-Chapter 218-

A Heated Discussion


Knothole

A Warp Ring opened up, Sticks exiting alongside Team Chaotix.

"Surely you guys have heard the stories of the ghost springs," Sticks remarked. "Weird green lights spotted in lakes all over Mobius. Why won't you look into it? Aren't you detectives?"

"Exactly," Espio replied. "We're detectives, not ghost hunters."

"It's a bit out of our wheelhouse, Sticks," Vector added.

"You guys have a wheelhouse? You literally once took a job to hunt down Chao."

"That was different!" Charmy pointed out. "Our friends were in trouble."

They entered Freedom HQ to find Team Thorndyke in the living room, discussing things.

"C'mon, Kat," Chris insisted. "Why won't you just give us your Flickee (1) handle already?"

"Simple," Kat replied. "I don't have one."

"I call B.S. on that one!" Keith insisted. "Everyone has a Flickee."

"I don't," Hope cut in. "I deleted my account awhile back. After Eggman surfaced, I ended up bombarded by idiots teasing and harassing me for being related to a lunatic. So I gave up on social media completely."

"You deleted all of them?" Chris questioned.

"Yep. I am completely social media free." She paused for a moment. "Well, except for Scrambler."

The group looked at her at that.

"Is that anything like Stumblr (2)?" Kat questioned.

Hope shook her head. "Actually, it's the Eggnet equivalent of FriendSpace."

Keith blinked. "The Eggnet has its own social media platform?"

"How do you think Aggie and I keep in contact?" Hope questioned rhetorically.

"Fair," Chris turned to Kat. "But you, you have to have some sort of social media."

"All I have is a Stumblr, and I only use that to look at artwork," Kat said. "I did have a FriendSpace awhile back, but I haven't touched it in years."

"Why not?" Chris questioned.

"Two good reasons." Kat held up a hand, showing a single finger. "One: I had better things to do than waste my life liking endless posts of puppies and kittens." She extended a second finger. "Two: I only used it to keep in contact with my family."

The mood dropped at that… until there was a crash from the war room.

"Oh boy," Hope sighed. "They're still at it?"

"Apparently," Chris sighed.

"Who's at it?"

They turned to see Espio standing there.

"Sonic and Shadow have been in the war room bickering over something for the past forty minutes," Chris explained. "Sounds like it's starting to get physical."

"And none of you thought to-?"

"Stick our noses where they don't belong and get them flattened?" Kat cut in. "Hard pass. Even I'm not that crazy."

"If you wanna risk your life breaking it up, Espio, be my guest," Keith said. "I'm not going in there."

-X-

In the war room, Sonic and Shadow were indeed having a loud, passionate argument from opposite sides of the smashed table.

"It's bullshit, Shadow!" Sonic ranted, throwing up his hands. "It's your brand of bullshit from the first to last."

"Please, it's hardly my fault a pathetic faker like you can't recognize real skill." Shadow retorted.

"Okay first, that faker crack doesn't even work anymore. Second, is being a cutthroat, soulless, killing machine really a skill?"

Shadow got in his face. "It is in an actual battle against actual opponents, Sonic! The world isn't going to just drop what it's doing just because you call 'parley' and want to talk things out!"

"I'm not talking about talking things out!" Sonic shouted. "I'm talking about determination and courage in the face of danger! Plus, there's a little thing called teamwork and camaraderie. Maybe you've heard of it?"

"You just want it to be the way you want it to be."

Sparks were dancing all across Sonic's body as he began openly yelling. "IT'S NOT ABOUT WHAT I WANT!"

"Excuse me." Both hedgehogs turned sharply, spotting Espio in the doorway. "Is this something we should all be discussing?"

The two stepped away from one another at that.

"No," Shadow said sheepishly.

"It just...sounds a little serious," Espio said.

"It was mostly... theoretical," Sonic replied.

"We were just trying to…" Shadow sighed, cleared his throat, then started from the beginning. "Look, if pirates and ninjas got into a fight, who would win?"

A dead silence followed as the crowd outside took that in.

"Seriously?" Keith let out, rubbing his face. "That's what you've been yelling at each other for the past forty minutes about?" There was a long moment of silence before he lifted his head to face the hedgehogs. "Do the pirates have weapons?"

"No," both Sonic and Shadow answered in unison.

"Then the ninjas, obviously," Kat remarked. "I mean, they've got the skills, the dedication, not to mention the discipline. Pirates just swing swords around willy-nilly, and half the time they're suffering from lost limbs or scurvy."

