If Quinn was a bitch, she would have taken a picture of her two friends cuddling and posted it on Facebook or JBI's site. Instead, she takes a picture and saves it for future use. They are a mess of tangled limbs, and Santana's head is nuzzled securely under Brittany's chin, both sleeping soundly. Quinn wonders how they can breathe with each other's hair all up in their faces. She knows one thing for sure, though: they definitely like each other more than either of them is letting on.
She lets Brittany and Santana sleep in that position until she's absolutely sure that they can't sleep in anymore. Then, she sics Tommy on them. "Okay, now!" she whispers in his ear.
"What if they get mad at me?" he asks, concerned.
"They won't. I'll take the blame. This is how Santana likes to be woken up."
"Are you sure?" Quinn nods furiously. Shrugging, Tommy walks to the side of the couch where their heads are resting. "WAKE UP!" he screams.
Both girls tumble off the couch with groggy screams, Santana yelping when Brittany's weight presses on top of her. Still shocked from the abrupt wake-up, Brittany doesn't even try to stop the downward momentum, causing both of them to groan in pain when they collide into each other. Quinn is on her ass laughing, her face bright red. Ungracefully, Brittany rolls off of Santana, who moans in pain again.
"TOMMY!" Brittany bellows.
The boy immediately backs up with wide, fearful eyes. "Quinn told me to!" he yells before running off.
Both girls immediately turn their attention to the still-laughing blonde. "You little bitch!" Santana exclaims.
"That was awesome!" she chokes out between her laughs. Seeing the dangerous look in both her friends' eyes, she struggles to stand up.
Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce are not people to be messed with separately, let alone if they're both out to get you, and Quinn is well aware of this. She makes a break for it, but Brittany is too fast and straddles her, pinning her legs down. When she tries to struggle, Santana holds her arms down too.
"Well San? What do you think we should do with her?" Brittany asks, smirking as Quinn desperately wiggles beneath her.
"I'm thinking something along the lines of taking away her graphing calculator and burning all her homework." Santana smiles deviously.
"Please, my teachers would happily give me an extension and you two detention once I tell them that it's your guys' fault!"
"She's right, San. How about...we swipe all those poems she writes and post them on JBI's site?"
Quinn's eyes widen. Only two people know that she's a closet poet, and they're both pinning her down.
"Oh, that's right! How could I forget about those?"
"Perfect. Can you go get some duct tape so we can tie her up?" Brittany asks, a twinkle in her eye.
"Guys, no!" Quinn protests, trying in vain to get free. If anyone sees her poems...she doesn't even want to think about it.
"Britty?" Tommy's voice comes from somewhere behind them. All three girls stop struggling to look at him. He's fully dressed, with his bag slung over his shoulder. "It's 7:45."
"Crap!" Brittany exclaims, quickly getting off Quinn. "I'm sorry, Tommy, I just have to get ready!" She sprints up the stairs, and 10 minutes later, her hair is brushed, and she's once again wearing Quinn's too-small clothing. "I'll see you at school, guys!" she calls before ushering him out the door.
"Britt, you're gonna be la—" Quinn starts as the door slams shut. She sighs. Surprised at how quickly the mood changed, Santana wonders what happened before Quinn explains, "Britt's driving him to school. Come on, if we don't get ready, we'll be late too."
Quinn and Santana make it to class just in time, and because there is no empty seat other than Brittany's, Santana begrudgingly takes her old one by Puck. 20 minutes into class, there's still no sign of the blonde, and Santana is beginning to wonder where her fake girlfriend is...not that she cares about her or anything. It's just that when Puck saw that they didn't come to school together, he thought they weren't together anymore, and she can't have that yet. Ugh, this is all too complicated.
Finally, the door opens, and Brittany comes strolling in.
"Ms. Pierce, where have you been?" Mrs. Doosenbury demands.
Brittany puts on her signature cocky smirk and shrugs. "Just catching up on some important things," she replies rather suggestively.
"Well, you can make up for the lost class time in detention after school today," the teacher says, writing her a pink slip.
"Great. You know how much I love spending time with you, Mrs. D." Brittany flashes a charming smile at the teacher.
"Sit down, Ms. Pierce. I'll see you after school."
Turning briskly with that same cocky grin, she walks down the aisle, winking at Santana, who blushes at the gesture and quickly looks away. Brittany sits down next to Quinn, who just rolls her eyes at her friend.
