1
From Darkness to
Light
By Amy Lee Belle
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TO LIFE IN ALL ITS FORMS…
Copyright 2018 by Amy Lee Belle
Cover by Délilah Martin: /
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"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our
deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us
(…) And as we let our own light shine, we
unconsciously give other people permission to do the
same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our
presence automatically liberates others."
Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections
on the Principles of "a Course in Miracles"
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PART 1
"In the beginning was the logos."
Gospel of John
2957'05.0"N 9004'18.9"W
5
–
CHAPTER 1 –
Pitch Dark
Of all the places I had been to, New Orleans was
certainly the closest, the most similar to my human
nature. Shy, full of light and darkness, still standing,
even after hurricanes and storms had ripped her heart
out, not allowing herself to show how difficult it had
been to recover from the worst of nightmares.
My first months on the New Continent had
been colored by interesting meetings and unusual
places. I didn't exactly know why I had chosen the
south after visiting New York, but one thing was
certain, I wasn't disappointed. After several days in
Alabama and having discovered the birthplace of
equality, I was now discovering Louisiana.
And a benefit from sightseeing was that at least I
could pretend I was a normal tourist, whose parents
were waiting for her at their hotel if anyone asked, I
thought as I was eating corn bread at the Oak Alley
plantation house restaurant.
This huge mansion, its imposing Victorian
architecture and the vast grounds surrounding it
didn't fail to let out whispers of what slavery life had
been, living in the minuscule stalls, serving cruel
masters who would let them die without any remorse
nor regret.
6
Truth was that I had always felt out of place,
like the families who had been brought here to work
the land.
Certainly after the accident, my friends'
attitude had shifted and I hadn't even wanted to
belong anymore. But it wasn't like they had even
tried. I knew I could be introvert, but I had had to
become strong after everything that had happened. I
thought they had misunderstood my reaction for
pride. Death, distress... all made people extremely
uncomfortable. I guessed they had done what they
could do best: they had pretended it hadn't been
there, I hadn't been there... But my life in Europe had
been nothing compared to the absolute nightmare
slaves had had to wake up from.
How can we treat each other like this?
Europe had had its history of hatred too, I just
couldn't grasp what the motives had been to justify
such abject violence and horror. Maybe it was human
nature? Maybe it was the animality inside of us that
drove us to extremes? But honestly, even animals
didn't seem so wildly cruel towards each other, even
they had a sense of protection towards their kind. Or
maybe that was it: we didn't recognize different
people as our own.
I had always found injustice repulsive and
worth fighting against and here was another proof of
our world greatest gangrene I concluded, leaving the
immense plantation ground to go back to my rented
flashy red car and trying to convince myself to stop
torturing my mind, switching off the unstoppable
emotions irradiating from me.
7
I was wandering in Bourbon Street after a week of
sightseeing, further discovering the old south, its
ancient taste for tobacco, cotton, hundred-year-old
oak tree paths, sugar canes and ... music.
The light of dusk was illuminating the strange
architecture of Victorian houses, fortune tellers were
already trying to make up for the slow start of the
high season, invading Jackson square with their dark
tarot cards or crystal balls on lace tablecloth, calling
to us – strangers – for redemption.
Myths and legends were like viruses here,
they would evolve, reach every layer of the
population and then move on to another secluded
location.
The humid warmth was almost too much for
my European tan but I was convincing myself that
my journey here would represent everything I had
ever wanted; a fresh start to this new, lonely chapter
of my life – a present to celebrate graduation that had
become the easy way out.
Jazz slowly started filling the intoxicating air
of the French quarter, appealing to visitors and
natives alike. I was no exception. I had never been a
big fan of jazz music… before.
Its sadness, deep cry moved every part of who I was
now, plunging me back into the devastating months
prior to my arrival. My heart was still bleeding and it
required every power I had left to block the painful
images I had kept and taken with me.
8
However, the reflection I saw in the shop
window opposite the square had surprised me:
elongated, long brown haired, brown eyed, with a red
sleeveless shirt, a pair of jeans and plastic flip flops.
It was showing a regular seventeen-year-old teenager
who had outgrown her clothing style. The perfect
nobody who could fade away in this scenery.
I was slowly regaining some complexion and
the weight I had lost these past months though –
certainly due to my extreme taste for Louisiana
jambalaya. The image reflected by the glass was
almost familiar again even if the road to being me
was still long and full of ambush. But did I really
want to be myself again?
A jet-black haired boy took me out of my
reverie by grasping my hand and pulling me, leading
me I didn't know where. He had to be six, was
wearing ripped muddy shorts and a shirt whose color
was uncertain because of the dust.
"Come, come" he was repeating, pulling me
even more strongly.
"Wait! Where are you taking me?" I was
laughing and surprised by his strength but didn't
change my mind as to stay where I was. "Where is
your mother?" I asked, looking around, concerned for
his safety.
But when he saw that I wouldn't move, he
took my camera and made a run for it.
I couldn't lose that camera – my posthumous
Christmas present, and after all that had happened, it
was the only link I had with my past – aside from my
memories.
9
I started running after him.
The boy was still in Decatur when I saw him turn
left. I followed him around the corner and saw him
stop in front of a lady.
She was standing on the steps of the half-open
green door of another Victorian house, five feet away
from me, crossing her arms.
She was tall with long braided hair, as black
as the boy's, and had big dark eyes. She was wearing
a white dress with red spots and a black apron – very
trendy in the sixties. She almost looked like coming
from another era, where women were behind the
stove while their husbands were working.
When he faced her, looking at her intently,
she took the camera from his hands and examined it
curiously.
She then saw me round the corner – bent over
to catch my breath – she looked back at him with a
puzzled face. They started talking and the boy went
inside the house.
"I'm so sorry…" the lady said approaching
me with the camera still in her left hand. "My
nephew told me he had seen you alone in Burbon
street, he was worried about you..."
"I… I just want the camera back." I replied,
not knowing what she had meant.
"Sure, sure, here it is, sugar" she continued
handing me the precious object. "But please, let me
offer you something to drink, come with me" she
offered.
"Don't worry, I won't press charges, I...
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I don't want to bother you…" I insisted.
"It's no bother, I'll be delighted to have some
company…"
No one was waiting for me, I remembered,
and against all odds, I accepted her offer and
followed her inside what I presumed was her house.
Everything was tastefully furnished, the wooden
floors gave their counterparts an almost Venetian
style in the hall, with drapes and beautifully covered
sofas in the living room. The little boy had found his
place on one of them when we entered.
"Anton, please meet..." she started.
"Madeleine. My name is Madeleine." I
finished her sentence.
Anton immediately came to stand up in front
of me, and hugged me, without uttering a single
word.
"I…" But he was already leaving the room
without leaving me the time to say anything else.
"Please sit down…" my hostess offered,
showing me a seat on the light blue sofa on my left.
"Thank you…" I answered politely.
"My name is Lynn. Welcome to my home.
But let me fetch some refreshments first."
"Please, don't bother. I'm fine. Really." I said
to the empty room, Lynn already in the kitchen.
I suddenly didn't remember why I had agreed to
come here, it felt awkward sitting in a stranger's
living room, even a friendly one.
She sat down in front of me and poured a
lemonade in a yellow glass. "So what brings you
here?" she started, almost mysteriously now.
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"I'm taking some time off…" I answered, not
willing to reveal too much of my life.
"I come from one of the oldest families in
New Orleans. It's not every day that we see a young
girl traveling alone."
"I…" I was looking at my feet now, not
knowing what to answer. I let her go on, she had her
eyes closed this time.
"I can tell that you are strong and
independent. You are smart, resourceful and reliable
but you don't expect life to treat you fairly and you
are always ready for the worst. There is a lot of
sadness in you too…" she went on "I see you've had
your share of suffering since your birth."
How does she know all this?
After five seconds, she added "I see snow. A
lot of snow."
My blood was just made run cold because I
knew what she was going to say next. I was feeling
threatened and terribly ill-at-ease.
"You lost them. It was winter. It is still
haunting you. You don't know how to live without
them. But know this, they're resting in the Light and
they're very proud of you no matter what you
decide."
"No matter what I decide? I don't
understand."
She went on as if she hadn't heard me. "You
will soon have to make a choice. That choice will
influence you and all of us."
What was she talking about? It didn't make
any sense…I wished I hadn't accepted her offer…
12
Lynn then opened her eyes and said "I'm
sorry I can't tell you more."
"Thanks?" I said hesitantly. I stood up and
added, still embarrassed "But it's getting late, and I
need to go. I'm sorry".
I turned around and was ready to leave the
living room when she added "Trust your heart, the
Light is within you and all of us." And with this, I
hurried down the street, finding my way back into the
French Quarter.
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–
CHAPTER 2 –
Heavy Shading
The café round the corner known as Tonique had
become my favorite chilling area.
But unlike other evenings, the atmosphere
was charged with an almost palpable electricity, so
strong it was almost crushing my lungs. Or was it the
heat or the strange encounter I had had?
I entered.
I had grown fond of red after spending three
days here, or for better words, nights.
The only reminder of the Quarter's life had been the
Mardi Gras beads hanging everywhere, on walls, bars
even banisters.
The two-levelled café was inviting. The smell
of sweat, alcohol and smoke from the previous night
of festivities had never truly left the premises, leaving
a yellowish trace on the white entrance doors.
The light around me was dim and called for
introspection – in total contrast with a group of
freshmen who were celebrating at the bar, talking
animatedly about their future prospects and ambitions
around "hurricanes" – a sweet New Orleans
trademark.
I envied them.
Not their muscular, sculptural footballer bodies or the
voluptuous silhouette of their girlfriends, no.
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I couldn't care less about that.
This happy-go-lucky attitude; that was what was
missing in my life.
As I was heading for my usual spot in a
corner, I noticed a dark figure on my right.
I saw this man or rather I felt him watching me, his
brown eyes reading straight into me, into my soul. I
had never felt so exposed before.
As I was sitting down I could still feel his
eyes lingering on me.
I glanced back.
Looking more closely, his features were too
perfect, with his big brown eyes, his broad shoulders
and short hair.
Was it an army tag he was wearing? That
would explain a lot.
I was telling myself to stop staring.
Didn't these Americans know how to shop for
proper sizes or were these too short shirts the only
way they had to expose themselves?
Men….
Typical…
"What will it be for you tonight?" I was
startled by the waitress's voice.
"A strawberry shake, please." I asked her.
She smiled recognizing me. "Right away."
I opened my Routard travel guide to prepare
the next days' visits. Blaine Kern's Mardi Gras
World should be fun.
"There you go. Call me if you need anything
else." she said interrupting my reading.
"Thank you." I answered.
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"Can I buy you a drink?" asked the dark
stranger who had appeared in front of me.
How did he get so close so fast? He's even
more handsome close to… "No thanks, I'm all set." I
answered showing him my drink.
"I meant a proper drink…" He smiled. "Do
you mind if I sit down?" He was already facing me as
he hadn't waited for my answer. "My name is Jared."
I could feel my heartbeat accelerating as
adrenalin was rushing through my veins. I didn't
know if it was lust or a sense of danger. I considered
not answering but I couldn't let him see how I felt. I
didn't want to give him my real name. As I was
recalling what my parents used to call me, I opted for
this one: "Faith."
"Faith? You're not from here, are you? I don't
recognize your accent."
"Well, you could say that. You're very
perceptive." I added with sarcasm, when the waitress
brought two hurricanes, winking at me. Why not? I
thought and took a sip of my free drink.
"How come a European beauty like you
speaks English like that? First time in New Orleans?"
he inquired.
How does he know I am European? All these
questions were only confirming the uneasiness I had
sensed five minutes before. I wasn't used to all this
attention. "Yes…" was all I gave away.
"Do you like it so far?"
"I love it here…" As he seemed to be waiting
for more, I went on, speaking to hide my discomfort,
16
"it's totally different from the other States I have
visited."
"Where else have you been?"
"I was in New York a couple of weeks ago
but I wanted some taste of the south as well. I visited
Alabama first. That was incredible. So many things
to see…"
"Well, there are plenty of things to do here as
well. Let me take you to this great bar, you'll see…"
"I…" Suddenly my head started spinning. My
body felt numb, my legs unable to move. I was
starting to feel heavy, the music around us slowly
fading away.
"Sweet dreams, beauty. We've been waiting
for you" said the brown-eyed stranger.
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PART 2
"Every nature, every modeled form,
every creature, exists in and with each
other. They will dissolve again into
their own proper root. For the nature of
matter is dissolved into what belongs to
its nature."
Gospel of Mary of Magdala
154'28.2"N 7321'19.3"E
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–
CHAPTER 1 –
Flickering Shadows
I could feel growing excitement at the prospect of my
feet touching the immaculate sand.
All these vivid colors, green, blue, white…
were invading my heart, swelling, incredible birds
were flocking above my head, chirping.
The air was so fresh and the water so pure that the
landscape took my breath away.
I was walking on the beach, the sun warming my
skin, my clothes and my whole being, grains of sand
tickling my toes.
I was now advancing towards the forest,
alone, smelling exotic and exquisite perfumes,
touching tree trunks, plants and admiring their
beautiful leaves, the virgin flora of this new Eden
when I suddenly saw her – mum – in the middle of
the forest, opening her arms, welcoming me.
The sun, high in the sky, was reflecting on her
silhouette and blond hair, blowing in the wind.
Mum? Warm tears were trickling down my
cheeks as I realized I was holding my mother, in my
arms.
Yes, child. I am with you, I have never left
you. And when the time comes, I will be there for you
too. I love you, always.
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She suddenly disappeared and my core constricted, at
the lost sight of her.
When I turn around, marching through the forest
again, trying to find her, I was stopped short by a
field of wild rose bushes, whose red petals I was now
touching seemed so fierce and strong.
Follow your heart and fulfil your destiny…I
heard my mother's voice echo through my mind.
My head was hurting so much. I felt heavy and
swollen. Should I try to open my eyes?
The pain was excruciating, just like the smell
– a mix of burning flesh, metal, bleach and blood.
Was I in a hospital?
I could hear a strange noise.
What was it…a drill?
Slowly I started to open my left eye.
The light was blinding and too strong to distinguish
anything.
Hands holding my skull, why?
My pulse started racing.
I heard a man yelling.
I passed out, again.
"You're stronger than I thought you would be, you
made it. Welcome to the team!"
I tried to open my eyes as I heard him talk.
You, monster. What had he done to me?
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My eyelids were so heavy. My mouth was so dry, my
head was spinning and so sore…What I saw was
blurry at first. But now I could see him, the guy from
the bar again, and next to him… the same guy? It
couldn't be.
"Leave her alone, J. You're not supposed to
be here. Let me handle it."
I could feel something sharp inside my right
arm and caught sight of tubes connected to a sort of
plastic bag. "W….a…..t…..er" I whispered.
"Not now. You need time to recover. Rest…"
the second J said again.
Unable to resist the urge of closing my eyes
again, I let go.
Deafening sound everywhere.
I could feel the floor vibrating.
An earthquake? Music?
An electric light was beaming.
I lay on the ground. That I was sure of; my back was
cold and my muscles were hurting.
My head. Ouch. What the fuck?
Touching my skull I didn't recall shaving one side of
it. I touched it again and felt a naked line just above
my right ear. I needed a mirror. Or maybe later. I
helped myself up with the bed next to me.
A sharp pain was radiating inside of me but was
distilled by a sort of dizziness.
Have I been drinking?
21
I tried to walk but I found it difficult to make a step.
It felt like walking on sand.
What was I doing here anyway? How had I
got in this place? Was I daydreaming again?
I started looking around me. I was in a sort of
hospital room. The walls were white. No furniture
except a bed and no sound except this vibration
coming from the floor or is it all inside my head?
Control, do not panic, you're gonna get out of
here. I tried to find a door but saw no evidence of
any.
A feeling of dread and frustration was slowly
rising inside me and invaded all my body.
My hands and legs began to tremble, and I collapsed
on the floor.
I could feel tears stinging my eyes. But I
swallowed them. And I did so because I had
remembered. No one was waiting for me, no one
would alert the police in order to know my
whereabouts, no one.
If life is ruthless to you, be ruthless to life.
That is what I had learned these past months.
I needed to stand up, to move, for my legs had
started to feel numb because of the lack of
movement. So I did it, I stood up, for what purpose, I
didn't know but I hadn't been raised to stay passive
and now I had to count on myself and myself only.
I was standing there when someone caught me off
guard.
"Hey, are you okay?" A small woman in
white with charcoal hair coming from nowhere had
put her hand on my shoulder.
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As tried to remove it, surprised by her
gesture, I froze at her touch, receiving thousands and
thousands of pictures to process at the same time.
My eyes rolled upwards, the pain inside my
skull was unbearable.
When I saw her.
She was cleaning cuts and applying a salve, injecting
patients with antibiotics and taking care of them,
speaking nice words.
And suddenly I knew, I knew the precise
movements to perform all these nursing acts,
I knew you had to check your syringe wasn't
containing air bubbles before injecting anything into
your patient's arm to avoid embolism,
I knew you had to wash your hands to avoid MSA
infections, I knew how to remove stitches and when
to do it… I could go on and on about all the new
things I knew.
But I had never been to a nursing school, I had never
attended any lesson about injecting patients.
What was happening to me?
I screamed, my head was hurting again but I
didn't know if it was a cry of pain or fear – fear of the
unknown or of losing myself completely.
The deafening noise in my head was seemingly
drowning my scream but it was still repelling the
only person who had shown me kindness here.
"It's okay. Don't worry." said a musky voice
next to me. I turned around.
It was him. At that moment I couldn't
suppress my rage any longer, I wanted to slap him.
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He was responsible for what had happened to me, it
was the third time I saw him and all these memories
were strongly linked to pain. "You bastard!"
As my hand was almost touching his face, he
stopped me in mid-air, not looking surprised at all.
"I'm not who you think I am. Look more closely."
I didn't know what he meant by it but there
was something in his voice that made me want to
trust him. I started staring at him, examining every
tiny detail of his muscular body; his large hands, his
broad shoulders, his face. His hair looked longer than
it had the last time I saw him. Then it hit me, like an
arrow piercing my heart. It wasn't the guy from the
bar, even though they looked alike.
Jared, I thought was his name, had brown eyes and
short hair, exuding confidence and pride. This
handsome man in front of me had gentle blue eyes,
and a body too stunning not to be noticed but he
didn't seem to be aware of it.
"You're not ...J...him."
"No, I'm his brother, Kellan. Now, get a grip
on yourself and follow me."
"No way. I want answers, right now. What
have you done to me? What am I doing here?" I was
shouting.
"You have two options; first one, you go on
yelling and I'm out of here. Second one, you shut up
and do what I tell you to do!" he said matter-of-
factly.
"Gee, thanks. So much for options!"
What choice did I have? I was in the middle of
nowhere, with no one to turn to.
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The best I could do was following him, escaping as
soon as I could. Reluctantly, I yielded. "Alright. As
long as you promise not to knock me out again."
"I can't promise you that even if I agreed to
it."
"Why not?" My voice was now subtly
pleading.
"It is not up to me to decide."
So that was it, the evil twins weren't the brain
behind all of this. Whoever it was, they were going to
pay, I thought to myself. I didn't know how but a
door suddenly appeared on one of the walls and I
followed him having run out of other options.
After ten minutes, walking in silence through the
same landscape, an endless gray hall, and having had
my share of dark thoughts and headache, I decided to
break it "Where are we going?"
Silence.
Complete and utter silence. I was about to provoke a
reaction by yelling at him again when I froze to the
spot. This time I couldn't be mistaken, it was Jared,
sardonically smiling at me while advancing towards
us.
"It was about time, beauty. You almost kept
me waiting."
"Give her a break, J." Kellan said, then added
out of blue "No, the recordings were inconclusive."
Who was he talking to?
"I'm not sure it's a good idea. I wouldn't risk
it. It wouldn't be the first time we disagreed on
something, J."
25
What was that? An unsettling feeling was
growing inside me.
Jared stopped in front of me, then he added
"See you, beauty."
"N..." was the only sound I could form before
being stung by something in my neck. Everything
turned dark and night swallowed me again.
I felt a pinch on my left arm, then nothing.
No noise; frightening silence and tormenting
darkness. I could hear the comforting beating of my
heart now.
Where was I? I opened my eyes, trying to get
used to my new environment. My pulse started racing
as my body recalled the scent of blood and metal. All
my senses were in alert now.
Fear. Simple, deep fear engulfing my whole
being and crushing everything on its way. I
recognized the feeling.
The room I was in seemed square and
uninviting. The walls were bright white with a
metallic table in the middle. Next to my bed, there
was a gray trolley full of surgery tools.
And next to the trolley, Kellan, with his now familiar
blue eyes.
I was sore, everywhere. My arms were
stretched.
I tried to move them but they were attached to
the bed, I couldn't feel my wrists nor my hands any
longer.
26
Why restraining me? I wasn't the criminal
here, they were. I promised myself not to give way to
panic and refrained my tears of rage.
"The more you try to resist, the more they
will cut your wrists. We needed to restrain you, we
didn't want to find you on the floor like last time." he
said, holding a syringe.
We? Who does he mean?
"Don't worry, I won't hurt you."
Easier said than done. Trying to gain my trust
was too late. "What am I doing here?" Make him
talk…I thought.
"You're at the facility, as we call it."
"Which day is it? How long was I out?" He
approached slowly and looked at me intensely.
Is he trying to say anything? His fierce and
hungry eyes were still concentrated on me, and trying
to avoid his stare, I noticed a red dot in the upper left
corner of the room.
He was now rearranging the trolley, putting
the needle into a flashy yellow bin and removing is
blue gloves.
"Untie me, now!" I demanded.
He was still not responding, when I heard
footsteps. They belonged to more than one person.
All confidently, almost angrily, walking towards me.
A hidden door automatically opened on my
left, was there an opening mechanism on the other
side?
I tried to catch a glimpse at what I thought
was a passage but the contrast between this passage
and the room I was being kept in was too stark to
27
distinguish anything. I even didn't know if it was day
or night. I had fed on adrenalin for the past ... what?
Days? Weeks?
A woman in her fifties all dressed in a black
suit and high heels entered, escorted by two of her
bodyguards.
At her side I immediately recognized Jared.
He was still smiling his cynical smile, wearing the
same kind of outfit he had when I had first met him,
showing off his perfect body with his even tighter
shirt.
The girl flanked on the right was wearing a
black, strapless dress with black gloves, holding a
beige file.
Strange for this place, I thought.
She looked just a couple of years older than
me, not more than twenty.
She was a tall, elegant blonde with a thin waist and
long hair held in a ponytail. She was smiling too, but
her smile seemed to unintentionally express all the
repressed sadism hidden by this perfect body. Her
steely gray eyes were trying to gouge me in detail.
"What is going on here? Release her now!
She's not a prisoner, she is our guest." said the oldest
of them three.
Looking at her expressionlessly and then
turning to me, Kellan freed me with the key he had
previously removed from his right pocket.
Blood was painfully finding its way back to
my hands.
28
The lady was addressing me this time "You
can call me Miss Stern." The strange woman's voice
was filled with determination and strength.
She was blonde too, slightly taller than the girl
wearing gloves, but her body could not disguise her
harshness and anger. Her pale complexion, wrinkles
and hawk-like eyes also seemed to betray great
intelligence and coldness. "I have to apologize for the
behavior of my staff but I'm glad to see you, miss…"
"Faith", Jared added.
"Faith? Give me her file Jeanne, would you?"
Jeanne complied. She opened the file and read. "I
dare say I understand why you would change your
name..."
"Go to hell!" I burst out.
"At least you can speak English. And French
as well."
"I…" I didn't know what to add. How does
she know all this? "What have you done to me?" I
finally asked.
"We tried to enhance you, darling, or your
brain capacity, if you prefer. I would have loved to
explain it all to you before surgery, you would have
seen the absolute necessity of what we do here. But
I'm afraid that's what happens with a lousy staff…"
She finished, glancing sidelong at Jared.
"Enhance? What do you mean?" Are they
mental?I asked myself almost in shock.
"I mean we inserted a needle in your cortex to
stimulate the unused parts of your brain. But
apparently it wasn't as efficient for you as I had
expected. You are supposed to become the strongest,
29
most intelligent of your kind. I have great hopes and
plans for you…But you probably need more time."
"My kind? What are you talking about, you
bitch? You will regret what you've done to me, I
swear I…"
Blondie number two seemed to wince at my
comment, taking a further step in my direction.
She was hampered by the swift movement of Stern's
arm.
"Don't, darling. She has all the rights to be
upset." She added to me this time "Take all the time
you need honey, I will explain everything when you
feel more incline. But there's one little test I would
like you to have and we'll leave you. Kellan, take her
hand, will you?"
And without a single movement of hesitation,
he took it. I could feel all my muscles tense and then
electrical warmth encircling first my hand, then my
heart, and irradiating my whole body. His hand had
felt soft in mine, and gentle, and protective.
I tried to recover my composure dreading the
now familiar pain in my head that such contact had
caused the first time.
Nothing.
Blondie was sniggering while Jared was
looking at me with a smug expression of disdain.
"Thank you darling, that's all for now. K, take
her to her room, she needs to rest. Jeanne, J, let's go,
please. We have business to attend to." Stern
finished.
30
"Wait, you haven't answered any of my
questions, I…" I was talking to myself as the trio had
already left the room without even rewarding me of a
second glare.
I didn't want Kellan to see me like this – fragile, and
frightened. It took all the courage I had left for me to
stand up and face him.
"Let's go!" he added.
I followed him but this time without
complaining, I was too exhausted and weak anyway.
31
–
CHAPTER 2 –
After Dark
We had left the familiar scent of blood, metal and
bleach for the smell of an indoor space only
ventilated by fans.
This place was like a maze, tunnels were
giving way to new ones at every angle, without any
code of colors nor numbers to indicate directions.
The light was weak, coming from the metallic floor
boarding and small lamps above every door we
encountered. There was no window, no sunlight, no
view, only gray angles and corners.
There was no noise, no voice nor any human activity.
The only sound I could hear was of my footsteps
echoing Kellan's and of fans working at thirty feet
from each other.
These premises were reflecting my inner state
but I didn't want to let despair invade all my
thoughts. Find a pattern. I thought. Left, left, right,
and left again.
At the end of this new hall Kellan stopped all
of a sudden and touched a square button on the wall.
A shape resembling a door lit up in front of me and
opened.
"Here. This will be your room." he said.
I entered.
32
The light was brighter in here but still no window.
There was a small bunk bed with fresh linen in the
left corner, a sink and toilet facing it. In front of me
there was a rusty mirror protected by something
resembling Plexiglas.
My reflection in it felt strange.
Who was this girl? It couldn't be me, I didn't
recognize myself. My head was partly shaved on the
right side and I looked stunningly defeated. I had
become a shallow of a person.
I turned around just to realize that Kellan had
gone. "Wait! Don't leave me here."
It was useless. I was left alone, in this square
room, like a prisoner. The door had turned into a wall
and with it, the consciousness of what had happened
struck me. I felt drained, famished and utterly
hopeless.
I stumbled upon a bed and lay down, trying to
calm my nerves, bracing my knees in fetal position,
silently sobbing.
I closed my eyes not to open them for a long time.
I was awake, looking at the ceiling of the bunk bed.
After a moment of hesitation I finally recalled where
they had taken me. I got out of bed and was heading
for the door when it turned translucent and opened.
"Kellan, what…?" I didn't have time to finish
my sentence.
33
He was already kissing me, passionately,
holding my head with his two hands, forcing his
mouth into mine, invading my space and pushing his
body against mine. I could feel his muscular chest
and incredible strength. I soon started feeling
stunned, my body burning, lit with a blazing fire.
What I felt was too powerful, happening too
soon, consuming every part of me, from the inside.
It felt odd and I tried to push him away, to stop his
embrace but he was too strong. And when he finally
let me catch my breath he whispered in my ear,
"Come one, beauty. I know you want it too."
Abject horror came with the realization that I had
been kissing Jared…
I startled out of bed, sweating, with vivid memories
of my disturbing nightmare.
How long was I asleep? I thought I could hear
footsteps fading away or maybe I was still dreaming.
My eyelids were still heavy but I was famished, I
needed food and a shower too...My lips were dry and
I could sense bitterness on my tongue. I sat down on
my bed, my head almost touching the structure of the
second bed above me. I couldn't make sense of
anything around me.
I just knew I had to get out. But how? At the right
time. When they expect it the least, when I've won
their trust. Let's find some food first…
34
The room was as I remembered it: modern,
gloomy and alien. The same faint night light was
burning. I decided to get out of bed.
My arms and legs were still sore, my sleep
had been restless.
I approached the wall that I recalled had been
the only way out. There, I saw it; this square was a
slightly different shade of metallic gray. I pressed it
and a door appeared on the same spot it had had the
day or night before – I still didn't know which one it
was as the brightness around me or the lack of it had
not shifted overnight.
I couldn't hear anything but decided to give it
a try anyway and went out.
Nothing.
"Hello? Anyone here?" I called out as I was
inspecting my surroundings. Getting lost in this maze
of tunnels would be useless, so I decided to go back
to my room. In front of the opened door, I saw
something resembling a tray.
Muffins? Yum. And what were these? Rags? Blankets,
right. No clothes? Are you kidding?
I needed to get changed. I was turning, facing the
door and carrying the tray with me. Suddenly I heard
a whoosh and felt wind on my face.
"Hey there. Faith, right?"
I almost died of fright, and let the tray fall on
the floor, I felt like a cat put under a running shower.
"Easy, you don't want to waste these, they're
the best." said the strange guy in front of me, picking
up the muffins from the floor.
35
"Do you want to give me a heart attack?" I
said angrily.
"I always forget. Sorry. But where are my
manners? Let me introduce myself. Ben, the greatest,
fastest guy on Earth. At your service, happy to see
you finally awake…" He was tall, brown-haired,
brown-eyed and tanned, composed but funny-looking
at the same time, with no sense of fashion.
He was wearing striped trousers and a checked blue
shirt. He had nothing in common with the body-
builders I had previously seen, he almost seemed frail
and sensitive.
"I don't understand… What do you want?" I
finally asked.
"I'm here to show you around and help you
get changed."
"No way, I'm not changing in front of you." I
insisted.
"That won't be necessary. See that button
there?" He was pointing at another shape – this time
a circle – at the opposite side of the room, next to the
mirror. "Push it, stand still and picture what you want
to wear. I'll be waiting for you outside."
"Wait! What do you mean by 'picture what
you want to wear'? Didn't you bring any clothes?"
I didn't want to trust anyone but Ben seemed alright.
I complied because I had nothing left to lose and I
couldn't spend another day in these clothes.
Nevertheless I hesitantly approached the corner of the
room. I hit the button as I had been instructed.
Picture clothes? Okay. A pair of jeans would be nice.
36
And a top, my favorite blue hoodie jumper of course
and army boots.
Suddenly a tube made out of glass appeared out of
nowhere, circling me around in pink neon lighting. I
started freaking out, again. I hit the glass as hard as I
could and shouted for help but no one answered. The
light inside the tube changed and I saw a red light at
my feet, going up, and melting my clothes? What the
f…?
I was naked and a second later what felt like the
power of a thousand waves crashed headlong onto
my skin.
Two seconds later, the stream turned into air and I
was dry. Another light, made of rainbow beams was
immersing me now and I could feel warmth, pins and
needles prickling all over my body. All of a sudden,
everything came to a halt and as the circular shape
was retracting to the ground.
I glanced at my newly clothed body: blue hoodie
jumper, jeans and army boots like I had imagined.
The door turned transparent again and Ben entered
the room.
"It'd better be comfortable", he said
gesticulating in front of me and pretending to be
offended.
"You owe me an explanation. Starting now!
Press the button? At least you could have warned
me."
"You wouldn't have believed me anyway.
Just the tech team having fun. Don't make a fuss
about it. What do you want to know?" he asked
sitting down on my bed.
37
"How is that even possible, how can I think
about something and see it materialize in front of
me?"
"That would be because of your chip."
"A chip? Which chip?"
"Can you touch the base of your skull?"
"Now?" I couldn't believe no one had
mentioned this to me before.
"Yes, do it now. Do you feel it? Sort of a tiny
plastic plaster?"
"I...yes, I can feel it."
"Each of us has one. They insert them after
the operation. It is supposed to monitor your brain
activity, to prevent aneurysm too."
I was surprised to realize that I knew what
aneurysm meant, but I did. "What do you mean by
us?"
"We call ourselves suprahumans or supras.
You'll see why once you meet the others." Ben
finished.
"What? Who did this to you?" It was getting
weirder and weirder by the minute.
"You mean to us? You're part of the team
now whether you like it or not. But let me fix your
interior first. I don't know how you managed to sleep
in there, it is hideous! We need to do something
about your lack of taste for fashion too... See the kind
of mirror over there?"
"Let me guess, it's not a mirror." I said.
"Sorry to disappoint you, it is a mirror, among
other things. Go standing in front of it."
38
My face must have betrayed my reluctance
because Ben was showing some impatience.
"Now! We don't have all day. I would like to
have breakfast before noon!"
I did as I was asked, surprised by the sudden
change of tone and turned around.
"Face the mirror and close your eyes. Think
of open space and fashion, of curves and colors..."
I wasn't listening anymore. I was feeling so
homesick. I knew I had to block the next images that
were coming to my mind, I didn't want to think about
them now. I couldn't afford to break down. Instead I
directed my thoughts to my room, back at the
apartment.
The wooden floor and huge windows letting the
sunlight in, the wooden shelves facing the fireplace
containing all the books I knew so well, my favorite
ones I had read at least three times and I couldn't
decide to throw away, the smell of pine and the white
candles decorating the table. I could feel the sun
warming my face, drying my tears away...I could
almost hear them now, whispering my name.
"Now open your eyes."
I woke up from my deep reverie with a jump.
Was I still dreaming? I couldn't believe what the
reflection in the mirror was showing me. I was at the
apartment, I was home. How was this possible?
"Not bad. I would have gone for a more
modern touch but it's cozy."
Ben was sitting down on my white leather sofa, I
couldn't believe it.
39
I was afraid someone would wake me up. I
didn't dare touch anything, afraid it might dissolve.
