Hey! We're back!
Thanks to everyone who has read so far, I'm delighted that so many have for such a small fandom :)
Well some notes for this chapter:
-Petra is my least favourite character, so I'm trying my hardest to write her fairly, so I hope that dislike doesn't come across too strongly
-Magnus is dead because in my longer, more prepared fic he plays a pretty big part, so I'm trying to give Ellie her time in the spotlight
-TW for panic attacks
Tbh this isn't my strongest, but I hope all of you enjoy it nonetheless!
Three ceremonies in one day. A coronation and two funerals. Not quite the film title, but close enough.
It was with a sense of emptiness that Lukas stood through them, staring ahead at what was going on without much feeling. It was so…strange. He'd lost someone, someone he'd come to care about very deeply, forever. Jesse was just…gone. Dead. Killed.
Forever.
It was more than strange to hear the crowds chanting and cheering Aiden's name when all he could think was it was supposed to be Jesse. He wasn't mad at all that his friend had been the one to take it all- no that wasn't it at all. It just didn't feel real that Jesse had actually died in there. They'd led them through so much, and for what? It didn't feel right.
He was stood on the stage staring out at the crowd with the Ocelots, Axel, Olivia, Petra and the remains of the Order, including Ivor, but somehow he didn't believe he belonged there. Sure, he'd gone with them on their journey and helped to reunite the Order, but he'd also run or locked up at the first sign of danger. When they'd first been in Gabriel's fortress, in the End, when that damn pickaxe had fallen. He just…wasn't quite sure he deserved it.
A nudge to his arm broke him from his thoughts, and he looked to his side to see Petra giving him a concerned look. She still looked tired from recovering from the withersickness, though the rest of the group did too. Sometimes they would crack a smile, relieved that the nightmare creature destroying their world was finally destroyed, that they made it through. Then it always seemed to come back to the fact that their lifelong friend was gone, forever, and their mood would dampen. It would take more than years for that fact not to hurt, to cause tears to blur their visions, to drag their whole day down. Lukas wasn't sure if it ever wouldn't.
He gave Petra a small, sad smile and she returned it understandingly. She linked his arm under hers, pressing him a little closer. He was grateful for the contact, but still a little part of him felt distant. He almost didn't deserve it. Not with the way he'd reacted.
Aiden was giving some kind of speech at the moment, one that made out that he'd been in the fight for a little longer than he had been. Lukas didn't really have the energy to care, and maybe he would have done something similar in the situation. It would be more than a let-down to the people regarding you as their saviour if you just said you were also pulled from the ruins and finished a half-done job.
Maybe he was being too critical- he felt bitter and almost angry over Jesse's death, and he really wanted to be lying down instead of being paraded around like some kind of hero. His funeral was this afternoon, and shortly after that would be Magnus'. He didn't necessarily have to show for that one, but everyone else was and he supposed it would be respectful. Besides, the rest of the Order were coming to Jesse's, and he had travelled with him for a short while. It was the decent thing to do.
"...and with that, I struck down on the Command Block, destroying it and killing the Witherstorm!" Aiden finished his speech with dramatic hand gestures, causing cheers and intrigued "oohs" and "ahhs" to erupt from the crowd. Everyone loved a good story, he supposed. Still, the man had barely mentioned any of them. Not even Maya and Gill all that much.
He took a large, sweeping and overly-dramatic bow and stepped back, revelling in the praises and chants of the audience. The rest of them on stage politely clapped, and Gabriel stepped forwards.
"The world will forever remember your bravery, Aiden," he began, his voice loud and clear, "and so they will the rest of the heroes here who worked hard to reunite the Order of the Stone and defeat the Witherstorm, as well as the fallen amongst them and us."
