Mrs Bennet loved nothing more than entertaining guests. Even the smallest event was a good enough excuse to have some friends over and eat good food. So, when her eldest daughter was touring with a world class rock band and dating one member, and her second eldest was doing whatever it was she did with the same band, the proud mother didn't need more. The splendid june weather inspired her. A BBQ it would be. She had outdone herself, as usual, she reflected, hands on her hips as she beholded her tastefully decorated garden. Paper lantern tinsel were hanging from the trees and the pergola, big and beautifully decorated wooden tables were set in the shaded areas. And there was enough food to feed a regiment. Everything was perfect.

- Very nice my dear, Mr Bennet conceded with a kiss on the cheek.

He was already wearing his « Beware, sarcastic cook » apron, a gift for his 50th birthday from his daughters, ready to grill the meat. 11 AM. Counting on the delay imposed by politeness, the first guests would arrive around half past noon. She still had ample time to put the finishing touches to the desserts. Perfect.

It was difficult to tell who, between Darcy or Caroline, sulked more in the limo that was taking all of them to the Bennet house. Charlotte and Lizzie were trying hard not to laugh, Richard was strangely quiet, Maria looked forward to seeing her family and friends again, Charles was happy to meet new people and Jane was smiling yet nervous. It meant a great deal to have her parents meet her new boyfriend, even if at first she had intended not to tell Charles about this lunch. But Caroline had irritated her, and she had acted impetuous. She almost regretted now, but there was no turning back. She could only hope everyone would behave.

As she exited the limo, Caroline snorted. Of course, the house was not up to her standards. But she wasn't expecting any better from a suburban neighbourhood. Mr and Mrs Bennet were standing in front of the door, waiting to greet their daughters, and as far as Mrs Bennet was concerned, her extremely famous guests. That would be the talk of the neighbourhood for years to come.

- A limo ? Why Jane ! What a grand arrival you make ! the matron squeeked while kissing her eldest daughter on her colouring cheeks. He must be even richer than I thought ! she exclaimed.

Everybody flinched. There. They had not even set foot in the house and their mother was already embarrassing them. Lizzie could only hope that Jane had briefed Charles a little about their mother. And father. And sisters. His good nature may not be enough to handle all of them without a warning. Maybe this lunch wasn't going to be as fun as she thought it would be. Mrs Bennet turned to Lizzie and kissed her too.

- Hi mom, please, be quiet, she murmured, I'm not sure Charles wants his wealth to be talked about before getting a chance to properly greet you.

But to no avail, unfortunately.

- Nonsense Lizzie ! she cried. There is no shame in having money and talking about it !

Lizzie closed her eyes for a few seconds and took a few deep breaths. This was going to be a little more painful than she had anticipated. When she opened her eyes again, she saw Caroline fake-smiling as she greeted her mother, and Darcy displaying his sourer demeanour to her father while shaking his hand. Brilliant start. To avoid further damage, she headed straight to the back yard, where she knew she would find Kitty, Lydia and Maria, who had slipped there unnoticed.

- Hey girls ! So nice to see you, she hugged her sisters. Remember what we talked about on the phone the other day ? No pics of Richard, Charles or Darcy, ok ? What happens here stays here, nothing on the internet. It's crucial. And no distressing questions. Behave. For Jane, she added after a few seconds, hoping it would persuade the twins to act properly.

Lydia's sigh was so long and loud, it blew some of Lizzie's her hair out of her face.

- Ok fine ! Geez Lizzie ! How can you hang out with rock gods all day long and still be so dull ? she shook her head, apparently feeling sorry for her elder sister.

- Hey, they don't call me Boring Lizzie for nothing, Lizzie shrugged.

Maria's forehead crested.

- I never heard anyone calling you that… she reflected.

The innocence of that girl was so refreshing, a stark contrast with her own younger sisters.

- Who would be judging you if I became a petulant rock star ? Lizzie asked with a smirk.

Kitty and Lydia gave the same harrumph, extorting a laugh from Lizzie.

- We still have Mary you know, Kitty pouted and nodded towards the grey cat that was sitting perfectly still under a tree, staring at them, judging them all indeed. I hope Lenny is under the same embargo, otherwise it's not fair, she added, speaking about Charlotte and Maria's brother.

