Not me randomly showing up with a full-blown chapter out of nowhere. LOL
To everyone who's been reading this story over the years: thank you! I hope you enjoy the final installment of this series.
Who doesn't like bonus content!?
* Flashback * - Age: 29
Helga's POV:
On our kitchen wall hung a calendar marked with red ink. I was counting backwards, trying to calculate the numbers in my head. I fucking hate math. After several minutes, I stopped counting. "Arnold." I let out a shaky breath "It's already been eight months. I think… something's wrong with me."
The sound of Arnold typing on his laptop ceased. He peered over the top to make eye contact with me. "Helga…"
"I'm being serious. What if I… Can't? What if I have bum ovaries!? What if-"
"Stop." He abandoned his spot at the kitchen table, pulling me into a tight hug. "No more talking like that, okay? We can't assume the worst possible outcomes. Sometimes is just… takes a little longer for it to happen." I felt overly dramatic for getting so worked up over this. I've spent an embarrassing amount of time marking the calendar every month to time things perfectly and taking ovulation tests. Everything felt for naught. I didn't want to disappoint Arnold after making him wait years for me to be ready to do this. My heart ached.
"Eight months, Arnold! I don't know how many more times I can take seeing a negative test. It fucking hurts every time." I buried my face in his shoulder. "Louis and Liz screwed once and ended up with Della. Danny and his wife had a 'whoopsie' kid, too! Gerald and Phoebe didn't have to spend months agonizing like this before they got pregnant with Sam! What the hell is wrong with me?"
He let out a long sigh, "Well… what if the issue is me?"
My head shot up. "What?"
"Maybe there's something wrong with me? Infertility happens with men all the time." He cupped my face in his hands, placing a kiss on my forehead. "I know that we both decided we want to have a baby, but I don't want to keep putting you through something that hurts you this much. Seeing you obsess over that calendar breaks my heart."
"I'm sorry." Despite my best effort to keep it together, a stray tear fell down my cheek. "I want this… and I don't know how else to make it happen."
"Don't apologize. I'm not saying the calendar was a bad thing! Not at all. I'm just afraid you're putting too much pressure on yourself. You need to relax-"
I made an awkward squeak when he picked me up and twirled me in a circle. "Arnold!" I laughed. "Put me down, ya weirdo."
He set me back on my feet, giving me the sincerest look I've seen since we talked about having a baby eight months ago. "I'm willing to keep trying as long as you want. We can get fertility tests, if that'll ease your mind at all. I'll do whatever you want me to do. My job is far less important in this process, you know?" he chuckled. "You're my number one priority. Whatever you say, goes."
My heart melted. I was a fortunate woman; I knew that much. Not every husband was as patient or understanding. "We're doing this, Arnold. I'm not giving up."
"Then we keep trying." He leaned in for a kiss. I wasn't prepared for him to lift me up once again, "Feel like trying right now?" he grinned.
"It's useless to try right now." I pointed towards the calendar. "I'm not ovulating. Or maybe I could take a test real quick-"
"Helgaaaa." He groaned. "I want to have sex with my gorgeous wife! Is that a good enough reason for me to take you upstairs and have my way with you?"
"Mr. Shortman!" I mock gasped.
A wicked smile spread across his lips, "Alright Mrs. Shortman, enough of this idle chitchat." He effortlessly hurled me on to his shoulder and gave my ass a slap. "We have business to attend to in our bedroom!" I loved it when Arnold was playful like this, especially in times when I really needed it. He knew me better than anyone.
"Yes sir!" I happily chirped. "By all means, take me."
* Four Months Later *
"Auntie Helga! Aren't you gonna go on the swings with me!?" Della bounced excitedly in front of me, tugging on the sleeve of my jacket. "You said you would!"
"I know, kiddo." I sighed. "Maybe in a little bit, okay?" My energy was completely zapped lately. Arnold threw the calendar away two months ago, telling me not to constantly worry about the whole pregnancy thing. It was hard not to think about it! I couldn't sleep at night. We've been trying for a year now, and every month that went by, the more worried I became.
"Are you doing okay, Helga?" Liz patted me on the arm. "You didn't have to come to the park today if you weren't feeling up to it."
"I'm just tired. I haven't been sleeping well." I nervously chewed on my bottom lip. Arnold and I haven't told anyone that we were trying to have a baby. We thought it would be a fast process, and I was sort of relieved that we hadn't spoken about it last year. But now? I needed to get it off my chest. People were starting to notice my sense of melancholy. "Arnold and I have been trying to have a baby for over a year now… I think we're going to have to see a specialist."
Liz stared blankly at me for several seconds, processing. "For a year? Oh gosh… I-… I don't know what to say. I'm a little surprised to find out now."
"We haven't told anyone about it. I didn't think it was going to be like this you know?" my eyes began welling up with tears. "I'm afraid we won't be able to have kids."
"Come on, now." Liz scooted over on the park bench to pull me into a hug. Normally I would protest to one of her mushy 'mom hugs', but I found myself returning it with full force. Liz is my friend, but she's also become a mock-mother figure to me. "There could be a thousand reasons why you haven't gotten pregnant yet. Bodies are strange, you know?" she chuckled, pulling back to give me my space. "Going through this must be hell for you two. I'm so sorry."
"Whatever deity that controls the universe must be punishing me. I swore I'd never have a child, and now that I want one, I can't have one." I leaned over, cupping my face in my hands. "Maybe it's a sign that I shouldn't-"
"You can't let yourself fall into that trap! The whole 'this is a sign' thing! If you can't conceive naturally, there's other options."
"But I-"
Della came rushing over from the jungle gym, barreling straight towards me. I braced for impact before she jumped onto my lap. Her curious brown eyes were studying me. "Why are you sad? Was mommy being mean?" She gave her mother the most adorable glare I've ever seen. That kid truly was the spitting image of her father. It was uncanny.
"No, she didn't do anything." I playfully ruffled her curly dark locks. "I'm just a little sad today, that's all. Why don't we go get some ice cream? That always cheers me up!" I glanced over at Liz, giving her an apologetic smile. I really did want ice cream. Eating my feelings felt like the right way to distract myself from these intrusive thoughts.
"ICE CREAM!" She threw herself back to her feet, standing in front of Liz and pulling on her arm with wild abandon. "Let's go!"
"Alright." She stood up, taking her daughter by the hand. "Just so we're clear, I'm calling you tonight when she's running around the house and refuses to sleep. If I have to suffer, you have to suffer." She grinned.
"Gotcha. My phone will be off tonight!" I cackled, grabbing a very excited Della under my arm and taking off towards the exit of the park.
It was sometime after midnight when I was awoken by the smell of Arnold brewing a pot of coffee; it was his new routine during the late nights he spent working or writing his dissertation. Before I could think about anything else, my stomach almost immediately began lurching in anger, making me do a mad dash to our bathroom. All the contents of my last two meals suddenly made a reappearance. "I'm never having chocolate ice cream again." I muttered into the toilet bowl.
