eyes on something else –

his chest instead – maybe not the best of ideas.

I could see sweat pearling down his arms and neck.

But I wouldn't be that easily distracted or easy to

defeat.

He had understood it as I had proven I could

be a strong adversary for the past half hour – a

decisive advantage of having learned all his

technique with my journey through his memory.

Boxing, karate, judo, swordsmanship with kendo,

stick fighting… had no more secret to me.

He would have to try another tactic and not hold back

to be victorious.

I was ready for his next move. I saw his right

hand slowly forming a fist and anticipated the blow, I

ducked down before he could reach me. But as I was

trying to stand up again I saw his right knee

dangerously aiming at my face. I quickly rolled on

the other side to avoid it and back flipped to stand up.

"You've improved", he said.

"I'm a fast learner" I lied.

You need to hold back or you'll be

compromised. You could never have made so much

158

progress in twenty-four hours. Don't forget that

they're watching us.

Oh, yes, you're right.

Just when I was building the necessary confidence to

attack, Kellan's right foot kicked my left knee and a

sharp sound irradiated from my whole leg. I lost my

balance and collapsed, still blocking his next blow

with my right arm.

When he realized it might be a serious injury,

Kellan bent on one knee and asked "Are you okay?"

He had started inspecting me, holding my hip with

one hand and checking my entire leg with the other. I

think it's dislocated, you should be crying in pain.

Kellan thought.

"Aaah" I shouted as he tried to move my leg

again.

"Let's call it even for today. You need to go

to the nursery wing." he added.

"I can't move…" I hadn't had the time to

finish my sentence as he was already carrying me in

his strong arms, one supporting my back, the other

holding my legs. I put my right arm around his neck

and let him carry me to the door.

When I understood that he wasn't heading for

the right direction, I asked Where are you going? The

elevator is that way and Bochi's on the eighth floor…

I don't want this pervert to touch you ever

again. He will want to take some more blood

samples…"I would like Wolf to have a look at you

first. He's training here too. He has some qualities

159

that might help us find out what is wrong with your

knee." Anyway I want to check a theory.

Which theory?

You said that when you had your first flashes

you were in a lot of pain, right?

Yes.

I know the chip indicates any pain or

suffering you're going through even if you don't feel

it. Bochi knew something happened when you

touched my chip. He said he had recorded activity.

So, if we want Stern or Bochi to remain unsuspicious

of your real ability, we will have to inflict you with

pain and another person's memory to revive at the

same time. The chip will record a peak of activity.

They'll think it was provoked by pain only. You will

have to fake it of course. This way we might succeed

in understanding the extent of your skills and hiding

the fact that I injected you with the serum at the same

time.

Smart! Let's try it.

Wolf must be in his training room. Let me do

the talking.

Yes Sir!

Don't "yes Sir" me. He was laughing

inwardly.

I couldn't say the prospect of invading Wolf's mind

was really attractive but I was willing to know more

about what the alteration process had changed in me.

"If it's dislocated, can you put it back into

place?" Kellan was asking Wolf.

"I could try but it will hurt like hell…"

160

He was still observing my knee as I was on the floor,

my back against a wall in his training room.

He is concerned for my well-being now? I

thought.

Don't judge him too harshly. We both needed

to pretend… and he saved me more than once. Be

ready to touch his chip and don't forget to scream…

"Okay, Faith, do not move, Wolf will be as

quick as possible. Go ahead!" Kellan added, nodding

at Wolf. "At the count of three. One…Two…Th…"

Kellan didn't have the time to finish counting,

I touched Wolf's neck before he could pronounce

anything else and yelled at him at the same time.

But even faster than before, my head was spinning

and I was swept along by a whirlwind of thoughts

and feelings.

I could distinguish Wolf and Kellan as the dense

bank of fog surrounding me was slowly dispersing.

They were whispering in the dark enclosed space I

had already seen in Kellan's memory.

"Is she okay?" Wolf asked. But I could feel

he was sincerely worried this time which I had

doubted through Kellan's recall of events.

"Pretty shaken up, but she is doing fine

considering what she's been through. She is strong.

But that's not why I called you… Something's

happened…"

"Yes, I can sense your concern…" Wolf

answered.

I can sense it too. A great surge of adrenalin

swept through Wolf, I recognized the feeling.

161

"I think I know what surgery altered in her…"

"Well, tell me…"

"She touched my chip and took on my

power…"

"You mean she can hear your brother?"

"No, she can hear me, we can communicate

the way I do with Jared…"

"Has it happened with anyone else?" Wolf

asked intrigued.

"Yes, with a nurse… after a single touch of

her hand."

"If Stern finds out, she is finished. She will

end up as a lab rat." Wolf added.

"I know… I know. It's why I would like to

make sure no one finds out. But first you have to

promise me something. You'll have to protect her, if

anything happens to me…"

"Don't worry about it. So how do you want to

check your theory?"

The images rapidly tarnished and I went on

floating blindly. Why did you choose to help Kellan?

A flash of light, then nothing. It was dark but I could

see shadows moving, advancing towards us. They

were holding machine guns in front of a big facility.

"They're here. Wait for my signal…" Wolf

was whispering to Jeanne and Jared.

First mission. Nigeria. Save innocent

prisoners, I thought.

Jeanne was already standing, ready to attack.

"Wait!" Wolf was worried and very

protective towards her, he didn't want her to be hurt.

162

Not listening to him, she removed her gloves

and put her hands up. I had never witnessed such a

thing; sparkles were coming out of her palms leaving

the sky a very dark place. She had alerted the guards

who were now running to us.

It was like she had absorbed all the energy,

from the stars and the moon.

Jared was looking at her too and I could smell

his fear and fascination at the same time.

He quickly used his ability to blind the guards to their

presence. Even in the absence of immediate danger,

Jeanne turned her palms against them.

They hadn't had the time to scream, one man's flesh

was already melting as all the energy Jeanne had in

her hands was directed to him. She was leaving a

scent of roasted meat behind. I could feel bile in my

throat as utter disgust was filling me.

The scenery turned into smoke…

"Here is your money. Good job."

"It's my pleasure doing business with you".

Wolf overheard Stern and an African general talking

far off.

He was two miles away…

Wolf, why did you decide to come here? Tell me…

The devastating tornado of his feelings took me to

this place Wolf was reluctant to witness again.

There were images of Jeanne, everywhere, all around

me. She was teasing him, flirting with him,

inopportunely touching his hand still wearing her

163

gloves…and I felt sadness and pain swelling, mixed

with a sense of hope and deep affection.

The flow of images stopped and I entered the

last one. It was loud, people were screaming and

laughing. Wolf was watching the ocean from a pier.

Behind him the sunset was illuminated by plenty of

lights, coming from a big wheel. There was an

enormous roller coaster too…

Santa Monica.

Wolf was helpless that night, helpless and

frightened and his feelings were mine once more. He

wanted to stop, and start afresh. He just didn't know

how. Jump. Now…before it's too late. he was

thinking. He was gripped by the throat and saw only

one way out: suicide.

I knew the feeling well but somehow Wolf's heart

was heavier than mine had been.

"Excuse me. I'm a bit lost, could you help

me?" It was Jeanne, again. Jeanne and her French

accent.

What now? Wolf and I both thought. He

turned around and his heart skipped two beats.

She is so gorgeous... Everything turned into a dim

blur.

The light was weak, all the lamps were protected by

towels, and curtains were drawn. Wolf was at a

wooden table counting money. Or rather he let a

machine do it for him.

I heard noise in the kitchen – another man. He arrived

all dressed in black and spoke to him in Spanish.

Somehow I understood every word.

164

"Hey Wo, check this out, new liquid blow.

Pedro wants us to try it."

"I'm busy here José!"

"Come on man…" José was looking at him

with red-rimmed eyes.

"Give me a minute…" Wolf and I recognized

excitement coursing through his veins, excitement

and hidden disgust for he had become what he hated

the most…

He was in a small apartment.

Mi casa.

It was warm and full of smoke. He couldn't breathe.

Wolf was hungry, he went out of the bedroom,

through the half opened door, to see his mum. She

was all sleepy again, Pedro's hands were all over her

unmoving body, his cigarette burning in the ashtray.

Wolf glimpsed at the needle on the sofa…

"¿Qué vamos a comer?" he asked Pedro.

On Pedro's left shoulder I could clearly see a

tattoo: number thirteen and a skull.

Pedro had always frightened Wolf but he was

starving… He decided to approach him.

"Don't come over here you moron. What are

you good for? You only eat and shit all day long,

you're not even old enough to work for me." He was

yelling at little Wolf in Spanish. "Get the hell out!"

he cried out as, he slapped him once again.

My head was throbbing but I felt relieved to see

Kellan in front of me.

165

My pulse was racing and I was consumed by

too many emotions, mine and Wolf's. My head

started spinning, I was receiving too much

information at the same time. The light was too

bright in here, I closed my eyes, putting the palm of

my left hand on my forehead to check I wasn't

feverish. I felt dizzy and disgusted, probably by what

I had seen.

I tried to find my composure by breathing in and out

calmly but all I could hear were waves, somewhere –

all around me – giant waves crashing on the shore. A

faint thud, then ten, twenty, thousand, millions of

thuds in my head. It smelled like dust and sweat,

salty wind and…

"Faith, are you okay?" I could sense Kellan's

worry.

"I think I'm gonna be sick" was all I could

say before turning my head on the other side,

emptying all the content of my stomach after a single

gulp.

"Wolf, bring her a glass of water" Kellan

ordered.

He was holding my hair in a ponytail which gave me

yet another reason to flush with embarrassment.

Faith, what's wrong?

Too much, I see too much, there is too much

noise…Can you turn the lights off?

He stood up. I heard his steps resonating in

my head and a single bang.

The lights weren't so bright now. Better… I

thought.

Do you think it worked? he asked.

166

Yes, it did…but it's a nightmare now.

Everything seems heightened.

It must be your senses. Wolf stayed in his bed

for a week before being able to talk to anyone. But

you've had the serum, it should help…

It was easier inside his head. I thought,

almost immediately regretting it.

What do you mean?

It was almost like I could navigate through

his past and select where I wanted to go this time.

Even if I can recall all the details of his life and still

taste the bitterness of all his emotions now…This last

thought I kept to myself.

Wolf was giving me a bottle of fresh water

and I gratefully took a sip. It felt better but his

memories were still resonating in my head.

I don't know how he did it.

Did what?

Survive everything; his past, his operation,

his skills. It seems like a curse to me.

I was looking at him, full of understanding for what

Wolf had been through. He had never had any choice,

even when he had been working for Pedro.

Wolf glanced at me then at Kellan, as if

asking if his theory had been proven.

"Help me up, please" I said, asking Wolf to

give me a hand.

I held his arm and my index drew an imaginary

number thirteen on his left shoulder to make him

understand that I knew of his unbearable suffering.

He had his tattoo removed during alteration surgery

167

but I knew the recall of what it had represented was

still alive in his head, he was still crushed by guilt.

Wolf took a step back, eying me in panic.

"It's okay, I'm not going to be sick again, I

promise. It was too painful, that's all…" I hoped he

would understand that he didn't have to feel

ashamed.

"Let's take you back to your bedroom now."

It was Kellan, he sounded full of worry, his voice

echoing in my head once more.

Leaving the elevator with my two bodyguards who

were still pretending to help me walk, I felt like a

newborn. I could see now, really see – the cameras –

symbols for all the lies beneath the surface.

My God, Kellan, there is video surveillance

everywhere. I can see everything now. You were

right...

I know…We need to find out what Stern's

agenda is and we need to obtain proof…

I could touch her…it's the only way to be

sure…

It's too risky Faith, if she ever finds out what

you're capable of, she'll want to use you…

We need to make sure she never does find

out…but think about it, you know I'm right.

I'll think about it. he said to me whereas I

knew he wouldn't even consider it.

Two minutes afterwards I could hear steps in

the distance. Stop! I shouted in my head.

168

Kellan pretended to need to rest. What is it?

There is someone in front of my door…Wait,

two people. I can hear them.

I was looking at Wolf who was nodding, he had felt

their presence too of course.

I focused on where that sound had come from.

Somehow the scent invading my nostrils was familiar

– strawberry soap and sweat. This person had been

working out. Then it hit me.

It's Maggy and I think I know the other person too.

The other smell was stronger – bleach and a lot of

perfume, vanilla. Bochi's assistant, shit.

We need to buy some time, let me do the

talking, Kellan replied.

"Ah there you are. Professor Bochi would like

to see you, Faith, this instant." Bochi's assistant said

meeting us halfway.

"I'm afraid he will have to wait. She is in no

condition to see him." Kellan answered with strength

even if his pounding heartbeat was betraying him.

Kellan and Wolf both continued carrying me

to my door where Maggy was still waiting, looking at

the floor.

"His orders were clear, I…" the assistant

pursued, still following us, but she was to be quickly

cut off by Kellan.

"It's enough." Kellan stopped holding me and

turned around to face her. "Stern gave me clearance

to train her. She is my apprentice. Let's go to her

office now! I won't tolerate any more interference."

"It...It won't be necessary." she answered still

hesitantly.

169

"Tell him she'll be there for her appointment,

as usual."

"I will." Bochi's assistant said before

disappearing around the corner with her nervous

steps, the sound of her clicking high heels still

echoing in my head long after she had gone.

Maggy was still looking down when we

arrived in front of my apartment.

I could feel Wolf and Kellan become

uncomfortable, not knowing what to say.

"Guys, Maggy can help me to my bed. She's

got it from here. Thanks."

Wolf nodded and left without any comment.

Are you sure about this? Kellan asked.

Yes, she won't hurt me. I promise.

I won't be far, if you need me, just call. he

said then left.

Maggy took my arm and put it around her

neck. I was careful not to touch her chip.

I couldn't do this to Maggy, not to her.

But above all, I couldn't resign to stealing another

person's memories and life.

We entered.

She put me delicately to bed, still in ominous

silence. She sat down slowly, next to me.

My new gifts made me aware of the extent of

surveillance they were putting us under.

I spotted two cameras in my hall, one in my back,

above my head and I could hear recording devices

everywhere.

It was time to break this heavy silence between us.

170

"What's wrong Maggy? You, being that awfully

silent, that's a first!" I smiled.

"I'm…I'm sorry it took me so long to

come….but I…"

"Don't apologize, I understand…I… I'm so

sorry…"

"I know it was an accident, you must feel

awful…"

"I'm okay…" I lied.

