Disclaimer: I own nothing
Chapter 6: Malfoy v. Potter: The Duel of the Century
—
3:30 PM
On A Thursday
Hogwarts Grounds, Scotland, U.K.
"So, how was detention with the blond bastard anyway?" asked Seamus as they and the other first-year Gryffindors walked through the castle gates.
"About as fun as the time I spent a week trapped inside a linen closet at the Holiday Inn," said Harry bitterly.
Ever since he and Draco were caught red-handed (or red-mouthed, in Harry's case) both of them had to serve detention together each weeknight the past two weeks. The work wasn't too bad (cleaning used potion cauldrons was child's play compared to Charlie Work). Even Snape seemed to have enough sense not to cross him after the whole incident, although Harry did catch him glaring every so often.
What made it unbearable however was Draco Malfoy. He was obnoxious and lazy, and when he wasn't sneering at Harry he was bragging about some relative or friend of his father. Harry had actually managed to turn the last part into a game where Harry would one up each of his stories with a story about The Gang.
"Oh, your ancestor banged some old Queen? Dee was a foot girl for Tiger Woods, Don Cheadle, and Donovan McNabb!"
"Another one started the Black Death in England? Frank ran a sweatshop in Vietnam that killed five times as many people!"
"Oh, that ancestor wrote about burning Muggles? Dennis came up with a whole cult and tricked one idiot into burning himself alive as a sacrifice, just because Mac was eating all the Thin Mints!"
"I'm just glad you haven't escalated anything yet," said Hermione, her voice more patronizing than impressed.
"I couldn't," said Harry glumly. "If it wasn't for the flying lessons, I'd have poisoned the little prick by now."
"We'll get our revenge after today's lesson," promised Ron. Harry smiled at that. Hermione groaned.
The Gryffindor first years marched out onto the field. The Slytherins were already there waiting, standing next to the brooms. As they got closer, they could see many of the Slytherins were covered in red lumps and bandages. The only one who seemed unscathed was Draco.
"Is it just me or do the Slytherins look more pissed than usual?" wondered Dean aloud.
Harry and Ron smirked at each other. Hermione noticed this and glared at them.
"I thought you said you weren't going to do anything until after the flying lessons," she said with a frown.
"We didn't do anything to them…" said Ron, innocently.
"We did, however, give Fred and George an idea that was too good to pass up," clarified Harry.
"What do you mean, 'gave them an idea?!'" hissed Hermione
Three hours earlier
"Hey guys!" yelled Crabbe as he entered the common room, followed by Goyle, who was holding a large box marked with the letter 'H' "Looks like the Hufflepuffs sent us a gift box!"
"It's about time! Wait, how do you know it's from Hufflepuff?" asked Marcus Flint, skeptically.
"Duh, there's an H on the side!" said Goyle, tapping the side of the box.
"Well, I suppose the 'H' could be for Hogwarts," shrugged Crabbe.
"Either way, only one way to find out!"
They popped open the lid. There was a light buzzing when suddenly hundreds if not thousands of hornets came flying out. They went in every direction, attacking helpless Slytherins. Some of the older students tried to raise their wands in defense of themselves and their fellow classmates (mostly the former), but most dropped them as the stingers swarmed their hands.
"It's bees!" cried Crabbe as several flew up his nose. "The 'H' stands for bees!"
"That was you two?!" shouted Pansy Parkinson, the uninjured parts of her face now as red as her many swollen sting marks.
The three spun towards the Slytherins, who all looked ready to pounce.
"Oh," said Harry, surprised. "You were listening?"
"You arseholes are standing right in front of us!" cursed Zabini, furiously scratching a welt on his forearm.
"Well, if you were paying attention, you should've heard we didn't do it, we just told my brothers to do it," said Ron, matter-of-factly.
"Oh, so if we want to get back at them, we have to do something to you," said Draco, smiling nefariously.
"Uhh…" stumbled Ron. Before Draco could say anything, Blaise scowled.
"'We?!' You barricaded yourself in the dorm room!"
Draco turned; his skin slightly paler than usual. "Huh?"
"Hey, yeah!" added Goyle, lowering his eyebrows, winching slightly from the sting wounds on his forehead. "You locked the door behind you!"
Draco scoffed. "Yeah, like that was the first time you messed up using a door handle. Don't be stupid, Goyle,"
"We were all trying to open it!" said Blaise through gritted teeth.