"Don't worry, you may still change your
mind, the room will adapt to your will."
"Wh..."
I didn't have time to finish my sentence, Ben
was already answering. "You see, that chip is not that
bad. It contains all the images your brain is
analyzing. The computer behind the mirror glass
interprets everything and tadaa. Let's go now, I'm
starving."
I didn't want to go, I wanted to lock myself in
here and never confront the real world again. But my
tummy was rumbling too. I took the muffins on the
tray and reluctantly followed Ben to the hall.
"Keep up. This way. " Ben was commanding.
I was trying to remember the way but this
new path, though very similar to the one I had taken
with Kellan, was longer and I quickly lost count.
Ben had stopped in front of a corner. "I can't
explain everything but here is the answer to the
question where." He pressed yet again another button
in the upper left corner of the wall that we were both
facing. The wall materialized into a frame and the
frame became translucent like my entrance door.
It was pitch black outside and I couldn't see
anything. I approached my face to what I supposed
was a window.
Nothing.
40
Then a small black shape took form, gliding in the
dark, another one, now followed by twenty, then
thirty.
Oh my God. It can't be. Fish? I was
surrounded by fish. We were underwater.
"We're in the Maldives. This whole facility is
immersed so forget about breathing fresh air. There,
let's go downstairs now", he added while pushing on
other shapes.
The frame turned into its original state and
gave way to another door.
I followed Ben into what seemed to be an
elevator.
The harsh brightness around us contrasted with the
pale light of the hall. The door turned opaque and
Ben, knowing exactly what to do, activated a sort of
control panel. We were moving I didn't know where
to. I gave a look at this small panel to my right.
Floor numbers lit up quickly.
But somehow, everything felt reversed: we had just
left the sixth floor, the numbers on the panel going
up. I thought Ben had said we would go
downstairs…Odd.
When number twelve became brighter, the door
disappeared again.
We were in front of a gigantic area.
These premises were organized like a human
body, all the veins conducting their load to the heart.
This grand dining room was this heart; full of
movement, spacious and welcoming every soul
41
waiting to be refueled. As soon as I caught a glimpse,
its interior took my breath away: its grandiose ceiling
with four glass chandeliers reflecting the light in the
room, the huge one-hundred-and-eighty degree
window frame with its view on a marvelous beach
with white sand and turquoise water, encircled by
two palm trees. I guessed this view was just an
image, like in my apartment, but it seemed so real,
you could almost smell the iodized wind blowing in
the tree leaves. The middle of the room was filled
with five gray rectangular tables, able to host two
hundred people at the very least. Only twenty were
sitting around them, chatting in five separate groups.
It looked more like a ball room than a dining room.
The shiny white floor and white tapestries, with
twenty familiar faces – American presidents'–
standing out in relief were another confirmation of
that impression.
Gain their trust…Go on. Get out of the
elevator… I was following Ben inside when I felt
eyes lingering on me. I held my breath when I saw
who they belonged to. It felt like advancing in slow
motion, in total silence.
The only sound I was aware of was my heartbeat
accelerating. Nothing else mattered than these blue
eyes fixing me, laying my soul bare.
I felt exposed, naked and fragile but I couldn't afford
to let them see it. My gaze held his and for a few
seconds it felt like we were just the two of us, the
frenzy of this world no longer affecting me.
"Let's go, Faith." Ben encouraged me.
42
It was only then that I realized, as Ben was
interrupting my reverie, who Kellan was sitting next
to. Crushed by the realization that he would never
care for a girl like me, I continued following Ben in
silence, cursing blondie for looking so perfect, even
with her freakish gloves on.
We finally arrived at the corner of the first
table where three new pairs of eyes were gazing at
me.
"Hey guys, what's up? Look who's with me!"
Ben said, going around the corner of the table and
taking place on the vacant seat in front of me.
As no one was uttering a word, I figured a
proper introduction was in order. "Hi" I said timidly.
"I'm Faith."
"We know who you are" said the black haired
boy next to Ben. He had big dark eyes, as black as
coal. He had endured pain and suffering, you could
say that much just by looking at him. He was casually
dressed in black and immediately turned his head to
peek at the table where my eyes had rested five
minutes before.
"Don't mind him, Wolf is not a morning
person…" said the girl on my right, smiling.
She was wearing a pair of jeans and a purple shirt
with sparkling stars on it. She seemed so young,
fifteen? Almost innocent.
Her blue eyes appeared altered by time, or pain – I
didn't know why. She had auburn hair and freckles
all over her face. "I'm so happy to meet you, we have
heard so much about you. I'm Maggy by the way,
43
and this is Toby", she said pointing at the boy sitting
next to her.
Toby couldn't be much older than me and he
seemed mesmerized by Maggy but not as naïve.
He was wearing vintage glasses you could barely
distinguish because his Venetian blonde hair was
covering half of his face. He was wearing a pair of
blue trousers and a black shirt.
"Sit down with us", Maggy added.
"Thanks" I answered most immediately. I
chose the safety of Maggy's surrounding and sat
down on her left.
"Welcome to the team", said Toby, trying to
play it cool.
"Thanks, I guess." How could they seem so
relaxed? They're even smiling? Didn't they endure
the same? "So how long have you been here?" I
ventured.
"I think the twins were first in the program,
Jeanne was second, Wolf was third, and then Ben
arrived. Finally Toby and I were altered last year. So,
you know, I still need to train to increase my ability."
"Your ability? What are you talking about?"
"As if you didn't know… You are one of
those who have endured the operation successfully,
what is yours?" Maggy further asked.
"Well I…I don't know yet…"
"Too soon? Maybe it will be better if I show
you, you'll know what to expect…"
Maggy then stretched her left hand. She closed her
eyes, focused but I couldn't see anything.
44
It was just after ten seconds that I noticed something
was moving above her hand. Some particles of dust
were dancing above her palm, then spinning, faster
and faster until they created a small tornado, the size
of a candlestick. It was amazing. She opened her eyes
and explained: "I can control the elements around
me, but as you can see, I need to increase my power."
"We all need to", finished Toby, trying to
reassure her certainly. "I'm a telekinesis", he added.
"What does it …" I didn't have time to finish
my question, one of my muffins was already moving
in the air and finished its course on his plate.
"Useful when you're hungry" he explained
laughing.
I couldn't hide my smile. "What about you?"
I asked Wolf hesitantly.
As he didn't bother answering, Maggy
continued "Wolf is a real predator, for starters he can
see in the dark and he hears everything, miles away."
Hence the name Wolf I imagined. "What
about the others?"
"You mean Jeanne and the twins? We don't
really know. No one does exactly, except Ms. Stern
of course. All we know is that they must be really
powerful, Jeanne, Kellan and Jared are always away
on missions and they always sit together." finished
Maggy.
"Not much of a loss, if you want my opinion"
said Ben.
At that moment, Wolf stood up loudly and
exited the room, as if he had seen a ghost.
They all looked at him incredulously.
45
"What's his problem?" I asked but I could see
they weren't listening, instead their eyes were all
fixing something or someone behind me with
defiance.
I decided to turn around to check what was
happening when I heard a whisper in my ear: "Sweet
dreams, beauty?"
I froze as Jared was moving away from me
while chuckling sarcastically. At this moment, all my
frustration and anger rushed back, together with the
recall of painful past events – the operation, the pain,
the constant frustration and the purposely lack of
answers. As my heartbeat was accelerating I felt
flushed and ready to scream.
"Excuse me…" I apologized to my new friends,
pushing my chair away from the table to stand up
more easily.
I looked around and spotted Jared near the buffet in
front of our table. I was slowly walking to him,
taking my time to savor that moment.
When I was facing his back I asked him "Jared,
right?"
He turned around, but too slowly to anticipate
what I had had in mind since our second meeting. I
slapped him fiercely in the face, letting my anger take
the best of me and added "Stay away from me, you
bastard!"
I could hear Ben and the others clapping their
hands, cheering and whistling as I was admiring the
astounded face of Jared who still didn't understand
what had happened.
46
He was rubbing his left cheek slowly, his face
no longer able to hide his mischievous nature, his
eyes only confirming what I already knew: he would
want his revenge.
But I didn't care anymore. I wanted control
over my life again, this pretentious jerk couldn't hurt
me anymore without expecting retaliation.
I was heading back to Maggy when I peeked
at Jeanne who seemed even more furious than Jared.
Her face was red with anger, she was trying to stand
up but Kellan's arm was preventing her from
attempting anything. He was looking down, as if he
were hiding… a smile? I must have been mistaken.
When I found my seat back next to Maggy, I
was famished. I took the remaining muffin and ate it
quickly.
She chuckled "well I'm sure he didn't see that
one coming. He sure deserved it, he's such a jerk."
The other two were nodding and smiling at
me too.
I turned to face Maggy, to know more about
where I had landed "You said those who have
successfully endured the operation. How many are
there?"
"With you included, we are eight. But I think
they've tried on others…" She wasn't smiling
anymore.
"On others? What happened?" I wanted to
know.
"I guess… I guess they didn't survive the
operation. We never saw them…
47
But every time Jared and Kellan leave for a few days,
I think they bring back a new recruit… And they've
been away a lot recently, five or six times before your
arrival…"
"Oh my Gosh. How do we stop them?"
"Stop them, are you insane? We are all
volunteers. Ms. Stern saved me, she saved us. The
twins and Jeanne are total jerks but they're here
because they chose to. No one forced us."
Why didn't they let me choose then?
At this moment, as I knew my question would remain
unanswered, I felt a presence behind me. Alarmed by
the possibility that it could be J, I turned around
carefully, ready to react in case of attack.
It was Wolf. "You are to be in Ms. Stern's
office in five minutes. Follow me."
"How dare you..?" I tried to say.
But Maggy was already whispering to me
"Do not argue with Ms. Stern, she wants what's best
for you, you'll see."
Maybe Maggy was right, maybe she would
give me the answers I was looking for…I stood up
and followed Wolf to the elevator, having weighed
all my options, my curiosity had won.
48
–
CHAPTER 3 –
Blurry Sight
Stuck in this enclosed space, I tried to focus on where
I was going. The control panel had indicated one
before stopping.
Wolf hadn't pronounced a single word since
passing along Stern's request. Something told me he
wouldn't pronounce any audible sound unless it was
totally necessary. I was wondering why he had
chosen his name and if all the supras were like him. I
already knew Maggy wasn't but I couldn't say Ben or
Toby had been really talkative about their life here.
One thing was certain though, I knew I couldn't trust
any of them. Maybe they are right to remain
secretive because once I have the chance to expose
them all, I will, without the slightest hesitation.
That was it, my life now: a world stained with
deceit, bitterness and loneliness.
We were still walking along these new walls – Wolf
leading – and I realized that everything seemed to be
the same around here; it still seemed impossible to
find your way, the sound and smell were identical to
my floor – silence and dust.
49
The only difference resided in their color:
these walls were a dark shade of gray. It certainly
fitted the host's personality: cruelly cold.
Wolf suddenly stopped moving to inhale
noisily.
"What's the matter? Is there something on the
stove?" I ventured, half mocking him, half trying to
make a statement: the dense air was unbreathable
here.
"Shhh..." was the only thing he grumbled.
"Stay here, she will receive you in a minute."
And with that, he disappeared into the maze, leaving
me behind.
One minute passed, then two. I was keeping track of
time, with one finger on my pulse. It had always been
as regular as a clock.
I imagined that shouting was a total waste of
time, so I wouldn't even bother.
At the count of eighty new pulsations, a bright
ray of light bathed me entirely, so strong I was
blinking. Half covering my eyes, I tried to see where
it had come from.
The ceiling.
With this sudden realization I also felt myself
become lighter, almost floating. But I was floating, I
was moving into thin air, ascending towards the
ceiling. It felt like being trapped in a huge vacuum.
I couldn't open my eyes – the light was too
intense – but at a certain point I sensed my feet touch
the concrete and I risked opening them.
50
This exasperated high pitched voice was
giving me gooseflesh as I recalled who it belonged
to.
"Have a seat." Ms. Stern said, not even
bothering to look at me nor move an inch.
Her office was tidy and impersonal: no picture, no
plant, nor color.
Everything was white or black.
Her dark desk was covered with what seemed
to be stacks of files, one she had already opened and
pretended to be reading.
She had a white file cabinet with black
drawers on her right and a huge window frame
behind her. The image dancing on the screen was the
view I imagined you could have from a skyscraper in
New York. It portrayed a marvelously balanced
landscape: building on both sides and a patchwork of
green in the middle.
I had never seen Central Park from this height but it
was how I would imagine it.
I still couldn't believe these premises were
immersed. Maybe it was another of their tricks.
I sat down on the ivory chair in front of me. It
was cold, uninviting and uncomfortable.
She swiftly closed her file and reopened
hostilities. "I called for you to have an update on your
condition. It's been more than a week now, ten days
to be exact, that you underwent alteration and still no
sign of activity. It is quite odd considering it took less
than twelve hours for the others to show upgrade."
What did you expect?
51
"Have you felt anything unusual?" she went
on.
"You mean except the splitting headache I
need to thank you for? No, nothing."
"Don't take this tone with me, young lady.
Now, I see that your chip recorded a peak of activity
but it could have been the pain."
"How could you do this to me?" I asked
violently.
"I beg your pardon?"
"I mean, how could you do this to me, bitch!"
"How dare you? I've already apologized for
the way my staff treated you... One day you will
thank me!" she said with her smug tone.
"How could you ever expect me to thank
you?" I went on. "You took everything from me.
What about my freedom? I had a life!"
"You call this a life? You may not realize it
yet but I gave you everything on a silver platter:
opportunities and a cause worth fighting for when
you had lost everything. Don't you want to matter?
To make a difference in this world? Because you will
never have another chance like this again. I know you
are affected by the anarchy we live in; corruption,
terrorism, global warming… You know we owe it to
ourselves to act upon these issues. I've just given you
what the mere mortals will never have: the
conscience of what is really happening and the tools
to fight it" she continued.
I couldn't believe this woman's sheer
audacity. Was she totally out of her mind?
52
"I've never asked for any of it. It is not my fight. I
had plans and a whole life ahead of me."
"You're right, it's not your fight; it's
everyone's. And about your life all planned ahead,
your file here says otherwise." she answered angrily.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean your hospital report here says
otherwise." She grasped a sheet of paper out of her
file and gave it to me to read.
Post-traumatic stress? It was all too detailed,
I didn't have the time to read everything and I didn't
want to hear anymore of her bullshit. Using my
suicide attempt was a low blow but I wasn't going to
let her throw it at me without a fight.
"It was an accident. It's what happens when you
drink and you forget that you're using sleeping pills."
"I don't believe a word of it. You knew
exactly what you were doing. And who could blame
you? You had just lost the only people who really
cared for you. But don't tell me you had it all figured
out. You were totally lost and had no one.
But everything is different now. Once you really
understand what we're trying to do here, you will be
proud to be part of it. We're your family, you're not
alone anymore. Trust me and give me a chance to
show you. What have you got to lose?"
I didn't know what else to say.
"This whole post-traumatic stress incident
will stay between us but I need you to cooperate. You
will have to report to your personal physician every
day and we'll monitor any modification. In the
meantime you will have to work, train and learn like
53
any other member of our staff. After that you'll be
free to leave if you're not convinced."
"Why me?" I finally asked.
"You will see for yourself. That will be it."
she concluded without letting me any other
opportunity to speak up.
I was mute with confusion. I was about to ask
her where to go when Wolf appeared in a glimpse
through the same passage I had used. He came to
stand on my left in front of her desk.
"Report?" she asked him briskly.
"I thought we had been followed but it seems
I was mistaken. The trail grew cold near the second
elevator. It could have been anyone."
"Go on investigating. I want to catch the
culprit as quickly as possible. Accompany Faith to
Dr. Drest's." As he wasn't showing any response she
added "Now."
Wolf looked at me, his face betraying his
mistrust. He took me by the arm and we were back in
the tunnel in a matter of seconds, still bathing in
light.
Dr. Drest's office was on the eighth floor. Again the
same maze – black this time – led us there.
Wolf had had the decency to wait for me in
front of the door that had disappeared in front of us at
the precise moment we had arrived.
As the door turned solid again, Dr. Drest said
"Come on in Faith. Sit down and make yourself
54
comfortable." She was petite, certainly in her late
twenties. She had brown eyes and long black hair.
She was wearing a white shirt.
She had stood while greeting me and I had sat down
on the only chair in front of her desk. Her office was
the traditional white, there was an auscultation chair
covered with protective paper in the middle of the
room and next to it there was a tray with sterile
surgical tools : scalpels, tweezers, gauze, compresses,
suture scissors, bandage scissors, a plaster knife,
plaster shears, an antiseptic and surgical gloves
coming out of a box. I knew all their names. Odd.
The smell in this room was surgically tainted too:
bleach mixed with a scent similar to the interior of a
new car. I tensed at the memory of such a scent.
"I'll be with you in a moment." she added seemingly
hiding behind her three-screened computer. The only
personal touch in her office was the photo of a soldier
in his uniform, in a wooden frame – half facing her.
He must be in his thirties, tall, black hair, good-
natured even though he wasn't smiling.
Her fiancé maybe?
She was the total opposite of Stern: warm,
calm and patient.
I didn't know what Dr. Drest was doing in a place
like this; she seemed smart and reasonable enough.
Why would she agree to be the silent witness of my
imprisonment?
She stopped typing and started "Thank you
for your patience. The paperwork is really the worst
part of the job." She smiled.
55
"I'm Doctor Drest and I'm in charge of your case.
Everything you say here is confidential.
I have to report your alteration progress but do not
hesitate to ask any question you might have. If there
is anything I can help you with, I will."
She went on "I see Ms. Stern has scheduled an
everyday meeting at nine thirty sharp. So we will
meet here as asked. This medical examination
consists of three parts, an anamnesis – questions
about your physical health or any problem,
inconvenience you might experience after surgery – a
medical examination per say – like cleaning your
surgical wound, and, finally, I was asked to analyze
your chip data on a daily basis. As you know all the
altered subjects are implanted with a chip. You might
not feel them, but you have stitches at the base of
your skull. If it's itchy, it's always a good sign. It
means that you are healing properly. We're going to
remove these today but don't worry, you won't feel
anything. This chip is transmitting information to my
computer, about your health and the progress you
might observe towards alteration."
I couldn't stop myself from moving my right
hand to touch the area she was talking about when
she hastened to add "Please don't. I will examine you
in a moment. Your pulse seems even, blood pressure
is okay, blood tests are good: you're in perfect health.
But I see here that you've had a seizure already. How
are you feeling now?"
As I was not answering she explained "We
name seizure any time lapse when your body stops
56
functioning normally, with a shift in your
neurological activity.
The causes may be several: pain, aneurysm,
embolism or in your case alteration may be one of
them."
"I know what a seizure is…" I answered,
looking at my hands.
"Can you tell me what happened when you
woke up?" she asked.
I looked at her suspiciously. "You mean when
I had these splitting headaches, so strong I couldn't
move?"
She immediately retorted "Was it what it felt
like? Headaches? On a scale of one to ten, one being
slight and ten being persistent agonizing pain, how
would you rate these headaches?"
I didn't know what to say, she appeared to be
really concerned about my discomfort. But she was
with them. "I don't know...a nine?"
She went on "I see... Do you know what
started them?" She was taking notes on her computer.
At that moment I lost my patience "What
about you asshole surgeons operating on me without
my consent?"
After two seconds, she asked "What did you
say?"
"You heard me! You did this to me, you and
your superhero team. So tell me how to get rid of
these migraines and give me my life back."
She looked dumbfounded "You mean you
didn't volunteer?"
57
"Volunteer? Are you kidding me? Do you
think I would volunteer to be a guinea pig?"
"Well, I don't know what to say...I…" she
was stammering.
"Have a look at your file and check your
Intel! I think you might be missing the reasons of my
being here. I didn't know kidnapping and torturing
were parts of your job description!"
She looked at me almost apologetically.
"I'm sorry Faith, I didn't know. This procedure is
quite unusual. I'll check into it, I promise you. Now,
please don't forget that I'm here to help you. I'll do
everything in my power for you to feel that I'm
trustworthy."
For a moment she looked sincere and I almost
allowed myself to believe that I could confide in her.
But this new sign of kindness was too much: my
judgment was clouded by two different emotions –
sadness and anger. My heart constricted.
Without being able to hold them back, tears were
slowly sliding down my cheeks. I quickly erased the
proof of my weakness with the palm of my right
hand.
She looked away for a second and then said
"if you agree I would like to examine you now and
remove your stitches, you will feel more
comfortable."
She stood up at my nod, walked to the other end of
the room and washed her hands above the sink close
to the auscultation chair. She took a pair of gloves
and faced me again, putting them on. "Please sit
down here, facing the wall behind me."
58
I turned around to monitor her movements.
She had prepared tweezers, a pair of scissors
and was spreading some liquid – the antiseptic
certainly – on the compresses.
I quickly faced the wall again.
"Could you hold your hair for me and look
down?"
I had no other choice than to do as I was told.
"Okay, perfect. The wound is not infected. I'll
clean the area first and then remove the stitches. Stay
still."
After a freezing cold sensation, I could feel
her pull the stitches but it was as she had promised,
painless. She listened to my heart and lungs, took my
blood pressure even if I was sure my chip was
exactly measuring every single detail of my bodily
functions. Then I was back in my chair, muted.
"You will find everything you need in your
bathroom cupboard for your monthly period,
antiseptic too. Apply it once more tonight. It will do.
We'll meet here tomorrow, same time, same place."
As she wasn't adding anything else, I stood
up, ready to leave when she tried to say something.
"Faith…I…There are some great people here.
You will get used to our way of living. Don't worry."
How long are they going to keep me here? I
don't want to get used to it, I didn't ask for any of it
in the first place! How many times do I have to
explain this? I left without turning around and exited
into the hall.
59
"You must be hungry. Let me take you to the dining
room." Kellan had startled me out of my mental
prison.
Why couldn't they ask Maggy to escort me
back? I started following him without saying
anything.
I'll never remember my way out of here…all
these thoughts were appearing in my head. I offended
Jared, now I had to put up with his brother? This
couldn't be good.
I still didn't know what to think of Kellan. He
hadn't harmed me –yet – but he was with them, with
Stern – my abductor. We had arrived in front of the
elevator. He was facing me, looking at me intensely.
I did the same for I wouldn't look down, not in front
of him, not in front of anyone. Our eyes seemed to
have a mind of their own, wanting to remain that
way.
"Let's go." he finally said as he was the first
to break our stares, entering the elevator.
We both remained silent. But it didn't seem to
bother him. It wasn't a strained silence we had lapsed
into. It seemed we were just gauging each other's
reaction.
I recognized the floor number: twelve. At least he
had brought me where he had said he would.
He was going out of the elevator now, leaving
me alone. When he suddenly turned around, came
back to me and whispered "Nice punch by the way"
and left for good this time.
60
All I could see next was Jeanne, meeting him
with a broad smile and blood lust in her eyes.
I stayed several seconds longer in the elevator
to catch my breath, too preoccupied to notice the new
decoration the dining-room had endured.
As I was approaching Maggy's table, I went past
Jeanne's.
Kellan totally ignored me, letting me wonder
what he had meant a few minutes before. Mocking
me for sure. Well, I couldn't care less about his
opinion.
"Hey Faith, how has it been?" Maggy asked,
facing Ben and Toby.
Neither Jared nor Wolf were around. Good.
"Okay I guess."
When she heard I wasn't going on, she looked
at me with encouraging eyes.
"Doctor Drest was nice. I'm healing
properly…" I added.
"Well, that's good news!" Toby replied
enthusiastically.
I smiled shyly. "May I sit down?" I further
tried.
"Of course, I saved this seat for you. But you
must be starving, let me show you the buffet first…"
Maggy said, suddenly standing.
"If I were you, I wouldn't try these greenish
little things, they taste like dirt…" said Ben.
"Duly noted!" I smiled again, and followed
Maggy.
61
"Everything is fresh and the menu varies
every week. This week's theme is fusion cooking.
Try these, they're delicious" Maggy continued
pointing at some purple and brown toast in display.
"Alright" I answered hesitantly.
"Nice entrance by the way…" she said.
"What..?" I didn't know what she had meant.
"I saw you come in with Kellan…I'm not the
only one… You should have seen Jeanne's face when
she spotted you two together…She was green with
envy."
"I…He was asked to escort me to the dining
room… It's really not what you think…Anyway, he
ran back to her as soon as we arrived…"
"She wishes…" Maggy added.
"I don't understand…"
"Jeanne's been after the twins for as long as I
can recall. She even dated Jared for a while
apparently. It was before my arrival. But she will
never have what she wants from Kellan, I promise
you."
"Not that I'm interested but …how do you
know?" I asked, curious of her answer.
"Look at him…"
I risked a furtive glance.
"He doesn't seem at all interested in what she
is saying" she continued. "Plus, I'm a people person,
I can feel those things…"
"I believe you" I said half-mockingly, filling
my plate with different pieces of toast of very strange
colors.
62
Time was flying by with those three. They were
always talking about light matters, not at all
preoccupied by anything important.
I learned that they had been recruited by
Jeanne or the twins but that they had accepted the
offer voluntarily. No one had forced them. They
assured me they were here because they wanted to.
However no one seemed willing to talk about their
past. I still didn't understand what had made them
choose this path or why they had been selected.
We agreed to meet tonight, after dinner, eaten
every evening in our apartment. Movie night they had
suggested.
It should be fun, though I haven't seen any
TV... I was wondering, when Wolf cut me off.
"Lunch is over. We have to go."
"Isn't it the valiant Wolf in his armor? Ready
for another battle I see…" said Ben.
When I saw Wolf tense without bothering to
answer, I knew I had to go. "Well guys, see you
tonight, then?" I asked then added "Wait, where do
we meet?"
"Don't worry, I'll wait for you in front of
your apartment. But we all live on the same floor, so
now you know" Maggy finished. "Let's say at
seven?"
"Perfect. See you…" And I was on Wolf's tail
once more.
63
"Where are we going?" I was trying to start the
conversation in between floors.
"You will attend a presentation then start
training."
Great! I hate going to the gym!
Fortunately our movie night was something to look
forward to.
The elevator was still moving up instead of down
when it stopped on the third floor.
"Follow me." Wolf went on.
As if I had anywhere else to go!
We took a left, then another one and again.
These halls were once more very similar to Stern's
but with another reigning color, they were a light
yellow. The odor – a mix of sweat and dust – was
making me sick. Fortunately the air conditioning was
on. I was trying to control my breathing when Wolf
abruptly stopped.
"In here…" he said as I was invited to enter a
faintly lighted office.
There was a large table in the middle and
some chairs encircling it. I looked around, there was
no other entrance and the door that had let me in had
already disappeared.
Shouldn't I wait for someone before sitting
down? There was still no one so I randomly opted for
a chair, waiting for some human company, in vain.
Two seconds later, the table disappeared to be
replaced by an impressive three-D image, displaying
Stern with a similar suit to the one I had seen her
with on my first day here.
64
"Welcome to Stern Corporation and
congratulations for you have chosen to fight with us
and make a difference…" Her mellifluous voice was
echoing strongly through the silent office.
Chosen? Yeah, right!
"Wars, terrorism, pollution, diseases, global
warming…our world is drawing to an end."
Her face had faded away and had been replaced by
horrible images – nuclear plants destroyed, men
burning because of radiations, dying because of
floods, or draught.
"But your decision will affect the course of
your life, and save humanity from desolation. Stern
Corporation is our only hope."
Is this a joke? Is this how she was fooling
them all? You must be kidding me…
"You being here means you have passed stage
one, you survived alteration surgery. This was no
mere luck. Life has selected you to protect it. In the
following weeks, you will learn to focus, meditate
and control your gift…"
I could see a map of Stern Corporation now, its
twelve floors, the layout of halls mirroring letters S
and C, intertwined like a serpent and its prey.
"On the first floor you will find my office and…The
building is equipped with two elevators…"
Each floor was clearly indicated on this virtual map
that had formed in front of me, following her exact
course of explanation. I could almost touch it.
65
"You will find four emergency exits with diving
equipment on each floor. In case of emergency, a red
light will appear and you will be asked to dive to the
surface…"
I had almost forgotten we were in the ocean.
But I've never learned to dive…
"You were assigned a particular physician
that you will meet daily. Your chip is another safety
measure that will allow us to give you the best
possible care. Your physician will answer any
question you might still have concerning you medical
status."
Sure, sure… How am I supposed to trust them
when they have implanted a foreign object in my
brain?
"You will observe a daily program, with
exercises aimed at improving you physically and
mentally…Your diet will be balanced as well, to
increase your abilities…"
I was half-listening to her now. All these
rules? Welcome to the Army!
Virtual Stern was back now. "Once again,
thank you for your commitment. You're already a
hero."
Yeah, right!
Brighter lights were turned on and sliding
doors formed on my left.
Time to leave I guess.
But when I saw Wolf waiting for me in the
hall, my heart constricted.
Why was I feeling disappointed?
66
We had arrived in front of my training room on the
fourth floor.
Once more Wolf left me alone, this time in an
almost naked square room. No mirror, no treadmill
nor bike? The wooden floor felt soft under my soles.
How do they expect me to train in here?
"Welcome Faith."
My heart had missed a beat and I jumped of
fright. The image of a well-built man in his thirties
had formed in front of me. My green-eyed, brown-
haired and tanned Californian-looking virtual trainer
would certainly be Maggy's type.
"Welcome to your focus training, day one.
My name is Danian. We are going to work together.
Your commitment to this program is essential if you
wish to succeed and improve your skills. Please be
seated at the center of the room. Our first series of
exercises will help you find the best meditation
technique suited to your needs. Kick off your shoes
and sit down..."
As I had nothing better to do, I followed
Danian's instructions.
"In Yoga, you need to follow what is called
an asana or posture. The first one is depicted like this;
legs crossed, hands on thighs, index fingers and
thumbs touching. This posture will help you focus
and breathe more freely…"
Thank God I'm wearing trousers!
"…It is used to open your energy channels,
chakras and body psychic centers. Breathe in,
exhales, find your own rhythm…In, out, in, out…"
How difficult could this be?
67
"Focus on your body, your hair, ears…"
Focus? What does he think I'm trying to do?
"You feel relaxed and calm, you are ready to
find your inner strength. You feel invincible…"
Yeah, right…
"Don't open your eyes, please. Listen to my
voice and my voice only…"
Oh boy, it's going to be a long afternoon…
After what felt like a decade, I finally received the
authorization to move.
"Thank you for your cooperation. We'll
practice some more tomorrow, same time, same
place…"
"Wait, where am I supposed to go?" I asked,
standing and stretching. But Danian had already
disappeared.
There was still no visible door nor possible
way out. I was stuck here.
I was growing impatient, what stupid exercises would
they find next? I started knocking on the wall.
"Guys? Anyone? Can you hear me?"
The room was suddenly dark and I could hear a
female voice. Stern's?
"Please, sit down."
Sit down? Where?
A lighted square was growing out of the floor. I
obeyed.
68
"You're going to experience another
meditation practice. This time I will ask you to
remember as many images as possible."
In front of me I could see pink and yellow
butterflies flying around, a rainbow, a field, a
ladybug …It was amazing. All these images seemed
so real, their color so vivid. But whenever I tried to
touch them, they would evaporate.
A river moving under my feet, a bridge in front of
me, and fish jumping out of the water, and on the
river bank a gun…
A gun? Have I really seen this?
A day at the park, trees, birds singing and a
dog playing with a bone.
A hand? Was it a hand it was holding?
Impossible…
A pecan pie on a picnic blanket, children on a
playground, playing…
Crying and screaming?
I didn't know what this exercise was but it was
staring to freak me out, I could hear my heart
pounding hard in my chest.
A tree, a child holding a kite and…
A knife? A bloody knife? What the fuck?
Please make them stop, it's not funny at all.
I couldn't watch any longer.
"Please keep your eyes open and remember as
many images as possible."
"Fuck you! Let me out of here! Now!"
I kept my eyes closed until I was sure no other
landscape was flashing by in front of me.
69
"Thank you for your cooperation. We'll
practice some more tomorrow, same time, same
place…"
"Fuck you!" I repeated again to the female
voice. I stood up and a door appeared on my right. I
exited the evil room.
I looked left then right. Wolf was nowhere near me. I
was furious.
Stay calm? Cooperate? Fuck them, this is too
weird. I took a left and walked fast. I wasn't going to
let them use me.
I started shouting in the void "I'm out of here! Do
you hear me? I'm leaving!"
I was running now, evacuating all the tension, anger
and frustration I had felt. I arrived at the end of the
hallway and stopped. The hall divided into three
other hallways of equal dimension. I didn't know
which one to take. I opted for the path in front of me.
I started running again.
There was no end to this path, no door, no elevator.
Shit! It was too late to go back, so I continued
walking. "Get me to Stern! Right now!" I shouted
once more.
The gloomy lights around me were giving me the
creeps, the only sound; my steps resonating through
these endless halls.
Lights were getting still fainter in here. I went back to
running again, faster this time until I realized,
looking back, that there was a shadow following me.
So I ran, faster and faster, I needed to get this dark
silhouette away from me or I would die, I knew it.
70
I risked looking behind me one more time, the
shadow had gone. I could slow down now, I needed
to. But my feet weren't responding anymore.
I kept on running faster and faster, when I saw the
same shadow now in front of me, this shadow was
looking at me and I was going straight to it. I
screamed.
"Wake up now! Wake up!"
I could feel someone shaking me, holding my
arms. "Don't touch me!"
Wolf seemed relieved to hear me protest, his
hard facial expression softening at the sound of my
voice.
"What happened?" I asked him.
"I found you here, on your knees, screaming
with your eyes shut."
"I…There was no one here when I got out of
the training room…I don't understand…"
"For God's sake…Jared…Jared is here, come
on, stand up."
"How do you know he's here?"
"Let's get out of here or we'll both be caught
in one of his nightmares…"
I followed Wolf's lead and didn't dare ask
him for any further explanation…Was it his gift?
Frightening people? In that case I understood why he
was taken on missions…
71
Wolf left me in front of my apartment. I was still
trembling with anxiety.