"How can you say that? You're not okay, I

can see it on your face. And you're limping again.

You…"

"No, it's not what you think, I…I got injured

during training."

"Don't lie to me, please. Look at you! What

have they done to you? I barely recognized you when

I saw you. You must be in so much pain… You can't

stay here, Faith… after what happened to

Naome…they will destroy you."

This conversation was going the wrong way, I didn't

want Maggy to risk her life by protecting mine.

"I'm fine, I promise you."

"I don't understand why Stern let this

happen… She said you were meant to save us all."

K, we need to tell her the truth. I thought.

Don't! You don't know if you can trust her.

Yes, I do. She's my friend…

You don't know how she will react. You're

taking a considerable risk.

Please, trust me on this. "Don't say that

Maggy…" I went on. I needed to tell her without

Stern knowing. Suddenly I had an idea.

171

"You know what? Let's meet tonight, just us girls."

"I… Are you sure? I mean…You must be

exhausted…"

"I need to take my mind off it…Come on, just

like in the old days?"

"Well…Okay…"

"Let's meet in your loft?"

"Alright. I'll let you rest now. See you later

then…"and she left me with only two hours to get rid

of surveillance.

As I was entering the hall after a fake nap, my

indomitable spirits were immediately dampened by

the changes I could read on my timetable:

7th July Medical appointments will be postponed

until 11'00 due to Naome Drest's funeral.

12'30-2'30 fighting,

3'00-5 p.m. training 2

8th July

9'30 a.m. Dr. Bochi,

10'30 - 12'30 training 1,

2-6 p.m. training 2.

9

th

July surgery

Kellan, Stern has scheduled my surgery on 9

th

July… She threatened me with it, after what I did to

Naome… I never thought it would be that soon…

I know, it is what I was afraid of. I'm just

outside her office…

Bochi didn't appreciate my refusal to let him see you.

She said she would sort it out with me when she is

172

back. Don't worry, this bitch won't touch you ever

again. I'll find a solution…

You mean she is leaving? It gives us forty-

eight hours. I said, crushed by despair.

I will have found a solution before that. Are

you going to Maggy's now?

Yes. Are you sure they won't be able to hear

me?

Wolf did what you asked, you have an hour.

But remember they can still see you…I left some food

in front of your door. I figured you would be

hungry…

Thank you…I didn't add anything else, letting

the news of Naome's funeral and my second

operation sink in.

I arrived in front of Maggy's door with a tray full of

bread, cheese and olives – grateful for Kellan's

choice – but distrustful for I had sensed that someone

else was inside with her.

Someone that fast? It could only be one person.

Maybe it was better this way, at least he wouldn't

remain in the dark. I reluctantly knocked at the door,

not knowing how Ben would react and saw him in

front of me two seconds later.

"Hey Ben… I'm…I…"

He suddenly put my tray aside and hugged me

tightly saying "Happy to see you sister…Come on

in."

173

I smiled as he was releasing me, spotting only

one camera in the hall. The surveillance was

drastically reduced in this apartment as I expected.

Maggy was on her sofa, a bowl of popcorn in

her hands. "What would be a girls' night without

good snacks?" she asked, smiling too.

I sat down next to her, putting the tray on her

living-room table, my back at the camera.

Ben followed.

When they both maintained a stony silence, I

suggested "Maybe we could watch a movie?"

"Good idea" said Ben. "Have you got

anything new Maggy?" he asked inspecting her 4D

movie collection. "Or maybe a classic? Cloud

Atlas?"

"Great!" she answered.

The familiar room turned into a real – or

almost real – landscape once more. I was sure I

would never tire of being in the audience. The movie

started.

"Wait, there no sound" Ben said, standing up,

ready to troubleshoot once more.

"Ben, sit down and pretend everything is

normal…" I quickly said.

"Faith, what's going on?" It was Maggy this

time.

"I'm sorry Maggy. I couldn't lie to you any

longer. We don't have much time. Look natural and

don't turn around. There's a camera in our back."

"I don't understand…A camera?" she asked.

"They're watching us…"

174

"Who are you talking about? How do you

know?" asked Ben, slightly turning around.

"Ben, stay still, please. Trust me…I'll explain

everything in a minute."

"I give you thirty seconds for old times' sake,

then I'm out of here" he finished.

"Stern is not who she says she is. She lied to

us all. Stern Corporation is not working for the

United States. They're a private organization working

for the highest bidder."

"How can you say that?" Maggy asked.

"I saw it."

"Where?" Ben continued.

"It's complicated, I…" I tried to explain

myself.

"First Naome, then this! If you think we're

going to believe you without proof, you've got

another think coming!" he replied.

"It's my ability…" I answered, bitter by his

change of attitude.

"Your ability? I thought nothing had changed

since your last appointment? Or did you lie about that

too…?" said Maggy.

"No, I've just discovered what it is. I…I can

take someone else's ability, use it as my own."

"How?" It was Ben this time.

"With a single touch for normal humans, but I

need to have a physical contact with a chip for it to

work on a supra."

"You said that you saw Stern was lying…"

Ben continued.

175

"Once I touch someone or someone's chip I

take on everything; their ability, their emotions, and

memories…I live everything they have but in a few

seconds. I saw Stern in someone else's memory."

"Whose?" asked Maggy.

"I can't tell you that…I promise I

wouldn't…"

"Prove it…" It was Ben again.

"You need to inflict me with pain at the same

time so Bochi doesn't become suspicious of my

data…"

"I don't understand…" Maggy continued.

"Stern regularly sends Jeanne and Jared on

missions… They were in India after the

earthquake…they saved all these people…"

"I know you're scared but you have to believe

me. Stern has been using you, all of us, just for

money. And it is just the top of the iceberg. God only

knows what else she's up to. We need to stop her."

Ben suddenly stood up, his back to the camera.

"I'm sorry, I'm not buying any of it. Maggy,

do what you want, but I'm out of here…"

"Ben I wouldn't lie to you…" I said, trying to

convince him. But it was too late, Ben was already

out of Maggy's apartment.

"Maggy, what do you want me to do? I can

leave too if that's what you want…" I asked her, still

not moving my head. I could sense she was

submerged with sadness and anger.

"Show me…" she finally said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, do it now before I change my mind!"

176

"Okay, you need to hurt me."

"How?"

"My knee… pretend to lean on it for a second

and let me touch your neck. I will shout to make it

more plausible, don't be afraid…you won't really

hurt me..."

As Maggy was pretending to want to leave

the room, she pushed herself up, with her right hand

on my injured knee.

I started shouting and I pretended to push her

away, touching her neck before being once more

carried along in someone else's life…

Show me where you come from Maggy… Show me

the very beginning.

Sand, an ocean of sand was the first image forming in

front of me, followed by a dozen of wooden

bungalows in a circle. It was warm here, warm and

dry. Utah.

Rare were the trees giving resting shadows to the

village. On a hill, slightly on my left, I could

distinguish a big red-brick house. I could hear a

plaintive cry in this otherwise silent vision.

I left the window from which I had just had a

glance at the village and turned around. There was a

woman resembling Maggy, lain on a bed. She was

shabbily dressed. She was alone, having given birth

to a beautiful baby girl she was rocking in her arms.

The ray of sun entering the only window of this

bedroom was blinding me. I was leaving them

already.

177

The next picture I was invited in was depicting the

same bedroom where Maggy had been brought into

the world.

She seemed peaceful, not older than six. Next

to her, a little boy playing with rags.

Jonah.

I could feel Maggy's protective instinct towards her

brother. No one would touch Jonah under her

supervision, not a single soul.

Her mother was pregnant again and wasn't

strong enough to raise them both.

Maggy wasn't much older than Jonah – there was just

a one-year difference between them.

But the prophet had chosen her.

Who's the prophet Maggy?

All the colors vanished into thin air.

I sat down on a wooden bench that I was sharing with

Maggy and her brother. We were waiting in a sort of

sanctuary.

The light here was bright and virginally white. A

wooden altar was raised in front of us. There was no

painting, no stained glass window, nor cross. The

only furniture seemed handmade, forming an

absolute safe haven for women and children alike.

Some were running, others were sleeping in

their mother's arms, or playing with rags.

They were all dressed soberly with a light-brown

tunic or dungarees for the boys. When the prophet –

Warren – appeared, they all went silent.

178

"Welcome to you all on this marvelous

Sunday where the Lord has called on us, all of us

once more…"

I could feel Maggy's awe for this man – the

only one in the assembly – awe mixed with a sense of

distrust she was forbidding herself to admit. She

would soon be ready to accomplish her duty as a wife

for the man the prophet would choose for her – a pure

man from their twin congregation. She would give

herself to this man once a month and live the rest of

her secluded life here, away from temptation, like her

mother before her.

Why did you leave them, Maggy? Tell me…

"Jonah? Jonah, where are you?" Maggy was running

around in panic, looking everywhere for her brother.

The sky was pitch black and the moon was

hidden by looming clouds.

I could feel my throat constrict as warm tears

were rolling down on both our cheeks. She had a last

place to check before giving way to despair but it was

forbidden, she knew it. She didn't care, she had a

mission; she had to look after him. She should have

woken up when he had left their bedroom but it

wasn't like him, sneaking out into the night.

She walked to the red-bricked house where a

light was still burning.

She knew there were cameras but it was merely a

precaution against prowlers. She felt she needed to

avoid being seen, she didn't know why…

She knew the field so well that she managed to find a

secured spot next to the window of Warren's house.

179

Strangely, there was light. So late at night? Maggy

gave way to her curiosity and looked inside.

She was petrified with horror by what she saw

through the slightly opened curtains. A fire was lit

and a large crimson red rug was bathing the room in a

strange atmosphere. Five familiar faces were

gathered in a circle, wearing white nightgowns.

Maggy recognized them all; they were her neighbors'

daughters, slightly older than her. In the middle of his

living room, Warren was lying Lydia, who was

motionless and in tears, on the blanket. Warren was

gently caressing her hair when he tore her nightgown

apart, showing her nakedness with pride.

Warren got undressed and two seconds afterwards

they were somewhat merged into one single entity.

Maggy had never seen anything like it. When they

stopped moving, Warren summoned another girl –

Becca – to lie down next to him. He pushed away

Lydia, who was still crying, and she retired in a

corner of the room.

Maggy knew what she had just witnessed was

morally wrong, every cell of her body did. I could

feel outrage and disgust rising in her, she had to do

something. She slowly stood up when she felt a hand

on her mouth, restraining her every movement.

She tried to struggle with the stranger but he was too

strong and Maggy didn't dare call for help, she didn't

want Warren to know what she had seen.

Her kidnapper carried her several feet away,

still holding her mouth tightly shut with his hand.

Warren wouldn't be able to hear them now…

180

Maggy bit deep into his hand and turned

around to kick him when she realized it was Jonah,

trying to contain his anger in a muffled voice.

"Jonah, I'm sorry…What…What are you doing

here?"

Right behind him, almost invisible in the

night, I distinguished another shadow – Sophie.

"We're getting out of here. I…I won't let him

touch Sophie…" Jonah explained.

"You knew? For how long?" Maggy asked

still shocked.

"Several weeks now…I couldn't sleep one

night and saw what he did to those girls… In his

house…I…I can't stay here anymore. We've been

planning to leave tonight…"

"Without letting me know…?"

"I didn't know how to explain it to

you…I…We would have come back for you…Before

it's too late."

"How do you know he won't try to lure me

into his house?"

"You need to start bleeding to be a part of the

fertility ceremony. My mom told me…" It was

Sophie this time.

"Bleeding? I don't understand…"

"You need to be a woman and be mature

enough to conceive a child. My first bleeding started

two days ago…I've been trying to conceal it but

mother saw me…I don't want to end up like this…"

She was on the verge of tears now.

181

"Jonah, we don't know what's on the other

side… Maybe what they told us about what's beyond

the mountain is right…"

"I don't believe a single word this man said. It

doesn't feel right Maggy…"

Maggy suddenly hugged her brother tightly

and whispered in his ear "Be careful…"

"Always am." he answered. "Come with us

Maggy…"

"What about Maddie, Glen and the others? I

can't leave them behind…" she said thinking about

her other siblings. "Go now, good luck to you

both…"

Sadness and grief started enveloping me as a gust of

wind was erasing this last image.

I could barely breathe here. There was sand on my

lips, in my nostrils, everywhere. We were soaked up

by the noonday sun. Another circle had formed in the

middle of the village. Warren was holding a book in

one hand.

"We are all gathered here today to witness the

judgment of these two individuals who have broken

the very essence of this congregation; our

trust…They disobeyed and left without warning their

families in the only purpose of fornicating.

They have been defiled by lust and therefore are in

Satan's hands. We cannot allow these two to further

soil our community…"

"Mum, say something…Mum, it's Jonah, you

know he would never do something like this…"

182

It was Maggy begging in her mother's ear. She

couldn't believe her indifference to what was

happening in front of them.

Jonah and Sophie were holding each other's

hand, Sophie was weeping while Jonah was looking

defiantly at the crowd.

"Therefore God the Almighty, through my

hands, will purify those souls by our most powerful

weapon, fire…" Warren continued speaking while

heading for a jerry can on the porch of one of the

houses.

"Nooooo…" Maggy shouted while Warren

was pouring gasoline over their head.

Maggy's other siblings were now restraining

and silencing her.

"Let God the Powerful cleanse these evil

spirits and bring them to His sanctuary…"

Warren took a lighter out of his left pocket.

Maggy threw a last glance at her brother who

muttered an ultimate sentence to her: "I love you…"

He encircled Sophie in his arms and closed his eyes.

Warren lit the fire.

An odor of burning flesh invaded my nostrils

and my ears were filled with the sound of Sophie's

screams.

A torrent of anger unleashed in Maggy as she

promised herself to kill the monster who had fathered

her and her siblings.

The sunlight turned into infinite sparkles, leading me

to another fragment of her past.

183

Maggy was in the circle now, with four other girls –

two of them crying, the others silent – a knife hidden

between her legs.

She knew Warren would choose her first, for

her behavior during her brother's ordeal. She had

waited for this moment, for six months.

She lay down as ordered, and discreetly hid

the knife under the rug while he was slowly getting

undressed, facing her sisters.

