— LISA

..

Jersey Girl and I spent a little over two hours on the nature trail. At first she was a bit hesitant, but after a little push she really enjoyed herself. She took pics of everything and anything we hiked by, which is perfect for what I have planned.

When we finally arrived at the lake house, we did our usual: ate, jumped in the lake, and then showered—separately—but the thought of how Jennie would look naked, with her hair soaked underneath a showerhead, did cross my mind. Just for an instant. All right, you caught me. Who the fuck am I kidding? It was on my mind for my entire shower.

Right now, Jennie is getting dressed in her room while I'm in the kitchen, grabbing a beer. The back door swings open and Mingyu steps in, his arm wrapped around his not-so-better half, Blair Mega Bitch. She slightly nods my way, flashing an arrogant smirk, and then treads her slutty, potentially disease-infected self toward the living area. Honestly, I'm shocked I haven't heard any more stories about her cheating, yet. It's only a matter of time, though. After all, it's only been a couple of months since her and Mingyu patched things up.

"What's up, Ming?" I say, uncapping the beer and taking a swig.

"Nothin' much. We're just getting in. How long you been here?" he asks.

"Jennie and I got back a couple hours ago from that nature trail Mom used to take us to. We hung out a bit when we got back. Now she's upstairs getting dressed. She should be down soon."

"The Coven trail?"

I nod.

"Damn. I haven't been there in forever," he quietly reminisces. "What made you go there?"

Shrugging, I say, "I wanted to show Jennie."

"Ah."

I pause midsip of my beer, narrowing my eyes. "What's the dumb smirk for?"

"Nothing." He raises his hands, palms forward. "You're so defensive."

"Don't fuck with me, Ming. I know you better than anyone."

Mingyu leans against the counter and crosses his arms over his chest. He still has that shit-eating grin across his face. "Well, I'm just here admiring you, my little cousin," he says. I raise a brow. He continues in a mocking tone, "Ms. I Will Never Get Strung Out Over a Girl. Ever. But from where I'm standing—front row, I might add—you're so fucking strung out I think you lost your balls along the way."

"Fuck off."

Mingyu laughs. "I'm serious, Lisa. You have a strong thing for this chick and you're not even together-together. What happens when you are?"

"What the hell does 'together-together' even mean?"

Mingyu arches a brow. "Come on, Lisa. You know what I mean. You guys act more like a couple than Blair and me, but at least we…you know."

"No, I don't know. Enlighten me," I say, interested in what he means by this "together-together" crap.

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" he prods. I stare blankly at him. Mingyu huffs. "S-E-X. Sex, Lisa. Blair and I are intimate. You and Jennie are not, but the way the two of you act, you might as well be."

"We're just friends," I clarify, my tone stern. I'm not sure why I'm feeling defensive, but there are two things Mingyu said that I don't like. One, Jennie is not just some "chick," and two, I'm not strung out. That's fucking ridiculous.

"The moment you two realize how you feel about one another—because, let's face it, it's obvious to everyone around you—the easier it will be. Trust me." He straightens, dropping his arms to his side.

I open my mouth to say something, but shut it just as quickly when Jennie walks in. "Hey, guys," she greets. Her hair drapes over her shoulders, still damp from the shower. As my eyes eat up the pair of denim shorts and white tank top that hug her frame, I swallow back the truth. The fucking truth that's been in the back of my head for the past couple of months. The truth that I've buried because I know she doesn't want more than what we are. The truth that Jennie and I will never be anything other than just friends.

"Hey, Jennie," Mingyu says, his eyes still glued on me, giving me the you-know-what-to-do look. Then he nods his head and turns, joining his girl in the living area.

Jennie takes a few steps until she's standing only a few inches from me. I chug the rest of my beer, keeping my eyes away from her, and place the bottle on top of the counter after I'm done with it. She pushes her body against mine, lifting her arms and wrapping them around my neck. This shouldn't make me uncomfortable. This is normal for us. But after what Mingyu just said, my thoughts are racing wild, and it's fucking confusing.

Finally, I shift my gaze and look down at her. "About what Mingyu just said…" she mutters.

My heart stammers as my eyes widen. "You heard that?"

"Most of it," she confesses. "I walked in and heard the part where he talked about how our feelings toward one another are obvious to everyone else." Her lips pull into a shy grin.

Thank God she didn't hear the beginning of it. I look down on her and she seems calm about it all. I wonder what she's thinking. Is she going to finally confess that maybe Mingyu is right? Sighing, I place my arms around her waist and pull her in a bit more. This doesn't faze her. Again, it's normal for us.