How could Jared do such a thing? Why
wasn't I able to respond after my alteration?
I needed to find a way to fight back and fast if
I wanted to survive in here… Maybe Maggy would
be able to help? I would need to ask her tonight.
As I was trying to calm my nerves in my
entrance hall, I noticed new elements in my interior.
Next to my door I could see an electronic board
projected on the wall with an activity description.
My timetable?
It read:
26
th
April
9'30 Dr. Drest,
10'30 - 12'30: meditation 1,
2 - 5 p.m. meditation 2
27
th
April
9'30 Dr. Drest,
10'30 - 12'30: meditation 1,
2 - 5 p.m. meditation 2
26
th
April? I must have lost track of time. When was I
last in New Orleans? Almost two weeks ago…Stern
was right. How is it possible? And they don't have
regular boards in here? Paper or forget-me-nots? I
needed to get used to this new communication
technology.
At least they couldn't be held responsible for
destroying the Amazon rainforest I thought.
I wish I had a clock, it would be so much easier...
72
A circle appeared out of nowhere. Once again it was
a black projection, but this time of a clock.
Okay, this is freaking me out now. How did they
know I wanted the time? Am I being watched? I
looked around still feeling uncomfortable and on the
verge of losing my mind.
Everything is okay, everything is okay, you're okay.
I had found my familiar position in the corner
of the room, rocking my body against the wall and
biting my fingers, breathing in and out the dusty air
of my apartment.
Move, now! Do it! You can't stay here all
night. You can't…And I went to the bathroom to get
prepared.
I opened the door to see Maggy's refreshing smile.
"Ready to party?" she asked.
"Are we going to dance as well? I'm not
dressed properly…" I asked smiling back.
"Ooooh Faith, we really need to do
something about this style of yours…dancing or no
dancing…" Ben said laughing.
"Why are you laughing?" I was looking at
my outfit; a pair of jeans, a red V-neck shirt with
sneakers. It was comfortable and easy-going at the
same time…I didn't see what Ben had meant.
"Never mind, let's go!" added Toby.
73
We were walking nonchalantly to Ben's
apartment and for the first time in years, I felt like I
was fitting in.
This feeling didn't last long, for, a second
later, in front of us, I saw Jeanne, wearing a gorgeous
black dress, high heels, hair up and sparkling earrings
with matching gloves.
She was walking with Jared on one side and …Kellan
on the other.
The three of them were heading towards us. It was
obvious they were in for a good time.
Why did they need to be overdressed and gorgeous
all the time? Jared had a triumphant dark smile on
his face while approaching us. I was determined to
ignore them more than ever.
But Ben stopped suddenly and a door
appeared on our right.
Inside he had some vintage music on.
I knew the artist, Birdy's words were
resonating through his apartment: "Can you hear
when I say I have never felt this way…"
They all entered.
I was about to follow my friends into Ben's
dream premises when I turned around and looked
back.
Kellan was looking straight at me. For a
moment time seemed suspended as I was staring back
at him with the same intensity.
Then he disappeared, leaving me blushing
with my pulse racing, heartbeat resonating in my
ears.
74
"That is quite a museum you have here." I said to
Ben, trying to forget what had just happened.
All around me were radios, paintings, picture
frames and ash trays, all from the 70's. His condo
looked like a cottage by the sea, the walls naked to
the brick on some parts, painted in pale green on
others, with a beautiful view, white candles leaving a
vanilla scent and the sound of seagulls flying in the
sunset.
"Well it's a pale imitation of my childhood
beach house, or at least what I would have wanted it
to be like if I had had one." he answered.
"But I thought your chip could only interpret
real information…" I replied.
"I pictured it…my apartment… saw some
parts in my favorite magazines… Real enough to
me." Ben smiled.
"What would happen if I jumped down?" I
asked, looking over his balcony. Was all this real?
"Your mind would interpret it like a real fall.
We're not really that high, but high enough for you to
get hurt."
I didn't want to check his theory.
"What do you want to watch tonight, Faith?"
asked Maggy.
"Whatever you want, you can choose..."
"Ready for an epic night?" asked Toby.
"What do you have in mind?" I didn't know
what he had meant.
"Well, it's a tradition of ours to have at least
one movie of each genre every month…" Ben started.
75
"Sci Fi movies? Really…" I said as he had
given me a DVD.
"The Sci Fi movie to be exact. You will love
this one…"
I could read Avatar on the cover.
"It's a classic…" Ben continued.
"Alright" I didn't dare refuse. "Is your DVD
player vintage as well?" I asked openly making fun
of him.
"Oh don't worry about it…" Maggy winked
at me.
"Please be seated" Ben indicated a cream
colored sofa in the middle of the room, but there was
no screen in front of it, just his picture window.
"I…"
"Sit down" said Toby. "Trust me…"
I sat down not knowing what to expect and
Ben followed two seconds afterwards.
Ben's living-room darkened to form shades of black
and grey. I could hear the voices and sense the smell,
smoke, dirt and filth of the city where people were
advancing…I could hear footsteps.
I saw a man – his body kept in the dark – struggling,
in his wheelchair, struggling with his life.
It felt so real…
76
–
CHAPTER 4 –
Cloudy Judgement
Time was passing by slowly here, each day boringly
resembling the previous one.
The only prospect I had was movie night on
Fridays – at Maggy, Toby or Ben's. But I had to
confess Ben's apartment had been the most
impressive one. He had a lot of imagination, you
could grant him that.
Maybe it wasn't the only thing I was waiting
for…
Kellan hadn't escorted me anymore and our random
encounters were engraved on me as the most
embarrassing moments ever.
I had even bumped into him some days
before. I was talking to Maggy, looking back at her
and going for the elevator at the same time – big
mistake. Sorry… was all I had been able to say.
He hadn't even bothered speaking to me. But
I had felt his fingers on my arms, he had held me, to
prevent me from falling again.
I knew I needed to stop thinking about it. I
really did and it would pass like the rest.
I was spending my day with Wolf now. He
had never even tried to start a conversation though.
77
I was also getting used to watching violent
images.
Through meditating with Danian, I had
learned how to control my fear.
Moreover I had remained myself. Their
brainwashing wasn't working on me at all.
Nothing had been altered in my personality or
physical condition either.
They said powers could still awake but it had been
more than six weeks since my surgery and still
nothing. I couldn't run like Ben nor hunt like Wolf.
What was I still doing here then? I was wondering…
Should I worry about it?
Doctor Drest sure had enough confidence for us both.
It was the closest relationship I had to
friendship here. I had grown fond of Maggy and Ben
too but they were still so young. While Toby had
been the most distant of them three, Doctor Drest was
like the big sister I had never had. I had learned the
man in the photo was her brother, who had died in
Iraq. She had known grief and loss too. She had told
me she was seeing someone who understood it as
well. I was wondering who he was…
She also seemed genuinely worried about my
well-being here. She had stood up for me on several
occasions, asking Stern why I had been forced on
being here the first place. But she had been kept in
the dark and promised she would go on investigating.
How? I didn't know…But I had slowly started to
trust her.
78
"Listen. Change of plans for today." She had
caught my attention. "Miss Stern has asked me to try
another approach.
As it has been weeks now and the expected
effects of alternation haven't shown on you yet, I was
asked to inject you with this."
"What is it?" I asked inspecting the vial filled
with pinkish liquid.
"It is a powerful serum that will reveal your
powers. Or at least I hope it will…"
"Are you hoping or are you sure?"
"I can't predict it will be efficient a hundred
per cent. But it contains adrenalin and will hopefully
have the expected effect on you."
When she saw I didn't react, she added "I'm not
planning on forcing you to take it. If you don't want
to, I'll tell Stern we changed our mind…"
"I don't trust Stern, but I trust you. If you tell
me it can help, I say let's have a shot…" I smiled.
"Alright then. Sit down on the auscultation
chair. I'll be with you in a minute."
I was calmly watching her prepare a syringe
and the vial on a sterile green piece of cloth.
I had never been fond of needles but I knew we had
run out of options. I didn't want to stay here even
though I slowly started to feel at ease. What other
way than developing powers did I have to get the hell
out? Moreover without powers, my utility in Stern's
eyes would clearly diminish, and what would they do
with me then?
"Still sure?" Doctor Drest asked. I nodded.
"Okay." she finally said.
79
I felt a small pinch at the precise spot where she was
injecting me with the serum.
I waited.
Nothing.
I wasn't dizzy or sick. I was still myself.
"I don't think it worked, I'm not feeling…" I
stopped talking as a surge of dread quickly filled my
veins, and arteries – my whole body.
My heart started hammering, faster and faster, it was
ready to explode in my chest and acute pain was
blurring my vision. I started shaking.
"I…." I uttered.
I fell on the floor when I could hear a female voice
calling my name, checking my eyes with her small
torch. And suddenly, it stopped.
The pain had disappeared.
I could still feel my pulse racing but I sensed that I
could try to slowly open my eyes now. So I did.
In front of me, a blurred vision of Stern,
wearing her white cloak was openly laughing at me.
"I see you're still a useless little cunt. Well it's time
we got rid of you …" she said sniggering at the same
time.
Uncontrollable rage took over. She needed to
be dealt with, she was the reason I was trapped –
imprisoned – here, the enemy to destroy.
When I violently kicked her, I saw surprise in her
eyes. I then hit her face and she heavily fell on the
floor, further knocking her head.
"You gave me no choice. No one did." I
stripped her of her cloak and put it on.
I needed to act quickly.
80
I supposed the best way to get out of the premises
would be to take the elevator and get rid of everyone
in one way or another.
I knew Wolf would be waiting behind the door. I
needed to put him down first. I glanced back at the
tray and was getting closer to grab the syringe when I
felt someone behind me. Acute pain shot up my skull,
my ears started buzzing and a hundred stars blurred
my vision. I blacked out.
When I regained consciousness, my head was aching,
once more.
I was sitting on some metallic floor, my hands
tied to each other and further to a rope inserted in a
metal ring above my head.
Restrains again? Nothing new, I thought as I
recalled the events following my arrival here.
What …? Why did I land here?
I couldn't see anything and I didn't know where they
had taken me. This room didn't seem familiar and I
couldn't distinguish anything because of its reigning
darkness.
The only thing I remember was being with Dr.
Drest. What happened then?
I could taste blood in my mouth. The metallic
smell had even invaded my nose and my tongue. My
head was spinning sporadically at first then it became
so strong and lasting that I didn't know if it was the
room or my body that was suffering unbalance.
81
I threw up the meager breakfast my now empty
stomach had had that morning.
It felt like my body was enveloped in cotton. I
couldn't feel my legs, my eyelids were so heavy.
A concussion. You need to stay awake. I had
never suffered from it before but somehow my mind
knew what it was.
I was almost dropping off when an intense
light woke me up instantly. The door frame. I
thought.
"You badly injured one of my best doctors.
We have your best interests at heart, trust me, but
there are rules to follow here. You gave me no choice
but to restrain you."
Hearing her voice sent electric shocks
throughout my body. What was she talking about?
What did I do? I was now fully awake.
Ms. Stern was, once more, accompanied by
her two acolytes, Jeanne was still wearing her
devilish smile and her black gloves. Jared was
looking at me with murderous eyes.
"I am so disappointed. Why did you attack
Doctor Drest?" she asked me.
"I…I don't remember attacking her…I can't
have touched her, she is my friend…I swear…"
I was trying to understand what had happened. It
couldn't be…Was this another trick to manipulate
me? But what if I had really hurt Naome?
"What are we going to do with you?
Alteration hasn't worked on you obviously… It
wasn't supposed to end like this. I'm usually never
wrong…" Stern said.
82
"Wait, is Dr. Drest okay? Can I see her?" I
pleaded.
"Let me teach her a lesson" Jeanne suggested
with her French accent.
"No, let me..." finished Jared as he was
already getting near me. "She owes me one…" he
said, turning around to face Stern, asking for her
approval.
I knew he would want his revenge, but I
didn't know it would happen in such circumstances.
The only thing that could save me was buying some
time. I didn't think I could survive another blow.
"Hitting a defenseless girl? Well, that's playing
fair…" I muttered.
"You know what you're talking about. You're
everything but defenseless. I'll show you what it feels
like to be humiliated in front of an audience." Jared
finally said.
When no word came out of Stern's mouth, I
knew I had lost. So much for "Let's be more
humane" bullshit!
Jared was already squeezing his left hand into
a fist. I wouldn't beg for mercy, not to these people. I
was praying silently that he would be quick, so I
could see my parents again.
"No!" I heard. Kellan had barged into the
room. "Let me handle this," he said turning to Stern.
Kellan? What are you doing here?
He went on more composed now "You know
how long it took me to feel at home here. Let's give
her the benefit of the doubt. And I think I can help
her."
83
Of course Jared wouldn't give up on me so
easily. "If you think you can tame her Kellan, you're
more delusional than I thought."
Kellan continued as if he hadn't been cut off.
"You know I'm right. If you let Jared see this
through, you will lose what might be your best asset
here. It will also be a waste of your time and money.
You won't convince her to keep on cooperating by
using violence."
"Kellan, it's none of your …" Jeanne was
now trying to turn the conversation to her advantage.
"She's had enough." he finally said,
pretending not to have heard her.
"I'm not so sure, Kellan…" It was Stern this
time, with her frigid voice.
Why would she even listen to him?
I didn't understand why he had come here in the first
place.
"Let me supervise and train her. I'll make
sure she poses no threat. And once she's ready, you
can decide what you want to do with her." Kellan
added.
After what felt like an eternity, Stern
answered "I hope for your sake you're right. If you're
not, you'll both pay the price. Untie her and
accompany her back to her quarters. From now on
you'll be responsible for her every move…"
"But…"
"Do not contradict me, Jeanne. I made my
decision. Let's go." She turned around and exited the
room, followed by Jeanne who gave me a look of
disgust just before turning on her heels.
84
Jared hadn't moved an inch. He was staring at
his brother stiffed with icy rage. Kellan was staring
back, in a mute challenge to duel.
I knew I was far away from being out of
trouble and panic took the best of me. I felt like a
wild bird locked up in a cage too small to even spread
its wings. I was bending forward, trying to put all my
weight on my restraints, a desperate attempt to
control the situation, but nothing worked to calm me
down.
Kellan was standing in front of me.
I could trust him, couldn't I?
But how could I know he had told the truth and he
wouldn't try to get rid of me anyway?
Why would he even bother helping me?
He took a knife out of his left pocket.
Seeing Jared smiled again, I closed my eyes
and attempted to calm my nerves, I wouldn't face
death fearful if the time had come.
When I sensed Kellan close to me, when I felt his
hand still my arms, I felt his warmth and calm rushed
through my body. I wasn't scared anymore. I was
ready. Ready for what was next for me.
I was surprised to feel my knees touch the ground.
When I looked up, I saw Jared eyeing his
brother furiously.
Kellan was now helping me up, holding my
body. He put my arm around his neck and took my
hand in his. His arms were muscular and protective.
85
He didn't even seem to mind my smell, which must
have been acrid. He had probably guessed I wouldn't
be able to walk.
We were both moving forward.
I didn't say anything, afraid he might still
change his mind.
Jared was blocking the only way out. When
we were both facing him, he said "This isn't over, K.
She will pay for what she has done."
"Drop it Jared. We don't know for sure."
What the hell are they talking about?
"Fuck off!" he replied violently, then
disappeared into the hall, leaving us both behind.
My condition was slowing us down but I had to
admit I was in no hurry to go back to my room. Now
that I knew he had never intended to hurt me, being
in Kellan's arms was the only place where I had felt
safe since my arrival. I was stumbling every two
steps but he hadn't failed to hold me even tighter
every time, to prevent me from falling down and
getting hurt. I had never trusted anyone this way and
it scared me, maybe even more than the knowledge
of having no one to trust.
I could feel that the adrenalin hadn't left my
cells yet – they were keeping it like a dry sponge
retained water – my pulse was still racing and my
head painfully throbbing.
When we left the elevator on the sixth floor, I
whispered a few words "Th...Thank you."
86
"Don't thank me, we haven't reached your
door yet."
"Your brother...if you hadn't stopped him...
he would have…" The words seemed too difficult to
pronounce even if fifteen minutes before I had been
ready to accept the inevitable.
I was embarrassed at being so weak and fragile – and
added stinking on my mental list.
"Naome is in a bad shape. He wanted you to
feel the same, to experience what she's been through.
She is Jared's fiancée and one of the most decent
people in here."
If I had felt ill-at-ease two minutes before, it
was nothing compared to what I was feeling now.
"I'm so sorry I…I don't understand how…"
"I know" was all he added.
"Is she going to make it?" I asked deeply
sorry.
"Yeah, she is. She is pretty shaken though.
Stern says she doesn't recall what happened either…"
Had I messed up again? "I don't know if I can
trust anyone, myself included."
"Well, trust your intuition. What does it tell
you?"
This advice sounded vaguely familiar but I
was too confused to even start thinking about it.
I let my mind rest on my walk instead and remained
silent.
We had turned the last corner of the hall
before arriving in front of my loft, when I saw
Maggy, running to meet us.
87
Ben and Toby were still waiting in front of my
bedroom.
"What happened?" she asked almost out of
breath. "We waited for you at lunch and you never
showed up." She seemed genuinely worried.
Getting closer she saw my bruised face and realized
who was holding me.
She stepped back.
"I…" was all I could give as explanation.
"There was an incident and Wolf had to
intervene." Kellan explained.
So it had been Wolf. I was wondering what he
had used to knock me out. Well, maybe I had
deserved it.
"Oh, Faith…" she replied. "What can I do?"
she went on, her voice pleading.
"I...I guess I just need to rest for a while."
"I'll take it from here." she coldly addressed
Kellan. "Toby, Ben, give me a hand here."
They arrived running. Ben was next to me in
a second, indisputably faster than Toby.
Of course.
I sometimes forget about their ability.
"Seems that you could use a bath too…" said
Ben, mockingly taking a step backward.
"Ben, not now. Take her to her bedroom and
put her to bed." It was crystal clear as to who was in
charge with those boys. The thought made me smile.
Kellan hadn't said anything else, he just
removed his arm from my back and put mine around
Ben's. Toby then took my other arm to hold me.
88
I had had to reluctantly let go of Kellan's
warmth and strength to be led by two teenagers. But I
felt drained and didn't have the courage to protest.
When Ben and Toby had practically been
carrying me for what couldn't have been more than
ten steps, I tried to turn around to see Kellan.
All I could see was emptiness. He had gone and I
hadn't said anything.
Maggy must have interpreted my movement
as a sign of panic, because she quickly said "hurry
up, guys. She seems like she's going to pass out."
In front of my door, she tried to press the
square button on the right side of the frame but as
nothing happened, she added "Faith, we need your
fingerprint. You must have enhanced security, I can't
open the door."
Enhanced, how could I possibly have done
that?
She saw at my puzzled face that I didn't know
what she was talking about.
She interpreted my reaction rightly this time
by adding almost with a pinch of regret in her voice
"Your chip interprets all the data it receives. You
must be blocking entrance to your room to people
you don't trust."
I understood why she had sounded sad now.
I pressed my thumb on what seemed to be a different
shade of gray.
The door opened immediately.
I found the apartment just as I had left it, intact like in
my recollection.
They took me to my bedroom.
89
I was exhausted. I collapsed on my bed, not even
bothering to remove my shoes.
"Thanks boys, you can go now." Maggy
finished as she was undressing me slowly.
My struggle was over, I closed my eyes,
wishing it had all been a nightmare.
"Faith...Faith…" a man was whispering in my right
ear.
I tried to move my eyelids but they were too
heavy.
"Faith, do you hear me? I'm not going to hurt
you. I'm just checking up on you. Faith, do you trust
me?"
Half awake and half asleep, I felt him touch
my right arm under the blanket I had been covered
with. I winced as a sharp pain shot through my arm.
What is he doing in my bedroom? I thought as
darkness took me again.
I woke up peacefully, rested and focused on the task
at hand: surviving. My mind had never been so clear,
my body so responsive.
There was a bright light coming out of my
window and I could hear birds singing.
I got up, in my underwear and opened the
curtains. The view was breathtaking: a meadow full
of poppies and behind them, the sun was a strong
90
orange, ready to bright the day. Somehow this view
seemed vaguely familiar, like in a distant dream.
The only disappointment lay in the knowledge I had
that it was fake.
But my body didn't register anxiety nor gave
way to it.
I decided to take a quick trip to my bathroom
instead. I knew the way by heart.
When I entered, I quickly glanced at the mirror that
was in front of me and I opened the tap – that was
just under it – to splash some water on my face. I was
happy to see that some things were still working the
old way.
I glanced at my face more intently this time,
sensing that something had changed. I just didn't
know what. The only difference with yesterday was
my reflection: no bruise, no bump, nor shadows
under my eyes.
Then it hit me.
I had healed.
I looked at my wrists, no marks.
No headache, no soreness, no blood in my mouth
either.
Strange.
How is it possible?
I had no time to dwell on it.
Escape plans were already forming in my head. This
had gone too far.
I had to put an end to this insane experiment. I was
ready to take them all on, Stern, Jared, Jeanne and
everyone else standing in my way.
91
I was ready to do anything, I was ready to do
everything.
But first I needed to freshen up.
I saw the familiar circular shape next to my mirror. I
pressed it thinking of boots and a green shirt with
matching pants.
Ten seconds later I was clean, dressed and leaving
the bathroom.
I gave a last glance at the image of this most
cherished place and my front door gave way to a
sight I would have gladly avoided; Wolf giving me a
gloomy look, waiting for me, his hands in his
pockets, his back and his left shoe sole leaning on the
wall opposite.
Yet another change: strangely and despite
what had happened, I wasn't scared of him. I didn't
care about him or what he might do to me. And he
could know it. "My favorite person in the whole
world. It's so great to see you." I swaggered about,
greeting him sarcastically. I wasn't ready to admit it
to him but I was also grateful for he had maybe
stopped me in time.
I recognized surprise on his face, but as usual,
he didn't say anything.
Instead he made a forty-five-degree turn and started
leading the way to the entrance of the elevator.
After a five-minute walk to last corner of this
lugubrious hall, I could distinguish the light of an
open door at the end of it.
Still following Wolf, I kept up the pace to see what it
was. He didn't seem to slow down, but on the
contrary seemed to be in a hurry.
92
When I arrived near the bright frame, I slowly
turned my head on the side to glance at what Wolf
apparently wanted to avoid.
Then, I saw her.
With him.
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as I was
crushed by the vision of Jeanne's arms around
Kellan, a grin on her face, when she turned around to
look straight at me.
Kellan's hands were holding hers.
He seemed as surprised to see me as I was.
I quickly looked down and went on walking
pretending nothing had happened.
I tried to speed up to catch up with my jailer.
Honestly, what was I expecting? He hadn't
said anything, he had just bought some time so I
could become Stern's puppet when I was ready. But
Jeanne. That was what was bugging me the most, or
was it? Why her? She was just so cruel and perfectly
cold or coldly perfect (I was still hesitating between
both). I couldn't picture them together without
feeling disgusted.
I was walking even faster now, and entered
the elevator, trying to leave behind what I had just
witnessed. But I couldn't.
When I was inside, I risked a backward
glance at the hall and saw Kellan.
He was running to us, calling my name, asking me to
wait.
I pressed the button to go to the dining room
and looked down again pretending I hadn't heard
anything.
93
I didn't want to register Wolf's presence and
apparently he didn't either for we were both looking
at our feet, waiting for the elevator to come to a halt.
My reaction to what I had witnessed was
embarrassing enough, let alone showing it to anyone,
so I really appreciated his silence for once.
As soon as the doors turned translucent, I was
ready to hurry down, hoping to meet Maggy and her
crew when Wolf held my right arm tightly and said
"I'll be waiting for you in thirty minutes to escort you
for your doctor's appointment. Don't be late."
And he left me behind, aghast.
Trying to find my composure, I was slowly
advancing in the dining room when I spotted Maggy
at a table on the left. They were at least forty people
in the dining room – staff members I barely
recognized – eating and talking animatedly. The
decoration was totally different from last time. The
walls were a mix of apple green and white today,
with vases full of lilies, on every table, spreading
their smell everywhere – artificial smell. The
windows were displaying wide grass plains – the
picture that may emerge thinking about breakfast on
a farmyard in the American Midwest.
When they saw me, all the conversations
stopped, everyone turned around to observe me with
contempt, making their chair legs grate the new
metallic floor.
I had felt uncomfortable at the news of
Naome's state, but I was dying from shame at that
moment.
94
"Sit down with us Faith." Maggy's voice was
defying everyone's silent protest.
"Hi Maggy, hi guys." I said.
I was thankful for her trust and fearless
temper.
People started talking to each other again.
"You seem…different today" was the
sentence Ben greeted me with.
"Nothing like beauty sleep" I added.
"Are you okay?" Maggy was still preoccupied
by my health.
"I'm better, thanks."
"You were in such a bad shape yesterday. I
was really afraid you wouldn't be able to walk
anymore." she added.
"It seemed worse than it really was. Don't
worry about me. But thanks for your help, you too
guys."
"Strange, you don't even have any bruise
left…" It was Toby this time, always noticing things
he wasn't supposed to, I imagined.
"I'm a fast healer." I answered, sensing again
what I had this morning – I was different.
Something must have happened, this fast healing
process wasn't normal at all. Maybe this was it, the
result of my alteration?
This would be convenient, as if nature itself had
known I was clumsy.
I smiled inwardly.
I opted for a change of subject "What is with all the
flowers? It wasn't at all decorated like this
yesterday."
95
"Lilies are Dr. Drest's favorites" Toby broke
off. "It's our way of telling her that we think about
her."
I was mortified.
"I'm sure she will be better soon." Maggy
was once more trying to reassure me.
As I was standing, Maggy looked at me
quizzically, so I felt the need to explain "I'm
starving, do you need anything?" but I had already
left for the buffet without waiting for their answers.
Muffins and coffee? That would certainly cheer me
up. I took a plate and was about to help myself when
someone grabbed my left arm.
"We need to talk." It was Kellan, his voice icy
cold, still holding my arm.
"Let go of me, I have nothing to say to you."
Why was I so angry? This was the guy who had
saved me the night before. The least I could do was
being polite. What was more, I was also short of
friends for the moment.
But how could I be nice to the guy who was dating
Jeanne? How could he be with her in the first place?
"Let's go!" Kellan was still holding me by the
arm, now pulling me with him to the elevator. I was
struggling but he was too strong. His grip tightened at
each attempt of escaping him.
I saw Maggy standing, not knowing what to
do. She too was now struggling, against Toby,
who was restraining her, holding her two arms and
silencing her with an extremely dark look.
96
All this happened quickly, I could see people
smiling at Kellan – certainly hoping for retaliation for
what I had done to Naome. No one dared do
anything, no one said a word. They were just staring
contently at us, thinking that I deserved what Kellan
had planned to make me endure.
Wolf was still guarding the elevator door.
Instead of remaining silent like he used to, he was the
only one who said something while gripping Kellan's
free wrist "I was asked to escort her."
Not seemingly alarmed by this, Kellan simply
answered "Not anymore. Check it with Stern."
Of all the people present in the dining room, Wolf
was the only one eyeing Kellan furiously. But I had
this strong feeling that it had nothing to do with me.
Kellan released me when we were alone in the
elevator.
"Stop fighting everyone who wants to help!"
he said out of breath, almost angrily.
"Why don't you run back to creepy blondie
and leave me alone?" Maybe I wasn't strong enough
to fight him but I wouldn't let him treat me like this.
"How are you feeling?" he asked out of the
blue.
I was caught off guard by his question but I
was determined to make it difficult for him. I opted
for the silence treatment.
"Answer my question."
"Why do you want to know?" I asked.
"Just answer the damn question."
97
"I'm fine, why?" I answered, as furious as he
was.
"I'm responsible for your training, I need to
know when we can start."
He wanted to beat the hell out of me,
possibly, but I sensed this wasn't the only reason.
"We'll begin right after your appointment
then."
The door melted away and I realized I hadn't
paid attention to the floor number while exiting the
elevator but I recognized the color on the walls.
Kellan kept on talking while leading the way.
"You will have the same routine every day: breakfast
at nine, appointment with Professor Bochi at nine-
thirty, then training till lunch time. In the afternoon,
we'll train your fighting skills. We'll finish every day
with one hour swimming. You will have to do what I
say when I say it or I'll let my brother do whatever
the hell he wants to do to you. Understood?"
I nodded.
"Do you have any question?"
"No Sir!" I replied, mocking him.
"Then go on, it's the second room on the
right. I'll be waiting for you right here."
"Wait, I do have a question. How is Naome?
Is she better? Can I see her?" I asked seriously this
time.
"She is being debriefed at the moment. Jared
should be next to see her."
"If you talk to her, will you tell her that I'm
sorry?"
98
I still didn't recall what I had done to Naome, but one
thing was certain, I sorely missed her. And with that
request, I hesitantly approached the star shape on the
right and glanced at Kellan, unsure of where I was
supposed to push.
He nodded.
Brown-eyed gray-haired Professor Bochi was in his
sixties. He seemed serious and cold – in the exact
image of his hostess. At least it was what he looked
like in the photos all over his office walls – posing
with men in suits, and other men in white I didn't
recognize.
But he wasn't alone in his office. A beautiful
assistant was present, apparently to brighten his days
or his mood for she hadn't stopped smiling since I
entered. "Please sit down, Professor Bochi will be
with you in a minute…" she said from her white
desk.
I sat down on the brown sofa in front of her.
This office was huge and made of three smaller
rooms all linked to each other by tinted glass. Each
wall was decorated with three brown stripes
separating bigger beige ones.
Professor Bochi's secretary was everything
you would expect a secretary to be; blonde,
manicured and wearing a beige suit matching her
surroundings. I noticed her earphone displayed a
green light when she subsequently added "He's ready
for you. First room."
99
I stood up and followed her instructions. The
glass panel disappeared when I faced it, entirely
opening the space in front of me.
"Please sit down on the auscultation chair."
The door turned opaque again.
Professor Bochi was giving his orders without
even looking at me. "I'll start with your wound."
I could see and hear him put on
protective gloves from the leather chair. The tools
were exactly the same as in Doctor Drest's office.
"You're in for disappointment, there is
nothing left." I said.
"Let me see that for myself, will you?" And
with this last remark, he silenced me totally for the
rest of the appointment. He put on surgical gloves
like Naome had done for the past weeks and started
his checkup.
"I see" was all he said after checking my head.
"Did you have any other scar that might have
disappeared as well?"
"No…" was all I replied.
"Any more headaches?"
"Not since I was hit on the head, no" I was
now openly making fun of him but he stayed
impassive.
"Yes, your chip recorded acute pain. Did you
receive any medication yesterday, painkillers, in any
form whatsoever?"
"You mean pills?"
"Yes, that, or injections?"
"Not that I recall…" Saying this, I
spontaneously flexed my right arm.
100
It had to mean something for Professor Bochi
immediately checked it, turning my hand from left to
right and vice versa. He used the same procedure
with the left one and finished this checkup by saying
"Well, it's inconclusive for the moment but ...you
could be our next healer."
I could be what?
My question remained unanswered as
Professor Bochi was now pointing at a chair in front
of his desk. "That will be it. Please have a seat over
there."
I felt uncomfortable in this cold, modern
chair, waiting for this stranger to analyze me some
more.
"As you are well aware, we are to meet every
day at the same time, to register any alteration in your
condition. Your chip is still sending information that
I can use, so if there is any major modification, I will
know it."
"Did my chip record anything on the day I
was with Doctor Drest?" I asked him.
"That will be it. You may go now."
Who did he think he was? What I wouldn't do
to have Naome in front of me again…
I was in a hurry to get out of here. I just stood up and
left without pronouncing a single sound, going across
the protective glass, accelerating while passing the
secretary who fixed me with her beatific smile.
This whole experience had been unpleasant like
every single one of them since I had arrived at this
facility.
101
This was a real nightmare and I hoped I would wake
up soon, having had my share of insanity and
humiliation for a lifetime.
I found Kellan where I had left him. My face
must have betrayed me for he had the courtesy of
asking me about the appointment. "Everything
okay?"
"I don't want to talk about it" I answered
blushing, immediately stopping the conversation. I
decided to avoid his gaze.
"As you want. Let's go to the gym, then.
Follow me."
We were on the seventh floor, the walls not differing
from the rest of the facility that was so dark.
Kellan led the way to a square room, entirely
gloomy except for the light coming out of the
metallic floor. There was a sort of a gray rubber band
in the middle of the room.
"We're going to start slowly, and increase your
stamina. You will start by running thirty-five minutes
today, forty tomorrow and you will go to an hour
every day."
"I've never been a good runner…"
"Good, bad, it's all relative. Running is just a
matter of perseverance and will." he assured me.
"Wait, I'm not even dressed properly" I
quickly said, almost already out of breath.
"It doesn't matter. Stand here" he added
indicating the square band in front of me.
102
When I was ready, he added "Now close your eyes
and focus. Breathe in, breathe out. Picture some calm
and quiet place. Somewhere you've been to, some
place where you can feel free."
Easier said than done. I thought. How could I
feel free when I was imprisoned here for no reason?
If my mum had been there, she would have told me
to be patient and to wait for the right moment. She
would have taken me for a walk and we would have
talked for hours to find a solution, she would have
listened and understood.
"Alright, open your eyes now."
"How…?" I was speechless. It was exactly
like I remembered. The pier and waterfront, protected
by the majestic white and red striped lighthouse,
warning the boats to stay away from the shore, the
sand dunes enveloping it, breaking waves on the
beach. I could smell the sea and feel the wind on my
face. I could hear seagulls fighting over a mussel on
my right and boat engines roaring while leaving the
harbor and waves behind.
I had known this place my entire childhood but had
never dared come back after their accident. This
place was too connected to them even though it was
full of happy memories. Newport had witnessed the
best of my holidays, my eternal walks on the beach
and our ice-cream breaks but it also held the sharp
reminder of what I had lost.
"Your chip can only materialize places you
know well. The runner will adapt to your speed", he
explained pointing at what I remembered was the
gray band under my feet.
103
"It's not a usual landscape" he further said,
disguising his question.
"It's in Europe. I used to go there every
summer with my parents" was all I could say.