When Warren appeared to be stark naked he

approached her and tore off her nightgown. She

opened her legs, knowing that resisting would only

increase his excitement. He was leaning over her

now, ready to possess her – she could smell his heavy

breath – when she violently hit his neck with the

knife she had concealed and secretly sharpened for

weeks.

Once, twice, three times.

She could taste his blood on her tongue, her body

now concealed with a layer of ruby red.

Maggy could read surprise in the monster's

eyes – surprise and fear for what was to come. She

stood up and he knelt before her, his hands covering

his wound. But nothing could stop gushes of blood

from streaming out of his neck, forming a pool

around him. He collapsed on his wet blanket.

The other girls looked aghast, rooted to the

spot, and unable to say anything, some stifling their

shrill scream with their hands on their mouth.

After hearing the monster let out his last

breath, Maggy addressed her sisters: "Run now, and

never look back."

184

As she exited the living room, the knife still

in her hands, I could sense Maggy's disgust for what

she had done. She would never be able to undo it, or

to forget it. She was cursed.

The whole scene turned into a wave of blood.

How did you end up here?

The dizzying red image surrounding me slowly

shifted into brown and finally green. Walnut, elm and

oak trees formed an almost human barrier in this

peaceful landscape.

Maggy was moaning in her sleep. She was

only covered by a sleeping bag. I knew her feelings

so well – devastating guilt and abject horror. She

woke up suddenly, screaming.

I saw a boy running to meet her. Oh my… it

was Toby. With long hair, no glasses but I recognized

him instantly.

"Another nightmare?" he asked Maggy. But

she didn't replied. Instead of questioning her, he gave

her what he had been hiding in his pocket.

"Nice catch today. You should have seen this guy, a

total jerk. He didn't even protest when I stole his

wallet." Toby was emptying the content of it on the

ground, looking for money, when he eyed something

silver and sparkly.

A business card.

Maggy saw it too and picked it up.

"SC? What does it mean?" she asked.

I opened my eyes still in dreadful shock. I didn't care

about the cameras anymore, I needed to hold her.

185

I took Maggy in my arms and hugged her, as close as

I could, so close I sensed that she was totally at loss.

So I broke my embrace to enlighten her on

my behavior: "I've never met anyone so brave... I… I

wish I had your courage and your strength. Don't feel

guilty for what you did for you saved all those girls."

I saw her face turn as white as a sheet.

She wanted to say something but the sound

was turned up at this exact moment and we could

both hear Halle Berry recite her lines with passion.

I shook my head to silence her and we both faced the

mythical characters of Cloud Atlas.

But this time, I was holding her hand while

she was silently crying. I had so much difficulty in

containing my anger at all the suffering she had had

to endure – the light started flickering on and off.

I was sensing people approaching at the end of the

hall.

Kellan, they're coming for me. It's…shit, it's

Bochi.

I'm on my way. Hang on.

Soon afterwards someone was banging on the

door.

Maggy looked at me enquiringly. "Who could

that be? It's late…"

I shrugged, knowing exactly who was coming

for me.

Maggy opened the door and Bochi burst in,

accompanied by his secretary and a man I had never

186

seen before. I could feel their tension and anger

rising.

"You're coming with me now. Your chip has

recorded another peak." Bochi said coldly.

"It's nothing, don't worry. Wolf already fixed

my knee…" I tried to explain.

"Let me be the judge of that…I'm in charge

when Stern is away."

And seeing that I wasn't moving, Bochi, apparently

furious, gripped my hand without any warning. My

eyes rolled upwards and I was overwhelmed with

feelings and images I could not control this time.

I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to be the

witness of Bochi's sordid life. But the scenery I was

looking at turned out not to depict any of the

sordidness I had expected. And maybe this time I

would be able to navigate in his memories as I

wished.

Professor Bochi – William – had had an

ordinary childhood but had an extraordinary brain.

He had always felt out of place, totally alien to this

world. Chemistry, physics, biology, mathematics…

He mastered everything, had skipped several years to

obtain his degree in neuroscience in his twenties.

Each succession of images was similar to the

previous one: William studying, at the school library,

at his parents' house, in his dorm. The only

difference was his physical appearance that slightly

evolved.

He had no friends, no siblings, nor girlfriend, barely

communicated with his parents for whom he had only

187

disdain for their lack of education. Knowledge had

been his pursuit.

I witnessed his first surgery, the second, the

third and all those following. He had been the most

famous and youngest neurosurgeon in Europe. He

had reigned over all the scheduled brain surgeries of

the most renowned hospitals for decades.

His knowledge had now become mine. I knew

how to remove brain tumors – which ones to remove,

which ones to leave intact – I knew how to perform a

trepanation on six-month-old babies or fix

craniostenosis, I knew how to perform an awake

surgery to check the language function of the brain…

But why? Why have you come here? I was

slowly regaining control over my visions…

"Let's face it William, your hands are not as

steady as they used to be…Rafto is your best student.

He is a great surgeon. We think it's time you took

early retirement before losing your edge…"

Wrath was mounting, destroying everything

on its way. Bochi left without uttering a single word.

They seemed too obsolete. He left and never came

back.

In the hall he took a last glance at the card he had

received two weeks before – a silver card, with no

name on it – only two letters…The familiar blur took

over.

They were both in her office.

188

"You know I'm right. Look around you. Life

on Earth is no longer sustainable because of

humanity or the lack thereof.

We need to act now. My program would ensure the

survival of the best of us. We need human beings to

be generous, open-minded, and respectful, with a

sense of honor and bravery. We could do it. We

could start from scratches and reshape a world that is

meant to survive. You and I… Avenging my people

and yours too…" Stern was explaining, two files on

her desk, one of them entitled C.A.N.D.E.L.S., an

acronym for Children of Auschwitz Nazi's Deadly

Lab Experiments Survivors.

"What's in it for me?" Bochi asked her even

if I could already feel this idea slowly preying on his

mind.

"You get to practice as long as you want and

pass along your knowledge to others, plus an

indecent amount of money each month. You'll be in

charge of the surgeries in these premises and I'll be

in charge of the recruits, leading the program."

As he was remaining silent, she added:

"This could be it, you know…What do you think?

"Why me?" he asked hesitantly.

Instead of giving any reason whatsoever, she

handed him one of the files on her desk.

It was a yellowed file that he slowly opened, not

understanding her gesture.

In it, we could read the surgical details of an external

CFS drainage on a little girl who had suffered from

hydrocephalus, and, at the bottom of the last page,

Bochi's signature.

189

As he was looking at her with intense eyes, she didn't

fail to notice his surprise and admiration. Jilla Ernst

had been her name then.

"I owe you my life and so much more…" she

stopped there.

A strong wind took the images away and I was

quickly transported somewhere else.

I was in an operating room now, I recognized

the white walls and surgical tools on a tray. In front

of me a limp body was on the surgical table, his face

down – the familiar machines linked to tubes coming

out of his arms. Jared. He wasn't even moving while

Bochi was drilling a hole in the visual area of his

skull. Fifth attempt. Make it work, make it work…

Bochi's thoughts were loud and clear.

I knew the exact procedure, I knew he was about to

insert the needle next to stimulate unused parts of

Jared's brain. I knew excessive bleeding was the

major risk of this surgery.

It had been the cause of his last failure.

I also knew he had been too impatient the first times,

inserting the needle too deeply, causing brain damage

to almost all of his patients.

I could feel his excitement at the prospect of

succeeding. Everything turned into a blur.

The next surgery was similar to the first one, but this

time it was Kellan's.

Professor Bochi was already inserting the needle into

his Wernicke's area – center of his language

comprehension – animated by the same hope and

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fascination he had had during his twin brother's

surgery. If these two operations were to be successful

and his creations viable, he would have ensured

himself an even brighter future, he thought.

Dread was filling me when I noticed Kellan's

sudden arrhythmia and I became frantic, his body

having suddenly been replaced by another one.

This new body gave up fighting without letting

Professor Bochi perform CPR.

The person I saw next on the table never woke up

after surgery.

Every new image gave way to another, each surgery

to a new one. The only different element was the

position of the patient's head and the zone where

Bochi's potentially fatal drill occurred.

Then it was Jeanne's turn.

I was amazed at how little information Bochi

had about his patient. He was just interested in the

groundbreaking aspect of each surgery but he no

longer saw any of them as real human beings.

After having successfully used the Somatosensory

Area on Jeanne, he tried the Sensory Area on two

patients before succeeding with Wolf.

As for Ben, he was an immediate success. It was

Bochi's first attempt to drill in the Cerebellum –

center to the motor section of the brain – and it

191

rapidly proved to be efficient. Ben's hands were

already moving so rapidly when he woke up…

Three other surgeries failed before Toby's Higher

Mental function alteration, three young people died

in the name of a supposedly scientific discovery to

improve the future and our lives.

Maggy's surgery was the most painful to watch.

Her heart had been on the verge of giving up

several times.

Her operation had been so similar to Toby's,

both involving the frontal lobe but not at the same

place. This was intentional of course. Bochi was

detailing every surgical procedure in his files, with

the intent of controlling the outcome of each

alteration. But no matter what he tried to accomplish,

nothing turned out to be what he had expected, as if

these surgeries had a mind of their own.

Then I sensed a shift, in him, in his work.

He was getting impatient, piercing two

different holes in each patient's skull now. It was

never enough.

None of the following 'volunteers' survived

the surgical trauma but he still wanted more…

Two cavities became three, still no survivor.

So many deaths for one man's vanity, it was

outrageous.

I recognized myself on the table now, my skull

partially shaved.

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I was filled with horror, and curiosity, for I

was about to witness what this bastard had done to

me.

He started piercing a hole in my frontal lobe

and inserted a needle, deeply. He removed it and

started the procedure all over again, but this time, on

another part of my brain – the Cerebral cortex. Then

he turned to the Parietal lobe, the Occipital one, the

Temporal lobe and the Cerebellum.

How did I survive all this?

The next image showed me how careful he

was to apply a special ointment to cover the

consequences of his butchery, on all but one area.

Wait, maybe he knows.

Are there others, others like me?

I suspected he didn't know for his memory showed

me absolutely no clue…

Everything turned black, as black as night, when I got

to see his last operation; Naome's.

Oh my God, not her, not her…

Bochi was in front of me, trying to replicate

the exact procedure he had used on me, inserting his

needle still deeper.

Quickly I was startled by the machine beeping,

signaling her flat line. Naome Drest was gone…and I

had witnessed her murder.

Why? Why her? I was repeating to myself, but

I already knew who had been behind it.

I woke up with a start to find Bochi exactly where I

had left him, next to me, so close.

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This was when I lost control.

I stood up, shouting at him. I was frantic. "You

bastard! You killed her, you bastard! You murderer!

You killed them all!"

I hit him hard in the face, and kicked his right knee

with all my strength. I knew exactly where to hit.

His bodyguard tried to stop me but it was no

use, I knocked him out, Bochi, already lying on the

floor writhing with pain, his leg broken. He wouldn't

be able to escape me now.

Bochi's assistant was screaming in horror,

and I could hear Maggy shouting my name, asking

me what was wrong but I didn't respond.

I saw William was bleeding heavily now, still

laying on the floor as I was ready to give him his

deathblow.

I was trying to savor this moment for he had

destroyed so many lives, mine included. I sat down

on his rib cage and gripped his throat, harder and

harder. He was making strange noises, blood bubbles

coming out of his mouth.

The room was silent now, his assistant had

passed out and Maggy had found a comforting spot in

a corner, unable to react.

I knew what I was doing, I knew I was strangling

him. My hands wouldn't let go until he disappeared

from the face of the Earth.

But suddenly I stopped.

I couldn't. I wouldn't have another death on my

conscience…

I burst into tears when someone took me in

his arms. I knew who it was.

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Faith…

He deserves it, K. He did it… He… But I

can't. I can't do it.

Faith, what's going on?

I… I was lost, or on the point of losing

myself. I started sobbing even more.

Did you see? Did you see what he did to her? He

killed Naome, he… He butchered her.

All of a sudden, Kellan released me.

Still in shock, it took me several seconds to

notice that we were encircled by a dozen heavily

armed men aiming at us. I refused to put my hands up

as I had other plans for all of them.

Don't! That's exactly what they want you to

do…They must never see what you're really capable

of…His thoughts were broken off as one soldier

knocked Kellan out.

I felt a pinch on my neck. My eyelids were

suddenly so heavy… I was tired…

I gave up fighting and it was my turn to collapse on

the floor…

CHAPTER 7 –

Ghostly Past

195

I opened my eyes, still feeling dizzy. My whole body

was cold because of the surface it was lying on, so I

decided to sit down. My senses were alert.

Everything was dark around me but I was quickly

adjusting to the luminosity or, for better words, the

absence of it.

K? Oh my Gosh, Kellan. Kellan, can you hear

me? Where are you? Why aren't you answering?

I needed to get out of here and find him.

I started observing my surroundings. My cell was

fifty square feet and totally empty. There was no bed,

no chair, nothing. All I could sense around and under

me was water, dark water. We must be deep.

They must have taken me to one of the isolation

rooms on the last floor, the thirteenth floor…I had

found this item of information in Bochi's mind.

I heard cameras everywhere and something – or

someone – else.

I need to find a door.

I started checking the smooth walls imprisoning me,

on the lookout for any tiny detail that could hide a

way out, but there was nothing. I was alone, once

more.

Kellan? "Kellan?" I was screaming his

name now, banging on the walls.

"Somebody? Somebody hear me! Come on! Come

over here you cowards! Come on!"

Warm tears – of anger and bitterness – were clouding

my vision as I went on shouting, calling his name.

196

After what felt like half an hour, I stopped shouting,

there was no use.

I sat down in a corner and held my knees

tightly. And I started thinking. I was thinking about

the best way to use my new powers.

I could control the elements around me, I could hear,

see, taste better than anyone else on Earth and I had

now a comprehensive knowledge of the premises

where I was locked up.

But I also remembered what Kellan had told me.

Maybe he had been right, maybe they wanted to

gauge my reactions…

Even though I knew the risks, I couldn't leave him,

nor Maggy in Stern's hands. I needed to do

something. Think! Think…I was repeating myself and

at the same time, I was trying to find a way out. Not

finding any, I could still feel the effect of the drugs

they had injected me with.

I was suddenly blinded by a powerful bright

light and felt a pure surge of adrenalin as I saw Jared

with his black eyes in front of me.

Jeanne and Toby were next, looking at me

with a murderous look. They had all come from the

ceiling, like the mechanism I had used to enter

Stern's office – which answered my question as how

to get out of here.