He dipped his head and the crowd shortly followed, murmuring names and condolences. Lukas's mind was still burdened with the loss of his close friend, but he thought briefly of the other's that people may have lost. Sure, all those taken by the Witherstorm were returned, but there would also be many who were crushed by its tentacles, lost among rising rubble and trampled among fleeing crowds. Such destruction created. He wasn't sure how Ivor was allowed to stand on the stage. Someone had thrown a slimeball at him, but he'd ducked in time and it had hit Ellegaard in the shoulder instead. The glare she'd given the crowd was enough to prevent any sort of scuffle breaking out. In retrospect, it would be funny. However, he wasn't above his grief just yet.
"And so, in their honour, this town will be formed around the site that the Witherstorm fell, and lit with a beacon by the star that it dropped when it was heroically slain," Gabriel's voice carried far and wide, eliciting cheers from the crowd, "and these heroic acts shall be forever commemorated with this naming of this town…Beacontown!"
A cheer ran through the crowd, and Lukas couldn't help but applaud. It was a good name, and Gabriel certainly knew how to give a speech.
"And so, to keep all residents safe I now appoint…" Gabriel's voice faltered slightly, just enough that only the people on stage could hear him, "...these people you see before you as your new heroes in residence!"
There was the vaguest tremor of unease through the group, and Lukas took a deep breath as the audience applauded them. Him.
Aiden's eyes were on him. He turned, and his friend fixed him with a strange, guarded stare before basking back in the crowd's applause. Lukas narrowed his eyes.
What was that about?
No matter.
Gabriel turned around, nodded to someone off stage, then placed the nether star in the middle of the beacon. Immediately it lit up, casting a beam brighter and thicker than any Lukas had seen in a beacon before. Straight after, all four others lit up, coloured and shaped by the famed amulet.
A faint smile lent itself to Lukas' lips as he saw it, only to be overshadowed by more grief and a longing for what had been lost.
They would have loved to see this.
The thought seemed universal for the group as they bowed their heads. Petra took his hand and squeezed it tight. He returned the gesture without a look in her direction.
"A symbol of light, of hope and remembrance. I leave Beacontown in the care of these heroes in order to resolve conflict, inspire creativity, and keep everyone safe."
So much for that.
Lukas followed a short distance behind the rest of them as they headed back to one of the many building sites around the beacons. The town still needed constructing, and fast. The ceremony had only happened a week after the Witherstorm was killed, and the damage was still extensive. Entire cities, towns, villages, even lone houses for those who lived on the outskirts like Petra did had all been destroyed and the land had been desecrated. The blocks spat back out of the Witherstorm had managed to cover some close areas, for example in Beacontown, but aside from that whole biomes had been reduced to bedrock. The terraforming project would be huge. It wasn't just humans that would need homes, after all.
But it was best to start local. Individual places. Beacontown, Redstonia, some of the neighbouring cities. And, well, he wasn't sure what plans BoomTown had in place, but they would probably find their footing pretty fast. It wasn't like they had a civilised housing system anyway.
"It's still so hard to believe that they're…" Olivia began, Lukas just catching her quiet voice from ahead, "...that Jesse's gone."
"Yeah…" Axel's head drooped, "it's like each moment, I'm waiting for them to come around the corner, or say something funny…and they never do."
Lukas nodded his head and said nothing himself. What was there to say? Nothing of value from him.
"They died a hero," Petra replied instead, her voice a little clearer than the others, "I know we'd prefer them alive and a hero, but at least they had an honourable death."
Olivia sighed, "I would have preferred us to still be the losers with the pig in the treehouse if it meant they were still alive. It just…doesn't feel right."
"Yeah…it really doesn't."
Lukas could only stare at the ground as they continued on, slowly. He wasn't expecting any questions directed to him, he wasn't even sure why they'd still want him around. Despite that, he felt eyes upon him, and looked up to see Axel begin to speak again.
"I'm still surprised it was Aiden who got up there first," he said, scratching his head, "has he said much to you, Lukas?"
He shook his head, "No, he's…been treating me weirdly since it happened. Maya and Gill have been fine, but him…it's like something's off."
"Huh, that's weird," Petra narrowed her eyes, "I thought he would have been pleased to see you. Even if it was just to brag."
"Well, they have always been jerks," Axel shrugged.