"Now try to find your rhythm, start slowly
then accelerate a little bit."
"But I'm not…" Then I realized my outfit
was adequate for running, as I was wearing a pair of
sneakers, a blue sleeveless shirt and dark blue shorts.
This instant wardrobe was proving time-saving, plus
I had never liked shopping. I smiled to myself.
I followed Kellan's instructions, as he was running
next to me in this timeless landscape, where the trees,
flowers and plants of the nearby park were
dissipating like smoke when you touched them.
Everything seemed so real, that I risked venturing on
the pier and back.
Kellan rarely broke our silent running, except
with more instructions "Faster... Breathe out deeply...
Find your own pace…"
I didn't protest even though I didn't like being
bossed around. I thought I couldn't run and talk at the
same time anyway.
After thirty-five minutes sharp, he said
"Alright, slow down now. Let's walk for ten minutes.
How did it feel?"
"Alright, I guess."
"We need to stretch before your next training.
Raise your arms, as high as you can. Try to stand on
your tiptoes. Hold this position as long as you can.
104
Okay, stand straight, feet touching each other. Now
raise your arms again, this time try to touch your feet
without flexing your knees. Good."
Good? It was his first word of encouragement
since we had started training.
"Why don't you tell me about them?" he
asked, continuing his stretching exercises.
"About whom?" I answered standing up and
totally startled by his question.
"Your parents…" he insisted.
I went on stretching as well because I didn't want
him to see my grief.
"Well, they died, there is nothing much to
tell."
"How did they die?"
Now that was enough, he was going too far.
"Why do you want to know?" I replied angrily.
"You lost them both at the same time…"
"How do you know they died together?" I
retorted.
"I read your file..." was all he said.
"You did what?"
"Stern has a file on all of us. She gave it to me
when I took responsibility for you."
"If you know the answer, why do you ask the
question?" I said matter-of-factly.
"Touché" was all he could reply.
I was pissed at him for reading my personal
data, but Kellan had been the only one who stood up
for me, so I added "They died coming back home
105
with our Christmas tree. It was our family tradition –
the three of us decorating a real tree.
The whole apartment would smell of pine. We would
wrap all the presents we had bought for each other
and give them on the twenty-fifth as soon as we got
up."
After a short break I continued "They were so selfless
and generous that they would also buy presents for
our neighbors or my school mates and invite over
those who were alone that day. They raised me as
their own daughter even though they could have
enjoyed their time together, without me. They
adopted me when I was still young." I was smiling,
recalling these events. "My mum had foreseen a huge
party for my graduation." Recalling her kindness was
too difficult, so I tried to concentrate on the facts
instead.
"I refused to go buying that damned tree, I was too
busy being selfish. So they did it. Apparently they
were driving too fast on their way back home and lost
control of their vehicle. It should have been me in
that fucking car… I killed them…"
I continued "And you know what the worst part is?
Such decent people died the worst of deaths; their
engine caught fire after the impact and they burnt,
stuck in their car."
That will silence him for a while, I thought to myself.
"I'm sorry…" he replied after two minutes.
That was the last thing I expected from him.
So he has a heart… Touché! I further thought.
"Don't be. You didn't put snow on the road that day,
and you certainly didn't light the fire."
106
"No, I mean, I'm sorry it hurt you so much."
And just like this all my anger turned into
gratefulness, for him and what he had said, his
honesty for telling me about the file and for
understanding what I had been through.
"Let's go back to work" he had brought me
back to reality, all formal again.
"I would like you to close your eyes. But this time,
imagine a bike, as light as a feather, convenient on all
kinds of surfaces – mountains, hills, rocks…"
I did as I was told.
"Perfect. Now open your eyes."
Was it the chip? One thing was certain, it was
really convenient. I found myself sitting on the
comfortable saddle of a gray bike with black tires, it
was like sitting on a sofa.
And there passed our second training, a forty-five
minute ride, in my past and in silence except for the
usual words of advice. Maybe there was not much to
tell about my life anymore, or maybe I was too
stunned by his change of mood every two minutes, or
I didn't trust him enough yet to ask him personal
questions. But I could sense that something had
shifted between us and that he wasn't at all the
unemotional prick he pretended to be.
Somehow this morning had passed at the speed of
light. I had had the time to shower in the training
room and I was famished.
107
We were both back in the dining room when
Kellan said "There is something I need to do. Let's
meet in an hour – on the seventh floor."
"Wait, are you going to see Naome? Can I go
with you?" I tried.
The elevator door turned opaque, carrying
Kellan with it before he could answer.
Well, that was new; leaving me alone in the
premises after what happened? Let's make the most
of it I thought.
The scenery had been the same since the
morning but I was surprisingly getting used to the
awkward looks and whispers of the people around
me. In fact, it almost felt like high school again, too
straightforward and uncompromising to be popular. I
smiled inwardly.
Still decided to ignore their smirks, I went
straight to the buffet table. Fish day? Great for a
vegetarian... I was decorating my plate with all the
colors of a rainbow – beetroot, cabbage, lemon, corn,
tomatoes and all sorts of sauces.
But suddenly I heard "Isn't that Wonder
Woman? Shouldn't you be training to save us all?"
Jeanne said with her self-satisfied smirk. Still
wearing a black mini skirt, she was probably trying to
provoke me.
I wouldn't let her win this time. "What's your
problem?" I asked.
"What's my problem?" she repeated. "My
problem is that you and your useless ass are looting
the whole food supply and we won't have anything
else to eat.
108
But I understand, beating up people certainly whets
your appetite! You must be starving, you bitch."
That was it, I had had enough. Not responding
to provocation was one thing but she had crossed a
limit, I wouldn't let her insult me. "Well, at least I'm
not the one dressing like a slut just to draw attention."
That should shut her up I thought.
As I turned back to the buffet, willing to
ignore her, I had only had the time to notice that she
had grasped a glass to throw its content at my face.
Trying to limit the damage, I protected it with my
right hand when I felt a warm wind blowing.
As I expected my hair to be full of juice, I was
surprised to realize it was dry and, my clothes too. I
opened my eyes to see what had happened.
Maggy was on my right, both her arms
stretched out in front of her and Jeanne was
thundering forth, calling her names.
"If you don't want all the glasses of this room
emptied on your face, I suggest you calm down and
don't bother us again."
"She had it coming" Jeanne finished.
Then I saw her taking her tray and leaving us
to sit down at a table, alone. "What was that? I didn't
know you were so…powerful…" I said to Maggy.
"I just turned juice into steam, nothing
extraordinary." She went on "Why was Jeanne so
pissed at you?"
"Well, now she is pissed at both of us…"
"Don't worry, I've never liked her anyway,
she is so full of herself…" She was trying to reassure
me.
109
"I think it has something to do with me…
training with Kellan."
"And what sort of training are you referring
to?" she asked smiling.
We both burst into laughter, not paying
attention to our suspicious surroundings.
"What are you having?" she further asked.
"Shrimp salad, without the shrimps" I
answered.
"Yum, it seems good. I'll have some too."
When she was all set, she headed for the table at the
far end of the room where Toby and Ben were
already devouring their lunch. I followed her.
"What was that all about?" asked Ben when
we both sat down in front of him.
"Nothing really, Jeanne being her usual
bitch." Maggy joked.
"You're right, it's nothing new!" he
answered. "How is Mister Universe?" Ben asked,
turning to me now.
"Who are you talking about?"
"Are you kidding me? Even Jeanne is trying
to put her hands all over him when she has the
chance." It was Toby this time, all serious, lifting up
his head, looking straight at me from the opposite
side of the table.
"Well, I don't know about you Ben but I need
more than a few muscles to get all excited…"
I replied to the comment, looking back at Toby.
"Well-said, sister! I totally agree, let's add a
good tan, and we have a winner" said Ben, laughing.
Toby looked away.
110
What's his problem? My eyes asked Maggy's.
She answered by shrugging her shoulders.
Then she changed the subject "Are you ready for
tonight?"
Tonight? What is so special about tonight?
"We could all meet in front of elevator
number two at... around seven?"
"Let's say seven thirty, I need to practice
some new moves" said Ben.
"Whatever…" Toby added.
"What are you all talking about?" I finally
decided to ask.
Maggy answered this time "Do you know
which day it is today?"
"I don't have a clue." I had forgotten to check
my board this morning, as usual.
"We are on the fourth...July the fourth…"
Already? ... Keep track of time, keep track of
time ...Independence Day...I thought as I remembered
my History class with Ms. Tollet. I knew it meant a
big celebration but I wasn't exactly sure what we
would be able to do at the bottom of the ocean.
"Faith, is seven thirty okay for you?" asked
Maggy.
"I'm not sure it's a good idea…considering
what happened…" I replied.
"Don't be ridiculous. If you don't show up, it
will give people another incentive to talk about
you…"
"I don't know…"
"Come on…" Ben further insisted.
111
"Okay, I guess. What's the dress code?" I
asked.
"I'm going for sexy but comfortable" said
Maggy.
"Alright, I'll see what I can do…" and I
smiled.
"Okay. I hope I can be ready on time…" she
added, "I've got training the whole afternoon."
"The whole afternoon?" I ventured.
"Of course, I need to improve my alteration
skills if I want to be able to serve the country."
"Looks like you can manage alright …" I
added.
"It's not enough, we need to progress. People
are dying everywhere and we can do something about
it. "
Stern must have given her the same speech.
How can you convince such an innocent girl to spoil
her life? What about these guys? They didn't even
flinch. Are they ready to sacrifice their life too?
They're so young. I need to get out of here and fast
or they will have their way and I couldn't imagine
giving them what they wanted.
Patience, patience.
I need to calm down and wait for the right moment.
Yes, the right moment.
"Who's training with you?" It occurred to me that I
didn't know anything about other trainers.
"We all have personal trainers and doctors"
said Toby. "Except for you and Jared.
You share the same doctor and a lot of other things,
as I see it", he added smiling.
112
"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked
angrily, I really didn't like his tone.
"It means you both share a true fascination for
his brother…"
"What?" I asked puzzled.
"Sorry to tell you that Jeanne beat you to it!"
he continued.
"Stop it!" I said so loudly than everyone
turned around to look at us.
"Hey, don't kill the messenger" he pleaded
his hands up. "Don't give up hope, you have a lot in
common with Jeanne. You're both attention seekers
and I'm not the only one who thinks that way."
"Toby, shut up. You don't know what you're
talking about!" Maggy said.
"If you want to take my place, Toby, be my
guest. I've never asked for any of this." I replied.
"Bullshit! And your powers, nothing so far,
really?" he said, standing up and taking his tray. "I
don't know what all the fuss is about, you're
probably not worth it." Turning to Maggy, he added
"Wake up guys! Life goes on…"
"Toby, what's come over you?" asked
Maggy, glancing at him incredulously.
"You're all so full of shit." Having said that,
he left the table and sat down at Jeanne's,
on the opposite corner. I looked at Ben and Maggy,
not knowing what to say.
"Never mind him!" Ben said while Maggy's
eyes were watering.
113
I decided to intervene. "I'm sorry Maggy. The
last thing I wanted was to make you cry. I'm gonna
go now."
"No, stay!" she pleaded, taking my sleeve and
forcing me to sit down again. "It has nothing to do
with you. Please, don't go. Toby wants… something
I can't give him. That's all."
"Oh" was all I could say. "He'll get over it,
you'll see." After two seconds, I realized that it may
have sounded a bit harsh. "Not that I'm implying he
can easily get over you, that's not what I meant...I'm
sure it takes a long time...but it will pass quickly.
Jeez, sorry... It's none of my business…" I was trying
to justify myself when I saw Maggy smiling, then
bursting into laughter, followed by Ben. I surrendered
too.
"Oh girl, we have to work on your people
skill..." Ben added and we laughed even more.
Everyone was looking at us but we didn't
care. We went on pretending there were just the three
of us in the dining room that day.
"What time is it?" I finally asked.
Ben answered by pointing at the clock on the
wall, still laughing.
"I need to go now or I'll be late. See you
guys, at seven thirty then?"
"See you." they both said at the same time.
Kellan wasn't there when I arrived at our
meeting point.
114
What is he doing?
After what seemed like five minutes I decided to go
exploring the floor. But soon I realized that I was
totally lost for I had discovered it this morning for the
first time; here again there was no door, no entrance
to no room whatsoever, no noise, no life.
I rested a little bit, leaning on the wall when I heard
some footsteps. The sound was faint at first then
growing louder.
"Hello? Who's there?" I asked several times.
There was no answer. I could hear steps even more
clearly now. Panic started gripping me, my throat,
accelerating my heartbeat.
I was alone, felt exposed and totally defenseless. I
started running into the opposite direction in the hope
of finding back the elevator. My breath was coming
in short gasps now as I was slowly giving way to
panic. I risked a last glance behind, not knowing what
was in front of me when I violently hit something or
someone. I quickly turned around, pressing my hand
against my left temple. Another bruise certainly.
"Faith? What's going on?" It was Kellan.
"Someone is following me…" I said trying to
catch my breath.
"Stay here." he demanded.
"No! Don't leave me alone!" I shouted. I
caught his sleeve and added "Let's go. It's probably
nothing. Please. Forget it."
And for once he listened to me.
We had found our way back to the training
room but it had nothing to do with the place I
recalled.
115
The boxing ring that had just appeared dispelled any
doubt as to the nature of my training.
"Okay. Let's start." he commanded.
"Wait, I need to change…" I said
embarrassed.
"Don't worry, the gym is reactive to my chip
now. Just stand on the gray band here and close your
eyes, it will know what you need to wear."
I followed Kellan's instructions and was
ready in less than two minutes. I was wearing red
shorts, a white shirt with black boxing gloves, and
my hair in a ponytail. I felt ready but nothing could
have prepared me for such an extensive training.
"What is this place?" I asked. This gym
smelled of sweat and blood, with wooden floor and
very small windows that were so dirty and so high
that we couldn't catch sight of anything outside. The
ring was imposing in this enclosed space.
"It's the place where I used to train, a long
time ago, in another life." he answered.
"Where was it?"
"New York" was his final answer and I didn't
dare ask for more.
He came to stand in front of me.
I was feeling my heart pounding. Why was I
so nervous?
"We're going to start with your stance. There
are some rules you need to follow. You're right-
handed I think?"
"Yes…"
116
"Alright. Both feet on the floor, try to
distribute your weight across both legs. Hands up,
elbows down. Here, let me show you."
As he was helping me find the right posture I
could feel tension in my arms on every part of skin he
touched. I had never experienced anything like this
before. It was like waiting for the next shot of
adrenalin, so full of promise and excitement at the
same time.
"Hold your head behind your gloves, chin
slightly down. You need to be able to see over your
gloves. Breathe!" he gave as last word of advice.
"Easy for you to say. It's a lot of information
at the same time. I've never done any of this before."
"Relax. It will come naturally after a while.
To go forward or left, step with your left foot first
and then drag the right foot after."
Keep your eyes off him, keep your eyes off
him!
"To go backward or right, step with your right
foot first and then drag the left foot after."
"Like this?"
"Yes, exactly. This is the basic boxing
footwork. It ensures that your weight is grounded and
that you are always ready to attack or defend
yourself."
Oh Gosh, please don't let my eyes betray me.
"Now, to throw punches, you need to
remember one thing; exhale as you throw the punch
and make sure your other hand protects the rest of
your body…Try on my hands. One, two. One, two."
Don't think, don't think. Empty your mind.
117
"Good, now on the bag. Again! This time
tighten your fist at impact. Like this!"
"Okay" I timidly answered.
"All boxing punches are in fact a variation of
straight punches; for hook punches you simply hold
your elbow sideways, for uppercut punches, you keep
your elbow down..."
As Kellan was explaining all the basic rules
of this sport, I could see his eyes alight with
excitement and knowledge which rendered him even
more alluring.
What is wrong with you? Stop it!
"...and don't forget to finish with your feet at
the same distance."
I needed to turn my thoughts to something else than
his torso if I wanted to remember anything.
"Now let's try some combinations…"
I kept on practicing the moves he had taught
me, again and again for two hours, with and without
the heavy bag.
Nothing could stop my mind from preying on him.
Oh my Gosh, I'm falling for him.
I'm falling for Kellan?
"Here take another sip." he said, handing me my
bottle of water, after a shower in our separate tubes.
I had gone for regular clothes this time –
black shirt, jeans with black thong sandals.
"How come you managed to make bottles and food
appear out of nowhere?"
118
It was better to turn my mind to practical matters
instead of letting it wander and then end up focusing
on what I had sworn to forget from now on.
"There is a fridge in this room, I didn't make
anything appear." He smiled. "Even if I wish I
could…"
But my curiosity was far from being satisfied.
"When my chip was reactive, and we were running,
everything turned into smoke at my touch. Why?"
"Your chip allows your brain to give you the
illusion that you are somewhere else, but it cannot
create more space than was offered at the start. And
your vision was blurry at first because your mind
wasn't used to being tricked yet or your memory of
that place was too hazy to give clear images.
Remember the gray band? We are still standing on it,
it is moving when we think about moving, turning
when we think about turning. Your chip just
interprets the information it receives and transcripts it
in 4D images."
I wasn't convinced. "You said the chip cannot
create more space, what about my apartment? I slept
in a small room on the day I arrived and it expanded
the next day."
"It didn't expand, it was just an optical
illusion. Trust me, your apartment has always been
that big." he explained.
"How do you know so much about this
place?" I wondered.
"I've been here for a while and I know the
right person to ask …."
119
"Have you seen Naome?" I asked out of the
blue.
"No one has, Stern's orders… But I'm sure
she's feeling better already. Don't worry. Ready for
your last activity?"
"Yes, I guess…"
It was so strange, I had never been the athletic type
but somehow, after all this training, even though I
could feel my muscles had been working all day, they
weren't sore at all. I was hungry for more.
"This is the funny part. Watch!" he added.
I couldn't believe it, in front of me different shades of
blue were slowly forming to depict the clear picture
of a vast ocean. My feet were tickling with the
feeling of water washing them. All around us pure
white sand was invading the rest of the landscape
with palm trees disparately organized alongside the
beach. The soft breeze on my face was refreshing.
"Where are we?" I asked him, not recognizing
this landscape nor its milky whiteness.
"I used to come here as a child. We're in
Daytona. Well, we're not technically there but you
know what I mean."
"I feel the sun on my skin and the water at my
feet, how is that possible?"
"There is an actual tank of salty water in this
room, with a strong current, to give the impression of
swimming forward when you go deeper in the water.
Another perk for taking part in this program I guess,
you can go on holiday whenever you want." He
smiled, but this time, at me.
120
I couldn't think of anything else than him, his
warm eyes, his hands, on me... It made me so
ashamed that I started watching my feet. At this point
I was made aware that I was wearing a black
swimming suit with a plunging neckline and lace at
the top. I started blushing.
"I hope you don't mind, I thought you
wouldn't have fancied a flashy bikini."
I remained mute.
"Let's go! Two more hours" he said breaking
the awkward silence.
I ran in the water and dived to cover my body
as quickly as possible.
"See you tonight?" I asked Kellan before he could
disappear around the corner.
"Yes, I'll meet you there."
"Great." After two seconds I called his name
"Kellan?"
He reappeared.
"Thank you for today. You made me feel...
normal again…"
"You're... welcome…" he answered smiling,
leaving the hall for good this time.
Before entering my apartment I wanted to check
something. I concentrated, thinking about the bunk
bed I had been sleeping on and the room it had been
in.
My door opened and I was back in the bunker I had
slept in for my first night here.
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I needed to see for myself what Kellan had meant by
optical illusion.
I touched the wall, starting by the corner near the
door and arrived near the bed.
So far everything was normal but when I arrived at
the end of the bed, my hand only met emptiness. It
was so strange, my eyes could see a wall that didn't
exist. The room was giving way to another one
without me ever noticing.
Clever I thought.
I closed my eyes again and thought about home.
–
CHAPTER 5 –
A Light in the Dark
122
Tonight, the board mentioned:
4th July
7 p.m. meeting point 9
th
floor.
5th July
9'30 a.m. Dr. Bochi,
10'30 - 12'30 training 1
1'30-3'30 fighting
4'00-6 p.m. training 2
6th July
9'30 a.m. Dr. Bochi,
10'30 - 12'30 training 1
1'30-3'30 fighting
4'00-6 p.m. training 2
6'24, I have more or less an hour to get ready. More
than enough!
I went into the bathroom, decided to rinse my salty
skin and pressed on the circular shape to take my last
shower of the day. When I was ready, I opted for the
classical black dress but it was too long.
Maybe a little bit shorter, with some cleavage,
but not too much?
The sewing machine was once more following the
exact mental picture I had of the perfect dress.
More glitter. I was now wearing a beautiful
sparkling necklace, with matching earrings in the
shape of tears and my dress was encrusted with small
diamonds.
Too much with the diamonds. My dress had
turned to pure black again but this time my hair was
up, held by a tiara.
Better. I thought.
Wait, too much fabric at the back...
I had now the perfect cleavage at the front and a low
cut at the back with high heels.
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I was ready.
Only make up was missing.
Let's try it. I thought.
I pictured an old photo of Audrey Hepburn I had on
my journal back home.
The tube reappeared and when I checked in the
mirror, it had drawn smoky eyes with a small line of
eyeliner.
Okay.
Now the only thing to do was waiting for Maggy.
At seven thirty sharp and after forty-five minutes of
ceaseless walk in my living room to calm my nerves,
I decided to go waiting outside.
Maggy was already there, escorted by Ben.
She was wearing a gorgeous sparkly dress, imprinted
with the American flag. Her hair was held in a bun
and she was wearing marvelous blue and red earrings
perfectly matching her dress.
Ben was totally overdressed with a shiny dark
blue tuxedo and a hat, resembling Uncle Sam's on his
war propaganda poster We want you. Of course Toby
was a no-show.
"Waooo Faith, you look...you're
breathtaking…" she complimented me.
"Thanks Maggy. You look amazing too" was
all I could say. "Ben, I see you surpassed yourself
again" I added chuckling.
"Wait till you see me for New Year's Eve!"
he answered winking at me.
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New Year? I can't stay here till New Year!
It's in six months! How can they agree to go on living
like that? Haven't they realized real life is outside
this prison? Don't they have any hopes or dreams for
themselves?
"Ladies, shall we?" Ben added, taking a bow
and presenting me with his hand. I took it gratefully
as we were heading for the party.
Nothing was really special about the ninth floor. It
was dark when the elevator door turned translucent
and the lit candles floating at the surface of each
bowl were showing us the way to another room.
But what was more surprising was the
translucent tunnel following this first room. The
Plexiglas in the shape of an arc was surmounted by
small lights and all around us we could distinguish
fish, all sorts of fish. I had almost forgotten we were
in the middle of the Indian Ocean.
"It's incredible. Have you been here before?"
I asked.
"This floor is my favorite. Every party is
organized here" answered Maggy.
"Come on girls, we're late..." said Ben.
There seemed to be no end to it. I could feel
my curiosity arousing as I didn't know what to expect
next. After more or less sixty feet I could see light,
sunlight. I had never seen any view like this. The
concrete led us to a walk alongside a river. In the
distance we could admire an immense bridge. The
candles were still indicating the path to follow.
125
"New York, New York" Ben exclaimed. On a
sign next to the inviting flashy green grass we could
read Brooklyn Park. It smelled like fresh cut grass
and sun cream, with a pinch of salt in the air.
"Great choice" he added.
On the lawn and the prolonged path on water
I counted fifty people approximately. They were all
elegantly dressed, mostly in red, white and blue.
Butlers were wearing white suits with gloves and
were offering their guests champagne glasses and
appetizers. We could hear people talk relentlessly and
animatedly, or burst into laughter, all their
conversation being sometimes interrupted by the
twitter of birds.
However, when we arrived, they all stared at
me – and among them I saw Wolf giving me a severe
look. I stole a glance at Maggy and Ben. I was frozen
in my tracks but determined not to lower my eyes.
"Yeah, that's right, baby, the party has
arrived!" Ben shouted. And five seconds later
everyone went back to attending their business.
"Never mind them" whispered Maggy, "You
have all the right to be here. Don't worry."
I was grateful for their presence and support
but I was surprised to realize that I was looking for
somebody else in the crowd.
We found a nice place on the grass and sat down, cut
off from the crowd who was near the water.
The firework was due at nine thirty and time was
flying with these two. Ben couldn't stop cracking
jokes and mocking the waiters around us.
126
Memories of their best 4th of July were exchanged
but nothing too personal.
The food was delicious – spring rolls, fried shrimps –
not that I had tasted these but they had received the
approval of both Ben and Maggy – their appetizers
bathing in cognac sauce...
However it appeared to be impossible to get
drunk insisted Ben. "This fucking chip is controlling
everything from my sugar level to the amount of
wind I'm supposed to let out after a nice warm meal.
Tell me about freedom."
Maggy was laughing even more loudly.
But there was still no sign of Kellan. I felt
stupid for thinking he would have come, for
thinking...I didn't know what I had expected exactly.
Maggy stood up suddenly "I'll be right back."
"Hey, don't be too long, it's getting dark, the
fireworks are certainly about to start" I said.
"Don't worry, I just need to find the
restrooms...to get rid of all this alcohol that won't get
me drunk." She winked at Ben.
Everyone had stood up awaiting the big event.
We followed their example for once. I was taken
aback by the first explosion in the blackened sky ten
minutes afterwards. It was silver and bright,
illuminating Big Apple in the background.
The crowd was now cheering and clapping for each
new artificial star.
I turned around to see if Maggy was near, Ben
certainly didn't seem preoccupied. No sign of her.
127
Where are you? You're missing the best part of the
show. I thought.
It was taking too long.
I turned around to signal to Ben that I was
going to fetch Maggy when I felt a hand restraining
my right arm. I jumped with surprise.
"Hey!" I shouted.
"Come with me, now!" my assailant said
aggressively, dragging me away.
I was protesting, trying to remove his strong
hand but Jared had his nails deeply inserted in my
skin, scratching me. Astonishingly it didn't really
hurt. However, the more I tried to escape from him,
the stronger his grip was.
I implored Ben to turn around but he didn't
hear me. The music was at its peak with Katie Perry's
transcending voice.
Jared had taken me away to a remote and deserted
place. I had stopped screaming, knowing so well that
it was useless.
He pushed me hard against a tree, his left forearm
blocking my airways and preventing me from
moving. I was trying to remove his arm, to catch my
breath. I quickly started to feel numb.
"You bitch, it is all your fault. You're going
to pay for what you have done."
I was trying to kick him, punch his face like
Kellan had taught me. It was in vain. Jared wouldn't
let go of his grip. "I...I don't… know ...what…" I
couldn't talk anymore.
128
His eyes, injected with blood and rage, and
the sound of his army tag moving were the last
elements I noticed before closing my eyes.
"You killed her! You bitch! Naome was
innocent. You don't deserve to live!"
What…? Dead? How? When? She was
getting better. I don't understand…
Not again! Not her!
Suddenly a familiar wave of guilt washed over me.
Maybe he was right. Maybe I deserved to die.
Knowing that I was about to pass out in ten seconds,
I quit fighting and decided to let the inevitable
happen, shedding a tear, relieved at the prospect of
this suffering – or remorse – coming to an end. I was
full of regrets... but I was grateful too... for today...
129
I fell violently on the ground, coughing, trying to
breathe again.
Regaining some consciousness, I looked up,
from my crouching position.
Kellan was restraining Jared, encircling him
with his two arms.
Jared was kicking him with his elbow,
fighting his brother's restraint.
"Faith, get out of here now!" Kellan shouted
at me.
I stood up with difficulty and stumbled along,
trying to run, barefoot.
Finding my way back on the promenade, I
saw Maggy and Ben, surrounded by Toby, Jeanne
who glanced at me sadistically.
I started running even faster, following candle
lights in the reverse direction.
Was I going the right way?
Stop freaking out, just run!
I entered the elevator, pressed on the button
displaying six, frenetically.
But when I looked back, I saw Jeanne
dangerously approaching, running faster and faster.
The door turned opaque and was already
carrying me up, before she could reach me.
When I arrived in my familiar hall, I used the route I
had taken with Kellan, and made another run for it.
Panic was invading me now, so sheer, knowing that
Jeanne would be here soon.
130
I started weeping.
I didn't know where I was and how I was supposed to
reach safety…
Your chip. Use your chip. I thought about security
measures, locks, someone breaking into my home,
danger...
Then I heard it.
Faintly at first, slowly growing louder as I was
approaching its source.
My alarm system was on, giving me directions.
I followed the noise and reached another corner.
I pressed on the shape next to it and I was back
inside, safe.
I mentally added five more locks on my door,
ran to my living room, and sat down on my sofa,
holding my knees, rocking back and forth to find
solace.
I woke up on the sofa, sweating, still holding my
knees. It was the middle of the night; everything was
ghostly, the only light that came in was a ray of
moon. A full moon.
But I knew none of this was real. I was still
trapped at the bottom of the ocean. My heartbeat
started racing again. I focused on the word light but
nothing happened. I looked around and it was so
gloomy that I couldn't see anything.
Suddenly I heard a step, then a second one –
or was it an echo? A third one, a fourth one.
131
I quickly glanced at the corner when the sound had
derived from. Nothing. Only shadows, moving,
dancing.
Oh my Gosh, there is something inside my
apartment.
All the separated shadows somehow merged to form
only one – it was a silhouette.
The silhouette of a woman, drawing near, encircling
me, strangling me…
My eyes opened in an instant. I was sweating heavily,
not knowing where I was.
Another nightmare.
I tried to convince myself it would be the last one but
I honestly doubted it would be the case.
It was day, or they were trying to make me
think it was. I got up, wearing the same dress as the
day before or was it several? I had lost count. I had
been able to sleep after all.
Relentless sleep, but sleep anyway.
Then I remembered, the events of the previous night.
Once again I was responsible for someone's death –
not resulting from my selfishness, but my own
violence. I knew I wouldn't be able to overcome it
this time. I also knew it was getting more and more
dangerous each day. So was I. Jared, Jeanne, Wolf,
Stern … and now all the people who had known
Naome. I was the undesirable number one here and I
couldn't blame them.
Let's let them have their way, I want to die too.
132
My bedroom door banged opened in an
instant.
It was Stern. She was here, in my apartment,
her hands hidden in the pockets of her black trousers.
She must be concealing a weapon. Go ahead, I'm
ready.
But I started to doubt the motive of her visit
when she said, still looking at me angrily "You're
such a disappointment, Faith…" She was sitting
down on my bed, hands off her pockets now.
"You made no progress in these past months. Bochi
may think what he wants, I don't believe it; you're
not a healer…I have invested so much in you… But
I've never felt a true commitment from your part.
And now Naome…I have no other option… I'll keep
Jeanne and J at bay but only if you agree to have
surgery again. I will let you know when. Such a
waste… You better get up now, Professor Bochi
doesn't like being kept waiting and you already
missed yesterday's appointment…"
I remained silent and resigned. Was it
necessary to remind me of what had happened?
Don't you think I know?
Without adding anything, she stood up, left
my bedroom, leaving the door open.
After minutes of total impassivity, I struggled out of
bed, still consumed with dreadful guilt.
133
–
CHAPTER 6 –
Heavy Lightness
Which day was it? My board indicated 6
th
July but I
didn't know which weekday we were.
The faster, the better… Being killed or the
surgery, it doesn't matter I thought as I had lost all
the will to live.
I was in the bathroom now, looking at the
face of a murderer. No mark on my throat? Had it
been just a dream? I had thought for one second but I
doubted that as well when I recognized with certainty
the feeling in my gut: crying shame.
I was out of my apartment when I saw him, waiting
for me.
"Leave me alone!" I told Kellan.
"Is this how you're thanking me for saving
you, again?" he asked, staying all calm and serious.
I was heading for elevator number one, the
closest to my room. I didn't answer, I just wanted to
avoid him. Him and his devilish brother.
I wanted nothing to do with those two. I had been
running in the hall for several minutes, pursued by
Kellan, when I came to a dead end.
"Stop following me. I'm warning you!" Panicking, I
was pushing every shape I thought I saw.
134
"If you're looking for the elevator, it's right
there", he added pointing at the corner on my left.
I remembered the grayish shape I needed to
press on this corner and a door appeared. I entered
the elevator, followed by Kellan, despite my attempt
to let the elevator move before he could enter.
Apparently pressing on all the floor buttons had only
delayed the closing of the door.
Good to know. I was angry at myself and still not
talking.
When the elevator reached the eighth floor, the door
became translucent as it had for all the other floors.
Kellan said "Let's go" and he took my hand.
I went out reluctantly, trying to slow him
down. I removed my hand from his.
"Just slow down." he said after two minutes.
"What do you want? Do you enjoy spending
time with a murderer?" I burst out, having stopped
walking in the middle of the hall. I was overwhelmed
with black despair.
"Do not go on that road. You don't even
know what provoked her death…"
"I will never be able to live with it…"
"When I said trust your intuition I thought
you had understood".
As he pronounced these words, he slowly took my
hands in his and put them on each side of his head,
exactly where Jeanne had put hers.
I never saw this coming.
My heart was melting, with this touch he had taken
away all my sorrow and pain.
135
I felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach and a wave
of excitement as his head was getting closer to mine.
I could feel his strong hair slipping through my
fingers.
At this exact moment, I was submerged by a painless
flow of energy, so strong my head bent back, my
eyes rolling back too.
Kellan catching me in his arms was the only
sensation I had before I felt my body going numb,
levitating; my mind was reeling because of the
thousands of pictures it was receiving every second.
Am I dreaming? I had this feeling of floating or
walking on a cloud, without controlling my speed. In
front of me hundreds of landscapes were appearing.
Wolf? What is he doing here?
All the images stopped in a fragment of seconds to
turn to Wolf untying Kellan in what seemed to be a
cellar.
"Hurry up. He's after her. What happened?"
Wolf asked.
"Naome is dead. I'm sure it was Stern. Jared
was out of control and he put me here. Where are
they?"
I was suddenly crushed by a wave of growing
panic that I couldn't control. Wolf was trying to catch
up with Kellan, running, but I was already leaving the
scene. Wait, I want to see him again, show me
Kellan. Show me Kellan again.
