Trudy stuck to her word and kept Hailey in Intelligence.
Working the desk wasn't her favorite thing in the world, but it kept her in the action and she got to spend time with her friends, so she put her all into it. Running back footage, listening to recordings, tracing financials - there was no shortage of work for her to do. Everyone appreciated it as well; no one new had to be trained or brought on for the majority of the work. Jo was going to return after her stint in rehab, so there was no need to put extra work into getting someone else caught up to speed when they'd just leave in a few weeks.
Hailey kept in touch with her. She was proud of the detective for putting others first and getting help with her addiction. Her father may have tried when she was younger to get help, but he had to want the solution for it to stick, and that just wasn't possible.
Jo had waited until after the new year to reach out for a phone call. She didn't hold any guilt from the shooting, but she made it clear that she didn't want to overstep and interrupt Hailey's recovery. Hailey found she didn't mind the conversations. There were some days where she would sit on the couch on the phone with her until Jay came home from work, not even realizing that an hour had gone by. It was just nice to talk to someone who didn't know her entire past and history, darkening every conversation they had with her.
Everyone was ecstatic that she was pregnant with twins. They talked about double the babies and double the fun, and it aided in her own excitement for what was to come. However, there were moments where they'd do an extra check-in with her or ask about Jay or if she told her family yet, and she hated their pity. She was well aware that the abuse she endured and Jay's once absence affected her thoughts around having a family; she did not need her friends to hint at those exact things as well. That's what she had Robin for.
Weekly therapy became more important than ever. Hailey decided she needed to prioritize her mental health in ways she hadn't before. After the holiday trip to the cabin, she was determined to break through her past trauma and be in a good place by the time her kids came around. There was no perfect fix, and she was accepting that some of her past - like finding her uncle dead at a scene and her father hitting her and her husband leaving her - was always going to stick around. She was strong, though, and refused to let her past define who she was as a mother.
Each morning, she took a moment to stare at herself and her growing bump in the mirror. The babies made their presence known on New Year's Eve. Perhaps they had popped out sooner, but with her living in sweatpants and leggings during the cabin trip, she was never concerned with how her pants fit. Then, she woke up craving a cinnamon sugar bagel and insisted on going to the store with Jay just in case something else stood out to her as a need.
She'd been putting a pair of jeans on in the bathroom when she realized that the reason they weren't zipping completely probably had more to do with the fact that she was pregnant than the fact that she'd had two s'mores the night before.
"Jay," she'd called out while staring at herself in the mirror. When he hadn't come running the second she said his name, she cleared her throat and yelled out, "Jay! Please come here!"
Sweat had formed on the back of her neck and her chest tightened, making it almost hard to breathe. She couldn't believe it. Technically, she was still in the first trimester; she wasn't ready to look for maternity clothes - not when the thought of being pregnant with twins was still so wild to her.
By the time Jay had run into the bathroom, she was caught at an intersection of shock and joy that she was actually showing and tears had formed in her eyes. She silently hated the rush of hormones and emotions that flooded her system upon seeing Jay's gaze scan down to her hands cradling her stomach, but it'd just felt so good to finally be able to visibly prove that she was having babies.
"I…I thought you looked like you had a bump yesterday," he had said quietly from his spot in the doorway. He had swallowed a lump in his throat and then laughed in disbelief before adding, "But it's real. You…that's them. There they are."
She had to turn to get a better look at herself in the mirror and confirm that, yes, her stomach definitely was popping out the slightest bit. "How?" she'd asked, "I didn't think this would happen for a few more weeks."
"But there's two in there," Jay had said while stepping forward, "Twice the babies, twice the bump size, right?"
She had nodded at that logic and realized then that she was probably going to have to get a book or two or at least do some research online to figure out what exactly was going to happen to her during this pregnancy.
Together, they stood in the bathroom for minutes on end just staring at and holding her little baby bump.
After that point, the pregnancy felt incredibly real. Hailey worked to find pants in her closet that would be comfortable at work while still being appropriate. Jay bought them both parenting books to try and prepare them for what was to come. They started looking at buying a house in the suburbs not too far from Adam and Kim. Doctor appointments were scheduled. The calendar was blocked off with the possible due date, and more dates were debated if a scheduled c-section was going to have to come into play. Things were moving, and it kept them on their toes.
As February came to an end, there was no doubt that Hailey was pregnant; however, she knew that the second she found out who exactly was growing inside of her that everything would become incredibly, incredibly real.
