Waking up in his new room, Krieg began his day as he always did... by scratching his butt.
After such a daunting task, he rises from his bed and makes his way to the door. Lifting his axe from an umbrella holder, rubbing a spot of dried blood off with his thumb, and leaves his room to start his day. Yawning, he saunters through the halls towards the stairs, passing Angel's room. He could've sworn that he heard a piggy in there sometimes. He guessed that Angel liked breakfast in bed.
Looking over the balcony, he could see the small goat things helping Charlie to put up a banner, congratulating Krieg and Pentious on their first week. Vaggie stood by the foot of the ladder, ensuring Charlie did not fall off in her apparent excitement.
Speaking of, it had been uneventful... mostly, anyway.
There WAS a rather large explosion that came from the Slaughterhouse. But Krieg laughed it off as the Psychos having fun.
"Good morning, Krieg!" Charlie called up to him, pulling him from his musings.
"RAKE FIRE ACROSS THE SKY!"
Charlie had done her best in the last week to try and figure out what Krieg meant when he spoke. So far? She still didn't have a clue.
As he made his way down the stairs, he approached the pair.
"We were just talking about yours and Sir Pentious' stay at the hotel for an ENIRE week!" Charlie squeed, in barley contained happiness.
"WINGS UPON THE ENDLESS MARCH." Krieg shrugged, nodding agreeably.
"Even though you bring trouble by the fistful." Vaggie added, crossing her arms as she glared at him.
"I mean, sure, there were SOME hiccups along the way." Charlie nervously continued, stepping off of the ladder. She shuddered as she remembered the first few days Krieg stayed here. Gangs and upstarts all showed up and tried to kill him, believing his stay at the hotel was a sign of weakness.
She NEVER, wanted to see someone get their eyes gouged out with an eggplant ever again. "BUT, it's not like he goes out of he way to cause trouble."
"SLOSH SKIN BY THE TAUT OR UNGULATE." He shrugged.
"We REALLY, need to work on your speech. Oh! That can be one of your lessons for today!" Charlie bounced on her tiptoes at the prospect.
"We still have Pentious to deal with, hun. He was literally just trying to take over the city with his steampunk bullshit a few days ago." Vaggie reasoned, not exactly liking the idea of tackling two denizens of Hell at the same time.
To that, Charlie remained her ever hopeful self. "Well, I haven't seen him try to pull any of that here."
As if on queue, Pentious began rolling a large, gattling gun of some kind. His egg bois sat atop it.
"What the hell is that?" Vaggie asked, clearly annoyed at the new trinket.
Bowing, Pentious tipped his hat to her. "Oh! Hello, Purple Female." He hissed.
Krieg looked around rapidly... who was he talking about?
"It is my new invention." He proudly displays it. "The sssskinflayer, eleven-thousand." Folding his arms proudly, his egg bois hop down and begin running around without any co-ordination, eventually beginning to chase a one-eyed cat.
Slowly walking up to the side, Krieg began to examine it.
"Yesss, marvel at its magnifi-"
Krieg kicked the side of the weapon, breaking through its mechanisms and knocking it over, leaving it in a crumpled heap, thick steam billowing from it.
"-cence." He slowly drawled in disbelief and defeat as his shoulders slumped.
"SMOTHERED INTENT WITH A BOOT HEEL EUTHANASIA, GWAHAHAHAHA!"
"But... I was looking forward to shooting the other residentsss." Pentious' shoulders slumped as he mourned the corpse of his weapon. It slowly caught fire as his egg bois began roasting marshmallows over it.
"What? Why?" Charlie asked quickly, concern and confusion plastered onto her expression.
"Everyone is being too nice." He explained. "Aside from... present company." He glanced at Krieg.
"SPLATTERED FROG SPAWN." Krieg chuckled to himself, staring at a wall after having lost interest for a moment.
"It is obviously a lie. I can sense they are planning to kill me, but when? How? I must be PREPARED." As his rant continued, he sounded more and more paranoid. "Ooh, the new parts for my machine are here." He abruptly changed the subject as Carmilla's daughters wheeled in several crates with the Carmine brand upon them.
