Hi :) sorry it's been a while and this chapter is rather short but I wanted to post something. Also I've been sick and still am so sorry if this chapter isn't up to my usual standard.

I am not a medical professional, I have no clue if anything I said makes any sense at all, and also I could only do a limited amount of research in the matter, because just reading about wounds and stuff makes me feel light headed and nauseous, I did my best but let me know if I'm completely off base. I know arrow wounds are some of the worst injuries and the impact an arrow has alone can do some serious damage to ones body. So I'm going with Adrian chose arrows that wouldn't lead to too much damage in his chest area, because the goal was more to mentally fuck with him than physically in that instant and he didn't want to risk Oliver getting killed accidentally by the arrows. His goal is to keep him alive. And the chest area is very tricky and easily damaged with a weapon, especially with one as potent and lethal as an arrow.


Everyday the past keeps haunting me it's our reality some say it isn't right but to us it's life

Oliver

Oliver slowly became alert. Something had woken him up, but he wasn't sure what. He felt disoriented and in pain, and it took him a moment to adjust to the light in the room. It was the familiar sound of bare feet on the wooden floor that had him relax and move his head towards the sound, an act that was followed by aching pain in his neck and shoulders, watching Sara quietly leave their bedroom. He closed his eyes again for a moment, in hopes the burning sensation would disappear.

He slowly blinked them open again after a minute, giving them time to adjust to the brightness in the room. Oliver turned his head towards the window, realizing it was a rare sunny December day. That was nice. He wished he'd be able to go outside and enjoy it, but he doubted it was an option, especially after last night's trip to the bathroom and the aftermath he was still suffering from. Everything still hurt, but maybe with Sara and Roy's help, he'd manage to go out to the balcony for a bit. He should be able to walk the short distance it would take to reach the balcony door in their bedroom. It wasn't that far. At least with some help, he should manage, probably. Get some fresh air after the days, he guessed, he'd have to ask Sara how long he'd been gone, he'd been chained up in a stale, damp, dark room. Yeah, going outside for a bit would be nice. He was still musing on whether or not it was an option when Sara returned. A cup of coffee and a bowl of oatmeal, he was sure, it was her preferred breakfast, in hand.

"Hey, stud, how you doin'?" She grinned at him and winked while walking to her side of the bed, rejoining him. He considered lying for a moment, but then decided against it, knowing it would be useless and also not fair to her.

"Not too good, Doc. Everything still hurts. A nurse's outfit might help, though." But he did try to keep the lighter, more teasing mood she'd chosen in contrast to the way too heavy one from last night, even though she was doing a sucky job at hiding the concerned look in her eyes. He liked the thought and appreciated her attempt at keeping things light and add some humor to the situation. And put in some extra effort himself, trying to get some of the concern and worry off of her face and hopefully at least a smile, if not an actual laugh, from her in return.

"I'll check if I can find one that fits, not sure the effect will be the same, though." She winked at him, the wished for grin gracing her face and lighting it up as her now slightly twinkling eyes pointedly strayed to her rounded stomach, reminding him of that time several years ago, that she'd shown up at the door of the frat house he'd been living in at the time dressed in a sexy nurse's outfit and just a coat over it to keep inappropriate looks, comments or questions from his frat brothers away. She'd looked smoking hot, and they'd had a lot of fun that weekend.

"I'm sure you'll look as hot and smoking as ever. Thank you. How bad is it?" He reassured her and then added as an afterthought, looking at her intensely needing to make sure she understood what he meant, before learning the exact extent of his wounds.

"Always." She leaned over and gave him a kiss, she lingered for a moment before straightening slightly but looking him straight in the eyes.