The night before her appointment to find out the sex of the babies, she paced the bedroom, her hands were fixed on her back to combat the aching she felt, and her mind raced with the possibility of having two girls, two boys, or one of each.
She didn't know what she wanted. Two boys that could be best friends sounded adorable, but it also sounded incredibly messy with them running around the house. Two girls could be just as cute as they navigated life together, but…she was a girl, and there was a lot of drama growing up; that wasn't something she wanted to double. So one boy and one girl sounded like it might be ideal, but then she went into a whirlwind of worrying about if they'd get along with each other or what they would do regarding friends and birthday parties.
"You're gonna run a rut in the floor," Jay said while stepping out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist from the shower, "We're gonna lose the security deposit next month."
Hailey sighed and turned to face him. "I don't know if we can do this."
Jay raised an eyebrow. "What're you talking about?" He slipped his towel off and rubbed it over his chest, but Hailey was too distracted by the reveal the following day to even let her eyes flicker from anywhere but his confused expression.
"Find out the sex of the babies," she said, pursing her lips and crossing her arms, "What if we get disappointed and then spend the next five months sad?"
"Why would we be disappointed and sad?" Jay countered. Rubbing the towel over his head, he said, "I'm excited to see who's going to be joining us. It'll help with the nursery too. We're only going to have four months to get the house ready; we need to be quick and purposeful in making it feel like ours."
"I just don't know what I want," Hailey explained, "I don't know if two girls would be easier than two boys or vice versa or if we should just shoot for one of both. I don't know. If we wait until I give birth, then we just have to deal with it. No worrying involved."
"I don't think that's how this all works," Jay chuckled. He tossed the towel back toward the bathroom then grabbed his boxers and t-shirt to slip into. "We're going to be worrying about these kids for the rest of our lives. Whether they're boys or girls or one of each isn't going to change the fact that we want them happy and safe."
Hailey sighed again and ran a hand through her hair. "I guess," she whispered.
Jay studied her for a moment then sat on the bed and patted the mattress next to him. "Come on," he said softly, "Lay down with me. Is your back hurting again?"
She waved him off. "I sat earlier."
Jay laughed and said, "Hailey."
The butterflies over tomorrow were still swirling in her stomach, and Jay bringing up the new house did nothing to calm them. She could not just sit down and accept it all. She needed to stay moving to process it.
So she returned to pacing.
"What if the family doesn't leave on the 22nd?" she asked, "Or what if they absolutely trash the house before they move out? Maybe we should have gotten a house where the people already had a place to move into."
It was an argument she'd started bringing up three weeks before when they were out at dinner after signing for their new house. As a part of their offer on the place, they agreed that the family currently living in it could live within the house for the next few weeks as they looked for somewhere new to move into. They needed to pack and wrap things up at the apartment anyways, so Jay was fine with it. Hailey was worried they were somehow going to get screwed over.
The house was just too perfect for them to lose. It had four bedrooms and a partly finished basement. The primary bedroom had a bathroom attached, and two of the other three were also full baths. The backyard was mostly grass, and there was a detached two car garage that Jay was already talking about. It needed some paint, and Hailey wasn't in love with the carpet in the living room, but they could put in the elbow grease over the next few months to make it their own. From the second they'd stepped into it with their realtor, Hailey had known it was going to be theirs. It had helped that the couple living there had two kids of their own with pictures and toys to prove it; they could truly picture living there by seeing it so full of life.
But it also just scared Hailey so much more. What if the kids didn't want to move to a new house? What if there weren't better houses out there for the family to move to? What if they somehow destroyed the house on purpose as a 'screw you' for buying what was theirs? What if they couldn't actually move in when planned and the twins came early and then they were stuck in the apartment forever?
Hailey's chest tightened at the thought that had been swirling in her mind for weeks now. She rubbed over her heart in an attempt to combat the heartburn and avoided looking at Jay. He'd gotten pretty good lately at being able to tell if she was uncomfortable or in any sort of pain, and she could not afford to stop and just sit down with him.
"Hailey."
"No, Jay, I can't. I can't just sit and think about it. I need to keep moving. I-I need to go for a run, but I can't. I can't run, so I'm walking."
"You're walking in our bedroom, that's hardly the same thing as going for a run."
"You don't get it!"
There was silence, and then Hailey felt Jay before she heard him.
