We had to sneak into his home last night, and by sneak, I meant that he had to put me on top of the wall surrounding his home, jump over, and reach his arms out to catch me.
Toji decided to introduce me to the man who could help me in the morning.
Because I was dripping with blood, he picked me up and told me he was going to fix me a warm bath so the dried blood could get off my skin.
I trusted him despite the scare he gave me by abruptly picking me up. This is when I noticed how tall he was. The height from the ground made me cling to his dark kimono.
His responses to my questions were short and sharp. I could tell he didn't enjoy taking care of me.
I pouted, watching him fix the traditional bath, 'It's not like he was forced to tell me out.'
"Get in."
Looking at the bath he prepared for me, the scent of herbs and scented salts snuck into my nose, making the steaming water all the more appealing. Unlike other children, I wasn't in opposition to taking a bath. It's not every day a child gets blood on their skin.
Remembering the intricate obi-like knot Mister Toji tied behind me, I turned my back to him, leaning forward and looking back at him as a sign for help. He understood the indication and began to untie the gracefully makeshift obi.
Once it came undone, I spun around to face him and pointed towards the door, hoping he would understand my next indication so I wouldn't have to voice the embarrassing request.
"You're an unsupervised pipsqueak. Get undressed and go in the bath already," he lamented.
"But...I'm a girl. Even though you're helping me, you're still a stranger, Mister Toji."
He scoffed at my response, "Exactly. You're a girl, an underaged girl. You've got nothing I want to look at. Get in the damn bath."
I gasped at his rudeness, "Excuse you!"
"I will if you'll get in," he seemingly complied because he finally turned around.
Swiftly taking this chance, I lifted the shirt over my head, pulled my hair up, and ran to jump into the bath. The soothing hot water relieved a soreness I hadn't noticed before.
Sinking the rest of my body into the water, I sighed at the water working its magic to cleanse me of the aches, blood, cuts, and dirt clinging to me. The scratches stung a little, but not so much as to make me cry. Ever since I could remember, I've had the "special gift" of a high pain tolerance and Papa took me to the doctor when I was just ten months old, but nothing wrong was found. It was only last year when I was five, that I began to get into fights over broken friendships, and with each slap, each punch got easier to endure.
'Maybe the pain tolerance is related to the cursed world. I wouldn't be surprised if it was,' I thought, moving to the edge of the bath and placing my long hair over the raised wooden, yet polished, floorboard.
"What's that about?" Mister Toji asked me, staring at my hair. I assumed he faced me again once he heard me sink into the water.
"My hair...?"
He nodded, walking to sit on the opposite edge of the bath, assorting some other herbs and bath salts. I noticed he was fiddling with some string and another fabric I didn't recognize.
"Well...my hair is different."
"How so," he tonelessly asked.
"I'm mixed."
"With?"
It was interesting how he suddenly became interested in something I didn't think he would care about.
"African American. My mama was African American and my papa is Japanese."
"..." His gaze flickered up from the bowl of herbs he was meshing, "Was?"
I slowly nodded, feeling guilt in the pit of my full belly, "She...passed away after giving birth to me."
"..." He sighed, "Sorry I asked."
"It's okay. I don't get sad anymore, but I still wish it had been me instead of her. She made Papa really happy...and I ruined his happiness." I bit my bottom lip, "Now that I know that a world like this exists...everyone in my neighborhood who doesn't like me might be right. I might be cursed and I should've never been born."
"...It was your mother and father's choice to have you. There's no reason to blame yourself. You're a child and you didn't ask to be born. Don't take on troublesome responsibilities if you weren't involved in them," he advised before dumping the bowl of herbs in the bath. "If your father thought you were a nuisance, he would've left you in foster care, or worse, on the street."
I got suspicious and defensive, "How are you so sure he didn't change his mind? I don't remember anything before you found me. What I woke up to might've been the result of him leaving me for dead."
He sucked his teeth at me, "You act mature, but it's obvious you still have a child's mentality. If your father would've left you on the street for dead, you would old bruises and scars on your body, you wouldn't have the same light in yours eyes when you asked about him and your brother. You would've had the same look in your eyes as mine."
A momentary silence settled over us. The small ripples in the water didn't interrupt it either. I stared into this stranger's eyes. He wasn't lying and had no ill intentions with what he said. Another "special gift" of mine is being able to tell if someone is lying...it's become easier to recognize due to all my friends who've ended our friendships over my ability. I wonder if their parents told them to do it or if they had such a strong cognition to do it themselves.
I'd respect them more if it were the latter, but I highly doubt it because children follow everything their parents say and do. Papa taught me and Jin the same, but he also taught us to recognize when the parents are wrong, ask why, attempt to correct the behavior, and come to an approved conclusion. Papa said parents are bigger children, navigating the arithmetic problem called "parenthood". It's not the same with each child because each has a new letter or number.
"I'll...take your word for it," I accepted. "What did you mean by "the same look in your eyes as mine"? Do you have problems with your parents?"
He rolled his eyes, "What does it matter?"
"I only find it right to help the person who's helping me," I answered.
He chuckled, "It's a little too late for that, kid. I'm an adult and once you become that, everything you've experienced in your childhood is an irreversible curse."
"...so you're saying you can only apply in life what you learned in your childhood?"
He stood, "Yep, it's as simple as that," he huffed, walking in my direction with something wrapped around his wrist.
I was about to turn my head in his direction, but his big hands cupped each side and faced it back to where he was previously sitting. I heard a loud plop behind me, startling me by the sound.
"Don't move," he announced, and then I felt my hair pulled back in gentle waves. "Tch, why is your hair so damn thick? It doesn't help that it's long either. Why'd your old man let it grow this much?"
