The rest of that Saturday seemed to quickly go by. The phone rang again with Tom Johnson from Johnson and Sons finances. Not sure if he was a son or not. We scheduled a time also on Monday to discuss the house and will and what was in the bank left for us. Monday was going to be a long one. I already knew it, but at least I would have answers after that. The funeral home also called and we scheduled the funeral for Wednesday. I needed to talk with Tom Johnson about the finances before I could pick out the caskets and stuff, but I already knew we would have to do whatever was cheapest. It's not like we were rolling in cash around here.
Around 3pm Mrs. Matthews stopped by with a huge casserole dish. She was crying right from the get go and kept hugging me. She offered to help with anything and although she couldn't come to the meetings on Monday, she was going to do most of the work for the funeral. I gave her the number for the funeral home and she said she would take care of all of that. I was relieved to have a real adult step in and do at least that part.
She couldn't stay long since she still had work, but said she would be dropping by often and to make sure we all ate. She told Two-Bit to keep a good eye on all of us. Once she left I went to collect the boys for an early dinner. No one really had eaten much, especially Ponyboy.
I walked into mine and Soda's bedroom first. Soda and Steve were on the floor between the two beds playing cards. I told them there was some food and they both just stood up and threw their cards down. That's how I knew they weren't really playing. It was just something to pass the time. I tried to give Soda a smile as he walked by me and he gave a weak grin in return.
I then went to get Ponyboy. I entered his room and Ponyboy was curled up on the bed with Johnny sitting next to him reading a book out loud. "Hey guys. Mrs. Matthews brought a casserole over. Let's all go and eat." Johnny just nodded and started to close the book but Ponyboy sat up "wait! Can we finish this chapter first?" I looked questioning at Johnny and he quickly counted the pages left up. "There's only three more pages left." He told me. I nodded "Ok come out after you're done with that chapter. Don't take too long. I want you to eat" I said, directing my gaze at Ponyboy. He just laid back down though and didn't acknowledge what I said.
I let them be and went back to the kitchen to set the table, but Soda was way ahead of me. "Where's Ponyboy?" He asked, looking concerned. "Him and Johnny just wanted to finish the chapter of the book they were reading. They'll be out in a minute" Soda just nodded and finished setting the table.
The four of us sat down and started dishing up. It was pretty silent around the table. Guess there wasn't that much to say. We were all a little lost in our heads. This wasn't how our meals usually were around the table. We usually didn't all fit, Pony had to sit on Dads lap. It was weird having so much room with the guys here. I kept glancing down the hall, but the boys weren't coming out. They had to have finished at this point though.
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding when I heard the bedroom door open. But only Johnny walked into the kitchen. He seemed real nervous and while looking down at his shoes said "Ponyboy says he's not hungry and doesn't want to come out."
That damn kid! I already told him! I get that he is sad. We all are, but why is he acting like this? Everyone else is pulling themselves together. I quickly pushed my chair back and stood up ready to go drag him in here if I had to. The sudden movement made Soda jump a little.
"Dar let me go get him" Soda asked, but I was already marching down the hallway so Soda just scampered after me. The other boys stayed at the table. I barged into Ponyboy's room and he was still lying curled up on the bed.
"Hey it's time to eat. You haven't eaten all day and were sick all last night. You need to eat. I'm not asking, I'm telling." I probably said it all a little too harshly, but Ponyboy just rolled over and faced the other wall not acknowledging me. The little brat I swear.
Soda took the other approach. He shot me a glare and then jumped onto the bed. He laid his head on Pony's shoulder and tried to get into his face a little as he asked "Why wont you come out and eat with us Pone?" I could see Pony just shrug in response even though I was still in the doorway.
I figured maybe Soda had a better way of going about this, so I shut the door to give us a little privacy and then made my way to sit on the edge of the bed. "Ponyboy you gotta talk to us. You can't just starve yourself and push us out." I tried to say as gently as I could.
He rolled back over and looked at Soda when he responded. "I want Mom's food. She's the best cook ever and I want her dinner" and in that moment my heart broke once again. I could see Sodas did too as tears started to fall. Pony was right. Mom was the best cook and we would never get to eat her food again.
I wanted to start crying right there with them, but I wasn't going to do that anymore so I managed to get a breath and say "Mrs. Matthews made a real good meal out there. Not as good as Mom, but we gotta eat something. Wait! I actually think there are leftovers from the meal Mom made last night if you would rather have that. I'll heat it up for you" Man now I was letting the kid get away with murder. I understood why we all gave into everything for him. It was hard to see the baby in pain.