"They're not just jerks, Aiden's just competitive," Lukas defended quickly, though there was still a nagging doubt in his heart. He had been acting slightly strange, "well, I'll talk to them properly tomorrow. Maybe he's just tired. I would be too if I were being followed by everyone in town to hear the story all over again."
"Maybe…"
They stopped in front of a small building plot laid out next to where the new Order Hall was going to be constructed. Nothing had been placed there, except for a sign under Olivia and Axel's name claiming it and a small pig.
"Hey, Rueben," Olivia said, crouching down to scratch him between the ears. He perked up a little and wagged his curly tail, but otherwise remained pretty despondent. Even pets could understand loss, it seemed.
"Oh boy, I missed you while we were on our adventures, little buddy," Petra added on to the pets, "I'm so glad you got back okay."
"Yeah, we really owe you one for that, Lukas," Axel said.
Lukas blinked, surprised, "Oh, you…really don't, anyone in my position would have gone looking for him. I'm just glad I found him unharmed."
He shrugged, "Well, you're a good guy, Lukas. We're glad to have you around still."
"Oh," he felt his cheeks heat slightly, "thank you."
How…bizarre. He'd completely abandoned them during that final fight and they were still treating him well. He didn't deserve it. He'd left them in their most crucial moment. He didn't deserve it.
He didn't voice his thoughts, instead turning back to the plot of land before them.
"So, what're you going to build here?"
Olivia looked over her shoulder and smiled sadly, "A memorial. For Jesse."
"Oh," Lukas' gaze softened, "that's so thoughtful."
She nodded, "We're thinking a little treehouse, just like where we used to live. Somewhere you can go and sit for a bit, do some thinking, leave a memoir."
Petra bowed her head, "That's such a great idea, you guys, it really is. Let me know if you need any materials to help build."
"Yeah…me too," Lukas chimed in.
Olivia smiled, "Thanks guys. We don't want anything too grand; just something like we knew. And anyway, there's something important to do first. Axel, did you bring it?"
"You bet I did."
He shuffled to the side to allow Axel through as he produced an oak sapling from his inventory and offered it to Olivia. She took it and he knelt down next to her, clearing a small space in the dirt so that she could plant it. Lukas watched alongside Petra, trying to keep himself from crying. He knew it was all but a natural reaction, but he was getting real sick of swollen eyes, sore throats and headaches. Besides, the funeral would be soon. He wasn't making it through that dry-eyed.
Petra, on the other hand, sniffed. Lukas looked across to see her rubbing a tear from her eye. He smiled sympathetically, and offered her an arm, like she had he before. He didn't fault her for it at all, but it was still strange to see her cry. She had always seemed so tough and cool to him, he didn't think he'd ever even seen her upset before. But loss is a greater wound than any found on the battlefield, he supposed. It made enough sense.
"There," Olivia finally announced after a minute or so of shuffling dirt. Both her and Axel stepped back, "it's done."
A small sapling placed in the middle of the grass. Something so simple yet carrying so much meaning. He watched them fix a 'Do Not Touch' sign next to it in case anyone saw and assumed a rogue sapling had made its way into the area and destroyed it, thinking they were doing them a favour. Soon it would grow into a full tree, and then they could work on their memorial.
"Well done," Petra sniffled, "that's great."
"Yeah…" Lukas echoed, "it really is."
Olivia nodded, "I just hope that, even if it's just by a couple of others, Jesse can be remembered here, like the hero they were."
"Yeah."
They stayed there for a while, staring in silence and thought, before eventually Axel turned around.
"Well, can't just stand around here all day. The funeral will be soon. Let's head out."
There was a hill outside of Beacontown, overlooking the city-in-progress, where a cemetery had been set up specifically for those who had died during the calamity. It was hard to know how many had been lost so far, and Lukas was sure it would continue to grow for as long as people continued to find this place and discover those who had been killed. Many were milling about at the moment, including the Old Order, but most were just ordinary civilians. Building graves, inscribing names, holding their own private ceremonies, it was a sad sight to see. Already though, the place had been filled with flowers and trees maintained for the resting of all around. Natural beauty worked in flawlessly with the efforts of gardeners and builders. Lukas hadn't been up here before now, and so he stopped for a moment to breathe in the scents of nature and incense. It was perfect.