"You're wrong!" Charmy cut in. "Pirates are so much cooler than ninjas!"

Espio gasped dramatically. "Blasphemy!"

"This isn't a debate on coolness," Chris insisted. "Ninjas required serious training."

"And pirates didn't?" Keith asked. "Swordsmanship is a refined skill."

"Right, because when I see a pirate, I immediately think of refinement," Hope said flatly. "They just sit on their butts on their ship, stealing money and drinking rum."

"Hey, sailing and navigation is harder than it looks!" Keith insisted. "It took skill to be a pirate!"

Kat immediately grabbed him by the collar.

"Traitor!" she howled. "How dare you say pirates are better?!"

"Ease up, Kat," Hope said. "Boys are just naturally drawn to the brutes of history."

"Brutes?!" Vector exclaimed. "Pirates had a code, not to mention strategic prowess!"

"Right, and yet most of the time, their fighting is relegated to ships, guns, and cannons," Shadow pointed out. "In a true fight, the ninjas would obviously be superior."

"That, and their 'code' was more guidelines than actual rules," Chris added. "Ninjas followed bushido, the code of conduct and honor."

"That's mostly a samurai thing, but you're not too far off." Espio said.

"Pirates are better than ninjas!" Keith declared. "That's a scientific fact, or my name isn't Keith Edward Kent!"

"Ninjas are better, or my name isn't Hope Angela Kintobor!" Hope shot back.

"Yóu gǔrén…" Kat sighed. "We need a second opinion. Where are the others?"

-X-

Sometime later, the rest of the Freedom Fighters and Chaotix were called in. The rest of the Brain Trust were pro-ninja, only to be surprised when Antoine objected.

"What do you see in pirates, man?" Porker demanded. "They're dirty, stinky, vulgar, rum-swilling crooks who are lucky to have four and a half teeth in their whole head!"

"Vulgar?!" Antoine cried. "I will have you know that the dashing, swashbuckling rogue is one of the greatest heroic archetypes in history!"

"Yeah, in books and movies," Rotor deadpanned.

"True pirates are nothing like the romanticized images you seem to be thinking of, Antoine," Johnny added. "They were bitter savages who were out for themselves. Ninjas, however, have specialized clans with defined hierarchies and true codes of honor."

"I'm with Ant on this one," Shorty said. "Pirates know how to hold their own in open warfare. What's a ninja good at besides sneaking around the shadows in black pajamas?"

"You do realize I'm a ninja, and am standing right here," Espio remarked.

Shorty shrugged. "Yeah, you're the exception that proves the rule."

Espio fumed at that.

"That's the whole point, Shorty!" Tekno objected. "Ninjutsu's all about guerrilla warfare; emphasizing deception, trickery, ambush, sabotage, and first and foremost, pragmatism. Of course they wouldn't fight in the open."

"And that's why they would lose," Shorty said matter-of-factly.

"No they wouldn't," Tails cut in. "The ninjas would lure the pirates into their field of battle, picking them off one by one. The pirates would never stand a chance."

"Siding with the ninja lovers, Tails?" Sonic scowled. "I have no best buddy."

"A little dramatic, don't you think?" Tails deadpanned.

"Tails can recognize true skill when he sees it," Shadow remarked. "Not his fault a faker like you is blind to the truth."

"Pirates, ninjas, all the same," Omega cut in. "Easily gunned down by my arsenal."

A moment of silence followed at that, before Knuckles shrugged.

"Just ignore him," Knuckles decided. "No room for wishy-washy neutrality here."

"Knux, come on, back me up here," Sonic said. "You were literally Sinbad. You have to be Team Pirate."

"Oh, I am," Knuckles assured. "Half the time, they were having to outsmart entire empires. For all the guff pirates get, they're incredibly crafty."

As the debate got more headed, Cream and Cosmo cut in.

"Guys, c'mon!" Cream objected. "They're both cool in their own way!"

"Yeah, can't we just agree we have our preferences and respect that?" Cosmo added.

"NEVER!" Amy declared dramatically, both girls flinching.

"C'mon," Saffron said. "I know how to fix this."

The girls rushed off at that.

"Pirates ain't gonna win this little contest of yours!" Bunnie declared. "Ninjas outshine them in every aspect!"

"Ninjas are better than pirates!" Kat shouted. "End of story! Bye-bye." She leaned forward, whispering "See ya later."

"A pirate should get his chest of loot and BEAT A NINJA OVER THE HEAD WITH IT!" Sonic yelled at the top of his voice.