Soda gave me a grateful smile and I felt good that I had done something right, but Ponyboy just buried his head in Soda's chest and started crying harder. Through his sobs he got out "I just want Mom back." Soda rubbed his back and tried to soothe him and I just sat there awkwardly watching them. What was I supposed to do? All I could get out was a croke of "me too baby. Me too." as I patted his leg.
After a few minutes Soda brightened up and pulled Pony back to look at him. "I just thought of something!" and then he jumped out of bed and ran to the closet. The change seemed to shock Ponyboy and he was now just staring at Soda with curiosity. The tears gone. I have to say I was also curious what Soda was doing as he was throwing clothes and old toys and boxes and so many books out of Pony's closet.
"Ponyboy you really gotta clean up in here. Have you actually read all these books?" he said as he threw more stuff out and continued to dig around. Finally he got a box down from the top shelf and was rummaging around in it and let out a cry of joy. "AH HA!" he shouted and he pulled out Ponyboy's old stuffed bear.
"Mr. Fuzzypants at your service!" he shouted as he came over and climbed back on the bed.
He handed Ponyboy the bear as Pony said "His name is just Mr. Fuzzy. There is no pants to it. You started that but that wasn't ever the name." but he took the bear from Soda regardless and held it close.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Fuzzypants sounds better that's why." Pony just glared at him and I had to chuckle at the whole interaction. I still didn't know the purpose of it all, but it was fun to just watch my brothers be their normal selves for a second.
"Well when you are sad about Mom you can hold Mr. Fuzzypants here. You know he has all Moms stitching from all the times she had to fix him up and it will be like she is here with you." Soda explained. I have to say, Soda was a smart kid. He didn't get enough credit. But when it came to understanding feelings and people there was no one smarter.
Mr. Fuzzy, Pony is right there are no pants on that bear, has been around since Pony's birth. Soda and I picked him out at the hospital gift shop the day Ponyboy was born. He's just a normal brown teddy bear, but over the years that bear has been through the ringer. He is missing an ear and has more stitches than fur at this point. Ponyboy would carry him everywhere and everytime he got ripped, Mom would stitch him back up. One time Soda and Steve decided to play mad scientist on him and had cut him open right down the middle. Ponyboy lost it, but Mom just put the stuffing back in and sewed him right back up. She even sewed a little red heart on the outside saying he just needed heart surgery and now he had so much more love inside of him.
It was that little stitched heart that Ponyboy was tracing with his finger currently. It seemed to be calming him down at least. At 13 and a half, he was for sure too old for a stuffed bear, but if it brought him comfort right now I wasn't going to say anything.
"Come on. Let's all go eat some food savvy?" I said standing up. Both my brothers nodded and started to get off the bed to follow me. Pony was holding the bear and I was a little shocked he was coming out of the room with it since it really wasn't a tuff look, but he was coming out of the room and I wasn't going to make him realize what he was doing and go back into hiding.
I walked into the kitchen first and the guys were all still sitting around the table eating. I glared at all of them, mostly lingering on Steve and growled "not one word" making sure they understood I would kill them if they teased Ponyboy in the slightest. They all gave me a confused look until Soda and Pony came in the room behind me and they saw Pony clutching the bear. Two-Bit broke into a smirk and Steve's eyebrow shot up.
We all sat down at the table and I dished up Ponyboy some food. He was sitting right next to Soda and still tracing the heart stitching, but picked up the fork when I put the plate in front of him. Once I sat down and everyone was actually eating Two-Bit clearly couldn't contain himself anymore and said "I see Mr. Fuzzypants has come back from doing time in whatever prison he has been stowed away in"
Everyone tried to hold back laughter except Ponyboy whose face went bright red. Everyone knew the bear. We had all watched Pony grow up. That's the thing about being the youngest. Everyone knows your life better than you do. You can't hide anything when they were around to witness it all. The bear probably only disappeared a year or two ago anyways.
Even though I knew Soda found it hilarious, he is always firstmost the best brother in the world and shot back "His name is Mr. Fuzzy Two-Bit. He ain't got no pants so get his name right and yeah he has done some hard time, but they let him out on good behavior so I suggest you don't mess with him." and with that the whole table burst into laughter including Ponyboy and I was just grateful that we could still have moments like this.
