Ranma 1/2: Movie 3
"Duel of the Dragon"
or
"A No-Holds-Barred Clash for Survival! Defeat the Unbeatable Dragon Spawn!"
VOICE CAST
SARAH STRANGE as Ranma/VENUS TERZO as Ranko
PETER KELAMIS as Kenma
BRAD SWAILE as Mousse
MICHAEL DONOVAN as Ryoga
LENORE ZAHN as Herb [female]/NEIL ROSS as Herb [male]
DOUG PARKER as Mint
KEENAN CHRISTENSON as Lime
MATT SMITH as Paprika
MYRIAM SIROIS as Akane
CATHY WESELUCK as Shampoo
KATHLEEN BARR as Cologne
SAFFRON HENDERSON as Tsubasa
ADDITIONAL VOICES:
TERRY MACGOVERN
DAVID KAYE
WILLOW JOHNSON
GARRY CHALK
ANGELA COSTAIN
JANYSE JAUD
NOTE: Please read and review both this chapter and the previous one, okay?
COLD OPEN
Today, we join a band of heroes on a quest…but not just any band of heroes! Take a closer look, and you might just recognize them, in spite of their outfits.
At the back of the party was Tsubasa Kurenai, the paladin. Although dressed like a beautiful young woman, he was indeed a strapping young lad who was quite fond of playing roles.
Next up, Ryunosuke Fujinami, one of the group's two fighters. She was very proudly displaying her femininity, in spite of her upbringing.
Then came Junichi Masuda, the artificer. He had a way with machinery and all things technical.
Following him were the duo of Daisuke Koyasu and Hiroshi Tsujitani. One was a ranger while the other was a mage. Daisuke was a master of deadpan humor and dry wit, while Hiroshi was more of a passive observer.
And leading the team were the two brothers, Ranma and Kenma Saotome. Ranma was the second fighter of the group, and Kenma was the resident cleric. Although they didn't always see eye to eye, they were always looking out for each other, like all good siblings should.
And their current destination was the towering fortress known as Kuno Castle, which was centered within the township of Furinkan. Long had it been seized in the sinister grip of the Kuno Dynasty, who used their influence and wealth to keep control over the township and its people, while they ran roughshod, doing as their devious hearts desired.
Naturally, someone had to stop them….so this fellowship would be the ones to accomplish the task.
The world these heroes lived in was anything but ordinary. There were a plethora of strange things happening on almost every other day.
But the Kuno Dynasty had to be stopped once and for all, and this band of heroes were the ones who—
"DAMMIT, BOY, GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS!"
"Ut!" Kenma exclaimed as he dodged a punch to the face, and did a spin-kick to Genma's gut, knocking him on his ass.
"Oof!" the fat man grunted as he fell to the ground.
"Not bad for someone whose 'head is in the clouds', yeah?" asked Kenma.
"You just got lucky, boy," Genma retorted as he got to his feet. "And you'll need to rely on more than luck if you want even a chance of becoming the—"
"The heir to the Anything-Goes School of Indiscriminate Grappling, yappity-yap-yap," Kenma cut him off, making a puppet mouth with his left hand.
"Hey! You shouldn't mock your father!" snapped Genma.
"You're barely a father, and even then it's only when you find it convenient!" Kenma shot back.
"Listen here, you little—" Genma started, before getting thrown across the room by Ranma.
"Word of advice, Pop. It's probably not a good idea to go into a lecture when you're in the middle of a sparring session," the dark-haired boy smirked, brushing his hands off.
"For shame, Ranma." chided Genma as he stood up and brushed himself off. "Attacking an opponent when his back is turned!"
"How about you climb down from your high horse?" Ranma commented. "You're talking like you wouldn't do the same thing."
"And you have!" Kenma added.
"Just do as I say, not as I do!" their father demanded.
"Better idea: how about neither?" Ranma replied.
"As fun as this is, isn't there something else we could be doing?" inquired Kenma.
"Eh! How about we go flying around town?" Ranma suggested.
"Hey, sounds good to me," Kenma replied. "Maybe we can stop by the pharmacy, or grab some games…it's been a while since we just had a chance to be—y'know, normal-ish!"
Ranma reached over and tousled his hair. "Then that's the plan, little bro," he smiled. "One day free of martial-arts mayhem!"
Kenma nodded. "Then let's go!" he declared. "FLYING NIMBUS!"
On command, the yellow cloud zoomed in through the window and screeched to a halt in front of Kenma.
"And this is the perfect time to try out the new hoverboard that Junichi built for me." Ranma said as he grabbed said vehicle. Unlike most hoverboards in real life, this one is a lot closer to the one from Back to the Future II, so it actually flies.
"Oh-kay…let's go have some fun!" Kenma exclaimed confidently.