"You know…" Shadow began, "that's not a bad idea."

All of a sudden, the doors to HQ were blasted off their hinges, Sonic and Shadow fighting and rolling around on the ground. That set everyone off, a full-blown brawl beginning. Bunnie had Antoine in a choke hold, trying to get him to tap out. The Knuckleheads were in a full knockout drag out through a massive mud puddle. The Brain Trust had pretty much ganged up on the ninja team. Espio was going toe to toe with Vector and Charmy, the latter just barely keeping out of range.

Just as things started to get bloody, a loud, shrill whistle pierced the air. Everyone froze in place, still having one another by the neck or collar, before turning to see a visibly annoyed Sally stride toward them with Saffron, Cream and Cosmo in tow.

"They ratted us out…" Charmy gasped.

"Alright," Sally began, keeping her tone level. "Who wants to explain this?"

Sonic immediately pointed to Shadow. "He started it!"

"I don't care who started it, Sonic," Sally snapped. "I'm ending it."

"It was just a debate," Shadow said. "It just got a little… hectic."

"A little?" Sally questioned. "You were in a full-blown war in the middle of the courtyard!"

They all looked away at that, embarrassed, as Sally went on.

"All of you clean this up, now. And I don't wanna hear another word about this stupid debate," She sighed. "And for the record, neither is better than the other. For naval battles, pirates are superior. For open combat, ninjas. It's a matter of location. Maybe if you'd taken the time to calm down and not jump right to the fighting, you'd all realize that."

And with that, she walked off. Slowly, everyone picked themselves up, each sporting rumbled and dirty clothes, some bruises, and a few scratches. They also looked around, wincing at the damage around them.

"Is this really what we've come to?" Espio asked sadly. "Is a simple 'who would win' debate all it takes to turn us into complete animals?"

"Apparently." Sonic pulled a twig out of his quills. "I guess we've all been starved for real conflict. I mean, every fight we've gone into, we've won. It's a bit boring when you always win the game, y'know?"

"Since when is fighting villains to protect the planet a game?" Shadow questioned.

Sonic held up his hands. "It's just a metaphor, man."

Tails wiped the mud off his face. "Still, isn't always winning a good thing? I mean, losing would be rather detrimental to Mobius."

"I'm not saying I wanna lose," Sonic clarified. "I just want a challenge. Something that pushes me."

"You almost died last week," Knuckles pointed out.

"That guy cheated with magic, and the fight was over in like twenty minutes," Sonic said. "I just want something to get the blood pumping. Some excitement."

"Yeah, well... while you worry about where to get your next adrenaline fix, let's start cleaning up the village, shall we?" Chris suggested.

"Agreed," said Antoine.

They all broke off to get cleaning.

"So much for the ghost springs," Sticks lamented. "And I really wanted to go."

"Eh, forget about it," Vector told her. "It's probably just some dumb tourist trap anyway."


Great Swamp

Meanwhile, in the Great Swamp of the Mystic Ruins, a group of hikers had tracked sightings of the ghost springs to the lake where Rotor had fought Chaos 4 during the Chaos incident.

"It's gotta be around here somewhere," one hiker said.

"How did you convince me to do this?" the other demanded.

"The ghost springs have been the talk of the news and Internet for weeks. Aren't you the least bit interested?"

"I don't want to end up a ghost story, man."

"Wimp."

They spread out at that. The first hiker approached the lake, seeing no green lights, but catching the sight of a mysterious figure standing in the middle of it.

"What is that...?" he wondered aloud.

He slowly walked forward, stepping on and snapping a twig. The figure perked, turning in his direction.

"Who's there?!"

The hiker screamed, taking off running until he found his friend.

"W-we gotta get outta here!" he exclaimed.

"I told you, man!" his friend shouted. "I told you!"

"Lecture me later! Let's just-!"

At that moment, there was a flash of green light that knocked them both out, leaving them on the ground and drooling. Footsteps approached, the creature emerging from the trees.

"Accursed Drylander idiots," the figure muttered. "I can't go one hour on this Neptune-forsaken dirt clod without someone bothering me. Honestly…" He stepped into the light, revealing the intimidating face and figure of Akhlut the Orca. "Don't they know it's dangerous to be out at night?"


Author's Note:

(1): Mobian Twitter.

(2): Mobian Tumblr.

So, yeah. This was a fun little breather, considering what happened last arc, and what's coming. For what that is... let's just say Sonic is going to learn to be careful what he wishes for.

Please R&R. Until next time!