"Helga!?" Arnold appeared in the doorway. "What happened? Are you okay?"
"I think Slausen's poisoned me! Fuck." The cup of coffee in Arnold's hand was still steaming, wafting its smell into the bathroom. My head immediately went back into the toilet, retching like a sloppy drunk after a long night of partying.
"Food poisoning!?" He looked around the room, as if he was looking for a solution. "Do we need to go to the hospital?"
"Calm down, you yutz. It's not that serious. If I can't stop puking, then maybe I'll see a doctor." I retched once again, making him panic. "I need something for nausea. What do we have here?" He frantically searched the medicine cabinet. "Not medicine! Tea or something. Crimeny!"
"I think we have some ginger tea from when I had the flu. I'll go check!" He took off like a shot. Several minutes later he appeared with a different mug in his hand, and a string hanging from the outside. "Do you want to drink it in bed? Or the couch? Or-"
"Just give it to me here!" I snapped, immediately feeling guilty. "Sorry." I sighed. "I just feel like shit right now. I don't mean to take it out on you."
"It's alright." He knelt next to me, handing me the mug of tea. "What else can I do for you?"
"You should finish your work, football head. I'm fine." I took a sip of tea to emphasize my point.
"Are you kidding?" He shook his head. "I'm not leaving you all alone when you're miserable."
"I don't want you to fall behind with your work." I subconsciously found myself leaning on his shoulder. "We're supposed to go to Greece next month. Aren't you planning the trip?"
"There's plenty of time for that."
"Honey." My tone was firm. "It's food poisoning, not the plague. I'm gonna go to bed once my stomach settles down. Go do your work. Please?"
He sighed in defeat, "Alright. I'll come check on you in a bit. Let me know if you need anything."
"Yeah yeah. Go on!" I nudged him.
"I love you." He pressed his lips to my temple several times, clearly trying to annoy me with his coddling. When I swatted at him, he chuckled and kissed me one more time. "Feel better soon, baby."
* Two days later *
I wasn't feeling better. The last few days were miserable, and I could hardly keep anything down. Arnold practically dragged my head out of the toilet bowl at 7am to drive to the nearest urgent care clinic after I refused to go to the hospital. The nurse asked a million questions; 'do you drink/smoke? Any known drug allergies? The date of your last period?' The list went on and on. I was delirious at that point, so I didn't have many answers. Luckily, Arnold was there to fill in the gaps for me. They made me take several blood tests and had me pee in a cup, which seemed like the standard procedure. I was hoping they'd prescribe me a strong dose of Benadryl to knock me out for a few days to sleep this thing off. I was freakin tired.
"You're pregnant, Mrs. Shortman."
"WHAT!?" I nearly fell off the exam table, forcing Arnold to steady me.
"I'm sending a referral to the hospital. You can head over there later this afternoon for an examination and ultrasound to check-" The doctor's voice began fading away as he continued to talk. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion.
I'm pregnant?
"Helga." Arnold squeezed my shoulder, reminding me that the doctor was expecting me to respond.
"Are you… sure?" My hand reached out for Arnold's, holding it tightly at my side.
"Basic tests can only tell us so much. I'd like you to follow up to get established with an OB/GYN once you get confirmation. We need to address your severe morning sickness, and to make sure that you and the baby are healthy."
"The baby…" my hand subconsciously hovered over my stomach.
The doctor gave Arnold some paperwork to take to the hospital, but I was still in my own world, trying to process things. Once the doctor was out of the room, Arnold leaned against the wall to brace himself. He seemed just as shellshocked as I was. "Holy shit."
"Yeah." I nodded in agreement. "It wasn't food poisoning."
"A baby… we're having a baby, Helga!" He was finally getting excited, which only made my nervousness grow.
"What if something's wrong?" I whispered. "I'm a little freaked out over here!"
"Hey…" he rubbed my shoulder. "We're going to get you checked out. No matter what happens, I'm going to be by your side."
"You're a good man, football head. You know that?" I cupped his cheek in my hand. "Do you mind if we wait at the hospital? Maybe they can see me sooner. I don't know if I can stand sitting around waiting at home."
"We can do that." He nodded. "But we need to try and get some fluids in you at the very least. The doctor said you're getting dehydrated from all the throwing up."
"Water or tea. I don't think I can make myself drink anything else right now." My stomach was already in shambles before, now it really was in knots. "Now that we know why I'm so freakin nauseous, we can figure out how to control it. I hope." I grimaced at the idea of being sick for months at a time.
"Come on." He held out his hand to me with an ear-to-ear grin. "Let's go meet our baby."
I felt both relieved and horrified by the time we were finally able to see the ultrasound tech. Not only was I forced to strip down to nothing but a thin paper gown and had my legs in stirrups, she pulled out a menacing looking phallic object that was far too long for my liking. Arnold looked equally horrified at the sight of it. "No need to worry. This method is the most accurate way to detect early pregnancies." She attempted to reassure us.
"Is that thing going all the way up!?" I subconsciously tried to bring my knees together, failing due to the stirrups.
"Only a few inches." She smiled. "So… are you two ready?"
Arnold and I exchanged glances before nodding. We'd waited an entire year for this very moment, and the thought of something terrible showing up in the ultrasound was all I could think about. Arnold seemed to sense my nervousness. He took my hand in his and gave it a kiss.
"Let's do this." I whispered.
My initial discomfort caused by the wand from hell was soon forgotten once the grainy black and white images appeared on the screen beside us. I couldn't really see anything at first. She moved the wand slightly- "… And there's your baby!" she smiled, pointing to the small white blob amidst a sea of black. After a few adjustments on her machine, the view changed. She was quiet for several minutes, seemingly analyzing whatever nonsense she was doing on the screen. "Well, you're measuring around seven weeks gestation. The heartbeat is barely starting to show at this stage. See that?" she zoomed the image and pointed to the tiniest blip of fluttering pixels. "That's the heartbeat."
Seven weeks… right around the time Arnold made me get rid of the calendar.
My vision started to become blurry, and it was only then that I realized I was crying. "They're okay?" I croaked. "They're really okay!?"
"The heartbeat looks perfect. Exactly where it should be!"
A warm moisture trickled down my hand. Arnold was blubbering just as hard as I was. I know he was being strong for my sake over the last year, but somewhere deep down, I think he might have been even more worried than I was about our trouble conceiving. "I can't believe it." He was practically sobbing. "We're gonna be parents!"
I laced our fingers together, giving him a squeeze. "We are."
