Just your regular self-indulgent pwp for these great characters

that just deserved to be happier than canon, hope all other ObiKaka enthusiasts out there like it.

Mature rating for cursing/bad language, mention of drugs, mention of kidnapping, mature themes, explicit sexual content.

Folks, there is explicit smut M/M slash gay sex in this story, if you don't like that sort of content, please consider exiting this fic.

A few other pointers: (1) English is not my first language, (2) I don't live in Japan, and (3) this is a cross post from Ao3 where I generally post my stuff, I'm Space_Alligator over there.

Lastly, I don't own the characters here and I'm not making any money from this fic (sadly).


"Kakashi. Good to see you, it seems like forever." Kakashi accepted the captain's pat on the back.

"Thanks, Minato-san. Though I wish we were meeting under happier circumstances."

"Indeed, a missing child is always a tragedy. We'll celebrate after you crack this case. You'll get to see Naruto and Kushina again, he's grown a lot since your last visit."

"I haven't seen him since I changed departments. I'd like that, thanks."

"Yes, he misses his Kakashi-sensei. Grab a chair, please." Minato nodded to one of the chairs in front of the table in his office.

"I was just showing him and Sasuke some judo moves, I'm hardly their sensei."

"Kushina said she misses you calling us Minato-sensei and Kushina-sensei." When they were younger, they taught together at the academy, around the time Kakashi enrolled.

"It's not for the lack of things to learn from you two, it's just not work appropriate."

"You became quite the sweet talker after becoming a detective uh? Anyway, how can I help you with this case? The faster we get started the faster we close it." Kakashi extended him the case file for reference and Minato grabbed the folder and started flipping through it.

"There's a big media circus out there. A lot of accusations getting thrown around, it was hard to get a reliable lead." He sighed just thinking of Iruka answering all those phone calls. He was up to promotion for detective next year, Kakashi hoped he made it. This type of ground working is tiring.

"The media sometimes makes it harder for us to do our work." The blond man sighed too. "You needed to request support from my department?"

"Yes, our preliminary investigation points that this could be traced back to Orochimaru's dealings."

"He seems to have a finger in everything bad that happens in this town."

"Yes, we requested to check all the info you already have on him and if there're any operations to raid his bases underway, we believe he might be holding the girl captive in his main base."

"I've got some bad news for you then. It's hard to build a case around the guy, we've been investigating him for years, but he always escapes on some technicality, his lawyer Kabuto, is as dodgy as him. Because of that all field operations that target him are on hold for now."

"Minato-san, this is a child we're talking about, each second I lose talking to you and not getting resources or intel is wasted." Kakashi can feel his tone bordering something akin to a threat or insubordination, but he can't help it. Not when a child's life and well-being are at stake.

"Easy there, Kakashi. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but between the power struggles and the red tape around the department, you're in for some disappointments if you keep this attitude up." Minato leveled serious eyes at him, but was still friendly enough.

"I thought that to be a police officer you only needed to help people?" Minato picks up on the sarcastic tone Kakashi's using but doesn't seem to mind.

"I told Tsunade that we needed new blood like you around here. Alright, look." Minato picked up a pen and a stray paper in his table and started drabbling some address. "I can't do much for you at such short notice, but you can go to one of my contacts."

Maybe this could work. It would be one business day to get access to the drug department files. Since there's no planned operation as of now, at least a couple more to try to update intel, gather informants and prepare the troops. Kakashi was looking at three to five days of his hands being tied, while the media got even closer, and Orochimaru could very well dispose of a kid that's doing more harm than good for him.

"Amegakure?" He read what was written on the paper with the address.

"That's the bar where he plays, he's the singer of some rock band, it's called Akatsuki. They play there every night, and he's hard to miss."

"How can he help me?" He would go follow after this lead and give the traditional investigation over to Iruka to keep it on track.

"He used to be involved in heavier stuff back when he was younger and ended up doing some business with Orochimaru. He settled down a bit since then, and he helps me out from time to time, mostly information. He can help you at least get confirmation where the girl is being hidden and if we're lucky, even inside one of Orochimaru's bases."