- Charlotte talked to him on the phone yesterday, Maria explained. Now, he fears for his life.

All the girls nodded seriously.

In a matter of moments, the other guests arrived. As a consequence, Charles, having both caught the interest of the beautiful Bennet eldest daughter and being famous, found himself the centre of the attention of the whole party, which consisted in Mr, Mrs Lucas and their son Lenny, Mrs Bennet's sister and brother in law Mr and Mrs Philips, the Bennet sister's cousin Bill Collins, and Mr and Mrs Nichols. Thanks to his genial disposition, Charles handed all of this with good humour and an unwavering smile. He seemed totally unaware of all of Mrs Bennet's faux pas. The same could not be said about his sister, whose expression was so sour it could have turned milk. Or about Lizzie. She knew her mother and sisters, thus the anticipation of every unseemly remark made her cringe even more than it would usually have, at least, as far as Charles was concerned.

- And he brought me this elegant bunch of flowers ! What a gentleman ! Mrs Bennet cried out to Mrs Philips, but her high pitched voice made sure everybody was privy to her exclamation.

Like bringing flowers was some unheard of habit. The bottles Darcy had brought had not arouse the same reaction.

- Looks like he's got a new fan, Mr. Bennet noted dryly to Lizzie.

The corner of her mouth turned a little upwards. Everybody had a drink in the hand, the sun was shining, not a single cloud was marring the sky. The guests were forming little islands of discussions, laughter emanated from each one.

- I'm also a member of the club, Lizzie told him, he's a really sweet guy.

Mr Bennet turned a surprised yet amused expression to his second daughter.

- How is violin learning going ? Are you making any progress ?

- Hardly. I still sound like a dying goat, Lizzie answered with a laugh. Hopefully, my skills will improve when you can teach me again, at the end of the tour.

They were interrupted by a short, paunchy man, visibly sweating under his too many layers of clothing. Who wears long sleeves and trousers in a bright June weather ?

- Mr Bennet, he nodded to Lizzie's father, Cousin Elizabeth, it is an unspeakable pleasure to see you again. I trust you are doing well.

- Hi Bill, you do know you can call me Lizzie.

She had always felt awkward around her cousin, so she was not going to elaborate on the pleasure of seeing him again, because she could fine none. She could have done without him, really. Bill Collins was a strange mixture of condescension and obsequious behaviour. Due to him working for De Bourgh Records, Mrs Bennet insisted on inviting him ofter when Lizzie was around. The two of them could then discuss what ever it was they were doing in the music industry. She was completely clueless about how things were running. Why there was any need for managers, labels, technicians was beyond her. Musicians just came and played, what more could there be at it ? Mrs Bennet had once asked Bill about his job. The consequence was one single very long sentence, full of equally long words. She didn't make it to the end.

- I pride myself on using your christian name, the one your parents blessed you with, Bill answered with a slight bow towards Mr Bennet.

- Ah, so that is her full name, I tend to forget it. Thank you for the reminder Bill, Mr Bennet replied, poker-faced.

Being quite hermetic to humour, Bill bowed once again, happy to be of use.

- Ha ! There you are Thomas ! Mrs Bennet called. Why don't you let the younger ones talk ? We need you over there.

She grabbed his arm and pushed him forward. The emphatic wink she gave Lizzie was not in the least way discreet. Contrary to the amused look and small smile her father bestowed her. Lizzie rolled her eyes at her parents. Why her mother insisted on setting her up with Bill was a mystery. True, they both worked in the music business, but their jobs were light years apart. And the guy was … odd. Plus, they were cousins. Three good reasons to stop this scheming. She silently thanked her father for her glass of wine, she was going to need it.

- I noticed you came in the company of some illustrious musicians, he continued.

Oh did you ? Was it the limo that gave it away ?

- Jane and Charlotte's group is touring with Pemberley right now, she explained. I work on this tour, too.

Bill stood taller, which was still quite short, and frowned.

- I didn't know Jane and you were touring, his tone was reproachful.

Was she supposed to share her schedule with him ? On which basis ?