"You've had worse. But the one in your thigh is pretty bad, we got to keep an eye on it and make sure it won't get infected. You'll also have to be careful not to overextend it or make it worse by too much movement and pressure on it. So far, the permanent damage that you'll have to deal with shouldn't be too severe, but if you fuck it up by not giving it the time it needs to properly heal, it might end up giving you even more trouble than your knee currently is. It could lead to your nerves being affected and your bone, muscle and tendons not healing correctly. It's obvious the arrows to your shoulders and chest weren't meant to seriously injure you, but the force of the hit has most likely led to bruises or potentially even hairline fractures in the bones underneath and obviously pierced the muscles above it. But he purposely used less effective arrows and chose to hit bone and muscle, instead of organs or arteries, and make sure the damage isn't too great and won't leave you with potentially life-threatening wounds. You'll still have to take it easy and limit movement to a minimum to not make it any worse, if the bones are cracked or broken and to ensure there won't be permanent damage to the muscle that will limit the range of movements you'll have with your arms. We might want to consider having Caitlin do an x-ray of your entire body to make sure we don't miss any breaks or internal damage. Just to be on the safe side. Had the cut on your hand been any deeper, you'd risked permanent nerve damage. Your wrists are pretty badly scrapped from the chains, but they shouldn't take too long to heal, it hasn't been chafed to reach flesh yet. You got lucky." He bit his tongue to keep from interrupting her and ask follow-up questions to his wounds the moment he realized just how difficult it was for her and how much she was struggling to stay clinical and objective while giving him the detailed list of injuries he had procured during his capture. Oliver watched her closely and saw the moment the cracks in her façade widened until the first tear fell from her eyes after she finished with the worst of his wounds. He lifted his arm, ignoring the pain the action brought with it, and took hold of her hand, drawing her to him.

"Come here, Pretty Bird." She followed his pull on her hand and let him draw her into his arms, still acutely aware of his wounds given the gentleness with which she lowered herself onto his chest and the place she once again chose to rest her head on, while the dam broke, and she shattered in his arms.

Sara's body was rocked by the desperate sobs and his collarbone was soaked in her tears, as the last three words she'd spoken before falling apart reverberated in his got wrapped both arms around her, pulling her a little closer at the echo of her voice in his mind;You got eased up after a moment stroking her hair and back, just making sure she knew he was here, trying to comfort her the only way he knew how, but also knowing that she needed this just as much as he had needed his two emotional breakdowns. He kissed her crown, watching her like this nearly broke him, it hurt more than his body, but there was nothing else he could do or say. All he could do was be here and hold her through it. They stayed like this even after Sara's sobs had quieted down and her tears had dried. Just enjoying each other's company. It was only when Sara shifted a little and carefully pushed herself up that he broke the comfortable silence that had enfolded them.

"How long was I gone?" Sara turned her eyes up to his at the question.

"Six days, a little more." She replied, sounding a little hoarse, before turning away and taking hold of what he was sure by now was her cold coffee. He watched her take several sips before replacing the cup with the bowl containing her breakfast before moving back towards him, trying to get comfortable while beginning to eat the oatmeal inside.

Six days, almost an entire week. He let the newfound knowledge run through his head and set while watching Sara eat.

"Sorry, I was going to warm yours up as soon as you were awake, got a bit sidetracked and my blood sugar's about to hit the floor. I'll get you something as soon as I no longer risk fainting when getting up." She must have noticed him watching her, and honestly, he figured as much knowing her and he was glad she was prioritizing herself and Mila, besides he wasn't sure he felt like eating. Rationally he knew he should, but he felt kind of nauseous. So, there was no need for her to rush her breakfast.

"It's all good, enjoy. I can wait. Besides, I'm not sure I could stomach any food right now, anyway." He smiled at her, placing his hand on her thigh, ignoring the ache that came with the movement, since any and all movement brought pain with it in one way or another. Sara looked down at him with a concerned expression on her face at his words. He considered for a moment to backtrack but then again, she'd know he'd lied once she was done with her food and would try to get him to eat something as well. He hated worrying her though.

"Some tea might be fine though. And yeah, maybe having Caitlin do an x-ray might not be a bad idea." He added knowing he needed to get some fluids into him and then continued when realizing he'd never given her an answer, also hoping him agreeing to her idea might ease some of her concern. And given the information she'd provided him with, adding her assumptions, plus the constant pain he was in, being cautious and making sure wasn't a bad idea. Especially, since he had let her words run through his mind again last night and she was right, and he wanted to be able to enjoy physical activities with their daughter, preferably without any more aches than he was already struggling with. So, listening to her and taking it easy, going against his instincts, was what he was going to do, or at least he would try. He still planned to get the knee surgery Sara'd tried to get him to for years once Adrian and Ruvé were taken care of. Knowing full well he'd be out of commission for a while and not letting it properly heal before getting into a fight would make the entire exercise pointless or even worsen the damage.