Of course Jeanne opened hostilities, not

losing time as usual "Poor darling, all alone and

crying in the dark?"

"Stop it Jeanne, let's get this over with.

Toby?" Jared asked with a penetrating voice.

197

I felt my feet get off the ground, Toby had

stretched out his hand in my direction.

I was stuck in the upper left corner of my

prison, my head touching the ceiling. I was unable to

move. Stay calm, stay calm.

K, if you can hear me, I'm on the thirteenth floor…

K?

"Well Faith, Look at you! I must say I'm not

impressed at all. Taking all these measures for a

weak little girl?" Jeanne pretended to ask Toby, "I

think Stern overestimated you…"

"What do you want from me?" I ventured.

"Well, don't be so surprised, it's payback

time, honey. I can't believe my brother let you

manipulate him. Toby, a little bit lower would

you…" Jared added.

I could feel my back moving against the cold

wall, my whole body going down, stopped mid-way

to the floor.

"Now you will feel what pain is…" Jeanne

was moving her palms in the direction of the hatch

they had used to come down here, then back at me.

Small bubbles of light were floating down, landing

on her. Her sparkling hands became the only source

of light in the room. She directed her hands at me.

She started laughing delightedly while burning my

thighs. The reigning smell was of burnt clothes and

flesh. Fortunately, the serum was, still, very effective,

I was totally insensitive to pain.

"What's happening, she should be groaning

with pain by now..." asked Toby.

198

"Are you sure you're as powerful as you

claim to be?" I said, mocking them all.

Jeanne looked at Toby, furiously, and at me

uncomprehendingly. She gave it another try. This

time, she aimed at my breasts. I could see and smell

my flesh burning, small blisters were forming. But

my thighs were already looking better and I knew

that the scarred tissue would be gone tomorrow. I

didn't even flinch.

"Is that all you've got, Jeanne. I'm

disappointed!" I told her. I knew it would trigger an

even more violent reaction from her but I couldn't

help it. I had had enough of her, of this place, of all

the lies.

"You slut, you will see what I'm capable

of…" she answered, unable to control herself.

She took some more energy from the lights above her

head and redirected her hands at my face this time.

Toby was still immobilizing me and Jared

was waiting impatiently when I felt all her rage

unfurling.

I needed to be able to see if I wanted to get

out of here alive. Nooo… I shouted to myself and

closed my eyes.

I felt wind caressing my face.

But instead of burning, my body fell heavily on the

floor. I opened my eyes and realized I could still

see…

What happened?

In front of me Ben was racked with pain, his

torso severely burnt. I bent over and took him in my

arms.

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"What the fuck, Jeanne? Look at what you've

done!" Jared said enraged.

"He's never hurt anybody!" I was looking at

her while she was looking at him with terror.

Toby was numb, not knowing what to do

while Jared was sitting down next to me, holding Ben

too. "Ben, hang in there buddy…I'm sorry…"

I interrupted him "What are you doing here,

Ben?"

"M…Maggy said you were telling the

truth…I…" he slowly whispered.

"Shhhh… It's okay Ben, you're okay." I was

trying to comfort him, and myself.

"I… I looked for you…everywhere…"

"Ben, not you…you shouldn't be here. I'm so

sorry…" I apologized.

"It's alright…I…I'm sorry I doubted you…

I…I couldn't…I didn't…Do… what you need to

do…and get out of here…please."

Silent tears were slowly trickling down my

cheeks as I applied my right hand on his neck.

What do you want me to see Ben?

Baby Ben was wrapped in a blanket.

It was cold – winter was harsh here – and

noisy. Cars were honking at every street corner.

He could smell polluted air as his mum was walking,

rocking him in his crib.

He couldn't speak but he had felt something awful

would happen soon.

A door had closed behind us but the warm air

inside failed to reassure him. His mum handed him

200

over to someone he didn't know. He could sense her

choking back tears.

"Are you sure?" He heard another woman ask

his mum.

She didn't reply. "I love you…" she

whispered in his ear before he heard the same door

closing again.

He couldn't have been older than eight but Benjamin

was already helping his mum – or rather the person

he called mum – this time carrying the groceries

inside after a long walk back from the supermarket.

As the eldest of five children, he was the only

one his mum could count on, especially after his

dad's hasty departure. He knew she could be bossy

but nothing had justified his choice to leave; nothing

except Samuel.

His baby brother had been fighting for his life since

leukemia had wiped out any hope for a normal life or

an easy one.

Not surprisingly Bill – his old man – had wanted a

way out. He was the head of the family now. And

with this thought I could feel the heavy sense of

responsibility he was burdening himself with.

It was a blur of colors and patterns now…

When I saw Ben next, he was older. But not

old enough to do what he was doing – working two

jobs just to pay the bills, barely able to cope with the

tiredness that such a lifestyle implied but too proud to

admit it.

201

This wasn't the life he had envisioned for

himself but he had to forget about design, he knew it.

His career choice had always felt odd in his mother's

eyes and it strongly contrasted with what a boy of his

age and neighborhood was supposed to opt for.

He was going home, late at night after his

shift at the restaurant.

The boys were there too of course, filling in

the steps of neighboring ramshackle houses, like the

piles of garbage filling in their Detroit streets and that

no one cared to remove, he thought.

"Hey yo, what's up man?" It was Gibbs, with

his large square shoulders and his cap too small for

him. "Hey listen, bro,'ve got nice job coming, we're

short one man…"

"Thanks Gibbs, I need to go…" Ben quickly

replied as he was entering the crowded apartment.

Inside, he bumped into the twins jumping up and

down, running around everywhere, shouting, doing

everything except listening to their older sister.

"Ruth? What's going on here? Tim, Kyla, sit

down now!" he ordered them.

"But we're hungry!" Ruth appeared out of

the kitchen.

"Where is mum?" Ben asked.

"She left with Samuel three hours ago… His

temperature was too high. There is nothing left to eat

and no money in the jar…I…"

"It's okay, I'm going to the store, keep an eye

on them, okay?" He left the room bitter, knowing

exactly what it meant – hospital bills. He needed to

find a solution and quickly.

202

On his way out, he saw Gibbs again but this

time stopped in front of him.

Everything darkened around me…

He was scared and trapped in a chaotic situation he

could not rectify anymore. I knew that it was how he

was feeling.

Ben was behind the wheels, waiting for Gibbs

and RJ – Gibbs' younger brother – in front of the gas

station. It was their third night on the road but Ben

wasn't getting used to any of it. He was overwhelmed

with shame and hadn't been able to watch himself in

the mirror lately, not after what he had done.

He knew he had run out of options, he knew it was

the only way to save his brother and to feed his

family, he had no choice – at least it was what he was

trying to convince himself of…

His blood started pulsing hard when he heard

another car from a distance.

What are they doing? Come on…Come on…Panic

was suddenly mounting in his guts. Hurry…Now.

He rapidly caught a glimpse of Gibbs walking

towards him with his dark bag full of their loot.

Ben opened the door and let him sit down at

the back of the car. "Where is RJ?" he asked.

"He's coming, no worries bro…"

"Gibbs, we need to get the fuck out."

"Relax, bro. There he is…"

"Man, he needs to hurry…" Ben was almost

losing it.

We heard a shot and all of a sudden we saw

RJ running out of the gas station shop, his hands

203

empty, calling his brother. Midway he suddenly

collapsed, a pool of blood forming around him.

"RJ…" Gibbs was shouting his name.

Panic was troubling both their judgment and ability

to act. Gibbs didn't dare get out of the car but Ben

couldn't resolve to leave him behind.

He quickly moved and ran to his partner in

crime, took RJ in his arms and comforted him. "It's

okay, you're gonna be fine. Don't worry. Let me take

you to the hospital now."

But when he looked up, Ben saw Gibbs had already

switched on the ignition, letting the tires screech in

the night…

Ben was alone in his next fragment – alone and

blaming himself for everything that had happened the

days before.

He wouldn't give them what they wanted, he

wouldn't give them Gibbs.

His cell was small and smelled of piss, the

walls were painted in a soft gray that failed to hide

their purpose. His bed looked a lot like the bunk bed I

had slept on my first night in Stern's premises.

He could hear other prisoners cry or whine

and he could smell the odor of alcohol impregnated

on their clothes, at every exhalation. Everything

about this place disgusted him but he was even more

disgusted by his acts.

This was it, retribution day. He couldn't sleep, he

couldn't close his eyes without being crushed by a

feeling of dread.

204

He could hear footsteps now, of several

people walking. He must have been daydreaming for

they were sounding like high heels.

In front of him, I recognized Jeanne and

Jared.

"Looks like you need company, pretty

face…" Jeanne said, already sounding like Stern.

I woke up from these visions, sweating. Even though

I knew Stern's recruitment pattern, I truly understood

the depth of her victims' disarray as I was living their

life through their memories.

I knew what was on Ben's mind now

"I promise I will help them, I won't let your

family down…You have my word Ben…" I

whispered in his ear, just in time, just before he let

out his last breath.

"Noooo…" Jared shouted, still holding Ben's

lifeless body and rocking him.

I looked up and saw Toby walking backwards

in horror, ready to exit the room.

Jeanne was looking at Jared, not knowing

what to do.

It was now or never. I needed to choose

between those three to survive…

But could I trust myself with Jeanne's power?

One thing was certain, I couldn't let Toby escape and

alert Stern. I pulled him back inside, holding him by

his shirt before he had had the time to realize what

had hit him.

205

I had just experienced the extent of my new

ability and they were, all three, scrutinizing me with

wary eyes. This was when I made up my mind, as

Toby was offering me the possibility to destroy the

whole facility.

This life was one of a spoilt kid whose rich parents

had never grown tired of excessively saying yes to.

Each succession of past events depicted the brand

new bikes, clothes, toys Toby had received,

immediately followed by the next best thing he

absolutely needed to possess.

His indecent lifestyle had attracted the

jealousy of others and he had paid the price, being the

constant victim of their bullying. He had come home,

on several occasions, covering his bruises. He had

never been able to talk about it with his parents, for

they had never been around. He had never truly

known if they would have cared anyway.

His parents had invested in schist extraction,

regardless of all environmental issues and had rapidly

built their Texan fortune.

The flow of images slowed down and stopped,

pausing on one memory.

All three were chatting around a huge table in the

middle of their red dining room. The gold

chandeliers, tapestries and richly ornate drapes, the

206

famous paintings on the walls: everything exuded

enormous wealth and sheer luxury.

"Why not law, honey? He sure could do it…"

"As long as I get to have my own

apartment…" said Toby, faking his lack of interest

for studies. He knew he could achieve – or buy –

anything. He would probably get bored at university

as well.

"It's settled then. Anyway, it's your turn to

bring money to this family. Your dad needs a rest…"

His parents started laughing.

The image turned rapidly into fog…

Night. It was dark all around me.

I was back in Toby's bedroom. He had

surprised his parents by spending the night at home,

like before. He had wanted to take a break from

university, had outgrown the parties and girlfriends,

and was certainly bored with the lack of intellectual

stimulation he had encountered on campus. He would

tell them he was planning to stop in the morning. For

now he was looking at his ceiling, smiling because he

could hear them laugh in the living room, so late at

night.

Then he heard a hushed, a sudden and weird

silence fell over the mansion.

Followed by a muffled click sound. It startled Toby.

"No!" He heard his dad scream.

Toby quickly stood up and walked to the hall

of the second floor, which formed an open view on

the rest of the gigantic house.

207

That was when he heard men speak aggressively. He

decided to hide in the shadow, at the top of the stairs.

His dad was attached to a chair in the middle

of the living-room, his face livid, his mom was

nowhere to be seen.

"Give us the code, you bastard. Give us the code and

we'll let you die quickly, like your wife."

Toby started panicking, silently rocking is

body against the wall.

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Don't lie to us, Brett told us…"

Uncle Brett? Toby thought.

"Brett is behind this? He's too cowardly to

get his hands dirty, huh? Whatever he's offered you,

I'll double it…"

"I'm afraid it doesn't work that way…Now

speak!" the last man said, inserting a knife in his

victim's thighs.

Toby's dad screamed even more.

Toby put his hands on his mouth, to avoid

sobbing out loud.

"Okay, okay. Let me catch my breath, let

me..."

When his captor showed him the metal of his

blade again, Toby's father didn't hesitate "Eileen

23091956. It will give you access to every account

but not the safe."

"Don't worry about that, we know where you

hid the key and we know where to find the bastard

you call son."

"Leave him out of here, he's done no…"

208

But the first man didn't let him finish his

sentence, he simply sliced his throat, cold-bloodedly.

"Okay, let's go. We have what we came for and we

need to get rid of them all before dawn."

The intruders both spread gasoline on the

drapes, sofas and carpeted floors and one of them lit

the fire.

I was watching Toby, stuck in his corner,

unable to move, frozen with horror. The flames had

almost taken control over the first floor when he

reluctantly moved his feet to one of his bedroom

windows.

The night engulfed us both.

Toby didn't know where else to go. He was cold and

alone, in the dark. He had taken refuge in Post Oak

Savannah. No one would find him there.

But even after a week he hadn't got used to

the sounds and movements of wildlife. He hadn't

dared close his eyes at night, he was starving and

dehydrated.

Fishing. He would try it when the sun was up,

his dad had taught him…

Dad…His sobs were resonating with

bobwhites' peeps.

He woke up, feeling even more drained than a few

hours before. He had been so exhausted that he had

cried himself to sleep.

But now it was time to move, he needed to or

he would die, he knew it.

209

He stood up and headed for the stream he thought he

could hear, flowing fast. He was walking slowly,

stumbling every two minutes.

This was when he saw her – his guardian

angel – soberly dressed with a long robe, waiting for

him on the river bank.

He passed out, calling for her.

I witnessed Maggy carefully walking towards him…

"What the f…?" I could hear Toby's protests as I

realized I was back in my cell.

I released him before he could pronounce any

other word. I glanced at the cameras around me

knowing for sure that, behind them, they had already

seen too much. But I hadn't had any choice and

regrets were totally useless down here….

I could hear them, behind the paneled ceiling, in each

corner, they were recording everything. They were

observing us, they were observing me.

I turned the palms of my hands in their

direction. I focused. I quickly disabled all the

cameras, forcing the wall hiding them to collapse

with my new ability. Small cracks appeared on the

walls subsequently.

It was time to face my jailers.