Krieg had often bought weapons from Carmilla, though, they left much to be desired from the weapons of Pandora. There were no gimmicks or special features, just run of the mill guns. Where was a Flakker when he needed one?
"Carmine? As in Carmilla Carmine? You are buying parts from an Overlord?" Vaggie asked, clearly more than fed up with so many unpleasant surprises in such a short time.
"Uh, of course." Pentious retorted, as if it was obvious. "She's the top weapons dealer in Hell."
Splintering wood caught the groups attention as Krieg ripped off the top of one of the crates and began digging around in it for treasures.
"Hey! That's my-" Pentious was cut short as the blades of Krieg's axe roared. The sinner in question froze in place as the teeth spun mere inches from his throat.
"JIGSAW WITH A BONESAW!"
"Hey, now! No need for that!" Charlie quickly jumped in, gingerly moving the axe away from Pentious as Vaggie moved the crates away from the Madman.
"THIS." Vaggie began once the parts were moved aside. "Stops right now." She points to Pentious. "YOU, absolutely CAN NOT build weapons in this hotel." She then points to Krieg. "And YOU, can't just keep picking fights with everything you see."
"SAYS YOU!"
"Yeah, says me. ESPECIALLY if you want to stay here." Vaggie stood defiantly under the glare of the Psycho, matching it with her own.
"I WILL NOT BE INSINUATED!" Krieg stomped away, jumping atop the smouldering remains of the machine and repeatedly stomping on it in a fit of rage. Much to Pentious' sorrow. The weapon was soon crushed flat, it's gears and inner workings littered the floor.
After his fit, Krieg stomped over to the bar.
"So, muscles. They finally leashed ya~?" Angel asked, leaning towards the Psycho as Husk poured the pair a drink.
"I'LL NOT BE STRANGLED INTO SUBMISSION WITHOUT A METRIC TRUCK LOAD OF ALL THINGS BLUNT AND BLADED!"
"Kinky." Angel laughed. "So, what does a maniac do for fun, eh? Anything... naughty~? Any toys or games~?"
Krieg had a serious think for a moment, barely noticing Angel getting uncomfortably close.
"BLOOD BATH BEYOND!" Krieg's sudden outburst startled the spider back slightly. "SCRAPE THE RUST OFF THE HULL AND LICK THE NAILS CLEAN!" Krieg laughed at the memories, banging his fist onto the counter in his hysteria. "HOW MANY TO FLAY IN YOUR ROSTER?"
"Uuh... what?"
"RRRRGHR." Krieg scratched at the bar as he drank quickly. "THE CORPSE DANCE! WHO'S YOUR PARTNER!?"
"Dude, you are impossible." He grumbled, switching on his phone.
Husk approached, topping up Krieg's glass.
"I heard your factories are still runnin' without you. Who the fuck is in charge in that place without you there?"
"COMEDIC RELIEF!"
"I don't know why I fuckin' asked." Shaking his head, Husk proceeds to start chugging on a bottle of god-knows-what.
"Ha! Not as funny when he does it to you, eh?" Angel looked up from his phone, grinning at the bartender who scowled.
"Shut the fuck up."
"Only if you make me~." Angel leaned on the counter, puffing up his chest fluff.
"Not clean! Not clean!" A fast and strong force tore Krieg's axe from his grip as Nifty darted by, vigorously cleaning the blades of the guts and grime Krieg had let accumulate. "I thought you loved this thing but it's so filthy and grimey and gross and- why are there so many scratches, do you ever switch the saw out? You know you're supposed to do that right? And then there's the-"
Snatching his axe back and holding it up, away from Nifty's reach, she bounced up and down rapidly while trying to reach the favoured killing tool of the Psycho.
"SHINE IN THE SUFFERAGE!"
"Not clean! Not cle-e-ean!" Nifty whined.
"Dude, just let her clean the thing. I don't know if you've noticed, but it reaks." Angel spoke, pinching where his nose should've been.
"I BREATHE DEEP IN THE STENCH OF MEMORIES." Krieg chuckles darkly, as he shows off the axe. All of the things this axe has sunk it's teeth into. Good times.
