Now at DEI...

"BEHOLD! The Pool-inator, Norm!" Doof said just as Agent P and Candace crushed into the building. "Perry the Platypus!" Heinz yelled. "Don't forget Agent C!" Candace said landing in a horse stance ready to fight crime with her pet. "You are too late!" Doof said as he fired a contraption to trap the agents. "Allow me to put this in a song.

Well, ya got evil, Perry the Platypus and Candace Right here, I say evil in downtown Danville Why sure, I'm a doctor, got my doctorate off Craigslist, so I'm mighty proud to say it I consider that the hours I spend with lab tools in my hand are golden Help me cultivate a sharp brain, and a slight slouch, but a keen eye Did ya ever go and try to make clones of yourself by combining a tanning bed with a photocopier? But just as I say it takes judgment, brains, and maturity to be an evil scientist I say that any doof can try to rule the world without a tragic past, and I say that's vain The first big step on the road to domination of mankind, yes I say first Emotional neglect from your parents, then giant walking robots! And the next thing you know, you're battling aggressive animal agents in hats And presenting them with your evil plans and backstories, telling them about your savage youth Not savage parental abuse, no, but actually being raised by wild ocelots And this is after your disowning father made you be a lawn gnome? Make your blood boil, well I should say!

Now, let me tell you my scheme You got one, two, three, four, five, six lasers of destruction Lasers that can carve giant pits of dirt in each and every person's backyard With a capital B, and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool… -inator! Now all summer long, the tri-state youth have been frittering away I say the tri-state youth has been frittering! Frittering away and looking for a way they can cool off with leisure I'll shoot lasers at their yard, no mind if it kills their dandelions; they'll see a huge ditch and think "Now we're talking!" They'll start pumping water to make a swimming pool, but they'll need chlorine, and they'll need it from ME! And that's evil Yeah, this part's really really evil I bought all the chlorine in the city so if they wanna swim cleanly they gotta pay me, make me stinkin' rich, 'cause I'm evil! Yes! I'll be the shark of the city! Evil with a capital E and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool… -inator! Now I know you may not be seeing the big picture here m gonna be perfectly clear

Would you like to know what I'm gonna spend my money on when I make my monopolistic fortune? I won't buy a mansion. I won't buy sports cars. I won't buy new –-inators or self-destruct buttons I won't brag about how rich I am or the flawlessness of my ingenious plan, but what's better I'll go to city hall, sign up to run for mayor My hard-earned cash will get me campaigning, it's Heinz time!

I'll shamelessly run against my brother, a favorite of my mother, And beat him to the curb, then cause in an instant

Mass-teria!

Perry and Candace are alarmed as a group of chorus girls come.

Friends, wads of cash are evil's plaything – Evil!

Oh, we got evil!

In the Tri-State Area!(in the Tri-State Area)

With a capital E and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool-inator(that stands for Pool-inator)

That stands for Poolinator!

We surely got evil! (We surely got evil!) Right here in the city! (right here!) Just gotta figure out a way to keep Norm busy when I rule I'm helping my dad being- Evil, evil, evil, evil… Now, Perry the Platypus and Candace In case you still doubt me Let me give you an idea of my corruption The minute I was born in Gimmelshtump Neither one of my parents showed up My biological father never respected me I was merely a lawn gnome that he had to feed I wasn't allowed to move; I had to make friends with a balloon My past was such a wreck, certain words haunt me to this day Words like… like "Only Son"!

And "baking soda volcano!

EVIL! EVIL! EVIL!

Oh, surely I'm evil! Oh surely he's evil I'm a ne'er-do-well ruffian! A bad guy! Get ready for Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz to rule! All citizens will bow to evil, evil, evil… Oh, we got evil We got terrible, terrible evil! My complex scheme is what they call proof of fool Proof of fool! Oh yes, we got evil, evil, evil! Oh yes, we got evil here, we got big, big evil… Evil with a capital "E"! With a capital "E"! Gotta rhyme it with "P"! That rhymes with "P"! And that stands for Pool! That stands for pool! "Inator!" Doof said as he finished his exponential pool song