Toby hadn't waited for any explanation, he

was already trying to escape for the second time.

210

I brought him back using his own tricks

against him. "Toby, stay still. I won't hurt you." I

could see fear and fascination on his face.

"You witch, what…? What did you do to me,

huh?"

"Don't be such a pussy, Toby. She's

obviously been altered the same way that you have.

Show us again!" Jeanne said.

"You've seen enough. The only thing you

need to know is that you've been deceived…"

Having said that I realized the cracks had enlarged

and with them water was trickling down the walls,

hiding behind them a pitch black ocean and its

inhabitants.

"By you, certainly!" Toby continued.

The small stream had become a continuous

flow of water, triggering an alarm, whose screeching

sound was resonating everywhere. My cell was about

to collapse.

"Jared, please take Ben out of here… Go,

now!" I demanded when I saw that no one was

moving. "Now!" I ordered "Evacuate everyone!"

hoping my voice hadn't betrayed my surge of

anxiety. I threw a last glance at them, and I saw

Jared, carrying Ben, ready to leave the room. I

levitated them out and locked the hatch behind them.

Once they were out I forced the wall to break

in front of me, a powerful stream of water surged in

the room. I took a big breath, there was no time to

lose. A strong current pushed me back, forcing

another wall to collapse. I was carried away.

But I wasn't the only one.

211

I saw another body.

Oh my Gosh… Kellan?

I was engulfed by the pitch black abyss.

212

CHAPTER 8 –

Relished Freedom

I propelled myself with my new speed, moving like a

dolphin.

My eyes were slowly getting used to the dark

but even with my improved sight, there was still no

sign of Kellan...

Nothing.

I started to panic.

I would run out of air eventually and would be forced

to go back to the surface.

Not without him! Not without him!

I noticed my ears were hurting.

The pressure I realized. I knew I had to equalize, to

protect my eardrums and get rid of the nitrogen

bubbles stuck in my body before reaching the

surface.

I once more used Maggy's abilities.

I felt better and started to look more closely.

Kellan, where are you? Kellan?

This was all too much, I couldn't lose him.

Not him! I needed to find another way.

I stopped, finding a new balance in this world where

there was no up or down.

Focus! Listen. I could hear fish moving,

mantas hiding. And in the middle of all these

213

incessant clattering noises, the sound of air released

in the ocean.

Kellan?

I opened my eyes, when I saw a darker patch of

black among all the different shades.

Kellan…

I hurried down, caught him by his shirt and

immediately took him in my arms.

He felt so cold.

We needed to go to the surface this instant. There

was no time to lose.

We were ascending faster and faster.

But I wouldn't let Stern get away with it…

I focused on all the pillars maintaining the facility

and forced them to collapse, one floor after another,

starting at the bottom.

This should give everyone enough time to escape, I

thought, praying, at the same time, for Kellan to

survive…

Air, I need air!

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PART 3

"I have cast fire upon the world, and

see, I am guarding it until it blazes."

Gospel of Thomas

157'04.7"N 7315'41.4"E

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CHAPTER 1 –

True Colors

It was drumming with rain when I reached the

surface, still holding Kellan close to me. The sky was

so black that I couldn't see the horizon. Or maybe it

was still night… I didn't know anymore, I was totally

disorientated. Maybe they had lied about time too…

I need to get him to safety, now.

I started swimming on my back, holding his head out

of the water, I swam and swam as hard as I could, so

fast that we were almost flying. Thank you, Ben I

thought.

I stopped, still in the middle of nowhere,

when I noticed a thin white line in total contrast with

the rest of the landscape.

An island?

I couldn't wait much longer, his pulse was so faint I

couldn't feel it anymore. I hurried, pushing my body

to its limit when my back touched sand.

I stood up and pulled Kellan out of the water.

We were encircled by a beach of white sand

and a rough ocean. Several palm trees and other trees

I didn't recognize were scattered on this deserted

island.

I decided to settle Kellan under one of them, and

pulled him by his arms.

Two gray herons were eyeing us with disconcert, not

at all preoccupied by the lashing rain.

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"Here, let me get rid of this first" I said as I

was stripping him off his shirt to listen to his heart.

It was barely audible. I checked his pulse, it was too

faint to hear. I put my left ear on his chest again.

Nothing.

Oh God. No, no, no. Don't take him, don't take him

away from me. Not now, not now, I was pleading.

I started CPR as I recalled the nurse and

Bochi's training.

One, two, three, four, five. Breathe! I thought as I

was inflating air in his cold body.

One, two, three…

"Come on!" I was now shouting at him while

pressing on his heart.

"Come on, wake up. Damn you, Kellan, I said wake

up!" Lightning was now tearing the sky apart. He

was still unconscious. Blood was slowly dripping

from his nose.

Oh my Gosh. Think, think. Alright, it could be …

decompression sickness. I can do something about it.

I put my hands at ten inches above his body, starting

with his head, then going down, and focused on

removing all the air trapped inside of him.

I willed this air to exude from his every pore. He was

still not breathing.

Anger was deepening inside of me, and rage.

I was furious, furious at him, for letting me down. I

was crying and yelling at him, hitting his heart with

all my strength. "Come back, now! Kellan, please.

Don't do this to me. I love you, do you hear me? I

love you! I can't live without you…"

I was now sobbing as panic had gripped me too.

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What can I do? What can I do?

Thunder was crashing in the sky overhead

when I had an idea. If Maggy could control the four

elements, I should be able to use this storm.

Please, don't let him die, don't let him die.

I stood up, arms outstretched, palms up.

Let's try it.

I concentrated on energy, and on all the elements

around me. I visualized lightning, my fingertips

channeling all this energy, mastering it.

I could see this lightning outstretching now, touching

my fingertips and filling my whole body with it.

When I felt ready I applied my hands on Kellan's

heart and sent electric shocks.

Once…twice….three times.

"Wake up" I was still yelling at him.

All of a sudden, Kellan coughed and vomited

all the water contained in his lungs. He opened his

eyes and looked at me intensely.

Tears were trickling down my cheeks as I

squatted down next to him.

"Why are you crying?" he whispered in my

ear.

"I thought I had lost you…I…" I said as I was

trying to justify my tears.

"Where…are… we?" he asked with

difficulty.

"I don't know exactly…I must confess I don't

have a good sense of orientation…" I smiled.

"They…what… happened?"

"Everything is gone, the whole premises. We

needed to get out…" I explained.

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"How? I…What… did they do…?" he asked,

worried.

"Nothing, don't worry…Your brother paid

me a visit with Jeanne and Toby… Ben is dead…" I

painfully recalled.

"How…?" he further asked.

"He died trying to save me…I'm sorry I

failed you, I couldn't convince your brother..."

"He's… so blinded by Stern…Faith, I'm…

sorry for Ben...I know he was your friend…"

As my eyes started watering again, I looked the other

way. "Faith…"

"I…I wish I had been able to prevent it."

We both remained silent for a while. "Rest

now…" I said lying down next to him.

"What now?" I asked him after what had felt to be

hours. Kellan had sat down on the sand, his face had

regained some colors.

"We need to make sure they don't find us.

Stern must have been alerted by now…Wait! Our

chip! We need to get rid of both…They could lead

Stern right to us!" he exclaimed, trying to stand up.

"Don't! Stay still. I've got this!" I quickly

replied, slowly moving his head on my lap.

I carefully turned his head to the left and

touched his soft skin.

Even now it was sending electricity through my

fingers. I placed my hand above his neck, focused

and willed his chip to leave his body. It was resisting.

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I tried to change its shape, to flatten it and heard a

noise, like the cracking sound of an eggshell.

Kellan started screaming.

The chip. His chip must be the cause. When I firmly

took his head in my hands and inspected his skull, I

could feel that it had released something, a cold

liquid, like ice in his brain.

I need to get rid of it, now.

Kellan went back to screaming with pain

when I visualized this small object inside him and

called for it, with all my will. He cried out even more

when I caught it in my hand. It was full of blood and

flesh. Got you! Now my turn. Quickly. I thought as I

was putting my palms at the base of my skull,

followed the same procedure and caught the chip in

my left hand. When I glanced at it I saw it was small

and circular – the size of a fingernail. I stood up and

crushed them both with my foot.

Inspecting what was left of our chips, I saw a dark

liquid dripping out of them.

"Kellan, come over here, quickly."

But my surroundings had become alarmingly

silent. When he didn't answer, I turned around. He

was lying on the ground, face down in the sand. I put

my hands above his wound and ordered the poison to

leave his body, it was leaving a black trail behind.

Kellan had still not moved.

K? Wake up, please...

He suddenly started to cough several times

and took a deep breath. "Faith…" He was himself

again.

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"You weren't moving, I…thought I had lost

you again…" This time I burst into tears.

"Don't cry, please…" he said erasing my

tears with the palm of his hand.

"Don't do this to me, ever again! Promise

me!"

"I…I promise" he answered. He seemed

exhausted.

"You need to rest now…" and he closed his

eyes without me asking him to do so a second time.

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CHAPTER 2 –

Gleam of Light

The sun was already going down. Kellan had spent

the whole day sleeping.

I was walking relentlessly, trying to figure out what

to do next. We needed to warn the authorities, we

needed to stop Stern.

On the other hand I couldn't leave Maggy behind,

nor Wolf. Or they would end up being the victims of

Stern's cruelty as well. I knew it. Kellan would never

leave his brother either. I knew that too.

I was trying to ponder whether our best solution was

to go to them, while bringing fresh coconut and a

washed piece of cloth to Kellan.

When I came back to the tree under which he

had rested, he wasn't there.

I started panicking.

Kellan? I asked in my head.

In the water… I'm coming, he immediately

answered. "Everything's okay?"

"Yeah, I guess. Look what I found!"

He smiled when I showed him the prize of my

hunt, already cracked open in my hands.

When he had emptied the whole content of it, he

came to stand in front of me and took my face in his

hands, looking into my eyes.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Something I should have done a long time

ago…" and he kissed me, tenderly.

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I felt so tense and relieved at the same time.

He's alive, he's alive… this new passion invading

me, mixing with residue of anxiety.

I could feel my warmth and his.

Desire was no longer contained, this fire was blazing.

My whole body was reacting to his.

I broke our first kiss to catch my breath. I felt

exhausted by this tsunami of ambivalent emotions but

there was one thing I was sure of: my unconditional

love for him, and him only. I couldn't let go of him,

so I kissed him again, but this time even more

fiercely, my body finding his.

We were a perfect match.

I removed my shirt and his.

His body was sculpturally built.

I was touching his chest, and his heart, his hands

mirroring mine, caressing my skin. They felt soft and

strong at the same time, like the petals of a rose.

We were both naked in front of each other, when his

arms encircled me again, but this time in a

lovemaking embrace.

We were free and together.

Kellan lay me down on the sand and resumed

kissing me, finding his way inside of me, finding his

way inside of my soul.

His movements, warming my whole body,

were increasing in intensity, until, in an explosion of

love, we merged into one.

It was ecstasy.

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I woke up in the middle of the night and looked

around me.

He had vanished.

Where are you? Kellan? I shouted in my head.

I stood up and started looking for him, frantic with

worry.

I was walking fast, narrowly eyeing every

corner, every dark green patch I encountered.

Animals were waking up now – mosquitoes, lizards,

bats, snakes…

I could hear them crawl and see them feed. I had

become a predator among them, on the look-out for

unusual sounds.

My thirty-minute walk ended up abruptly

when I saw myself in a mirror wall in front of me,

reflecting the plants and trees all around as well. I

walked around it, careful not to touch its faces.

It was an imposing twenty-foot-high cube, directly

erected out of the ground.

There was no door, no apparent way to enter it.

What do I do now?

I needed to touch this structure if I wanted to find any

entrance. Let's check if it's safe first.

I focused my attention on a coconut tree next to me

and ordered its fruit to land on top of the cube with

gale force. A bump. Then nothing. I tried once more,

but this time on the wall facing me.

For a second I thought I had been able to see

something else than my own reflection – light?

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I needed to be sure.

I gathered twenty coconuts with my ability and threw

them at equal distance against the smooth surface in

front of me. The impact was clearly distorting the

camouflaging reflection but the glass remained intact.

Fortunately it gave me the opportunity to catch a

glimpse at the interior of the cube.

Inside was a huge room, filled with statue-like

figures, on metallic chairs.

The light was dim, coming out of a fire place but I

recognized the faces of those facing me: Wolf and

Maggy. Their hands weren't tied up, but they stayed

motionless, staring into space with their white

lackluster eyes.

I needed to act quickly, I was certain Stern knew I

was here.

The walls imprisoning them looked like a force field.

I needed to break through it first.

The storm had gone, I couldn't use its energy. But

maybe I could use the energy inside the cube? It was

worth a try. I breathed in and out slowly, my

outstretched palms commanding the electricity

running through the facility to turn to the walls and

expand. The force field was weakening; I could see

my friends again but it didn't have the expected

result, the walls were still erected.

I focused once more and increased the energy on the

wall facing me, forming a ball of electricity at its

center, pleading it to destroy everything on its way.

Now!

My deep concentration was suddenly broken by the

sound of exploding glass and I saw its shattered

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particles levitating all around me. I ordered each

piece of glass to keep moving around my body and

form a protective coat. I entered.

The security system was on, water was pouring out of

the extinguishing devices on the ceiling. Emergency

lights were bathing the room in red. No one had made

a single movement.

Wolf, Maggy, Toby, Jared… they were all drenched,

still staring lifelessly in front of them.

The chip. It must be their chip.

I placed my hands in front of me once more and

forced all their chips out.

But nothing happened. I tried once more. Still

nothing. What was going on?

I approached Maggy and touched her shoulders. My

hand was moving through thin air. A hologram…?

And now Stern knows what I'm capable of… Never

mind… Keep on moving.

I started looking around. There were no stairs going

down, nor door. I closed my eyes and strained my

ears to catch any sound that might give a clue as

where my friends were being kept prisoners.

There was no noise. Except the sound of water,

falling, dripping.

That was it, I knew it. There was another

underground structure. I extended my hand and

willed the platform to rise.

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My powers cracked the whole floor, destroyed tiles

that were joining the glass debris in their unstoppable

protective dance.

But there was still no one.

Where had they been taken?

What if my being here was just part of Stern's plan?

What if she had killed all my friends before my

arrival? Horrible images started invading my head as

I had resumed running frantically through the forest,

not knowing where to go, when I realized that my

protective coat had vanished.