- Of course, you know that Pemberley has a contract with De Bourgh Records, the label I work for, he continued.

Here it was, that self-sufficient smirk. This man was annoying. He needed to stress out the name of his employer whenever he could, like working for them was some kind of grand honour. Kitty and Lydia had made a drinking game out of it, the last time he was present for a dinner. Both were well on their way of being smashed long before desert. Luckily, Jane had put an end to it, discreetly. As a matter of fact, no, she didn't know Pemberley had a contract with De Bourgh Records. How could she put an end to this conversation ? Excuse me, I need to talk to anybody else ? Thank you for this information, please go ? I'm sorry, I don't speak english ?

Lydia came to her rescue. She would have preferred she did not.

- Mom ! I'm starving ! Can we eat already ? a loud grumbling Lydia approached her mom, who as talking to some guests.

Arms crossed on her chest, she looked ready to stump her foot. Lizzie gritted her teeth. This capricious behaviour would have been reproached to an 8 year-old child. On a 20 year-old girl, it sounded utterly rude. Mrs Bennet smiled and looked fondly at her youngest daughter.

- Of course, sweety, she answered, stroking Lydia's hair.

Mrs Bennet had never checked her baby twins attitude, thus they had grown up to be selfish, disrespectful and wild. Their father had long ago came to that conclusion, but trying to do something about it now sounded like to much work. So, he just watched and made fun of it. Standing near her, Mr Lucas chuckled.

- Ah ! The impatience of youth ! he commented with a benevolent smile.

More like the bad manners of youth, Lizzie thought. She glanced quickly in Charles' direction. He was standing at quite a distance and seemed not to have heard anything. Caroline, on the contrary, wrinkled her nose at Darcy. They had not lost a word. Great. On this elegant note, Mr. Bennet headed towards the barbecue with Mr Lucas and Mr Philips, a man needs some support when entering the perilous task of grilling the hole party's meat. The rest of the guests were urged to sit down and start filling their plates. Conversation continued to flow easily in a light atmosphere. The table Mrs Bennet had prepared looked like what a caterer might have done, rather than the cooking of a mother throwing a barbecue for some family and friends. There was delicious food aplenty and she didn't skimp on variety.

- Don't you have any vegan option ? Caroline asked, pulling a face while she was scanning the mountain of meat.

- I'm sorry, Mrs Bennet replied with a pout, I have to admit, we are quite the carnivorous.

Caroline glanced at Jane, who was sweetly smiling at Charles. Her eyes quickly flew over Richard, who was talking to Mrs Lucas, a glass in his hand and landed on Darcy, who was silently listening to Mr. Nichols' conversation with Lizzie.

- So I see, she answered.

- But there are a lot of side dishes, do help yourself ! Mrs Bennet invited her.

Caroline wrinkled her nose and after much consideration, reached for the potato salad.

- Your garden is so tastefully decorated Fanny, Mrs Lucas praised her friend, and the food is exquisite.

She took another bite from her plate and made a satisfied sound. Mrs Bennet was shinning with pride. A peacock would have looked dull compared to her. She smoothed her skirt on her legs.

- Thank you Lucy, you're a darling ! I do hope, I'll be able to hold another kind of lunch very soon, she answered with an unequivocal nod towards the end of the table where Jane and Charles were laughing.

She leaned towards her friend who mirrored her movement, and loudly whispered.

- If you know what I mean.

Lizzie gripped her knife and fork tighter, eyes fixed on her plate. Everybody knew what she meant. This was embarrassing. Mrs Bennet started eating again.

- This way, Jane will finally be able to stop this music thing she started, a wave of the hand dismissed it as a some kind of hobby.

- The Meryton Assembly is hitting it, Lizzie intervened.

She needed to silence her mother, and to contradict her.

- Three of their songs are airing on national radios, one of their performance was turned into a video that has a lot of views on Youtube, and they have an interview tonight with a journalist from a music magazine.

Her mother was as unmoved as she was unimpressed.

- He'll be her safety net then if you insist, although I don't know why she would want to keep doing this. He has enough money for both of them. That's just what she needed, she added with a satisfied nod of the head, like any of this was her doing.

Maybe if she didn't move at all, people will just forget Lizzie existed, or so she hoped.