"Papa told me that mama said, "because it's the roots to the motherland, it's coarse and protects our people from the extreme sunlight". When she first arrived in Japan, she'd return the dirty looks to Japanese people who stared at her for too long. When she met Papa, she no longer had to do it because he did it for her. As for my hair length, Papa told me that mama said, "It's my crown. Wear it proudly". I honor her by doing so."
"Hmph..."
"Mister Toji...?"
He chuckled, "You got good morals, Yokai. Your mother sounds like a strongheaded woman. She'd give my family one hell of a time..."
I hummed at the concept, not in acceptance or denial, but just a way to acknowledge what he said. I figured I shouldn't tell him what to do with his family.
"Mister Toji, I have a question."
"Just ask."
"Can you use cursed energy?"
"Sorry to burst your bubble, kid, but no. It's why I brought you here so someone else can help you," he answered, doing one last tie in my hair before rubbing back the stray curls in front of my face behind my ears. "Why ya ask?"
"I was hoping you could so you would teach me. You're not like most adults, smoke and mirrors. I prefer to be taught honestly and truthfully. I-I have another question, too! Is it possible for cursed energy to be passed down in family lines?"
"It is...unless you get what I got."
"That is?"
"I can see cursed spirits, but I can't use energy or techniques because of a binding vow called Heavenly Restriction. It's placed on the body when you're born. In exchange for doing all the fancy magic, I have heightened senses and I'm stronger than the average human. You goin' somewhere with this, Yokai?"
I nodded, "Mm. Now that I know this information... Do you think my father has or mother had cursed energy? Is that why I can see curses? What if I have an "Heavenly Restriction" like you do? Do you think that explains why I have a high pain tolerance or why I always win a fight? Is it voluntary or does it just happen at birth?"
He groaned, "I don't know, kid. Like I said, that's why I brought you here so you can get your answers. I'm not too involved in jujutsu sorcery."
I turned around in the water, staring at him, "I'll settle for what you say...for now. However, if I get no satisfaction with what this clan head, I'm relying on you to guide me."
His expression changed into disbelief and his eyes narrowed, "I didn't ask for this."
I giggled, "You should've minded your business in that alley and I wouldn't have been in your care. Now, hand me the sponge, please."
I've already been looked down upon by my neighbors thanks to my ability, but never have I been given such looks when I walked through the gates to what Toji called Hell.
Just because he said that I wasn't scared and wondered if I should be. I wasn't scared of the beings after I turned four, just two years ago. They didn't harm me and I think their only intention is to scare me or make me nervous. I thought them to be...boogeymen...if they were even men with how they looked.
"What's the meaning of this, Toji?"
All the men in the room didn't look happy to see Mister Toji, and no happier to see me standing behind the tall man.
"Found her on the street, covered in a curse's blood."
The older man's intense gaze landed on me to which I hid behind Mister Toji. I...didn't like the older man's eyes.
"I thought you grew out of the habit of bringing home strays. At this big age, you should know better."
Mister Toji didn't reply. He only sighed, it's as if making a rebuttal was a waste of breath.
"Girl, what is your name," the man demanded.
"My name is Roma Itadori."
"She's not from any clan I know of with that last name," another older man spoke, sounding...disapproving.
"Toji, the girl is not only from a clan, but she possesses an insignificant amount of cursed energy. Put her back where you found her," he brushed us off, turning his back.
"B-But sir, please-"
"You dare speak back to my father, you ungrateful wench," said a young boy sitting on a fancy black cushion.
Out of all the males in this room, he was staring at me with deep hatred l, yet he didn't know anything about me.
"...Well, that's how people communicate, right?" I asked, unsure of what his reply meant.
"Now you've done it, kid," Mister Toji grumbled.
He looked surprised at my response, then anger replaced that. He was about to stand until the old man who turned his back sat him back down.
"Calm down, Naoya. You need to control that temper of yours. Toji. Give me one reason why I should help this girl."
"Listen old man, this girl killed a cursed spirit with her bare hands."
He turned his head to give Mister Toji a mediocre stare, "And? Even you could do that with a cursed weapon."
"That curse was embedded in a human girl."
"..."
I suppose this was news to the older man because he didn't say anything immediately. He faced us again with a look of disbelief.
"It was a special grade, something familiar in the books, but that thing was...it didn't look like your typical special grade."
"...so what does it matter?" he questioned.
I raised my hand, catching the old man's attention.
"I don't know if this means anything...but I ate it."
There was a moment of silence. What I said was probably something that had never occurred, judging from the expressions of the five males present except Mister Toji.
"I don't remember anything before Mister Toji found me. I just remember being hungry and I'm...still kinda am."
"...Toji."
"She's not lying."
"But I don't understand!" Another younger boy shouted parallel to the angry boy. "How could someone like her take out a special grade when she has so little cursed energy? Are you sure she's not just a special grade cursed in disguise?"
"Why would on flock to the Gates of Hell if she were?" a muscular man with long hair questioned.
I started to get frustrated and irritated with the situation. No one was giving me proper answers or information on how to control this power.
I stomped my foot to get the men's attention, "If none of you will help me, I'm leaving!" I turned to Mister Toji and bowed my head, "Thank you for trying to help me, but I think I'll be better off dealing with the bullies at my school."
I was about to begin my long walk home...until I was stopped by a hand grabbing my own.
Looking over my right shoulder, I was met with a fist coming straight to my face. The impact was so hard that I stumbled back and fell on my back.
I curled into a ball, caressing my nose that I'm sure I felt something warm and runny sliding down past my lip and the taste of iron dripped onto my tongue.
I didn't scream, I didn't cry, I didn't squirm in pain because...because...