Suddenly, I heard a bloodcurdling moan,

almost a whisper at first, it was growing loud and

clear now.

I followed the sound, afraid of what I might discover.

The moan had stopped but I could distinguish a

shadow, in front of a tree.

My eyes had got used to my dark surroundings but

strangely I couldn't smell anything…

I didn't know who it was but I could clearly see that

this person's hands were tied around the trunk of a

palm tree. I was advancing slowly, still hiding behind

plants.

This person's head was bowed, strangely bent. It was

probably a trap but I couldn't leave this innocent

person behind.

Approaching further, I stepped on a branch, the

sound startling the prisoner. He was painfully looking

straight at me with terror in his eyes.

Toby.

I tried to use my power – or rather his – to untie him.

It didn't work.

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Odd... I thought.

I would have to do it the old way. He was trying to

talk now but his gag was preventing him from

articulating any comprehensible word. I made a sign

to silence him as I was coming even closer.

He was almost screaming now when I motioned him

to keep quiet.

I removed his gag and he started talking fast, not

making any sense. He broke down in tears.

"Toby, calm down, please." I said, untying

him.

"It's a trap…" was the last thing I understood

before an arrow pierced his heart.

"Noooo…" I yelled. I dragged him away from

his murderer, and hid us behind a bush. I took him in

my arms and rocked him like I would have with a

baby seeking comfort. It was too late, he was gone.

I closed his eyes, lay him on the ground and stood up

remorseful for leaving him here. His burying would

have to wait, I needed to find the others.

I went on walking swallowing sobs and tears. I could

not use my speed anymore.

I didn't know why but all my powers seemed to have

left me. Maybe they had been just temporary. Maybe

they had died with their first owner?

It took me less than two minutes to find

another prisoner. But this one wasn't tied up. I slowly

went closer.

Oh my God, Maggy.

She was staring at me with glassy eyes.

Stern must be controlling her… I further thought.

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I tried to make her move, calling to the wind, but it

was totally useless. She had not moved an inch. I was

whispering her name but she didn't reply. "Maggy,

please. Answer me…" I was pleading now. I was

getting very close to her now and made a movement

to touch her shoulders. I screamed with horror as I

saw her head dismember itself from her neck and her

corpse collapse on the ground.

Spurts of blood were coming out of her neck, quickly

forming a pond of blood.

I shouted her name, sobbing with panic and anger as I

realized my feet were bathing in her blood.

I started shaking and fell on my knees. I glanced at

my hands which were covered with a sticky liquid

whose color I only had to guess.

Fear gave way to rage, boiling, consuming

every cell in my body.

I gave a last scream but this time full of promise; the

promise of avenging her.

This only prospect gave me the strength to leave my

friend behind and go on.

I must have been walking around in circles for I soon

arrived back at the square I had destroyed.

Strangely it appeared untouched and erected straight.

Impossible. I destroyed the glass walls… I was

feeling lost, losing control over my emotions when

panic seized me again. Maybe it was the expected

effect of the building in front of me.

Maybe it was exactly Stern's intention to confuse me.

Focus, focus! I was in front of one of its square

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surfaces now and touched it with my right hand, no

longer able to destroy it.

I was looking once more into the interior of the

building. But this time I distinguished Jeanne with

her incredible long blonde hair. She was in the

middle of the living room, her back at me.

A fire was roaring in the fireplace and a skin rug had

been placed in front of it. Candles and chandeliers

were dimly lighting the room. I was wondering why

she had been left alone.

Suddenly she was greeted by muscular arms,

touching and discovering her body, undressing her

slowly. These two were clasped in each other's arms,

kissing passionately.

I couldn't see her lover's face so I decided to look

even more closely.

My heart was struck with terror when Kellan's blue

eyes looked back at me, kissing Jeanne even longer

and harder on the mouth, while staring at me.

Why?

I couldn't believe what I was witnessing.

He lay Jeanne – now totally naked – on the rug.

He was slowly removing his shirt, underlining his

perfect body even further, his trousers, his boxer

shorts… fixing me with his intense gaze…

I turned around and ran away – unable to watch

anymore.

How could he do this to me? How could he?

I was so confused…

I was running as fast as I could, though not as fast as

I had been before but still enough to stumble on a

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rock in front of me. I landed in the dirt, head first and

swallowed mud.

I couldn't breathe now, this dirt invading me, not

only my face but my heart and soul.

Kellan, why did you do this to me?

I had lost everyone I had ever loved. I had lost

everything.

I wanted to die, right here, right now. I let despair

take hold of me. I knew it had been there all along,

lurking in the dark. Now that it had been released like

a mad dog, it was uncontrollable and taking

advantage of every part of me.

Like this dirt I was swallowing, I was choking on

despair and guilt.

Faith. Faith wake up. Faith, what's going on? I heard

Kellan ask.

How could you do this to me? You bastard!

Faith, I don't know what you're talking about

but I heard you. You were screaming my name.

I knew you fancied her. You asshole!

Faith, please…calm down.

Why? I trusted you…

Faith, I don't know what you saw but it

wasn't real. Faith, listen to me!

I was letting out stifled cries when he caught

me off guard.

Faith, I'm here. Hang in there. I won't leave

you. I never will, do you hear me? I'll never leave

you. Faith…

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I had left Kellan on our island. He couldn't

have been with Jeanne. He said he was here.

He said he would never leave me. Did he care for me

too? Kellan? Is it really you?

Faith, listen to me, you need to focus on my

voice. What you see isn't real, none of it is. Do you

hear me? Focus on me. Breathe in, and out slowly.

"Faith…" I heard someone else scream my

name in the distance.

Kellan, they still have Wolf… He's calling me.

It's not him. Don't let your fear guide you.

Kellan, I'm scared…

Faith, I'm with you…Trust me…

Why? Why should I trust you? I asked, still

not knowing what was real and what wasn't.

Because…Because I love you, Faith…I don't

want to lose you…

What he said had the effect of a thousand

volts, sending electric shocks through my body.

My heart filled with a renewed hope and my mind

was cleared of every negative emotion I had felt.

"Somebody… Please…Help me. They're

going to kill me… Please…" Wolf's call was

growing louder.

Listen to my voice. We're still on the island

where you brought me. Nothing you see is

real…Listen to my voice! Kellan added.

Wolf's pleading voice was fading away now.

I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing

and on Kellan's voice resonating in my head. In, out,

in, out, slowly. I could do it. I could beat Stern and

still save them. They're alive, they're alive…

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I opened my eyes slowly to see Wolf had

appeared on my left. His moaning had stopped. He

had been chained up – legs and arms outstretched –

to two trees. His body was cut open, his guts coming

out of it.

I closed my eyes and thought of Kellan and

what he had said. I focused on him and my feelings

for him.

Fight this! You can do it, Faith!

I opened my eyes again. But this time Wolf

had disappeared. Instead of him, I glanced at the

destroyed premises on my right.

I briefly glimpsed at my hands too. They were

immaculate, not at all covered in blood.

I closed my eyes once more, breathed in and out, and

went on focusing on Kellan's voice, my heart, my

soul.

When I opened my eyes, it was like waking up,

seeing for the first time after a disturbing night. I

could feel Kellan next to me, he had knelt on the

sand. We were still on the island, our island I

thought.

Thank God! Faith…You're back! I…

We're not alone… I could sense it. I felt dizzy

and drained, my head was aching so much…

"Sweet dreams, beauty?" I recognized his

voice instantly.

"Look at the mess you've made! You and

Kellan form the best of teams, destroying everything

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and everyone on your passage." Stern's cold voice,

brought me back to reality.

Jared and Stern were standing a few feet away,

smirking.

"I think you know what you're talking about,

Stern…Why Naome? She hadn't done anything

wrong…" I stood up without letting my guard down.

Kellan did the same and we were both facing them

now.

"Stop the crap. We all know you killed

Naome, and beat Bochi to death. And you want to

protect her, Kellan? To me you're both murderers.

Now you deserve to pay."

"Jared, Faith is telling you the truth. Come

with us…" Kellan asked him.

"…Not to mention you always fall for the

wrong girl…You deserve what's coming for you!" he

answered, not letting him continue.

"I can't believe you're saying that…he's

always looked out for you…" I snapped.

"How would you know?" Kellan's brother

asked with disdain.

"Jared, listen to me. Don't believe a word

Stern says…Come with us…"

"You will find no friend here, Kellan. No one

believes you. Everything you both say is a lie…"

Stern replied.

I pushed Jared away with the energy of my

right hand and rooted him to the spot before he could

attack. I left Stern exactly where she was.

"It's too late Stern. Tell the truth!" I said.

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"I don't know what you're talking about…"

she answered smiling and overconfident.

"Tell us or I will hurt you…the way you've

hurt all of us…"

Stern remained mute.

Moving branches had turned silent. What about the

animals living here? Had they all gone?

It was weird and a feeling of unease was rising in me.

I quickly glanced at Kellan who gave me a discreet

nod. We both looked around, trying to see anything

unusual when we were interrupted by Stern.

"Now!"

I didn't have the time to react. I felt a huge

wave of energy, violently crush me and Kellan, and

immobilizing us both against a palm tree trunk, ten

feet high.

Out of the darkness I saw four shadows slowly

floating towards us.

I didn't hear them coming…How is it possible?

I knew there were others… Kellan replied.

They were all wearing black hoodies. They

came to a halt in front of us and removed their hoods,

the moon lighting their faces. They were so young,

they couldn't be older than us.

One of them had his hand extended, probably the one

maintaining us above the ground.

They were certainly waiting for my next blow to see

if I could be much of a resistance.

I summoned up all my strength and focused,

remembering yoga – what it was to really inhale and

exhale air and energy. I levitated them all, forcing

them to go back where they had come from.

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When I felt the power of my enemy diminish, we

were dropped on the sand like dead weight.

"Kellan, run! I'm not sure I'll be able to hold them

back much longer…" I yelled at him, fearing it was

already too late.

"No, I'm not leaving you here…" he replied.

"Kellan please, don't do this…Go to the other

side of the island, swim as far as you can and don't

look back…" I added.

"It's over, Faith…" Stern said smiling

triumphantly.

The covered strangers coming back at us

seemed unimpressed by what had happened.

I quickly glanced at Kellan. It's the only

chance we've got to see each other again…If they

catch you they'll kill you…Please…

All of a sudden, I felt my heart constrict. It was

almost like being crushed by an invisible pressure,

unable to breathe.

They were hurting Kellan. He was lying on

the sand, choking.

I levitated him out of here, sending him flying

to the other side of the island. He would be safer

there. I focused once again. I had to do it, I had to

stop them.

But there was no electricity here, no source of

power I could use. The elements. I could use the four

elements around me. I could feel the surge of energy

flowing in my veins. I just needed to channel it.

I willed the wind to form a gush so strong, it

imprisoned them in a whirlwind and kept them away.

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Soon I felt the pressure on my chest lessen

until it totally disappeared. But as I was still pushed

against the bark, I knew they were resisting, the wind

having driven them back but not far enough.

"Stop her, now! But keep her alive!" Stern's

voice ordered, among the hooded figures.

I needed to attack them, more strongly this

time.

However I was immediately stopped by a jet

of frost coming from one of them – so powerful. I

moved away from it just in time or I would have felt

the impact of the full blast.

Jared seized the opportunity and put me into

one of his visions again. We were on a deserted

island, palm trees had disappeared, giving way to

dead plants and vegetation. A pack of ravening

wolves were growling at me, as I was slowly sinking

in quicksand.

But he wouldn't take me by surprise a second

time.

I focused my mind on his, my eyes being blind to the

rest of them, and I knocked him out against a tree.

"Don't let her escape!" a man further ordered.

I whispered my will to the ocean this time.

It was moving, advancing on them, creating a huge

wave, so big it would crush them all.

Let's see if you can escape this! I thought.

My opponents were taken by surprise and

quickly engulfed by the wave I had created.

I willed it to stop at my feet, increasing the current

where my enemies had been.

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It had the appearance of a translucent tank

imprisoning them all. No one had had the time to

move.

I threw a last glance at Stern, a little farther in front

of me. It was really strange as she seemed to be

floating, encircled by a shiny blue bubble that hadn't

been there two seconds before. Even the pale moon

was reflecting on it.

But she was no longer my concern…

I started running as fast as I could to rejoin the other

side of the island.

Soldiers, all dressed in black and wearing diving

suits, were securing the perimeter, one pointing his

gun at Kellan's head.

Another one spotted me.

He made a signal and they all shot.

I stopped every single one of them and quickly willed

their weapons to reload and turn against their owner

instead. The soldiers seemed doubtful, horrified and

furious at the same time.

They all put their hands up.

I fired their weapon and stunned them all with their

own tranquilizers.

"Kellan, are you okay?" I said as I was

running to him.

"We need to get out of here and fast…" he

replied.

238

We had to flee. But was heading for another

island the solution? Was there a place in this world

where we would be safe?

He took my hand and we both ran to the

ocean, our bodies crushing against the waves.

Water was at my waist when something

stopped me from taking another step.

I was stuck, unable to move.

Every time I was trying to go forward an invisible

wall was restraining me.

"Faith, what's going on?" Kellan asked.

I was locked up in a sort of plastic bubble.

I was trying to tear it apart but nothing was efficient

enough to destroy my flexible prison. There was

oxygen, I could breathe easily, and even water, at my

waist. The only difference was that my movements

were hampered as new waves were crashing against

it. As I was kicking my protective blanket in vain, I

tried to force the bubble to grow and stretch from the

inside but it didn't break. I punched it and punched it

again, nothing was working.

Kellan, I'm sorry.

Faith, what can I do?

I'm stuck here…I'm…They will be here soon.

Kellan you need to go!

"No! Not without you!"

Oh my Gosh, Kellan, they're here.

Faith! Hang in there! Faith! He was

screaming my name.

I can't move forward. I don't know what they

want, or what they'll do to me…Kellan…

239

Listen to me Faith, I will never give up on

you, do you hear me?

I couldn't listen to him anymore.

I had started to cry uncontrollably.

I had failed.

I had failed Maggy and the others, and I would never

see Kellan again.

I would never hold him nor kiss him.

I was sinking to the depths of despair when I heard a

bursting sound, followed by a sting on my neck, a

burning solution spreading inside my entire body.

Then a second, a third and a fourth sting.

I could slowly feel the effect of the poison they had

injected me with.

