Chapter 11

While some may live by the tired cliche that one shouldn't judge a book by its cover, Blair knew that her instincts were rarely wrong. She didn't need to spend time getting to know someone to gauge whether or not that person was worth her time. But she had to admit to herself that she'd grossly misjudged Beckett Wilder during their first encounter. He was funny and charismatic, smug yet charming. He was the very definition of a southern gentleman, pulling out her chair and holding open doors for her. He seemed to be content letting her guide their conversation, but he responded to each of her questions enthusiastically and honestly.

Four hours and several drinks later, they sat in the back of his town car outside of her penthouse. Her head was floating but not from the alcohol. It had been years since she'd felt this giddy feeling bubbling in her stomach.

Blair's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. She felt the weight of Beckett's gaze on her, his eyes filled with an intensity that made her heart race. She had been alone for so long, yearning for connection, yet fearing it at the same time.

Reaching across the seat, he brushed an errant curl away from her face. "I had a great time tonight, Blair," he murmured, low and sultry.

A mixture of arousal and anticipation swirled in her stomach. She lowered her eyelashes coyly. "Who says that the night is over?"

A small smirk played at the corner of his mouth. "Why Miss Waldorf, what are you suggesting?"

She couldn't help the shy smile that spread over her lips. This was the point where she had to decide whether or not she wanted to invite this handsome stranger upstairs. Part of her yearned for sex; it'd been far too long since she'd felt a man's touch. Another very small part of her questioned her motives. She'd never been opposed to sex on the first date if it felt right, but perhaps she was rushing into something with Beckett to quiet her mind.

As if he sensed her hesitation, he leaned closer, cupping her cheek. She leaned into his touch, and he brought his mouth to hers. A low whimper shuttered through her as he deepened the kiss. His lips were soft and gentle, but he pulled away far too soon for her liking.

"Do you want -" she started.

Before she could ask the question, he cut her off with another kiss. "Goodnight, Blair."

She smiled, an odd mixture of relief and disappointment flooding her as she said, "Goodnight, Beckett."

XOXO

Weeks later, Blair stood in the fitting area of the atelier, clutching a clipboard to her chest. She ran her fingers along the silk bodice of a deep purple dress hanging on the rack in front of her. She tried to focus on the purpose of today's meeting, but she couldn't keep her mind from wandering while Caroline's shadow danced over the ceiling as the model shimmied into the final gown from inside the changing room. Her thoughts carried her back to weeks earlier when she'd told Chuck that it was time to leave the past in the past. His reputation superficially painted him as a stoic, hardhearted man, one incapable of articulating real emotions, but she could always read his eyes – the dark depths that told her exactly what he was thinking even when his words were silent. His eyes had been soft and haunted when she'd walked away.

The door opened, and Caroline stepped out, the emerald gown flowing beautifully around her lithe frame. Just as Blair had suspected, the dress fit her like a glove, complimenting her sun-kissed skin and auburn hair. Caroline was a gorgeous woman, but the ethereal nature of her beauty nearly rendered Blair speechless. She mentally scolded herself for falling back into the trappings of her youth – the pesky little voice in the back of her mind that tried to trick her into thinking herself somehow inferior to tall Amazonian women with bright smiles and effortless sex appeal.

Blair stepped forward, circling Caroline, examining each and every inch of the garment. She pulled at the neckline, adjusting the cleavage before setting a pair of strappy heels in front of Caroline. She stepped back again taking in the entire image in front of her. After several moments of silence, she lowered herself onto the suede couch behind her and made a few notes about possible hairstyles, an adjustment to the height of the split, and some jewelry options.

The silence grew thick between the two women, and Caroline, perhaps sensing the tension, tried to fill the void, much to Blair's annoyance.

"I'm really excited for the show," she said brightly, her eyes following the rapid movements of Blair's pen against the clipboard. "The dresses are stunning."

"Thanks," Blair mumbled. "You can change now."