* Two Weeks Later *
"Do you think it would be weird for me to bring my little trashcan inside with me?" I clutched said trashcan to my chest. My vomiting had gotten better since I started taking the anti-nausea medication prescribed by my doctor, but I still had bouts of nausea I couldn't control. After my first unexpected puking on the floor incident, Arnold bought a small trashcan with little bags to put inside. It was his own thoughtful way to make me less paranoid about rushing to the nearest toilet. Not to mention he was a nervous wreck every time I ran up our spiral staircase.
"We're telling them today, right?" We were currently parked in front of Louis and Liz's newly purchased house. Everyone was coming over to have dinner and catch up before the holiday rush started. "Della will be fascinated by your trashcan." He chuckled. "That kid asks a million questions."
"It's still early." I nervously tapped my fingers against the plastic. "Usually, people wait until twelve weeks to tell everyone. I'm only nine weeks."
"We can tell them whenever you feel ready, there's no pressure."
"I want them to know." I reached across the console to hold his hand. "Plus, having everyone collectively lose their minds might be kind of amusing."
"That's my girl." He kissed the back of my hand. "A little mayhem might be fun!"
I opted to leave my trashcan in the car, praying my stomach would cooperate with me for the evening. As soon as we walked through the front door, Della was anchored at our heels and begging us to go play with her. "Play?" Arnold chuckled. "It's almost time for dinner! We can play after, alright?" He removed her from our legs and tossed her in the air, making her squeal with laughter. Maybe it was my fluctuating hormones, or I'd become a huge softie, but seeing Arnold with Della made me picture what he was going to be like with our kid. I've always known he'd be an amazing dad, but now I was going to see it! Every time I think about it, I get all weepy.
"Whoa! Are you alright, Helga? You don't look so good." Louis wrangled his squirming child from Arnold's arms, giving me a concerned look in the process.
Normally I would be offended by someone suggesting I look awful, but I did look horrible. I was paler than usual and looked like I needed a twelve-hour nap. "Actually, I've never been better."
He inquisitively raised an eyebrow, turning his attention to Arnold. "Did Helga partake in some…" his eyes flicked to his daughter, who was still in his arms and intently listening to their conversation, "… Special juice this evening?"
"No way! Helga's drunk!?" Danny waltzed into the room with Charlie tucked under his left arm, kicking and grunting angrily in protest at his father's unique carrying methods.
"DUDE!" Louis glared.
"Auntie Helga is drunk?" Della repeated.
Louis winced at the newest word in his daughter's vocabulary, "Liz is going to maim you the first time she hears Della say that, Daniel."
Danny finally got a good look at me and cringed. "Good god, Helga! Are you drunk?" He set his toddler on the ground, who immediately took off to escape Danny's nonsense.
"No." I rolled my eyes. "I'm not sick, and I'm not inebriated! Crimeny."
"She's telling the truth." Arnold snaked his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to his side. "Where's Gerald and Phoebe?"
"They should be here any time." Louis glanced at his watch.
"I'm gonna go see if Liz needs any help in the kitchen!" I excused myself, trying not to look too eager to get away. It was way too tempting to blurt out our big news when everyone keeps pointing out how horrible I look, but I wanted Phoebe to be there for it. I was the first person aside from their family she and Gerald told when they found out she was pregnant with Sam. "Liz?" I popped my head into the kitchen. She was leaning over against the counter with her head in her hands. "Jesus! Are you alright!?" I ran over, placing my hand on her shoulder.
"I'm fine." She straightened herself back up, offering a weak smile. "I think Della passed her stomach bug on to me. The joys of first grade, right?" She laughed. "I'll make sure and keep away from Sam and Charlie tonight. They're still so little."
"Want me to finish everything up for you? Go relax! I'll be fi-" oh no. A wave of nausea hit me. Thankfully, I didn't throw up. But I didn't mask it well enough for it to go unnoticed by Liz. From the way she was studying me, it seemed like she finally realized I looked like death warmed over.
"Are you sick, too?" She tilted her head to the side. I roughly shook my head back and forth, still too afraid to open my mouth in case vomit decided to appear. The jig is up. She was the only person who knew about me and Arnold trying to have a kid. I made a bump gesture over my stomach, giving her a pointed look. "Oh my GOD-" my hand immediately covered her mouth to shush her.
I took a few deep breaths through my nose until the nausea subsided enough for me to speak again. "We're telling everyone today."
"Helga!" She giggled excitedly. "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you two!"
I couldn't help but grin like an idiot. "Thank you."
"Auntie!" A small pair of hands gripped my pant leg, startling me.
"Charlie!" I smiled down at the adorable little blonde boy, leaning over to pick him up. "Aren't you gonna play with Della?" For being only eighteen months old, he was a bright child. Very expressive as well. At the mere mention of Della's name, his facial expression turned sour, as if he was saying, 'hell no, woman!'. "Ah, are you hiding from your daddy again?" I laughed when he nodded in confirmation. The relationship between Danny and Charlie was comical. Charlie loved his dad, but he also seemed to enjoy tormenting the guy by acting indifferent. Basically, he was a little carbon copy of him; mischievous and charming.
"It's almost time to eat." Liz stood several feet away from us, being mindful of her potential contagiousness. "I think Gerald and Phoebe are here. Do you want to help Auntie Helga get everyone into the dining room, Charlie?" He nodded emphatically.
I felt weird about leaving her alone after seeing her hunched over earlier. "You sure you're okay?"
"Promise!" She smiled reassuringly.
"Alright, if you say so… Let's go, Charlie!" I set him back on the ground and he took off running. Charlie didn't have a large vocabulary just yet, but he knew how to say 'EAT. NOW!', which was exactly what he was babbling about when he went into the living room. Gerald and Phoebe were still setting their coats on the rack when we came into the room. Sam was already in Arnold's arms, showering the chubby cheeked infant with attention.
"Helga!" Phoebe came rushing over to me and gave me a tight hug.
"Hey Phoebs! Or should I call you Doctor Johanssen?" I grinned.
"Oh stop!" She giggled. "How are you doing? You look a little pale." I should have known that Phoebe would go into a 'concerned doctor' fit as soon as she saw me.
"No worries. I'm good!" I linked her arm with mine, leading her to the dining room. "Chop chop, boys! Time for dinner!" I called over my shoulder.
I was still feeling queasy all through dinner. I pushed my food around my plate, attempting to make it look like I had eaten some of it. No matter how much I loved Liz's cooking, I couldn't make myself eat when the morning sickness hit. Arnold grabbed my knee under the table, giving it a squeeze. He knew I wasn't eating, which meant he knew I wasn't feeling well.
"Are you two looking forward to going to Greece next week? You haven't been there yet right?" Louis casually asked between bites of mashed potato.
Arnold tensed, sneaking a glance at me. "Uh… about that." He cleared his throat. "I had to cancel the trip. All of them… Indefinitely."
"What? Why? What happened?" Gerald stopped feeding Sam in his highchair, looking over at his best friend in confusion. On the other side of the table, Liz was attempting to mask her huge smile.