His hands wrapped around her waist from behind, and he hooked his chin over her shoulder to whisper in her ear, "Then please explain it to me."
Closing her eyes, she leaned back into him and breathed in shakily. "I don't…I don't know."
"I can wait until you do know, then," Jay said softly, "But also know that I'm not going anywhere as I do." With that, he began slowly rocking her back and forth where they stood, and it was enough to bring tears to her eyes.
She sank further into him and decided she had absolutely no idea how she deserved him in her life and as a partner. He might have put her through hell the year before, but he loved her so unconditionally that she was able to put that in the past where it belonged. He gave her the strength to be who she was and to chase her dreams all while still being vulnerable. She believed that he would hold her hand through whatever she was experiencing and try to make it manageable when she was struggling.
So she blinked against the tears in her eyes and murmured, "I can't control this. I-I can give the babies a home for this entire pregnancy and care for them the best that I can by taking vitamins and eating healthy and getting exercise, but I can't…I can't guarantee that we'll get this house for them at the end of the day. I might give birth and then have to take them back here to this apartment where there's not even enough room for them to grow up. How's that fair?"
"It's not," Jay said softly, "But we have to trust that it will all work out. We have a great realtor, and she's done all of the paperwork perfectly."
"How do you know?"
"I double-checked it all. I read through it all multiple times."
"Jay."
"I also sent it to Chapman."
Hailey's eyes widened, and she turned around quickly to face him. "You sent it to the ASA?"
"Yeah," Jay admitted, releasing his hand from her side to rub at the back of his neck, "I was kind of nervous about it all too, so I figured she'd be able to at least point me in the right direction of someone who could look it over too. She just ended up doing it. Maybe it was kind of extreme, but it eased the nerves I had about it."
Hailey softened and brushed her hand over his side. "I didn't know you were that nervous about it," she breathed.
"Hailey, I've been nervous about everything surrounding our lives going forward since I found out you were pregnant," Jay explained, "I didn't want to put any of that on you. You're going through so much - you're making these kids - so I decided I needed to shoulder a bit more of the responsibility, especially regarding the money and house stuff. If I can make something easier for you, then I'm going to do it."
Hailey shook her head and closed the small distance between them to hug him tightly. "I love you," she whispered against his t-shirt, "Thank you for doing all that."
He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her tight. "Anything for you."
She smiled, but couldn't fight the ache his words gave her heart, so she tilted her head up and murmured, "But you don't have to hide things from me. We can be nervous together, remember? We're not alone." Taking his hand, she placed it on her stomach and said, "Me, personally, I'm really not alone."
Jay chuckled. "Yeah, I guess you aren't." Brushing her hair back from her face, he said, "I don't want to burden you, I've kind of already given you a pretty big package to hold."
Hailey shrugged and rubbed her hands over her stomach. "It's a package I don't mind holding, but it's easier to hold when I know everything that's going on. Knowing you sent Chapman our offer and paperwork would have been one of those things that would have been helpful to know."
Jay let out a breath and nodded. "I can see that."
Hailey's lips tipped up before she pressed up on her toes and kissed his cheek. "Thank you," she said softly. Glancing back at the bed, she sighed and said, "Maybe I can lay down now."
Jay laughed again and grabbed her hand. "Then maybe I can lay with you."
She smiled as she pulled him over to the bed and adjusted the body pillow Kim had just gotten her for her birthday.
"That's going to fit in our bed?" Jay had asked when she'd unwrapped the gift.
"You got her pregnant with twins, man, I think it's okay that she takes up more of your bed," Adam had replied.
It'd brought out a deep laugh from Hailey because she completely agreed. She agreed even more that night when she'd crawled into bed and wrapped herself around the pillow to ease the aching in her back.
Once she was in bed with the pillow under her belly and Jay's hand rubbing slow circles on her back, she found it in herself to close her eyes and take a deep breath.
"You're still stressed," Jay said quietly.
"Well, yeah, that didn't help me figure out what kind of combo I want to have," Hailey sighed.
Jay snorted and slipped his hand around her side to rub over the front of her stomach. "They're not a meal you can order at a fast food restaurant."
She reached up to pinch at his bicep and said, "You know what I mean. I'm nervous about tomorrow."
"Hailey, there's no reason to be nervous."
"There's every reason to be nervous."
She slowly rolled to face him and raised an eyebrow so that he was then forced to bite his lip over his smirk.
"I'm sorry."
"It's not funny."