Rearing back, the cloud soared out of the nearest window and off into the sky.
"Hey! Come back here, you two!" Genma angrily shouted. "We're not done sparring yet!"
"Can't hear ya, pop!" Ranma called as he blasted off. "It's just too windy outside!"
"Dammit, boy! You will come back here and show me the proper respect!" Genma demanded. But for all his bluster, he may as well have been shouting into the wind.
Ranma soon caught up to his brother, and they were soaring through the skies.
MEANWHILE, AT THE NEKOHANTEN…
"We're closin' up shop for the day, Shampoo," said Cologne as she wiped down a table. "So...how about you go out and have some fun?"
Shampoo raised a brow as she placed down the serving tray. "...is there something wrong, great-grandmother?" she asked.
"Well, it's just that some shady guests are coming," replied Cologne. "And I wouldn't want a young girl like yourself getting mixed up with this bunch. Besides...I still owe you for that Contrary Jewel shenanigan I pulled a year ago."
Shampoo gave a glimmer of a smirk. "...I suppose when you're right, you're right," she responded as she headed out the door and hopped onto her bicycle.
As she pedaled down the road, her thoughts, naturally, turned to the Tendo Dojo.
"I'll go see Kenma," she decided. "We can do nothing together…at least, that's how it'll start."
And so she started singing to herself as she pedaled her bicycle.
Otto dokkoi kako…
Otto dokkoi mirai
Edoroporisu wa hisuterii!
Kitto matteta haroo
Zattsu hissatsu hiiroo
Shippo no haeta metaru ninja da yo…!
While she kept on going, she didn't realize she was being watched from the shadows. The voyeur's fuzzy ears twitched as his heart was beating like a drum. He'd never made any sort of contact with a female before…so naturally, he was all too curious.
As Shampoo continued on her way, she saw Mousse nearby, walking the same path as she was.
"Mousse, I know what you're going to ask, and no, I'm not interested," she said.
"Good to know nothing's changed, but I wasn't going to ask you out," the bespectacled boy responded. "These are for someone else."
Shampoo glanced at what the boy was carrying—a bouquet of black roses, which he'd purchased on his own dime.
"That's a little different from your usual, isn't it?" Shampoo asked.
Mousse smiled—it was genuine, not one of those wobbly smiles he used to have around her. "Yeah…I think I was long overdue."
"Well, I guess I should wish you good luck," Shampoo spoke up as she came to a stoplight.
"Thanks," nodded Mousse.
"So…Kodachi, huh?" Shampoo inquired.
"Yup," responded Mousse. "Black Rose of my heart."
"Will we ever get an explanation for why you decided on her?" inquired Shampoo.
"One of these days, I'll tell," Mousse replied as he turned left, and the light went green. And so, Shampoo continued on her way.
MEANWHILE, AT THAT MOMENT…
Ryoga was, as usual, eyeballing Akane from afar and hopelessly pining over her.
She's coming this way! he yelped, inwardly. OK, Ryoga…you can do it…you can declare your love for her!
But as he made his way out from behind the wall, he took a few steps—
"Akane, I—EEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
…and plummeted into an open manhole.
"Again?!" groaned one of the nearby workers. "Seriously, we have got to cordon off these work areas. Because if we don't, more people are gonna fall in, and that's plenty more lawsuits!"
"I tell ya, these things are accidents just waiting to happen," said another. "All I'm saying is, we wouldn't have a problem if more people watched where they were going. It's these phones, man. They're so damn distracting, nobody looks where they're going!"
"Eh, it's the '90s, what can I say?" shrugged his friend. "Tech is progressing, and they can't get enough."
As Akane continued walking, the wall next to her began to bulge and crack, until it fell apart before her eyes. When the dust cleared, she saw a tall, bulky individual clad in animal print, standing and panting before her eyes.
"You…" he grunted. "...you're a woman, yes…?"
Akane raised a brow. "Who wants to know?"
"So it is true…" the bulky young man whispered, his eyes wet. "...for the first time in my life, I'm interacting with an actual woman!...now I want more."
As he reached over to her, arms outstretched, Ryoga sprang out of the manhole, dripping wet and panting heavily, and then he hoisted his umbrella over the big lummox's head, before smacking him with it.
"You disgusting, repugnant pervert!" he snapped.
"Ow!" screamed the big guy, clutching his head. "What's the big idea?!"
Akane turned her head. "Ryoga?" she asked. "What are you doing here?"
"I had some business in town," responded Ryoga before he turned to the big guy. "How dare you show such disrespect to Akane Tendo! You're going to pay for that!"
"And are YOU going to make me?" spat the striped boy.
"You better believe it!" Ryoga snapped.
TEN MINUTES LATER...
As Ranma and Kenma were soaring overhead, they noticed something on the ground.
