A/N: Good morning. Especially to those people on this side of the timezone who woke up to watch a football game that ended up being the best that team has played...and it was still relatively not great. Why do people play on penalties? Why?
Whatever, England play tonight so Imma pin my hopes on them and the DELIGHTFUL Sarina Wiegman.

In the meantime, ya gotta break it down to build it up. Don't let anyone ever tell you adulting with real trauma is easy. Enjoy.

-0-

Hermione woke during the wee hours of the morning and sighed against Minerva's shoulder. When she realised that sleep was not going to be more forthcoming, she groaned and then slipped off the sofa and scooped Minerva up in her arms. She understood why they'd settled there. After so long, a bed that was theirs seemed to have such connotations behind it that it was unsurprising when Minerva got up from the table, and tugged on her hand to follow her into the living room. A place of neutral ground.

But now Hermione knew her woman needed her sleep in a comfortable bed.

Minerva stirred in her arms as she was moved, but Hermione soothed her whimpers and tucked her into bed. The sheets were so soft, she couldn't help but wonder at the private life of Filius Flitwick. He truly was a dark horse.

She watched Minerva settle for a little while and rubbed her thumb over her forehead to soothe the frown. Evidently Minerva had not been exaggerating. She clearly hadn't been sleeping well so Hermione stayed for as long as she could before heading to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and got in the shower, smiling to herself at the hot water and the darkness that seemed to comfort her during the night. She washed her hair and used some of Minerva's soap after she realised she'd left it there. She was midway to rinsing her body when she realised that this was their home.

They could leave everything here if they wanted to.

Because this was their home.

She smiled as she rinsed off her hair and felt the moment her smile faltered. Something was terribly wrong and she slapped off the water and stuck her head out of the door.

"HERMIONE!"

She didn't even grab a towel, she simply ran from the bathroom into the bedroom as fast as she could.

Minerva was thrashing about on the bed, her hands were ablaze and Hermione simply leapt on the bed and captured them so they didn't set fire to the covers. She yanked those same covers off and pulled Minerva into her lap. She realised quite quickly that the woman was not breathing and the panic that stole into Hermione's heart was greater than anything she'd ever felt before.

"MINERVA!"

She sobbed as Minerva suddenly drew a deep and shaky breath.

"Easy," Hermione whispered. "Easy, Min. I have you. Everything is okay."

Minerva came to with a cry and she clutched at Hermione's shoulders as she sobbed.

"Hermione! Mo gaol. Na fàg mi. Feuch nach fàg thu mi." [My love. Don't leave me. Please don't leave me.]

"Minerva," Hermione muttered. "Come back to me. I'm here, it's okay."

She felt her back itch and she breathed out as something settled on her. Her wings flared out and wrapped around them, covering them in a soft, silver light.

"Minerva," she said again, cupping the woman's face. "Minerva, look at me." Bloodshot eyes found hers and she smiled, even as tears ran down her face. "Hey," she whispered. "I'm here."

Those beautiful green eyes stared at her until a flash of recognition and Minerva burst into tears. She scrambled up and wrapped her arms and then her legs around Hermione's torso where she held on for dear life.

"Easy," Hermione said again. "I'm here, everything is fine."

Her wings settled behind her, flattening out to accommodate her position but Hermione wasn't going to move. She rocked Minerva back and forth with her hand on her head until she remembered she was stark naked and probably still sopping wet.

As Minerva was already damp with sweat, Hermione leaned forward and pulled the covers up over Minerva's sweat-soaked back. She winced as her wings bent in the wrong direction and realised that if her empathy could be turned off with a thought then perhaps so could they.

She concentrated on the same feeling she used for her empathy and moved her fingers like she was playing a scale on a piano. Immediately they disappeared and she settled against the headboard.

"Min?" she said gently. "Minerva? Are you with me?"

"Chaill mi thu. Phut thu air falbh mi agus chaill mi thu." [I lost you. You pushed me away and I lost you]

"Minerva?" Hermione said, with just a touch of a growl in her voice. Minerva jumped a little and her eyes cleared. "Hey beautiful, are you with me?"

"I -" Minerva shivered and tightened her grip. She pressed her head into Hermione's neck and Hermione relished the feeling. "Bloody hell, I think I was stuck in my nightmare."

"I think so too," Hermione said gently. She rocked them gently. "Are you awake now?"

"I think so," she whispered. "Her -"

"It's okay," Hermione breathed out warmth over them and Minerva snuggled closer. "I was so scared," she said finally. "I'm pretty sure you stopped breathing."

"I think I used to do that as a child," Minerva muttered. "Will would know. I couldn't breathe. You died," she sobbed against Hermione's neck. "You pushed me away to protect me but then you -"

"I'm right here," Hermione promised. "I'm not dead."

"Some days," Minerva cried. "Some days you feel like a dream."

"I'm not a dream, Min." Hermione promised. She immediately saw that Minerva was still fighting and she cupped Minerva's cheeks. "Hey!" She shook her gently and Minerva gasped for air. "I am alive. I am right here. And I am in love with you. Tha gaol agam ort, my love. You and me."

Minerva finally looked around.