Here we go, I guess.
"Because we're having a baby." I said, finally taking a bite of mashed potatoes and trying to look nonchalant. Please don't puke right now. PLEASE.
Phoebe nearly choked on the food in her mouth, and Gerald dropped the tiny spoon he had been holding midair. Danny was blinking slowly, dumbstruck into silence. Louis seemed to be the only one to fully grasp what I just said. "No way! Holy sh-" he stopped himself from slipping in a curse word in front of multiple children, "-Sugar!" He amended.
"Oh my gosh!" Phoebe already had tears forming in her eyes. "Congratulations!"
"My man!" Gerald slapped Arnold on the shoulder. "I can't believe it. Congrats! Both of you." He met my gaze and smiled.
"I never thought I'd see the day!" Louis had gotten up from his seat and slung his arms around both of our shoulders for a hug. "I'm so happy for you!"
"Seriously!" Danny reached across the table to offer Arnold a fist bump. "This is amazing. You two are gonna be great parents." Seconds later, Charlie threw a handful of mashed potatoes in Danny's lap. He gritted his teeth and forced a smile, "Parenthood is SO beautiful, I swear."
"So, how far along are you?" Liz asked. She was already out of her seat and getting a towel for Danny to clean himself off. I called it her 'autopilot mom mode'.
"Nine weeks. It's still early. They said I'm due in July." I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "But we really wanted you guys to know. Actually-" I looked over at Arnold, taking his hand in mine. "It took nearly an entire year for this to happen. We didn't know if it would happen."
"Yeah." Arnold confirmed with a nod. "It took a little while to get to this point, but… I think it happened this way for a reason. Our baby is gonna have a lot of people in their life who love them. And plenty of kids to play with!"
"Is it a girl!?" Della stood up in her seat and leaned over on the table. "No more boys!"
"Sit your buns down!" Louis playfully popped her on the rear with a laugh. "You know you aren't supposed to stand on your chair."
"We don't know if it's a boy or girl yet." I absentmindedly traced my fork in circles against the plate. Truthfully, I didn't have a preference on gender. My only wish was to have a healthy child. It'd be a bonus if they inherited Arnold's gentle temperament… and preferably not his football head, for my nether region's sake. Who am I kidding? I'd accept the pain of pushing out an oblong head.
"No. More. Boys!" Della reiterated, making everyone laugh.
* One Month Later * - (13 weeks pregnant)
Despite the morning sickness getting better, I was feeling extra queasy today. We were finally going to have our answer about the gender, if the baby cooperated with the ultrasound tech. They insist you have a full bladder for this, and I was miserable lying there on that exam table. "This kid is gonna be born grounded if they don't flash their junk for us today. I swear!"
"Just a little longer, baby." Arnold kissed my temple. He was always trying to reassure and calm me whenever I started to get upset or testy. He'd say, 'it's bad for you and the baby to get so stressed!'. I suppose it was my fault for letting him read those ridiculous pregnancy books.
All my grievances ended once the cold gel hit my stomach, followed by the ultrasound transducer. Only moments later, we finally got another glimpse of our baby. "Wow." I mused. Unlike last time, there was a clear silhouette of the head and face. "I can't believe there's a human being in there."
"Helga!" Arnold snickered. "I thought you'd be more jazzed to see a 'normal' shaped head?"
"Thank freakin god." I nudged him with a smirk.
"Would you like to know the gender?" The tech asked.
"Yes!" We said in unison.
"Alright." She nodded, moving the device lower, trying to get a good view. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until the words "You're having a boy!" came from her mouth.
"A boy?" My voice faltered. Tears were already trickling down the sides of my face. I was getting used to being a big crybaby these days. Hormones were a bitch.
"We have a son!" Arnold wiped the tears from my face and gave me a kiss. "Della's gonna be so mad!" He chuckled.
"A boy." I repeated, letting out an embarrassing sob, which sent Arnold into a tizzy trying to pacify me. He probably assumed I was crying because I was having a hormonal breakdown, but I was genuinely happy. The vision I had many years ago was finally coming true; we have an actual family together. Arnold's fretting stopped when I gently touched his face, "I hate to ruin the moment, but I'm gonna pee my fucking pants if I sit here any longer." I laughed despite the tears still streaming down my face.
The ultrasound tech looked at us with an eyebrow raised. I'm sure she's seen some shit in her day, but she's never dealt with me before. "Go ahead." She quickly wiped the gel off my stomach and gestured to the door.
Arnold was waiting for me outside the bathroom with several printed images of our baby, admiring them with a huge grin on his face. My heart felt an unfamiliar warmth every time I saw our kid, and I'm sure Arnold was feeling the same thing… pure and unadulterated parental love. I leaned my head on Arnold's shoulder, admiring the photos with him. "He's perfect." I murmured.
"I didn't have parents growing up, not that my grandparents weren't parental figures to me… but I never felt connections the same way others do." He traced his finger over the photo. "I think I finally understand what I've been missing out on."
"I know what you mean." I grabbed his other hand, placing it on the minuscule bump forming in my belly. "I love him so much that it scares me. I didn't think it was possible."
"Me too."
I leaned over to kiss his cheek, "Thank you, Arnold."
"Huh?" He looked absolutely baffled. "For what?"
"For being so patient with me… and letting me change my mind."
Arnold's eyes immediately became teary. "I love you, Helga. I would do anything for you. I didn't sit around hoping you would change your mind about having a baby. You're my entire world… our son is the extra cherry on top of our lives together."
"My love." I swooned, wrapping my arms around his waist and nuzzling up against him. A different ultrasound tech walked past us, giving us a weird look. I suppose it did look strange to see a husband and wife having an emotional conversation and cuddling outside of a bathroom in a doctor's office. "Honey? Can we stop somewhere before we go home?"
"Of course. Where do you want to go?"
Twenty minutes later, we found ourselves in a little boutique I've seen a billion times over the years. "You know, this place used to give me the creeps every time I saw the little mannequins in the window." I held up a hanger with a tiny pair of overalls dangling from it. "But now? All I can picture is what our kid will look like in these clothes. I didn't want to buy his first outfit before we knew his gender." I set the overalls back on the rack and went to the display of onesies. "Let's pick one for him. It'll be his very first present from us!"
"That's a great idea." He smiled. "Are we going for the typical blue? Or did you have something else in mind?"
"Hmm…" I pondered over several of them before picking up a green onesie with monkeys on it. "Remember when we were bombarded by a troop of capuchin monkeys in Peru?"
He chuckled at the memory, "As if I could ever forget chasing down a tiny monkey that stole my phone from my pocket!"
"I'd love to tell him about it someday." I closed my eyes, holding the tiny piece of clothing against my chest and trying to imagine how it would feel to hold him in my arms.
"Our adventure is just beginning, Helga." He gently rubbed my shoulder. "We're not done seeing the world, right? Our son is in for one hell of a ride."