Taken aback by the blonde's behavior, Santana isn't sure what to think. Why did Brittany lie about taking care of her little brother? If she explained or got a pass for being late, she wouldn't have to deal with detention or Mrs. D after school. Brittany doesn't want people to know, but why? Is it to keep her badass image intact? Is badass Brittany the real Brittany, or is there something more? Santana sighs, deciding not to think about it. For now.
When the bell rings, Brittany saunters up to her girlfriend and slips their hands together. "AP Chem next, right?" Brittany asks her.
"Yeah," Santana replies, surprised she remembers.
Suddenly, Rachel Berry appears in front of them. Santana swears she uses her magical dwarf powers to pop up at the most unexpected of times. "Hello ladies! I would like to ask you once again if you are at all interested in participating in our school's Glee Club. As I mentioned before, our club has—" Moving so quickly that she rivals Berry's magical speed, Brittany's hand slips out of Santana's. The blonde's hands slam against the lockers, pressing down on either side of Rachel's face, which wears a comically terrified, I-just-shit-in-my-pants expression.
Brittany's glare is deadly as she sneers down at Rachel. "Listen closely, Berry. We're not interested in joining your stupid club, so you can stop asking. I was willing to humor you and go to one rehearsal if you let me in that tight little Jewish skirt of yours, but as you can see, I have a hot as fuck girlfriend, and I promise you, if you harass us again, there will be consequences. Understand?" Her eyes narrow, and Rachel nods slightly, scared for her life.
Standing there, Santana watches in awe as the scene plays out before her. She knew Brittany can be mean and doesn't dick around, but damn...she didn't think she was that threatening or scary. She has no desire to be Rachel right now, even if seeing the blonde so aggressive is kind of hot.
Wait, what?
"This is your last warning, Treasure Trail," Brittany growls before putting down one of her arms. As soon as it's down, Rachel bolts. Brittany smirks at her retreating form before walking back to Santana, flinging her arm around her. "Damn, she's annoying, but I bet she's a firecracker in bed," Brittany says.
"Ew, that's nasty. How can you even think about that like that?"
"What? She'd be hot if she just stopped talking. Like something from a schoolgirl fantasy."
"Ugh, gross."
"Come on, San. You have to admit, if Rachel dressed in less stupid clothes and her mouth was taped shut, she'd be smoking."
Santana rolls her eyes, hard. "I'm straight, Brittany. Berry with double D cups and the hottest face on earth won't change that."
By now, they've reached the door of her AP Chemistry classroom.
"Suit yourself, San," Brittany sing-songs before kissing her forehead.
Santana is so caught up in the feeling of Brittany's lips on her skin, she doesn't even realize the dancer is walking in the opposite direction of her next class.
Brittany decides to ditch her Auto Shop class in favor of some much-needed relaxation time. Making her way to her usual spot under the bleachers, she inhales the scent of pot and cigarettes. Man, it's been too long.
"Ayy blondie! Where've you been?" Aphasia asks, laying on the dingy couch and taking a drag.
"Been tied up. Haven't had a lot of free time, but I'm here now, so get the hell off my couch," she says it assertively but playfully. Aphasia glares at her but knows better than to challenge the blonde. She gets up, then settles in her lawn chair.
"Yeah, I bet that girlfriend of yours has you tied up all the time. She strikes me as the kinky type," Mack sniggers, obviously already high.
"Oooh yeah, girl! She's totally into roleplay, isn't she? She's probably crazy as shit in bed!" Aphasia adds. Brittany scoffs and lights up a cigar. She doesn't really like pot or cigarettes, but cigars aren't as damaging and still help her relax.
"I bet she's totally into bondage and S&M. She like to whip you, Britt?" Mack pipes up again.
"Either that, or she's submissive as fuck. You know how people are totally different in bed. The quiet ones are always the dominant ones, and the fierce ones are always the bottoms. I bet our Brittz has lots of fun toying with the high and mighty head cheerleader."
Brittany smirks, thinking about how hot Santana would be in bed. She pictures the Latina, butt naked and laying on her bed, legs spread and ready...fuck. Even though it's hot as hell, she actually feels kind of bad thinking about her like that—which is weird, because Brittany never feels bad for thinking of girls or guys in that way. Why should Santana be any different?