The pain was brief. As soon as it had come,
"You think you can just enter the Zen'in clan's headquarters, run your mouth, and leave when you feel like it. You women have some nerve, acting like an animal when in the presence of men who are far more
I pushed myself off the tatami mat, looking at the pool of red drip from my nostrils. I'm sure my nose was broken, and I still didn't feel the pain. Then again...
"Naoya, I told you to calm down," the older man reprimanded him.
"I couldn't help it, father. She's a girl. She's already less than. She has no right to speak so freely or leave so freely...even if Toji did pick her off the street like a piece of trash."
Outraged by what I heard, I dug my nails into the mat and stood up on my feet, a little disoriented by how "Naoya"'s punch knocked me off my feet.
"Listen, bucko. I tried to be cordial and respectful. All I've gotten in return...is a bunch of insolent men yappin'." I turned around, poker face on display.
"Know your place, girl," the other older man told me.
I kept a straight face, "..."
"Naoya" gave a smug smile, "Looks like she finally-"
"There were some wise words my Papa once said to a man who instigated a situation and ended up getting the first hit in on Papa. He said..."
I raised my hands in front of me and balled them into fists, scratching my nails into my skin.
"You hit like a bitch. I was gonna let you go...but now I gotta beat yo' ass," I recited his words in a flat tone. "Forget "cursed energy" and forget "cursed technique". Instead of sneakin' me like a "bitch", let's run the ones—so make a move."
A quiet I disregarded spread across the room. I was only focused on the boy who put his hands on me, ready for him to try to hit me again.
The thought of a woman fighting back seems incomprehensible to these males. "Naoya" appeared to be shocked, the middle-aged man raised his brow in interest, the sitting middle-aged man kept a calm face, the muscular man rested his chin on his palm with a grin on his face, the elderly man's grin stretched to something unsettling, and Mister Toji-
"Hmm..heh...heheh..."
We all turned our attention to the tall man chuckling, it wasn't long before his chuckles turned into booming laughter. Is it what I said that made him laugh or the whole situation?
"For once, I'll use this lousy title. You're doing better than I thought, Yokai. So, Naobito, you don't have to accept or teach her anything..." Mister Toji put his hand on my head, ruffling my curly hair, then gently rubbed my hair back to look at my face. "Because she'll be..in...my...care..."
His words died on his tongue as swiped my hair to the side, assessing the blood and damage to my face. I didn't think a broken nose would phase him...or any of the men.
"That's...impossible," the middle-aged man known as "Naobito" mumbled.
"She shouldn't be able to heal so quickly, if a all. What game are you playing, dog?" Naoya disputed, unhappy about something.
"Such little cursed energy...but she has the power to kill and eat a special grade as well as use reverse cursed technique," the muscular man noted.
I caught onto the words "reverse cured technique" and "heal" so I touched my nose again, feeling around it and discovering that...it was back in place. I moved my hand away to see no more fresh blood, only the dried stains.
I frowned, "...It's something everyday with this body, another something I'll have to hide from my family," I mumbled.
"No, you will not have to hide anything from your family...because we are your new family, girl," Naobito announced.
"Excuse me?" I asked with disbelief in my tone.
"You will not be returning to your family until we figure out who...or what you are. You've piqued my interest, girl. You appear to know next to nothing about cursed energy nor the principles of the jujutsu world. You have a little amount to the point I'd think you're like my nephew, Toji. Yet, your body performs a reverse cursed technique. I doubt you know how to use that or cursed technique. You've also taken down a special grade cursed spirit at such a young age and you consumed it. You appear to be a normal human little girl, but your actions and words are mature. I am unable to determine if you're a threat; therefore, you are now property of the Zen'in clan until I figure out what to do with you."
I weighed my options despite the man not giving me any, "..."
"I assume you're complacent with the terms and conditions by your silence. If anything, I'm sparing your loved ones of potential trouble they won't understand, deem you a threat, and will ostracize you from society."
"That's a sick joke," Mister Toji commented.
Naobito glared at the smug tall man before returning his attention to me, "You're no longer called Itadori. It is now Zen'in."
I glanced around the room at each person, 'No matter how much I deny and fight, I won't be able to take them all on so I have no choice but to accept the situation...' My gaze fell on Mister Toji for a while, then I smiled at him; his reaction was a stupor. 'But who says I can't manipulate it...?'
My stare snapped back to Naobito, accessing the emotion displayed in his eyes, "Sir, with all due...whatever kind of respect you deserve, you don't have to lie to me just because I'm a child...or rather, a female. I'm not your typical, gullible, "normal" human. Please, for your best interest, do not assume I will not know when you are lying to me. I know I will not return to my family and...maybe...that's for the best. All I ever did was cause them trouble. I accept your terms and conditions."
"Maybe if Naoya didn't punch her and if Naobito give her answers, she would've been more compliant," the muscular man droned at the mistakes of the two.
"Shut up, Jinichi," Naoya spat.
"For my best interest", you say. What will you do? You hardly know anything about jujutsu," Naobito disregarded the other two, focusing on me.
'I don't have to do anything. My body does things to benefit me so if I catch you lying to me again...I'm sure my body won't hesitate to act like a "cursed weapon". It's best if I stay quiet though. I want to mess with them a little, I want them to speculate and be cautious...because if they don't, there's no doubt someone will put their hands on me again. Once that happens, there's no telling what will happen to my assailant.'
So with those simple thoughts, I only closed my eyes and smiled.
"She thinks she can harm you, Naobito. Please, let this insolent girl know that is impossible. I'm sure she couldn't defeat Toji even if she did know how to control cursed energy," the elderly man chuckled.
"No need," Mister Toji spoke. "Like I said, I'm using my lousy family title. She'll be in my care. Besides, I don't imagine any of you would want to look after a "restricted" brat."
"It's only suitable that the one who found her is responsible for her, Naobito," the sitting middle-aged man advised.