Caroline stepped down from the podium but before she returned to the changing room, she said, "I know you went to the Empire a few weeks ago to see Chuck while I was in California."

The pen in Blair's hand clattered on the hardwood, and she scrambled to recover it with trembling hands. The room suddenly felt far too small, and there wasn't enough oxygen for both of them to breathe. Did she hear Caroline right? Was there a hidden accusation in her voice? On that note, did Blair actually have something to feel guilty about?

"I don't know what –" Blair refused to make eye contact as she struggled to find the words that would end this conversation before she said something to make Chuck hate her for the rest of her life.

"You don't need to lie to me, Blair," Caroline said, the calm, cool tone forcing Blair to meet her eyes for the first time in several minutes. The smile on the redhead's lips fiercely unnerved Blair. "I sweet-talked Gerald into showing me the video footage. He's still bitter that your lifetime ban was lifted after you tried to manipulate him a few months ago."

Blair rose to her feet, standing toe-to-toe with the other woman, her stance communicating far more confidence than she felt with her heart pounding against her chest. "Yes, I was there," Blair admitted with a sweet smirk. "I was there to talk to my friend about some unresolved business from our past. It wasn't nefarious nor was Chuck disloyal to you in any way. If you want the details, you'll have to take it up with your fiancé. It isn't my place."

To Caroline's credit, she didn't falter when she took a step toward the fitting room. "I'm not spying on Chuck, Blair. He and I have already talked. I trust him fully and completely. I'm just letting you know that, while I'm happy that you are back in Chuck's life as friends, there are boundaries in place. You and I have a working relationship; you and Chuck have a past. As long as everyone knows their place, there won't be any problems."

She closed the door before Blair could respond. Blair closed her eyes, counting slowly backwards from ten to regain her composure. Her mind was swimming. Part of her was deeply offended and outraged by Caroline's audacity to approach her with such insinuations, but part of her still felt knots of uneasiness curled tightly around her stomach. She had nothing to feel guilty for, but, somehow, she felt like she was navigating a landmine every time she interacted with Chuck. Even in his absence, his presence loomed large in Blair's mind.

Blair took a deep breath, willing her hands to stop trembling as she focused on the notes in front of her. She was scribbling furiously when the fitting room door creaked open, and Caroline stepped out, now back in her casual clothes.

Caroline approached her with a smile that Blair found unsettlingly genuine. "Are you coming to our engagement party this weekend?"

Blair forced a smile, hoping it didn't look as strained as it felt. Surely she had heard wrong. "What?"

"We're having our engagement party Saturday, and I'd love for you to come," Caroline said, her tone cheerful but her eyes studying Blair's reaction carefully. "It wouldn't feel right without you there. After all, you're an important part of Chuck's life and mine too, now that we work together. Honestly," she added, "Chuck was the one who brought up inviting you, so I assumed he'd already mentioned it."

"Um, I haven't talked to Chuck since…." She shook her head, trying desperately to clear her mind. The thought of attending their engagement party was like salt in a wound, but she couldn't find a valid reason to refuse. "Of course, I'd be honored to come," she replied, her voice trembling slightly.

"Great! And feel free to bring a plus one," Caroline added, her smile widening. "I'm sure you wouldn't want to come alone."

Blair nodded, her mind trying to keep up with her racing heart. Beckett. The thought of bringing him to the party hadn't crossed her mind until now, but it made perfect sense. Not only would it give her a buffer, but it would also signal to Caroline—and to herself—that she was moving on.

"Thank you, Caroline. I'll do that," Blair said, a hint of confidence returning to her tone.

Caroline's expression softened, and she reached out to squeeze Blair's hand. "I'm really glad you're going to be there, Blair. It means a lot to both of us."

Blair managed a nod, surveying the model's face for any hidden intentions. She knew that Caroline wasn't a pushover, but she couldn't reconcile her sweet demeanor with the thinly veiled warning she'd given Blair moments earlier. For a minute, Blair allowed herself to imagine Chuck getting whiplash from trying to keep up with Caroline's ever-changing mixed messages, and she felt a small grin tug at her lips when she could almost hear him mutter 'For fuck's sake' under his breath. Widening her grin, Blair said, "I'll be there. And I'll bring a plus one."

