Nolan's Journal Chapter 1

"I always have trouble sleeping when Bailey is on duty at night. Before our honeymoon, I was using the time to plan Simone's garage renovation and other contracting jobs. Simone has delayed the contract for now. Her unit is in flux, and she's not sure where she's going to end up. None of the other contracts is complicated. It's mostly the kind of thing I did for Angela, cleaning up after Wesley's DIY attempts. So I've decided to put my thoughts in a journal.

"It's not the first time I've put my feelings on paper. It was one way I could cope during Henry's surgeries when he was a baby. It helped me to be strong for my son and Sarah – or I hoped it did. If nothing else, it helped me document my research about the Tetralogy of Fallot. It also gave me a place to put my pain as Sarah and I grew apart.

"My life with Bailey is different in so many ways than my marriage to Sarah was. For one thing, Bailey and I are together because we want to be, not because of a pregnancy. I would never wish that Henry hadn't been conceived. Through the most challenging times with my son, he was still the major joy in my life. I have no idea how I could have gotten through conflicts with Sarah and business disasters without him. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to stand up for me at my wedding to Bailey.

"Still, Henry is a man now, with his own ideas about what to do with his life and support from Ben to do it. Sometimes it still scares the hell out of me to have him trotting around the world, even if the medics say the problem with his heart is finally fixed. However, he seems to have settled in Japan, where he can get excellent care if he needs it.

"Henry and Abigail did break up. His surgery and recovery proved too much for her to handle. Of course, that was traumatic for him – both of them. But it's best the breakup happened before they took the plunge into marriage. After the way Bailey showed up at my door in a towel, I suspect that Henry may find his soulmate when he least expects it. And when he does, I will celebrate his happiness."

"Despite all the misadventures with the wedding and our honeymoon, I'm still ecstatic to be married to Bailey. She's on her first shift back to work. I'll be getting back to training Celina tomorrow. Harper returned to working as a detective. She and Lopez make Cagney and Lacy look like wimps. So in my absence, Celina has been training with Tim Bradford. From what I've heard so far, he hasn't changed much since he was Lucy's TO. He's still a hardass, which may be a diplomatic way of saying cruel. I managed to make sure Celina always knows where she is without making her get out and walk. I'm not big on what Lucy described as Tim tests either. Aaron told me that I was his favorite TO because I teach by asking questions. That was great to hear. I ask Celina a lot of them, although her answers can still be a little weird. But working with Harper taught me that a strong strain of superstition of one kind or another runs in cops. I suspect it might be some kind of subconscious warning system. That has been the case with Celina a couple of times.

"She and Bailey see eye to eye on banishing as many bad vibes, spirits, or whatever they want to call them as possible. After what happened with our wedding and our honeymoon, I'll take all the help we can get. I'm also a fan of anything that will help keep Bailey safe. Right now, I can't imagine what I'd do without her.

"Aaron still won't be back to full duty tomorrow, which means we'll still be a little short-handed. However, news, especially unpleasant news, travels fast. So I know that Lucy is only #17 on the detective's exam. She'll be on patrol for a while until she figures out what she wants to do with her career. I suppose that, in a way, she did it to herself. Going behind Bradford's back to set up a complicated situation that allowed him to go to Metro made her a bad enemy in Primm. Unfortunately, he was an examiner for her orals. But Bradford didn't help. He went out on patrol with her, but when she forgot to check the sprinklers on a crime scene, he didn't tell her. Maybe he saw it as a teaching moment. But it was also bad police work. It allowed the evidence to be destroyed. Lucy got the perp anyway, but it was a black mark against her that gave Primm something he could work with. It should be a black mark against Bradford too. He was senior on the scene, even if Lucy was taking point. He should have controlled the situation. Those two are both distracted when they work with each other.

"Bishop warned Lucy and me a long time ago about the dangers of cops sleeping together. That's why I broke up with her. While she isn't theoretically in Tim's chain of command any more than she was in mine, as long as they work together, there's a potential problem. I have no idea why Grey hasn't intervened. Maybe he expects them to work it out on their own. If Bradford would just stay with Metro, it wouldn't be a problem. They could always get a new liaison. Or now that being a detective seems to be off the table, Lucy could find a path that doesn't put her with Bradford all day. Either way, they need to take care of the situation soon – before someone gets killed.

"I know it's too soon, but I'm already fantasizing about a second honeymoon. As much fun as island adventures could be without dead bodies, I'm thinking more along the lines of a luxury hotel, maybe with a private hot tub. When Bailey and I can build up some vacation again, I'm planning to ask Aaron for advice. He seems to know about all the lush retreats in the world. Sometimes I wonder how many of them his family owns. Anyway, it will take another year to put enough off-days together.

"Right now I need to concentrate on getting my head back into the game on the streets. The community center where James has his business has done a lot to keep the kids out of trouble down there. I'm wondering if Celina might want to work on something similar in the neighborhood where she grew up. Given that it turned out it was a cop who took her sister and the other kidnapped children, trust levels for the LAPD are not exactly high in the area. I can't say that I blame them. But Celina could be a force to help turn things around. So, unless we get calls that interfere, I think we'll develop as much of a presence as possible. If nothing else, it will be a start at convincing people that the LAPD isn't just covering its ass. We really care what happens to the people there as much as any other place in the city. And I'm betting that Celina knows the best places to get lunch.

"I feel like I've wound down enough to get some sleep now. I hope so. I suspect that I'm going to need it."