Oliver wasn't ready yet to face the decision he'd made at the Bunker. He stood by it, at least he was pretty sure he did, but he was realistic enough to know just because he chose to no longer go out as the Green Arrow wouldn't mean Adrian was going to leave him and his family alone. And he was still firmly behind his conviction that Mila deserved to grow up in a safer environment than Star City currently was. She deserved a home that wasn't overrun by criminals. He just wasn't sure what that meant… his family did own a couple of properties in the countryside, away from big cities maybe…. Maybe that would be the better solution than him, and potentially Sara once Mila was born and older depending on his wife's decision if she wanted to join him in the field again or not, risking their lives every night to try and save a city he was no longer sure could even be saved but no matter what they chose to do, Adrian would have to be taken care of first because he was sure he wouldn't let up, not even if he packed everything up, took Sara and moved to the other side of the world. There had been something familiar in Chase's eyes that made him sure of that, it had been the same glimmer that he'd seen in Slade's eyes. That thought made him recall some of Adrian's threats.

"Sara, there's something… Adrian… he, he threatened William. He said he was looking for him and that he was going to find him, and I don't know. I don't know if it's an empty threat or not. I don't know what to do." He wasn't sure why the thought crossed his mind only just now and not before. William could be in serious danger or not. He felt like no matter what move he was going to make it would be the wrong one and lead to his son ending up hurt. But he also knew that he wasn't the most objective person right now. He needed Sara's thoughts on the matter. He was too emotionally compromised and too close. Thinking rationally where his son was concerned was something he seriously struggled with. More so even than with Mila. And he wasn't entirely sure why.

"Did he show you anything solid that would make you believe and prove that he is looking for him and able to find him?" Sara looked contemplative.

"No, nothing except the fact that he's always at least two steps ahead of us and very resourceful…" it was in this moment when the last most shocking revelation of his capture was pushed to the forefront of his mind, something he should've shared straight away but he'd forgotten. How could he have forgotten that bombshell revelation?

"Sara, Adrian Chase is Damien Darhk's son." Sara froze at this revelation and he caught himself looking her over, checking her breathing and looking for her pulse, with his eyes until she slowly lifted her left hand and placed it onto her stomach.

"The whole Simon Morris identity is a story he and Ruvé made up, I'm not sure why and what the point of it was, but the connection between them is mother and son." It was important that Sara knew, he forgot to share this with the team, with Roy and Thea. He forgot. It was crucial information, but he'd forgotten.

"So, he wants revenge on top of keeping you from stopping whatever his mother is trying to achieve here?" Yeah, pretty much that from what he'd gathered. The problem with Adrian wanting revenge for his father's murder was, that act wouldn't just be against him, but Sara as well and given Adrian's words, he was aware of that. Which placed Sara in even more danger than she'd been before and he was certain she was aware of that fact as well, given the serious and alarmed look on her face.

"I think so. I mean he threatened you and Mila and Thea and Laurel as well." He felt it was important to share with her whatever he could remember. Getting her view and input on it could be very helpful. She might currently be more rational than he was, on top of her usual very unique way of looking at things and the years of League training that had put focus on analyzing situations and calculate possible outcomes. Ra's had been a very methodical man, and he'd expected his members to be the same.