"I -"

"Minerva McGonagall," Hermione said gently. "Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts and a badarse Transfiguration Master to boot. You are at home with me. We are alive. We are here, together. We own this place, remember? You and me, love."

"Oh." Minerva shuddered again. "I'm here," she whispered.

Hermione cupped her cheeks and looked into her eyes.

"Min?"

"I really am. I'm awake."

"Oh thank the gods," Hermione sighed as she pulled her back in. "I wasn't sure how to wake you without making it worse. We probably need to talk about that at some point." She winced.

Minerva finally pulled away and realised that Hermione was naked.

"Are you -" she blinked and looked away. "I -"

"Don't go getting any ideas," Hermione chuckled. Minerva spluttered indignantly. "I woke up and took a shower. You screamed for me and well," she shrugged. "Here I am."

"Oh darling, I am so sorry."

"I'm not," Hermione laughed. "I was mostly done. You needed me."

"I -" she sighed. "I should have mentioned the nightmares." She was so sad that Hermione's eyes filled with tears. "I should have warned you. I had hoped you would just know."

"Let's get settled, alright?" Hermione said softly. "Why don't you change? I have a whole pile of t-shirts in my bag; you're more than welcome to them. I'm going to make us a cuppa."

"You don't have to -"

"I need a moment," Hermione admitted. "And you need to change. I'll only be gone as long as it takes for the kettle to boil. Alright?"

Minerva nodded and Hermione kissed her head.

"It's okay," Hermione reassured the both of them. "Everything is alright now."

Hermione slipped out of bed and pulled on Minerva's robe that was hanging on the back of the bathroom door. She helped Minerva out of bed, then left her to get changed while she made tea. She stared out over their land and considered what she'd put Minerva through and how it was affecting her. Her heart broke for her love and she sighed as she realised she hadn't even poured the water in. Shaking it off, she did what she had set out to do and carried them back into the bedroom.

Minerva was curled up against the headboard, hugging her knees and Hermione sighed as she put down the teas.

"Come here," she whispered as she got into bed.

Minerva shook her head and remained curled up so Hermione went to her. She slid her legs either side of her and pulled her into her arms. She tapped her fingers on Minerva's arm, like she was playing a piano scale, and her wings wrapped around them as well.

"I've got you," she whispered. She kissed Minerva's shoulder and let her lips rest on the skin as they breathed in the dark.

"I -" Minerva cleared her throat. "My actions caused the death of my baby brother."

Hermione sighed into her love's hair and readjusted her grip.

"I recognise you reworded that to what you were going to say," she said softly. "But if the thought remains, then the words don't really matter. You know that, right?"

"Then yes, I killed my brother."

"No you didn't," Hermione challenged softly. "If I know anything about you, Minerva McGonagall, I know that."

"I went to a war I had no business going to. He -"

"You did, though, you went to war?"

"I -"

"Did you take him with you?"

Minerva threw off her hands and spun with fire in her eyes.

"How dare you."

"Did you?" Hermione challenged again, knowing it was working. Her wings fluttered behind her like fallen leaves. "Did you take him to battle with you?"

"I would not have -"

"Then how did you kill him, Min? How?"

"I didn't look after him!"

She took a big shuddering breath and Hermione eased forward. Minerva was on her knees, absolutely prepared to escape if Hermione didn't make sure she was in grabbing distance.

"Min?" Hermione whispered. "I will tell you what you told Albus. You were not your brother's keeper. You were not his mother. You were, are, his big sister. However your relationship was, that is an undeniable truth."

"He -"

"He followed you because he undoubtedly thought you were the most incredible witch he'd ever seen. I bet he was so proud to break all the rules and follow his big sister into battle. Sometimes," she whispered. "We are at our best when we are young, and sometimes we are at our worst. Robert's death was not your fault and his death is not for you to carry like that. You told Albus the same thing, why is it so hard to take your own advice?"

"Because it was MY FAULT!"

"Min," she sighed. "Come here."

"My nightmares," she sobbed as she curled into Hermione's body. "They're you. And then they're Rab and they're constant. Over and over and over. You're dead, then he is."

Hermione immediately understood and rocked them gently, holding Minerva like a child.

"Take a deep breath with me," Hermione whispered.

To Minerva's credit, she gave Hermione a withering look, but then did as she was asked. Hermione ran her hand up and down her back until she let it out and then kissed her temple.

"I need you to hear me." Minerva blinked at her. "We are going to be put in some horrendous situations before this is over. We're going to have to fight, tooth and nail until the end. And people -" She swallowed the sob that she wanted to utter. "May not make it to the end." Minerva shook her head but Hermione placed her finger over her lips for the moment so she could finish. "I know you know this, but they may not. But," she whispered. "I am going to do everything in my considerable power to make sure that doesn't happen, okay?" Minerva nodded. "Together, we are going to be so formidable that the enemy will tremble when they know we're there. And at the end of it, we may have to bury some friends. People we love. Not because we failed, or because it is our fault. Because sometimes, in war, that is what happens. Robert," Hermione hesitated as Minerva's blood-shot eyes looked up at her. "Rab's death was not on you. If I know anything in all the world, Minerva, I know that. Because I know this." She pressed her hand on Minerva's chest. "I know your heart and soul. And I can bet every single moment of my existence that when you saw him, you dropped everything and tried to get to him."