- I knew Jane couldn't be that beautiful for nothing, Mrs Bennet continued much too loudly, chewing a piece of steak. An average man wouldn't do for her, what a waste ! She will look so charming on the covers of magazines with him ! He can be nothing but proud to have this lovely young woman to show off. And thanks to her, the other girls will often be in company of rich and famous men as well !

She drowned her meat with a mouthful of wine and clicked her tongue, satisfied like a cat who just got the cream. As she put her glass down, she smirked at Mrs Lucas and nodded towards Richard who was talking to Kitty.

- Maybe that makes two ! she giggled.

The noise of a fork hitting a plate broke her speech. Lizzie had not intended to drop it, but the shock opened her hand. All eyes turned to her, she mumbled a 'sorry' and took it again. Darcy's eye held hers and she felt her cheeks turn red under his censure. She was ashamed. Would it be too much to ask to have the earth open and swallow her ? Apparently, it was. Usually, she could laugh her mother's antics away, but this was too much. If only her mother could just think all of this instead of saying it out loud. And in front of Darcy, his friend and bandmate. No doubt he would tell Charles as soon as he could. Her chest tighned. She was not going to deny her mother was quite horrible, but having Darcy witness it first hand was mortifying. She wanted to scream to him that her mother was completely wrong, that Jane was nothing like this. And that she wasn't either.

Caroline was horrified. This woman really thought her brother would marry in her garden ? Her famous, rock star brother, the one selling millions of copies of his albums, making crowds of thousands of people scream his name ? He was going to get married in her garden ? She really had no idea of class, had she ? She snorted. Anyway, he was not going to marry into this family, she would make sure of that. She needed to have a discussion with her brother when they got back to the hotel. She took another bite of this delicious potato salad. She had thought driving Charles away from Jane would be difficult, but it seemed her mother was doing all the hard work.

- Now, about you Lizzie, her mother went on, pointing her knife at her in a rather threatening way.

She was totally taken aback. What about her ? Her clueless face encouraged her mother to go on.

- You need to find someone too ! she squeaked in her shrill voice. What an idea to stay alone like that. Granted, you are not as beautiful as Jane, but you can still find some decent man. Not as rich or as handsome as the one Jane catched, but still an acceptable man.

Mrs Bennet was turning her head in different directions, like she was waiting for said decent guy to show up right now so she could introduce her second daughter to him. The earth really needed to open under her feet, right now. Mrs Bennet's obsession with marrying her daughters off was common knowledge, and usually it didn't bother her that much. But having her talk about her like she was some kind of consolation prize in front of people she worked with was more distressing.

Once copious and delicious food was eaten, the various guests had scattered. Some still sitting at the table, nursing their drink, others standing in little groups in the grass, talking in the sun. Richard was one of them. He was easily talking to Mr Philips and Mr Lucas around the cooling barbecue. Kitty, Lydia, Maria and Lenny were in the twins' room where giggles and loud music were coming from. Jane was showing Charles the house she grew up in, Darcy and Caroline were out of eyesight.

- This whole lunch is a mess, Lizzie said to Charlotte. I expect Mary to piss on someone's shoes before the end of the afternoon. Hopefully, on Caroline's.

After lunch had found them lying on deck chairs in the shadow of a tree in a quiet corner of the garden. Charlotte blew out a breath. She knew the Bennets, she wasn't going to lie to her friend.

- Charles seems oblivious, he looks determined to be pleased, she noted.

Lizzie raised her can of soda.

- Bless him. Still, what is he going to think ? That was enough to send any man on the run. Look at Darcy ! We don't event now where he is, he might as well have run away. If you look closely at the road, you can see him in the distance. Going back to the stadium. On his hands.

Charlotte laughed.

- And Caroline is running just behind him, she added.

- Hats off ! It must be really difficult in heels that reek of cat piss, Lizzie continued. I have to admit, seeing Darcy and Caroline's faces all afternoon was enjoyable. They was so … annoyed by everything !

They shared a good laugh.

- Did you see the way Caroline looked at my aunt when she told her she was in the fashion world too ? Like her clothing shop in this suburban neighbourhood and Caroline's whatever first class job in New York were exactly the same ? Lizzie kept on, holding her sides.