"Yep. Smells like it." Angel suppresses a gag. "Dude, get that fuckin' thing away from me."
"Yeah, I can smell that shit from here." Husk growled, keeping a strong bottle of spirits near his face to block the stench.
"I can clean it! Ple-e-e-se let me clean it!" Nifty yelled desperately as she began climbing up the Madman's leg with savage determination.
"ROTLESS PILES." He relented, handing the axe to the hyperactive hypochondriac as she immediately set to work.
Later, Krieg sat in the common area of the hotel with the other residents, excluding Alastor. In front of him stood Charlie and Vaggie, a hastily made stage behind them. Yet, it still had Charlie's child-like artistic flair on it.
"Hi, guys." Charlie greeted as happily as she always did. "Thanks for coming. It's been brought to our attention that there may be a li-i-i-itle... tension, in the hotel."
"Tension, that can be counterproductive to what we're trying to do here." Vaggie added, snatching another blaster from Pentious who had aimed at Nifty.
"We think, that this group could really benefit from... Trust exercises!" She jumped happily, almost floating for a moment before descending. Vaggie had tried to copy her, but slightly missed the mark.
"Vaggie." Charlie whined. "We rehearsed this." With a small sigh, Charlie turned back to the group with a renewed smile. "We're doing trust exercises."
Krieg raised his hand.
"I'LL STAB YOUR BACK AND YOU'LL STAB MINE?"
"No. Stabbing." Vaggie crossed her arms, narrowing her eye at the Psycho.
Krieg huffed in dissapointment.
"So, what's with the whole... this?" Husk grumbled, referencing the stage. "I'm not about to put on a show for these fuckin' chumps."
"Oh, I will!" Angel confidently spoke up, crossing his legs over Husk's lap. "But it's cash up front. And I know that one, can't afford me." He grinned, referencing Pentious.
"Grosss. I'd never think of it, Sssspider." Pentious defied the notion, much to Angel's amusement.
Krieg's mind wandered for a bit. Day-dreaming of the things he could be killing right now. It wasn't until Vaggie spoke up again that he refocused on the current situation.
"Alright! So, we are starting with trust fall! Each of you will share something vulnerable about yourself to the group and fall backwards, while the rest of the group catches you! Got it!? Who wants to go first!?"
Charlie and Krieg both shot their hands straight up.
"Oh, nevermind Krieg, you can go first." Charlie offered with a smile.
"LEAD THE CHARGE! MORTARS COME AFTER!" Krieg pointed to the stage with his axe, insisting that Charlie be the one to go first.
"Oooo, thank you!" Charlie merrily stepped onto the stage. "I... I love you guys. Like, really, REALLY, love you." She admitted, tears in her eyes as she closed them, turned around and fell backwards.
Krieg simply held his arm outstretched, allowing her to fall into a seated position in the crook of his arm. She was incredibly light. "That... felt... good!" She sighed as if a great weight was lifted from her shoulders. "Your turn, Krieg." She smiled as he set her down.
"This time, EVERYONE, try to catch him." Vaggie added. She was greatful that Krieg was at least TRYING, but she still had doubts about him.
Without further delay, Krieg hopped onto the stage. It was only then that he remembered that he had nothing vulnerable to admit to. He was very open about his feelings on things, very rarely did he bottle up his emotions. But, there was ONE thing that made him falter... Maya.
"HER SHINE BURNS BEAUTY INTO MY RETNA! A BRAND IN MY MIND THAT NEVER SCABS OR FADES! A PREFECT SEAR UPON THE MIRAGE OF HISTORY!"
With that, he throws himself backwards. Pentious was the unlucky fool who tried to catch the slab of muscle and bloodlust. Upon contact, the weight proved too much for the serpant as they both fell backwards, Krieg landed hard on Pentious' torso, accidentally crushing the air out of him.
"Ssssomebody! Get him off of me!" Pentious wheezed as Krieg managed to push himself back up with the aid of Charlie.
"AGAIN! AGAIN!" Krieg laughed.