"Eh?" asked Kenma. "What's that down there?"
"I dunno..." responded Ranma. "Only 1 thing to do."
"Alright, time to land and take a look," replied Kenma as he steered his cloud towards the ground, while Ranma steered his hoverboard down.
On the ground, they found the beaten, unconscious form of Ryoga, whose eyes were rolled up into his head.
"Psst! Hey, Ryoga!" Ranma said as he shook the lost boy.
"No, no, no, not like that," said Kenma as he picked up Ryoga, gently. "Like so…"
First, he smacked Ryoga around a few times.
SMAK! THWAK! SMAK!
Next, he pounded on his head like a hammer.
WHOMP! WHOMP! WHOMP!
And then, he took a bucket, stuck it on his head, and took two sticks.
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! CLANG!
As the bucket was lifted from Ryoga's head, the bandana-clad boy was clutching his skull as his eyes were spinning. "Ta-da!" Kenma exclaimed.
"Keeen-ma….!" Ryoga managed to say. "Once the world stops spinning…I'm gonna wring your neck like a dish towe—*OOLP!*"
His face immediately turned a sickly shade of green, and he scampered over to a nearby trash can, in which he emptied the contents of his stomach.
"Warning: results may vary," Kenma added on.
Once Ryoga was done puking his guts out, he explained the whole situation.
"Akane was kidnapped?" asked Ranma.
"I guess it was only a matter of time before the movies started doing that again," Kenma shrugged. "Because apparently she's the only one worthy of being kidnapped."
"I beg to differ, but that's neither here nor there." Ken's older brother said dryly.
"Look, all I know is, whoever did it…wasn't an ordinary human!" Ryoga exclaimed, getting a faraway look in his eyes. "His power was…was—"
"Unimaginable? Unparalleled?" Ranma inquired
"...well, to be honest, it was really huge, but that works too," said Ryoga.
"Alright, so where'd he get off to?" asked Kenma.
"The Cat…Cafe…" Ryoga groaned. "T-take…me there…"
Kenma glanced at his elder brother. "...so, should we?" he inquired.
"Well, it seems like he knows where the kidnappers went, so let's take him," responded Ranma.
"...oh-kay," Kenma replied. "But no double-crosses. And that's non-negotiable!"
"I don't think he's in good enough shape to do anything like that."
"Perhaps not physically," stated Kenma. "But his brain isn't nursing any bruises. …well, it wasn't before I did what I did."
"Just…take me…there!" Ryoga weakly demanded.
"Alright, alright," said Kenma. "C'mon, bro; let's give baby what he wants."
"Up ya go!" Ranma said as he hoisted Ryoga over his shoulder and got back on his hoverboard.
Kenma got back on the cloud and adjusted himself before they headed off.
ELSEWHERE, AT THE NEKOHANTEN…
"So…the Musk Dynasty still lives," said Cologne, glancing down at the map on the table. "Here I thought you were all gone. Guess I was wrong."
The cloaked stranger said nothing, simply lost in their thoughts. On their shoulder sat a large, menacing condor, who pecked at one of his wings.
Suddenly, the doors swung open, and in came Shampoo. "Great-grandma, I'm back…and I have company," she said, gesturing to the person with her; he was a head shorter, had fox-like ears, and a little tail.
"Master Herb! I have found a woman!" he exclaimed proudly.
The condor let out an unimpressed SQUAK.
"I don't recall asking for your opinion, Paprika," the fox-eared boy retorted. "I also gained something called 'ice cream'."
The doors flew open again, and this time came the striped boy, with an angry Akane kicking and pounding on his shoulder.
"Master! I have found a woman with which to have tea!" he bellowed.
"Lime…Mint…I have found the treasure," said Herb as he got up. "We'll be leaving momentarily."
"Aw…we're leaving already?" asked Mint. "But I haven't even finished my ice cream, master!"
"Mint…you are a warrior of the Musk Dynasty," Herb said, his response sudden and firm. "You do not have time to waste on distractions like women, and ice cream."
"But it's SO good!" Mint gushed.
Lime leaned over. "...now I want one," he mused. "And you say girls like these?"
"Yup!" Mint nodded, right before Paprika snapped the cone in his beak and ate the remains. "...ah, I'm sad now."
"Now, we shall be on our—" Herb started before he was interrupted yet again, this time by the arrival of Ranma, Kenma and Ryoga.
"So! You're the guy in charge, eh?" asked Ranma.
"Yes, yes," Herb waved him off. "Lime, Mint, as I was saying, we are leaving. And no souvenirs."
"Aww…" groaned Lime as he placed Akane off to the side. "Now I'm sad."
"Now, if you have any brains in that head of yours, you'll step aside," ordered Herb. "Every second I spend here, my treasure sits unclaimed."
"Wait! You're not gonna try and fight me?" Ranma asked in confusion.