Contacts from the drugs department lead? This man must be reliable. Or at least, very loyal to money. "Do I have to take money for this? You know I don't like this Minato-san, even if it's for-"

"No, no, he's… let's say he owes me some favors. Just say my name, he won't be happy, but he'll help. He's got a good heart, despite everything."

"Alright. And what's his name?"

"Uchiha Obito."


After googling the address Minato gave him, Kakashi was not surprised to see it was literally on the wrong side of the tracks. Great. Awesome. It's not enough that he's got stupid white albino hair from his father, so he's always attracting unwanted looks around him, now he needed to be an undercover cop in a bar where a lot of illegal things were surely happening. This really won't work.

Since he started at the police academy, he barely had any clothes besides uniforms and dress shirts, and he had a feeling this bar had some sort of dress code that his current clothes wouldn't fit in at all. He still had some casual clothes from his rebel phase, from when he was younger. He called it like that in his head, but he wasn't much of a rebel, he just listened to emo music and told his father that he would never understand him. Looking back at it, he feels a weird mix of nostalgia and shame. But the black clothes still fit him, which was the important thing here, together with earrings and chains from the deep, deep bottom of his wardrobe, and he was ready to relive his angst teen phase. He thought he looked ridiculous now, but at least he didn't look like a cop, so it worked. He grabbed a mask and headed for the subway.

The picture on google must have been outdated because the bar looked even shittier standing outside of it. Whatever. Kakashi stood in line for a bit, got searched at the door by a huge guy, paid for his ticket and went inside to see what this was all about. It was not a welcoming sight. The place was dark, swarming with sweaty people already too drunk and/or high, couples making out in the dark corners, cutting very close to public sex, music blasting so loud, it seemed to want to empty Kakashi's brain from sheer volume alone.

Uchiha Obito did match Minato's description. Dark eyes and hair, full tattoo sleeve on the right arm, bad scarring on the right half of his face, front man of the band playing. All boxes checked. Minato had failed to warn Kakashi that Obito was also insanely hot and attractive, smug grin, muscled torso, velvety voice, fucking skinny pants marking his ass and his dick and Kakashi already felt like he was going into cardiac arrest. That was his contact? Fuck. It was going to be hard to focus on work today.

It's alright. He tried to calm himself. Just look cool, nonchalant, grab a beer, pretend not to be affected and hang around until the end of the show. He's probably only thinking Obito's hot anyway because of the sex appeal of being onstage. Everybody in the band looked hot. There was a red/pink hair guy on the bass, kind of short and skinny for Kakashi, but still with a pretty and serious face. On the guitar was a completely unhinged and demented individual, only in his boxers and red paint on his chest, slick gray hair, and shouting god knows what, also handsome, if you're into the mentally-unstable-could-fuck-your-brains-out-and-then-sacrifice-you-to-his-god type of guy, which wasn't Kakashi's type, but he did understand the appeal. And there was a young-looking blond guy absolutely smashing the drums with such hatred Kakashi had to wonder if he disliked his instrument, but that seem to do it for the whole female population screaming and swooning for him.

No. For Kakashi the main attraction really was Obito. The man exuded sex appeal and he knew it, and that made Kakashi somehow angrier and hornier at the same time. Those very, very tight black pants suited him, and he was wearing some sleeveless white shirt with unintelligible printing on it, though it was now completely ragged and torn, and the holes for his arms were almost showing his belly button, but Kakashi wasn't complaining. He was singing some Nine Inch Nails song from the nineties that, from what Kakashi did remember from his emo phase, had very suggestive lyrics, but he was sure it wasn't supposed to sound that sexy while Obito sang it. Not with him teasingly pulling up his shirt showing his beautiful muscles, tugging down his pants to show that happy trail of pubic hair that made Kakashi's throat very dry, while singing that he "wanna fuck you like an animal" and "wanna feel you from the inside". This job was getting harder by the second.

"Hey you! Yeah, you with the white hair! Order something or fuck off the stool." A woman with blue hair and a lip piercing who seemed to be the bartender helpfully snapped him out of his trance before he started drooling over Obito's beautiful ass.

"Do you have nonalcoholic beer?" This was still a mission, he had to try to keep his head sober.

"Where the hell do you think you are?" The bartender shot him a look as if Kakashi had grown a second head.