"Um- I couldn't hear you!" said Draco quickly
"We could hear you laughing on the other end of the door!" snapped Daphne Greengrass.
"T-that was… because… my cat did something really funny,"
"You don't even have a cat!"
Before the other Slytherins could fully turn on Malfoy, a woman with short white hair blew her whistle. The students jumped, and hurried next to the brooms
"Alright class, I am Madame Hooch,"
"Awesome last name," whispered Harry, sounding jealous.
"Everyone listen, and maybe I'll be able to keep all but the least competent of you lot out of the hospital wing," Almost involuntarily, everyone turned to look at Neville, who gulped. "On my mark, you will stick out your right hand and command your broom to come towards you by yelling 'up.'"
Harry was the only one to get the broom on his first attempt. Draco got it on the second through sheer force of anger. After a couple of minutes, almost everyone had gotten their broom. Neville was so shocked when it first hit his hand that he dropped it and had to restart the process. Once he got the broom a second time, the only one who was left was Hermione, who was getting angrier and angrier as she saw far less clever students around her claiming their brooms with relative ease.
"Up! Up! UP!" shouted Hermione at the ground. "UP, YOU PIECE OF-"
"Um, Miss Granger, dear," said Madame Hooch slowly, careful not to step too close. "Perhaps you'd have better luck if you, uh, weren't stomping on the broom as you called for it,"
Hermione's cheeks flushed. She sheepishly took her foot off the broom. After a few more tries, it finally hit her hands.
"Now on my mark…" as Professor Hooch was explaining the next steps, Harry and Ron started their own conversation.
"So, what's that game you and your brothers were talking about?" asked Harry. "Squid bitch?"
"Quidditch," clarified Ron. "And it's just the greatest sport in the entire Wizarding World!"
"Do you guys have other sports?"
"… What's your point?" asked Ron, narrowing his eyes.
"Look, all I'm saying is give me five guys like Hagrid, and the Eagles are winning the Super Bowl every year!" said Harry emphatically.
"What the hell is a 'Superb Owl?'"
"Huh? No, it's-""
"Sorry, can you guys maybe keep it down a bit?" asked Neville with all the backbone of a snail. "I didn't catch what Hooch said,"
"I don't do quiet, bro," dismissed Harry, laughing to himself. "I'm kind of a badass,"
"Well, do you know if she said to mount our brooms yet or not?" asked Neville nervously.
"Dunno," shrugged Ron. "But you've got a fifty-fifty shot, so figure it out,"
With that, Neville made his guess. He was wrong.
Neville's broom rose as he screamed. The broom seemed to panic with him-thrashing and spinning like an angry bull trying to buck him off - as he held on for dear life. He was certainly fast, as Madame Hooch's spells were unable to make contact before Neville slammed straight into the wall with a sickening crunch.
They all ran closer to inspect the wreckage and check on Neville, who was whimpering on the ground as he clutched his wrist. Madame Hooch helped him up and started heading towards the castle.
"Any of you to try anything will be expelled before they can say Quidditch," she warned as Neville limped at her side. Once they were far enough away, the students broke out of their stunned silence.
"Poor Neville," said Parvati Patil, shaking her head.
"Aw, worried about your little boyfriend?" mocked Pansy.
"At least he didn't fly into a beehive, Parkinson!" snapped Lavender Brown.
As the other Gryffindors and Slytherins hurled insults, Draco noticed something red glistening on the ground. He picked it up, tossing it in his hand.
"Hey, Longbottom dropped his Remembrall!"
The mere smell of a scheme in the works drew Harry like a moth to a flame.
"How much do you think we can get on the resale?" asked Harry curiously.
Malfoy's smile melted as he lowered his arm and stared at Harry, mouth agape.
"What the-we?!" choked out Malfoy. "You rejected me twice!"
"Oh, you're still holding onto that?" asked Harry, rolling his eyes. "Come on. I bet I could even sell it back to Neville. Kid'll probably forget it was his in the first place by the time he's out of the Hospital Wing."
Malfoy's glare switched to a nasty grin. He mounted his broom.
"How about this?" he snarked. "You mess with my score? I mess with yours,"
Draco kicked the ground and flew off. If nothing else, the boy was a decent flier. Harry was about ready to chalk the situation up to a loss when he noticed everyone staring at him. He grunted, annoyed.
"Welp," he gave a resigned shrug. "Can't look like a pussy,"
Hermione pushed forward.
"Harry, don't be stupid. You don't even know how to fly!"
"No, but I was raised by a bird," said Harry flippantly. "There's gotta be some crossover.
Hermione was too befuddled to object as Harry kicked off. He shut his eyes, half bracing to crash on his face. By the time he opened them, however, he was face to face with a stunned-looking Malfoy.
"What the hell…" whispered Harry. He barrel-rolled left and soared through the air before arching back down on the other side of Malfoy, who swerved to face him, mouth agape. Harry laughed "Holy shit, this is easy!"
"N-no it's not" sputtered Malfoy, his rage winning against his awe. "It takes years of practice and training! My family alone has spent thousands of galleons on getting me the best flying coaches in the-"
"-Pretty easy to me," said Harry, doing another loop. "Wooh! Like, my glasses didn't even fall off. How did Neville even get hurt on his broom anyway?"
Draco raised an eyebrow. "Have you met him?"
Despite not wanting to agree with Malfoy, Harry had to laugh.
"Yeah, kid's an idi- wait, Neville! You stole his thing!"
Without thinking, Harry leaned into the broom and tightened his grip, shooting towards Malfoy like a bullet. Malfoy was barely able to dodge out of the way.
"Catch it if you can!" shouted Malfoy.
Harry watched in shock as Malfoy chucked the glass ball as far as he could. Draco looked on at his throw, immensely impressed with himself as he turned back to mock Harry.
"Hah! Maybe you can sell Longbottom the pieces, Pott-ooff!"
Harry stuck out his forearm as he sped pass, clotheslining Draco square in the gullet. He could hear the blond coughing and screaming as his broom spun out of control towards the ground, but he never looked down.
For him, the Remembrall was the only thing in the sky. He could feel the wind hitting his face harder than ever, but otherwise, everything seemed to be slowing down. It was only then that he realized both he and the Remembrall were heading straight to the ground. He leaned harder on the broom, stretching out his right hand until the glass ball was in his grasp - and forced himself back up just before crashing into the ground. Harry could hear people cheering for him on the ground and decided to showboat with a few flips and loops before diving off and hitting a sick double jackknife onto his feet. He stuck the landing, stretching out his arms with the Remembrall in one hand and the broom flying into the other.
All the Gryffindors and a few Slytherins who had been caught up in the moment came rushing towards him. He basked in the glory as they chanted "Harry! Harry! Harry! Badass! Badass! Badass!-
"POTTER!"
Malfoy came stumbling out of the bushes, his robe and hair covered in splinters and greenery. Harry could see parts of the ruined broom scattered on the ground. Draco winced with every other step, and the left side of his face was already starting to bruise. Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy came rushing over to help him, but Draco brushed them aside. His eyes were fixed on Harry with a murderous rage.
"ARE YOU MAD?!" screeched Draco.
Harry put down his broom and scratched his head. "I mean, not really, anymore. That was great for blowing off steam."
"That's not what he meant!" snapped Hermione. "He clearly meant that-"
"You stay out of this, Mudblood!" snarled Pansy. "No one cares what you-"
Something in Hermione broke. Her face flushed red.
"YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH OR I WILL CLAW OFF WHAT'S LEFT OF YOUR FACE, YOU UGLY STUNGED UP BITCH!" barked Hermione.
Pansy gasped, putting her hand over her mouth as her eyes widened and started swelling up with tears. She went sprinting towards the castle, face in hands. Daphne started after her, but turned back around, hesitantly looking back and forth between Pansy and the rest of the group with a tentative expression. Once Pansy had run far enough away, she spoke.
"That was epic!" Daphne exclaimed, before turning and sprinting after her supposed friend.
Hermione's face was still red, but she slowly started to notice the stunned faces amongst Gryffindors and Slytherins alike.
"Dear God," she whispered. "I-I didn't-"among
"-Okay, Hermione's actually awesome, good to know," said Harry over her. He turned to Malfoy. "What was your problem again?"
"Y-you can't just clothesline your opponent out of the air!" screamed Draco, waving his hands wildly. Bits of debris came flying off his robe as he spoke. "I could have been killed!"
Harry chose his next words as carefully as he could.
"…So?"
Malfoy's eye twitched. He let out a primal scream as he sprinted towards Harry. Harry absently started wondering whether he had pushed the blond boy too far. When Malfoy was about three feet away, however, he bounced off of some sort of invisible barrier in between them. He landed flat on his back.
"Mr. Potter!" called out a familiar voice.
Harry turned and felt his stomach drop as he saw McGonagall standing by the castle.
"Come with me please,"
Harry gulped. The surrounding students spoke up in protest.
"Harry didn't do-"
"It was all Malfoy's fault-"
"Professor, I have reason to believe Pansy Parkinson is delirious from some sort of bee allergy, so don't believe-"
"No matter the reasons…" McGonagall spoke over them. "…there is still a matter of importance that Mr. Potter and I need to discuss,"
Harry stood still for a moment. "Is there any chance that this conversation will end well for me?"
McGonagall just pursed her lips at that. She turned around, motioning for Harry to follow her. Harry looked at his friends and gave a small shrug.
"She didn't say no," he said cautiously as he slowly walked to join her. All the Gryffindors looked on apprehensively. Draco, who was still laying on the ground, gave a spiteful laugh.
"And that's how The Great Harry Potter got his crazy ass kicked out of Hogwarts!"
"And that's how The Great Harry Potter became the Gryffindor's Seeker!"
The Gryffindors in the Great Hall cheered as Harry finished his story. Harry hopped down from the breakfast table and back next to Ron, who clasped his shoulder, congratulating his friend again. Hermione looked at them with a pained expression.
"You've told this story three bloody times since yesterday!" groaned Hermione, half hiding behind her newspaper. "How are people still cheering?!"
"Couldn't tell ya'" shrugged Harry. "Guess there's not much else interesting going on at this school beside me,"
Hermione scowled at him.
"Don't be stupid!" she snapped. "There's plenty more to Hogwarts besides-"
"Get down!" screamed someone on the far side of the bench.
They all ducked as an owl with a broomstick wrapped in packing paper in its talons sored dangerously low across the table. No one was hurt, but many of the taller trays and higher stacked dishes were knocked over before the broom was plopped in front of Harry. Harry plopped back up and looked towards the sky.
"Thanks, Guy Rodgers!" he called out to his owl. Everyone around him started staring as they emerged. He rolled his eyes. "Look, I know it's obscure, alright? But I thought it'd fit with Temple being-"
"Just open the broom!" called out a Fifth year across the table.
"Oh, right," said Harry, eagerly unwrapping the broomstick with the help of Ron, Fred, George, Dean, and Seamus. One of them tossed a large piece of paper aside that landed on Hermione, who growled underneath it.
"Holy shit, dude!" exclaimed Ron looking at the handle. "It's the Nimbus 2000!"
"Oh, so that's what year it is!" Harry snapped his fingers.
Everyone around him frowned. Hermione pulled off the paper and looked at Harry in shock.
"What the… no! It's-"
"Just about the greatest broom ever made!" cut in Ron. "These things can outfly a Norwegian Ridgeback!"
Harry blinked at Ron. Ron sighed.
"It's fast as shit, in other words. And expensive,"
"Ohhhhh, shit, nice!" exclaimed Harry. "Wonder who…"
Harry noticed McGonagall staring at him with a small, secretive smile. Harry gave her a small wave and looked back down at his peers.
"Huh, guess teaching pays well in this world," said Harry in disbelief. "Good to know…"
Hermione started to gag at the thought of Harry being in charge of shaping young minds.
"Well, time to reenact some of my heroics on this-"
"Hang on, there's a note," said Ron, handing it off to Harry. Harry broke the seal and shook it for any cash. He frowned as nothing came out except a single piece of paper. Harry picked it up and read it aloud. "Fly this broom inside the Great Hall, and I will kill you,"
Harry looked back up at the dais. McGonagall was still smiling, but there was a look in her eyes that almost dared Harry to defy her. Harry turned back to Ron.
"Courtyard it is!"
Harry and Ron hopped up from the benches, leaving their meals behind as they raced each other to the exit of the Great Hall. They had turned the corner towards the courtyard when they heard an unpleasant sound behind them.
"Well, if it isn't Potter and Weasley!" came a familiar taunting voice.
Both of them rolled their eyes, turning around to see Draco Malfoy marching towards them. As always, he was flanked by his two goons. Harry looked past Draco and at the pair.
"What are you two, hourly?" asked Harry.
"Yeah," answered Crabbe.
"No," answered Goyle. He spun around to Crabbe. "Wait, WHAT?!"
"Not now, Goyle," commanded Malfoy. He smirked at Harry. "Have you started packing your bags yet, Potter? I'm sure your precious Muggles will be so disappointed that-"
Harry waved the head of the broom in front of Malfoy's face. The bristles made Malfoy sneeze violently. When he looked back up, his mouth dropped.
"That's the Nimbus 2000!" he gasped. "How'd you get that?!"
"Just a little gift from Professor McGonagall to congratulate Harry," bragged Ron on Harry's behalf.
"Congratulations to him for what? Fastest student to get expelled from Hogwarts?" snidely asked Draco, although he was clearly barely holding onto a dying hope.
"Nope. It was probably something to do with getting the starting Seeker spot," said Harry happily.
"Let me see if I have this right…" snarled Malfoy, getting pink. "… You almost killed me, and McGonagall rewards you with a state of the art broom AND a spot on the Quidditch team?!"
"Bet your ass she did!" smiled Harry,
Draco stomped his foot and sneered.
"I can't stand this any longer! I… I challenge you to a duel!"
"I accept," answered Harry flatly without a hint of hesitation.
Malfoy clammed up. Crabbe and Goyle exchanged looks behind him. Ron looked like a little kid on Christmas. After a few moments, Draco let out an involuntary uncomfortable laugh.
"Hehe… are you serious?"
Harry mulled it over for a second, then nodded.
"Yeah, I accept your challenge," he said, somewhat bored.
Malfoy was pale as a ghost.
"D-do you want time to think it over, or-"
"Nope," said Harry, shaking his head. "What kind of gun are you gonna use?"
"G-gun?!" stuttered Draco.
"Yeah. I can write Frank and have him send two if you need to borrow one," offered Harry. "I can just pick it up off your corpse when we're finished-"
"I don't need your Muggle's charity!" sneered Draco indignantly. Harry frowned.
"Charity? What? Of course you're going to have to pay for-"
"Wait- what are we talking about?! We're not even going to be using guns!"
Harry grinned.
"Oh cool! I've been dying to use a sword!" he said excitedly.
"No! No swords!"
Harry frowned and scratched his head.
"Okay, don't get me wrong, I'm cool with pummeling you senseless with my bare hands. But that seems like it's a bit uncivilized for a duel. Are you sure-"
"-We have wands, dumbass!" exploded Draco. "Now, if you don't have any other stupid questions, we-"
"- Just one more," interrupted Harry. "Are the rules any different since we're not lawyers?"
Draco threw his arms up in the air.
"Jesus Christ! Why would- mmph,"
Malfoy bit down on his own index finger. He slammed his eyes shut for a few moments before opening them with a deep breath, turning to Ron.
"Okay, I'm going to iron the details out with you, Weasley, because I-I can't deal with this shit any longer," decided Draco.
"Fair enough," shrugged Ron.
"Yeah, he doesn't even, like, get us, man," agreed Harry.
"I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU!" yelled Draco. Harry blinked. Draco looked like he wanted to scream some more, but he swallowed, scowled, and turned to Ron. "Midnight tomorrow, trophy room. Don't be late!"
"We won't," glowered Ron, crossing his arms. "I'm calling dibs on Harry's second. Who's going to be yours?"
Malfoy pondered it for a moment.
"Crabbe," he answered.
The shorter one picked his head up.
"Huh? What? Did someone say my-hey!"
Draco scowled as he dragged Crabbe and Goyle by their ears into the Great Hall. Harry turned to Ron.
"What's a second for, anyway?" asked Harry.
"They're to replace you if you die in the duel," explained Ron.
"So even after Draco dies, I'll get to kill the goon?" asked Harry.
Ron laughed "Don't worry, mate. Neither of you knows spells that'll be bad enough to kill ya. Worst case… hang on, did you say 'get to?!'"
Harry considered for a moment. "… Let's just move past it. We've got a duel to get ready for!"
Decided to split this chapter into two parts since it was going over 8,000 words. Let me know if anyone has preferences for shorter or longer chapters, or anything else you think would help (or if you want to just boost my ego, that works for me lol)