"I think that what's done is done," Jay replied, "This is one of those things you can't control, babe. It's not like eating watermelons will force you to have girls or apples will lead to boys. You can't watch certain things on TV or listen to certain songs to force anything about this pregnancy."
Hailey sighed again and placed a hand on his chest. "I wish it was that easy. I want to know, I really do, but I'm also nervous about how I'm going to feel once I do. There's so much to think about in terms of having girls or boys or one of each, and what if I mess any of it up? Would I really be a good mom to a girl? And what if a boy doesn't like me?"
"How could they not like you?" Jay asked, "You're their mom."
"You and I both know that just because you have a parent doesn't mean you automatically like them."
Jay softened and brushed his hand over her hair. "Hailey," he breathed, "We also know that how we feel about our parents is a strong reflection of how they treated us while we were growing up. We are not going to be like them, remember?"
She nodded and chewed the inside of her cheek. "But still."
There was no guarantee that a daughter would look up to her or that a son would enjoy spending time with her. And if they were doubled, it could just be worse. She wanted to be a good mom - a great mom - but maybe her kids wouldn't even give her a shot to do just that.
"No matter who you've got cooking in there, they are going to have the most amazing role model as a mom," Jay said, "Because their mom is strong and smart. She worked her way up from a horrible living situation to be the lead detective in Robbery-Homicide - which, by the way, was her dream since she was a little girl - and then became the lead detective in Intelligence. That's badass, Hailey, and any kid would kill to have you for a mom."
But, still, she shrugged and tore her gaze from his to watch her pointer finger draw senseless patterns on his chest. "How's that going to translate into being a mom to girls or boys?"
"Because it taught you how to be kind and gentle and the most supportive person I have ever met - outside of my own mom."
Hailey's eyes widened, and she looked back up at him. "I…do I remind you…your mom?"
Jay smiled and nodded. "Yeah," he said softly as he tucked her hair behind her ear, "You do. You always know just how to make anyone feel better, especially me. You make incredible meals. You listen. You try to grow from awful things that happen to you; you don't just let them destroy your life. Also, you're super pretty - definitely prettier than her, but don't tell her that."
Hailey laughed and wiped her fingers below her eyes that were filling with tears. "You just had to throw that in there, didn't you?"
"I did," Jay chuckled, "Because it's true." Kissing her forehead, he held her close and murmured, "You're funny, and our kids are going to love that because it's not dry humor, you love a good joke. They're also going to love how you leave little notes and how you give the best hugs. Oh, and you love the beach, so we're clearly going to have a good time up north and then on Lake Michigan. And as much as you love being outside and going for runs and doing yoga, you also love having a movie night and eating popcorn and chocolate; I can't wait to see how that plays into rainy days with the twins. Hailey, maybe you didn't ever imagine having twins or even how exactly you'd raise girls or boys, but I've imagined you in all those scenarios, and I can tell you, it looks really great."
All those thoughts and dreams raced through Hailey's head, and she could finally see herself with the twins in any sort of combination she could get.
Two girls building a fort with them for movie night.
A boy jumping in the waves with her while Jay built a sandcastle with a little girl.
Two boys trying to do yoga with her on a Sunday morning.
A soft green nursery with jungle animals above two dark wood cribs.
A pink and yellow nursery with swallow decals on the walls.
A black and white nursery with a stuffed lion in one crib and an elephant in the other.
Two boys that had her blonde hair and Jay's green eyes.
Two girls who looked nothing alike but were carbon copies of their parents.
A boy and a girl with their dad's coloring and their mom's wild and wavy hair.
No matter who was inside her belly, they could all play soccer on Thanksgiving and wander the city in the winter. They could visit the cabin on school breaks and make a summer trip to Holland every year.
There was sure to be drama no matter who she gave birth to. Girls weren't perfect, but neither were boys. Her house was going to be a mess, but that was just going to show that it was truly a home. Maybe there would be tears and arguments, but it would also be filled with laughter and toys and movie nights and pizza and hugs and everything she wished she would one day have.
Her dreams of having a family with Jay were going to come true, and they were going to be better than anything she'd originally imagined because there were going to be two pairs of feet running around.
In just one day, she was going to find out who those feet would belong to.
"It's exciting," she whispered through some of the happiest tears she thought she'd had in a long time.
Jay nodded and brushed his thumb under her eye. "So exciting," he murmured.