I opened my eyes, giving him an unsure look. "We're still going to travel together? With a baby?"
"He's not going to be a newborn forever! I'm talking about the future, when he's old enough to safely fly on a plane." He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead. "I'm not going anywhere without my family. We won't be separated, ever." Even though he didn't say it, I knew he was referring to his own experience with his parents. They left, and never came back. He didn't want to potentially do the same thing to us.
"Where you go, we go." I nodded in agreement. "Hopefully Marsden won't be too upset about your travel hiatus."
"Jason can handle it by himself for a while." His expression turned bitter. "It's about time he gets his hands dirty. He usually gets the glamorous work trips for the museum."
"I'm sorry we didn't get to go to Greece. I know you were looking forward to seeing The Acropolis."
"Don't apologize! Do you really think I'm upset about it?" He took the onesie from me and held it in front of us. "We're having a freakin baby! Nothing is more important than that."
"You know what? I think this is the one for him." I tugged on the itty-bitty foot of the monkey onesie, "What do you think?"
The look on Arnold's face hid nothing; he was picturing our son wearing it, and I knew I made the right choice. "It's perfect."
By the time we got home from our outing, I was completely drained of all energy. It was another side effect from growing a freakin human inside of me. The last time I tried to sit down and work on my latest novel, I fell asleep at the kitchen table. Arnold nearly had an aneurism when he walked in on me hunched over. He banished me from writing in the kitchen; I was limited to the couch or bed only, which sort of defeated the purpose of trying to keep me awake. "Can you hand me my laptop?" I mumbled, face down in our couch cushion.
"You're gonna smother yourself! Good grief. I know you want to work right now, but maybe you should have a nap first? We were out for a while. I know you're tired."
"I would retort with something like 'okay DAD', but that's a little too on the nose, eh, football head?" I sat up to watch him. He was in the kitchen fiddling with the stuff in the pantry, presumably getting something out for dinner. He's so freakin gorgeous, even when he's being a domestic husband. A sudden, intense urge came over me, "Hey… wanna have sex?"
The box of pasta he was holding fell to the floor. "What? Now?" He looked completely thrown off by my random request, but I knew my chances were good, since he didn't say no outright.
"I'm not nauseous, or dizzy, or moody. It's the perfect time!" I grinned. "Besides, you might not want to screw me in a few months when I'm the size of a manatee. I'll take what I can get when I'm still presentable."
"Helga." He chided.
"Arnold." I mimicked him with a sneer. "Get in my pants already!"
"Hmm…" he quizzically tapped his chin. "How about no? You weirdo."
"You're a dead man, Arnoldo!" I hoisted myself to my feet, fully prepared to corner him to get exactly what I wanted. My phone vibrated in my pocket, playing a quick snippet of 'Rockin' Robin', which was Liz's text tone. "The hell?" I muttered, checking my phone.
Liz: 'So, it turns out Della's stomach bug wasn't contagious. Apparently, your pregnancy was? Heh…'
Beneath her message was an image from an ultrasound with her name and today's date in the corner, eerily like the images we brought home. The only difference was her baby was slightly less developed than ours.
I lowered the phone to my side, staring blankly at Arnold for several seconds. "HOLY FUCKIN SHIT!"
* Three Months Later * - (25 weeks pregnant)
"ARNOLD! Our son looks like Gollum!" I wailed, refusing to look at the screen in front of us.
Voluntary 4D ultrasounds should be illegal!
"Oh, this is hilarious!" Danny was seated on a couch to my right, leaning forward against his knees and fully invested in the nightmare on the screen. Gerald punched him in the shoulder, telling him to be quiet under his breath.
"He's ugly!" Della grimaced. Her mother promptly covered her child's mouth. "He is!" she managed to mumble between her fingers. Louis was biting his bottom lip, trying to contain his laughter the whole time.
"Would everyone stop it!?" Arnold scoffed. "He's floating around in amniotic fluid; you'd look like that too! Geez." He turned his attention over to me, attempting to placate me in my time of existential crisis. "He doesn't look like Gollum, baby. He's perfectly normal! In fact-" he pointed to the screen, "I think he looks just like you. Look at him! He has your nose, your ears-"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I cried even louder, making the ultrasound tech look on in horror. I think he was currently debating his career choice. "I'M THAT UGLY!?"
"Well, this didn't go how I pictured it would." Arnold covered his face with his hands, groaning to himself. "Maybe Liz should take her turn next, yeah?"
"I dunno man, our daughter is five weeks behind your kid! The freak show is gonna be worse- OW!" Liz harshly smacked Louis over the head, giving him the deadliest glare I've ever seen.
She covered Della's ears, "Take that back you son of a bitch."
"Fuck." He rubbed his head. "I'm sorry! Good lord. You didn't have to rattle my brain!"
"You'd need to have one in order for me to rattle it." She seethed.
Now, I wasn't the gambling type, but I was willing to bet that Louis was sleeping on the couch tonight.
"HUH?" Della was grabbing at Liz's hands, attempting to remove them from her ears.
"Goodness." Phoebe sighed at all the commotion.
"It's official… This is a nightmare." Arnold concluded.
"Oh!" I gasped, getting everyone's attention. The baby kicked hard enough to make a brief lump on my belly. "He's never done it that hard before." I whispered.
"He probably heard you call him Gollum." Arnold grumbled, obviously feeling defeated.
"Is that his name?" Della scrunched her face in disapproval.
"He doesn't have a name yet." I shooed the tech away from me so I could sit up but struggled due to the extra weight in my midsection, leaving me wobbling in a half sitting position. Despite being upset with me, Arnold still helped me sit back up, making sure I was steady before removing his hands. "This was supposed to be fun, and I ruined it… I'm sorry." I looked over at Arnold. "I'm really sorry."
"Helga, it's fine. I'm the one that made this appointment, so I should be the one apologizing. I didn't think it would upset you this much." All the adults in the room exchanged uncomfortable glances.
"Arnold-"
"Let's just call it a day, okay? We can all go home and forget this train wreck ever happened." Nobody said a word when Arnold left the room, quietly closing the door behind himself. You knew the mood was off when Della remained silent as well.
I really upset him this time.
As I got down from the table, Phoebe grabbed me by the arm. "I know you're feeling very emotional these days but remember that Arnold is trying his best. He loves you and that baby more than anything."
"I know, Phoebs."
Being six months pregnant was like being on an emotional rollercoaster I never signed up for. Most of the time I knew when I was being irrational or unfair to Arnold, but he usually took everything in stride and tried to appease me when he could. The only reason we ended up at this fancy 4D ultrasound business was because I was crying to him one night about wanting to see our son's face, and I didn't want to wait three more months. He was attempting to give me what I wanted and involve our friends in the process as well. I've seen pictures from other people's 4D ultrasounds, and it was so cute! I didn't expect to get a look at my son's face for the first time and see a distorted orange Jello blob that resembled 'The Scream' by Edvard Munch. Realistically, I knew that wasn't what he actually looked like. But these damned hormones ruin everything in my brain.