He looked bothered by the decision, "Do whatever you please, but she will not be leaving the premises."
I wondered why Mister Toji vouched to take care of me. I was under the impression he thought I was a nuisance and that he wanted to get off his hands. If I questioned him about it later, he would probably try to brush it off...
I shrugged, 'It is what is.'
"Excuse me..Miss?"
"..."
The maid, who guided me to my new living space, didn't speak to me at all. I wanted to see if I could get some answers out of her.
"What do you know about the Zen'in family?"
"..."
"Their ideas are questionable, but are they good people?"
"..."
"Why aren't you speaking to me?"
"..."
I grew bored of this one-sided conversation, "Are you not speaking because you were told not to?"
"..."
"I see. You're enslaved."
The maid stopped walking. I thought she was about to turn around and confront me, but she turned towards a pair of shoji. She slid them open and took a step back for me to enter.
My eyes remained on her until I shifted them to the interior of the tatami room. I was expecting a prison format thanks to my behavior and misdemeanor earlier, but I got the exact opposite. It was a room filled with valuable decor and fancy furniture, and there were three other shoji leading into different rooms.
I entered the room, looking at the intricate decor, 'Trying to appease me won't make me look at this family differently. I know all too well how a person treats you one way, then a heinously other way to get what they want.'
"Miss Taiga, do you need anything?" the maid finally spoke.
I looked over my left shoulder to see her on her knees, bowing her head low to the floor. Her kimono overcast her body, she looked like she didn't fill it in. I noticed her cheekbones were hollow earlier, I could tell she hadn't gotten enough to eat...
I went along with what she said, "Yes, please. Could you bring me something savory to eat? I have a large appetite so could it be a lot? I'd appreciate it," I told her nicely.
She nodded her head, I almost thought she hit it against the floor, "As you wish, Miss."
It was only when she closed the shoji and left that I acknowledged the name she had called me earlier. 'Taiga...? Why did she call me that? That's not my name...unless...'
You're no longer called Itadori. It is now Zen'in.
I sucked my teeth at the insult, 'So not only did he just change my surname, but also my first name? Does he want me to completely forget who I am? Or is that just a derogatory dig at my personality?'
To pass the time, I slid the first shoji open and poked my head around the room, identifying it as a bathroom with a toilet, sink, and shower. I went to the second shoji right next to the first and did the same, realizing it was a closet full of traditional clothes. I was disturbed by how they looked like they were in my size.
'Don't they work fast...' I droned in my thoughts.
"Miss Taiga. I've returned with what you requested. May I enter?"
"Yes."
'They work fast indeed. I know for a fact that they don't cater to females so easily so they are trying to appease me, like I'm a threat. They should know better by reading their textbooks. The appeasement tactic didn't work in a previous war...what makes them it would work with a child? If parents didn't exist, there'd be catastrophe and mayhem.'
The slender maid slid open the shoji, turning to grab the wooden tray of various foods and placing it inside the room.
"Is there anything else I can do for you, Miss Taiga?"
I nodded my head despite her inability to see with her lowered head, "Mhm. Could you bring the food to the table, please?"
Like a robot, she did as I asked. I felt bad for the poor woman. It made me wonder what else had been asked...or forced upon her before I arrived. The possibilities disgusted me.
She set the tray on the small circular wooden table, where two pink zabutons were placed on each side. I finally moved away from the closet and over to where she stood. I sat on the zabuton she faced, grabbing a pair of chopsticks and a bowl filled with rice.
"What else-"
"Sit," I told her, gesturing to the zabuton next to her with my chopsticks after taking a bite of rice.
I thought she would've denied it at my request, but again, she followed without question.
"Miss Taiga?" she questioned with an uncertain gaze.
"Now," I said after swallowing a lump of rice and smiling, "Eat to your heart's conent."
"..." She looked like she was trying to understand my request or that maybe this was a deceiving act. "Miss...I appreciate your kindness, but I am not allowed to consume food and beverages in your presence."
"Are you assigned to tend to me?"
She nodded, "Yes, I-"
"Are you my permanent handmaid?"
"I-I am, but-"
"Then, for as long as I am here, you will be healthy. I don't like seeing others suffer when they don't have to. Now that I know you have a voice, I want you to express your opinions and advise me for what to do and what not to do. Please...eat."
"..." The handmaid was hesitant. With the look in her eyes, she appeared to be weighing her options, it's like her life was on the line from the simple appeal. "They would...punish me if they found out."
"And if they do, remind yourself of what I said earlier. "I don't like seeing others suffer when they don't have to", and "express your opinions", which includes who and what hurts you. You're the only other female, that I know I can trust, I've seen around here so I need to keep you safe."
She eventually gave in, "...Yes, Miss Taiga," she said, taking the other pair of chopsticks and getting a bowl of chicken with noodles underneath. "Thank you...for the food..."
"Call her "Roma"," announced a figure outside of the shoji.
The handmaid could only get a bite in before whipping her head around with fear, "M-Master Toji?!"
My eyes lit up when I heard his voice: "Mister Toji! I was wondering where you went off to. Don't say you're gonna take me under your wing and then disappear."
"I needed to do something. I wasn't even gone for an hour," he sighed, sitting down between the shoji and leaning his back against the left side. "You're getting comfortable just fine without me."
I shrugged, "Being afraid won't get me anywhere besides under someone's thumb so I might as well get comfortable."
"Smart girl. Hey, maid," he called to the trembling woman. "I don't care about what orders she gives ya. But I do care that if ya hurt or betray my pupil in any way, I-"
"Won't do anything," I cut him off, leaning over to rest my hand on top of her shaking one. "Mister Toji, the poor woman is already scared of your family. Don't threaten her. Now that I think about it...what's your name?"
"Sa...Sasaki."