Jennie grabs the side of my face, her fingers grazing my cheek. I like it, the way her hand feels when she touches me. I like us this way, close enough that I can dip my head a few inches and kiss her. I like how comfortable it is for us.

"Lisa, don't pay any attention to Mingyu. He, along with everyone else, just doesn't understand our relationship and that's fine. As long as we know what it is, why does it matter what others think?"

I bite back what I really want to say and settle for, "And what is our relationship exactly?"

She smiles like it's the most obvious thing. "Best friends, of course."

I laugh and she does too, but I'm sure she's laughing for an entirely different reason than I am. She probably finds humor in our chat. She probably thinks I'm laughing because, of course, duh, it should be obvious we're best friends. But that's not why I'm laughing.

I'm laughing to cover up the fact that I want to bash my fist through the kitchen cabinet because never in my life did I ever think I'd be placed in the fucking friend zone.

And that fucking sucks.

..

Jennie and I are sitting beside each other on the couch, her hand in mine. JK is sitting on the floor, leaning against the sofa. Mingyu is on a La-Z-Boy chair with Blair on his lap. It's a slow night, which I don't mind. It's nice to have a small group and have a relaxing night once in a while.

Jersey Girl hasn't said much since the kitchen scene. I'm sure she hasn't given it much thought either. I look down at her. Her head is resting against my chest; her breathing is calm. I smile as she traces small shapes on my hand: a circle, turns into a triangle, then transforms into a square, then finds its way back into a curvy, nonexistent object. My eyes drift in Mingyu's direction. I catch him staring at us, and he flashes me a told-you-so grin. I narrow my eyes at him, which he counters with a chuckle. Blair turns her head to see what's so interesting. As soon as she sees it's about Jennie and me, she instantly rolls her eyes. Then her expression changes, her eyes brighten, and a smug grin pulls at the corner of her lips.

"Jennie, I almost forgot to mention," Blair says animatedly. Between the suspicious gleam in her eyes and the current of malice underlying her words, I can only imagine what Blair's about to say.

Jersey Girl lifts her head from my chest and looks in Blair's direction. Mega Bitch twirls her body on Mingyu's lap to fully face Jennie. "Yes?" Jennie responds.

"Guess who I recently ran into?"

I'm glaring at her now. Whatever Blair's up to is not with good intention. It's written all over her face.

"Who?" Jennie asks cautiously.

Blair allows the anticipation to build for a moment before blurting out, "Tae."

From the way I'm seated, I can't see Jennie's expression. Her back faces me, but she shifts uncomfortably. Then she straightens her shoulders, I suspect to show Blair she hasn't gotten to her. That's my girl. "That's nice," she says evenly.

"Yeah, it is. I mentioned I've been spending time with you here." Blair giggles. "It's funny, he asked if you were still a nut job. I had no idea what he meant. I told him you seem normal to me." Blair pouts, mocking a sad puppy dog look. I have the urge to smack it off her face, but lucky for her I don't hit girls.

My eyes shift from Blair to Jersey Girl when her hand squeezes mine and her leg slowly begins to bounce. "Thanks," Jersey Girl responds.

"No problem. Oh, and he looks good! Did you know he's engaged? Crazy. Yeah, he seems to be doing really well for himself."

"Good for him," Jennie says with a straight face.

"Isn't it?" Blair digs in.

"Yeah," Jennie whispers. Then she stands, excusing herself as she walks away. She doesn't run or storm out; she just simply walks through the kitchen and out the back door.

I glare at Blair. "Wow," I say.

"What?"

"There are times I don't think you can be any more of a bitch than you already are. And you manage to prove me wrong every single time." I stand and walk off toward Jennie. In the background I hear Blair asking Mingyu if he's going to let me talk to her that way. Mingyu simply brushes off her remark by starting up a conversation with JK. That's right. Even Mingyu knows when she's acting like the fucking queen bitch.

"Hold up," I yell out, running to catch up with Jennie. She doesn't look at me or stop; she keeps going at a quicker pace. "I hate her," Jersey Girl finally blurts out.

"I know. She's a bitch."

"A bitch is a nice description. She's a cunt."

She crosses her arms over her chest. I've never seen her this pissed off. I finally catch up and walk beside her until we reach the end of the dock. She steps close to the edge, looking down. I stand by. If I didn't know any better, I'd think she were about to jump in at any time.

"Don't let her get under your skin. She doesn't have a good bone in her body. She does shit like that just to get a rise out of you."

"Well, she sure knows how to hit a soft spot."