"Then can you make me a virgin Bloody Mary?"

"I can, but I won't. Who the fuck are you? My mother? A cop?" She put her hands on her hips and Kakashi could see her big breasts peeking out from underneath her tight top, and he remembered for a second that he wasn't only gay, he was also bi, if this angry waitress had any say in it.

"Just give me a Budweiser then."

"Only Heineken here, idiot." She pointed to a big neon sign with the Heineken label on it and slammed a long neck on the counter with such force, Kakashi feared the glass was going to shatter, before she opened it for him, and a bit of foam getting out of the bottle. "What's your tab number, asshole?" Kakashi extended his wrist to her where the number was printed on his paper bracelet and murmured a thank you, before the pissed off bartender ignored him and moved on to the next customer.

He guessed people came here for the music, because the customer service was not the best, and the beer was warm. Whatever, he's done worse for intel gathering missions. He looked up to the stage to see his very sexy contact singing and almost stripping to the hollering crowd and decided he wasn't going to complain.


"Hey boss, nice gig."

"Thanks, Kisame, you fucking ass kisser. Did Konan close the bar already?"

"Yeah, most people are on the line to pay, so she's helping over there."

"Fuck, it's always a mess when anybody from staff is not here." Yahiko couldn't make it today because he was in some charity fair for orphans that he, Nagato and Konan liked to organize, so they had to split the chores at the bar. Of course, Obito always liked to help the orphans, but this fucked up the whole staff schedule. He hated good people like his bosses.

"I told you to hire more people." Kisame shrugged at him.

"Yeah, Kisame, I'll hire more people to suck on my dick, so then I can finally fire you, how about that, asshole?"

"I'd be happy not to work weekends anymore." Kisame chuckled good naturedly.

"Urgh, you and your always-look-at-the-bright-side-of-life optimism, even my sugar tolerance has a limit." Obito took a swing at the cold beer, with some of it spilling off his mouth and wetting his shirt. Damn he was thirsty. He was going to head for the dressing room and grab a towel when he noticed a guy standing by the bar, back leaning against the countertop, a cheap paperback on his hand. Was the guy reading? In a fucking bar? "What's with the guy?"

"He's been hanging around since the show ended, saying he had business with you."

"Hell, I don't know him, but if he wants, he can have several businesses with me. Repeatedly." The guy was hot. Tall, broad shoulders, long legs, this wild white hair, a shame he couldn't see his face because of the mask.

"I told him to piss off, but he's still here. The guy seems ok and wasn't causing any trouble, so I let him be."

"Don't worry Kisame, it's more than fine, hopefully he's just a horny fan and I'm getting laid tonight." He hoped he could get the guy back to his apartment. Konan almost castrated him the last time she found him fucking in the dress room. Maybe if they were fast and silent, she wouldn't notice. Yeah, he was gonna ask Kisame to cover for them. He stalked towards the handsome guy with a beer in his hand and a mischievous grin on his face.


"Boss and his helpless addiction to beautiful men." Kisame sighed at the other bouncer of the club.

"Last time he almost ended up dickless when he hit on Deidara, does he ever learn?" Kakuzu still remembers the fight that went down, he and Kisame had to break them apart, and they broke so many whiskey bottles and even a table. So much money going down the drain just because his horny boss' gaydar didn't work well. Kakuzu almost beat them both up again when he had to pay for the damage later.

"Never, but that was a good thing, because now Deidara is our drummer and dragging tons of chicks around to our gigs. Maybe this guy and the boss can bang, and we get something out of it too."

"Wanna bet? 50 bucks they don't hook up." Kakuzu wasn't one to pass on easy money.

"Really? I was gonna say they hook up for sure."

"What? No! White hair guy is too uptight, I bet he's got like a serious job, he's like a lawyer, or accountant."

"That's true, but I don't know, I get this vibe…"

"At least your gaydar is better than Obito's." Kakuzu sighed. He was still not over the Deidara-not-being-gay-and-them-trashing-the-bar-on-a-fist-fight fiasco. He would never get over that. Fuck them.