"Pleassse... no.." Pentious gasped from his prone position.
"Its Angel's turn now. If you want, you can have another go after everyone's had a turn. Okay?"
"SLICED CLEANLY! SUCH PERFECT DISCS!"
"I'll take that as a 'yes'." She smiled as Angel stepped up.
"Somethin' about myself, uh? Well, how 'bout this? I LOVE, to suck-"
"I swear to FUCK, if you say 'dicks'!" Husk interrupted, knowing already where this was going.
"WRETCHED WORDS!"
"Great! You've got me agreeing with THIS fucking Psychopath!"
"I was gonna say, Popsicles! Ya, sickos. Getcha mind outta the guttah." Angel smirked knowingly as he threw himself back into the begrudging arms of Husk. "But, Y'know, dicks too." His grin faded as Husk quickly dropped him. Rubbing his sore posterior, Angel grinned up at Pentious. "Alright, new guy, you're up."
Krieg knew this next one was going to be painful to sit through. As Pentious got onto the stage, a spotlight shone on him. From where, Krieg had no idea.
"I... don't want to live without my minions. Nobody catch me." Throwing himself back, he was less than happy to see that everyone had caught him. "Dammit."
Setting him down, Nifty was up next, showing even more eagerness than Krieg or Charlie had.
"Sometimes, I kill mother bugs in front of the children as a warning to others." She said, grinning in an almost carnal delight at the very image of what she just said.
Krieg took a moment to ponder the moral intricacies of Nifty's statement. A contemplation of how people should react to such menial threats to the average person's everyday life. Especially given the crucial part these creatures play into the ecosystems that they inhabit. From scavengers, to pest control, to decomposers. Was it right to so viciously hunt them when they are arguablely more important to the balance of the world than even we are. And, just what could this- she just jumped and landed face-first onto the floor. No one was willing to catch her.
"Yay! Pain!" She cheers, repeating the process over and over again as Vaggie and Charlie left to discuss something. Krieg was mesmerised by the... eagerness? Stubbornness? Masochism? Of this small demon that repeatedly threw herself to the floor. She would've made an excellent Psycho. He probably would've killed her though.
"WHAT'S WITH THE CHORUS?"
"Don't try to understand it. Because I do, and I wish I didn't." Husk grumbled as Nifty once again hit the floor with glee. "Wait a fuckin' second... did I just-?" Krieg began tuning him out as his mind wandered.
Krieg looked to the front doors of the hotel in ponderation. Wasn't there something he was supposed to do today? Something important, he knew that for sure. Something to do with a gathering?...
He was missing the Overlords meeting!
Oh well, Steve could handle it.
Meanwhile
Sitting at a long table were many of the Overlords running Hell. The owners of a collective of millions of souls. And sat next to Rosie, in the spot Krieg should've been, was Steve. He rocked back and forth in his chair, completely oblivious to the stares that other Overlords were giving him. Carmilla spoke up first.
"I assume you are here on Krieg's behalf?" She raised an eyebrow. She knew next to nothing about Krieg and his associates outside of what everyone else already knew. But even for Krieg, sending a newbie was odd. Steve stopped rocking, his masked face turning slowly to face Carmilla. His expression obscured as the stared deeply into her crimson eyes. And then he spoke.
"Heyoooooo!" He waved widely, before returning to a resting position. The Overlords turned to Rosie.
"Don't look at me." She shrugged.
Carmilla sighed deeply. Another day, another Psychopath.
Back with Krieg.
"SIN STAINED BINDINGS!" Krieg had no idea what he was looking at. Sinners bound in chains and leather. Some strapped to walls or to the floor or to each other... and no one was dying! NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE!
"Damn straight, muscles!" Angel laughed, admiring the work of the employees of the establishment. Even Husk was seeming to enjoy it, even if it was a back massage.
"STARVE MY EYES! STARVE THEM UNTIL THEY BEG FOR A SLICE ACROSS THE CORNEA!"
"Don't be such a prude. Give it a shot, you never know, you might even enjoy it~." Angel smiled, pushing Krieg forward toward several of the employees who looked upon his hulking frame like a pieced of fresh meat.