"What would be the point?" asked Herb. "I have my own agenda to carry out…now please stand aside. Note that I didn't have to ask nicely, but I chose to."
"You pompous peacock!" Ryoga snapped as he sprang to his feet. "You send your goon to kidnap Akane, and then you act like you have the right to ask us to move?!"
"Eh?" Herb raised a brow beneath his cloak.
"No dice!" Ryoga declared. "TAKE THIS!"
"Ryoga, no!" called Cologne. "You must not strike this one!"
But her warning fell on deaf ears. Ryoga lunged towards Herb, unleashing a frenzy of jabs, all of which were dodged, then Herb effortlessly smacked him up into the rafters.
"I warned you before, did I not?" the cloaked combatant said, as Ryoga hit the floor behind him.
"This is why I advised you not to fight him," said Cologne, looking grimly towards what had just transpired.
"So, does anyone else here wish to share his fate?" Herb asked, slightly annoyed.
Everyone immediately backed off, either out of fear or apprehension. Noticing this, Herb smiled.
"Very smart, then," he said. "Cologne, maybe next time I see you…I'll order takeout."
As he continued towards the door, he felt a snag on his cloak. "...oh, damn," he muttered.
"N-no…" grunted Ryoga, as Herb turned back. Upon doing so, he saw that the bandana-wearing boy was what had caught his cloak.
"What is it this time?" grumbled Herb, as though he were dealing with an unruly child.
"You're…not getting…away…!" the lost boy declared.
Herb rolled his eyes. "How vexing…" he muttered. "Paprika."
The bird squawked in response.
"Get him," he instructed, pointing at Ryoga.
Paprika didn't need to be told twice, because he immediately flapped towards Ryoga and started attacking him with his talons and beak.
Ryoga used his left hand to swat at his feathered foe, but as he backed off, he pulled the cloak away, revealing what was beneath.
Turns out he was a she, with short white hair, a blue middlepoint, and a long silvery ponytail dangling off the back end…as well as one of her breasts being exposed.
She wore amber-colored shoulder pads, and a white tunic.
"Whoa!" exclaimed Ranma. "So he's a she!"
"Who would've guessed?" asked Kenma.
Mint and Lime, however, were completely transfixed by the sight of the exposed breast. Their shock remained, even as Herb buttoned her shirt.
"Well, I suppose I should congratulate you," she said. "Now you've managed to make me especially angry."
Before Herb could strike Ryoga again, Ranma moved him out of the way as quick as a flash.
"What?!" exclaimed the warrior. "Why now do you choose to interfere?"
"Believe me, I hate his guts as much as he hates mine, but I'm not gonna let him go out like that," the ponytailed boy said as he assumed his fighting stance. "I'll take you on!"
Herb raised a brow. "Is that right, then?" she sneered. "OK, I suppose I could use a workout."
"Be careful, bro," said Kenma. "This Herb is one tough gal!"
"Come on, Ken. What's the worst that could happen?" Ranma brushed off Ken's concerns.
"Ask a stupid question…" Kenma trailed off, as Herb squinted, before she stuck her hand out and fired a flame blast.
Ranma spotted it and jumped into the air to avoid it…and fell right into Herb's trap.
"RYU-SEI-HISHO!" the warrior woman exclaimed as she backflipped over his head, proceeding to pepper him with a multitude of kicks and punches along the front and back of his body.
...I didn't even see her! Ranma thought as he fell right into a nearby bucket of water. Startled by the sudden impact, he suddenly felt himself changing into Ranko again.
"No…no, dammit…!" she grunted as she got to her feet.
Herb looked intrigued. "Well, well…now this changes things…" she mused.
Mint and Lime were, once again, astonished by the sight of another woman.
"Mint. Fetch me…the pail!" demanded their superior.
"Yes, master!" Mint said as he scurried off, then rummaged through the very large backpack posted nearby. After several seconds, he popped back out holding an ornate-looking bucket and a ladle.
Cologne raised a brow. "What are you planning, Herb?" she inquired.
"Just keep watching, old woman," Herb responded as she spooned out some water, and splashed it over Ranko's head. "And you: be grateful that I spared your life."
"What the hell did you do to me?" Ranko asked as she tried to change back to her male form.
"Mint, Lime, we're leaving," Herb instructed to her flunkies as she turned and headed for the door with a sassy little hair-flip.
"Right!" Mint and Lime nodded obediently as they grabbed their backpacks and headed to the exit.
Ranko reached out, desperate. "H-hey…come back here…" she grunted, before she suddenly felt very weak. And then, she collapsed to the floor, unconscious.
"Ranma!" Kenma exclaimed as he scurried to his brother's side.
NEXT TIME: The secret of the Musk Dynasty is revealed, and the journey begins.