The guy was wearing some black pants, black shirt and a denim jacket. A few earrings and chains here and there, but not too much. With the white hair and the surgical mask, he stood out a bit, but to be fair, the type of customer that came to their bar was too weird to make this almost-regular looking guy feel out of place. And yet he did. Obito didn't know if it was his appearance, his posture, his aura, just… weird vibes. He started to think maybe he didn't want business with the guy to begin with.

"Did you like the show?" Obito approached him, he was even more handsome up close, at least the part of his face he could see.

"Yes, I really like nineties music, you guys are good." A polite smile seemed to show in his face, and he tilted his head to the right like a cute puppy, showing a scar on his left eye. This made Obito even hungrier.

"Did you like the Nine Inch Nails one? Closer?" He taunted, he liked to put on a show to the crowd when they covered that particular song. He hoped the guy enjoyed himself.

"Oh… oh, that one. Yes, yes, I… liked it." He was a bit red on the cheeks, the part visible despite the mask anyway, looking all bashful and timid. Cute. He was easy to tease. And was that…? Oh, he definitely just checked Obito out. Perv.

"I'm always happy to… satisfy my fans." Obito teased him a bit more, and the back of his hand went to his mouth as if to hide it, as if there wasn't already a mask on place. Oh fuck, Obito wanted to just eat him up. He let his eyes roam around his body, trying to see what was underneath that pretty package. The guy noticed and looked like he could easily combust if Obito pushed the white-haired man's buttons anymore. "So, I hear you have business with me?"

His stance changed a bit and his tone got serious and business-like, what a shame. "We have a friend in common, Minato?"

"Namikaze Minato? Crap. Is this business or pleasure?" Fuck, Minato was the last name he wanted to hear when he was so close to securing his partner for tonight. Now he understood what was that weird aura coming from him. The aura of someone who never did anything wrong in their lives. The aura of someone working for the police.

"Sorry?"

"You work for him or are you personal friends with him?"

"This is about work."

What a shame, and such a nice catch. Obito would even let him keep the mask while they fucked. Not an option anymore, though. "Alright, fuck off then, you know the way out." He dismissed him with a hand and turned to the dressing room.

"Uchiha-san please, this is important." The guy even knew his family name. That asshole Minato, spreading Obito's secrets around his police friends.

"When is it not important? Get out of my sight."

A hand grabbed his wrist with a stronger grip than Obito expected from him. His voice was low and sober. "Please, there's a child involved."

Oh fuck, goddamned cops, always trying to do the right thing and helping people. What does he even have to do with this child? Damn it. Obito sighed. He could be such a lame ass sometimes.

"... Oh, for fuck's sake, what am I? Mother fucking Theresa? Alright, go in geez." He used the grip the white-haired man has on his wrist and brought him to the dressing room, all the while muttering and groaning at himself for being so lame. "I fucking hate the good guys! Oi! Kisame, give us a break, will ya?" Usually, he asked that from Kisame if he was going to fuck someone in the dressing room, since there was no lock on the door, but this time, it was for a much sadder reason. He was going to talk to a cop. What had the world come to?

"We won't disturb boss!" Kisame yelled back before turning to Kakuzu in a lower tone. "You owe me, Kakuzu."

"Here's your dirty money, Kisame."


Shit. Obito was so hot up close. He could see freckles on his cheek and his shoulders, it was so cute, Kakashi wanted to lick them. He had several piercings on his ears, one on his eyebrow, one on his lower lip, one on his tongue and counting, Kakashi was dying to know where else he was pierced and lick him. His right arm was a mess of heavily scarred tissue and a gigantic tattoo that covered his skin in a series of patterns following the scars themselves, as if trying to highlight them instead of covering them. It was interesting work if you're into that. Which was the case for Kakashi. He wanted to lick Obito's tattoos too.

And his voice, god, his fucking voice was so much deeper when he talked. It sounded like what dark molasses tasted like and those low notes hit Kakashi's ears and made him vibrate inside, and crap, he wanted to fuck that voice.

"So, what's with the mask? Don't tell me there's another pandemic going around already." He was startled again by said voice. Shit, his conversations with Obito wouldn't end well if he kept talking like this.

"Not that I know of." He answered on automatic pilot through the thumps on his ears. He tried to lounge casually against a wall and look around the dressing room with great interest, just look anywhere else but Obito, so he could have the mental capacity for a minimum civil conversation with the guy.