Sniffling, Hailey scooted closer to him until her belly pressed up against him, causing them both to laugh softly at the feeling. "I can't wait until you can feel their little flutters."
"Neither can I," Jay said, moving his hand down to slip beneath her shirt. His thumb brushed above her belly button, and she closed her eyes at the feeling. "Who's joining our family?" he whispered as he glanced down between them, "Whoever you two are, we're going to love you so much. Mommy and Daddy already love you; I hope you both know that."
Hailey hummed and rested her head near his shoulder so she could breathe him in slowly. Whenever Jay would place his hands on her belly or kiss her bump, no matter how big it was, she would melt a little bit. It was a new form of intimacy that she'd grown to crave, and she knew it was only going to increase as the babies grew.
"I know you're still nervous, but would it help if you admitted who you wanted to have? Do you want two boys or girls or one of each?" Jay asked softly.
Hailey let out a breath then shrugged. "Is it cliche to say that I just want them happy and healthy?"
"Course not." Jay glanced up and brushed his hand over her hair. "That's what I want too. I know I have all those dreams of what we'll do with them someday, but they're not dependent on if we have a-a John and Matthew in there or a Jane and Ashley."
Hailey couldn't help but laugh as she repeated, "John, Matthew, Jane, and Ashley? Those are your names?"
"They're the first names I could think of," he chuckled, "I don't have any name preferences right now, at least I don't think I do. Do you?"
Hailey shrugged and looked down at his hand still beneath her shirt.
Names were hard. There were millions of options out in the world, and it was up to them to pick out just two for their babies - four if she counted middle names. They could go classic or modern, common or unheard of, something with nicknames or something rather short to start. She didn't know how they'd ever figure it out.
What she did know, though, was that they'd both lost some important people in their lives who were never going to get to meet these two little babies. Maybe, just maybe, they could pay honor to that in some of the possible names.
"I wouldn't mind, if we have a boy, to name him after my uncle in a way," she quietly admitted, "We never really called him Uncle David; it was always Uncle DJ. So if we could find a boy name that started with D, maybe his middle name could be Jay. After the two most important men in my life."
There was a beat before Jay tilted her head up to look her in the eyes. A smile flickered across his face as he nodded. "If you're sure," he said, "It doesn't have to be Jay, but…I do like that idea."
"Yeah?" she asked, a small smile starting to spread across her own lips, "You don't mind?"
"Of course not," Jay replied, "I think it's a great way to honor him: our own little DJ."
"But only if we have a boy," Hailey said, "For girl names…" She tilted her head to the side and took a deep breath.
Amelia.
It felt classic, but also unique. It could be shortened, maybe, or it could be kept long.
It had a history.
She secretly loved the name, but she was well aware that it might not be hers to give. Uncle DJ was her family, and Amelia Halstead was Jay's. She didn't want to overstep and lay claim on a name that was so deeply rooted in Jay's life.
"You're thinking it," he murmured.
He knew. Like always.
She nodded and set her hand on the side of his face. "Only if you're okay with it. You can even talk it over with Will, if you want. I don't…I don't want to force something on you that is so personal to you. It might be my baby too, but that name belongs to you two."
Jay studied her, and she really couldn't tell what he was thinking, but she could tell he was considering what she'd said. She would respect his answer if he turned her down, though that wasn't going to stop her from wishing he agreed.
"We have a few months, right?" he finally landed on, "Is it okay if I think it over?"
"Of course," she said quickly, "And, who knows, maybe we find out tomorrow that we're having two boys, and this will all just get a pin in it."
Jay chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Maybe," he murmured, "We'll see."
Hailey tossed an arm over his waist and rested her head back near his shoulder. Breathing him in, she let her heart rate slow down and her nerves fade away. She could lay here forever for all she cared. Tomorrow's gender reveal could wait. Right now, she just needed her husband. It was a luxury she didn't have the year before, and she wanted to soak it all in before the babies got even bigger and made it more difficult - but not any worse.
Hailey was adamant that she did not want some sort of party to reveal who the twins were going to be. She didn't need fireworks or balloons or confetti. She just wanted Jay by her side as the ultrasound tech moved the wand along her belly and revealed the sex of Baby A and then Baby B.
Kim and Trudy tried convincing her to do it, saying it would be fun and that they could do something lowkey, but she continued to turn them down on her way out of the district to go meet Jay at her appointment. They were going to throw her a shower in two months; she did not need them to add a gender reveal party on top of that.