"Hey there, big bo-~" On instinct, Krieg threw his elbow back and into the nose of the sinner that just snuck up on him. The sinner dropped to the ground like a bag of bricks, muttering incoherently before his consciousness faded.
"DON'T BE WHERE I CAN'T SEE YOU!" Krieg panicked, his axe revving as he took a steady stance, ready for any one of these leather-bound bastards to make a move. The workers put their hands up, taking swift steps back to get as much distance from him as they could. "THIS PLACE IS THE WORST OF NIGHTMARES! ALWAYS ON THE EDGE OF GREATNESS BUT NO ONE IS WILLING TO JUMP!"
"Don't talk about 'edges' in a place like this." Husk informed him, rolling his shoulder after his massage was cut short. "Some of these guys might get the wrong idea.
"DISASTER!"
"Pretty much."
"Thisss place is truly... perverssse." Pentious faintly held up a whip of some kind, pinched between to fingers as he winced at it.
"What were you expecting? Hells a place for all kinds of freaks." Husk responded, crossing his arms as Charlie and Vaggie spoke privately.
"JAILBREAK THE BOUND."
"Nah, they like doing this kinda stuff." Husk sniffed, instantly regretting it as the stench of sinner horn intruded his nostrils.
"You know what he sssaid?" Pentious asked, setting down the whip on a table, quickly brushing his hand off on his suit.
"Sometimes... I dont fuckin' know how, though." Husk shrugged. It happened gradually. Maybe it was the booze. Maybe it was the amount of time Krieg spent at the bar while waiting for something bloody to happen. But at some point, Husk noticed that the Madman didn't seem as mad than before... either that, or Husk was finally losing it.
"Hey! Vaggie's got another idea for 'Trust Building'." Angel spoke, clearly not thrilled on leaving so soon.
"PARTY TIME?"
"Hey, THIS PLACE, is where some of the wildest parties happen."
"TAKEN TO THE SHADOWS!" Krieg pointed at Angel in an accusatory fashion.
"Someone seriously needs to get you a translator or sum shit." Angel huffed, turning to Vaggie as the group followed after him.
"This is how you learned to trust people?!" Charlie yelled from a rooftop, motioning down to the battle that raged below.
"YES!! YESYESYESYESYES!" Krieg roared happily, he had no idea what Vaggie was thinking, but he liked this new her.
"There is nothing stronger than the trust between comrades in arms!" Vaggie began, turning to the group. "Buckle up, buttercups! Because today, you boys become men!"
"LET ME BLOSSOM!" Krieg cackled gleefully, although surprised when Vaggie lifted him above her head.
"YOU, are going to keep these boys ALIVE!" With that, Vaggie threw Krieg down to the street below.
Landing, Krieg stood quickly, rising to face his challengers.
"RRRAAAAAAAGGHRHGH!" He bellowed, sprinting mindlessly into the fray.
"Holy fuck! It's-" The skinny, lizard-shaped demon choked on his words as Krieg back-handed him across the face before digging his fingers into the sinners back and ripping his spine out, the head still attached.
"THIS! IS! EVERYTHING!" He laughed heartily as he turned to a group of more, imp-ish demons. "DON'T WORRY! YOU'RE JUST DUE FOR A DEVIL DARLING DISEMBOWELMENT!"
"... fuck this." One of them spoke, turning and running for his life.
"Get back here you chicken shit-" the sinner's words die in his throat as Krieg wraps his fingers around it.
"WRING THE PULTRY!" Squeezing the throat, Krieg twisted sharply, snapping the demons neck all the way around.
"You...are such... a prick." The sinner gargled before dropping to the floor.
"Have summa this you fuck!" A demon called out. He looked like a stereotypical western cowboy. He had the body of a weasel. The sinner pulled out a pair of revolvers from his duster coat and began firing as fast as he could.
Krieg simply raised his axe lazily in serval different places around himself, the flat of the blade stopping the bullets until the guns were empty. Krieg was severely dissapointed with the outcome of this situation.