136
I was now next to him but I wasn't the only one in
what I imagined to be his apartment.
Jeanne was there too.
"Come on, look at us. I know we would be
great together. We are meant to be.
If only you could let me in…" She had her arms
around him, ready to kiss him.
At this moment all I felt was disgust and
embarrassment. When I saw myself in the hall,
Kellan was removing her hands from his neck. My
double couldn't hide her surprise nor disappointment.
He started running after "her", leaving Jeanne and
myself behind. This image slowly faded away
carrying me along with it.
I was in a dark room when I could feel mounting
anger building inside of me.
"What the fuck did you do? I didn't steal it so
you could inject her with it. Our cover will be blown
instantly if they realize what you did…Stern has
already asked me to watch you…You're are being
stupid and reckless." Wolf was talking fast.
"I couldn't leave her like this…They'll
probably think she can heal very quickly thanks to
the alteration surgery and they'll give her a break.
And what the fuck did you hit her with? She couldn't
even walk…" It was Kellan, he was furious.
"What did you expect me to do? She was out
of control, not to mention all the cameras that were
filming her…I didn't have any choice."
Wolf was justifying hitting me?
137
"And what if I had taken the other one by
mistake? You could have killed her too…"
"No, the serum is almost translucent. The
anti-serum is practically red."
How did Kellan know so many things?
"How do you know?" Wolf was asking him. I
wasn't the only curious one.
"Naome has analyzed the serum for me. She
started doubting Stern's motives after meeting Faith.
And listen to this; she found DNA in both samples.
These were taken from humans, altered
humans…twins…"
"Do you mean…?"
"Yes, this is exactly what it means…There
might be others…" I could now feel bleak despair
crushing him when I felt carried away somewhere
else.
I could see myself in my bed, sleeping. I saw Kellan
coming to me, calling my name, trying to wake me.
"Do you trust me?" I saw him insert a needle
in my arm and seeing him doing so I was thrown into
mad panic. What if it doesn't work? What am I
doing? What if it kills her? I couldn't go on living
with that.
It was so strange; these weren't my thoughts.
Were they Kellan's? As I was trying to prevent him
from injecting me with the liquid, I saw my hand
disappear and turn into thin air.
Kellan was in front of me, walking, carrying
something in his hands.
138
I accelerated to keep up with him and I
recognized a tray of food with muffins.
He put it down with some blankets and I was
surprised to think That will certainly cheer her up.
But I realized it wasn't me, I wasn't dreaming.
I was in his memory, Kellan's memory.
How is that possible? Show me more, I
thought, then drifted away.
I was now in a familiar landscape. In front of me The
French Quarter was opening up, showing me Kellan
seated next to Jared on a bench. They were both
facing the Mississippi River. The sun was going
down, it was hot and damp. As I was drawing nearer,
I heard them arguing.
Don't do this J. She's innocent. You know
what happened to others. We owe them nothing!
We owe them everything; we have a roof
above our heads, a life here. They need us. The world
needs us Kellan, and her. She could be it… Stern is
sure of it!
You don't know that and I won't let you
destroy another person's life…
What is a life compared to the millions we
will save? What are you going to do? Stop me? What
about our purpose here? What about our mission?
Observing them, I realized their lips weren't
moving. They weren't even looking at each other.
How come I can hear them? Are they talking about
me?
Jared stood up suddenly and left Kellan alone
on the bench. Anger, he was angry and sad. I
139
recognized his feelings and was disappearing again,
falling into oblivion.
More I thought.
Wolf was back in what I was now certain to be one of
Kellan's memory fragments. They were both in an
enclosed space I didn't know and they were both
whispering.
"Are you sure our meeting was a good idea?"
Wolf asked.
"You came to me, you wanted a way out."
Kellan answered.
"I know, I know. I'm just… Never mind. Are
you sure we're not under surveillance?"
"Positive."
"That's what you thought in Stern's office
when I caught you…"
"Relax, they never record anything in here
anyway."
"So, what did you have in mind?"
"I want to find out what they're really after.
Stern is very concise when she gives information and
I'm not buying any of it. No way is she working for
the US government."
"What do you want me to do?" Wolf
enquired.
"We need to collect Intel to know more about
Stern and her organization. And as soon as we get the
chance, we expose them and get the hell out."
"Sounds good to me" replied Wolf.
Hope, he's hopeful and relieved I knew.
140
"How can I reach you if I need to talk to
you?"
This image quickly turned into something else, I had
the impression that they were accelerating in front of
me and I couldn't cling onto them.
Kellan was lying in front of me now. Drains were
coming out of his body, everywhere, in this inert
white surgical room. His head was shaved and his
body bruised and defeated.
Am I alive? Why have I agreed to do this? It
hurts… so much. Jared, what did you make me do…?
As I could feel his pain growing and despair driving
him, I took his hand in mine but I only touched air,
my body disappearing once more.
The light inside the bar was faint, it was noisy and I
could detect scents of smoke and alcohol mixing.
Kellan was serving drinks at the bar when he saw
Jared come in, with… Louise.
She was a gorgeous, fresh brunette, not older
than eighteen. She was wearing a red strapless dress
with long earrings and red lipstick.
I could feel rage growing inside Kellan. He
was walking to them both slowly, Jared was
impassive. Kellan suddenly punched Jared in the
face, taking him by his shirt and pulling him outside.
I could hear the protests of the other bartender, Phil,
shouting that they were both fired.
Louise was smiling with triumph and walked
away.
141
I followed them both outside through the back
door. When I caught up with them, Kellan was still
holding his brother by the collar, against a wall, his
fist ready to punch him a second time.
"I told you she was a slut, but you wouldn't
listen. You had to play the hero."
Kellan dropped his grip on Jared and looked
at his brother intensely. He was still furious but
remained silent.
He turned around and said "Why, J? Why
her? You could have any other girl. And now we're
fired. You heard Phil."
"This one is on you, bro."
"What did you expect me to do, huh? Let you
go away with it?" Kellan asked rhetorically.
"It's always been you and me K, never mind
that bitch."
After five seconds Kellan added "We don't
have any money, we have nowhere to go..."
"Don't worry, I found something. You don't
have to worry about money anymore. Here, look at
this card." On it I could get a glimpse at a silver giant
S encrusted with what looked like a C in a rectangle.
"What is that?" K asked.
"Our new employer, bro. So don't weigh
yourself down with extra luggage…We're leaving
this shithole."
The next image took form so quickly that I almost
felt sick.
I was following Kellan and Jared on a path.
They were much younger, teenagers certainly. They
142
were walking towards a house. A beautiful garden
was surrounding it, the American flag was fluttering
in the breeze. It was silent.
Kellan was approaching the open entrance
door when he turned around to look at Jared and ask
him to stay outside.
Kellan entered.
The beige walls were decorated with family
pictures; the twins with diapers dutifully striking a
pose – the couple around them were their parents – a
beautiful black and white wedding picture – the man
wearing a uniform.
More pictures of Kellan and Jared were displayed on
a rectangular mahogany table in the hall. The lamp
on it was lighting the portrait of a man – the same
one – in uniform again. There was an army tag in
front of it. Next to it was a frame with a star-shaped
medal inside. I could read Army/Forever/USA. And
above it this sentence In memory of Maxwell Taylor.
Kellan was now shouting "Mom? Mom?"
still more loudly, searching for her in every room
downstairs. He started climbing up the stairs in front
of me. I decided to follow him.
He was slowing down now and I could feel
dread perspiring out of him. He was heading for a
room in particular.
His mom's bedroom. Rosalyn.
The green lights were on, which accentuated
the sick feeling the second floor was already evoking.
Kellan slowly opened the door, when abject
horror overcame him.
143
There was blood and flesh spread everywhere on the
wall – in such a way – it was almost suggesting one
of Pollock's paintings.
His mother lay down on her king-size bed, a
gun next to her right hand.
Kellan didn't say anything. Mom… you were
never strong enough.
He was struggling to contain his savage anger. He
went to his mother's corpse and touched her hand,
fighting back tears.
I could feel responsibility weighing on him,
responsibility for his brother, for struggling for a
better life than what he and his brother had had.
Kellan stood up quickly for he had heard Jared's
steps on the stairs.
Everything vanished into a blur.
The next landscape was displaying Kellan and Jared
with the man in the picture. They were at the gym.
It smelled and looked exactly like the gym where we
had practiced.
Kellan was so young, not more than six. He
was punching the bag, proud of his progress but
afraid to forget the next combination. Left, right,
uppercut, hook…
"Focus Kellan, feet at equal distance. Good.
Go on. Okay. Here have something to drink while
your brother is training."
Kellan went sitting down on a bench.
His father was still talking to him, "Don't
forget to stay focused, never lower your guard, K.
Your opponent will use any opportunity to attack
144
you. Harder, Jared", their father shouted, standing up
and coming close to K's brother.
Kellan was looking at him with pride and
love. All he wanted was to be like his dad.
"Rest another five minutes then you'll
practice your karate moves."
I was swept along at the speed of light.
I could feel warmth irradiating everywhere. His eyes
were closed. He was bathing in a liquid environment.
Kellan didn't know where he was but it didn't matter,
it was comforting. He was bent and tried to stretch
but every time he did, he felt something – someone –
kicking him, taking the whole space he had left. This
kick felt somehow reassuring and he felt safe here. I
could hear a muffled voice, talking to him, to them.
"Oh, come on little men, stop moving. I can't
breathe anymore. Ouch. Honey? Honey, we've got to
go now, I think they're coming!"
I woke up in Kellan's arms, drained and full of
sorrow, able to whisper just one thing at his ear:
"Rosalyn… How could she do this to you?"
Warm tears were slowly rolling down my cheeks and
Kellan's face turned white with horror. I felt
emotionally and physically drained. It was as if life
had been sucked out of me. I couldn't stand up nor
walk. Kellan was still holding me in his arms when I
blacked out again.
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"What the hell is going on here?" Professor Bochi
was asking as I had regained some consciousness.
"There's been something wrong with her data, bring
her inside." He was ordering Kellan to move. "Now!"
As Kellan was carrying me, I saw lust in the
assistant's eyes as we passed her.
"Put her here."
I was on the auscultation chair again.
"She fainted and injured her head." Kellan
lied. "She's had nothing to eat for two days… Can
you give her something?"
"I need to run some tests first. I want a blood
sample."
"Are you kidding me? She's obviously
suffering, do something!" Kellan protested this time.
"Do you want me to report your refusal to
Stern?" Kellan remained silent. "I thought so. Now
let me do my job. You may go, you're no longer
necessary here."
No. I was screaming in my head.
Faith? Oh my God, Faith, is that you?
What's going on? I thought.
Faith, it's me, K. Oh my God, I can't believe
it.
"Kellan, what did you just say?" I asked him
out loud.
Listen Faith, we need to get you out of here
first. Don't say anything. They're watching us...
"Take the damn blood sample and let me take her
back to her room. She's obviously disorientated."
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Professor Bochi was eyeing me and Kellan
suspiciously but complied. He put on his surgical
gloves and prepared his syringe.
It didn't even pinch.
"Can we go now?" Kellan enquired as he was
already lifting me up in his arms.
Dr. Bochi tore apart two different aluminum
squares and gave them to me.
"Take these with water." We were almost out of his
office when he added "I'll expect to see her
tomorrow morning as usual."
I couldn't fail to notice the professor's
sadistic smile, looking back as we were passing his
assistant's desk.
"Kellan, what's wrong with me?" I asked, worried.
Sh... Don't say anything else. he whispered in
my head. "I think our training yesterday was a little
bit too hard. You are exhausted and starving!" Kellan
said out loud, still carrying me in his arms.
I remained silent, so silent that I could hear
his heartbeat accelerate. I was feeling so faint that I
rested my head on his shoulder until we arrived at my
apartment. The door immediately let us in as soon as
we stood before it. He seemed to find his way
without any difficulty. He put me on my bed and took
the medicine I had been given.
"Here, try to rest a little bit. I'll fetch a glass
of water." He came back two minutes afterwards with
a sparkling mixture and gave it to me to drink.
I didn't protest. After having emptied the
glass, I lay down on my bed.
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"Rest, I'll be back when you wake up." Don't
worry I won't be far, I'm heading for my apartment.
Kellan, go on talking to me, please.
We can still "talk". Close your eyes and
pretend you are asleep. There are cameras
everywhere. Stern is constantly watching us.
I know…Oh my Gosh, I know…What is wrong
with me? Why can I hear you?
I don't know how it happened but we share
the same ability.
Ability? Oh my Gosh, it wasn't a dream?
What do you mean by 'it wasn't a dream'?
I…I felt everything you have ever felt, saw
everything you have lived…
Everything?
I knew honesty was too important to ignore
but I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.
However, no matter what I would say, the image of
Louise smiling was forever printed in my mind.
It was more like being on a high-speed train and I
saw some of the stops you had taken…
You "saw" what happened to my mother?
I did. I'm sorry.
Don't apologize, it's not your fault. But it's
not like I've ever shared it with anyone before.
Don't worry, I won't tell. I'm so sorry you
had to live through this.
Once again, you had nothing to do with it. It's
strange though… So far I could only hear one
person's thoughts, my brother's, since surgery. I
have been able to "talk" to him but with no one else.
It's a first for me too…
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Why do you think it happened to me? I asked
him.
Something must have triggered it. Has it
happened before, I mean since the alteration
surgery?
I focused on the past months when I recalled
what had happened when the nurse touched me after I
had woken up in the premises.
Yes, I think. With the nurse who checked up on me, I
was in so much pain…Somehow I knew things I had
never learned before.
Like what?
I could attend wounds and I knew about
concussions, infections, injections… But it was
nothing compared to what I experienced with you…
What do you mean?
Receiving all these images didn't hurt with
you… I mean, not physically and I don't recall any
precise event from the nurse's life. I suppose I only
kept some memory of her knowledge. Do you think I
might still be immune to pain because of the serum
you injected me with?
You saw that as well…I guess maybe... I know
Jared has developed a certain insensitivity. He is
regularly injected with it, before each mission.
Jeanne and Wolf too…
So what do you think my skill is?
It's hard to say…Not to mention that the
alteration process is different for everyone. Naome
thinks...
I winced.
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She thought, he started again, the surgical
procedure could only enhance what had already been
there. Look at Jared, he's always wanted to be
influential and listened to. Now he can provoke
visions – dreams or nightmares. I also know that
Maggy has always been anxious and controlling.
Now she can control the elements around her too.
Like you?
Me?
Yes, you've always been very protective
towards your brother. Maybe that's why you can
hear him…
And with these last word I knew I had gone too
far…An image of Kellan resurfaced. The memory of
his dad, asking him to care for Jared and his mum
while he was away, as he was the most responsible
one, and the guilt of having failed the three of them.
The best thing to do was to change the subject.
You wanted Stern to think my ability was healing
quickly…
Yes, I didn't want her to know I had injected
you with the serum. And your tissue needed healing
faster after what had happened, not to mention I
wanted to avoid your going through surgery again…
She would certainly have suggested it. I didn't know
what you were capable of either, I guess I wanted to
be the first to find out.
I knew he was smiling. And you knew what
the serum would do because of Wolf…
Yes, Jared, Wolf and Jeanne. They're the only
ones who have been injected with it so far. Together
they are part of the most lethal group I have ever
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known. They're very dangerous and practically
indestructible.
I already knew all this but I didn't have the
courage to stop him, his inner voice was so soothing.
But I still needed to ask him: Who made this serum?
Who are the twins?
I don't know for sure… Apparently you
already know everything I know…
I didn't confirm nor deny this reality.
But Wolf? I never expected him to work with you…
He noticed something was wrong from his
very first mission. He's been covering for me a few
times when I wanted to explore some offices. Not to
mention he is gifted with very heightened senses. Ms.
Stern is nothing but thorough, she has always
suspected me of not wanting to be a part of her
group. She has put an entire surveillance system on
every floor to catch her "mole". But they're not
really useful against Wolf and his supra hearing and
sight. You were talking about the nurse who had
checked up on you and you knew about her nursing
knowledge, do you remember anything particular
that might have provoked it?
Nothing unusual. She asked me if I was okay
and I…She had startled me that was all.
Did she say anything in particular? Did she
do anything out of the ordinary?
I don't think so, I was removing her hand
when it happened.
You touched her?
Yes but…
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As I was trying to understand, I remembered her in
detail, her hand on my shoulder, mine trying to
remove it and the pain it had caused. Stern made me
touch your hand on the first day, do you think she
knows?
I think she suspects something, maybe she
saw something when she watched the footage. Bochi
will certainly keep an eye on you too. You need to be
as discreet as possible, you can't take any risk.
Why do you think nothing happened when she
made me touch you?
I don't know. But there is a reason, I'm sure
of it. We need to find a pattern. What could have
provoked your …visions?
Trying to relive the moments before entering
Kellan's memory, I started blushing. I was glad he
couldn't see me. Then it struck me. Your neck, I
touched your neck.
You mean the chip?
Yes, I think it has something to do with it.
I'll see with Wolf if we can meet somewhere
safe later or tomorrow, maybe after...
After what?
After… the funeral. I …have to go. Everyone
expects me to be there.
Kellan, I…
I know.
What can I do?
Be patient. I think you should stay in your
apartment for a while, for your own safety. I'll bring
you lunch and we can practice some more this
afternoon. If Bochi really thinks you're a healer, he'll
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expect you to be on your feet quickly. We mustn't
raise his suspicions. Get some rest now. You must be
pretty shaken up. I'll contact Wolf.
Okay. After a minute, I added: Hey, Kellan?
Yes?
Do you think Stern had Naome killed?
Yes…She had started to ask too many
questions. I think Stern took the opportunity to frame
you for her death.
I still don't understand why she would do
such a thing…
She certainly knew you would blame yourself
and be even more cooperative…
Thank you…
Don't mention it. Rest now, your questions
will be answered, I promise you…
And I dozed off.
I woke up calmly after what seemed like an eternity. I
felt rested and peaceful even after two hours of sleep.
No nightmare. What a feat!
I got up in my bedroom which was exactly
how I had left it. But somehow the atmosphere
surrounding me was different. I didn't know what
had brought about this discernible shift but it felt like
a whole new world was opening to me.
Kellan. Kellan changed things… As I didn't
want him to read me like an open book, I tried to
block my thoughts. How do you do that? I knew he
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could do it with Jared…Let's focus. Empty your
head! Block! Now! Breathe in, breathe out…
It was time to check if it had worked.
Kellan, are you there? Can you hear me?
Loud and clear!
Shit!
Nice try with the "blocking" theory but I'm
afraid it doesn't work that way.
I could hear him giggle. I felt so
embarrassed…You'll have to teach me…I still need
some privacy. I went on "talking" to him as I was
getting up and ready.
Don't worry, it's not that complicated. The
only thing you need is a safe word.
I know, I tried your safe word technique…
It's more like a safe "thought", really… You
focus on a thought or on an object that has had a
great impact on your life.
You let this thought possess you and invade your
mind without any restraint, and I'll be totally unable
to hear you.
And if you aren't able to communicate with
me afterwards?
As soon as you want me to, I'll be able to
hear you, don't worry. At least it's how it works with
Jared…
Okay. Let's give it a try. I was wearing a
colorful flowered shirt and a pair of shorts with pink
flip flops to match my mood.
Wait, I put a tray of food in front of your
apartment, I didn't want to wake you. Help yourself
first.
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Alright, thanks. I thought before repeating to
myself stop thinking, stop thinking…
Heading for the tray, I remembered that I needed to
pretend I hadn't known anything about it.
My door turned into a translucent circle and I was in
the hall again. I looked around to check there was no
one and I acted surprised to see food next to my door.
I took everything back inside and sat down at my
dining room table.
Swallowing my daily portion of energy, I
started wondering about a memory fragment that
would be of help. Might be the right moment to forget
about everything I thought.
Let's see, what are my interests?
Books? I love reading. Why not? Passing in review
my whole French lit course, that I had adored, I
remembered some good reading. "Le Rouge et le
Noir" from Stendhal was great or "Jane Eyre" that I
had read for my English course.
I had felt all the innermost emotions the characters
had to cope with, from anxiety and doubt to ecstasy
and suffering.
I was amazed by my taste for desperate and
impossible love.
Maybe love isn't meant to last. People say passionate
love never exceeds three years.
I thought humans' emotions were too unpredictable
for love to have a happy ending. I had always
preferred Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights for that
reason in comparison with other authors. I thought
Jane Austen's book endings were totally naïve for
155
example, even if secretly I wished I could live the
same big love.
I thought about all the books I had had to read as a
student but I found nothing that was sufficient for the
task at hand.
I've never had any pets, but maybe I can use an
imaginary one? What about animals?
My love for animals? Flowers? The nature? A good
movie? ...
It wasn't helping.
Then suddenly, I knew. Rays. Manta Rays. I had been
fascinated with them since my childhood. I had
looked up every item of info on the net, had watched
all the documentaries and given every school
presentation on them. I had tried to raise awareness
on the global warming issue and its impact on sea life
during my whole study program. They're so majestic
and graceful. When you see them move, it's like they
were flying in the ocean. They had given me the
incentive to become a marine biologist but I had
shelved every plan since my parents' death. I grew up
with this desire of swimming with them, caring for
them and especially protecting them.
Dozens and dozens of images of rays were flashing
across my mind. I imprinted them on, blocking every
other thought.
When I opened my eyes, half an hour had
passed. K? Are you there?
Are you okay?
Yes, I'm fine. I…I think I've got it, my
thought.
156
Already? It took me three weeks to find a
way…Let's give it a try, I'm on my way to pick you
up for training. I know a whole bunch of silly jokes.
Focus and if I don't hear you laugh, it means it is
working.
Or it will mean your jokes are not that good I
smiled.
No, no one can resist my jokes…
I could picture him smiling too.
'Three single men are on a deserted island.
The first one…'
As he went on telling his joke, I let my mind
wander on rays and the ocean, the way they were all
letting the current carry them away, the movement of
their fins…
As I couldn't hear Kellan anymore, I walked to my
entrance door for he had said he was on his way to
my place.
"What took you so long, we're late. Let's
go!" Kellan was saying almost angrily while
thinking, it worked…but you missed all the punch
lines.
I'm sure! Another time maybe. When we are
out of here…I replied, thinking about us both, free
again.
His blue eyes were looking at me with almost carnal
intensity. A wave of desire was growing inside of me,
burning my every organ, tensing my every muscle. It
was no need denying it, I wanted him to kiss me,
157
right here, right now. I wanted to feel his muscular
arms around my waist, holding me, pulling me close,
and protecting me. I wanted to taste him, smell him,
to belong to him and him only.
But I couldn't afford to think of him that way
or to let him notice I was blushing. Block your
thoughts!
He was the enemy on the ring. I stopped
staring and I tried to rest my eyes on something else –
his chest instead – maybe not the best of ideas.
I could see sweat pearling down his arms and neck.
But I wouldn't be that easily distracted or easy to
defeat.
He had understood it as I had proven I could
be a strong adversary for the past half hour – a
decisive advantage of having learned all his
technique with my journey through his memory.
Boxing, karate, judo, swordsmanship with kendo,
stick fighting… had no more secret to me.
He would have to try another tactic and not hold back
to be victorious.
I was ready for his next move. I saw his right
hand slowly forming a fist and anticipated the blow, I
ducked down before he could reach me. But as I was
trying to stand up again I saw his right knee
dangerously aiming at my face. I quickly rolled on
the other side to avoid it and back flipped to stand up.
"You've improved", he said.
"I'm a fast learner" I lied.
You need to hold back or you'll be
compromised. You could never have made so much
158
progress in twenty-four hours. Don't forget that
they're watching us.
Oh, yes, you're right.
Just when I was building the necessary confidence to
attack, Kellan's right foot kicked my left knee and a
sharp sound irradiated from my whole leg. I lost my
balance and collapsed, still blocking his next blow
with my right arm.
When he realized it might be a serious injury,
Kellan bent on one knee and asked "Are you okay?"
He had started inspecting me, holding my hip with
one hand and checking my entire leg with the other. I
think it's dislocated, you should be crying in pain.
Kellan thought.
"Aaah" I shouted as he tried to move my leg
again.
"Let's call it even for today. You need to go
to the nursery wing." he added.
"I can't move…" I hadn't had the time to
finish my sentence as he was already carrying me in
his strong arms, one supporting my back, the other
holding my legs. I put my right arm around his neck
and let him carry me to the door.
When I understood that he wasn't heading for
the right direction, I asked Where are you going? The
elevator is that way and Bochi's on the eighth floor…
I don't want this pervert to touch you ever
again. He will want to take some more blood
samples…"I would like Wolf to have a look at you
first. He's training here too. He has some qualities
159
that might help us find out what is wrong with your
knee." Anyway I want to check a theory.
Which theory?
You said that when you had your first flashes
you were in a lot of pain, right?
Yes.
I know the chip indicates any pain or
suffering you're going through even if you don't feel
it. Bochi knew something happened when you
touched my chip. He said he had recorded activity.
So, if we want Stern or Bochi to remain unsuspicious
of your real ability, we will have to inflict you with
pain and another person's memory to revive at the
same time. The chip will record a peak of activity.
They'll think it was provoked by pain only. You will
have to fake it of course. This way we might succeed
in understanding the extent of your skills and hiding
the fact that I injected you with the serum at the same
time.
Smart! Let's try it.
Wolf must be in his training room. Let me do
the talking.
Yes Sir!
Don't "yes Sir" me. He was laughing
inwardly.
I couldn't say the prospect of invading Wolf's mind
was really attractive but I was willing to know more
about what the alteration process had changed in me.
"If it's dislocated, can you put it back into
place?" Kellan was asking Wolf.
"I could try but it will hurt like hell…"
160
He was still observing my knee as I was on the floor,
my back against a wall in his training room.
He is concerned for my well-being now? I
thought.
Don't judge him too harshly. We both needed
to pretend… and he saved me more than once. Be
ready to touch his chip and don't forget to scream…
"Okay, Faith, do not move, Wolf will be as
quick as possible. Go ahead!" Kellan added, nodding
at Wolf. "At the count of three. One…Two…Th…"
Kellan didn't have the time to finish counting,
I touched Wolf's neck before he could pronounce
anything else and yelled at him at the same time.
But even faster than before, my head was spinning
and I was swept along by a whirlwind of thoughts
and feelings.
I could distinguish Wolf and Kellan as the dense
bank of fog surrounding me was slowly dispersing.
They were whispering in the dark enclosed space I
had already seen in Kellan's memory.
"Is she okay?" Wolf asked. But I could feel
he was sincerely worried this time which I had
doubted through Kellan's recall of events.
"Pretty shaken up, but she is doing fine
considering what she's been through. She is strong.
But that's not why I called you… Something's
happened…"
"Yes, I can sense your concern…" Wolf
answered.
I can sense it too. A great surge of adrenalin
swept through Wolf, I recognized the feeling.
161
"I think I know what surgery altered in her…"
"Well, tell me…"
"She touched my chip and took on my
power…"
"You mean she can hear your brother?"
"No, she can hear me, we can communicate
the way I do with Jared…"
"Has it happened with anyone else?" Wolf
asked intrigued.
"Yes, with a nurse… after a single touch of
her hand."
"If Stern finds out, she is finished. She will
end up as a lab rat." Wolf added.
"I know… I know. It's why I would like to
make sure no one finds out. But first you have to
promise me something. You'll have to protect her, if
anything happens to me…"
"Don't worry about it. So how do you want to
check your theory?"
The images rapidly tarnished and I went on
floating blindly. Why did you choose to help Kellan?
A flash of light, then nothing. It was dark but I could
see shadows moving, advancing towards us. They
were holding machine guns in front of a big facility.
"They're here. Wait for my signal…" Wolf
was whispering to Jeanne and Jared.
First mission. Nigeria. Save innocent
prisoners, I thought.
Jeanne was already standing, ready to attack.
"Wait!" Wolf was worried and very
protective towards her, he didn't want her to be hurt.
162
Not listening to him, she removed her gloves
and put her hands up. I had never witnessed such a
thing; sparkles were coming out of her palms leaving
the sky a very dark place. She had alerted the guards
who were now running to us.
It was like she had absorbed all the energy,
from the stars and the moon.
Jared was looking at her too and I could smell
his fear and fascination at the same time.
He quickly used his ability to blind the guards to their
presence. Even in the absence of immediate danger,
Jeanne turned her palms against them.
They hadn't had the time to scream, one man's flesh
was already melting as all the energy Jeanne had in
her hands was directed to him. She was leaving a
scent of roasted meat behind. I could feel bile in my
throat as utter disgust was filling me.
The scenery turned into smoke…
"Here is your money. Good job."
"It's my pleasure doing business with you".
Wolf overheard Stern and an African general talking
far off.
He was two miles away…
Wolf, why did you decide to come here? Tell me…
The devastating tornado of his feelings took me to
this place Wolf was reluctant to witness again.
There were images of Jeanne, everywhere, all around
me. She was teasing him, flirting with him,
inopportunely touching his hand still wearing her
163
gloves…and I felt sadness and pain swelling, mixed
with a sense of hope and deep affection.
The flow of images stopped and I entered the
last one. It was loud, people were screaming and
laughing. Wolf was watching the ocean from a pier.
Behind him the sunset was illuminated by plenty of
lights, coming from a big wheel. There was an
enormous roller coaster too…
Santa Monica.
Wolf was helpless that night, helpless and
frightened and his feelings were mine once more. He
wanted to stop, and start afresh. He just didn't know
how. Jump. Now…before it's too late. he was
thinking. He was gripped by the throat and saw only
one way out: suicide.
I knew the feeling well but somehow Wolf's heart
was heavier than mine had been.
"Excuse me. I'm a bit lost, could you help
me?" It was Jeanne, again. Jeanne and her French
accent.
What now? Wolf and I both thought. He
turned around and his heart skipped two beats.
She is so gorgeous... Everything turned into a dim
blur.
The light was weak, all the lamps were protected by
towels, and curtains were drawn. Wolf was at a
wooden table counting money. Or rather he let a
machine do it for him.
I heard noise in the kitchen – another man. He arrived
all dressed in black and spoke to him in Spanish.
Somehow I understood every word.
164
"Hey Wo, check this out, new liquid blow.
Pedro wants us to try it."
"I'm busy here José!"
"Come on man…" José was looking at him
with red-rimmed eyes.
"Give me a minute…" Wolf and I recognized
excitement coursing through his veins, excitement
and hidden disgust for he had become what he hated
the most…
He was in a small apartment.
Mi casa.
It was warm and full of smoke. He couldn't breathe.
Wolf was hungry, he went out of the bedroom,
through the half opened door, to see his mum. She
was all sleepy again, Pedro's hands were all over her
unmoving body, his cigarette burning in the ashtray.
Wolf glimpsed at the needle on the sofa…
"¿Qué vamos a comer?" he asked Pedro.
On Pedro's left shoulder I could clearly see a
tattoo: number thirteen and a skull.
Pedro had always frightened Wolf but he was
starving… He decided to approach him.
"Don't come over here you moron. What are
you good for? You only eat and shit all day long,
you're not even old enough to work for me." He was
yelling at little Wolf in Spanish. "Get the hell out!"
he cried out as, he slapped him once again.
My head was throbbing but I felt relieved to see
Kellan in front of me.
165
My pulse was racing and I was consumed by
too many emotions, mine and Wolf's. My head
started spinning, I was receiving too much
information at the same time. The light was too
bright in here, I closed my eyes, putting the palm of
my left hand on my forehead to check I wasn't
feverish. I felt dizzy and disgusted, probably by what
I had seen.
I tried to find my composure by breathing in and out
calmly but all I could hear were waves, somewhere –
all around me – giant waves crashing on the shore. A
faint thud, then ten, twenty, thousand, millions of
thuds in my head. It smelled like dust and sweat,
salty wind and…
"Faith, are you okay?" I could sense Kellan's
worry.
"I think I'm gonna be sick" was all I could
say before turning my head on the other side,
emptying all the content of my stomach after a single
gulp.
"Wolf, bring her a glass of water" Kellan
ordered.
He was holding my hair in a ponytail which gave me
yet another reason to flush with embarrassment.
Faith, what's wrong?
Too much, I see too much, there is too much
noise…Can you turn the lights off?
He stood up. I heard his steps resonating in
my head and a single bang.
The lights weren't so bright now. Better… I
thought.
Do you think it worked? he asked.
166
Yes, it did…but it's a nightmare now.
Everything seems heightened.
It must be your senses. Wolf stayed in his bed
for a week before being able to talk to anyone. But
you've had the serum, it should help…
It was easier inside his head. I thought,
almost immediately regretting it.
What do you mean?
It was almost like I could navigate through
his past and select where I wanted to go this time.
Even if I can recall all the details of his life and still
taste the bitterness of all his emotions now…This last
thought I kept to myself.
Wolf was giving me a bottle of fresh water
and I gratefully took a sip. It felt better but his
memories were still resonating in my head.
I don't know how he did it.
Did what?
Survive everything; his past, his operation,
his skills. It seems like a curse to me.
I was looking at him, full of understanding for what
Wolf had been through. He had never had any choice,
even when he had been working for Pedro.
Wolf glanced at me then at Kellan, as if
asking if his theory had been proven.
"Help me up, please" I said, asking Wolf to
give me a hand.
I held his arm and my index drew an imaginary
number thirteen on his left shoulder to make him
understand that I knew of his unbearable suffering.
He had his tattoo removed during alteration surgery
167
but I knew the recall of what it had represented was
still alive in his head, he was still crushed by guilt.
Wolf took a step back, eying me in panic.
"It's okay, I'm not going to be sick again, I
promise. It was too painful, that's all…" I hoped he
would understand that he didn't have to feel
ashamed.
"Let's take you back to your bedroom now."
It was Kellan, he sounded full of worry, his voice
echoing in my head once more.
Leaving the elevator with my two bodyguards who
were still pretending to help me walk, I felt like a
newborn. I could see now, really see – the cameras –
symbols for all the lies beneath the surface.
My God, Kellan, there is video surveillance
everywhere. I can see everything now. You were
right...
I know…We need to find out what Stern's
agenda is and we need to obtain proof…
I could touch her…it's the only way to be
sure…
It's too risky Faith, if she ever finds out what
you're capable of, she'll want to use you…
We need to make sure she never does find
out…but think about it, you know I'm right.