As she drove to the hospital, she called her mom to give her an update on the pregnancy and to let her know that today was the day they'd been anxiously awaiting. She'd told her mom about being pregnant upon the return to Chicago after the new year. The conversation had been short, but she had wanted it that way. There were undertones to her mom's questions that suggested she was still struggling with the idea of her being back together with Jay - a hypocrisy that she didn't think she'd ever get used to hearing. Yet, as hypocritical as her mother was, she was still a mom who was excited to be promoted to Giagiá. Hailey was careful not to make promises about seeing the babies a lot or even coming to the hospital to meet them, but she struggled to cut her out completely. Sharing her pregnancy with her mom felt like the right thing to do - a way to make her the bigger person in the relationship.
"You don't owe her anything," Jay had told her once she'd hung up the phone after that first call, "You don't have to let her anywhere near the babies. You don't even have to send her pictures. I will support you with whatever you do, but please don't stress yourself out with this. You, and those babies, are much too important to risk additional stress."
"I know, I know," she'd sighed before laying back on their bed. Her hand had ghosted over her tiny bump, and she'd silently vowed to protect them from her mother's criticism. They deserved more than the empty promises her parents loved to give.
Now, she kept to that mindset as she drove to Med and told her mom that she'd send her ultrasound pictures in the coming week. She didn't put a date on it, and her mom understood. There were things that were going to get done first before she shared more details with her.
Things like picking out paint colors for the nursery and decorations that would be sent to the new house. Further debating names for the twins and wondering who they were going to look like. Taking days off work for future appointments and keeping herself healthy.
Spending time with Jay.
He was waiting for her outside the hospital in his uniform, and a smile instantly spread across her face.
"I love this," she said before pecking his lips.
He laughed and slipped his arm around her waist to walk her inside. "What do you love?"
"You in the uniform," she clarified, "It's hot."
Laughing harder, he shook his head and led her to the elevator. "You're just saying that because of all those hormones you've got going on."
"Doesn't make any of this any less real," she shot back, "I love you in the blue shirt and the tie just as much as I love you without it. Makes me want to try and convince you to take the rest of the day off with me."
"I could probably do that," he said with a chuckle, "Before we do that, though, any last guesses regarding those babies? Anyone at work have anything to say?"
Hailey stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the maternity ward. "This morning, I was feeling two boys, and I'm sticking to that. Kim agrees with me, but Adam wants two girls to play with Mak. Kev and Dante think one of each."
"And Trudy?" Jay asked, leaning against the wall to her left.
"Refuses to say," Hailey answered, "She doesn't want to make a decision and wants to be surprised when I tell her. Voight just said 'good luck,' but I think he's secretly hoping for one of each."
Jay laughed again and shook his head. "I'm sure." Letting out a breath, he said, "I think we're having two girls. I had a dream about two girls last night, so I think that was my mom telling me something."
Hailey smiled and squeezed his hand. "That'd be something if she was."
Jay hummed and stared off in the distance for a moment before turning to his side to face her. "Listen," he began softly, "I am so excited for us to find out that I kind of want to bottle this moment up and save it."
Hailey raised an eyebrow. "What're you-"
The elevator door opened, and she was half-tempted to press the button to close the doors again, but then Jay nudged her out so that another couple could take their place inside.
Still, she didn't give him much space upon their exit and placed a hand on his chest to get him to look at her. "What're you talking about?" she finished, "Do you not want to find out today?"
"I…" Jay sighed and squeezed her hand. "I was looking at the calendar this morning," he mumbled quietly, "And the one year anniversary of my accident is coming up. I ended up taking that day off so I can go for a ride to clear my head; I have a feeling it's not exactly going to be the easiest day to get through."
Hailey nodded, not understanding what he was trying to say, but agreeing all the same. "I'm expecting the same," she breathed, "But what does that have to do with the babies?"
"Hey, Halsteads!"
They looked up at Hannah Asher's voice and instantly broke apart.
She walked over and asked, "Did you just get here? I saw your names on the appointments for today."
"Yeah," Jay answered, "We're here for an ultrasound."
"The big one," Hailey said softly, her hand coming up to rub at her stomach while she still kept an eye on her husband next to her.
He was going through something that she hadn't anticipated this morning or even the night before. When they'd finally fallen asleep, he'd been telling her how excited he was to go tell Will as soon as they found out. He hadn't seemed off or nervous about anything.