He followed the little group to a small crowd towards the back end, where one of the graves was unfilled, with a chest at the bottom. When people died, they dropped inventory. It was tradition to share around the materials left, so they could still be put to use, but any tools, weapons, items of value and armour were to be buried under their name, unless stated otherwise. The things that had kept them safe in life could now keep them safe in spirit. Lukas thought it was a pleasant thing to do.
At the time, Jesse hadn't had much on them, just spare supplies from building their TNT rocket minecart (Lukas hadn't heard the full story yet), a flint and steel and the armour they had received from Ivor. Their sword had broken on the trip to the Farlands, so only the armour and flint and steel would be buried, and Aiden appeared to have claimed succession of the enchanted pickaxe, which was fair enough.
Said hero was also the one who had managed to collect the rest of their inventory before returning from the Witherstorm, something Lukas was grateful for, even if it cemented their death in stone, exactly as it was before him. It gave finality to the situation. Something to root his belief in. Something to keep him from lying awake thinking about how they could somehow be alive, and why he was here instead of searching for them.
Enough of that, though.
"I…do believe we have everyone gathered now?" Gabriel began once more (he was going to have a sore throat tonight), looking around at the gathered mourners, "Very well, we'll begin."
Lukas looked around at who had attended. By Gabriel were Ellegaard and Ivor, there was Olivia, Axel, Rueben and Petra, of course, and the rest he didn't seem to know, maybe just people paying their respects to one of the heroes tasked with slaying the Witherstorm. He was surprised, and maybe a little disappointed that none of his friends had shown, not even Aiden. He'd hoped that the man who had taken over from Jesse would at least give his sympathy, even if they had never gotten along, but apparently not. Whatever. He'd talk to him later.
"We are gathered here on this afternoon to mourn the loss of a most brave and compassionate hero," Gabriel bowed his head, "one who will be severely missed for years to come by all that met him-"
Ellegaard leaned over and whispered something in his ear. He nodded quickly.
"Oh, sorry, them. One who will forever be remembered alongside those who saved the world from the Witherstorm and one whose bravery shall remain an inspiration to all those whose lives they touched."
A murmur of agreement swept through the crowd. Lukas bowed his head. His eyes were already starting to burn.
"It is a travesty to have lost such a bright soul, but the least we all can do is remember them for how they were, and cherish the memories that we shared with them. I now invite anyone who wishes to share any words about what Jesse was to them to take the stand."
Once again, Lukas found himself staring straight ahead as the various people he had travelled with gave their speeches with teary eyes. He thought maybe he was crying, his face felt hot and wet, and his hands were shaking as he hugged his arms to himself. This couldn't be happening. They couldn't just be gone.
How was it that someone he'd only spent a few days with could mean so much?
How was it they were gone so fast?
"...an incredibly brave and smart individual, a natural-born leader…"
"...someone who never gave up despite the difficulty of the situation, who always kept pushing forwards with a smile on their face…"
"...the greatest friend I could have ever asked for, Jesse was always there no matter what, they would always encourage me to keep going, to never give up on my dreams…"
"...they were so kind and thoughtful, they never judged you when you were feeling down, and…I'm really gonna miss them…"
"...Jesse was so much more than a hero and an inspiration, they were like a light that you could always rely on to be shining, someone you could always count on to crack a joke despite the situation, the best person around…"
And suddenly Lukas was standing in front of the crowd.
His throat was dry from crying that he hadn't even realised he'd been doing, and his eyes were swollen and blurry. He had written a speech of his own, and now it was clutched in front of him, but he could barely see it. Barely focus on it. The silence lengthened, and he forced himself to swallow and begin. Everyone else had gotten through theirs, and they'd been closer to them. He couldn't just stop functioning again now.