I'll think about it. he said to me whereas I
knew he wouldn't even consider it.
Two minutes afterwards I could hear steps in
the distance. Stop! I shouted in my head.
168
Kellan pretended to need to rest. What is it?
There is someone in front of my door…Wait,
two people. I can hear them.
I was looking at Wolf who was nodding, he had felt
their presence too of course.
I focused on where that sound had come from.
Somehow the scent invading my nostrils was familiar
– strawberry soap and sweat. This person had been
working out. Then it hit me.
It's Maggy and I think I know the other person too.
The other smell was stronger – bleach and a lot of
perfume, vanilla. Bochi's assistant, shit.
We need to buy some time, let me do the
talking, Kellan replied.
"Ah there you are. Professor Bochi would like
to see you, Faith, this instant." Bochi's assistant said
meeting us halfway.
"I'm afraid he will have to wait. She is in no
condition to see him." Kellan answered with strength
even if his pounding heartbeat was betraying him.
Kellan and Wolf both continued carrying me
to my door where Maggy was still waiting, looking at
the floor.
"His orders were clear, I…" the assistant
pursued, still following us, but she was to be quickly
cut off by Kellan.
"It's enough." Kellan stopped holding me and
turned around to face her. "Stern gave me clearance
to train her. She is my apprentice. Let's go to her
office now! I won't tolerate any more interference."
"It...It won't be necessary." she answered still
hesitantly.
169
"Tell him she'll be there for her appointment,
as usual."
"I will." Bochi's assistant said before
disappearing around the corner with her nervous
steps, the sound of her clicking high heels still
echoing in my head long after she had gone.
Maggy was still looking down when we
arrived in front of my apartment.
I could feel Wolf and Kellan become
uncomfortable, not knowing what to say.
"Guys, Maggy can help me to my bed. She's
got it from here. Thanks."
Wolf nodded and left without any comment.
Are you sure about this? Kellan asked.
Yes, she won't hurt me. I promise.
I won't be far, if you need me, just call. he
said then left.
Maggy took my arm and put it around her
neck. I was careful not to touch her chip.
I couldn't do this to Maggy, not to her.
But above all, I couldn't resign to stealing another
person's memories and life.
We entered.
She put me delicately to bed, still in ominous
silence. She sat down slowly, next to me.
My new gifts made me aware of the extent of
surveillance they were putting us under.
I spotted two cameras in my hall, one in my back,
above my head and I could hear recording devices
everywhere.
It was time to break this heavy silence between us.
170
"What's wrong Maggy? You, being that awfully
silent, that's a first!" I smiled.
"I'm…I'm sorry it took me so long to
come….but I…"
"Don't apologize, I understand…I… I'm so
sorry…"
"I know it was an accident, you must feel
awful…"
"I'm okay…" I lied.
"How can you say that? You're not okay, I
can see it on your face. And you're limping again.
You…"
"No, it's not what you think, I…I got injured
during training."
"Don't lie to me, please. Look at you! What
have they done to you? I barely recognized you when
I saw you. You must be in so much pain… You can't
stay here, Faith… after what happened to
Naome…they will destroy you."
This conversation was going the wrong way, I didn't
want Maggy to risk her life by protecting mine.
"I'm fine, I promise you."
"I don't understand why Stern let this
happen… She said you were meant to save us all."
K, we need to tell her the truth. I thought.
Don't! You don't know if you can trust her.
Yes, I do. She's my friend…
You don't know how she will react. You're
taking a considerable risk.
Please, trust me on this. "Don't say that
Maggy…" I went on. I needed to tell her without
Stern knowing. Suddenly I had an idea.
171
"You know what? Let's meet tonight, just us girls."
"I… Are you sure? I mean…You must be
exhausted…"
"I need to take my mind off it…Come on, just
like in the old days?"
"Well…Okay…"
"Let's meet in your loft?"
"Alright. I'll let you rest now. See you later
then…"and she left me with only two hours to get rid
of surveillance.
As I was entering the hall after a fake nap, my
indomitable spirits were immediately dampened by
the changes I could read on my timetable:
7th July Medical appointments will be postponed
until 11'00 due to Naome Drest's funeral.
12'30-2'30 fighting,
3'00-5 p.m. training 2
8th July
9'30 a.m. Dr. Bochi,
10'30 - 12'30 training 1,
2-6 p.m. training 2.
9
th
July surgery
Kellan, Stern has scheduled my surgery on 9
th
July… She threatened me with it, after what I did to
Naome… I never thought it would be that soon…
I know, it is what I was afraid of. I'm just
outside her office…
Bochi didn't appreciate my refusal to let him see you.
She said she would sort it out with me when she is
172
back. Don't worry, this bitch won't touch you ever
again. I'll find a solution…
You mean she is leaving? It gives us forty-
eight hours. I said, crushed by despair.
I will have found a solution before that. Are
you going to Maggy's now?
Yes. Are you sure they won't be able to hear
me?
Wolf did what you asked, you have an hour.
But remember they can still see you…I left some food
in front of your door. I figured you would be
hungry…
Thank you…I didn't add anything else, letting
the news of Naome's funeral and my second
operation sink in.
I arrived in front of Maggy's door with a tray full of
bread, cheese and olives – grateful for Kellan's
choice – but distrustful for I had sensed that someone
else was inside with her.
Someone that fast? It could only be one person.
Maybe it was better this way, at least he wouldn't
remain in the dark. I reluctantly knocked at the door,
not knowing how Ben would react and saw him in
front of me two seconds later.
"Hey Ben… I'm…I…"
He suddenly put my tray aside and hugged me
tightly saying "Happy to see you sister…Come on
in."
173
I smiled as he was releasing me, spotting only
one camera in the hall. The surveillance was
drastically reduced in this apartment as I expected.
Maggy was on her sofa, a bowl of popcorn in
her hands. "What would be a girls' night without
good snacks?" she asked, smiling too.
I sat down next to her, putting the tray on her
living-room table, my back at the camera.
Ben followed.
When they both maintained a stony silence, I
suggested "Maybe we could watch a movie?"
"Good idea" said Ben. "Have you got
anything new Maggy?" he asked inspecting her 4D
movie collection. "Or maybe a classic? Cloud
Atlas?"
"Great!" she answered.
The familiar room turned into a real – or
almost real – landscape once more. I was sure I
would never tire of being in the audience. The movie
started.
"Wait, there no sound" Ben said, standing up,
ready to troubleshoot once more.
"Ben, sit down and pretend everything is
normal…" I quickly said.
"Faith, what's going on?" It was Maggy this
time.
"I'm sorry Maggy. I couldn't lie to you any
longer. We don't have much time. Look natural and
don't turn around. There's a camera in our back."
"I don't understand…A camera?" she asked.
"They're watching us…"
174
"Who are you talking about? How do you
know?" asked Ben, slightly turning around.
"Ben, stay still, please. Trust me…I'll explain
everything in a minute."
"I give you thirty seconds for old times' sake,
then I'm out of here" he finished.
"Stern is not who she says she is. She lied to
us all. Stern Corporation is not working for the
United States. They're a private organization working
for the highest bidder."
"How can you say that?" Maggy asked.
"I saw it."
"Where?" Ben continued.
"It's complicated, I…" I tried to explain
myself.
"First Naome, then this! If you think we're
going to believe you without proof, you've got
another think coming!" he replied.
"It's my ability…" I answered, bitter by his
change of attitude.
"Your ability? I thought nothing had changed
since your last appointment? Or did you lie about that
too…?" said Maggy.
"No, I've just discovered what it is. I…I can
take someone else's ability, use it as my own."
"How?" It was Ben this time.
"With a single touch for normal humans, but I
need to have a physical contact with a chip for it to
work on a supra."
"You said that you saw Stern was lying…"
Ben continued.
175
"Once I touch someone or someone's chip I
take on everything; their ability, their emotions, and
memories…I live everything they have but in a few
seconds. I saw Stern in someone else's memory."
"Whose?" asked Maggy.
"I can't tell you that…I promise I
wouldn't…"
"Prove it…" It was Ben again.
"You need to inflict me with pain at the same
time so Bochi doesn't become suspicious of my
data…"
"I don't understand…" Maggy continued.
"Stern regularly sends Jeanne and Jared on
missions… They were in India after the
earthquake…they saved all these people…"
"I know you're scared but you have to believe
me. Stern has been using you, all of us, just for
money. And it is just the top of the iceberg. God only
knows what else she's up to. We need to stop her."
Ben suddenly stood up, his back to the camera.
"I'm sorry, I'm not buying any of it. Maggy,
do what you want, but I'm out of here…"
"Ben I wouldn't lie to you…" I said, trying to
convince him. But it was too late, Ben was already
out of Maggy's apartment.
"Maggy, what do you want me to do? I can
leave too if that's what you want…" I asked her, still
not moving my head. I could sense she was
submerged with sadness and anger.
"Show me…" she finally said.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, do it now before I change my mind!"
176
"Okay, you need to hurt me."
"How?"
"My knee… pretend to lean on it for a second
and let me touch your neck. I will shout to make it
more plausible, don't be afraid…you won't really
hurt me..."
As Maggy was pretending to want to leave
the room, she pushed herself up, with her right hand
on my injured knee.
I started shouting and I pretended to push her
away, touching her neck before being once more
carried along in someone else's life…
Show me where you come from Maggy… Show me
the very beginning.
Sand, an ocean of sand was the first image forming in
front of me, followed by a dozen of wooden
bungalows in a circle. It was warm here, warm and
dry. Utah.
Rare were the trees giving resting shadows to the
village. On a hill, slightly on my left, I could
distinguish a big red-brick house. I could hear a
plaintive cry in this otherwise silent vision.
I left the window from which I had just had a
glance at the village and turned around. There was a
woman resembling Maggy, lain on a bed. She was
shabbily dressed. She was alone, having given birth
to a beautiful baby girl she was rocking in her arms.
The ray of sun entering the only window of this
bedroom was blinding me. I was leaving them
already.
177
The next picture I was invited in was depicting the
same bedroom where Maggy had been brought into
the world.
She seemed peaceful, not older than six. Next
to her, a little boy playing with rags.
Jonah.
I could feel Maggy's protective instinct towards her
brother. No one would touch Jonah under her
supervision, not a single soul.
Her mother was pregnant again and wasn't
strong enough to raise them both.
Maggy wasn't much older than Jonah – there was just
a one-year difference between them.
But the prophet had chosen her.
Who's the prophet Maggy?
All the colors vanished into thin air.
I sat down on a wooden bench that I was sharing with
Maggy and her brother. We were waiting in a sort of
sanctuary.
The light here was bright and virginally white. A
wooden altar was raised in front of us. There was no
painting, no stained glass window, nor cross. The
only furniture seemed handmade, forming an
absolute safe haven for women and children alike.
Some were running, others were sleeping in
their mother's arms, or playing with rags.
They were all dressed soberly with a light-brown
tunic or dungarees for the boys. When the prophet –
Warren – appeared, they all went silent.
178
"Welcome to you all on this marvelous
Sunday where the Lord has called on us, all of us
once more…"
I could feel Maggy's awe for this man – the
only one in the assembly – awe mixed with a sense of
distrust she was forbidding herself to admit. She
would soon be ready to accomplish her duty as a wife
for the man the prophet would choose for her – a pure
man from their twin congregation. She would give
herself to this man once a month and live the rest of
her secluded life here, away from temptation, like her
mother before her.
Why did you leave them, Maggy? Tell me…
"Jonah? Jonah, where are you?" Maggy was running
around in panic, looking everywhere for her brother.
The sky was pitch black and the moon was
hidden by looming clouds.
I could feel my throat constrict as warm tears
were rolling down on both our cheeks. She had a last
place to check before giving way to despair but it was
forbidden, she knew it. She didn't care, she had a
mission; she had to look after him. She should have
woken up when he had left their bedroom but it
wasn't like him, sneaking out into the night.
She walked to the red-bricked house where a
light was still burning.
She knew there were cameras but it was merely a
precaution against prowlers. She felt she needed to
avoid being seen, she didn't know why…
She knew the field so well that she managed to find a
secured spot next to the window of Warren's house.
179
Strangely, there was light. So late at night? Maggy
gave way to her curiosity and looked inside.
She was petrified with horror by what she saw
through the slightly opened curtains. A fire was lit
and a large crimson red rug was bathing the room in a
strange atmosphere. Five familiar faces were
gathered in a circle, wearing white nightgowns.
Maggy recognized them all; they were her neighbors'
daughters, slightly older than her. In the middle of his
living room, Warren was lying Lydia, who was
motionless and in tears, on the blanket. Warren was
gently caressing her hair when he tore her nightgown
apart, showing her nakedness with pride.
Warren got undressed and two seconds afterwards
they were somewhat merged into one single entity.
Maggy had never seen anything like it. When they
stopped moving, Warren summoned another girl –
Becca – to lie down next to him. He pushed away
Lydia, who was still crying, and she retired in a
corner of the room.
Maggy knew what she had just witnessed was
morally wrong, every cell of her body did. I could
feel outrage and disgust rising in her, she had to do
something. She slowly stood up when she felt a hand
on her mouth, restraining her every movement.
She tried to struggle with the stranger but he was too
strong and Maggy didn't dare call for help, she didn't
want Warren to know what she had seen.
Her kidnapper carried her several feet away,
still holding her mouth tightly shut with his hand.
Warren wouldn't be able to hear them now…
180
Maggy bit deep into his hand and turned
around to kick him when she realized it was Jonah,
trying to contain his anger in a muffled voice.
"Jonah, I'm sorry…What…What are you doing
here?"
Right behind him, almost invisible in the
night, I distinguished another shadow – Sophie.
"We're getting out of here. I…I won't let him
touch Sophie…" Jonah explained.
"You knew? For how long?" Maggy asked
still shocked.
"Several weeks now…I couldn't sleep one
night and saw what he did to those girls… In his
house…I…I can't stay here anymore. We've been
planning to leave tonight…"
"Without letting me know…?"
"I didn't know how to explain it to
you…I…We would have come back for you…Before
it's too late."
"How do you know he won't try to lure me
into his house?"
"You need to start bleeding to be a part of the
fertility ceremony. My mom told me…" It was
Sophie this time.
"Bleeding? I don't understand…"
"You need to be a woman and be mature
enough to conceive a child. My first bleeding started
two days ago…I've been trying to conceal it but
mother saw me…I don't want to end up like this…"
She was on the verge of tears now.
181
"Jonah, we don't know what's on the other
side… Maybe what they told us about what's beyond
the mountain is right…"
"I don't believe a single word this man said. It
doesn't feel right Maggy…"
Maggy suddenly hugged her brother tightly
and whispered in his ear "Be careful…"
"Always am." he answered. "Come with us
Maggy…"
"What about Maddie, Glen and the others? I
can't leave them behind…" she said thinking about
her other siblings. "Go now, good luck to you
both…"
Sadness and grief started enveloping me as a gust of
wind was erasing this last image.
I could barely breathe here. There was sand on my
lips, in my nostrils, everywhere. We were soaked up
by the noonday sun. Another circle had formed in the
middle of the village. Warren was holding a book in
one hand.
"We are all gathered here today to witness the
judgment of these two individuals who have broken
the very essence of this congregation; our
trust…They disobeyed and left without warning their
families in the only purpose of fornicating.
They have been defiled by lust and therefore are in
Satan's hands. We cannot allow these two to further
soil our community…"
"Mum, say something…Mum, it's Jonah, you
know he would never do something like this…"
182
It was Maggy begging in her mother's ear. She
couldn't believe her indifference to what was
happening in front of them.
Jonah and Sophie were holding each other's
hand, Sophie was weeping while Jonah was looking
defiantly at the crowd.
"Therefore God the Almighty, through my
hands, will purify those souls by our most powerful
weapon, fire…" Warren continued speaking while
heading for a jerry can on the porch of one of the
houses.
"Nooooo…" Maggy shouted while Warren
was pouring gasoline over their head.
Maggy's other siblings were now restraining
and silencing her.
"Let God the Powerful cleanse these evil
spirits and bring them to His sanctuary…"
Warren took a lighter out of his left pocket.
Maggy threw a last glance at her brother who
muttered an ultimate sentence to her: "I love you…"
He encircled Sophie in his arms and closed his eyes.
Warren lit the fire.
An odor of burning flesh invaded my nostrils
and my ears were filled with the sound of Sophie's
screams.
A torrent of anger unleashed in Maggy as she
promised herself to kill the monster who had fathered
her and her siblings.
The sunlight turned into infinite sparkles, leading me
to another fragment of her past.
183
Maggy was in the circle now, with four other girls –
two of them crying, the others silent – a knife hidden
between her legs.
She knew Warren would choose her first, for
her behavior during her brother's ordeal. She had
waited for this moment, for six months.
She lay down as ordered, and discreetly hid
the knife under the rug while he was slowly getting
undressed, facing her sisters.
When Warren appeared to be stark naked he
approached her and tore off her nightgown. She
opened her legs, knowing that resisting would only
increase his excitement. He was leaning over her
now, ready to possess her – she could smell his heavy
breath – when she violently hit his neck with the
knife she had concealed and secretly sharpened for
weeks.
Once, twice, three times.
She could taste his blood on her tongue, her body
now concealed with a layer of ruby red.
Maggy could read surprise in the monster's
eyes – surprise and fear for what was to come. She
stood up and he knelt before her, his hands covering
his wound. But nothing could stop gushes of blood
from streaming out of his neck, forming a pool
around him. He collapsed on his wet blanket.
The other girls looked aghast, rooted to the
spot, and unable to say anything, some stifling their
shrill scream with their hands on their mouth.
After hearing the monster let out his last
breath, Maggy addressed her sisters: "Run now, and
never look back."
184
As she exited the living room, the knife still
in her hands, I could sense Maggy's disgust for what
she had done. She would never be able to undo it, or
to forget it. She was cursed.
The whole scene turned into a wave of blood.
How did you end up here?
The dizzying red image surrounding me slowly
shifted into brown and finally green. Walnut, elm and
oak trees formed an almost human barrier in this
peaceful landscape.
Maggy was moaning in her sleep. She was
only covered by a sleeping bag. I knew her feelings
so well – devastating guilt and abject horror. She
woke up suddenly, screaming.
I saw a boy running to meet her. Oh my… it
was Toby. With long hair, no glasses but I recognized
him instantly.
"Another nightmare?" he asked Maggy. But
she didn't replied. Instead of questioning her, he gave
her what he had been hiding in his pocket.
"Nice catch today. You should have seen this guy, a
total jerk. He didn't even protest when I stole his
wallet." Toby was emptying the content of it on the
ground, looking for money, when he eyed something
silver and sparkly.
A business card.
Maggy saw it too and picked it up.
"SC? What does it mean?" she asked.
I opened my eyes still in dreadful shock. I didn't care
about the cameras anymore, I needed to hold her.
185
I took Maggy in my arms and hugged her, as close as
I could, so close I sensed that she was totally at loss.
So I broke my embrace to enlighten her on
my behavior: "I've never met anyone so brave... I… I
wish I had your courage and your strength. Don't feel
guilty for what you did for you saved all those girls."
I saw her face turn as white as a sheet.
She wanted to say something but the sound
was turned up at this exact moment and we could
both hear Halle Berry recite her lines with passion.
I shook my head to silence her and we both faced the
mythical characters of Cloud Atlas.
But this time, I was holding her hand while
she was silently crying. I had so much difficulty in
containing my anger at all the suffering she had had
to endure – the light started flickering on and off.
I was sensing people approaching at the end of the
hall.
Kellan, they're coming for me. It's…shit, it's
Bochi.
I'm on my way. Hang on.
Soon afterwards someone was banging on the
door.
Maggy looked at me enquiringly. "Who could
that be? It's late…"
I shrugged, knowing exactly who was coming
for me.
Maggy opened the door and Bochi burst in,
accompanied by his secretary and a man I had never
186
seen before. I could feel their tension and anger
rising.
"You're coming with me now. Your chip has
recorded another peak." Bochi said coldly.
"It's nothing, don't worry. Wolf already fixed
my knee…" I tried to explain.
"Let me be the judge of that…I'm in charge
when Stern is away."
And seeing that I wasn't moving, Bochi, apparently
furious, gripped my hand without any warning. My
eyes rolled upwards and I was overwhelmed with
feelings and images I could not control this time.
I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to be the
witness of Bochi's sordid life. But the scenery I was
looking at turned out not to depict any of the
sordidness I had expected. And maybe this time I
would be able to navigate in his memories as I
wished.
Professor Bochi – William – had had an
ordinary childhood but had an extraordinary brain.
He had always felt out of place, totally alien to this
world. Chemistry, physics, biology, mathematics…
He mastered everything, had skipped several years to
obtain his degree in neuroscience in his twenties.
Each succession of images was similar to the
previous one: William studying, at the school library,
at his parents' house, in his dorm. The only
difference was his physical appearance that slightly
evolved.
He had no friends, no siblings, nor girlfriend, barely
communicated with his parents for whom he had only
187
disdain for their lack of education. Knowledge had
been his pursuit.
I witnessed his first surgery, the second, the
third and all those following. He had been the most
famous and youngest neurosurgeon in Europe. He
had reigned over all the scheduled brain surgeries of
the most renowned hospitals for decades.
His knowledge had now become mine. I knew
how to remove brain tumors – which ones to remove,
which ones to leave intact – I knew how to perform a
trepanation on six-month-old babies or fix
craniostenosis, I knew how to perform an awake
surgery to check the language function of the brain…
But why? Why have you come here? I was
slowly regaining control over my visions…
"Let's face it William, your hands are not as
steady as they used to be…Rafto is your best student.
He is a great surgeon. We think it's time you took
early retirement before losing your edge…"
Wrath was mounting, destroying everything
on its way. Bochi left without uttering a single word.
They seemed too obsolete. He left and never came
back.
In the hall he took a last glance at the card he had
received two weeks before – a silver card, with no
name on it – only two letters…The familiar blur took
over.
They were both in her office.
188
"You know I'm right. Look around you. Life
on Earth is no longer sustainable because of
humanity or the lack thereof.
We need to act now. My program would ensure the
survival of the best of us. We need human beings to
be generous, open-minded, and respectful, with a
sense of honor and bravery. We could do it. We
could start from scratches and reshape a world that is
meant to survive. You and I… Avenging my people
and yours too…" Stern was explaining, two files on
her desk, one of them entitled C.A.N.D.E.L.S., an
acronym for Children of Auschwitz Nazi's Deadly
Lab Experiments Survivors.
"What's in it for me?" Bochi asked her even
if I could already feel this idea slowly preying on his
mind.
"You get to practice as long as you want and
pass along your knowledge to others, plus an
indecent amount of money each month. You'll be in
charge of the surgeries in these premises and I'll be
in charge of the recruits, leading the program."
As he was remaining silent, she added:
"This could be it, you know…What do you think?
"Why me?" he asked hesitantly.
Instead of giving any reason whatsoever, she
handed him one of the files on her desk.
It was a yellowed file that he slowly opened, not
understanding her gesture.
In it, we could read the surgical details of an external
CFS drainage on a little girl who had suffered from
hydrocephalus, and, at the bottom of the last page,
Bochi's signature.
189
As he was looking at her with intense eyes, she didn't
fail to notice his surprise and admiration. Jilla Ernst
had been her name then.
"I owe you my life and so much more…" she
stopped there.
A strong wind took the images away and I was
quickly transported somewhere else.
I was in an operating room now, I recognized
the white walls and surgical tools on a tray. In front
of me a limp body was on the surgical table, his face
down – the familiar machines linked to tubes coming
out of his arms. Jared. He wasn't even moving while
Bochi was drilling a hole in the visual area of his
skull. Fifth attempt. Make it work, make it work…
Bochi's thoughts were loud and clear.
I knew the exact procedure, I knew he was about to
insert the needle next to stimulate unused parts of
Jared's brain. I knew excessive bleeding was the
major risk of this surgery.
It had been the cause of his last failure.
I also knew he had been too impatient the first times,
inserting the needle too deeply, causing brain damage
to almost all of his patients.
I could feel his excitement at the prospect of
succeeding. Everything turned into a blur.
The next surgery was similar to the first one, but this
time it was Kellan's.
Professor Bochi was already inserting the needle into
his Wernicke's area – center of his language
comprehension – animated by the same hope and
190
fascination he had had during his twin brother's
surgery. If these two operations were to be successful
and his creations viable, he would have ensured
himself an even brighter future, he thought.
Dread was filling me when I noticed Kellan's
sudden arrhythmia and I became frantic, his body
having suddenly been replaced by another one.
This new body gave up fighting without letting
Professor Bochi perform CPR.
The person I saw next on the table never woke up
after surgery.
Every new image gave way to another, each surgery
to a new one. The only different element was the
position of the patient's head and the zone where
Bochi's potentially fatal drill occurred.
Then it was Jeanne's turn.
I was amazed at how little information Bochi
had about his patient. He was just interested in the
groundbreaking aspect of each surgery but he no
longer saw any of them as real human beings.
After having successfully used the Somatosensory
Area on Jeanne, he tried the Sensory Area on two
patients before succeeding with Wolf.
As for Ben, he was an immediate success. It was
Bochi's first attempt to drill in the Cerebellum –
center to the motor section of the brain – and it
191
rapidly proved to be efficient. Ben's hands were
already moving so rapidly when he woke up…
Three other surgeries failed before Toby's Higher
Mental function alteration, three young people died
in the name of a supposedly scientific discovery to
improve the future and our lives.
Maggy's surgery was the most painful to watch.
Her heart had been on the verge of giving up
several times.
Her operation had been so similar to Toby's,
both involving the frontal lobe but not at the same
place. This was intentional of course. Bochi was
detailing every surgical procedure in his files, with
the intent of controlling the outcome of each
alteration. But no matter what he tried to accomplish,
nothing turned out to be what he had expected, as if
these surgeries had a mind of their own.
Then I sensed a shift, in him, in his work.
He was getting impatient, piercing two
different holes in each patient's skull now. It was
never enough.
None of the following 'volunteers' survived
the surgical trauma but he still wanted more…
Two cavities became three, still no survivor.
So many deaths for one man's vanity, it was
outrageous.
I recognized myself on the table now, my skull
partially shaved.
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I was filled with horror, and curiosity, for I
was about to witness what this bastard had done to
me.
He started piercing a hole in my frontal lobe
and inserted a needle, deeply. He removed it and
started the procedure all over again, but this time, on
another part of my brain – the Cerebral cortex. Then
he turned to the Parietal lobe, the Occipital one, the
Temporal lobe and the Cerebellum.
How did I survive all this?
The next image showed me how careful he
was to apply a special ointment to cover the
consequences of his butchery, on all but one area.
Wait, maybe he knows.
Are there others, others like me?
I suspected he didn't know for his memory showed
me absolutely no clue…
Everything turned black, as black as night, when I got
to see his last operation; Naome's.
Oh my God, not her, not her…
Bochi was in front of me, trying to replicate
the exact procedure he had used on me, inserting his
needle still deeper.
Quickly I was startled by the machine beeping,
signaling her flat line. Naome Drest was gone…and I
had witnessed her murder.
Why? Why her? I was repeating to myself, but
I already knew who had been behind it.
I woke up with a start to find Bochi exactly where I
had left him, next to me, so close.
193
This was when I lost control.
I stood up, shouting at him. I was frantic. "You
bastard! You killed her, you bastard! You murderer!
You killed them all!"
I hit him hard in the face, and kicked his right knee
with all my strength. I knew exactly where to hit.
His bodyguard tried to stop me but it was no
use, I knocked him out, Bochi, already lying on the
floor writhing with pain, his leg broken. He wouldn't
be able to escape me now.
Bochi's assistant was screaming in horror,
and I could hear Maggy shouting my name, asking
me what was wrong but I didn't respond.
I saw William was bleeding heavily now, still
laying on the floor as I was ready to give him his
deathblow.
I was trying to savor this moment for he had
destroyed so many lives, mine included. I sat down
on his rib cage and gripped his throat, harder and
harder. He was making strange noises, blood bubbles
coming out of his mouth.
The room was silent now, his assistant had
passed out and Maggy had found a comforting spot in
a corner, unable to react.
I knew what I was doing, I knew I was strangling
him. My hands wouldn't let go until he disappeared
from the face of the Earth.
But suddenly I stopped.
I couldn't. I wouldn't have another death on my
conscience…
I burst into tears when someone took me in
his arms. I knew who it was.
194
Faith…
He deserves it, K. He did it… He… But I
can't. I can't do it.
Faith, what's going on?
I… I was lost, or on the point of losing
myself. I started sobbing even more.
Did you see? Did you see what he did to her? He
killed Naome, he… He butchered her.
All of a sudden, Kellan released me.
Still in shock, it took me several seconds to
notice that we were encircled by a dozen heavily
armed men aiming at us. I refused to put my hands up
as I had other plans for all of them.
Don't! That's exactly what they want you to
do…They must never see what you're really capable
of…His thoughts were broken off as one soldier
knocked Kellan out.
I felt a pinch on my neck. My eyelids were
suddenly so heavy… I was tired…
I gave up fighting and it was my turn to collapse on
the floor…
–
CHAPTER 7 –
Ghostly Past
195
I opened my eyes, still feeling dizzy. My whole body
was cold because of the surface it was lying on, so I
decided to sit down. My senses were alert.
Everything was dark around me but I was quickly
adjusting to the luminosity or, for better words, the
absence of it.
K? Oh my Gosh, Kellan. Kellan, can you hear
me? Where are you? Why aren't you answering?
I needed to get out of here and find him.
I started observing my surroundings. My cell was
fifty square feet and totally empty. There was no bed,
no chair, nothing. All I could sense around and under
me was water, dark water. We must be deep.
They must have taken me to one of the isolation
rooms on the last floor, the thirteenth floor…I had
found this item of information in Bochi's mind.
I heard cameras everywhere and something – or
someone – else.
I need to find a door.
I started checking the smooth walls imprisoning me,
on the lookout for any tiny detail that could hide a
way out, but there was nothing. I was alone, once
more.
Kellan? "Kellan?" I was screaming his
name now, banging on the walls.
"Somebody? Somebody hear me! Come on! Come
over here you cowards! Come on!"
Warm tears – of anger and bitterness – were clouding
my vision as I went on shouting, calling his name.
196
After what felt like half an hour, I stopped shouting,
there was no use.
I sat down in a corner and held my knees
tightly. And I started thinking. I was thinking about
the best way to use my new powers.
I could control the elements around me, I could hear,
see, taste better than anyone else on Earth and I had
now a comprehensive knowledge of the premises
where I was locked up.
But I also remembered what Kellan had told me.
Maybe he had been right, maybe they wanted to
gauge my reactions…
Even though I knew the risks, I couldn't leave him,
nor Maggy in Stern's hands. I needed to do
something. Think! Think…I was repeating myself and
at the same time, I was trying to find a way out. Not
finding any, I could still feel the effect of the drugs
they had injected me with.
I was suddenly blinded by a powerful bright
light and felt a pure surge of adrenalin as I saw Jared
with his black eyes in front of me.
Jeanne and Toby were next, looking at me
with a murderous look. They had all come from the
ceiling, like the mechanism I had used to enter
Stern's office – which answered my question as how
to get out of here.
Of course Jeanne opened hostilities, not
losing time as usual "Poor darling, all alone and
crying in the dark?"
"Stop it Jeanne, let's get this over with.
Toby?" Jared asked with a penetrating voice.
197
I felt my feet get off the ground, Toby had
stretched out his hand in my direction.
I was stuck in the upper left corner of my
prison, my head touching the ceiling. I was unable to
move. Stay calm, stay calm.
K, if you can hear me, I'm on the thirteenth floor…
K?
"Well Faith, Look at you! I must say I'm not
impressed at all. Taking all these measures for a
weak little girl?" Jeanne pretended to ask Toby, "I
think Stern overestimated you…"
"What do you want from me?" I ventured.
"Well, don't be so surprised, it's payback
time, honey. I can't believe my brother let you
manipulate him. Toby, a little bit lower would
you…" Jared added.
I could feel my back moving against the cold
wall, my whole body going down, stopped mid-way
to the floor.
"Now you will feel what pain is…" Jeanne
was moving her palms in the direction of the hatch
they had used to come down here, then back at me.
Small bubbles of light were floating down, landing
on her. Her sparkling hands became the only source
of light in the room. She directed her hands at me.
She started laughing delightedly while burning my
thighs. The reigning smell was of burnt clothes and
flesh. Fortunately, the serum was, still, very effective,
I was totally insensitive to pain.
"What's happening, she should be groaning
with pain by now..." asked Toby.
198
"Are you sure you're as powerful as you
claim to be?" I said, mocking them all.
Jeanne looked at Toby, furiously, and at me
uncomprehendingly. She gave it another try. This
time, she aimed at my breasts. I could see and smell
my flesh burning, small blisters were forming. But
my thighs were already looking better and I knew
that the scarred tissue would be gone tomorrow. I
didn't even flinch.
"Is that all you've got, Jeanne. I'm
disappointed!" I told her. I knew it would trigger an
even more violent reaction from her but I couldn't
help it. I had had enough of her, of this place, of all
the lies.
"You slut, you will see what I'm capable
of…" she answered, unable to control herself.
She took some more energy from the lights above her
head and redirected her hands at my face this time.
Toby was still immobilizing me and Jared
was waiting impatiently when I felt all her rage
unfurling.
I needed to be able to see if I wanted to get
out of here alive. Nooo… I shouted to myself and
closed my eyes.
I felt wind caressing my face.
But instead of burning, my body fell heavily on the
floor. I opened my eyes and realized I could still
see…
What happened?
In front of me Ben was racked with pain, his
torso severely burnt. I bent over and took him in my
arms.
199
"What the fuck, Jeanne? Look at what you've
done!" Jared said enraged.
"He's never hurt anybody!" I was looking at
her while she was looking at him with terror.
Toby was numb, not knowing what to do
while Jared was sitting down next to me, holding Ben
too. "Ben, hang in there buddy…I'm sorry…"
I interrupted him "What are you doing here,
Ben?"
"M…Maggy said you were telling the
truth…I…" he slowly whispered.
