Title: I Get By (With A Little Help From My Friends)
Rating: PG/K
Originally posted: 24th August 2024
Originally written for: iriel3000 – 'Kate notices the Black Widow tattoo on Clint's arm (there should have been one!)'
Characters/Pairings: Clint & Kate; Clint & Nat
Notes: for Be_Compromised Summer Promptathon 2024
"What?"
"Nothing."
When people said nothing, they almost always meant something. Besides, for all that Kate was very good at shooting a bow, and was learning fast in hand-to-hand and even covert ops, to a degree, she was still pretty lousy at hiding what she was thinking, especially from him. Clint watched her squirm and avoid all eye contact for a few seconds, knowing eventually she would cave. He had learnt more about her than he intended to and in a very short space of time.
"I was just... Um, the tattoo," she explained at last, biting her lip a second before she went on. "I mean, obviously, I didn't just notice the whole... situation," she said, gesturing the length of his arm with her pointer finger, "but the actual symbol. This. Right here," she explained, not quite making contact with his skin before she retracted her hand fast. "It's for her, right? For Natasha?"
Her voice broke a little on the last word, or maybe Clint just imagined it. Maybe the wavering was only in the thought of Natasha's name within his own head. He wouldn't be at all surprised if that were the case. Honestly, it was only when Kate continued to stare at him, less with a nervous expression and more with genuine concern by then, that he realised she asked him a question and he didn't even try to answer it yet.
"It's for her," he said at last, so soft he was amazed she heard.
"I thought so." Kate nodded. "You miss her a lot."
That was a statement rather than a question which made Clint smile in spite of himself. Not because he was happy that she noticed. Not because there was anything amusing about what she said. It was more that it was possibly the biggest understatement he ever heard in his whole life.
You miss her a lot. No, Clint didn't miss Natasha a lot. He spent most of the time feeling completely at a loss, knowing she wasn't there and never would be again. It was like he couldn't even breathe from one second to the next. Like he was dying of thirst in a neverending desert. As if the world was playing the most enormous trick on him, kidding him into believing it was possible to go on living when she wasn't there.
"Uh, so, we should..."
"It's okay, you know?" Kate's hand on his arm stopped him from getting up and moving away, forced him to look at her and meet her sad eyes and her almost encouraging half-smile. "I mean, I can't say that I understand, not entirely. How could I? Losing my dad was... But I know that's not the same thing. I'm not sure that anybody really knows how it feels when another person loses someone. Everybody's relationship is unique and you and Natasha, that was..."
"Yeah," he agreed, without her needing to say more. "She really was something else. I couldn't even begin to explain..."
"And I'm not asking you to. I guess, what I'm saying is, if you ever do want to talk about it, about her, or just need somebody to be there, or anything, I'm here. I don't know if that helps but-"
"Thanks." His other hand landed on top of her own on his arm and he found her a brave smile.
"You're welcome." She smiled back.
Maybe it helped just a little.