"Just a surname?"
She nodded, "That's what I've been called my whole life."
I scowled, but not at her. 'Has she been serving the Zen'in since she was born? Did her parents give her up or did something happen to them? I feel bad for her...'
"I'm sorry to hear that...Maybe we should come up with a name...?"
"Yokai, what is the first thing I taught you?"
I glanced at the stern Mister Toji, "You said..."Getting to know someone's name is the start of forming a bond...so don't make me regret this." Mister Toji, you're contradicting yourself. You took me into your care anyway. Why?"
"It's better than leaving you on the street for dead," he huffed, looking away from me and out to the zen garden.
"I understand and I appreciate your generosity, but that doesn't answer my question. It's better for me, not you. My death wouldn't make a difference to you if you would've kept just walking."
"...I don't know."
My posture straightened, "What?"
"I said, "I don't know." Okay? I don't what made me do what I did. Just be happy that I did."
"...I'll be complacent with your answer...for now. I will ask you again in the future so you should find an answer." My attention returned to the curious Sasaki; she looked as if she had opened up more and her face flushed with color, revealing her warm nature. "I see you now."
"I'm...sorry?"
"You had such a dull face... I bet that chicken tasted good. Please, eat more."
Surprisingly, Sasaki didn't hesitate and dug into the bowl like it was her last meal. I smiled at her eagerness, hoping she wouldn't choke from how fast she was eating.
"Yokai, you eat, too," Mister Toji told me.
"I am," I affirmed, taking another bite of rice. "Oh! Where's my manners? Thank you for the food," I touched my fingertips in a quick prayer while still holding the bowl and digging in myself.
In my peripherals, I noticed Mister Toji sat in silence as he watched us eat together. He didn't necessarily look lonely, but more like he was left out. I would've invited him over to eat with us, but I doubt he'd move to join us so I continued to eat.
I leaned over to grab other entrees such as tamagoyaki, tako sausage, onigiri, and natto. For a strange and mean family, their servers make the best food I've ever had.
My gaze flickered up to Mister Toji who still watched us, 'They probably have no choice but to make anything less than.'
I swallowed the natto, "You know, my Papa taught me it was improper to stare at someone while they're eating."
He sucked his teeth and looked back outside, "Your father sure did teach you a lot at such a young age. How old are you anyway?"
"I'm six, I'll be seven in June. Oh! I almost forgot, Sasaki...I think I've come up with a perfect first name for you. How about...Saki? Saki Sasaki?"
"Sa...ki...?" She pondered on the name for a while, testing the name. "I..." She bowed her head to me, "Thank you, Miss. I like the name."
"Good, I'm happy that you do," I said with a smile.
Saki took the initiative to continue eating, seeming less fearful of Mister Toji being present in the room. I wonder if it's because he doesn't care about what she does like he said or if she's gotten comfortable with me around.
"Yokai."
My eyes snapped to the slouching dark-haired mass, "Could you please stop calling me that?"
"I call you what I want...pupil."
"You just acknowledged my name as "Roma". What's so wrong with continuing to call me that?"
"Would you prefer me to call you "Brat"? Because that's what you're starting to act like."
I huffed at his stubbornness and backed off, "Whatever..."
"Before you interrupted me, I was going to say you better prepare yourself. I'm the least fit Zen'in to train anyone so you better not die on me from overexertion," he told me.
"Mister Toji, you're talking to a person who fed on a curse...I don't think whatever training you have in store for me will kill me. I've heard "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"."
"Keep that same attitude when you're breathing for air," he chuckled.
"Excuse me, Miss Tai-...I mean, Miss Roma, if you don't mind me asking, what is your favorite food?"
I pondered for a bit, "My favorite food...? Hmm, well I like-"
The thought of that "cursed spirit" I found myself munching on came to mind. The thought should've been distasteful, I should've lost my appetite and regurgitated...
But I wasn't disgusted at all. If anything, I got a little more starved...
'Obviously, it's not normal for a human to eat another human; it's also not normal for a human to eat something that's different from an animal. I'm either not what I appear to be and I don't know it...or I'm eating curses is a cursed technique. I was never the average child, I'm mature for my age, and I understand complicated situations and words. The Jujutsu world might be my only answer to "What am I"?'
"Miss Roma...?"
My gaze raised to a worried Saki, "...Oh...well...a rice bowl with noodles and meat on top. Exactly what we're eating," I answered.
"I will keep that in mind for the future," she replied with a nod of her head.
'Three meals a day just doesn't cut it anymore...'
I didn't have any ill intentions towards her, but I needed to lull her into a false sense of security. The only way for me to understand Roma Itadori is if she thinks I'm nonhostile towards her.
I want to understand her, yet I don't know why I brought her along nor why I decided to train her myself. Maybe I'll get my answers if I keep an eye on her and learn more about her.
I didn't feel comfortable lying on my side so I turned to lie on my back on the futon, groaning at the tension being released in my back and shoulders. The crickets outside were loud, but it wasn't so annoying that I couldn't fall asleep. For the remainder of the day, I watched over her and only answered questions she asked to the best of my ability. Lying to her would give her trust issues and she'd probably try to escape so I gave her honest answers.
'I don't think there's much I'll gain from looking into her background. I doubt her father or brother knew anything about sorcery based on her upbringing and their reactions to the curses she described. Her mother is a no-go lead...but she could be the reason to why Yokai is the way she is. She suggested that her mother could've been a sorcerer, but I'll never know for sure. It's not like sorcerers can casually talk about curses in a social setting. That's a dead lead, too...'
My eyes felt heavy, I was starting to feel sleep trying to take me over. I decided to leave the thoughts of what to do with Roma Itadori tomorrow. I yawned, finally closing my eyes, and succumbing to sleep.