He took a deep breath, "Jesse…was a person that I always knew I could rely on, even for the short period of time we were friends. They had an incredible heart, and there are so many smaller sacrifices than this one that they made that I will always forget. Despite the hardships of the situation, despite everything, they always made sure that everyone was happy and safe. They worked over time to break up arguments, to shoulder important decisions and keep us all safe, despite being no hero at the start of all of this. Their courage and valour is something I'll never forget, and I'm sure that everyone else will agree with me when I say they were one of the best people to know."
He looked up briefly to glance at the crowd. Olivia, Axel and Petra were nodding. His lip was trembling, more tears flowing down his face, and his throat was at real risk of closing over, but still he tried to press on.
"Um, and that's why it's more than just a shame that they were lost. That's why they'll be missed by everyone, and remembered forever, because of the joy and goodness they brought to all. No one like them deserved a fate as such as this. They were so strong and so determined, and it's still hard to believe that they're…"
He faltered. Staring at the paper, tongue swelling up, throat dry, eyes blurred, he didn't want to admit it. The ink before him danced, and he found he couldn't read any of it. He was shaking. He didn't want to admit it.
"That they're…"
He couldn't. This wasn't happening.
"They're-"
He was suddenly in front of the Witherstorm again. The pickaxe had just clattered to the floor, and those terrible words had just come out of Aiden's mouth. The world, despite the danger, had gone silent and still. He felt numb. His heart wrenched. He shook his head, refused to believe it, refused to admit it, but the truth was right there, right in front of him. His chest burned, began to heave, and it was like he couldn't breathe. Like the breath had been snatched straight from his lungs. He gasped for more, but it wouldn't come. It didn't make sense. How could this be true?
All he'd felt was fear.
He'd fled.
He felt that same terror, that same longing for air now, and he looked up to see the crowd in front of him again. Staring. Waiting. He was letting them down. Again.
He looked down, searching for the word, trying to say it, but his tears had spilled onto the paper, causing the ink to run. It wasn't real. It couldn't be real.
He couldn't do this.
"I-I'm sorry," was all he managed to get out to the mourners before he turned on his heel and began walking, then running away from the situation.
He thought someone called after him, but he couldn't focus, couldn't listen, just running until he caught up with the desperate breaths he was taking. Running as far as he could, for as long as he could, trying to catch up with his emotions. Trying to catch up to the situation.
He was a coward- he couldn't even handle a funeral. He'd fled again. He didn't deserve to get to go back to them. Not after this.
At some point he slowed to a jog, and then a walk, and then to a stop, leaning onto a tree for support. His lungs were burning and now his legs hurt too. He hunched over, gasping, trying to collect his thoughts together. He'd come to a stop at roughly the edge of the hill, so he pressed forwards a bit more before slumping into a sit where it began to slow down. Then, and only then, did he bury his face in his hands and burst into tears.
His thoughts slowed and became clearer, and now he just focused on the fact that they were gone. The word he hadn't managed to say. It didn't matter. Didn't matter now. All that mattered was the fact that they were gone.
He cried for a while and then sat in silence for longer, guilty about how he had missed the rest of the funeral, and yet he found he couldn't move. Instead, he just tried to calm his breathing down, like he'd had to practise many times before. In the newfound quiet, once the world was louder than his thoughts again, he began to listen for the birds in the trees and how beautifully they sang, the faint chatter and bustle of Beacontown at the bottom of the hill and the wind gently whispering through the branches of the leaves overhead. He focused on the warmth from the sun and how the grass tickled his ankles where his trousers had hitched up slightly. He sat still and felt the world travel around him, felt himself calm down. He'd done this dance a lot recently.
After a while, the sound of footsteps became apparent to him. Light ones that barely crunched the grass beneath them. He didn't turn, trying to keep himself as inconspicuous as possible. He didn't think he could face any of his friends at the moment. Unfortunately, it seemed he'd already been found. He braced himself for some kind of scolding on how they were worried, or how terrible it was that he'd run from the funeral, but instead was met with a more curious voice.