Caroline beamed and gave Blair a quick hug before heading toward the door. "I'll see you at the party, then!"

As the door closed behind Caroline, Blair let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. The room felt suffocatingly quiet. She sank back onto the couch, her mind swirling with thoughts of Chuck, Caroline, and now Beckett.

She picked up her phone and stared at Beckett's number for a moment before texting him: Hey, are you free this weekend? I'd love for you to come with me to an engagement party.

She hit send and closed her eyes, leaning back against the couch. Her mind wandered back to Chuck, to the memories they shared and the complicated emotions that still lingered. She couldn't deny the pang of jealousy she felt seeing Caroline with him, but she had to remind herself of her own words: the past belonged in the past.

Her phone buzzed with Beckett's response: Anything to spend a little more time with you. Count me in.

Blair smiled, feeling a mix of relief and apprehension. Saturday was going to be a test—a test of her resolve to move forward, a test of her ability to navigate the murky waters of her past and present. But with Beckett by her side, she felt a glimmer of hope that she could handle it.

XOXO

The engagement party was a stunning display of sophistication and elegance. The ballroom had been artfully transformed, with crystal chandeliers casting a soft glow over the impeccably dressed guests. Lush arrangements of white roses and deep purple orchids adorned each table, their subtle fragrances filling the air. An orchestra played softly in the background, providing a melodic backdrop to the lively conversations. Blair took in the intricacies of the evening—the delicate china, the shimmering linens, and the carefully curated décor—appreciating the meticulous attention to detail that marked such a lavish affair.

As she stepped further into the ballroom, the warm light glimmered against her gown, a light pink vintage Valentino that hugged her curves perfectly. She felt confident, yet beneath that surface was an undercurrent of anxiety. The sight of Chuck across the room stirred something deep and painful inside her, a mix of longing and heartache that she couldn't shake off.

"You look stunning, Blair," Beckett murmured, his voice low and sultry as his lips grazed her collar bone. He grasped her hand in his, glancing around the room. "Quite the crowd tonight."

"Thank you," she replied, forcing a smile. "Yes, it's impressive." She tried to ignore the familiar knot of tension in her stomach as she caught Chuck's gaze, even from across the room. He was talking with Lily and Caroline, who looked radiant in her own shimmering gown, all warmth and charm, but Blair couldn't miss the fleeting glances Caroline threw toward Chuck and her, a hint of suspicion lingering in her eyes.

"Want to mingle a bit?" Beckett suggested, breaking her reverie. "I saw business acquaintances over there, and I'd like to say hi." He nodded toward a group gathered near the bar.

"Sure," Blair replied, taking a breath to steady herself as they made their way through the crowd. But even amid the laughter and chatter, her mind was elsewhere, her heart pounding hard against her chest.

As they approached the bar, Blair spotted Serena and Nate, standing close together, sharing a quiet moment that felt charged with an intimacy she found unsettling. Blair felt her heart race, not entirely sure why their presence made her feel on edge.

"B!" Serena exclaimed, her smile brightening as she spotted her. "I'm so glad you made it!"

"Hey, Serena," Blair said, embracing the blonde and forcing herself to return the enthusiasm. "You look beautiful."

"Good to see you, Blair," Nate kissed her on the cheek, his eyes scanning the room before settling on Beckett. "And you brought a plus one."

"Um, yeah," Blair said, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion at the familiarity in Nate's tone, "This is Beckett Wilder. Beckett, these are my friends, Nate and Serena."

Serena's eyes sparkled with approval as she looked between Blair and Beckett.

Nate asked with a knowing glint in his eye, "So, how long have you two been seeing each other?"

"Not long," Beckett replied. "But we hit it off immediately."