"He wants to destroy me." That part was crucial information Sara needed to have since losing her and Mila would do just that. It would essentially lead to his complete destruction. And William and Thea as well, of course. They were the four most important people in his life, and he wasn't sure how he'd manage to go on without them. He couldn't. Losing Sara that last time had nearly killed him, he'd been so close, so, so very close to just give up and let eternal rest take him over. It had only been Thea, and the fact that her life had been at risk that had kept him going, that had kept him from giving up in hopes of joining Sara wherever she was. And then Ra's had gone after Thea… he'd never forget the pure panic he'd felt when he saw her lying in their apartment, covered in blood. The level of terrifying fright had been like nothing he'd ever felt before. It had been paralyzing. He'd never been as scared as he'd been in that moment. And then seeing her lie in the hospital bed, machines all around her and the doctor letting him know that there was nothing left they could do for her, that she was essentially dead, that the only reason she wasn't were the machines beeping around her. It had been the worst moment of his life. Thea had been all he'd had left. After losing Tommy, and their mom and Sara… Thea and Laurel. But Thea had been his entire world from the moment she was born. She'd been his everything. His reason for being. He'd felt himself crumble under the crushing weight of his failures; of the losses he'd suffered within the span of just two short years. It had been too much, all of it. That had been why he'd been willing to do whatever Malcolm had wanted him to. Because losing Thea on top of everyone else he'd already lost just hadn't been an option. He'd just known one thing back then and that had been that he couldn't lose Thea. Not his Speedy. Not after having lost almost everyone else he'd loved. So he'd been willing to make whatever deal he had to in order to save her life. And nothing had changed, nothing except the fact that there were now three more people on that list he was willing to risk everything for. Two of which were currently in bed with him. The third one was who knew where. And Speedy was somewhere in their apartment. Which meant he knew for a fact that three out of the four were currently safe. And could be easily, more or less, be kept safe while he was recuperating. Because no matter his eventual choice, he was currently in no condition to fight anyone, to protect anyone.

"Okay. Makes sense given everything he's done so far. But it's good to know for sure. Ruvé has a goal we're not aware of that she's working towards, I guess she put Adrian in charge of keeping you and your team occupied and distracted so you don't have the time to figure out what she's trying to do. But to know that it goes deeper than that, that he wants to break you by taking everything you love from you… it's good we know. Now we can make sure he won't get his hands on any of us. We'll figure out what to do about Wiliam. I'm not sure… I'll think about what the best course of action might be." She was right and it made sense, all Adrian had done was keep them on their toes, have them chasing after him and try to figure out his next move. They'd all but abandoned figuring out what Ruvé was up to. Keeping Adrian from murdering more people had taken priority and he couldn't say he regretted that decision, even if it hadn't been on purpose but he could also see the issues that sprang from that choice. They were no closer to knowing what Ruvé's endgame was than they'd been when Damien had still been in charge of the plan good a year ago.

"Is there anything else Adrian had said while he had you? What else do you remember?" Sara hesitated for a moment before asking the questions and he understood why, she hated to pry. Knew and understood how difficult it was to remember specifics after having been tortured for long periods of time, and just how debilitating it was to talk about such events. But he also understood why she asked, the more they knew, the better prepared they would be. He tried to recall as much as he could, tried to share with her everything that he remembered, every small insignificant seeming detail, because everything could have a deeper meaning, could've been a clue Adrian unintentionally gave them and if there was someone who could see the links, connect the dots to reach the bigger picture, it was Sara.

Oliver wasn't sure how long he'd been talking when he stopped as he was nearly being swallowed by the hands of despair. They sat in silence for a while while he was trying to put into words what he was feeling. The dread, the terror the blind fear. But he struggled to form the thoughts, even less the words needed to let Sara in to this terrifying place his mind had become, but something heavy was sitting on his chest and making it difficult to breathe and with that to get the air in needed to give voice to the onslaught of emotions enfolding him like a cloak. Sara just sat quietly, watching him with a concerned look on her face.

"I can't... Sara... I don't think I can do this anymore." Oliver felt his throat close up and his eyes starting to burn after the confession. There was a finality in the statement when made to Sara, even more so than the previous day when he'd let the team know about his choice. A choice that had in a way been spur of the moment but at the same time a long time coming. It was almost as if he'd made that decision the moment he'd decided to keep and raise Mila. Even if it had been entirely subconscious. And there'd been a goal he'd wanted to reach before hanging up his hood, to make their home a safer place for his daughter. But now, after having been faced with the concept of never even getting the chance to meet his baby girl. Of her growing up without him in her life, of her only ever knowing him through the stories her mother and their families shared with her, he wasn't so sure anymore if he was still willing to put the hood on until he felt the city was safe enough, and when would that even be? What did safe mean? He wasn't sure but he knew for a fact that he wanted to be in his daughter's life, and he didn't want to risk dying, didn't want to risk not being a part of her life and the longer the more it felt like a very real possibility if he kept going out at night. If he kept risking his life.