My eyelids were heavy.

I got it out of my system, from every pore when I was

stung again, but this time by what it felt like a

thousand needles, when I heard someone whose

familiar voice was shouting my name from afar.

Kellan. Please, go...

Never, do you hear me? Never!

I used all the energy I had left to send him as

far away from me as I could.

I was so drained that I could no longer stand.

I collapsed.

When I felt muscular arms catching me, I blacked

out.

240

PART 4

"The child of true Humanity exists

within you."

Gospel of Mary of Magdala

4046'19.0"N 7358'29.9"W

241

CHAPTER 1 –

Ruby Anchor

Everything is foggy and obscure. Am I flying?

I feel so light…

Where am I? Am I dead? Is it what death feels like?

No one around me? No one to hold my hand when

I'm leaving this world?

Which world? I don't know…I don't… remember.

But there is no light. No light…No light…I'm so cold.

I'm alone…Why? I hate this solitude. I hate it.

Who am I?

Echoes all around me. Sounds and lights, colors –

bright and soft.

That's it. I must be in heaven.

Or hell? I'm still so cold, isn't it supposed to be

burning hot down there?

I feel trapped, something is wrong.

Two male voices were invading my ears, while I

could feel a presence bustling about near me.

"Do you think it worked?"

"It did."

"May I remind you that it didn't with the first

subjects. Show me!"

"Here! See this curve? Her scan clearly

indicates another seizure. It correlates with the exact

moment when she was injected in this case subject

J1's blood."

"Are you a hundred percent certain?"

242

"We're not sure at the moment. There is only

one way of knowing with certainty."

"You want to wake her up…"

"It's the only way…"

"It's risky… I'll ask Stern. In the meantime, I

think we need to increase the dosage, we can't risk

any containment breach…"

"There is one more thing. At every successful

transfusion, her seizures increase in intensity. She

heals, fast. But we can't risk exposing her to too

many subjects too quickly. Her body would end up

crashing. Please inform her of that risk as well."

"I'll let you know what Stern decides."

I suddenly heard a light sound followed by

heavy steps on the floor.

"Trent, increase the sedative. We also need

another transfusion set, could you get this ready,

please?"

"Yes sir, of course." a man replied.

Not knowing if it was a dream or if what I had heard

was the harsh reality of my life, I drifted off.

243

CHAPTER 2 –

Amber Horizon

I felt a burning liquid spread through my veins,

waking up all my cells at once. My eyes fluttered

open and I jumped out of bed, crouching like a

mistreated cat at the sight of its torturer.

My conscience resurfaced so rapidly that I

was feeling dizzy now. I could hear and feel my heart

racing, palpitating, like after running a marathon.

I opened my eyes entirely this time, only to be

blinded by white. The neon lights were too strong.

It felt like seeing for the first time, breathing for the

first time.

Where am I?

An intoxicating smell of bleach was floating.

My arms were both linked to tubes that were

connected to two machines, still beeping.

I quickly removed the needles and felt free to move.

I didn't feel any pain. Strange…

Drops of blood had stained the immaculate floor. I

glanced at the room around me and found bandages

to attend my wounds on a tray on my right.

I needed to stand. I made one step, then

another. The cold floor was soothing against my

burning skin. Freezing cold…

This sensation was vaguely familiar.

Around my feet frost had spread, quickly.

Its ice shape, inlaid into the floor, had covered the

blooded tiles.

What the fuck?

244

I was still wondering if I was dreaming when

I noticed blood had trickled down my arms to rest in

my hands.

A wave of mental pain and suffering, uncontrolled,

was floating in my veins, like plastic bags at the

surface of the ocean.

I could feel this enormous wave building in my guts,

washing over my senses, spreading in my whole

body. I started shaking.

Images were overcoming my mind;

a blond-haired boy choking for air, covered in blood,

a group of boys, raping me savagely,

a crazy old man, naked, trying to stop the bleeding

streaming from his neck,

the face of an Indian girl covered with blood, dead,

a black man I was beating to death; strangling him

with all my strength…

M y head was summoning up more and more images.

Memories? I wondered.

Memories of rape, violence, blood, hatred and death.

Look what they have done…Finish the job,

hurt her... him... them...yourself. Kill them all...It's the

only choice you've got... a voice was chanting in my

ears.

I saw all their faces, crying, heard them beg

for mercy.

Don't listen to her...him...them...they deserve

it...the voice continued.

My head started spinning, and with it, names.

Ry? Jeanne? Jared? Bree? Maggy? All these names

were building up in my mind.

Who am I?

245

I couldn't think straight any more. Who am I? And

who are those people to me?

I was lost, angry, disgusted and alone, alone in

oblivion. I felt trapped like a mouse, ready to be

eaten by the house cat it had known all his life, the

one that had been lurking in the dark.

Savage anger was rising. Anger and hate at

the injustice of so much pain and the randomness

with which it had struck. The buzzing in my clouded

head was so loud that I was shaking like a leaf. I had

the impression that my skull was split in two. My

hands had gone rigid, like the dead bodies of so many

I had seen. My heart was hammering, fueled by

somber fear.

These images seemed so real… But were they?

I was crushed and defeated by so much violence and

horror. I collapsed on my knees, the pull was too

strong. I took my ears in my hands and screamed of

terror, terror at what I had seen, terror at what I had

done.

It left a burden too heavy for my shoulders to carry.

246

CHAPTER 3 –

Citrine Flashes

When I decided to open my eyes again, I saw the

walls around me had evaporated, their rubble dancing

in a powerful tornado of dust and water, coming from

the ceiling. And in front of me, a dark hall.

Furthermore I felt drained and nauseous. My mouth

was dry and my lips crackled, my movements

hampered and slow to obey my fuzzy mind.

But I was more than determined to get out of my cell.

So I stood up.

In this new environment, the artificial bright

light had been replaced by a dimmed red atmosphere

whose flickering lights were accompanied in their

dance by extinguishing devices.

No sign of a living soul except for mine.

Trying to regain my composure, I started exploring

this floor.

A series of dark rooms were flanked on both

sides here, their door totally destroyed.

I checked all of them, but everywhere I entered I saw

the same cataclysmic landscape: metallic cupboards

spread all over the floor, broken glass – probably

from flasks whose tag had become unreadable –

mattresses, tubes and surgery tools, even broken

laptops.

"Is anyone here?" I said, exiting the last

room, as a last attempt to convince myself I wasn't

dreaming.

247

I had needed to check all the rooms on this

floor, I didn't know why. I had just needed to do it.

Then I remembered. I remembered her name. Tara.

She had grown suspicious, had been curious.

They had tried to silence her. But who were "they"?

And where was she now?

Scott, Toby, Wolf… Other names, resonating

through my mind, had resurfaced from I didn't know

where.

I knew I wouldn't have the answers I was looking for,

so in sheer frustration I hit the wall, hard and started

crying, I didn't know why. I could no longer suppress

my tears from streaming down.

I was stopped short, enveloped by a warm

feeling when I saw two bright butterflies had

materialized in front of me. They were both the

colors of the rainbow, and were now flying past me.

I could not keep my eyes off them. They were so

beautiful, their dance illuminating the entire hall to

go disappearing behind the only standing wall now

opposite me.

Impossible I thought, looking at the spot where they

had disappeared. I couldn't see their light any more,

but I knew where I had to go and went back, deeper

into darkness.

Flashes and furtive images still appeared in

my head. There is another structure next to this

building. I knew it.

But how? I quickly walked and stood in front of the

brick wall. My mind took over, I needed to follow the

butterflies. But how?

248

I put my hands on it and pushed with all my strength,

suddenly invaded by hope, the hope of understanding

what was going on.

A huge blast of power had appeared in my hands and

destroyed it all, bricks were now flying away creating

a stack behind me.

I looked at my hands, dumbfounded.

How in the world did I learn to do that?

I felt surprised by the result but my spirits were soon

dampened by the sight that had opened up in front of

me.

A shiny rough surface had replaced the brick wall. Its

texture felt somehow alien at my touch.

But I had sent a blast of energy before, I could do it

again. I tried to remember what I had done and soon

enough my two hands were directed at the strange

structure.

But it didn't even crack.

What is this thing? I wondered.

Wurtzite boron nitride. Lab zone, entirely sealed and

protected, my mind let out as to remind me of

something else.

If I knew the name of this material, I certainly knew

how to destroy it too. This knowledge was there, in

my mind, I was certain of it. How to access it was

another issue.

My heart was racing again and I could feel the same

anger rising, anger at my own powerlessness, anger

at my memory loss, anger at myself, hate at the

people who did this, dark hatred.

249

I shouted in frustration, my hands started shaking

uncontrollably again and a huge blast of energy – a

mix of ice and electricity – was created in my palms.

I pushed it out and willed it to destroy the wurtzite.

All the walls supporting this wing started shaking

even more, the upper floor had collapsed on the now

visible cube but there was still no visible crack in the

black structure in front of me.

Anxiety was spreading in my veins like the black

venom of a dangerous snake.

I can do this, I can. I sat down on the floor.

I breathed in and out, trying to focus on peace and

positive feelings, searching in my memory for any

element that could help me open the cube.

I saw blinding white lights, tools, bandages, hospitals

but somehow I knew these images were not memory

fragments from this building.

I exhaled and let the images flow. I focused on the

name I had found earlier, wurtzite, and I repeated it

several times, creating my own chant this time.

The blur in front of my eyes became clearer.

"Wait. Are you sure this wing is protected? We

wouldn't want our patients to go in there or our

testing subjects to go out." a neurosurgeon who had

been trained by Bochi and named Trent asked.

"Trust me. Nothing can destroy it. We made

the necessary arrangements. You will also have your

own combination. It is very simple. After showing

your print and eye scan on the wall panel, the

wurtzite surface will appear. All you need to do press

your chosen squares on the surface.

250

It is eight-fold so please choose a combination you

can easily remember, we don't want to load new ones

every week." a young man named Scott – wearing a

dark uniform with SC on it – answered.

"Okay, let's get this over with." The doctor

replied inserting his chosen code.

The memory fragment dissipated like vapor but I had

found what I needed.

I stood in front of the wurtzite surface and pressed on

the squares I had memorized.

A door had become translucent and I entered.

251

CHAPTER 4 –

Emerald Vault

Everything was dark in here – typical – only a room,

at the end of the formerly hidden hall, whose door

frame was submerged by light, resembled that of a

lighthouse through a stormy night.

I hurried down the hall and remembered to

press the rectangular shape on the right panel before

entering.

What I saw next startled me most.

The body – inert – of a man stripped to the waist with

a white pair of trousers lay still on a metallic table,

the whole room lit by the same rainbow butterflies.

Two machines were linked to each other by several

tiny pipes, further inserted in his arms, back, and

neck. "What…?" I said out loud.

I pressed my ear on his heart to confirm what

I already knew, his breathing was shallow.

Who was this man? My mind was still fuzzy

and even though his outlines looked familiar, I

couldn't recall who he was.

Let's get rid of all these tubes first and keep your

questions for later. I thought in a hurry, on my way to

open the cupboard full of bandages.

I removed the needles, one by one, and let

their murky liquid spread on the floor.

It was dark and dense like the oil poisoning oceans

after a shipwreck.

He seemed to be breathing more easily now despite

his eyes, still closed.

252

I was firmly wrapping bandages around his wounds,

when I was broken off by the echo of steps,

resonating through darkness.

"Faith…" said a stranger, leading a whole

group.

"I don't know who you are…Stay away from

me! Stay away!"

In front of me, eyes were scrutinizing me with

terror.

Their panic ignited something deep within me. Their

gaze rapidly faded away to be replaced by

silhouettes; faces I thought I knew but which, at the

same time, felt unfamiliar.

Someone suddenly grabbed my hands.

"Faith...Everything is okay, Faith. It's me, Maggy."

said a strange girl in front of me.

She was looking at me intensely, with her innocent

blue eyes.

I saw my face reflect in them when the image

started changing, taking the shape of another person,

and another and another.

Every time I recognized a new face in her eyes, my

guts were churning with the same crying shame and

absolute hatred for myself.

You're disgusting. Look what you have done.

You don't deserve to live. Kill yourself. Do it! Now! A

devilish chant was encouraging me to end my

suffering and theirs.

"Faith, let us help you...Please..." a man said

desperately.

253

My ears were buzzing, my vision blurry and

my head once more split in two with a severe

migraine headache.

"Don't get closer...!" My voice felt alien as the words

were coming out of my mouth. I tried to get away

from them but couldn't find balance and quickly fell

on the freezing cold tiled floor that seemed to give

way under my feet. I stayed where I was, curled up

with my eyes closed, my arms encircling my knees.

"Faith, you found him..." another guy said.

"Don't touch her Jared!"

"I'm not planning to! Faith, we need to go, I

don't know how much time we have left."

Faith? I've heard the name before...

You're not worth a dime. You deserve to die!

"Enough" I shouted, my hands protecting my

ears to counteract the evil voices, tears were

brimming over and falling on my cheeks.

"What's going on?" another girl asked.

"I don't know. I think she's losing it!" another

voice added.

I could feel their gaze staring at me – full of

dread. My hands had started trembling even more

than before. The bulbs preserving the emergency

lights on the floor exploded one by one, and all this

energy gathered in my hands, that were now

generating sparks of electricity.

"Faith, what's going on?" Maggy shouted –

frantic with worry.

"Tara, something is off!" a man said.

254

Black shadows – like the ones protecting

Notre Dame in Paris – were surrounding all of us – at

each corner of the hall – with bloodshot eyes

mirroring hatred and darkness. As they were

advancing towards us, I could see their wings: huge

and ending with silver claws. They were forming a

black cloud, I was no longer able to see anyone.

"Wolf, we need to get everyone out!" added

another man.

When my palms touched the ground, a huge

tree appeared from the underground, growing fast, all

the way up to the ceiling and up again, leaving

broken bricks and metal below it, destroying

everything on its way. It was separating the shadows

from us.

Destroy…everything…Kill…everyone…Now

What seemed to be a distant voice at the back of

my head became louder and louder, forming a regular

chant.

"Faith, what can we do?" asked the guy

named Wolf, but not loud enough to cover the chant.

"I….I can't control it. RUN!" I shouted my

hands still on my ears, my eyes still wide open.

Kill them all… Destruction is all you

know…You're frightening them….You belong with us.