"Shhhh… It's okay Ben, you're okay." I was
trying to comfort him, and myself.
"I… I looked for you…everywhere…"
"Ben, not you…you shouldn't be here. I'm so
sorry…" I apologized.
"It's alright…I…I'm sorry I doubted you…
I…I couldn't…I didn't…Do… what you need to
do…and get out of here…please."
Silent tears were slowly trickling down my
cheeks as I applied my right hand on his neck.
What do you want me to see Ben?
Baby Ben was wrapped in a blanket.
It was cold – winter was harsh here – and
noisy. Cars were honking at every street corner.
He could smell polluted air as his mum was walking,
rocking him in his crib.
He couldn't speak but he had felt something awful
would happen soon.
A door had closed behind us but the warm air
inside failed to reassure him. His mum handed him
200
over to someone he didn't know. He could sense her
choking back tears.
"Are you sure?" He heard another woman ask
his mum.
She didn't reply. "I love you…" she
whispered in his ear before he heard the same door
closing again.
He couldn't have been older than eight but Benjamin
was already helping his mum – or rather the person
he called mum – this time carrying the groceries
inside after a long walk back from the supermarket.
As the eldest of five children, he was the only
one his mum could count on, especially after his
dad's hasty departure. He knew she could be bossy
but nothing had justified his choice to leave; nothing
except Samuel.
His baby brother had been fighting for his life since
leukemia had wiped out any hope for a normal life or
an easy one.
Not surprisingly Bill – his old man – had wanted a
way out. He was the head of the family now. And
with this thought I could feel the heavy sense of
responsibility he was burdening himself with.
It was a blur of colors and patterns now…
When I saw Ben next, he was older. But not
old enough to do what he was doing – working two
jobs just to pay the bills, barely able to cope with the
tiredness that such a lifestyle implied but too proud to
admit it.
201
This wasn't the life he had envisioned for
himself but he had to forget about design, he knew it.
His career choice had always felt odd in his mother's
eyes and it strongly contrasted with what a boy of his
age and neighborhood was supposed to opt for.
He was going home, late at night after his
shift at the restaurant.
The boys were there too of course, filling in
the steps of neighboring ramshackle houses, like the
piles of garbage filling in their Detroit streets and that
no one cared to remove, he thought.
"Hey yo, what's up man?" It was Gibbs, with
his large square shoulders and his cap too small for
him. "Hey listen, bro,'ve got nice job coming, we're
short one man…"
"Thanks Gibbs, I need to go…" Ben quickly
replied as he was entering the crowded apartment.
Inside, he bumped into the twins jumping up and
down, running around everywhere, shouting, doing
everything except listening to their older sister.
"Ruth? What's going on here? Tim, Kyla, sit
down now!" he ordered them.
"But we're hungry!" Ruth appeared out of
the kitchen.
"Where is mum?" Ben asked.
"She left with Samuel three hours ago… His
temperature was too high. There is nothing left to eat
and no money in the jar…I…"
"It's okay, I'm going to the store, keep an eye
on them, okay?" He left the room bitter, knowing
exactly what it meant – hospital bills. He needed to
find a solution and quickly.
202
On his way out, he saw Gibbs again but this
time stopped in front of him.
Everything darkened around me…
He was scared and trapped in a chaotic situation he
could not rectify anymore. I knew that it was how he
was feeling.
Ben was behind the wheels, waiting for Gibbs
and RJ – Gibbs' younger brother – in front of the gas
station. It was their third night on the road but Ben
wasn't getting used to any of it. He was overwhelmed
with shame and hadn't been able to watch himself in
the mirror lately, not after what he had done.
He knew he had run out of options, he knew it was
the only way to save his brother and to feed his
family, he had no choice – at least it was what he was
trying to convince himself of…
His blood started pulsing hard when he heard
another car from a distance.
What are they doing? Come on…Come on…Panic
was suddenly mounting in his guts. Hurry…Now.
He rapidly caught a glimpse of Gibbs walking
towards him with his dark bag full of their loot.
Ben opened the door and let him sit down at
the back of the car. "Where is RJ?" he asked.
"He's coming, no worries bro…"
"Gibbs, we need to get the fuck out."
"Relax, bro. There he is…"
"Man, he needs to hurry…" Ben was almost
losing it.
We heard a shot and all of a sudden we saw
RJ running out of the gas station shop, his hands
203
empty, calling his brother. Midway he suddenly
collapsed, a pool of blood forming around him.
"RJ…" Gibbs was shouting his name.
Panic was troubling both their judgment and ability
to act. Gibbs didn't dare get out of the car but Ben
couldn't resolve to leave him behind.
He quickly moved and ran to his partner in
crime, took RJ in his arms and comforted him. "It's
okay, you're gonna be fine. Don't worry. Let me take
you to the hospital now."
But when he looked up, Ben saw Gibbs had already
switched on the ignition, letting the tires screech in
the night…
Ben was alone in his next fragment – alone and
blaming himself for everything that had happened the
days before.
He wouldn't give them what they wanted, he
wouldn't give them Gibbs.
His cell was small and smelled of piss, the
walls were painted in a soft gray that failed to hide
their purpose. His bed looked a lot like the bunk bed I
had slept on my first night in Stern's premises.
He could hear other prisoners cry or whine
and he could smell the odor of alcohol impregnated
on their clothes, at every exhalation. Everything
about this place disgusted him but he was even more
disgusted by his acts.
This was it, retribution day. He couldn't sleep, he
couldn't close his eyes without being crushed by a
feeling of dread.
204
He could hear footsteps now, of several
people walking. He must have been daydreaming for
they were sounding like high heels.
In front of him, I recognized Jeanne and
Jared.
"Looks like you need company, pretty
face…" Jeanne said, already sounding like Stern.
I woke up from these visions, sweating. Even though
I knew Stern's recruitment pattern, I truly understood
the depth of her victims' disarray as I was living their
life through their memories.
I knew what was on Ben's mind now
"I promise I will help them, I won't let your
family down…You have my word Ben…" I
whispered in his ear, just in time, just before he let
out his last breath.
"Noooo…" Jared shouted, still holding Ben's
lifeless body and rocking him.
I looked up and saw Toby walking backwards
in horror, ready to exit the room.
Jeanne was looking at Jared, not knowing
what to do.
It was now or never. I needed to choose
between those three to survive…
But could I trust myself with Jeanne's power?
One thing was certain, I couldn't let Toby escape and
alert Stern. I pulled him back inside, holding him by
his shirt before he had had the time to realize what
had hit him.
205
I had just experienced the extent of my new
ability and they were, all three, scrutinizing me with
wary eyes. This was when I made up my mind, as
Toby was offering me the possibility to destroy the
whole facility.
This life was one of a spoilt kid whose rich parents
had never grown tired of excessively saying yes to.
Each succession of past events depicted the brand
new bikes, clothes, toys Toby had received,
immediately followed by the next best thing he
absolutely needed to possess.
His indecent lifestyle had attracted the
jealousy of others and he had paid the price, being the
constant victim of their bullying. He had come home,
on several occasions, covering his bruises. He had
never been able to talk about it with his parents, for
they had never been around. He had never truly
known if they would have cared anyway.
His parents had invested in schist extraction,
regardless of all environmental issues and had rapidly
built their Texan fortune.
The flow of images slowed down and stopped,
pausing on one memory.
All three were chatting around a huge table in the
middle of their red dining room. The gold
chandeliers, tapestries and richly ornate drapes, the
206
famous paintings on the walls: everything exuded
enormous wealth and sheer luxury.
"Why not law, honey? He sure could do it…"
"As long as I get to have my own
apartment…" said Toby, faking his lack of interest
for studies. He knew he could achieve – or buy –
anything. He would probably get bored at university
as well.
"It's settled then. Anyway, it's your turn to
bring money to this family. Your dad needs a rest…"
His parents started laughing.
The image turned rapidly into fog…
Night. It was dark all around me.
I was back in Toby's bedroom. He had
surprised his parents by spending the night at home,
like before. He had wanted to take a break from
university, had outgrown the parties and girlfriends,
and was certainly bored with the lack of intellectual
stimulation he had encountered on campus. He would
tell them he was planning to stop in the morning. For
now he was looking at his ceiling, smiling because he
could hear them laugh in the living room, so late at
night.
Then he heard a hushed, a sudden and weird
silence fell over the mansion.
Followed by a muffled click sound. It startled Toby.
"No!" He heard his dad scream.
Toby quickly stood up and walked to the hall
of the second floor, which formed an open view on
the rest of the gigantic house.
207
That was when he heard men speak aggressively. He
decided to hide in the shadow, at the top of the stairs.
His dad was attached to a chair in the middle
of the living-room, his face livid, his mom was
nowhere to be seen.
"Give us the code, you bastard. Give us the code and
we'll let you die quickly, like your wife."
Toby started panicking, silently rocking is
body against the wall.
"I don't know what you're talking about…"
"Don't lie to us, Brett told us…"
Uncle Brett? Toby thought.
"Brett is behind this? He's too cowardly to
get his hands dirty, huh? Whatever he's offered you,
I'll double it…"
"I'm afraid it doesn't work that way…Now
speak!" the last man said, inserting a knife in his
victim's thighs.
Toby's dad screamed even more.
Toby put his hands on his mouth, to avoid
sobbing out loud.
"Okay, okay. Let me catch my breath, let
me..."
When his captor showed him the metal of his
blade again, Toby's father didn't hesitate "Eileen
23091956. It will give you access to every account
but not the safe."
"Don't worry about that, we know where you
hid the key and we know where to find the bastard
you call son."
"Leave him out of here, he's done no…"
208
But the first man didn't let him finish his
sentence, he simply sliced his throat, cold-bloodedly.
"Okay, let's go. We have what we came for and we
need to get rid of them all before dawn."
The intruders both spread gasoline on the
drapes, sofas and carpeted floors and one of them lit
the fire.
I was watching Toby, stuck in his corner,
unable to move, frozen with horror. The flames had
almost taken control over the first floor when he
reluctantly moved his feet to one of his bedroom
windows.
The night engulfed us both.
Toby didn't know where else to go. He was cold and
alone, in the dark. He had taken refuge in Post Oak
Savannah. No one would find him there.
But even after a week he hadn't got used to
the sounds and movements of wildlife. He hadn't
dared close his eyes at night, he was starving and
dehydrated.
Fishing. He would try it when the sun was up,
his dad had taught him…
Dad…His sobs were resonating with
bobwhites' peeps.
He woke up, feeling even more drained than a few
hours before. He had been so exhausted that he had
cried himself to sleep.
But now it was time to move, he needed to or
he would die, he knew it.
209
He stood up and headed for the stream he thought he
could hear, flowing fast. He was walking slowly,
stumbling every two minutes.
This was when he saw her – his guardian
angel – soberly dressed with a long robe, waiting for
him on the river bank.
He passed out, calling for her.
I witnessed Maggy carefully walking towards him…
"What the f…?" I could hear Toby's protests as I
realized I was back in my cell.
I released him before he could pronounce any
other word. I glanced at the cameras around me
knowing for sure that, behind them, they had already
seen too much. But I hadn't had any choice and
regrets were totally useless down here….
I could hear them, behind the paneled ceiling, in each
corner, they were recording everything. They were
observing us, they were observing me.
I turned the palms of my hands in their
direction. I focused. I quickly disabled all the
cameras, forcing the wall hiding them to collapse
with my new ability. Small cracks appeared on the
walls subsequently.
It was time to face my jailers.
Toby hadn't waited for any explanation, he
was already trying to escape for the second time.
210
I brought him back using his own tricks
against him. "Toby, stay still. I won't hurt you." I
could see fear and fascination on his face.
"You witch, what…? What did you do to me,
huh?"
"Don't be such a pussy, Toby. She's
obviously been altered the same way that you have.
Show us again!" Jeanne said.
"You've seen enough. The only thing you
need to know is that you've been deceived…"
Having said that I realized the cracks had enlarged
and with them water was trickling down the walls,
hiding behind them a pitch black ocean and its
inhabitants.
"By you, certainly!" Toby continued.
The small stream had become a continuous
flow of water, triggering an alarm, whose screeching
sound was resonating everywhere. My cell was about
to collapse.
"Jared, please take Ben out of here… Go,
now!" I demanded when I saw that no one was
moving. "Now!" I ordered "Evacuate everyone!"
hoping my voice hadn't betrayed my surge of
anxiety. I threw a last glance at them, and I saw
Jared, carrying Ben, ready to leave the room. I
levitated them out and locked the hatch behind them.
Once they were out I forced the wall to break
in front of me, a powerful stream of water surged in
the room. I took a big breath, there was no time to
lose. A strong current pushed me back, forcing
another wall to collapse. I was carried away.
But I wasn't the only one.
211
I saw another body.
Oh my Gosh… Kellan?
I was engulfed by the pitch black abyss.
212
–
CHAPTER 8 –
Relished Freedom
I propelled myself with my new speed, moving like a
dolphin.
My eyes were slowly getting used to the dark
but even with my improved sight, there was still no
sign of Kellan...
Nothing.
I started to panic.
I would run out of air eventually and would be forced
to go back to the surface.
Not without him! Not without him!
I noticed my ears were hurting.
The pressure I realized. I knew I had to equalize, to
protect my eardrums and get rid of the nitrogen
bubbles stuck in my body before reaching the
surface.
I once more used Maggy's abilities.
I felt better and started to look more closely.
Kellan, where are you? Kellan?
This was all too much, I couldn't lose him.
Not him! I needed to find another way.
I stopped, finding a new balance in this world where
there was no up or down.
Focus! Listen. I could hear fish moving,
mantas hiding. And in the middle of all these
213
incessant clattering noises, the sound of air released
in the ocean.
Kellan?
I opened my eyes, when I saw a darker patch of
black among all the different shades.
Kellan…
I hurried down, caught him by his shirt and
immediately took him in my arms.
He felt so cold.
We needed to go to the surface this instant. There
was no time to lose.
We were ascending faster and faster.
But I wouldn't let Stern get away with it…
I focused on all the pillars maintaining the facility
and forced them to collapse, one floor after another,
starting at the bottom.
This should give everyone enough time to escape, I
thought, praying, at the same time, for Kellan to
survive…
Air, I need air!
214
PART 3
"I have cast fire upon the world, and
see, I am guarding it until it blazes."
Gospel of Thomas
157'04.7"N 7315'41.4"E
215
–
CHAPTER 1 –
True Colors
It was drumming with rain when I reached the
surface, still holding Kellan close to me. The sky was
so black that I couldn't see the horizon. Or maybe it
was still night… I didn't know anymore, I was totally
disorientated. Maybe they had lied about time too…
I need to get him to safety, now.
I started swimming on my back, holding his head out
of the water, I swam and swam as hard as I could, so
fast that we were almost flying. Thank you, Ben I
thought.
I stopped, still in the middle of nowhere,
when I noticed a thin white line in total contrast with
the rest of the landscape.
An island?
I couldn't wait much longer, his pulse was so faint I
couldn't feel it anymore. I hurried, pushing my body
to its limit when my back touched sand.
I stood up and pulled Kellan out of the water.
We were encircled by a beach of white sand
and a rough ocean. Several palm trees and other trees
I didn't recognize were scattered on this deserted
island.
I decided to settle Kellan under one of them, and
pulled him by his arms.
Two gray herons were eyeing us with disconcert, not
at all preoccupied by the lashing rain.
216
"Here, let me get rid of this first" I said as I
was stripping him off his shirt to listen to his heart.
It was barely audible. I checked his pulse, it was too
faint to hear. I put my left ear on his chest again.
Nothing.
Oh God. No, no, no. Don't take him, don't take him
away from me. Not now, not now, I was pleading.
I started CPR as I recalled the nurse and
Bochi's training.
One, two, three, four, five. Breathe! I thought as I
was inflating air in his cold body.
One, two, three…
"Come on!" I was now shouting at him while
pressing on his heart.
"Come on, wake up. Damn you, Kellan, I said wake
up!" Lightning was now tearing the sky apart. He
was still unconscious. Blood was slowly dripping
from his nose.
Oh my Gosh. Think, think. Alright, it could be …
decompression sickness. I can do something about it.
I put my hands at ten inches above his body, starting
with his head, then going down, and focused on
removing all the air trapped inside of him.
I willed this air to exude from his every pore. He was
still not breathing.
Anger was deepening inside of me, and rage.
I was furious, furious at him, for letting me down. I
was crying and yelling at him, hitting his heart with
all my strength. "Come back, now! Kellan, please.
Don't do this to me. I love you, do you hear me? I
love you! I can't live without you…"
I was now sobbing as panic had gripped me too.
217
What can I do? What can I do?
Thunder was crashing in the sky overhead
when I had an idea. If Maggy could control the four
elements, I should be able to use this storm.
Please, don't let him die, don't let him die.
I stood up, arms outstretched, palms up.
Let's try it.
I concentrated on energy, and on all the elements
around me. I visualized lightning, my fingertips
channeling all this energy, mastering it.
I could see this lightning outstretching now, touching
my fingertips and filling my whole body with it.
When I felt ready I applied my hands on Kellan's
heart and sent electric shocks.
Once…twice….three times.
"Wake up" I was still yelling at him.
All of a sudden, Kellan coughed and vomited
all the water contained in his lungs. He opened his
eyes and looked at me intensely.
Tears were trickling down my cheeks as I
squatted down next to him.
"Why are you crying?" he whispered in my
ear.
"I thought I had lost you…I…" I said as I was
trying to justify my tears.
"Where…are… we?" he asked with
difficulty.
"I don't know exactly…I must confess I don't
have a good sense of orientation…" I smiled.
"They…what… happened?"
"Everything is gone, the whole premises. We
needed to get out…" I explained.
218
"How? I…What… did they do…?" he asked,
worried.
"Nothing, don't worry…Your brother paid
me a visit with Jeanne and Toby… Ben is dead…" I
painfully recalled.
"How…?" he further asked.
"He died trying to save me…I'm sorry I
failed you, I couldn't convince your brother..."
"He's… so blinded by Stern…Faith, I'm…
sorry for Ben...I know he was your friend…"
As my eyes started watering again, I looked the other
way. "Faith…"
"I…I wish I had been able to prevent it."
We both remained silent for a while. "Rest
now…" I said lying down next to him.
"What now?" I asked him after what had felt to be
hours. Kellan had sat down on the sand, his face had
regained some colors.
"We need to make sure they don't find us.
Stern must have been alerted by now…Wait! Our
chip! We need to get rid of both…They could lead
Stern right to us!" he exclaimed, trying to stand up.
"Don't! Stay still. I've got this!" I quickly
replied, slowly moving his head on my lap.
I carefully turned his head to the left and
touched his soft skin.
Even now it was sending electricity through my
fingers. I placed my hand above his neck, focused
and willed his chip to leave his body. It was resisting.
219
I tried to change its shape, to flatten it and heard a
noise, like the cracking sound of an eggshell.
Kellan started screaming.
The chip. His chip must be the cause. When I firmly
took his head in my hands and inspected his skull, I
could feel that it had released something, a cold
liquid, like ice in his brain.
I need to get rid of it, now.
Kellan went back to screaming with pain
when I visualized this small object inside him and
called for it, with all my will. He cried out even more
when I caught it in my hand. It was full of blood and
flesh. Got you! Now my turn. Quickly. I thought as I
was putting my palms at the base of my skull,
followed the same procedure and caught the chip in
my left hand. When I glanced at it I saw it was small
and circular – the size of a fingernail. I stood up and
crushed them both with my foot.
Inspecting what was left of our chips, I saw a dark
liquid dripping out of them.
"Kellan, come over here, quickly."
But my surroundings had become alarmingly
silent. When he didn't answer, I turned around. He
was lying on the ground, face down in the sand. I put
my hands above his wound and ordered the poison to
leave his body, it was leaving a black trail behind.
Kellan had still not moved.
K? Wake up, please...
He suddenly started to cough several times
and took a deep breath. "Faith…" He was himself
again.
220
"You weren't moving, I…thought I had lost
you again…" This time I burst into tears.
"Don't cry, please…" he said erasing my
tears with the palm of his hand.
"Don't do this to me, ever again! Promise
me!"
"I…I promise" he answered. He seemed
exhausted.
"You need to rest now…" and he closed his
eyes without me asking him to do so a second time.
221
–
CHAPTER 2 –
Gleam of Light
The sun was already going down. Kellan had spent
the whole day sleeping.
I was walking relentlessly, trying to figure out what
to do next. We needed to warn the authorities, we
needed to stop Stern.
On the other hand I couldn't leave Maggy behind,
nor Wolf. Or they would end up being the victims of
Stern's cruelty as well. I knew it. Kellan would never
leave his brother either. I knew that too.
I was trying to ponder whether our best solution was
to go to them, while bringing fresh coconut and a
washed piece of cloth to Kellan.
When I came back to the tree under which he
had rested, he wasn't there.
I started panicking.
Kellan? I asked in my head.
In the water… I'm coming, he immediately
answered. "Everything's okay?"
"Yeah, I guess. Look what I found!"
He smiled when I showed him the prize of my
hunt, already cracked open in my hands.
When he had emptied the whole content of it, he
came to stand in front of me and took my face in his
hands, looking into my eyes.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Something I should have done a long time
ago…" and he kissed me, tenderly.
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I felt so tense and relieved at the same time.
He's alive, he's alive… this new passion invading
me, mixing with residue of anxiety.
I could feel my warmth and his.
Desire was no longer contained, this fire was blazing.
My whole body was reacting to his.
I broke our first kiss to catch my breath. I felt
exhausted by this tsunami of ambivalent emotions but
there was one thing I was sure of: my unconditional
love for him, and him only. I couldn't let go of him,
so I kissed him again, but this time even more
fiercely, my body finding his.
We were a perfect match.
I removed my shirt and his.
His body was sculpturally built.
I was touching his chest, and his heart, his hands
mirroring mine, caressing my skin. They felt soft and
strong at the same time, like the petals of a rose.
We were both naked in front of each other, when his
arms encircled me again, but this time in a
lovemaking embrace.
We were free and together.
Kellan lay me down on the sand and resumed
kissing me, finding his way inside of me, finding his
way inside of my soul.
His movements, warming my whole body,
were increasing in intensity, until, in an explosion of
love, we merged into one.
It was ecstasy.
223
I woke up in the middle of the night and looked
around me.
He had vanished.
Where are you? Kellan? I shouted in my head.
I stood up and started looking for him, frantic with
worry.
I was walking fast, narrowly eyeing every
corner, every dark green patch I encountered.
Animals were waking up now – mosquitoes, lizards,
bats, snakes…
I could hear them crawl and see them feed. I had
become a predator among them, on the look-out for
unusual sounds.
My thirty-minute walk ended up abruptly
when I saw myself in a mirror wall in front of me,
reflecting the plants and trees all around as well. I
walked around it, careful not to touch its faces.
It was an imposing twenty-foot-high cube, directly
erected out of the ground.
There was no door, no apparent way to enter it.
What do I do now?
I needed to touch this structure if I wanted to find any
entrance. Let's check if it's safe first.
I focused my attention on a coconut tree next to me
and ordered its fruit to land on top of the cube with
gale force. A bump. Then nothing. I tried once more,
but this time on the wall facing me.
For a second I thought I had been able to see
something else than my own reflection – light?
224
I needed to be sure.
I gathered twenty coconuts with my ability and threw
them at equal distance against the smooth surface in
front of me. The impact was clearly distorting the
camouflaging reflection but the glass remained intact.
Fortunately it gave me the opportunity to catch a
glimpse at the interior of the cube.
Inside was a huge room, filled with statue-like
figures, on metallic chairs.
The light was dim, coming out of a fire place but I
recognized the faces of those facing me: Wolf and
Maggy. Their hands weren't tied up, but they stayed
motionless, staring into space with their white
lackluster eyes.
I needed to act quickly, I was certain Stern knew I
was here.
The walls imprisoning them looked like a force field.
I needed to break through it first.
The storm had gone, I couldn't use its energy. But
maybe I could use the energy inside the cube? It was
worth a try. I breathed in and out slowly, my
outstretched palms commanding the electricity
running through the facility to turn to the walls and
expand. The force field was weakening; I could see
my friends again but it didn't have the expected
result, the walls were still erected.
I focused once more and increased the energy on the
wall facing me, forming a ball of electricity at its
center, pleading it to destroy everything on its way.
Now!
My deep concentration was suddenly broken by the
sound of exploding glass and I saw its shattered
225
particles levitating all around me. I ordered each
piece of glass to keep moving around my body and
form a protective coat. I entered.
The security system was on, water was pouring out of
the extinguishing devices on the ceiling. Emergency
lights were bathing the room in red. No one had made
a single movement.
Wolf, Maggy, Toby, Jared… they were all drenched,
still staring lifelessly in front of them.
The chip. It must be their chip.
I placed my hands in front of me once more and
forced all their chips out.
But nothing happened. I tried once more. Still
nothing. What was going on?
I approached Maggy and touched her shoulders. My
hand was moving through thin air. A hologram…?
And now Stern knows what I'm capable of… Never
mind… Keep on moving.
I started looking around. There were no stairs going
down, nor door. I closed my eyes and strained my
ears to catch any sound that might give a clue as
where my friends were being kept prisoners.
There was no noise. Except the sound of water,
falling, dripping.
That was it, I knew it. There was another
underground structure. I extended my hand and
willed the platform to rise.
226
My powers cracked the whole floor, destroyed tiles
that were joining the glass debris in their unstoppable
protective dance.
But there was still no one.
Where had they been taken?
What if my being here was just part of Stern's plan?
What if she had killed all my friends before my
arrival? Horrible images started invading my head as
I had resumed running frantically through the forest,
not knowing where to go, when I realized that my
protective coat had vanished.
Suddenly, I heard a bloodcurdling moan,
almost a whisper at first, it was growing loud and
clear now.
I followed the sound, afraid of what I might discover.
The moan had stopped but I could distinguish a
shadow, in front of a tree.
My eyes had got used to my dark surroundings but
strangely I couldn't smell anything…
I didn't know who it was but I could clearly see that
this person's hands were tied around the trunk of a
palm tree. I was advancing slowly, still hiding behind
plants.
This person's head was bowed, strangely bent. It was
probably a trap but I couldn't leave this innocent
person behind.
Approaching further, I stepped on a branch, the
sound startling the prisoner. He was painfully looking
straight at me with terror in his eyes.
Toby.
I tried to use my power – or rather his – to untie him.
It didn't work.
227
Odd... I thought.
I would have to do it the old way. He was trying to
talk now but his gag was preventing him from
articulating any comprehensible word. I made a sign
to silence him as I was coming even closer.
He was almost screaming now when I motioned him
to keep quiet.
I removed his gag and he started talking fast, not
making any sense. He broke down in tears.
"Toby, calm down, please." I said, untying
him.
"It's a trap…" was the last thing I understood
before an arrow pierced his heart.
"Noooo…" I yelled. I dragged him away from
his murderer, and hid us behind a bush. I took him in
my arms and rocked him like I would have with a
baby seeking comfort. It was too late, he was gone.
I closed his eyes, lay him on the ground and stood up
remorseful for leaving him here. His burying would
have to wait, I needed to find the others.
I went on walking swallowing sobs and tears. I could
not use my speed anymore.
I didn't know why but all my powers seemed to have
left me. Maybe they had been just temporary. Maybe
they had died with their first owner?
It took me less than two minutes to find
another prisoner. But this one wasn't tied up. I slowly
went closer.
Oh my God, Maggy.
She was staring at me with glassy eyes.
Stern must be controlling her… I further thought.
228
I tried to make her move, calling to the wind, but it
was totally useless. She had not moved an inch. I was
whispering her name but she didn't reply. "Maggy,
please. Answer me…" I was pleading now. I was
getting very close to her now and made a movement
to touch her shoulders. I screamed with horror as I
saw her head dismember itself from her neck and her
corpse collapse on the ground.
Spurts of blood were coming out of her neck, quickly
forming a pond of blood.
I shouted her name, sobbing with panic and anger as I
realized my feet were bathing in her blood.
I started shaking and fell on my knees. I glanced at
my hands which were covered with a sticky liquid
whose color I only had to guess.
Fear gave way to rage, boiling, consuming
every cell in my body.
I gave a last scream but this time full of promise; the
promise of avenging her.
This only prospect gave me the strength to leave my
friend behind and go on.
I must have been walking around in circles for I soon
arrived back at the square I had destroyed.
Strangely it appeared untouched and erected straight.
Impossible. I destroyed the glass walls… I was
feeling lost, losing control over my emotions when
panic seized me again. Maybe it was the expected
effect of the building in front of me.
Maybe it was exactly Stern's intention to confuse me.
Focus, focus! I was in front of one of its square
229
surfaces now and touched it with my right hand, no
longer able to destroy it.
I was looking once more into the interior of the
building. But this time I distinguished Jeanne with
her incredible long blonde hair. She was in the
middle of the living room, her back at me.
A fire was roaring in the fireplace and a skin rug had
been placed in front of it. Candles and chandeliers
were dimly lighting the room. I was wondering why
she had been left alone.
Suddenly she was greeted by muscular arms,
touching and discovering her body, undressing her
slowly. These two were clasped in each other's arms,
kissing passionately.
I couldn't see her lover's face so I decided to look
even more closely.
My heart was struck with terror when Kellan's blue
eyes looked back at me, kissing Jeanne even longer
and harder on the mouth, while staring at me.
Why?
I couldn't believe what I was witnessing.
He lay Jeanne – now totally naked – on the rug.
He was slowly removing his shirt, underlining his
perfect body even further, his trousers, his boxer
shorts… fixing me with his intense gaze…
I turned around and ran away – unable to watch
anymore.
How could he do this to me? How could he?
I was so confused…
I was running as fast as I could, though not as fast as
I had been before but still enough to stumble on a
230
rock in front of me. I landed in the dirt, head first and
swallowed mud.
I couldn't breathe now, this dirt invading me, not
only my face but my heart and soul.
Kellan, why did you do this to me?
I had lost everyone I had ever loved. I had lost
everything.
I wanted to die, right here, right now. I let despair
take hold of me. I knew it had been there all along,
lurking in the dark. Now that it had been released like
a mad dog, it was uncontrollable and taking
advantage of every part of me.
Like this dirt I was swallowing, I was choking on
despair and guilt.
Faith. Faith wake up. Faith, what's going on? I heard
Kellan ask.
How could you do this to me? You bastard!
Faith, I don't know what you're talking about
but I heard you. You were screaming my name.
I knew you fancied her. You asshole!
Faith, please…calm down.
Why? I trusted you…
Faith, I don't know what you saw but it
wasn't real. Faith, listen to me!
I was letting out stifled cries when he caught
me off guard.
Faith, I'm here. Hang in there. I won't leave
you. I never will, do you hear me? I'll never leave
you. Faith…
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I had left Kellan on our island. He couldn't
have been with Jeanne. He said he was here.
He said he would never leave me. Did he care for me
too? Kellan? Is it really you?
Faith, listen to me, you need to focus on my
voice. What you see isn't real, none of it is. Do you
hear me? Focus on me. Breathe in, and out slowly.
"Faith…" I heard someone else scream my
name in the distance.
Kellan, they still have Wolf… He's calling me.
It's not him. Don't let your fear guide you.
Kellan, I'm scared…
Faith, I'm with you…Trust me…
Why? Why should I trust you? I asked, still
not knowing what was real and what wasn't.
Because…Because I love you, Faith…I don't
want to lose you…
What he said had the effect of a thousand
volts, sending electric shocks through my body.
My heart filled with a renewed hope and my mind
was cleared of every negative emotion I had felt.
"Somebody… Please…Help me. They're
going to kill me… Please…" Wolf's call was
growing louder.
Listen to my voice. We're still on the island
where you brought me. Nothing you see is
real…Listen to my voice! Kellan added.
Wolf's pleading voice was fading away now.
I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing
and on Kellan's voice resonating in my head. In, out,
in, out, slowly. I could do it. I could beat Stern and
still save them. They're alive, they're alive…
232
I opened my eyes slowly to see Wolf had
appeared on my left. His moaning had stopped. He
had been chained up – legs and arms outstretched –
to two trees. His body was cut open, his guts coming
out of it.
I closed my eyes and thought of Kellan and
what he had said. I focused on him and my feelings
for him.
Fight this! You can do it, Faith!
I opened my eyes again. But this time Wolf
had disappeared. Instead of him, I glanced at the
destroyed premises on my right.
I briefly glimpsed at my hands too. They were
immaculate, not at all covered in blood.
I closed my eyes once more, breathed in and out, and
went on focusing on Kellan's voice, my heart, my
soul.
When I opened my eyes, it was like waking up,
seeing for the first time after a disturbing night. I
could feel Kellan next to me, he had knelt on the
sand. We were still on the island, our island I
thought.
Thank God! Faith…You're back! I…
We're not alone… I could sense it. I felt dizzy
and drained, my head was aching so much…
"Sweet dreams, beauty?" I recognized his
voice instantly.
"Look at the mess you've made! You and
Kellan form the best of teams, destroying everything
233
and everyone on your passage." Stern's cold voice,
brought me back to reality.
Jared and Stern were standing a few feet away,
smirking.
"I think you know what you're talking about,
Stern…Why Naome? She hadn't done anything
wrong…" I stood up without letting my guard down.
Kellan did the same and we were both facing them
now.
"Stop the crap. We all know you killed
Naome, and beat Bochi to death. And you want to
protect her, Kellan? To me you're both murderers.
Now you deserve to pay."
"Jared, Faith is telling you the truth. Come
with us…" Kellan asked him.
"…Not to mention you always fall for the
wrong girl…You deserve what's coming for you!" he
answered, not letting him continue.
"I can't believe you're saying that…he's
always looked out for you…" I snapped.
"How would you know?" Kellan's brother
asked with disdain.
"Jared, listen to me. Don't believe a word
Stern says…Come with us…"
"You will find no friend here, Kellan. No one
believes you. Everything you both say is a lie…"
Stern replied.
I pushed Jared away with the energy of my
right hand and rooted him to the spot before he could
attack. I left Stern exactly where she was.
"It's too late Stern. Tell the truth!" I said.
234
"I don't know what you're talking about…"
she answered smiling and overconfident.