There was a steady stream of tears down Minerva's cheeks and Hermione did her best to wipe them away as she pulled her in. Minerva sobbed against her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around her and held on. Hermione didn't speak again, instead, holding her love until she fell quiet.

"You died for me," Minerva whispered sadly. She let it sit before her face hardened. "And I have never been more angry with you."

Hermione took it on the chin and met her eyes.

"I did do that," Hermione agreed. "I am so sorry that I have caused all this hurt and turmoil. I hate that it has hurt you two-fold. Once in the moment and more, in your dreams. But," she whispered. "I would do so again, Min."

"You will not -"

"I would," Hermione nodded. "You know I would." Minerva glared at her. "Imagine if it was me, Min. If I was duelling with two assholes, twice my size and some sneaky bastard sent a spell at me from where I had no hope of seeing. What would you have done?"

Minerva looked away and when she looked back there were flames dancing in her eyes.

"I would have killed him."

Hermione's heart broke as she recalled.

"I did do that, Min," she sighed. Minerva gaped. "I just had to find the right part of me to be able to do so. And that part of me is here." She motioned between them and Minerva sat up a little.

They sat in silence while Minerva examined her hands.

"You are sure that you -"

"He tried to kill you," Hermione whispered. "I didn't even think. I don't even know that it was an actual spell."

Minerva nodded and tentatively reached forward to join their hands. They both sighed and Minerva traced her hands. Hermione tried to smile but struggled under the weight of her memories.

"I need you to promise me you will never push me away again."

"I can't," Hermione shrugged. "I told you, I'm not ever going to let anyone touch you."

"And I tol' you, lassie," Minerva said, sounding a lot more like herself than she had done since she woke. She got back to her knees and turned. "That if I'h'm t' die, I'll do so beside yeh. Don't you dare make me a widow ag'in." That fire dancing in Minerva's eyes flared but Hermione could see the pain there, too. "Don't you dare."

Hermione rolled her shoulder and felt the sheer conviction in Minerva, under the sadness and pain she could see as plainly as anything. She knew, no matter the cost, she would grant Minerva this wish.

"Alright, love. I promise."

"You do?" she asked seriously. "If you -"

"I promise," Hermione repeated as she cupped the woman's cheek. "And I love you."

"Oh mo chridhe," Minerva gasped. "I love you so much, I do not know what to do or what to say. If you -" Minerva shuddered and pressed her face against Hermione's heart. "Bhàsaich mi agus fios agam gu robh barrachd gaol agam ort na rud sam bith san t-saoghal seo."

"Minerva -" Hermione groaned. She refused for a while before Hermione cupped her cheek. "There is nothing you can say that I do not want to hear."

"I would die knowing that I loved you more than anything in this world."

Hermione kissed her hard and Minerva curled her arms around Hermione's head to keep her there. She did not think about where or why they were there, nor what was supposed to be happening, Hermione kissed her until they pulled away panting. Minerva's eyes were fiery again and she went back in for more. Hermione pulled at Minerva's borrowed clothes until she was bare. She didn't even take the time to notice them before she finally got the woman free of them. She ran her tongue along Minerva's shoulder and bit down without consideration where her shoulder joined her neck.

"Gods," Minerva gasped.

She arched while her fingers dug into Hermione's back. They rolled over and over as each of them tried to lead until Hermione grabbed both Minerva's hands and pinned them above her head. The groan Minerva uttered made Hermione's stomach clench and it jolted something inside her. They stared at each other, breathing hard until Hermione came back to herself. She immediately let go of Minerva's hands and slid off her body, but Minerva wasn't having it. Strong legs captured her and held her there while they stared.

"I don't want -"

"Not -" Hermione interrupted, without making her say it. "Not like that."

"No," Minerva whispered. "Not like that."

Both of them blushed as they realised they were bare but Minerva's hands reached for her hesitantly. Hermione held still as Minerva traced a hand over her stomach, between her breasts and up over her scars. She checked with a look whether she was allowed to touch and Hermione nodded, powerless to stop her.

The skin was sensitive as Minerva pressed her hand against it and they both gasped as it shimmered and lit up the dark room. Minerva slid her hands around Hermione's ribs and drew her back, pulling her back on to her chest where she let her body rest with a quiet sigh.

"Stay with me?" Minerva asked.

"Always," Hermione nodded. "Want me to put some -"

"No," she whispered. "Not this time."

"Okay," Hermione nodded. Her heart was thumping madly in her chest and she did not really know what to do about any of it. "If I hurt -"

"You didn't. You won't," Minerva whispered. "You love me. You would not."

"I wouldn't," Hermione agreed. "I just -."

"Sleep," Minerva muttered. "Sleep, mo gaol. Chì mi thu nam aislingean." [I will see you in my dreams.]

Hermione picked her head up and watched Minerva's eyes close and she laid back down, curling around Minerva as best she could and holding her tight. She fell asleep with the knowledge that next time they found themselves in this position, they would not be stopping.