Blair felt her cheeks flush. It was nice to share this moment with Beckett and her friends, yet the thought of Chuck and Caroline lurking in the background sent another ripple of unease through her.

"Let's grab a drink," Nate suggested, nudging the group toward the bar.

"Good idea," Beckett agreed, leaning casually against the bar as he ordered a beer.

Blair took a moment to survey the room, her gaze naturally drawn back to Chuck and Caroline. They were laughing with a group of people she didn't recognize, and Caroline's hand rested possessively on Chuck's arm. Caroline's gaze darted between Chuck and Blair, her smile faltering for just a moment, as if she sensed the tension lingering in the air. She hated herself for feeling this way, especially after promising herself that the past was behind her.

"Earth to Blair!" Serena teased, snapping her fingers in front of her. "You've been staring over there for a while now."

Heat rushed to Blair's cheeks as she snapped back to reality. "What? No, I was just—"

"Are you okay?" Serena asked quietly so that Beckett couldn't hear.

"I'm fine," Blair insisted as she threw back her champagne. "Chuck and I are just… friends now. And he's happy with Caroline."

Beckett's presence beside her shifted slightly, and she could feel his attention on her. "Wait, is that Chuck Bass? What do you mean you're just friends now."

Nate raised an eyebrow, a smirk on his lips. "Oh, you don't know then?"

Blair felt a flash of irritation but quickly masked it with a tight smile. "It's complicated, okay? We have history, but I moved on a long time ago, and so has he. Let it go."

Beckett chuckled, a hint of tension in his eyes. "What am I missing here?"

Blair sensed the undercurrent of competition in his tone, a challenge that hadn't gone unnoticed by the others. "Chuck and I used to date…a long time ago. We've been friends since we were kids." She turned to Beckett, resting her hand against his arm. "Wait, how do you know Chuck?"

"We -" Becket started before he was cut off by Nate.

"Looks like Chuck's about to make a toast."

As they moved toward the center of the room, Blair's heart raced at the thought of hearing Chuck talk openly about his future with another woman. The spotlight fell on him as he stepped up to the microphone, his presence commanding and confident. Even in this crowded room, he had a way of drawing everyone's attention.

"Thank you all for being here tonight to celebrate with us," Chuck began, his voice steady, though there was an edge of emotion beneath the surface that Blair could sense even from this distance. "Caroline and I are thrilled to have you all as part of our lives, and I'm grateful for the love and support we've received."

Blair felt a mix of pride and sorrow as she watched him speak. He was every bit the charming businessman, exuding confidence, but there was a flicker of something else in his eyes—a vulnerability that made her ache for the connection they once had. Caroline stood beside him, her smile radiant but her eyes flickering momentarily to Blair with a mixture of uncertainty and curiosity.

"Caroline is not just my fiancé; she's my best friend and confidante," Chuck continued, glancing at Caroline, who looked radiant as she beamed back at him. "Together, we plan to build a future filled with love and adventure. Thank you for being part of this journey with us."

The applause was warm and genuine, but all Blair could feel was the growing tension coiling in her chest. Chuck's gaze swept the room, landing on her for just a moment, and she felt the weight of that gaze, full of unspoken words and emotions. For an instant, she thought she saw a flicker of longing there, but it vanished as quickly as it had come, replaced by the practiced countenance he wore for everyone else. Even behind his carefully crafted expression, she could see a jarring hardness outlining the corners of his eyes.

"Now, let's get this party started!" Chuck announced, stepping down from the microphone. The orchestra began to play a lively melody, and guests began to mingle and dance.

"Let's dance," Beckett suggested, taking her hand gently and leading her to the dance floor.

As they swayed together, Blair focused on Beckett, trying to block out thoughts of Chuck. He held her securely, guiding her through the steps with confidence, but the weight of Chuck's presence loomed in the background, a shadow that threatened to overtake everything else.

"Enjoying the party?" Beckett asked, his eyes searching hers.

"Yeah, it's great," she replied, forcing a smile. "Just a little overwhelming."