"Thank fuck, my line of business wouldn't survive that again. So, what gives?" Obito motioned to his mask and Kakashi tugged on it to cover his nose better. People were always giving him a hard time because of it.

"Let's just say I'm a shy guy?"

"With a pretty face like yours? I see no reason to be." The pierced eyebrow rose and the (not so much) hidden meaning of the comment was not lost on Kakashi. He tried changing gears and start the business talk before he got completely swept with this guy.

"Uchiha-san-"

"Uchiha-san is my uncle c'mon, call me Obito. And c'mon take a sit too, take your jacket off." Obito sat on a chair and lit up a cigarette while watching closely every move Kakashi made while he sat on the couch, especially when he did take his jacket off. Ok, he admitted, he was happy to have so much attention on him. It felt good to be wanted. Especially by a hot piece of ass like Obito. Even if he was a criminal.

"Obito then." He agreed.

"What's your name again, pretty face?"

"Hatake Kakashi." He moved to show his police badge to Obito, but he waved him off nodding his head.

"I'll call you Kakashi then, how about it?" He puffed on his cigarette.

"It works for me." Faking nonchalance was getting harder under that smirking gaze of his.

"So tell me, Ka-ka-shi, how may I be at your service?" Obito let each syllable roll on his tongue while he leaned towards Kakashi, putting his elbows on his knees. Thanks to his torn-up shirt, Kakashi could see tattoos on his chest too. God, the guy was a masochist. Did the tattoos go even lower? Up to his…?

"Obito, Namikaze Minato sent me here." His voice sounded flat even to him, but he subconsciously thanked whatever part of his brain was still working after seeing Obito's pecs. He was sure it was a significantly small part of his brain. He maybe had only two brain cells left. If he was lucky.

"And how is he? Uncle Minato? It's been a while, how's Kushina and the brat?"

"They're fine, little Naruto has too much energy. You know kids." That light up something on Kakashi's brain. He was close enough with Minato to know Kushina and Naruto. That's important, as a police captain, and Kushina being a detective too, they were very paranoid with safety, and who had access to their family information. Just who was this Obito guy?

"Cute, what did you two want with me? I swear I'm behaving, scouts honor." He held his right hand in position, while holding his cigarette, which certainly made the gesture look less reliable.

"We're investigating the disappearance of a kid from the neighborhood, and we could use your help." Kakashi took the picture he'd been carrying around since he got it two days ago when receiving the case's file and handed to Obito.

"Heard it on the news, never seen her." He handed it back after analyzing the photo. "Why do you care anyway? Isn't uncle Minato in the drugs department?"

"He is, but I'm in the Special Victims Unit, we take care of children, women, LGBT community… vulnerable folk."

"Aren't you a hero? A pretty face and a noble heart, I'm in love already."

He knew it was only sarcasm, but Kakashi was letting Obito's empty flattery go up to his head. He had to constantly remind himself that the guy was a player, only trying to get in his pants. Not that Kakashi would be against it, but he was here at work. He was so caught up in their little game that the love comment stinged a little, he kind of wished it was true.

He cleared his throat awkwardly and refocused his thoughts. "The mother of this child works at a local strip club, which is just a front for their drug dealing and prostitution, we believe the child might have been taken as collateral for a drug deal gone wrong."

As he explained the situation to Obito, he finally understood what Minato said about him having a good heart. Up to this point he'd been talking to a façade of Obito, the cynical, cool, collected person he needed to be to run this shitty joint. Now, he was livid, he looked like he needed to put someone's head through a wall. Multiple times.

"That's... god, fucking assholes, a kid? Fucking disgusting." He tensed up completely and Kakashi knew he now had an ally on this case.

"Yes, for me, I couldn't care less about the drugs and prostitution, I just want to get to the girl alive and well." Kakashi tried to excuse himself out of trouble. That wasn't entirely true, because as a cop he was required to report any suspicion of illegal activity, but he'd learned that you can't always play by the book. Something his father had always known, and what made Sakumo such a great detective, but what came back to haunt him eventually.

"Alright." Obito agreed easily, surprising Kakashi. "But I don't know how I can help with that." He shrugged and took another puff at his cigarette.