"Your friends are looking for you, by the way."
Lukas turned slightly, just enough to take in a slender woman with dark brown curls that framed her face beautifully regarding him with guarded eyes. He looked down and turned back again. He hadn't spoken to Ellegaard much throughout the journey, but despite that, she took this as an invitation to sit next to him, a respectful distance away.
"I must say, this is a fantastic spot to think," she began, glancing around, "and an even better one to cry."
He sighed, "I'm sorry I ran away."
Ellegaard shrugged, "There's no need to apologise. Especially not to me. It's hard."
"Yeah, but everyone else is doing just fine, aren't they?" he replied bitterly, tearing at the grass with his hands, "No one else is too pathetic to not even last a speech."
"Everyone copes with these things differently. There's no shame in struggling."
"Yeah, but there's shame in looking like an absolute coward twice now, isn't there?"
Ellegaard didn't respond for a little bit. Lukas sighed again, trying to keep himself from crying and ripping up more of the grass.
"There's no cowardice in grief, Lukas," she spoke again, after a while, "sorry, that is your name, isn't it? We didn't get the chance to speak much while we were fighting the Witherstorm. Anyway- if you need a break, if you need to cry, that's fine."
"With all respect, Ellegaard," he interrupted, hugging his knees closer, "needing a break is different from abandoning your friends in the heat of danger, and then again when people are at their most vulnerable. I wish I was holding myself together as much as you."
Ellegaard made a sound between a scoff and a sigh, and he looked at her surprised. He noticed
her eyes were red for the first time and glanced away, guilty. He'd almost forgotten about Magnus.
"Oh, I wish I could say I was holding myself together well," she rested her chin on her hands, "I wish I could say this was easy. But it's not. And it won't be, not for a long time."
He didn't respond, and she took it as an invitation to continue.
"It's the most difficult thing I've ever come across," she mused, "not just that grief, but the regret too. Knowing there was so much to be said, so much I could have apologised for, and the chance is just…gone forever."
He nodded, "All the conversations you realised you should have had when you had the chance."
"Exactly that. All the things you could have done, the ways you would have acted differently if you'd have known. The moments you would have clung to."
He nodded again, his eyes blurring once more. A long, peaceful silence fell between them as he thought over her words again and again. Admins above, the things he would have said or done if he'd have known. If he got that chance again. He sighed and buried his face in his hands once more. Ellegaard stayed quiet.
After a few minutes or so, she sighed and stood, "I'm sorry I can't be of more comfort; I'm afraid I'm really not that good with these things. What I will say is…there is no shame in feeling bad, nor in 'running away' as such. What's important is to remember you and your team have lost a friend already. Don't let them lose another."
Lukas looked up and licked his lips. The brightness of the sun penetrated his eyes, but he let it, for a little while.
"Thank you," he said, trying to give her a grateful smile.
She shrugged once more, "I'm sure there's folks better at this than I. But take your time, Lukas. And your friends'll be there for you, I'm sure."
"Yeah…me too."
She nodded and began to walk away, before turning back once more, "Oh, and please ask your friend to stop flirting with me, please? I'm not interested."
Lukas could guess who she was talking about. He laughed, though it felt a little forced, and replied, "I'll make sure to."
"Thanks. I'll see you soon."
"Bye."
He listened to her go, then stared out at Beacontown for a little while longer. Even from the distance, he could see dozens of people hard at work, rebuilding their future. Jesse would have loved to see it. They would have loved watching everyone overcome the hardship, too, he was sure. Meaning…
Sighing for a final time, Lukas took a deep breath as he rose to his feet. They would have loved to see him continue being friends with all the others, he was sure. No matter how bad he felt.
Don't let them lose another.
Pushing his guilt aside, Lukas tried to imagine the others searching for him, worried. Time to go back, he supposed. Time to apologise.
That's why I couldn't be happier
No, I couldn't be happier
Though it is, I admit
The tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated
