Chapter Forty-Eight: A Different Kind of Animal
It was midday in Lydia's apartment, and Beetlejuice found himself pacing her floors again, pausing and not budging every time he felt that strange static sweep over her place. He made sure to be as silent as possible, for too much fuss and noise would create a ripple big enough for those pricks to hunt him down in an instant. He knew it was only a matter of time before those assholes found his location, and once that was done, he'd be slurped up in their portal and spit right into solitary confinement. In other words, it wouldn't end well for him.
He was staring out the window, watching breathers come and go, while loosening the collar of his suit. He knew he couldn't afford to fuck this up, and despite how he felt about what he was doing, he mentally pushed himself to hang on and move forward. He had to strike swiftly, and if it took brute force to marry that woman, then brute force he would use. Yeah, she was practically a saint compared to him, but he reasoned that bad things happened to good people all the time, and she was just another overdue example of that.
It was in that moment of unnerving pondering, that he heard a click at the front of her apartment. He tensed up, as the door slowly whined open, hearing her soft footsteps against her kitchen floor. He swallowed back that weird angst inside himself, reminding himself this was what he'd wanted all along. Sure, it would hurt a bit now, but he'd be free again, and she'd get her just desserts. That was the plan, whether he doubted it or not.
"Eh...herm..." he cleared his throat, stepping away from the window and into her view. When he first laid eyes on her, he noticed that she was still in those really short shorts, holding a coat in her hand. Lydia walked on past him, as if she was purposely avoiding him. It didn't take a genius to realize that something was already way off about her. "Hey! Deetz! What happened?" he finally spoke, following her into her bedroom, as she carelessly tossed her coat into her closet, still staring at the floor. She didn't look the least bit enthused, but he figured that was all part of it. Lydia wouldn't be happy. That was the point.
When she finally locked eyes with him, she had the strangest look on her face. It was practically unreadable at the moment, and as much as he stuffed the feeling down, it was unsettling as hell. Despite that, however, he pressed on. "Deetz? What is it?"
Lydia sighed. "I'm off the hook. They found all the art back in place. It was like no one had been there at all. Not a person, anyway..." she spoke slowly, her eyes narrowing in on him, and for once, she was actually scaring him a little. "They chalked it up to some sort of hoax. They took Rob in for questioning, too. I told them I thought it could be him."
"Heh. Dumb prick." Beetlejuice snorted, rubbing the back of his neck and feeling really offput by the weird tension coming from her. Hopefully he could do the marriage thing as painlessly as possible - for himself, of course. The less force he needed to use with her, the better. He told himself that it was because he'd get things over with faster that way. It wasn't like he cared if he hurt her anymore. He decided he was done with her, and he could dart on out of her life as soon as they did the whole I do and kiss thing. He swallowed back the strange mixed feelings boiling inside himself when he thought about that moment. "He's probably pissed that ya didn't bone him." he continued, trying to hide the true nature of what he was about to do.
"Except it wasn't him." Lydia stated flatly, staring him down like she was about to have his ass for dinner. Okay, that wasn't good. Beetle could feel his undead body begin to tense up immediately.
"...And that's supposed to mean?" he began to stare her down, too. Honestly, he'd seen this coming a mile away, he just didn't want to think about it. He'd been too panicked and way too damned sloppy to pull this off without a hitch. Though everything inside himself wanted to forget about everything and stop this crazy shit before it even started, he knew it was too late. He'd already set everything into motion, and there was no backing off the crazy train now.
"Someone tipped the cops off. They traced the call back to my apartment." Lydia replied, her voice low and too calm for her to be even remotely okay. "It wasn't Rob. You were the only one here."
Now was the moment he had to make a terrible decision, and though he'd proclaimed Deetz as his ultimate enemy, he somehow chose the lesser of the two evils, which was to negotiate with her. He didn't need things to blow up or the authorities back home would find him in a heartbeat. He needed to keep calm, and most of all, to keep he as quiet as possible. He slowly slid his hand down in his pocket, gripping one of his many rings and holding it firmly in his mossy hand. Something took hold of him once he felt that smooth metal in his grip. Lydia was right where he wanted her: alone, rattled, and defenseless.
"Why?" Lydia seemed to swallow back her emotions, which were causing her eyes to glaze over a bit.
What immediately felt like severe guilt, Beetle converted to anger. Who was she to really think that they had something between them? SHE was the one who fucked everything up to begin with, NOT him. Besides, he needed to take control, so he made sure to keep any sign of real emotion to himself. "Did ya really think I came here to be yer little friend, Deetz?" he grinned deviously, stepping up to her. Instantly, he felt a wave of static hit him, causing him to breathe a bit more heavily. He needed to tread lightly here, or he'd be somebody's prison bitch.
"No." she shook her head, her lips beginning to turn downward. "But I hoped you'd change your mind."
Beetle's face wrinkled in confusion. "The hell does that mean?"
"I knew. You told me." she admitted, backing up a step.
"Told you what?" he stepped forward, his growing anger causing another pulse of static to hit him. He paused a moment, not daring to move too fast. "I didn't tell you a damn thing..."
"You were drunk. You said you were going to ruin my life." Traces of worry began to finally fall though her facade of calmness.
"Huh." he shook his head a moment, not taking his eyes off her, lest she dart away from him. He didn't remember shit about that. Even so, it didn't matter. If she was dumb enough to stay, it wasn't his fault. "And ya thought I'd change because?" he glared, ready to chain the bedroom door shut if he had to.
"Because you told me the way you felt. I thought maybe you'd see that I wasn't your enemy. I guess I was wrong." Lydia's voice grew a bit thicker and more spiteful. This was giving him a hell of a bad feeling right now.
"I never told ya I was a nice guy, Deetz. That was yer own doin." he growled, trying to corner her.
"I know. I was an idiot." she said, as a tear began to roll down her cheek. "I guess I didn't think you'd really throw me under the bus like that." Lydia began to raise her voice as she stepped back toward the nightstand.
"Hey, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do, Deetz." he chuckled darkly, following her as he flung her bedroom door shut, locking it with his powers in an effort to show her she had no choice but to do what he said. "You gonna do this the easy way or are ya gonna make it reeeeeal hard on yerself?" he asked, holding out his hands and feeling that rush of control take over. THIS was the moment he'd been waiting for. She was so distraught and helpless and HE was holding her happiness in the palm of his grimy hand and crushing it like a cockroach between his teeth.
Suddenly, however, that powerless, frail, pathetic girl began to snarl at him. "I could've been put away a LONG TIME because of you! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!" she suddenly screamed, taking a jewelery box off of her nightstand and throwing it as hard as she could muster, slapping him square in the face with it.
"WHAT THE-" he began, only to stumble back, his ass hitting the carpet. He sat there a moment, stunned, before he realized the little shit was actually fighting back! Beetle immediately scrambled to his feet. "You little TWAT! YOU ASKED FOR IT NOW, SISTER!" he yelled before even thinking, as he was knocked back by another wave of static. He yelped, before catching his balance.
"I TOLD YOU I WOULD MARRY YOU! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO TRY AND RUIN MY LIFE! I'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT GOOD TO YOU!" Lydia fumed, grabbing pillows off her bed and pelting him with them.
He held his arms up in defense. "WELL YA ALREADY RUINED MINE, DEETZ! YOU KNOW HOW MANY YEARS I SPENT SUFFERIN' IN THAT CESSPOOL OF A HOUSE WITH NOTHIN' BUT BOOZE AND EVIL BITCHES TO KEEP MY ASS COMPANY?! I COULDA' BEEN OUT THERE! I COULDA' BEEN LIVING!" he shouted, taking a pillow and throwing it back in her face, knocking her back with it.
"That wasn't my fault! You weren't perfect either! Let's not forget that you TRICKED me into trying to marry you! I was just a girl, you bastard! What was I supposed to do?" she blasted him again, jumping up on her bed and grabbing her lamp, looking pretty damned ready to beat him over the head with it.
"WE MADE A FUCKIN' DEAL! A DEAL IS A DEAL IS A DEAL, DEETZ! YOU FUCKED ME OVER! IT COULDA' BEEN CURTAINS FOR MY ASS! YOU THINK I'M JUST GONNA FORGET ABOUT THAT?!" he raged, grabbing at her until he caught hold of her ankle, pulling her foot out from under her and causing her to fall flat on her back, where she thrashed about like she needed holy water splashed in her face.
This time, a large jolt of energy hit Beetlejuice, knocking him to the floor. They were homing in on him. His rage and her bitchfit was causing too much noise in time. He could practically feel the seconds count down. "GET OVER HERE!" he yelled, yanking her up, only to be smacked in the face repeatedly with the sharpest lamp known to man.
"LET GO OF ME, YOU DICK!" Lydia struggled, though he overpowered her easily, yanking the jagged, artsy looking abomination from her grasp and slinging it out her apartment window, shattering the glass. It burst into a thousand pieces, raining down in all directions like a waterfall of destruction.
"Oh shit..." he gasped, as his momentary burst of shock allowed his hostage to run out of his grasp, opening her bedroom door bolting out of it. He glared, watching her run to her front door, only to "shoot" at it, Juicing a giant stone block in front of hit. Lydia crashed into it, falling back on her ass and shrieking. "Oh, no ya don't..." he stepped up to her, grinning widely as the realization hit her that she was completely and utterly trapped. "Ya can't win here, Deetz."
He stood, glaring down at her and remembering just why it was so satisfying to finally be in this moment. She sat at his feet, panting and looking completely helpless. He didn't even have to scold himself for feeling guilty. He was too drunk on power to care.
Lydia stared at the floor, wiping at her face. After a strange moment of silence passed between them, she finally looked into his eyes. "You're never going to forgive me, are you?"
In that moment, there was a glimmer of something else inside of her, something that had been there all along that he had to completely dismiss his reaction to. Unfortunately, he had little time to make his dried-up sponge of a brain think on the matter, due to the fact that a faint sound began to ripple through existence. "Oh, fuck." he gasped to himself. Sirens. Tons and tons of sirens were echoing through the barrier of worlds.
"That's enough, Deetz." he demanded, snapping his fingers, as he used his power to initiate the ceremony. Instantly, the same alien-esque priest from twelve years ago materialized behind a crooked, web-adorned pulpit, as a rust-red carpet rolled out beneath his feet. The room grew dark and ominous, with a dim, blue hued spotlight on the two of them. He yanked Lydia up from the floor, her eyes bulging as she found herself in that same blood-red wedding dress from years past. This time, however, he added an extra touch. He sniggered with devious satisfaction as she began to whimper, pulling at a metallic plate bolted firmly onto that previously running mouth of hers. Her eyes grew even wider, when she realized that her wrists were cuffed together as well, those cuffs connected to a handy little chain that he just so happened to be holding.
"Consider it a wedding gift, Dearie!" he snorted, as she screeched, trying her best to slap at him. "Woah, woah, Babe! Save it fer the honeymoon!" he held his hands out, before turning to the priest. "Don't mind her. The little lady's just excited. It's her first time an' all..." he spewed bullshit, loving every moment of wreaking such havoc. Of course, that was short lived, due to the fact that the sirens had grown loud enough to break the barrier. Lydia began to whimper, looking about herself wildly, as the floor began to shake under their feet. "OKAY REV, GET ON WITH IT! AN' SKIP THE BULLSHIT ABOUT LOVE AN' ALL THAT!" he spat, before turning to Lydia, who now looked at him with tears running down her face. Her expression was pleading, and she was shaking her head in protest. It was enough to make him almost feel remorse. Almost.
As the priest droned on, as to be expected by a thousand-year-old dead fucker, Beetle pulled a ring out of his pocket, dropping a few snakes and spiders into the floor, causing Lydia to gasp as they scurried past her and into the darkness. He glared at her, motioning for her to hold her hand out. She eyed him worriedly, before hesitantly reaching her left hand toward him. It was shaking when he grabbed it. Finally, he got to slide it on his bride, and as he did so, she looked at him like he'd shot her dog and ran over a bus load of orphans. Needless to say, it was nice. Or it would have been if it hadn't been for the giant earthquake that began around them.
"HURRY THE FUCK UP! I GOTTA GET THIS BROAD TO SAY YES BEFORE THE COPS DRAG ME TO HELL!" Beetle fumed.
"Very well..." the reverend slowly began, as the space in front of them began to fill with static. "Betel-" he began, only for Beetle to stop him dead in his tracks.
"AH! DON'T SAY THE NAME!" he growled, pointing his grimy finger at the reverend as a bright light began to shimmer, nearly blinding him.
"Mr. Juice...Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" he asked, as the floor began to crack under his feet.
"YEAH, YEAH! I DO! FUCK!" he screeched, as he and Lydia both stumbled about, trying to keep their balance.
"And do you, Lydia Deetz, take Mr. Juice to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the reverend drawled, as Beetle turned to her.
"YOU'D BETTER NOT FUCK IT UP THIS TIME, DEETZ!" he warned her, grabbing her arm as she winced, turning away from him. He began to see red and blue flashing lights blaring in from the portal. This was it. He was depending on this moment, and if he let her out of his grasp this time, that'd be the last time. He leaned in, growling in her ear. "Now, I'm gonna take this off yer mouth. If you say one-word outta line, I'll juice yer ass to Saturn and this time YOU'LL be worm food!"
He grabbed her by the face, eyeing her as she nodded reluctantly. "Good." he said, quickly zapping the restraint from her mouth as he turned back to the priest. Unfortunately, the only thing he felt was a warm hand on his shoulder. "What the-" His face scrunched up in confusion, as Lydia pointed to the portal, where a swat team immediately burst through. Two members grabbed him by the arms, trying to drag him off, as Lydia stumbled against the wall, while their surroundings were all but falling apart.
"SAY IT, DEETZ! SAY IT!" he screamed, as she just stood there, watching his ass get dragged away by the cops. Instantly, he knew why he hated her all those years. She was letting them take him away forever while she just watched like a deer in the headlights. All the things he thought were vile about this beautiful, wicked demon were true all along. She was just watching him burn. He tried to fight the cops, but he was outnumbered. "YOU LITTLE BITCH! FUCK YOU!"
...
Lydia swallowed hard, wincing as she watched her enemy kick and elbow the men dragging him away. It had all happened so fast that she was dumbfounded.
"Mr. Juice, you have to come with us! We have a warrant for your arrest for breaking the barrier." Another man in uniform shouted, and the world seemed to slow down as everything crashed and burned around her.
Beetle hated her guts, and he was literally calling her every name in the book. Was she really going to let him get dragged away to never be seen or heard from again? She could do it. Right now. She could leave it all to burn to hell and never look back. She looked at him, watching his eyes nearly burn a hole through her. She'd never seen so much hate inside a being in her whole life.
She stumbled, watching him nearly escape, only to be grabbed again, one of the men clamping some glowing green handcuffs on his wrists, instantly causing her own to fall off. Any moment, it would all be over. She eyed her freed hands, before looking to him one final time. She wasn't him. They weren't the same, and she wasn't what she'd been told. She wasn't what Delia, or Rob, or Candice, or what Beetlejuice himself said about her. She was a different animal altogether, and that was why she knew what she had to do.
It wasn't for any of those people, and it certainly wasn't for him. She did it for herself. Lydia took one step forward, then another.
"I FUCKIN' HATE YER ASS! IF I EVER GET OUTTA HERE, I'LL DRAG YA TO HELL WITH ME!" he screamed, looking as if he'd eat her alive. She never knew just who she was dealing with, but neither did he.
Lydia picked up her chains off the floor, and burst into a sprint, watching all of them, cops, reverend, and especially Beetlejuice turn to her in shock. She stopped dead in front of them, screaming and swinging the chain so hard it burned her hand. The metal rope slammed into the cops, knocking them back. Beetle ducked down, barely missing being knocked to the floor himself, as she grabbed onto him, wincing as she felt one of the cops grab her by the hair. "I do..." she gasped, trying to fight against everything for her own damned sanity.
"Wha..." Beetle's color drained, as she said it louder.
"I DO!" Lydia yelled, grabbing him and pulling his cold lips into her own, as she closed her eyes tightly, hoping that hell wouldn't open up and swallow her whole in the process.
"Then I may now pronounce you husband and wife." the ghostly reverend's voice chimed in her head, as she gripped her enemy, trying to hold on for dear life as the world began to shift and spiral around her. She bit her bottom lip, tears stinging her eyes as she felt something inside of her fracture, though she didn't know or understand what was happening.
"Ack!" she gasped, feeling something blow the two of them apart, and a bright light burst inside her vision, leaving her on her back in the floor. "W-what?!" she gasped for air, scrambling to her feet, as she stood stunned. The world was completely put back into place, and she was left staring into the face of her enemy, who stood completely speechless.
