AN: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or any of its characters.
English is not my first language, still, I hope you enjoy this little piece.
Feel free to leave a review. Thank you for reading.
Feelings like the Weather
Unstable. Icy. Thunderous.
The weather was sunny.
Only a mild breeze in the air. Actually, it was kind of warm – a stark contrast from the feelings inside the boy's body and heart.
After the initial shock that Cell had not only blown up himself but also King Kai's planet with all its meekly inhabitants including his father had worn off, the sudden and short-lived euphoria about the monster's defeat set in.
It had been an ecstatic feeling; marvellous, addicting, even a bit overwhelming. All those strenuous hours, days and weeks in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber had paid off in the end. Visibly, the heavy burden to fight and be successful had been lifted off Gohan's small yet broad shoulders. A boy could only do so much after all.
They had all been saved. Mirai Trunks was brought back to life, and after plenty of food and beverages went back in his time machine and off to the future, ready to destroy those nasty androids once and for all. No doubt, he'd finish off these tin cans with ease.
Everything had gone back to normal.
Except for the thunderstorm in Son Gohan's heart.
Days, weeks, and months had passed since he had defeated the monster, and Hercule Satan had been proclaimed earth's hero, reality had inevitably sunk in.
Arriving at the conclusion that this time his dad would not come back from the dead, that he wouldn't magically appear out of thin air via instant transmission, had brought the boy to his proverbial knees. Goku was gone.
Gohan had roared loudly and sworn like a sailor, even worse. The demi-Saiyan had cursed every deity he knew of. Even poor Dende had ended up in his rants. Raw emotions combined with inhumanly strength bottled up in a young boy's body were bound to explode at one point.
Such anger – even whilst fighting Cell, Gohan had never encountered such hatred in his entire life. It was mind-boggling. Who all that anger and burning rage had been directed to, was beyond the boy. Surely, his father clearly went for pole position in this particular race, but he himself wasn't far off either.
He had felt abandoned by Goku. And that weighed the boy down way more than he could have imagined.
His father was a hero for all intents and purposes. The Saiyan had saved earth and the universe on numerous occasions. He had put anyone and anything before his own needs, his safety, his own life. Protecting others was his priority. Even him, Gohan, when he got way to cocky and arrogant, when he thought that he could play and defeat Cell easily. Goku had to step in to save his son from the monster and his inevitable death by the hands of a mad scientific experiment. Something Gohan would never forget.
After all, if it hadn't been for Gohan's hybris, his father would have still been alive and kicking, at home with his family, happily munching away the enormous banquet his wife dished out for them every single day. If it wasn't for him, his dad would still be by his side. The shame that Gohan felt whenever he thought back was nearly unbearable.
Goku was a hero: a defeater of monsters, earth's protector, befriender of former evil aliens and humans.
And yet, to Gohan all the full-blooded Saiyan ever had to be, was his dad.
He wanted his dad back. The boy wanted to see that goofy smile, hear that boisterous laughter, and feel his father's warm and comforting aura surrounding him. He wanted the hand back that ruffled through his unruly hair, and he wanted to complain to his dad about it. Gohan needed him, desperately so. Now more than ever.
Goku's never diminishing optimism despite all odds had always put the boy's restless mind at ease. Even though his naivety occasionally drove his mother insane, more than not, the strong arms of the Saiyan and his reassuring hugs would calm her down like nothing else on this planet could. A safe haven.
That was no more, and it was Gohan's fault to a certain extend.
Cold. Empty. Numb.
Acceptance has settled in.
It had taken the boy a while, but Gohan understood that his father wasn't coming back. He was gone for good, somewhere in the afterlife, at a place he would not be visiting anytime soon. The feeling of betrayal had vanished. Nor did he feel like he was robbed off chances, gestures, or opportunities anymore. Gohan had decided: he was no longer a baby. Wimpy and pathetic feelings, as Vegeta had put it oh so nicely, Gohan needed to get rid of them in order to move forward with his life.
Speaking of said baby, Chichi would sooner rather than later give birth to another one. And he, Gohan, would become a big brother then. Since his father had chosen to stay absent, the boy had to step up for his younger sibling and his mother.
The demi-Saiyan was strong. So strong in fact that he was probably the strongest being on this planet. He could become a hero himself, stepping out of his father's overwhelmingly large shadow. No, Gohan would do right by his family, that he swore to himself and silently to his mother and younger sibling. Saving the world once needed to be enough. He had fulfilled his task; he had done well by the world. Now his family had to come first. If he had learned anything from his father's death, this would have been it.
Warm. Giddy. Excited.
The past was in the past, simple as that. And the weather right at this very moment was so nice and cosy. He couldn't wait to finally meet the youngest member of the Son family.
There was no big brother-role model he could take as a reference. He didn't know any. Well, just Raditz, but the sorry excuse of a big brother did not count in Gohan's book. Thus, he had to learn from scratch. Which was a good thing though. The birth of his younger sibling would ring in a new era and a new chapter in Gohan's life.
The Saiyan inside of Gohan swore to protect and fight for his relatives. But the human side felt an even stronger pull: to love and cherish his family.