Arnold remained silent the entire drive home, as did I. What was I supposed to say in this situation? The silence continued all the way to bed time, and I knew I had really fucked up. While Arnold was in the bathroom brushing his teeth and getting ready to go to sleep, I decided enough was enough. I removed the pillows and bedding, tossing it on the floor. His facial expression didn't change in the slightest when he came out and saw what I had done to our bed. "We're not going to sleep! Not like this!" I gestured between us. "I apologized to you. I meant it! So why are you punishing me?"
He looked away with a sigh, "I'm not punishing you."
At least he's finally speaking to me again.
"Ignoring me is punishment, Arnold! I'm truly sorry!" my bottom lip quivered, and I knew the tears were inevitable. Dammit. "I overreacted earlier, okay!? I know I did. You're the last person who deserves my wrath. I'm a freakin basket case these days!"
"I'm trying to navigate this with you, Helga! I keep screwing everything up at every turn." He angrily rubbed his fists over his eyes, trying to remove his frustrated tears.
"I'm sorry, Arnold." I practically threw myself into his arms, forcing him to hold me. "I haven't been fair to you. Pregnant or not, I don't have the right to be a jerk. You didn't screw anything up, I promise!" I cupped his face in my hands. "You're the most amazing husband and father. Never doubt yourself, especially when you're dealing with a nutjob like me!"
"You're my nutjob, and the mother of my child." He leaned in for a kiss. "Actually… I've been thinking about something, and I wanted to get your input."
"What is it?"
"Our son needs a name. We don't have to pick one before he's born, unless we're sure, but we haven't even started narrowing down any choices. Maybe we should start? I don't want our son to come out of the womb thinking his name is freakin Gollum."
"It's not that I haven't thought about his name, but nothing felt right yet. You know?" I grabbed my phone from the nightstand. "Why don't we start a note on our phones and share it between us so we can add names whenever we think of them. Something's gotta stick eventually, right?"
"That's a good idea!" He took the phone from my hands and typed something out before handing it back to me.
The very first name on the list was written: Gollum- ABSOLUTELY NOT.
"Hardy har, football head."
I don't think Arnold and I knew just how difficult it was to name another human. We came up with hundreds of names over the next few days, but we kept disagreeing about which ones to keep on our list. I fought tooth and nail to keep William on the list, but Arnold refused to name our son after William Shakespeare. He liked names that didn't seem to fit at all, and they all started with an E for some reason. Ethan, Edward, and list went on. Liz and Louis had already picked their daughter's name almost immediately after discovering they were having another girl. They seemed to have no problem agreeing on 'Victoria Anne Ross'. Since Della was named after Liz's great grandmother, their second daughter was going to be named after Louis'. I offered to let Arnold name our son after his father, or his grandpa, but he seemed oddly uncomfortable with the idea. We eventually settled on using Phillip as his middle name, just like Arnold's.
"Believe me Helga, once we hear his name, we'll know it." He reassured me for the thousandth time.
"I'm tired of looking in these name books. They hurt my head." I grumbled, tossing one of them to the side. "Ah, here we go!" I chuckled, holding up one of my obscure poetry books that got tucked beneath one of the name books. "Check out the name on this guy! George Essex Evans. You haven't come up with a dumb suggestion like Essex yet, football head!"
"Do you really think I'd suggest a name for our son with the word sex in it?" He rolled his eyes at me. "That's just asking for him to get his butt kicked by bullies."
"True." I laughed, tracing over the embossed lettering on the cover. "Evan." We both froze, turning to look at each other on the couch.
"Evan." He repeated, looking down at my rounded stomach. He placed his hand at the highest point and gave it a light pat. "What do you think, kiddo? Evan Phillip Shortman. How does that sound?"
We waited in silence for several seconds, but nothing happened. "He's been quiet today, ever since lunch." I gave my belly a rough poke, trying to spur a reaction. "We're trying to name you over here, bucko! Wake up!"
Arnold leaned extra close to my stomach and gave it another pat, "Evan?" The unmistakable kick that followed made both of us gasp. It was impossible for me to tell if Arnold had tears in his eyes, because I couldn't see through my own.
"I think we did it." I sniffled. "He was always our son, but knowing his name makes him so… real."
"I know what you mean." He grinned. "Before you know it, he'll be here."
"I can't wait… but don't make an appearance too early, Evan!" I gave my stomach another pat. "Finish cooking first."
"Agreed."
* Three Months Later * - (39 weeks pregnant)
"Arnold! Wake up!" I stood on his side of the bed and roughly shook him. "It's time!"
"Helga." He groaned. "You've done this five times in the last two weeks. Remember what the doctor said? That you'll notice-"
"I know, football head! Unless I just pissed myself, my water broke all over the fucking floor! GET UP!" I roared.
Arnold comically sat straight up in bed with wide eyes. "Oh crap!"
"YEAH." I threw my hands up in the air in frustration. "I woke up feeling contractions, but I thought they were Braxton Hicks! As soon as I got to the bathroom, SPLOOSH! And so, I- holy FUCK!" I hunched over against the bed as another contraction hit.
"Alright! Okay. You're gonna be okay. Okay!?" Arnold was darting around the bedroom, grabbing our hospital bag and other various things. "Are you going to be able to get down the staircase?"
"Just give me a second." I said through clenched teeth, waiting for the pain to subside. The contractions were still far enough apart for us to make it downstairs, and to our car in the parking garage before another one hit. "This fucking sucks! GOD DAMMIT!"
"Helga…" Arnold's tone was wary but kept his eyes on the road. "I thought we agreed to keep the cursing at a minimum for the birth? I know that you're hurting-"
"YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT!" I howled in pain. "I'm gonna punch you in the fucking dick when this is all over."
"You don't mean that." He tried to remain calm, but I saw his grip tighten on the steering wheel. "Just a little bit longer, okay? You'll get your epidural, if you still want one."
"Of course I want one Arnold. Everything HURTS! UGHHH!"
"I'm sorry, baby." He reached over to hold my hand. Mistake number one. "OH! Ouch! Helga!" I took a little pleasure knowing he was in pain as well as I crushed his hand in my grip. "You have to let me go! We're here. Oh god!" He managed to yank his hand from me and practically threw himself out of the car at the hospital entrance. Moments later he returned with a wheelchair for me.
Everything after that felt like a blur. I was admitted to the hospital and hooked up to several machines to monitor me and the baby, but more importantly; I got my freakin epidural. Arnold was taking everything like a champ, despite giving him a hard time before. He made all the important phone calls to our friends, all while hovering over me for the last several hours.
"I'm sorry I crushed your hand." It was still red, and I felt guilty about being petty.