"Ugh, as much as I hate the bitch, she's totally hot," Mack says.
"Oh, hell yeah. Her tits are so fine. I just wanna grab and squeeze them. I bet she keeps her pussy nice and hairless too."
"I wouldn't mind hearing her scream my name as I pound into her."
At these words, Brittany's hand clenches into a fist, and her jaw tenses. She doesn't like how they're talking about Santana...even if she was thinking the same thing seconds ago. "Shut up," she demands.
Both girls stop their conversation and look at her.
"Aw, sorry Britt. I forgot you actually liked this one."
"Yeah B, we didn't mean no harm. Actually, I'm surprised y'all are still together."
"Yeah, well, what can I say? She gives me a reason to keep coming back," Brittany says, the lie rolling off her tongue easily as she shrugs.
"Aw yeah, girl. High five! You fuck dat pussy!" Brittany chuckles uneasily as her and Aphasia's hands meet with a loud crack.
"She must really be something if she got you to not stray," Mack says offhandedly.
As she gives a small, shy smile, Brittany responds genuinely, "Yeah, she really is."
"Hola clase!" Holly announces. "Today is a work day, so go off in your pairs and practice your lines!" When no one moves, the blonde teacher sighs. "Hey!" she yells, getting everyone's attention again. "Alright, let me rephrase that. Get in your groups right now, and practice your lines. You're all performing this in three days, so if you want a good grade, I suggest you use your time wisely. Oh, and for those of you who are doing old-timey, dead white guy stuff, I want it translated into modern English. None of that 'wherefore art thou' stuff, alright? Now get going!"
The class groans as they sluggishly get up and find their partners.
"Ooh Q, here comes Sam," Santana teases.
"Shut up, Santana. I don't like him."
"What? You like Sam? Why didn't you tell me?" Brittany pouts.
"I didn't tell you, because it's not true!" Quinn whispers. "Now be quiet before he hears you and gets the wrong idea."
Simultaneously, all three of them look at the shaggy-haired boy, which he finds a little unsettling. He's not sure what to make of the fact that he currently has the school's two most intimidating girls and his crush staring at him wordlessly. "Hey Quinn," he greets nervously.
"Hey Sam. It's been awhile," the wrong blonde cuts in.
"Uh yeah. Hi Brittany," he says bashfully. He hasn't spoken to her since she kicked him out after their one-night stand about two months ago—not that he regrets sleeping with her. He wasn't a virgin at the time, and she's really hot and good in bed. Plus, it's not like he doesn't know about her reputation.
As Quinn and Santana look between Sam's red face and Brittany's smirk, the pieces click into place. "Wait...you two?" Quinn asks slowly.
"Don't act so surprised, Quinnie," Brittany says.
Santana looks between the two in disbelief as something claws at her chest. Fuck, she knows this feeling, and she refuses to accept it. She is not jealous of Brittany Pierce and Sam "No Game" Evans. "Ugh, I don't want to stand here and listen to Brittany's conquests...or lack thereof," Santana scoffs, eyeing Sam up and down condescendingly. With that, she storms off, aiming for Kurt, her partner.
Brittany sighs heavily as she watches Santana go, wondering why she always talks like she has a stick up her ass. "I'd better go find Mike, even though Tina's going to kill me. You kids have fun."
"They are a really odd couple," Sam comments.
Quinn smiles. "Tell me about it."
"So what are we doing again?" Santana asks, bored. She really doesn't want to talk to Kurt, especially about love scenes. Instead, her mind and eyes wander to Brittany, watching as she gets chewed out by Tina. The blonde just doesn't make any sense to her. She's so nice and sweet with Tommy but such an arrogant bitch at school. Plus, she can be so scary like earlier with Berry, or she can cower in fear like right now with Tina. It's as if she chooses to be a different person whenever she wants. It's so goddamn confusing.
Suddenly, she feels a swat on her shoulder, and she glares at Kurt. "Did you hear a single word of what I just said?" he asks with an irritated look on his face.
"No, and I really don't care, Lady Lips."
"Fine. You can tell Ms. Holliday that you refuse to do the project, but I would rather pass this class, thank you very much."
"Oh, don't get your lacy panties in a bunch. I'll do the stupid project."
"Hmph. I don't see how we're going to get anything done if you keep staring longingly at your girlfriend."