The sinner slowly put the weapons on the ground before raising his hands in surrender. "Uuhh... truce?"
Krieg thought about it for a moment... nah.
Throwing his axe, the blade quickly cut through the middle of the sinners head, splitting it in two.
"... SIMPLE NATURE." Krieg shrugged.
"Aaaaagh!" Turning, Krieg spotted Pentious in the midst of a brawl.
Well, no so much a brawl, but a beating... he was getting his face bashed in.
Over the street from him was Angel, narrowly dodging a sinners blades as he scrambled backwards, clearly not prepared for this.
Nifty was being a little freak, as usual. In a good way. Crawling around sinners like the cockroaches she so viciously hunts.
"There he is, boys!"
At the end of the road, Krieg saw the demon who'd ran away a few minutes prior. This time, backed with a small army of nameless goons and cannon fodder.
Overall? It was a good day to be Krieg.
A few minutes later, Krieg kicked open the door to the roof Vaggie had thrown him off of. Blood caked his body, half of a severed head was being used as a hat. He carried both Angel and Pentious over his shoulders. Nifty held onto his back like a backpack.
Panting from the brawl, Angel held up a shaky, triumphant fist. "... made it." He spoke, his tone almost a frightened one that the crazy lady might throw them off again.
Pentious stayed silent, with pained tears in his eyes, still punch-drunk from his encounter. Even his hat seemed like it wanted to cry.
"RUSHING DOWN THE RIVER RED!" Krieg laughed.
"At least YOU enjoyed yourself." Angel huffed with a tired smile. "I'm gonna need to wash this fuckin' jacket." He muttered, the blood from Krieg's shoulder wiping off onto it.
"THE SADNESS GRATITUDE."
"Eh, whatever." He shrugged, not really bothered, he had a few just like it.
"Let's go home, guys." Charlie spoke, looking a lot more downtrodden than Krieg had just seen her.
Krieg shrugged, jostling the the sinners on his shoulders.
"Hey, watch it." Angel said, trying to find a more comfortable position.
Later at the hotel, Krieg had hardly seen Charlie around. From what he gathered, it was a lovers quarrel, or at least a disagreement between her and Vaggie. He knew it was pointless talking to her about it, he'd let her and Vaggie sort themselves out. They seemed good together, no sense of a Psycho playing cupid. Although, the idea of piercing hearts and presenting them to those you cherish was something he admired.
Krieg sat in the lounge with the others, laughing about their experiences. Mostly how Pentious got his shit rocked with a severed arm, curtousy of Krieg.
Turning to Krieg, Angel spoke. "You, have GOT to teach me that flying death bomb thing!" a hearty laugh escapes him as he remembered the Psycho's performance.
Krieg remembered it like it was an hour ago. He'd lept from a lamppost and body slammed into a crowd of the sinners, several massive explosions raging from the impact alone.
"I DRINK COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF NITROGLYCERIN!"
"Well... explains your explosive personality, eh?"
Kriegs laughs excessively, not understanding the joke whatsoever.
The people are weird, the situations bizarre and he hasn't had a single fucking clue as to what's happening since he got here... it's just like Pandora.
Minus the face skin pizza parties.
End of Chapter!
There you have it, sinners, degenerates and borderline maniacs! Another chapter, as promised! I had this nearly completed for like a week but I kept getting distracted near the ending because I write these like... 3 feet away from my Xbox at all times and the call to video games is not one that is easily ignored.
So, feel free to comment, criticise, it's always welcome and I take it to heart to make these stories better for my readers (That's you all, by the way.)
But! I have an announcement! I am going to be working on a new story! It's a Krieg story, BUT... I'm not gonna tell you, what the crossover is. You'll only find out when it's done.
And for my own amusement, if you can guess what it is, I will let you decide from one of the 3 endings I have planned for it.
The only hints I will give you are these:
This was not something previously suggested.
The story will be five chapters long. (This is more relevant than you may think)
The crossover world is from a video game.
Now that is all said, i hope you have a fantastic day/night, I'm gonna go eat cherry pie.
Thank you all for reading and I hope to see you in the next one.