"Who's Tae?" I ask, my breath still a bit raspy from jogging.

Jennie drops her arms to her side, her hands tightening into fists.

"Who is he?" I ask again.

She squares her shoulders defensively.

"Jersey Girl." I grip her shoulder. "I'm not your enemy. You can talk to me."

Jennie shuts her eyes; her breathing calms and the tension in her body relaxes beneath my grip. Then she lets out a long sigh.

"He was someone I thought loved me."

"An ex-boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

I nod. "I see."

"He was my first."

"First?" I raise a brow. "As in first guy you ever slept with?"

She turns her head, eyes glistening. "Yeah, that too. But he was also the first guy I fell in love with, the first guy I ever trusted, and the first guy who broke my heart."

"What happened between the two of you?"

Jersey Girl turns her head away, her gaze skimming over the lake. She breathes in one deep breath, and then lets out a sigh, her shoulders deflating in the process. "I got sick."

"Sick?"

"Yeah, sick. There was a time where I was at my lowest point in my life. Well, at the time I thought it was my lowest—"

"Like, the flu sick?" I interrupt.

She brings her eyes back to me. "Just sick, Lisa. The point that I'm trying to make is that Tae couldn't handle it and he left me. It was heartbreaking because it was when I needed him the most and he walked away from it all."

What kind of bastard does that to someone he claims to care for? "Do you know where he lives now?" I ask.

Her brows draw in. "No. Why?"

"So I can go kick his ass." I shrug at her wide-eyed expression. "I mean it's an instant reaction. Do you have a last name? Social security number?"

She laughs.

There it is—her smile. I grin along with her, but I'm dead serious about hunting down this Tae guy. I put those thoughts aside and pull her into me. She nestles into my chest.

We stand there for a while before she pulls away and looks up. "So, there were a couple pretty girls at the party tonight."

I smile. She's talking about two girls that showed up. Jersey Girl caught JK staring at them and overheard him tell me he thought they were hot. "Yeah, there were."

She looks down, lightly tapping her sneaks into the edge of my boots. "Well, maybe you should ask one of them out sometime," she says softly.

"Maybe," I say. But they're not you. That's what I really want to say.

"So," I say. "What's going on with you and Sehun? Are you guys a couple or something?" I ask.

She snorts. "Hell no. I told him I'd prefer to be friends. We have nothing in common."

You sure have a bad habit of putting guys in the friend zone, Jersey Girl. I make sure to keep that remark to myself.

Jennie lifts her chin. Her pouty lips twist into a gentle smile and her catlike cinnamon-brown eyes gleam. And that's when it hits me: the feeling. It feels like one hard shot to the chest, punching all the air from my lungs. They slowly struggle to expand as I try to catch my breath.

Jesus Christ, Jennie is beautiful. She's not the kind of beauty that you use for a one-night stand. She's also not a friendly, sisterly kind of beautiful. She's more than that.

Jennie is the kind of beautiful that I can get lost in. Lost from all the fucked-up-ness in my head. She's the kind of beautiful that laughs at all my nonfunny jokes because she gets me. She's the kind of beautiful that'll put me in my place without batting an eye. Jennie is the kind of beautiful that can transform a nonbelieving girl like me into a girl who wants more. A girl who can fall hard, stumbling over her own two feet because she's so tangled up in her.

Fuck. Did I actually just admit that to myself?

Yes, I did. Because it's all true. I'm falling for her.

Jennie has me strung the fuck out and there's nothing I can do about it.

Maybe if I just tell her, maybe she feels the same.

But she's made it very clear we should remain friends. If I tell her, she'll just pull away. Do I risk our friendship over these feelings I have—feelings I'm not sure I can control any longer?

I know she feels it. She has to; there's no way I'm feeling every bit of this on my own, it's that damn powerful. Whatever is going on between us is definitely more.

I want to give her more of me, show her what I'm capable of. But I'm not even sure what the hell I'm capable of.

This is fucking frustrating.

"Are you okay?" Jennie asks. I nod. "Are you sure? You seem a little out of it."

"No. I'm fine." I take a step back, making sure to keep my eyes away from her. I can't bear to look at her with my thoughts racing like this.

"Lisa?" she questions cautiously.

"Jennie, I'm fine. Just leave it at that," I say rather harshly.

"Okay," she stammers, shocked by my outburst.

Shit, I'm even surprised by how I'm acting.

"I'm sorry." Although it's an apology, my tone is still rough. "I need to… I'll be back. I just need to leave for a minute. I'll be back." I walk away.

I need to clear my fucking head.

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