"So exciting," Hannah gushed, "Have fun! I'll be sure to take a look at the pictures as soon as I get them, but I'm not expecting any issues. We've had a really good pregnancy so far. You're doing great, Hailey."
She smiled and leaned a bit into Jay's side, his hand coming out to rub at her back. "Thank you," she said softly, "I'm glad you're on our team for this one."
Hannah's smile widened, and she reached out to squeeze her arm before walking away from the two of them.
Jay tried using her leaving as a way to get Hailey to continue moving toward the check-in desk, but he was met with her digging her heels into the hospital tile and turning to raise an eyebrow at him.
"Talk to me first."
He sighed and stuck his hands in his pockets. "I had this idea this morning that maybe we have the tech put the results in an envelope and that we hold off on reading them until that day."
Hailey softened and set her hands on his arms. "To give it a happier memory."
"Exactly," he breathed, "I just figured that the other 'anniversaries' over this last year were hard enough, this one's probably going to take the cake. Might as well think ahead and plan something fun."
"Then that's what we do," Hailey said, squeezing his arms.
Jay glanced up with wide eyes. "You're really okay with it?"
Hailey let out a soft laugh and tilted her head to the side. "A year ago, I was crying myself to sleep, wishing you were home, and then suddenly my life was turned upside down when you did come home - just in a different way than we all imagined. That was…"
She was thrown back to coming home to find a letter from Jay and crying to it on the couch.
Waking up a bleary mess and dragging herself to shower before work.
Answering a phone call from Walter Reed.
Texting Trudy in a confused panic that Jay was back in the United States.
Sobbing in her hallway because she needed to pack everything up and fly to Maryland.
Arriving at the hospital and struggling to get the words out so they'd help her find Jay.
Seeing him in person for the first time in months, only he was completely broken looking and asleep.
Waiting at his bedside for hours on end just hoping he'd wake up and remember who she was.
It was a day she never wanted to relive.
"The worst day of my life," she finished quietly, "I will happily make better memories with you on that day in an attempt to smile on the anniversary of your accident."
"Thank you," Jay whispered. He bent down to kiss her forehead then hugged her tightly to his chest with a low groan. "You're incredible."
She smiled against his shirt and mumbled, "I try to be."
He laughed as he stepped back then let out a breath. "Well?"
She nodded and put a hand out. "Let's go see those babies."
For the next three weeks, Hailey tried not to think about the envelope that was burning a hole in Jay's truck.
The ultrasound tech was more than happy to write down the sex of both babies with ultrasound pictures to match and slip them all into an envelope before printing off pictures that were safer to look at. She said it was something people did all the time and wasn't an issue in the least. Jay accepted the envelope and promised to keep it in the console of his truck until they were ready to open it, just so they wouldn't lose it in the process of packing up the apartment.
Hailey felt tempted several times to go down to the truck and look inside, but she behaved and kept to herself. The pictures she was allowed to look at were cute enough as it was. The babies were finally looking like babies, and she could see their little hands and feet in the pictures. She already knew she was going to become obsessed with those little parts of them because just the thought of them holding onto her fingers made her tear up.
She really was hating the constant emotions the hormones brought her, but she was trying to lean into them instead of ignoring them. Robin reminded her that she would be much happier if she let herself have a good cry instead of pushing it off until she exploded late at night while Jay was asleep next to her. So that's what she tried to do when the hormones got the best of her while she was packing or looking at the pictures or even just cuddling with Jay: it was okay to cry right now, especially if it was how she showed how much love she had inside her.
Jay asked that she give him the morning to himself on the anniversary of his accident. He'd taken the day off and wanted to go for a motorcycle ride before bringing the envelope to a place he refused to tell her about to prepare for their gender reveal in the afternoon.
"We can't do glitter," she'd told him as they got ready for bed the night before, "We're leaving this place in a week. We cannot leave glitter everywhere."
Jay had laughed at that and kissed her before quietly promising no glitter was going to be involved. He also swore he wasn't going to look in the envelope at all. His plan was to give it to the worker at his secret location and tell them that he didn't want to know the results until he was at home with his wife. Hailey believed him, but didn't mean she didn't feel any jealousy toward the idea that he was going to have the envelope while she wouldn't.
She needed to know.