Sleep...
Sleep...
Sleep...
Sleep...
Sleep...yes...sleep.
I felt fingers gliding through my hair and heard the hum of a melody. I wanted to move up and away from this person, yet I couldn't move, I couldn't open my mouth or eyes. My best option was to access my surroundings. My head rested on something firm and soft; the fingers petting my hair were pudgy, long fingers; the voice sounded like a female; long whispy hair brushed against my cheek, I guessed this person was lurching over me.
Sleep, my strong man...Replenish your strength.
'Is this some sort of curse in the form of a hag? What the hell is Naobito trying to pull? This one's stronger than normal...'
The woman's fingers stopped. I felt something off smooshing against the side of my cheek, maybe a stomach. I also felt this "woman" getting closer, her face was inches from mine.
That's where you're wrong, for I am the weakest.
My eyes shot open and I moved my hand out to grab the woman's neck...
Though no one was there, just the brown ceiling and my hand gripping around nothing. I glanced around me, finding myself back in my room. It was daylight and the birds were chirping. I deadpanned...
'...Am I horny?'
"Master Toji. Are you awake?" I heard the handmaid, now named "Saki" call from outside my door.
I sat up, stretching my limbs, "Yeah. Whaddya want?"
"It's urgent, sir. Miss Ro...Miss Taiga. She's missing."
With a jump, it only took one step to open the shoji, revealing the worried and feeble woman. Her worry and contained panic morphed into fear as I glared down at her.
"What do you mean "she's missing"?"
She pressed her head to the cherry wood floorboards, "I was serving Miss Taiga her breakfast until Master Naoya burst in her quarters and he..."
"He what?"
"He dragged Miss Taiga out of the room by her hair to that lair of curses! The very same one you were put in, sir! He said he wanted to see if she can handle herself against three special grade curses and-"
I was long gone when Saki said "by her hair". I could only hear her some hallways down because she was frantic and loud. For whoever's sake, I hope she isn't punished. I'm unsure what the Yokai is capable of or if she's calling Naobito's bluff, but I don't think she'll let someone getting hurt slide, especially if she cares about them.
'But because she's my pupil, the blame would come back and be pinned on me... Whatever. S'not like the Yokai barged into Naoya's room and caused trouble.
When I arrived at the pit, I expected to find an injured or dead body, blood splattered on the floor or walls, and entrails lying across the room.
And that I did find...but it wasn't the Yokai or Naoya's.
Naoya stood on the opposite end of the room, looking down at the chubby girl feast on what I assumed was an amalgamation of special-grade curses.
Yokai was covered in red and purple blood again. Judging from the platters of blood around her, I assumed she tore something out to make it look like bloody rainfall occurred.
She didn't acknowledge Naoya or my presence. I'm uncertain if she knew we were there or if we made any sudden movements, she would know.
I don't know about her well enough to know if she'd eat humans, too. Since she's a curse user, then she shouldn't...but even I can't count on that knowledge. She might have a cursed spirit's ability to eat humans so I still have to be cautious.
"Toji," Naoya called and I looked at his disgusted face, but it wasn't at me. "I don't know what you see in this girl to take her in under your wing. The only thing special about her is that she can eat curses and consume their energy. How will she benefit your current situation?"
"I didn't pick her up off the street to benefit my situation. I just came across her and I didn't want her to die, that's it."
"So you aren't void of kindness..." mumbled the Yokai.
I redirected my gaze to her. She had lifted her head from the carnage. I noticed her pupils engulfed the brown, it only left the ring of white fuzz bleeding into the white of her corneas, and her nails were sharp like a beast.
"So you're still cognitive, huh? What an interesting specimen you've found, Toji. Maybe she can become the Zen'in family pet." He chuckled, "I feed you to the dogs, but instead, you ate them. Maybe you really are the top dog..."
She dropped the flesh she was munching on, redirecting her gaze to Naoya.
"...If I am a dog...then it's only right I am loyal to my master...and when he dies, I'll be sure to make his corpse doesn't go to waste," she calmly explained.
Naoya appeared disturbed by her insinuation and was most likely about to counter her statement with a low blow, but her abrupt stance stopped him, making him flinch back.
The next thing I know she's in front of me, staring up at me with a charmed expression.
"But you're not my master, he is," she concluded, pushing her into my legs...like a puppy wanting to be pet. "And though we've known each other for only a night and a half, I'll never betray him."
I huffed a chuckle at her words, "Bold words to say to a stranger, Yokai. How do you know I won't just leave you to fend for yourself?"
"You won't," her answer came out muffled against my blue cotton kimono. "I won't let you."
"Hypothetically speaking, if I do...?" I challenged her, becoming interested in her responses.
She looked up at me with an unreadable look, then turned her head to look at seething Naoya.
"I'm a dog, remember? I'll just sniff you out."
I don't like bonds and that's a fact...but this girl was trying her hardest to make my value a lie. I didn't care for her to go along with Naoya and refer to herself as a dog. This isn't good. It's bad for both of our health. I didn't want to start caring nor did I want her to get attached to someone like me. I need to leave as soon as possible.
"What is the meaning of this, Toji...Naoya?" I heard Naobito approaching from behind, followed by someone else.
"I wanted to see how capable our new family mutt was...I underestimated her," he summarized, sounding disappointed.
"Son..." Naobito called with an annoyed sigh. "I'm aware of your admiration for Toji, but you don't have to pin the blame on yourself for his sake."
I deadpanned again, 'Of course he wouldn't believe the boy.'
Naoya smirked, "Or rather...I think I overestimated her. I'm not lying by the way. Taiga is weak. She got lucky. Had that cursed sunk it's teeth into her while swallowing her, she wouldn't have eaten her way out of it. She's nothin' special, father. All Taiga knows how to do is feed on whatever is given to her."