"It's okay, Helga. You were in pain! I might not understand the severity of it, but I know it's not easy for you."
"Don't excuse my behavior." I whispered. "I shouldn't be so vicious. I know better than that. I don't want Evan to see me like that, ever." Tears welled up in my eyes, "What if… I'm not a good mom?"
"What!? Where's this coming from all the sudden, baby? You're already a good mom-"
"What if I have some sort of terrible postpartum depression and I end up rejecting him or something!?" Admittedly, I've been reading those stupid pregnancy books Arnold left sitting around the house. All they did was make me feel paranoid instead of prepared. I've been having nightmares about it for weeks.
"Hey." He risked grabbing my hand again, "Postpartum depression doesn't make someone a bad mother. Don't ever think that, okay? No matter what happens, you love our son. You want what's best for him. That's more than what most people get from their parents. You're a good mom."
"I'm just scared." I brought his hand to my face and nuzzled against it. "I don't want to screw this up from the get-go."
"We're in this together, for better or worse, right? We're both learning how to do this. I'm not nearly as confident as you think! I don't know what being a dad really means, but… I'm not afraid to dive into this headfirst, because you're right there with me."
It was comforting to know Arnold was scared too, as weird as that might sound. He always seemed to have the answers to everything, but when it comes to being parents… we're both clueless. It was terrifying to oversee the life of another human, shaping them, and sending them out into the world someday. "I hope Evan is just like you."
"I think he'll be a mixture of both of us." He smiled.
"So… a kindhearted nutjob?" I attempted to laugh but winced instead. "Geez… Nobody warned me about the freakin pressure down there! It's getting worse. Dammit." The only advice I got about delivery from Liz was 'You'll KNOW when he's coming. All your body will want to do is push.' "Wait… Oh shit-" I grabbed the nurse call button and frantically pushed it. "I think it's time"
"What!?" Arnold stared on in confusion. "You think?"
A nurse popped into the room moments later to check my dilation after I insisted that I needed to push. "Well, what do you know? Ten centimeters exactly!" She looked at both of us with a smile. The room filled with people in the blink of an eye. Most of them looked bored by the whole process, but then again, they probably did this dozens of times a day. They had no idea how much this baby meant to us, or what it took to get here.
Once our doctor showed up in his delivery getup with his gloved hands raised in front of him, I knew this was it… Our son was about to join us. "It's showtime!" he chuckled.
I don't remember any of the pain, or the hour I spent pushing a human shaped watermelon out of myself. All I could comprehend was the sound of a baby crying with his first breaths. The doctor held him up for us to see… and there he was. Evan. The face I could only dream about for the last nine months. He was immediately set on my chest as they began cleaning him off, paying no mind to me as I sobbed harder than Evan was. The familiar sensation of Arnold's lips pressing against my temple somewhat brought me back to my senses. "You did it!" he whispered. Tears were streaming down his cheeks as well, and there was an undeniable sense of joy exuding from him.
"We did it." My hand cradled Evan's head against my chest, basking in the moment. He was so tiny! It didn't feel real.
Arnold got to cut the umbilical cord before they finally took Evan away from me, immediately sending me into a panic. "It's okay, baby." He pet the top of my head, trying to calm me. "They need to weigh him, and make sure everything is okay. He's not going anywhere."
"But you need to hold him, too!" My hand shakily reached out to hold his.
"I can wait a few more minutes. It's alright." His eyes drifted over to the nurses currently attending to Evan. I knew he was itching to go over there, but he didn't want to leave my side.
"Go take pictures of our son, football head! Move it!" He opened his mouth to respond, "And yes, I'm sure. Go!"
"I'll be right back, okay?" He gave my hand a kiss and took off to the other side of the room, phone in hand and ready to take pictures.
Evan continued to angrily wail beneath the heating lamp while the nurses finished up with him. If it wasn't for the epidural keeping me bedbound, I would have gotten up and tossed them to the side so I could pacify him… Even if I didn't really know how to do it. I was his mother! Mother's intuition? Or whatever they called it. That title had to be good for something. I felt a little better when I saw Arnold reaching out to instinctively soothe him, whispering 'It's alright, buddy. You'll be nice and warm soon. Mommy gives good snuggles.' They quickly swaddled him up and handed him off to Arnold without a second thought. I've seen Arnold with our friends' children multiple times, but nothing could prepare me for seeing him holding our son for the first time. I don't think I've seen him smile like that since our wedding day.
"Give me your phone!" I sniffled through my tears. "I need a picture of this!"
Instead, he called over one of the nurses and handed her his phone. "I want one of all of us… Our first family photo!" He set Evan in my arms and sat down beside me on the bed to wrap his arm around my shoulders. "Say cheese, Evan!" he grinned.
Phoebe was the first of our friends to meet Evan, given she worked at the hospital. As soon as her shift ended, she came to see us. "He looks just like you, Helga! It's crazy." I wanted to comment on his lack of a Pataki unibrow but refrained. I was grateful for that.
"He's got my hair color though, for sure!" Arnold beamed. "And I'm betting on green eyes one day. Helga thinks they'll stay blue."
"Keep dreaming, bucko!"
"You two never change, do you?" Phoebe laughed, turning her attention to the baby in her arms. "Don't mind those two, Evan. It's only flirting, I promise!"
"Oh shush." I waved her off. "Don't listen to her, Evan. You won't see us arguing! I promise."
"Liar!" Arnold snickered. "You can't resist."
I tightly held my lips together, refusing to prove him right. The sound of Evan fussing broke my silence, "He ate fifteen minutes ago! There's no way he's hungry already. Uh…" I felt an unjustified sense of panic wash over me; I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
"Everything is alright, Helga." Phoebe put Evan in his hospital bassinet to remove his swaddle before bringing him over to me. "Skin-to-skin contact is highly beneficial for a newborn baby. Don't underestimate it! It can help regulate body temperature, heart rate, and…" she tugged my hospital gown down a few inches and set him against my chest. "It's extremely calming for him to hear your heartbeat and feel you breathing. Same with you, Arnold. Fathers can do skin-to-skin as well."
I let out a sigh of relief when Evan almost immediately began snuggling against me and settling down. His tiny little hands were bunched up near his head, but he looked relaxed. I could feel his heartbeat, along with every breath. "Thanks, Phoebs."
"No problem. Don't be so hard on yourselves. You need to give yourself some time to learn. Both of you!" she pointed an accusatory finger at us. "Evan is a few hours old. It's going to be an uphill battle to figure everything out. It doesn't make you a bad parent when you don't know what to do, or when he won't stop crying. Every baby is different. You can read a thousand baby books and still have things to learn."
"You're a wise woman, Phoebe." Arnold reached out to place his hand on Evan's back. "Thank you for the support. I mean it."