The strangers in front of me seemed to have

regained their composure, two of them took by the

shoulders the man I had found. The butterflies around

him some seconds before had now vanished.

There is no light, another voice was

resonating in my head.

255

"I…Please, go away….I don't know how long

I can hang on…." I shouted at the remaining outlines

in front of me. Everything I touched was turning to

ice now, the floor, the walls.

Please let them all be safe, let them all be safe. I

thought.

A gale-force wind pushed everyone away from me,

away from the dark gargoyles through the passage the

tree had left open.

Stop them! They will kill you if you don't!

"Noooooo…" I was holding my head again,

trying to get rid of this chant, still more insisting.

Kill yourself….You're not worth a dime! Kill

yourself, destroy everything!

The ground started shaking. I could hear

water surging on every floor, the earth was split in

two, letting streams of mud engulf the whole

building.

Faith... a male voice said in my head.

But I was alone, dust covering my face.

I could feel the floor give way beneath me. I didn't

move. I didn't want to survive this. I sure didn't

deserve it.

Fight this, you can do it, Faith. he said again.

Kill yourself. You're too dangerous…you

belong with us. The voices were even louder than

before.

They… are controlling me…The voices are

controlling my mind. I can't…I answered the stranger

in my head.

I've seen your courage and your heart. You're

stronger than this…he replied.

256

All this darkness, I'm possessed, I'm being

possessed. "Stop it! Enough!"

I was repeating loudly trying to cover the chant with

my voice this time.

But maybe the chant was coming from me, maybe I

was the evil voice.

Maybe I was as dark as the creatures smiling at me

now.

I love you...his voice had revived a vivid

memory.

I let his words fuel me entirely. I felt power

coming from my heart increase, swelling and

growing so fierce. I wasn't scared anymore. I felt the

courage to stand up.

I suddenly knew what I had to do.

NOOOOO! I could hear the destructive

voices' last attempt to keep control.

I drew a protective circle all around me. Its

light was now electric blue.

Let everything else outside.

Protect me from invaders. Protect me from myself, I

thought.

When I found peace again, I felt myself become

lighter.

Breathe in the light, breathe out the light.

Focus. I heard.

The gargoyles had evaporated, everyone had

gone. Were they okay?

Oh my Gosh, what have I done? I was

suddenly aware of my racing pulse.

257

Desolation invaded my heart when I caught a

glimpse at the frozen floor, giving way under my

feet, the overall building shaky, on the verge of total

collapse.

My bubble was protecting me from all the bricks and

debris from the fallen walls but I needed to find a

way out, quickly.

I was looking around me now.

The tree trunk had remained intact despite the

violence of my force.

I decided to follow the path it had created, to the

expansion of its roots, my protective bubble

cushioning my ascension all the way up, guided by

the light emanating from my body.

It felt like rebirth.

258

CHAPTER 5 –

Aquamarine Sky

My eyes didn't have to adjust to the natural light – or

better the absence of it – around me, and I realized

for the first time that I was wearing a white hospital

gown.

The full moon with her orange shades was

reflecting on huge tree leaves surrounding me and I

was completely alone, in the middle of dancing

shadows. I left the hole from which I had emerged

and the ground started shaking violently, engulfing

the whole underground structure with a whirlwind of

dirt and dust. It gave way to a huge crater where only

one tree remained standing – the tree whose roots

were going far underground, the tree that had shown

me the way out. When I realized I was levitating

above the crater, I looked down to see earth and mud

materialize, filling the hole that had been created by

my escape. Grass was growing fast and spread to the

surface, bushes and small trees had also emerged.

It was like nothing had happened.

Thank you whispered a firefly at my ear

before disappearing into the night sky.

Or was it my imagination?

I slowly regained a stable piece of ground in front of

me, burying my fear deep within.

Where is everyone? Where am I?

259

I ventured forward, walking on the grass

barefoot, not at all disturbed by the winter wind and

found myself stopped by an energy field whose

contours were preventing me from stepping forward.

I felt like a beast, trapped once more. I hadn't left one

prison to be locked into another.

Enough I screamed in my head. All my suppressed

anger started mounting. The wind around me was

rising fast, reaching gale force, electricity sparks

started forming in the palms of my hands and quickly

spread all over my skin. I applied both hands on the

energy field and shouted – this time out loud – with

the full intensity of my rage.

Flashes of lightning – emanating from my whole

body – tore the energy field apart which dissipated in

a matter of seconds.

260

CHAPTER 6 –

Turquoise Vision

In the distance a whole city lay dormant.

Before her, fifty soldiers – dark shadows still

zooming over them all – were aiming at Wolf, Maggy

and the others from the group I had seen in the

premises. Four soldiers were standing next to the man

I had saved from the wurtzite, restraining him.

"Faith…" the stranger was calling. He was

looking at me.

Somehow and in spite of my hazy memory,

his deep blue eyes moved me. And suddenly I saw

vivid images of him. He was holding me in his arms,

teaching me how to defend myself, protecting me,

kissing me, making love to me.

Kellan…?

I was now looking at them all and heard their

names. Stern, Bochi, Jared, Ry, Tara, Scott and his

twin sister Brittany, Toby, Maggy, Jeanne and Wolf.

Somehow, as I now remembered all their

names, I also saw the events that had led them to be

here.

I saw Tara, aged eight, in front of her

mother's tomb on her aboriginal land. She had never

known her father who had killed himself before her

birth. I saw how Scott recruited her for Stern's NY

office several years ago.

I saw the operation Trent, one of Bochi's trainees,

was performing on her and how it had enabled her to

control the element of air around her.

261

I saw her trying to choke me and Kellan on the island

we tried to escape from.

I saw Bree and Scott, the twins whose blood

had served for the creation of serums. I saw them on

an Indian reserve, hungry and alone. I saw them

fighting for survival in a country where their culture

wasn't recognized, Brittany brutalized and lost. I saw

Trent's experiment on them after being recruited by

Stern. I saw Scott create strong energy fields,

sometimes in the shape of a bubble, I saw one of his

bubbles restrain me from moving, back on the island.

I saw his sister and her ability to create, give life to

nature, trees, flowers, plant or to destroy.

I saw Ry, raised as a soldier and forced to kill

his friends to prove his ability. I felt he had never

recovered from it, crushed by guilt. I saw him

recruited in Nigeria, after one of Jeanne, Wolf and

Jared's missions.

I saw his ability to create water, in all its forms and

how he was following Stern's orders on the island

where he materialized the frost jet that had almost

touched me.

I saw Jeanne's childhood in Paris, with her

adopted sister from India, Agnès. I saw them both

raised by their nanny, Roberta. I saw how her sister's

death had affected Jeanne, forcing her to leave her

home. I saw how she had always failed to commit to

any kind of relationship in fear of losing another

person whom she cared for.

I saw Jared and all his struggle, devastated by

grief after the loss of his parents and Naome.

262

I saw his guilt when Stern told him his brother had

died on the island with me.

And I saw Stern, her family's suffering, how

her people had been tortured during the Second

World War. I saw the desolation that had conquered

her and so many.

I understood how they had all tried to free

themselves from their past, to forget, to find solace

through revenge or anger.

I saw they were all carrying, in their genes,

the load of the past – stories of rape, violence, hatred,

racism, oppression that had been inflicted to them or

their ancestors, feeling as lost as I had been.

And I was certain that, because I had

changed, they could also change the course of their

lives, and that we were all given the opportunity to

free ourselves from the past.

I now looked at Bochi and Stern, encircled by

remaining soldiers. She was holding a small metallic

box in her hand.

When Stern started advancing towards me,

Kellan shouted "You bastards, don't touch her!"

"Kellan, you're such a disappointment, like

all of you I may add." she replied.

I could see sadness taking shape on the faces

of some, anger on others.

"Release them all, you have no right!" I

demanded, outraged.

"Yes, I can feel your anger, good." she was

addressing me now. "Faith, join me and bend in front

of me. Serve allegiance to our order."

263

"No!" I shouted. I saw terror struck the faces

of captives and soldiers alike.

All started backing away as a stormy wind

was rising, enveloping us all.

"Resistance won't save you." Stern resumed.

"You will destroy the old world to give way to a new

order, my order. You will obey!"

When she pressed the metallic box, I

suddenly felt restraints, my consciousness was totally

frozen.

Scott, Maggy, Toby, Jeanne…they all started

fighting each other, screaming at each other. Some of

them collapsed on the grass, some others were

writhing in pain.

I looked at Kellan, he had remained standing

but he seemed enraged, his beautiful, innocent eyes

had rapidly turned dark. He was pointing a gun at me,

trembling.

"What… have you… done…to him?" I asked

Stern and Bochi, gathering all the strength I had left.

"You're the Nemesis, Faith. Your blood is the

answer to depravity, to the calamity they all are –

humans – and we made sure you had all the powers

to destroy them all by injecting you with every

supra's blood, mine included…Obey or they will all

kill each other…"

Time seemed suspended.

"Maybe she needs another incentive…

Bochi?"

When he went to Kellan and whispered at his

ear, I saw Kellan pointing the gun at himself.

264

Wolf, Tara, Maggy…they were all on the

ground now, moaning in pain.

I shouted, it was the only thing I could do.

Scalding tears were rolling down my cheeks as I

witnessed Kellan, ready to trigger the gun he was

holding against his temple.

Despair was crushing me. I was totally useless.

What is happening to me? I started enquiring,

dizzy. The pain of the restraints Bochi and Stern had

afflicted was unbearable, their victory laughter was

resonating through my mind.

I instinctively put the palms of my hand at the

back of my head that was sore.

The chip, it must be the chip… I suddenly

understood. With all the strength I had left, I willed

the chip that had been inserted deep in my skull to

leave my body.

"No…" I could hear Bochi.

I was now holding it in my hands, but felt the

dark liquid it had been containing, still running

through my veins.

"It is too late!" Stern replied. And I saw that

Kellan and my friends were all suffocating.

Reacting to this horrifying view by moving of

its own accord, I felt my body rise in the moonlit sky.

My arms spread, my feet touching each other, my

shadow two feet above ground.

"No, I need her alive!" I heard Stern

command her soldiers.

When my hands opened up, facing the full

moon, I could feel unbearable pain transpiercing

them, I felt everyone's suffering, their loud moaning,

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imploring me to end it. My heart was bleeding with

them and boiling with the determination to end it all.

Remember who you are, who we all are… I

heard a voice say, resonating from deep within. It had

revived another memory.

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CHAPTER 7 –

Amethyst Eight

Suddenly a blast of powerful light coming from my

center ignited. This Light was growing into a burning

fire in my heart, so strong and so pure, it was now

purifying my whole body, blazing in my hands. This

fire was cleansing me entirely, leaving me to enter

each core. It had taken the shape of a rainbow and

was illuminating the darkness that had emerged.

I now felt and saw the dark liquid leaving

everyone else's body, gathering in front of me,

forming a levitating black pool, together with the

soldiers'guns and the liquid empty metallic shells.

The palms of my hands burnt it all with windy force,

only leaving incandescent dust.

When my feet resumed touching the ground,

the sun was slowly rising on the horizon.

A bright triangle had taken shape in front of

me, then a second one, its peak down. At its center I

could see a white flower resting on a rainbow sea.

Tears of joy resumed rolling down my cheeks

as I understood, walking to my friends, and with all

my being, these words, the true meaning of

incarnation, to remember, open our eyes and heart to

who we are in essence – Love and Light – to find our

way back home, to the Light.

Stern was looking at me aghast and Bochi was

soon at her side.

As I was walking to meet them both, their

army started running away.

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When I was facing them, I explained "Your

vision of the world is deformed, you only see with

hate and fear. All the powers you thought you had or

you thought you had given others are meaningless

because the true force, your true perfect being, what

you've been searching for all your life, resides in

your heart. It is done. The answer to our

unconsciousness, our darkness has already been

given. The Light has already won. We just need to

realize it now… Stern is not your real name.

Please let me show you…" I offered.

She was further looking at me, not knowing

what to expect but let me approach her nevertheless.

I put my forehead against hers, my right hand

on her center, a halo of rainbow Light enveloping us

both as my mind was showing hers where her family

and ancestors were, having forgiven themselves and

others.

"You are pure Spirit of Light and Love for eternity,

incarnated as Jilla, for Joy, Inspiration, Light, Love

and Altruism. Your name means "The Lord is

Gracious." I told her, now removing my hand.

- Savta… Soon, Jilla started sobbing in

Bochi's arms and I left them both kneeling on the

grass.

Kellan was facing me now. I looked into his eyes.

They were so pure and vast like an ocean of peace.

I felt his Love vibrate with mine.

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I needed to touch him, to know it hadn't been just a

dream, I needed to feel him close to me.

He took me in his arms, his strong Light

protecting me from the rest of the world, his body

irradiating his warmth.

I was home and felt whole and safe again, I

had found him and he had found me.

He touched my face and took it in his hands.

His intense stare ignited the same fire, so strong and

so pure. It was fueled by the rhythm of our hearts,

consuming me entirely.

He kissed me like it was our first time – a

timeless zone where we surrendered to each other,

leaving, for a moment – blinded by our blazing fire –

this world behind.

I Love you… my soul shouted to his.

I Love you forever… he answered, his

forehead against mine. And he kissed me one last

time.

I was now smiling at him.

Kellan took my hand in his and we turned

around facing the sun.

It was bathing us all in its Light.

Maggy, Kellan and Jared, Tara, Wolf, Toby,

Ry, Jeanne, Scott and Bree, Jilla and Bochi… we

were all forming a beautiful symbol, resembling the

contour of a lotus whose petals were all opening at

the same time, our beautiful Rainbow Energy

growing and spreading, in front of this new World

opening to us all, this Eden, here and now.

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As Above, so Below. I heard my deep voice

cry out.

And I smiled again.

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"And if awakening was simply waking up to what we

are in essence? And if this journey to awakening was

opening ourselves to the destruction of everything we

thought we knew, everything we heard or learned to

be true, emptying ourselves of all these delusions?

And let vacuity fill the vacuity, and be, as it is in our

heart, the incarnation of LIGHT, LOVE?

Do not follow orders, traditions, texts blindly…

Do not look outside of yourself for what you already

have inside. Listen to your deep voice and wake up,

remember who you are, let this Love and Light run

through your veins, knowing that every word, act,

thought of Love for you, each other, our Planet,

elevates us all because we all share the same logos

written in our DNA."

Amy Lee Belle.

amyleebelle./