More laughter issued.

- You have no shame, Charlotte shook her head, still giggling.

- On the contrary, my family provides plenty of it. I'm sharing.

She turned serious again.

- Still, I do hope it didn't damage Jane and Charles relationship, they're still pretty new, she said on a concerned tone.

The grey cat had materialized by Lizzie's side. Lizzie gave her a single pet, that was all Mary allowed any of her humans. And she would not lower herself to purr.

- There you are. So, did you piss or puke on someone's shoes ? Lizzie asked.

Mary turned a steady judgemental gaze at her, appraising her comment.

- Ah, you still don't find me funny, do you ?

The cat narrowed it's eyes, then turned around and left, her pace slow.

- I think it's a « no », Charlotte commented, taking a sip of her drink.

Darcy watched the cat's retreat while listening with an open ear to Mrs Lucas talk about the neighbourhood. Not that her conversation was not interesting. Ok let's be honest, it wasn't, but he had a hard time chatting with strangers anyways. Small talk was not his forte, to say the least. He always wondered how Charles and Richard could be so easy going with total strangers. Another hour and both would clap their conversation partner on the back and plan to have a beer sometime. In addition to this handicap was the fact that he was quite drawn to Lizzie. Physically. His body seemed to follow her on it's own will, always aware of her. He needed to keep that discreet, or else it would become creepy. Luckily, he had managed to sit opposite her during lunch, allowing him to watch her without craning his neck. She looked so at ease, talking and smiling to everyone. She seemed to have that thing with people, too. Unluckily, he was sitting near Mrs Bennet, making it impossible for him not to hear all her stupid remarks. That woman was the epitome foolishness. He saw the way Lizzie coloured and looked away at some of her mother's bunters, and he felt sorry for her. How that woman could be related, worse, the genitor, of someone as Dalaï-Lama-kind as Jane or as… well, Lizzie, was beyond him. At one point, he had stoped gritting his teeth at everything the mother said, as that prevented him of part taking in the delicious food she had cooked. She was a very gifted cook, one had to admit it. But she was an ardent gossip. That was not good for Charles, not good at all. How could she refrain from talking about her daughter's 'great catch', as she had so elegantly phrase it ? Jane and him would be on the covers of magazines and all over internet, thank's to the sisters, who weren't discreet either. He had heard them talk about the lost opportunities of today, due to the fact that they were phone-deprived. He sighed. Jane was nice, perfect for Charles really, but her family, Lizzie aside, was horrible. This whole barbecue was horrible. He was in agony. Here were all the things he hated the most in the same place at the same time. Strangers, a lot of them, small talk, side long glances in his direction, and Caroline, who was coming his way. Craps. He finished his drink and nodded silently at Mrs Lucas, who was still explaining what an important figure of the neighbourhood Mrs Bennet was.

- Yes, she really is impossible to ignore, Caroline commented with a nasty smile.

If Mrs Lucas heard the insult, she was classy enough not to mention it. Darcy glared at Caroline, there was no need for this. Mr Lucas called for his wife, and she went to him with a smile.

- That Darcy guy is rather … haughty, she whispered to her husband. Won't even open his mouth when addressed to. I'm not going to throw myself at him if that's what he fears.

She was fuming, Mr Lucas chuckled.

- I would sure like that.

She looked at him quizzically.

- That you throw yourself at me, he clarified with a kiss on the lips.

Caroline made a face at that display of affection between what she considered two old people.

- What a punishment it would be to have to go through more of these barbecues, Caroline stated with a disgusted face.

Darcy remained silent. He was in no mood to encourage her vicious tongue. His eyes headed to Lizzie again, she was still laughing with Charlotte under the tree.

- I know what you are thinking, Caroline sing sang in his ear.

The muscles of his jaws contracted. One window of the upper floor of the house opened and one of the twins leaned out.

- Lizziiiiiiiie ! she screamed her lungs out. Come ! We need you to help us choose our clothes for tonight's concert !

The window was then shut with a loud bang. It seemed they never missed an opportunity to be coarse. His eyes followed Lizzie as she walked into the house.

- I doubt it, he answered Caroline.