Writer's Note: I'm going to mainly stick to the movie, up to a point. Johnny killed the Soc, and they've gone into hiding in the church. Everything else from up to that point in the movie happened. But the church does not catch on fire, Johnny doesn't die, and they stay out there for months in hiding...just the two of them, other than brief occasional visits from Dallas. Basically an alternative storyline where the tragedy of Johnny's death doesn't happen, but they still have major problems due to the murder, and as with most people their age, are trying to figure out their sexuality.
Johnny was deep in thought as he neared the end of the long walk back. He was returning from the store, following a faded dirt path to the church where Ponyboy and him were staying. Wearing the same black T-shirt and faded blue jeans from a week prior when they had run away, his dirty Converse scuffed along in the dirt.
His thoughts of course were filled with worry…would they be caught? Would he go to jail for murdering that soc? Would Ponyboy go to a boy's home? Their lives were on the edge of a disaster, and he didn't know what to do.
But another, less urgent matter had started pressing on Johnny. He had been close with Ponyboy for most of his life, Pony was his best friend. They had shared trauma, they'd been through a lot. They stuck up for each other, and talked about things that they wouldn't talk about with anybody else.
They'd also been affectionate for quite a while, in ways that the other guys in their gang were as well, but also…perhaps more than the others. Pony would touch him on the shoulder, the back, the head, just little touches to convey affection in normal situations. Johnny, perhaps fearing how it would look, or how it would be received, never did any of that in return. But he would often lay close to Pony in the vacant lot, or now in the church, and burrow closer as they talked or as Pony read. That was Johnny's way of showing affection.
He knew he loved Ponyboy, loved him like a brother. But now that it was just the two of them, other than the brief visit by Dallas a few days prior, it seemed to be spilling over into something more. For Johnny anyway. He found himself noticing things about Pony that he'd never noticed before. His hair, his eyes, his lips, the shape of his body in his rather tight jeans, his hands…little things. And he was terrified what Pony would think, or how he would act, if he even had a slight clue that Johnny was looking at him that way.
Lost in thought, Johnny realized that he was back in the church, with Ponyboy looking at him expectantly. Pony was sitting with his back against the wall, flannel shirt unbuttoned down the front, exposing part of his pale chest and stomach. His blue jeans were dirty and stained, his feet bare and covered in dirt, and his recently dyed blond hair was sticking up everywhere.
"Hey Johnny! You look like you're sleep-walking" Pony greeted with a smile, getting up.
"Ya, I don't know what my deal is" Johnny answered with a sheepish smile back, trying to keep his eyes from straying to the exposed bare skin of his best friend's torso.
Ponyboy rested a hand casually on Johnny's shoulder as he rifled through the grocery bags with his other hand.
"You got some good stuff!" Ponyboy exclaimed, pleased. "I was getting really tired of bologna."
"You and me both, ugh."