Still, she constantly debated who was inside her and what names she'd give them and how they'd decorate the nursery and what worries they could possibly have as they grew older. Her mind spun daily with what everyone's future was going to look like upon finding out if the twins were boys, girls, or one of each - aka, a "combo" as Jay liked to call it now after the words had slipped out of her lips. There was a lot that could make her go crazy, but there was even more that could go so incredibly right. So, as her bullet wound scar bothered her less and less, so did the thought of who exactly her kids were going to be. She had a lot to look forward to, and it was all going to start the second she discovered whatever Jay had in store for her.
She left work at lunchtime and grabbed Thai for her and Jay before making her way to their nearly boxed up apartment to wait for him to come home from his morning out in Chicago.
He'd asked her if she wanted him to sell the motorcycle, but when he'd done so, she could tell in his eyes that he really didn't want to say goodbye to the bike. He'd bought it as a way to relax and ease the stress of his mind; she couldn't take that away from him, and she had no desire to do so. Plus, it'd give her something to look forward to upon giving birth: she could finally ride with him again. She hadn't gone on many rides before finding out she was pregnant, but the wind through her hair and the speed slipping around her had been enough to make her want to do it again and again. She understood how it cleared Jay's head and supported him going for rides - but only on clear days and not when there was ice on the streets. He still needed to come home at night.
By the time she was unpacking the boxes of Thai food on the island, the door to the apartment opened, and Jay stepped inside.
He smiled at her and said, "Hey, you," while setting a bag down on the entryway table.
She watched him slip off his coat and shoes as she, almost too loudly, said, "Hey! I didn't know when you'd get here."
"Couldn't stay out forever," he replied, walking over to her with the bag he'd brought home. He kissed her cheek, and she felt the wind that had burned at his cheeks brush against her skin.
Laughing softly, she said, "Good ride?"
"Yeah, I needed that," he breathed. He set the bag next to the Thai food then pulled a stool over to sit on it. "Thank you for being okay with it. It helped to get out of the house for a bit."
Hailey shook her head and stepped between his legs. "Nothing to thank me for. This day…it sucks, and we have to find ways to get through it. You deserve a break."
Jay set a hand on her side. "You deserve a break too. Is there anything you want to do today to get that? Maybe we can't go for a ride together, but we could wander down to the lake and just take it in. The wind could kind of replace the feeling of riding."
She laughed softly. "That does sound nice, and I'll probably take you up on that, but first…" Her hand reached over to the bag he'd brought home and dragged it closer to her. She had to push up on her tiptoes to see what was inside and couldn't help but suck in a surprised breath at the contents.
"I swear I don't know what the twins are," Jay said as she quickly pulled out two containers, each with a cupcake inside from the bakery she'd fallen in love with months before while in the hospital, "I gave the lady the envelope, and she took care of the rest. If we bite inside the cupcake and it has pink frosting, it's a girl. Blue, then it's a boy."
Hailey smiled wide at the two cupcakes labeled with a chocolate A and B in the top frosting. "I am so excited."
Jay laughed. "I am too. And here." He pulled the envelope out of his pocket and passed it over to her. "She stapled it back up to prove to you that I didn't look."
Hailey shook her head as she laughed and set the envelope down on the counter. "All right, shall we?"
"What?" Jay chuckled, raising an eyebrow, "Shouldn't we eat lunch first?"
"When has dessert first ever killed anyone?" Hailey countered. She left no room for argument and sat down next to him to open the cupcake containers. Sliding cupcake A to Jay, she added, "We've been waiting for weeks for this, we cannot wait any longer."
Jay stared at her for a moment then said, "I really can't argue with that. How do we want to do this?"
"Count of three?" Hailey asked. She picked up her cupcake and stared at it. "We can both take a bite at the same time then show it to the other?"
Jay nodded and unwrapped his cupcake. "One."
Hailey pulled the wrapping off her own. "Two."
"Three."
Together, they bit into their cupcakes, keeping their gaze on each other for a second before looking down at the frosting peeking out. Hailey gasped and showed Jay hers just as he flipped his own around. Her eyes widened at the frosting, and she coughed as she said, "Oh my god."
"Here we go," Jay laughed, setting his cupcake down and wiping at his lips. She'd barely swallowed her own bite as he reached over to wrap her in a tight hug.
Here they go indeed.
A/N: One last cliffhanger? Forgive me? :) It feels so weird to say that next chapter will be the final chapter of this fic. It has been quite the journey. I will try my hardest to get it done at least within the next two weeks to share with you. Until then, I hope you enjoyed this update! Thank you all for reading :)