"When Adrian... all I could think about was you and Mila and how I might never get to see you again, how I might never get to hold our baby. Sara, I just... I need... William is growing up without me in his life, I don't want another one of my children to grow up without me. I need to be dad. I want Mila to have dad in her life. I need to be in her life... I can't Sara." She drew him into her arms as his voice broke and the tears began to fall.

"I just got you back. I finally got my dream, and I almost lost it all again. I don't want to do this anymore. I can't the prize is too high." The words were murmured into the skin of her neck while he was drawing her close, breathing her in. Needing her to ground him. He only lifted his head from its place on her body when she began to speak.

"I know. It's okay. And you don't need to make a choice right now, take your time. Whatever you decide Oliver, it's okay and I got you." The soft and understanding look on Sara's face was like a balm to his tattered soul, and she was right. It wasn't a choice he needed to make right now. And she'd just given him permission to change his mind along the way if he decided he wanted to put the hood back on and go out to help the people of their home. He couldn't see that happening right now, but truth was, even if he'd wanted to, he wouldn't physically be able to and that did give him time to think about everything and weight the ups and downs while healing.

Sara kissed the top of his head and drew him close again, while lying back down, they stayed like that, in each other's arms for long moments and he could feel himself drift off. This had been a tiring, an exhausting morning. But he forced his eyes to stay open as a thought pushed back to the front of his mind.

"I want… do you think… I'd really like to go outside and enjoy the sun for a bit today, do you think… what do you think?" He shifted his head so he could look at her while sharing what was going through his mind with her.

"It depends how much help you are willing to take. But I think if you let Roy and me help, it should be possible to have you lie outside for a bit. I can ask Roy to get one of the sunbeds from the roof. I think some fresh air and sun might actually do you some good." He smiled in relief; grateful she felt the same way he did and that she didn't shoot his idea down at the spot. He'd been worried after last night that she'd tell him he wasn't up for it, and it was a stupid idea. He could feel her hand softly stroke his face and automatically closed his eyes for a bit, fighting to keep them open.

"But later. You need to get some more rest now." Part of him wanted to object, but he knew she was right, their conversation, recounting what had happened, or part of it had taken a lot out of him and he was exhausted.

"It's still early, Ollie. And the weather forecast says it'll be sunny the entire day. Rest now and while you do Roy, and I will make sure the balcony is ready for you once you're awake again. And maybe you'll be up for eating something as well after, or a smoothie or something." She smiled at him, reading his mind and shooting down his objections before they'd been fully formed. No one knew him like his wife did.

"The team needs to know Adrian Chase is Damien's son. And Laurel.. she needs…" He was trying to stay alert to stay awake, but he was still just so tired. But it was important they needed to know. Laurel needed to know that she could be a target.

"It's okay, Ollie, rest, I'll let Roy and the team know, you just focus on healing right now. Sleep, my love, just let yourself sleep. You don't need to worry; I'll take care of it." Sara's hand was still on his cheek, stroking it not making staying awake any easier. Her lips softly brushed his and he let himself succumb to the darkness at her words. She'd make sure the team would know. Good, good. Oliver closed his eyes and let sleep take him over.


Notes:

As always I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Some may think it is out of character for Oliver to only now remember those crucial facts he'd learnt about Adrian, I'd say dude is very badly hurt, serioulsy traumatized and was on complete emotional overload. Also he's only been home for like a day.

I'm trying to stay realistic and not have him be back to full or almost full health in like a week...

Chapter title is from the song "Triggers" by Soldier Hard.

Any feedback would be appreciated, it's the only thing that lets me know whether or not anyone is still reading this story, if people like or don't like a chapter and it would just be really nice to know how many people are actually still invested in this story...