Judging from the sinister smirk on his face, Naoya really has it out for Yokai. I guess he doesn't want the spotlight taken off of him...which means I'll have to protect her.
My eyebrows creased, 'Protect her? The fuck am I thinkin'? Since when did I wanna do that shit?'
If there is any god, it's being cruel to my destiny. There's nothing more I hate than contradicting what I believe in.
"If you want me to die, just say so," Yokai spoke up, letting go of my kimono and facing Naoya from across the pit. "I understand that I'm less than, and since I am, treat me as if I don't exist. It'd be better for both parties. The only person I'll inconvenience is Mister Toji..."
As reassuring as that might've been to Naobito and...Ogi, I'm aware it only made Naoya angry. The kid has a weird obsession with being the strongest jujutsu sorcerer in the clan...and with me. I never acknowledged it so as not to make the boy let power get to his head.
"Is that all...?"
No one said anything, I didn't have anything to say. What could I say to her? "Behave"? This child is not a child...
I glanced at Naobito and Ogi, 'And they don't need to know that.'
"Then, I'll be taking my leave," Yokai walked past me and the two men.
"There's so much blood..." she mumbled, flicking blood splatters on the wooden floors; it's not like it would've helped.
"Toji..." Ogi called.
"What?" I droned.
"Get your mutt under control," he huffed, immediately leaving afterward.
'...I don't think she'd listen, smartass.'
I opened my eyes, sighing at the tenth attempt to fall asleep. No matter how many sheep counted or quieted my mind, I didn't feel any exhaustion. I felt exhilaration if anything.
Sitting up in my futon, I directed my gaze toward the moon for a while, enjoying the soft moonlight peering through the crack of the shoji. It ran along the tatami mats leading to my pillow. I slid my hand underneath it and grabbed the "object".
Holding it above me in the moonlight, I observed it again, not disgusted when I should be. No odor emitted from the disgusting thing which made me wonder how it survived this long.
'Maybe that curse didn't finish decomposing you...' I assumed, bringing it closer and grazing my fingers over it.
The flesh was marred, old, dark red while the unnaturally sharp and long nail was black, a piece of worn cloth hung loosely from around the limb. It had some sort of distorted writing that I couldn't decipher because it was tattered and missing pieces.
"I hope the death was quick and painless..."
An overwhelming sense of dread came over me and I felt my heartbeat quicken, skipping a beat in the process. A cold sweat formed on the back of my neck and my forehead, my breath was shortened, and I felt uncomfortable in the pit of my stomach. It didn't feel like hunger, but a stomach bug.
'Why do I feel so...sick...' My gaze flickered to the finger in my hand so I put it back under my pillow. The feeling didn't go away, but it did lessen, 'Okay, I won't pity you then...'
An abrupt drowsiness replaced the sick feeling so I laid down and closed my eyes, hoping to fall into the darkness sleep.
Is this Hell?
Is this what awaits me if I dive deeper into this world?
What does it matter? I've been damned since the moment I was born.
Why...why was I born? What makes two individuals have the desire to procreate? I don't understand it. All that awaits is the harsh lessons they'd have to teach that seed they're so eager to raise and mold.
Some people are "good" and some people are "evil"...and both sides don't tell themselves they're "good" or a "necessary evil".
Since when was it justified to bring a new person into this messed-up world? Why would you want your cherub to suffer the cruelty of this world, the consequences of the actions they'll make in the future?
Though I am one myself, I don't understand humans. They never know what path they'll walk down, yet try to survive every day with the odds that are stacked against them. They never know what life they'll be born into...from poverty, to war, to famine, to epidemics, to death. What is this desire to continue living despite the odds? Despite the bad people in power trying to tear them down?
Why do the bad people who are more fortunate prosper more than the good people with the most average or less fortunate lives who can do little to nothing about it?
Some say it's unfair and try to do something about it, facing unnecessary consequences. Others say "Cry about it", "That's life", and take whatever's given to them.
As a human being myself, I say..."fuck that". I refuse to live a life based on how others perceive it or tell me what to do. There's a system people see and many don't see, they think conforming to the ideals of others is a simple way to get by and to live. No...I refuse. There's no such thing as gold at the end of the rainbow or a shooting star. A person to work to make their dreams come true. Whether they harm others or not, depends on them.
The world is a cruel place; of course, the people in power are trying to find ways to scrape every inch the planet can offer or "move" to different planets. It's laughable and ironic, really...the people who destroyed their homes are now trying to search for a new planet to destroy because they don't want to die. How the cycle continues...is interesting because no one wants to experience death. It happens to all living organisms.
Death, huh... It's an ethereal concept, majestic and lovely. Who wouldn't want to die? Of course, no one wants to die a gruesome and unfathomable death...but at least they won't feel the impact if it happens that quickly. The notion of not fulfilling your necessities and desires is also an understandable point.
Something pulls at me just thinking about... It's as if I have to do many things before I leave...but what or who will I be leaving...?
Many think of Hell as roaring fire and brimstone. No, I like to think of it as dark and quiet. Nothing drives a person more insane than darkness and silence, right? Well...I prefer it.
As for Heaven?
A hand reached from behind me and covered my mouth, my body froze in fear at the unknown visitor.
"We are past thinking of such foolish beliefs."
When I spun on my feet to see my captor, I didn't expect to see a worried Saki. Her gaze was full of worry and fright. Her hand was reaching out towards to probably...probably...
I sat up, analyzing my surroundings. I was back in my room and lying in my futon. I pat my right hand over my mouth, not feeling anything so I raised my hand up to touch my forehead. I was breaking out in a cold sweat and I was panting like I just ran a marathon.
"M...Miss Taiga? Were you...having a bad dream?"