"Overwhelming how?" he pressed, his grip tightening slightly. "Are you worried about Bass?"

Blair hesitated, caught off guard. "I'm not worried about him. I just—"

"Blair, if you're still hung up on him, it's okay. You don't have to pretend with me," Beckett said, his tone sincere but tinged with frustration.

"I'm not pretending," she shot back, a little too defensively. "I'm here with you. That means something."

Beckett's expression softened, but she could see the flicker of doubt behind his eyes. "I want you to be happy, Blair. Just don't forget that you deserve more than just the remnants of your past."

As they continued to dance, Blair felt the tension building in the air around them, a palpable force that crackled uncomfortably. When Beckett's hand drifted lower on her waist, she spotted Chuck again over his shoulder, his gaze locked onto her from across the room.

Her breath caught in her throat as their eyes met, the world around them fading away. There was an intensity in his gaze that sent a rush of warmth through her, making her heart stutter. She couldn't tell if it was jealousy, longing, or possibly anger, but it felt unmistakably powerful.

Beckett noticed her distraction and followed her gaze. "You're doing it again," he said, his voice low and laced with concern. "You can't keep letting him pull you back. This feels like a lot more than 'we dated a long time ago.'"

Blair tore her gaze away from Chuck. "I'm here with you," she insisted, but the words felt hollow.

"I need another drink," Beckett said, guiding her back toward the bar. As they approached, she saw Caroline and Chuck out of the corner of her eye, their laughter infectious. Just behind them stood Serena and Nate, their expressions enigmatic as they exchanged a glance that made Blair's stomach churn.

"Do you want to join them?" Beckett asked, leaning closer, his eyes searching hers.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she replied. "Let's just stay here for a moment."

Blair felt a pang of guilt as she watched Chuck and Caroline interact, their love for one another undeniable. At the same time, a fierce desire to maintain her independence surged within her. She didn't want to let Chuck's presence dictate her emotions, but it was harder than she had anticipated.

The atmosphere shifted as the orchestra began a slow waltz, couples drifting to the floor. Blair watched as Chuck pulled Caroline into his arms, their movements perfectly synchronized. They glided across the floor with effortless grace.

Beckett turned to her, his brow furrowed. "This is hard for you, isn't it?"

"No," she insisted, though the words felt like a lie. "I'm just—"

"Blair, I don't want to compete for your attention," he said, his voice firm but low. "If you're not fully invested in this, we need to talk about it. I know this is new, but I really like you. But you have to be in the right place for this. If you haven't faced your past, then maybe we shouldn't do this right now."

Blair felt the heat of frustration rise within her. "I am invested, Beckett. I just need time to process."

"Time?" he echoed, disbelief clear in his voice. "You need to figure out what you really want. I don't want to be a rebound, and I certainly don't want to be caught in the middle of your unfinished business with Chuck. Look, I'm not trying to be cruel, but if there's anything with Chuck, I can't –"

Fanning herself, Blair cut Beckett off, "Is it just me, or is it really hot in here?"

Beckett let out a sigh and scanned Blair's face. Giving into what was a clear avoidance tactic, he said, "Let's get you some water."

"You go ahead," she swallowed. "I'm going to get some fresh air for a moment."

"Do you want me to -"

"No, that's okay," she cut in. "You go to the bar, and I'll catch up with you in a bit."

The night air was cool on the terrace, providing a welcome contrast to the warmth and noise of the ballroom. Blair leaned against the railing, trying to collect her thoughts.

"Escaping the crowd?" Chuck's voice came from behind her, smooth and familiar.

She turned to see him approaching, his silhouette illuminated by the soft glow of the outdoor lights. "Just needed a breather," she replied shakily.

Chuck moved to stand beside her, his gaze fixed on the city lights below. "It's a beautiful night."

"It is," she agreed, the silence between them louder than the busy ballroom.

He glanced at her, his expression inscrutable. "So, Beckett Wilder?"

Blair stiffened at the underlying edge in his tone. "He's…different," she said cautiously.

Chuck's eyes narrowed slightly, a flicker of that characteristic coldness he was known for passing through them. "Different how?"

"Chuck, don't do this," she sighed, her voice heavy with exasperation.

"Do what?" he asked innocently, but the challenge in his eyes was unmistakable.

Before she could respond, the sound of music drifted out from the ballroom, a slow, haunting melody that seemed to seep into her bones. Chuck held out his hand in invitation. "Dance with me."

Blair hesitated, her heart pounding. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Just one dance," he insisted, his voice soft but commanding.

Reluctantly, she took his hand, allowing him to lead her back inside. The dance floor was relatively empty, the other guests mingling and chatting in the corners of the room. As they moved into the center, the music enveloped them, creating a private universe where only they existed.

Chuck's hand rested on her waist, his touch sending a shiver down her spine. She placed her hand on his shoulder, trying to maintain some semblance of composure. They began to move, their bodies swaying in perfect harmony.

"You look beautiful tonight," he said quietly, his breath warm against her ear.

"Thank you," she replied, her hoarse voice barely above a whisper.

They danced in silence for a moment, the tension between them thickening with each step. Chuck's grip tightened slightly, pulling her closer. "So, how serious is it with Beckett?"

"It's…complicated," she admitted, her voice trembling. Of course it wasn't serious and Chuck had to know that she hadn't been seeing him for long, but admitting it aloud at his engagement party wasn't an option either.

"Complicated," Chuck repeated, his tone dripping with skepticism. "That's one word for it."

"Why do you care?" she asked, meeting his gaze with defiance.

He paused, his eyes searching hers. "Because you deserve better," he said finally, his voice raw with emotion.

"Better?" she echoed, her mind reeling. "And who would that be, Chuck?"

He didn't answer, his eyes darkening with something she couldn't quite decipher. Instead, he pulled her even closer, their bodies almost flush against each other. The heat of his skin seeped through the thin fabric of her dress, igniting a spark of desire that she had tried so hard to suppress.

"I don't know," he said softly, his lips brushing against her ear. "But you'll never know either if you keep running away every time it gets hard."

Blair felt a surge of anger rise up inside her. "You don't get to judge my choices," she snapped, her voice quaking under the intensity of her conflicting emotions.

"I'm not judging," he said, his tone infuriatingly calm. "I'm just stating a fact."

Their movements became more intense, the dance turning into a battle of wills. Blair's breath quickened, her heart pounding in her chest. The air around them seemed to crackle with electricity, each step bringing them closer to the edge of something dangerous and intoxicating.

"Why do you have to make everything so difficult?" she demanded, her tone scathing.

"Because nothing worth having comes easy," he replied, his eyes burning into hers.

Finally, the music slowed, and their movements stilled. They stood there, breathing heavily, their faces inches apart.

"Chuck," she whispered. "This is too much."

He cupped her cheek in his hand, his thumb brushing away a tear she hadn't realized had fallen. "I know," he said softly. "I'm sorry."

Blair closed her eyes, trying to gather her strength. When she opened them again, she saw the raw vulnerability in Chuck's expression, a reflection of her own turmoil.

"Blair!" Beckett's voice called from across the room, breaking the spell.

She stepped back, the connection between her and Chuck snapping like a taut string. She turned to see Beckett approaching, concern etched on his face. "Everything okay?"

"Yes, of course," she said quickly.

"Wilder." Chuck stepped back, his expression shuttering as he nodded to Beckett. "Enjoy the rest of your evening."

Blair watched him walk away, her heart aching with the weight of everything left unsaid. Beckett took her hand, his grip warm and reassuring. "Let's get out of here," he suggested gently.

She nodded, allowing him to lead her away. As they left the ballroom, Blair couldn't shake the feeling that her night—and her life—had just taken a turn she wasn't sure she was ready for.

A/N: Hi, everyone. I know that I'm updating very sporadically, but I hope a few of you are still with me. :)