"I didn't go to medical school for nothing!" she chuckled. "I might be on the path to becoming an orthopedic surgeon, but I know a thing or two about babies as well. Sam was a terror as a newborn! I haven't slept that horribly since my first year of residency." Arnold and I both winced, "Not to worry, you two! Evan is already ten times calmer than Sam was. You're a chill guy, aren't you?" She leaned down to Evan's level, even though he was fast asleep. "Gosh… I'm still blown away by how much he looks like you, Helga."
"Poor little guy." I chuckled. "Don't inherit my attitude, please! Make this easy for us."
"Yes! Please!" Arnold teased.
* Fifteen Years Later * (Epilogue Aftermath!)
It was nearing eleven o'clock on a Saturday night, and the cool spring air was nipping at my nose. I didn't normally hang out in our backyard at night, but I was on a mission. As soon as my watch hit 11:05, there was a creaking sound at the back gate. "Don't even think about it, Victoria."
"Shit!" Tori jumped at the sound of my voice, nearly tripping over her own two feet. "Helga!? Er-… Mrs. Shortman!" Despite being irritated with her, I thought it was adorable how the kids reverted to calling us 'Mr. or Mrs.' When they were in trouble.
"I thought it was sweet when you snuck over to see Evan the first time, but it lost its novelty after the fifth time." I pointed to the lawn chair next to mine. "Sit. We need to have a talk."
"B-but…"
"Sit your butt down before I call your father!" She immediately sat beside me without protest, knowing I wasn't kidding. "Let's get one thing straight, alright? I love you like one of my own kids. You've been Evan's best friend since birth. I'll never forget the day you were born. You were slightly premature, and you were even smaller than Evan was… but you were born strong and determined. I think you've grown into a brilliant young lady, but you're also a pain in the rear… kind of like I was at your age. Your parents always joke about how I've influenced you." I chuckled. "That might be partially true, but you're different than I was at your age. You say what you mean and tell people how you feel. You're not afraid to be yourself, whether others approve of it or not. Evan thinks the world of you."
"Please don't punish him even more for this." She whispered. "I know I say this a lot, but I'm sorry! I mean it-"
"Calm down, Tori." I reached over, patting her shoulder. "Nobody knows about this conversation but you and Evan. I've already talked to him earlier today." The fear in her big green eyes only grew. "I know I reacted… strongly… when I saw the two of you together before, but I was genuinely surprised and slightly horrified that the two kids I watched grow up from birth were kissing. It was a lot for me to take in at once."
"It really was my fault that time! I asked him to kiss me… I-if he wanted to, I mean." She stammered.
"Evan told me everything."
"That rat." She muttered, not realizing she was doing the same thing as him. They had no idea how similar they really were.
"Each one of you are amazing kids. Sneaky little brats, but amazing, nonetheless. We're proud of all of you! Della, Charlie, Sam, Maya, and our dynamic duo." I gave the end of her long dark locks a gentle tug. "I hope you know just how much you're loved Tori. Nobody thinks you're a bad kid. Punishments are meant to teach a lesson, not to torture you. Which is exactly why we're having this conversation. This whole sneaking around thing to see Evan? Big no-no. I excused you the first time, but now it needs to stop. The two of you need to show us you can accept the consequences of your actions… Especially if you want to date."
Her eyes widened, "D-d-d-d-d-date!? Me and Evan? Evan and I!? I-… I-…"
I wasn't expecting her to start short-circuiting at the mere mention of the two of them as a couple. "Interesting." I hummed in amusement. "Evan seemed pretty gung-ho on the idea when I mentioned it to him earlier, but if that isn't what you want as well-"
"I DO!" she frantically waved her arms around. "I-… I do!"
I've got her hooked.
"You'll receive my blessing under one condition, Victoria Anne Ross." I gave her a hard stare. "You need to start respecting the boundaries we put in place, whether they're from Arnold and myself, or your parents. We're the adults here, not you. Do you understand me?"
She lowered her head in submission, "Yes ma'am."
"Honor your word, Tori. Remember that." I stood up. "You can come out now, Evan!" I called out towards the back door, knowing damn well that my defiant son was waiting in the wings the entire time. His blonde hair and adorable green eyes peeked through first, checking to make sure I wasn't messing with him. "Come say good night to Tori, Evan. Her sister is taking her home. I already text her."
She instantly made googly eyes at the sight of him. "Evan!"
"Crimeny." I jokingly rolled my eyes at her swooning. "You have five minutes, you two. The punishment still has two weeks left, and you're lucky I'm not adding more to it! So, say farewell for now. You'll see each other at school on Monday."
When I went inside to give them a few minutes of privacy, Arnold was waiting in the other room, watching the two teens from our back window. "You handled that really well, Helga." He smiled.
"Not too shabby for the pushover parent, eh?" I slipped beneath his arm and snuggled into him.
"Oh, you're still a pushover." He laughed, giving me a nudge. "But it doesn't make you any less of a good mom. You did what was right for our son, and for Tori. I'm proud of you."
His words warmed my heart. "Thank you."
"God help us when Maya starts dating." he muttered under his breath.
Both of us shared a glance and shuddered at the thought. "You get to direct that traffic accident, Arnoldo. I'll stick with my little angel baby."
"Don't forget that 'Tori the terror' is attached to that angel baby! She's not gonna make it easy for you."
"I'm not too concerned with her." I leaned my head against his shoulder, watching the two lovebirds outside. Tori was completely enamored with Evan, and vice versa. Young love can be powerful. But I practically wrote the whole damn book on young love. "You better teach our son to keep it in his pants, though. That's your department!"
"Alright, I'll have a talk with him. That should be an interesting conversation." A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, "… You do realize he's fully aware of what sex is already, right?"
"SHUT UP!" I violently shook my head. "I don't wanna hear it! He's my baby! I refuse to accept that he knows things!" The smile never left Arnold's face as he gestured for me to look out the window… Evan and Tori were kissing. "Son of a-"
"Young love, am I right?"
My not-so-subtle rage was mildly quelled when he wrapped his arms around my waist and planted a kiss on me. "Seducing me won't work every time, football head."
"It's working right now, isn't it?" He kissed me again, dipping me in the process.
If our son is anywhere near as charismatic as his father, then maybe I should be more worried about his budding relationship. But then again… "Hey Arnold." I whispered. "Do you know what I really want right now?"
"Tell me."
"Turn the sprinkler system on. Those two could use a cold shower." A wicked grin spread across my face.
"… That's my girl."
The end, for real this time!
I wrote this bonus chapter for the sole purpose of giving everyone one last glimpse into this universe, so I could send it off properly and FINALLY be done with my notebook of ideas from over ten years ago!
The epilogue was set in stone a long time ago, but THIS chapter included a lot of what I needed to cut for the original epilogue to work the way I wanted it to; showing the next generation and having you guess who their parents were.
I hope everyone enjoyed it!