"Tell us or I will hurt you…the way you've
hurt all of us…"
Stern remained mute.
Moving branches had turned silent. What about the
animals living here? Had they all gone?
It was weird and a feeling of unease was rising in me.
I quickly glanced at Kellan who gave me a discreet
nod. We both looked around, trying to see anything
unusual when we were interrupted by Stern.
"Now!"
I didn't have the time to react. I felt a huge
wave of energy, violently crush me and Kellan, and
immobilizing us both against a palm tree trunk, ten
feet high.
Out of the darkness I saw four shadows slowly
floating towards us.
I didn't hear them coming…How is it possible?
I knew there were others… Kellan replied.
They were all wearing black hoodies. They
came to a halt in front of us and removed their hoods,
the moon lighting their faces. They were so young,
they couldn't be older than us.
One of them had his hand extended, probably the one
maintaining us above the ground.
They were certainly waiting for my next blow to see
if I could be much of a resistance.
I summoned up all my strength and focused,
remembering yoga – what it was to really inhale and
exhale air and energy. I levitated them all, forcing
them to go back where they had come from.
235
When I felt the power of my enemy diminish, we
were dropped on the sand like dead weight.
"Kellan, run! I'm not sure I'll be able to hold them
back much longer…" I yelled at him, fearing it was
already too late.
"No, I'm not leaving you here…" he replied.
"Kellan please, don't do this…Go to the other
side of the island, swim as far as you can and don't
look back…" I added.
"It's over, Faith…" Stern said smiling
triumphantly.
The covered strangers coming back at us
seemed unimpressed by what had happened.
I quickly glanced at Kellan. It's the only
chance we've got to see each other again…If they
catch you they'll kill you…Please…
All of a sudden, I felt my heart constrict. It was
almost like being crushed by an invisible pressure,
unable to breathe.
They were hurting Kellan. He was lying on
the sand, choking.
I levitated him out of here, sending him flying
to the other side of the island. He would be safer
there. I focused once again. I had to do it, I had to
stop them.
But there was no electricity here, no source of
power I could use. The elements. I could use the four
elements around me. I could feel the surge of energy
flowing in my veins. I just needed to channel it.
I willed the wind to form a gush so strong, it
imprisoned them in a whirlwind and kept them away.
236
Soon I felt the pressure on my chest lessen
until it totally disappeared. But as I was still pushed
against the bark, I knew they were resisting, the wind
having driven them back but not far enough.
"Stop her, now! But keep her alive!" Stern's
voice ordered, among the hooded figures.
I needed to attack them, more strongly this
time.
However I was immediately stopped by a jet
of frost coming from one of them – so powerful. I
moved away from it just in time or I would have felt
the impact of the full blast.
Jared seized the opportunity and put me into
one of his visions again. We were on a deserted
island, palm trees had disappeared, giving way to
dead plants and vegetation. A pack of ravening
wolves were growling at me, as I was slowly sinking
in quicksand.
But he wouldn't take me by surprise a second
time.
I focused my mind on his, my eyes being blind to the
rest of them, and I knocked him out against a tree.
"Don't let her escape!" a man further ordered.
I whispered my will to the ocean this time.
It was moving, advancing on them, creating a huge
wave, so big it would crush them all.
Let's see if you can escape this! I thought.
My opponents were taken by surprise and
quickly engulfed by the wave I had created.
I willed it to stop at my feet, increasing the current
where my enemies had been.
237
It had the appearance of a translucent tank
imprisoning them all. No one had had the time to
move.
I threw a last glance at Stern, a little farther in front
of me. It was really strange as she seemed to be
floating, encircled by a shiny blue bubble that hadn't
been there two seconds before. Even the pale moon
was reflecting on it.
But she was no longer my concern…
I started running as fast as I could to rejoin the other
side of the island.
Soldiers, all dressed in black and wearing diving
suits, were securing the perimeter, one pointing his
gun at Kellan's head.
Another one spotted me.
He made a signal and they all shot.
I stopped every single one of them and quickly willed
their weapons to reload and turn against their owner
instead. The soldiers seemed doubtful, horrified and
furious at the same time.
They all put their hands up.
I fired their weapon and stunned them all with their
own tranquilizers.
"Kellan, are you okay?" I said as I was
running to him.
"We need to get out of here and fast…" he
replied.
238
We had to flee. But was heading for another
island the solution? Was there a place in this world
where we would be safe?
He took my hand and we both ran to the
ocean, our bodies crushing against the waves.
Water was at my waist when something
stopped me from taking another step.
I was stuck, unable to move.
Every time I was trying to go forward an invisible
wall was restraining me.
"Faith, what's going on?" Kellan asked.
I was locked up in a sort of plastic bubble.
I was trying to tear it apart but nothing was efficient
enough to destroy my flexible prison. There was
oxygen, I could breathe easily, and even water, at my
waist. The only difference was that my movements
were hampered as new waves were crashing against
it. As I was kicking my protective blanket in vain, I
tried to force the bubble to grow and stretch from the
inside but it didn't break. I punched it and punched it
again, nothing was working.
Kellan, I'm sorry.
Faith, what can I do?
I'm stuck here…I'm…They will be here soon.
Kellan you need to go!
"No! Not without you!"
Oh my Gosh, Kellan, they're here.
Faith! Hang in there! Faith! He was
screaming my name.
I can't move forward. I don't know what they
want, or what they'll do to me…Kellan…
239
Listen to me Faith, I will never give up on
you, do you hear me?
I couldn't listen to him anymore.
I had started to cry uncontrollably.
I had failed.
I had failed Maggy and the others, and I would never
see Kellan again.
I would never hold him nor kiss him.
I was sinking to the depths of despair when I heard a
bursting sound, followed by a sting on my neck, a
burning solution spreading inside my entire body.
Then a second, a third and a fourth sting.
I could slowly feel the effect of the poison they had
injected me with.
My eyelids were heavy.
I got it out of my system, from every pore when I was
stung again, but this time by what it felt like a
thousand needles, when I heard someone whose
familiar voice was shouting my name from afar.
Kellan. Please, go...
Never, do you hear me? Never!
I used all the energy I had left to send him as
far away from me as I could.
I was so drained that I could no longer stand.
I collapsed.
When I felt muscular arms catching me, I blacked
out.
240
PART 4
"The child of true Humanity exists
within you."
Gospel of Mary of Magdala
4046'19.0"N 7358'29.9"W
241
–
CHAPTER 1 –
Ruby Anchor
Everything is foggy and obscure. Am I flying?
I feel so light…
Where am I? Am I dead? Is it what death feels like?
No one around me? No one to hold my hand when
I'm leaving this world?
Which world? I don't know…I don't… remember.
But there is no light. No light…No light…I'm so cold.
I'm alone…Why? I hate this solitude. I hate it.
Who am I?
Echoes all around me. Sounds and lights, colors –
bright and soft.
That's it. I must be in heaven.
Or hell? I'm still so cold, isn't it supposed to be
burning hot down there?
I feel trapped, something is wrong.
Two male voices were invading my ears, while I
could feel a presence bustling about near me.
"Do you think it worked?"
"It did."
"May I remind you that it didn't with the first
subjects. Show me!"
"Here! See this curve? Her scan clearly
indicates another seizure. It correlates with the exact
moment when she was injected in this case subject
J1's blood."
"Are you a hundred percent certain?"
242
"We're not sure at the moment. There is only
one way of knowing with certainty."
"You want to wake her up…"
"It's the only way…"
"It's risky… I'll ask Stern. In the meantime, I
think we need to increase the dosage, we can't risk
any containment breach…"
"There is one more thing. At every successful
transfusion, her seizures increase in intensity. She
heals, fast. But we can't risk exposing her to too
many subjects too quickly. Her body would end up
crashing. Please inform her of that risk as well."
"I'll let you know what Stern decides."
I suddenly heard a light sound followed by
heavy steps on the floor.
"Trent, increase the sedative. We also need
another transfusion set, could you get this ready,
please?"
"Yes sir, of course." a man replied.
Not knowing if it was a dream or if what I had heard
was the harsh reality of my life, I drifted off.
243
–
CHAPTER 2 –
Amber Horizon
I felt a burning liquid spread through my veins,
waking up all my cells at once. My eyes fluttered
open and I jumped out of bed, crouching like a
mistreated cat at the sight of its torturer.
My conscience resurfaced so rapidly that I
was feeling dizzy now. I could hear and feel my heart
racing, palpitating, like after running a marathon.
I opened my eyes entirely this time, only to be
blinded by white. The neon lights were too strong.
It felt like seeing for the first time, breathing for the
first time.
Where am I?
An intoxicating smell of bleach was floating.
My arms were both linked to tubes that were
connected to two machines, still beeping.
I quickly removed the needles and felt free to move.
I didn't feel any pain. Strange…
Drops of blood had stained the immaculate floor. I
glanced at the room around me and found bandages
to attend my wounds on a tray on my right.
I needed to stand. I made one step, then
another. The cold floor was soothing against my
burning skin. Freezing cold…
This sensation was vaguely familiar.
Around my feet frost had spread, quickly.
Its ice shape, inlaid into the floor, had covered the
blooded tiles.
What the fuck?
244
I was still wondering if I was dreaming when
I noticed blood had trickled down my arms to rest in
my hands.
A wave of mental pain and suffering, uncontrolled,
was floating in my veins, like plastic bags at the
surface of the ocean.
I could feel this enormous wave building in my guts,
washing over my senses, spreading in my whole
body. I started shaking.
Images were overcoming my mind;
a blond-haired boy choking for air, covered in blood,
a group of boys, raping me savagely,
a crazy old man, naked, trying to stop the bleeding
streaming from his neck,
the face of an Indian girl covered with blood, dead,
a black man I was beating to death; strangling him
with all my strength…
M y head was summoning up more and more images.
Memories? I wondered.
Memories of rape, violence, blood, hatred and death.
Look what they have done…Finish the job,
hurt her... him... them...yourself. Kill them all...It's the
only choice you've got... a voice was chanting in my
ears.
I saw all their faces, crying, heard them beg
for mercy.
Don't listen to her...him...them...they deserve
it...the voice continued.
My head started spinning, and with it, names.
Ry? Jeanne? Jared? Bree? Maggy? All these names
were building up in my mind.
Who am I?
245
I couldn't think straight any more. Who am I? And
who are those people to me?
I was lost, angry, disgusted and alone, alone in
oblivion. I felt trapped like a mouse, ready to be
eaten by the house cat it had known all his life, the
one that had been lurking in the dark.
Savage anger was rising. Anger and hate at
the injustice of so much pain and the randomness
with which it had struck. The buzzing in my clouded
head was so loud that I was shaking like a leaf. I had
the impression that my skull was split in two. My
hands had gone rigid, like the dead bodies of so many
I had seen. My heart was hammering, fueled by
somber fear.
These images seemed so real… But were they?
I was crushed and defeated by so much violence and
horror. I collapsed on my knees, the pull was too
strong. I took my ears in my hands and screamed of
terror, terror at what I had seen, terror at what I had
done.
It left a burden too heavy for my shoulders to carry.
246
–
CHAPTER 3 –
Citrine Flashes
When I decided to open my eyes again, I saw the
walls around me had evaporated, their rubble dancing
in a powerful tornado of dust and water, coming from
the ceiling. And in front of me, a dark hall.
Furthermore I felt drained and nauseous. My mouth
was dry and my lips crackled, my movements
hampered and slow to obey my fuzzy mind.
But I was more than determined to get out of my cell.
So I stood up.
In this new environment, the artificial bright
light had been replaced by a dimmed red atmosphere
whose flickering lights were accompanied in their
dance by extinguishing devices.
No sign of a living soul except for mine.
Trying to regain my composure, I started exploring
this floor.
A series of dark rooms were flanked on both
sides here, their door totally destroyed.
I checked all of them, but everywhere I entered I saw
the same cataclysmic landscape: metallic cupboards
spread all over the floor, broken glass – probably
from flasks whose tag had become unreadable –
mattresses, tubes and surgery tools, even broken
laptops.
"Is anyone here?" I said, exiting the last
room, as a last attempt to convince myself I wasn't
dreaming.
247
I had needed to check all the rooms on this
floor, I didn't know why. I had just needed to do it.
Then I remembered. I remembered her name. Tara.
She had grown suspicious, had been curious.
They had tried to silence her. But who were "they"?
And where was she now?
Scott, Toby, Wolf… Other names, resonating
through my mind, had resurfaced from I didn't know
where.
I knew I wouldn't have the answers I was looking for,
so in sheer frustration I hit the wall, hard and started
crying, I didn't know why. I could no longer suppress
my tears from streaming down.
I was stopped short, enveloped by a warm
feeling when I saw two bright butterflies had
materialized in front of me. They were both the
colors of the rainbow, and were now flying past me.
I could not keep my eyes off them. They were so
beautiful, their dance illuminating the entire hall to
go disappearing behind the only standing wall now
opposite me.
Impossible I thought, looking at the spot where they
had disappeared. I couldn't see their light any more,
but I knew where I had to go and went back, deeper
into darkness.
Flashes and furtive images still appeared in
my head. There is another structure next to this
building. I knew it.
But how? I quickly walked and stood in front of the
brick wall. My mind took over, I needed to follow the
butterflies. But how?
248
I put my hands on it and pushed with all my strength,
suddenly invaded by hope, the hope of understanding
what was going on.
A huge blast of power had appeared in my hands and
destroyed it all, bricks were now flying away creating
a stack behind me.
I looked at my hands, dumbfounded.
How in the world did I learn to do that?
I felt surprised by the result but my spirits were soon
dampened by the sight that had opened up in front of
me.
A shiny rough surface had replaced the brick wall. Its
texture felt somehow alien at my touch.
But I had sent a blast of energy before, I could do it
again. I tried to remember what I had done and soon
enough my two hands were directed at the strange
structure.
But it didn't even crack.
What is this thing? I wondered.
Wurtzite boron nitride. Lab zone, entirely sealed and
protected, my mind let out as to remind me of
something else.
If I knew the name of this material, I certainly knew
how to destroy it too. This knowledge was there, in
my mind, I was certain of it. How to access it was
another issue.
My heart was racing again and I could feel the same
anger rising, anger at my own powerlessness, anger
at my memory loss, anger at myself, hate at the
people who did this, dark hatred.
249
I shouted in frustration, my hands started shaking
uncontrollably again and a huge blast of energy – a
mix of ice and electricity – was created in my palms.
I pushed it out and willed it to destroy the wurtzite.
All the walls supporting this wing started shaking
even more, the upper floor had collapsed on the now
visible cube but there was still no visible crack in the
black structure in front of me.
Anxiety was spreading in my veins like the black
venom of a dangerous snake.
I can do this, I can. I sat down on the floor.
I breathed in and out, trying to focus on peace and
positive feelings, searching in my memory for any
element that could help me open the cube.
I saw blinding white lights, tools, bandages, hospitals
but somehow I knew these images were not memory
fragments from this building.
I exhaled and let the images flow. I focused on the
name I had found earlier, wurtzite, and I repeated it
several times, creating my own chant this time.
The blur in front of my eyes became clearer.
"Wait. Are you sure this wing is protected? We
wouldn't want our patients to go in there or our
testing subjects to go out." a neurosurgeon who had
been trained by Bochi and named Trent asked.
"Trust me. Nothing can destroy it. We made
the necessary arrangements. You will also have your
own combination. It is very simple. After showing
your print and eye scan on the wall panel, the
wurtzite surface will appear. All you need to do press
your chosen squares on the surface.
250
It is eight-fold so please choose a combination you
can easily remember, we don't want to load new ones
every week." a young man named Scott – wearing a
dark uniform with SC on it – answered.
"Okay, let's get this over with." The doctor
replied inserting his chosen code.
The memory fragment dissipated like vapor but I had
found what I needed.
I stood in front of the wurtzite surface and pressed on
the squares I had memorized.
A door had become translucent and I entered.
251
–
CHAPTER 4 –
Emerald Vault
Everything was dark in here – typical – only a room,
at the end of the formerly hidden hall, whose door
frame was submerged by light, resembled that of a
lighthouse through a stormy night.
I hurried down the hall and remembered to
press the rectangular shape on the right panel before
entering.
What I saw next startled me most.
The body – inert – of a man stripped to the waist with
a white pair of trousers lay still on a metallic table,
the whole room lit by the same rainbow butterflies.
Two machines were linked to each other by several
tiny pipes, further inserted in his arms, back, and
neck. "What…?" I said out loud.
I pressed my ear on his heart to confirm what
I already knew, his breathing was shallow.
Who was this man? My mind was still fuzzy
and even though his outlines looked familiar, I
couldn't recall who he was.
Let's get rid of all these tubes first and keep your
questions for later. I thought in a hurry, on my way to
open the cupboard full of bandages.
I removed the needles, one by one, and let
their murky liquid spread on the floor.
It was dark and dense like the oil poisoning oceans
after a shipwreck.
He seemed to be breathing more easily now despite
his eyes, still closed.
252
I was firmly wrapping bandages around his wounds,
when I was broken off by the echo of steps,
resonating through darkness.
"Faith…" said a stranger, leading a whole
group.
"I don't know who you are…Stay away from
me! Stay away!"
In front of me, eyes were scrutinizing me with
terror.
Their panic ignited something deep within me. Their
gaze rapidly faded away to be replaced by
silhouettes; faces I thought I knew but which, at the
same time, felt unfamiliar.
Someone suddenly grabbed my hands.
"Faith...Everything is okay, Faith. It's me, Maggy."
said a strange girl in front of me.
She was looking at me intensely, with her innocent
blue eyes.
I saw my face reflect in them when the image
started changing, taking the shape of another person,
and another and another.
Every time I recognized a new face in her eyes, my
guts were churning with the same crying shame and
absolute hatred for myself.
You're disgusting. Look what you have done.
You don't deserve to live. Kill yourself. Do it! Now! A
devilish chant was encouraging me to end my
suffering and theirs.
"Faith, let us help you...Please..." a man said
desperately.
253
My ears were buzzing, my vision blurry and
my head once more split in two with a severe
migraine headache.
"Don't get closer...!" My voice felt alien as the words
were coming out of my mouth. I tried to get away
from them but couldn't find balance and quickly fell
on the freezing cold tiled floor that seemed to give
way under my feet. I stayed where I was, curled up
with my eyes closed, my arms encircling my knees.
"Faith, you found him..." another guy said.
"Don't touch her Jared!"
"I'm not planning to! Faith, we need to go, I
don't know how much time we have left."
Faith? I've heard the name before...
You're not worth a dime. You deserve to die!
"Enough" I shouted, my hands protecting my
ears to counteract the evil voices, tears were
brimming over and falling on my cheeks.
"What's going on?" another girl asked.
"I don't know. I think she's losing it!" another
voice added.
I could feel their gaze staring at me – full of
dread. My hands had started trembling even more
than before. The bulbs preserving the emergency
lights on the floor exploded one by one, and all this
energy gathered in my hands, that were now
generating sparks of electricity.
"Faith, what's going on?" Maggy shouted –
frantic with worry.
"Tara, something is off!" a man said.
254
Black shadows – like the ones protecting
Notre Dame in Paris – were surrounding all of us – at
each corner of the hall – with bloodshot eyes
mirroring hatred and darkness. As they were
advancing towards us, I could see their wings: huge
and ending with silver claws. They were forming a
black cloud, I was no longer able to see anyone.
"Wolf, we need to get everyone out!" added
another man.
When my palms touched the ground, a huge
tree appeared from the underground, growing fast, all
the way up to the ceiling and up again, leaving
broken bricks and metal below it, destroying
everything on its way. It was separating the shadows
from us.
Destroy…everything…Kill…everyone…Now
… What seemed to be a distant voice at the back of
my head became louder and louder, forming a regular
chant.
"Faith, what can we do?" asked the guy
named Wolf, but not loud enough to cover the chant.
"I….I can't control it. RUN!" I shouted my
hands still on my ears, my eyes still wide open.
Kill them all… Destruction is all you
know…You're frightening them….You belong with us.
The strangers in front of me seemed to have
regained their composure, two of them took by the
shoulders the man I had found. The butterflies around
him some seconds before had now vanished.
There is no light, another voice was
resonating in my head.
255
"I…Please, go away….I don't know how long
I can hang on…." I shouted at the remaining outlines
in front of me. Everything I touched was turning to
ice now, the floor, the walls.
Please let them all be safe, let them all be safe. I
thought.
A gale-force wind pushed everyone away from me,
away from the dark gargoyles through the passage the
tree had left open.
Stop them! They will kill you if you don't!
"Noooooo…" I was holding my head again,
trying to get rid of this chant, still more insisting.
Kill yourself….You're not worth a dime! Kill
yourself, destroy everything!
The ground started shaking. I could hear
water surging on every floor, the earth was split in
two, letting streams of mud engulf the whole
building.
Faith... a male voice said in my head.
But I was alone, dust covering my face.
I could feel the floor give way beneath me. I didn't
move. I didn't want to survive this. I sure didn't
deserve it.
Fight this, you can do it, Faith. he said again.
Kill yourself. You're too dangerous…you
belong with us. The voices were even louder than
before.
They… are controlling me…The voices are
controlling my mind. I can't…I answered the stranger
in my head.
I've seen your courage and your heart. You're
stronger than this…he replied.
256
All this darkness, I'm possessed, I'm being
possessed. "Stop it! Enough!"
I was repeating loudly trying to cover the chant with
my voice this time.
But maybe the chant was coming from me, maybe I
was the evil voice.
Maybe I was as dark as the creatures smiling at me
now.
I love you...his voice had revived a vivid
memory.
I let his words fuel me entirely. I felt power
coming from my heart increase, swelling and
growing so fierce. I wasn't scared anymore. I felt the
courage to stand up.
I suddenly knew what I had to do.
NOOOOO! I could hear the destructive
voices' last attempt to keep control.
I drew a protective circle all around me. Its
light was now electric blue.
Let everything else outside.
Protect me from invaders. Protect me from myself, I
thought.
When I found peace again, I felt myself become
lighter.
Breathe in the light, breathe out the light.
Focus. I heard.
The gargoyles had evaporated, everyone had
gone. Were they okay?
Oh my Gosh, what have I done? I was
suddenly aware of my racing pulse.
257
Desolation invaded my heart when I caught a
glimpse at the frozen floor, giving way under my
feet, the overall building shaky, on the verge of total
collapse.
My bubble was protecting me from all the bricks and
debris from the fallen walls but I needed to find a
way out, quickly.
I was looking around me now.
The tree trunk had remained intact despite the
violence of my force.
I decided to follow the path it had created, to the
expansion of its roots, my protective bubble
cushioning my ascension all the way up, guided by
the light emanating from my body.
It felt like rebirth.
258
–
CHAPTER 5 –
Aquamarine Sky
My eyes didn't have to adjust to the natural light – or
better the absence of it – around me, and I realized
for the first time that I was wearing a white hospital
gown.
The full moon with her orange shades was
reflecting on huge tree leaves surrounding me and I
was completely alone, in the middle of dancing
shadows. I left the hole from which I had emerged
and the ground started shaking violently, engulfing
the whole underground structure with a whirlwind of
dirt and dust. It gave way to a huge crater where only
one tree remained standing – the tree whose roots
were going far underground, the tree that had shown
me the way out. When I realized I was levitating
above the crater, I looked down to see earth and mud
materialize, filling the hole that had been created by
my escape. Grass was growing fast and spread to the
surface, bushes and small trees had also emerged.
It was like nothing had happened.
Thank you whispered a firefly at my ear
before disappearing into the night sky.
Or was it my imagination?
I slowly regained a stable piece of ground in front of
me, burying my fear deep within.
Where is everyone? Where am I?
259
I ventured forward, walking on the grass
barefoot, not at all disturbed by the winter wind and
found myself stopped by an energy field whose
contours were preventing me from stepping forward.
I felt like a beast, trapped once more. I hadn't left one
prison to be locked into another.
Enough I screamed in my head. All my suppressed
anger started mounting. The wind around me was
rising fast, reaching gale force, electricity sparks
started forming in the palms of my hands and quickly
spread all over my skin. I applied both hands on the
energy field and shouted – this time out loud – with
the full intensity of my rage.
Flashes of lightning – emanating from my whole
body – tore the energy field apart which dissipated in
a matter of seconds.
260
–
CHAPTER 6 –
Turquoise Vision
In the distance a whole city lay dormant.
Before her, fifty soldiers – dark shadows still
zooming over them all – were aiming at Wolf, Maggy
and the others from the group I had seen in the
premises. Four soldiers were standing next to the man
I had saved from the wurtzite, restraining him.
"Faith…" the stranger was calling. He was
looking at me.
Somehow and in spite of my hazy memory,
his deep blue eyes moved me. And suddenly I saw
vivid images of him. He was holding me in his arms,
teaching me how to defend myself, protecting me,
kissing me, making love to me.
Kellan…?
I was now looking at them all and heard their
names. Stern, Bochi, Jared, Ry, Tara, Scott and his
twin sister Brittany, Toby, Maggy, Jeanne and Wolf.
Somehow, as I now remembered all their
names, I also saw the events that had led them to be
here.
I saw Tara, aged eight, in front of her
mother's tomb on her aboriginal land. She had never
known her father who had killed himself before her
birth. I saw how Scott recruited her for Stern's NY
office several years ago.
I saw the operation Trent, one of Bochi's trainees,
was performing on her and how it had enabled her to
control the element of air around her.
261
I saw her trying to choke me and Kellan on the island
we tried to escape from.
I saw Bree and Scott, the twins whose blood
had served for the creation of serums. I saw them on
an Indian reserve, hungry and alone. I saw them
fighting for survival in a country where their culture
wasn't recognized, Brittany brutalized and lost. I saw
Trent's experiment on them after being recruited by
Stern. I saw Scott create strong energy fields,
sometimes in the shape of a bubble, I saw one of his
bubbles restrain me from moving, back on the island.
I saw his sister and her ability to create, give life to
nature, trees, flowers, plant or to destroy.
I saw Ry, raised as a soldier and forced to kill
his friends to prove his ability. I felt he had never
recovered from it, crushed by guilt. I saw him
recruited in Nigeria, after one of Jeanne, Wolf and
Jared's missions.
I saw his ability to create water, in all its forms and
how he was following Stern's orders on the island
where he materialized the frost jet that had almost
touched me.
I saw Jeanne's childhood in Paris, with her
adopted sister from India, Agnès. I saw them both
raised by their nanny, Roberta. I saw how her sister's
death had affected Jeanne, forcing her to leave her
home. I saw how she had always failed to commit to
any kind of relationship in fear of losing another
person whom she cared for.
I saw Jared and all his struggle, devastated by
grief after the loss of his parents and Naome.
262
I saw his guilt when Stern told him his brother had
died on the island with me.
And I saw Stern, her family's suffering, how
her people had been tortured during the Second
World War. I saw the desolation that had conquered
her and so many.
I understood how they had all tried to free
themselves from their past, to forget, to find solace
through revenge or anger.
I saw they were all carrying, in their genes,
the load of the past – stories of rape, violence, hatred,
racism, oppression that had been inflicted to them or
their ancestors, feeling as lost as I had been.
And I was certain that, because I had
changed, they could also change the course of their
lives, and that we were all given the opportunity to
free ourselves from the past.
I now looked at Bochi and Stern, encircled by
remaining soldiers. She was holding a small metallic
box in her hand.
When Stern started advancing towards me,
Kellan shouted "You bastards, don't touch her!"
"Kellan, you're such a disappointment, like
all of you I may add." she replied.
I could see sadness taking shape on the faces
of some, anger on others.
"Release them all, you have no right!" I
demanded, outraged.
"Yes, I can feel your anger, good." she was
addressing me now. "Faith, join me and bend in front
of me. Serve allegiance to our order."
263
"No!" I shouted. I saw terror struck the faces
of captives and soldiers alike.
All started backing away as a stormy wind
was rising, enveloping us all.
"Resistance won't save you." Stern resumed.
"You will destroy the old world to give way to a new
order, my order. You will obey!"
When she pressed the metallic box, I
suddenly felt restraints, my consciousness was totally
frozen.
Scott, Maggy, Toby, Jeanne…they all started
fighting each other, screaming at each other. Some of
them collapsed on the grass, some others were
writhing in pain.
I looked at Kellan, he had remained standing
but he seemed enraged, his beautiful, innocent eyes
had rapidly turned dark. He was pointing a gun at me,
trembling.
"What… have you… done…to him?" I asked
Stern and Bochi, gathering all the strength I had left.
"You're the Nemesis, Faith. Your blood is the
answer to depravity, to the calamity they all are –
humans – and we made sure you had all the powers
to destroy them all by injecting you with every
supra's blood, mine included…Obey or they will all
kill each other…"
Time seemed suspended.
"Maybe she needs another incentive…
Bochi?"
When he went to Kellan and whispered at his
ear, I saw Kellan pointing the gun at himself.
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Wolf, Tara, Maggy…they were all on the
ground now, moaning in pain.
I shouted, it was the only thing I could do.
Scalding tears were rolling down my cheeks as I
witnessed Kellan, ready to trigger the gun he was
holding against his temple.
Despair was crushing me. I was totally useless.
What is happening to me? I started enquiring,
dizzy. The pain of the restraints Bochi and Stern had
afflicted was unbearable, their victory laughter was
resonating through my mind.
I instinctively put the palms of my hand at the
back of my head that was sore.
The chip, it must be the chip… I suddenly
understood. With all the strength I had left, I willed
the chip that had been inserted deep in my skull to
leave my body.
"No…" I could hear Bochi.
I was now holding it in my hands, but felt the
dark liquid it had been containing, still running
through my veins.
"It is too late!" Stern replied. And I saw that
Kellan and my friends were all suffocating.
Reacting to this horrifying view by moving of
its own accord, I felt my body rise in the moonlit sky.
My arms spread, my feet touching each other, my
shadow two feet above ground.
"No, I need her alive!" I heard Stern
command her soldiers.
When my hands opened up, facing the full
moon, I could feel unbearable pain transpiercing
them, I felt everyone's suffering, their loud moaning,
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imploring me to end it. My heart was bleeding with
them and boiling with the determination to end it all.
Remember who you are, who we all are… I
heard a voice say, resonating from deep within. It had
revived another memory.
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–
CHAPTER 7 –
Amethyst Eight
Suddenly a blast of powerful light coming from my
center ignited. This Light was growing into a burning
fire in my heart, so strong and so pure, it was now
purifying my whole body, blazing in my hands. This
fire was cleansing me entirely, leaving me to enter
each core. It had taken the shape of a rainbow and
was illuminating the darkness that had emerged.
I now felt and saw the dark liquid leaving
everyone else's body, gathering in front of me,
forming a levitating black pool, together with the
soldiers'guns and the liquid empty metallic shells.
The palms of my hands burnt it all with windy force,
only leaving incandescent dust.
When my feet resumed touching the ground,
the sun was slowly rising on the horizon.
A bright triangle had taken shape in front of
me, then a second one, its peak down. At its center I
could see a white flower resting on a rainbow sea.
Tears of joy resumed rolling down my cheeks
as I understood, walking to my friends, and with all
my being, these words, the true meaning of
incarnation, to remember, open our eyes and heart to
who we are in essence – Love and Light – to find our
way back home, to the Light.
Stern was looking at me aghast and Bochi was
soon at her side.
As I was walking to meet them both, their
army started running away.
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When I was facing them, I explained "Your
vision of the world is deformed, you only see with
hate and fear. All the powers you thought you had or
you thought you had given others are meaningless
because the true force, your true perfect being, what
you've been searching for all your life, resides in
your heart. It is done. The answer to our
unconsciousness, our darkness has already been
given. The Light has already won. We just need to
realize it now… Stern is not your real name.
Please let me show you…" I offered.
She was further looking at me, not knowing
what to expect but let me approach her nevertheless.
I put my forehead against hers, my right hand
on her center, a halo of rainbow Light enveloping us
both as my mind was showing hers where her family
and ancestors were, having forgiven themselves and
others.
"You are pure Spirit of Light and Love for eternity,
incarnated as Jilla, for Joy, Inspiration, Light, Love
and Altruism. Your name means "The Lord is
Gracious." I told her, now removing my hand.
- Savta… Soon, Jilla started sobbing in
Bochi's arms and I left them both kneeling on the
grass.
Kellan was facing me now. I looked into his eyes.
They were so pure and vast like an ocean of peace.
I felt his Love vibrate with mine.
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I needed to touch him, to know it hadn't been just a
dream, I needed to feel him close to me.
He took me in his arms, his strong Light
protecting me from the rest of the world, his body
irradiating his warmth.
I was home and felt whole and safe again, I
had found him and he had found me.
He touched my face and took it in his hands.
His intense stare ignited the same fire, so strong and
so pure. It was fueled by the rhythm of our hearts,
consuming me entirely.
He kissed me like it was our first time – a
timeless zone where we surrendered to each other,
leaving, for a moment – blinded by our blazing fire –
this world behind.
I Love you… my soul shouted to his.
I Love you forever… he answered, his
forehead against mine. And he kissed me one last
time.
I was now smiling at him.
Kellan took my hand in his and we turned
around facing the sun.
It was bathing us all in its Light.
Maggy, Kellan and Jared, Tara, Wolf, Toby,
Ry, Jeanne, Scott and Bree, Jilla and Bochi… we
were all forming a beautiful symbol, resembling the
contour of a lotus whose petals were all opening at
the same time, our beautiful Rainbow Energy
growing and spreading, in front of this new World
opening to us all, this Eden, here and now.
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As Above, so Below. I heard my deep voice
cry out.
And I smiled again.
270
"And if awakening was simply waking up to what we
are in essence? And if this journey to awakening was
opening ourselves to the destruction of everything we
thought we knew, everything we heard or learned to
be true, emptying ourselves of all these delusions?
And let vacuity fill the vacuity, and be, as it is in our
heart, the incarnation of LIGHT, LOVE?
Do not follow orders, traditions, texts blindly…
Do not look outside of yourself for what you already
have inside. Listen to your deep voice and wake up,
remember who you are, let this Love and Light run
through your veins, knowing that every word, act,
thought of Love for you, each other, our Planet,
elevates us all because we all share the same logos
written in our DNA."
Amy Lee Belle.
amyleebelle./