"I was told you had dealings with Sanin Orochimaru in the past?"

"Is he…? Is he the one that…? Oh, fucking snake asshole cunt, disgusting pedophile!" Obito got up from his chair and was ready to kick it through the wall, but he gained some semblance of control and just stomped his foot. He sighed and put out his cigarette on an ashtray, looking more tired and older.

"Exactly, we believe there's a bigger scheme and we needed a way in to infiltrate his ranks." That's the core of what he was asking Obito, he needed a quick way in, without stepping on no one's toes back in the drug department.

"You want me to put you two in contact?"

"And vouch for me, if possible." He sent Obito his best apologetic smile, and the other chuckled.

"You know, my word ain't worth shit these days."

"Better than the word of a cop." Kakashi laughed and Obito joined him.

"At least you don't look like a pig."

"I know you didn't mean it as a compliment, but I'll take it anyway."

Obito snorted at him. "Smartass, I'm just saying Uncle Minato never got infiltration missions because he's a goodie two shoes that sticks out like a fucking neon sign with that noble aura of his. But you? You I can work with."

The inuendo again hit Kakashi in the wrong way. Or the right way, depending how you look at it. He was not proud of getting so horny during a mission, it never happened before. But he was savoring the blatant stare Obito was sending his way, as he eye-fucked Kakashi from head to toe. Fuck, he never wanted to fuck someone so badly in his life.

"Do we have a deal?" He managed to say despite his dry throat.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, I'll help you, but you're on your own after that." Obito raised his hands.

"Don't need your protection. Just your contact."

"We'll talk again when you're sleeping with the fishes." Obito snorted and Kakashi was amused at the Italian mob catch phrase. "So, when do I have the pleasure of seeing your pretty face again? If you liked our little show, you could come back tomorrow already."

"I did like it, you have a… magnetic energy." Two can play this game. He too could throw double meanings around and stare at Obito's groin area.

"Oh, do I? Like what you see?" He did. He liked it a bit too much. But he couldn't touch it. "Not now anyway" a small voice in his head told him. There was no law saying he couldn't pursuit Obito later. Right?

"We can meet tomorrow at 2pm here." Kakashi sobered up and got to his feet before they both did something they regretted. At least, before they did something Kakashi regretted. Obito didn't strike him as the type to regret anything he's ever done in his life.

"My, my, you'll take me on a date?"

"If you can arrange a meeting with Orochimaru for tomorrow, then yes."

"Yeah, I can do that. I'll pull some strings. But you have to doll up to come meet with me."

Kakashi could only smirk at that. He just might doll up then. He grabbed his jacket and opened the door. "See you, Obito."

"See you tomorrow then, pretty face."


"Kisame, he's not limping, gimme back my money." Obito heard Kakuzu's pissed voice from the corridor. To be fair, Kakuzu is always pissed off.

"That's not a way to tell for sure if they fucked or not." Oh, that's what this is about then. Obito lit up another cigarette. He wished they had fucked. His poor employees couldn't even begin to guess that Kakashi was actually a cop and not a fuck buddy. The guy masks well, he never heard of a cop with platinum dyed hair before. And he heard of gay cops before, but not one who liked flirting on the clock. Maybe Obito was ok with the fact that Kakashi was a cop. They could have fun despite their artistic differences.

"Yeah, it fucking is, I don't know if Obito's got a fucking baseball bat for a dick, but whoever he fucks always walks funny afterwards." Obito chuckled, was that the rumor going around about his cock? A baseball bat? He'd sure like that.

"You know, we can just ask the guy. Hey boss, did you and that guy just fucked?" And sure as hell Kisame was barging through the half opened door to the dressing room, wanting to hear about his sex life.

"Oh Kisame, I don't kiss and tell! I'm a proper lady!" He battered his eye lashes at him innocently.

"Here's your money back, Kakuzu." Kisame groaned and cash exchanged hands again.

"What? Are you guys betting on my love life?"

"If you and the boy with the freaky white hair were gonna hook up, I bet you wouldn't." Kakuzu explained while he pocketed his bet.

"I bet you were gonna fuck. What a disappointment, boss." Kisame shook his head.

"Well, Kisame, you can keep the money then, because I am very close to winning this bet for you."