"...I don't know," I hoarsed. "Could you...get me some water, please?"
She bowed her head, "Of course, ma'am!"
Saki rushed out of the room, but she didn't forget to close the shoji behind her...which I'm grateful she did. Looking around my room again, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
My left hand slipped under the pillow to feel for that finger I found in that cursed spirit...
I gasped when I didn't grab onto anything. Swiftly, I turned around and swatted the pillow to the side, not finding anything but more cotton on the futon. Staggering to stand, I flipped my blanket away, there was nothing. I flipped over my futon with one foot and still found nothing.
"Where did it go...?"
"Where did what go?" a voice outside of my room asked.
I looked up, seeing Mister Toji standing in the doorway with an indifferent look...or that's how he appeared as he looked me over.
"Mister Toji..." I mumbled. "I think..." I rest my head in my hands, slowly shaking it. "I think I...just had my...first nightmare...that really scared me."
"Start getting used to them because from here on out, it's gonna be nothin' but nightmare fuel, kid."
I didn't say anything in response because I understood his intention. Sounding somewhat annoyed or bothered by my lack of response, I heard his weight hit the floor so I looked up to make sure he was okay.
He was sitting criss-cross on the floor, he was holding his left hand out to me, but he wasn't looking me in the eyes. It's as if he was offering some form of comfort, but didn't want to get too close.
Eye contact is a form of showing someone you care about them...which is why he was probably avoiding it with me so he doesn't become attached.
Regardless of knowing his intentions, I walked towards him and put my tiny hand in his large one. With a gentle tug, I found myself sitting on his lap and he wrapped his left arm around me while the right patted my head in a not so gentle manner.
"It wasn't real so...don't start crying."
I smiled at his forced attempt at amenity, "I haven't cried so far..."
"Good."
Mister Toji was a...big and scary man with just one look at him. He didn't look like the friendly and inviting type, far from it. I can't help but wonder why he's forcing himself to be kind to me though. He was what I think people call... "a gentle giant" at least to me, but has a jarring way of showing it.
I didn't mind at all. He was nice enough to pick me off the street, guide me, and care for me. The warmth of his body nearly made me feel like lulling to sleep again, I felt...safe and protected. It reminded me of how Papa would hold my older brother and me close during a thunderstorm; little did either of them know, I only acted scared so Jin wouldn't feel left out. I've only known the man for three nights, yet he hasn't done anything to make me feel like I need to run away...or return home.
I jumped at the thought, 'Not return home? What am I thinking? I have to. Papa and Jin must be worried sick about me. I know everyone in our neighborhood could give less of a damn about me...but I'm essential in their lives. Though I want this...I can't do it just yet, I have to know more about my capabilities so I can live a normal life in Sendai.'
"What's wrong now?"
"I just had a scary thought," I brushed it off with a shake of my head.
"Spit it out. You'll only be paranoid if ya don't."
This was the moment when I discovered that I could bend people to my will...
"Do you think...Heaven is a place I can reach?"
Mister Toji didn't react for a while, he just stopped patting my head. I raised my head to see his expression. He was staring down at me with a frown, perplexity mixed with dark blue eyes.
"Why are ya thinking about somethin' like that?"
...And they accept whatever I tell them.
"Mister Toji, please, take responsibility. You've no one to blame but yourself for reeling me into this world. I will continue to have these thoughts for as long as I live. Regardless of my age, topics like these will come about so I might as well be informed now rather than later. The sting will hurt less in the future."
"Alright, smartass. Since you wanna opinion so bad, take this with a grain of salt. You're more likely to reach Heaven than I would."
I giggled, "Even though you're under a "Heavenly Restriction"? Do you think you have not been blessed?"
"It doesn't work that way, Yokai," he groaned at my intentionally nonsensical words, gaining more giggles from me.
"Now that I feel better..." I turned more in his embrace and grabbed his blue haori, pushing myself up on my thighs to barely reach his chin. "What will you be teaching me today, Mister-...Master Toji?"
He visibly flinched at my new name for him, "That's been buggin' me for a while, and don't start callin' me "Master". Just Toji is fine."
"Alright, "Toji"," I appeased him. "What will I learn today?"
He smirked, "Let's play hide and seek."
A/N
The doors, known as shoji, are made from translucent paper fixed over a light frame of wood that also holds together a lattice made either from bamboo or also from wood.
Tatami is a rush-covered straw mat forming a traditional Japanese floor covering.
"Yokai" is a Japanese word that refers to a broad range of supernatural beings and mysterious phenomena, including ghosts, demons, monsters, shapeshifters, and tricksters. The word is derived from two kanji characters: yō, which can mean "attractive," "bewitching," or "calamity," and kai, which can mean "mystery" or "wonder".
I've read that the name "Taiga" can mean a lot of definitions depending on what kanji is used so I decided to go with one that fits Roma's character and is a degrading meaning to the Zen'in. "Taiga" means "plump germ" in Japanese. It not only refers to her being a big child and a dig at her manners, but it also refers to her "hunger habit".
Naoya is a character I think who will find any way to put down a woman no matter how good they are at what they do or prove him wrong in situations so I will keep his character like that in this story. As for Toji...when Toji said he didn't know why he took Roma into his care, it's because I don't know why yet, lmao. I'm the type of writer who doesn't plan everything out, just a general storyline until I find a reason for why characters do the things they do. It's also fun because it leaves room for new ideas, concepts, and details to explore later in my stories.
Aside from the chapter elements, I want to discuss the pacing of this story. Because JJK is a fast-paced series and doesn't linger on trivial or nonimportant concepts like a slice of life, I will keep that pacing in my story, but I will also focus on those trivial matters because they're essential to the plot I have laid out (and because I'm still coping). I have nothing else to say so...have a good day/night.