"I'm not staring longingly," Santana snaps. She isn't even trying to act in love right now. Oh God, is she actually pining after her fake lover? She needs to quit her staring right now. Unable to help herself, however, she continues looking at Brittany as the blonde laughs at something Mike says. Mike scrunches his face up in confusion, which only causes Brittany to laugh harder. She looks so beautiful when she laughs. Santana wishes she could make her laugh like that.
Her eyes widen at her inner thoughts, and she finally rips her gaze away from them and to Kurt, who rolls his eyes. "Can we please just get this over with, so I can get a good grade and be free from you?"
"Fine."
"This project is killing me," Brittany complains for the thousandth time.
"Why? Watching people get their mack on and getting your mack on seems to be your thing," Santana replies.
The blonde smirks. "That I'm totally fine with. Like, Mike's super hot, but Tina is so fucking annoying with her jealousy and glaring."
"Well, I sort of understand. If my boyfriend had to make out with a hot girl, project or not, I'd be pissed too."
"Oh, so you think I'm hot, huh?" Britt queries.
Immediately, Santana's chest tightens at her slip. How did she not realize she said that? Stupid! "I meant it as, like...as a hypothetical thing," she stutters out.
"Mhmmm," the blonde teases with a shit-eating grin. "Just admit it, San. You think I'm absolutely...smoking," she whispers teasingly, letting her warm breath snake its way over carmel skin.
Santana closes her eyes, giving everything she has to stop the moan caught in her throat and the shudder threatening to tear through her body. "Fuck off, Pierce," the Latina snaps, pushing her shoulders back.
"Oh come on, Sanny, ju—whoa," Brittany's eyes widen as she stares at something over her fake girlfriend's shoulder. Turning around, Santana sees Puck practically eating a nameless girl's face off and feeling her up like they aren't in a public place. "Looks like he got over you fast," Brittany quips.
As she glares at the scene, her jaw clenching, Santana grabs Brittany's hand and pulls hard. "Come on."
"He was just making out with that slut right in front of my face!" Santana yells.
"Wow, congrats to Puck. I'm impressed!" Quinn says casually, making the other blonde in the room laugh. The three of them are at Quinn's house.
Their reactions only make Santana more furious. "What the fuck does that mean?"
"Well, from what you told me, he still wants you. Puck's not the type of guy to give up easily, and the fact that you're 'unavailable' makes him even more desperate to get you back."
"What does that have to do with him practically fucking some rando in the hall?" Brittany asks, moving from the armchair to the bed, where the other two girls are.
Rolling her eyes, Quinn wonders how her friends can be so dense sometimes. "He's doing what you two are doing. He's trying to make you jealous." She points at Santana. "And from the looks of it, he seems to be succeeding."
"Are you kidding me? I am not jealous of Puckerman. I told you before, I don't even like him," Santana growls.
"That doesn't really make sense," Brittany ponders.
The brunette glares at her. "What the hell do you know?"
"She's kind of right, San," Quinn says. "I mean, why else would you go through all this trouble—lying about cheating on him, pretending to date someone you hate, getting angry over him making out with someone else? It sounds to me like you like him. Bad."
Biting back harsh words, Santana drops her eyes to her hands. "I don't like him, okay?" she says quietly, her voice wavering slightly.
"But—"
"Can you just drop it, Q?" she snaps.
Quinn eyes her warily before exhaling loudly. "Fine. For now." The two girls have a small stare-off before Quinn gets up and leaves the room with a mumbled "I'm hungry."
Brittany watches the whole thing with curious eyes. "I can take care of him if you want," she offers.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Put him in his place, show him what he's missing. It can mean whatever you want it to mean."
"I told you, I'm fine," Santana says shortly.
It's obvious to Brittany that something is going on with Santana, but the girl refuses to admit it. It makes the Latina even more intriguing to her. If there's a reason Brittany is such a badass, there also has to be a reason why Lopez is such a power-seeking bitch.
"What are you staring at?" Santana snaps.
"Nothing." The blonde shrugs. "I'm just trying to figure you out."
Santana's eyes narrow. "Well, stop."
"Look Santana, I know we're not exactly the kind of friends that talk about their feelings and shit, but...ugh, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here," Brittany gets out.
"Okay," Santana says dismissively.
Looking at the scornful expression on her face, Brittany groans. Why does she even bother?
Santana hates the feel of those blue eyes on her, like they're looking inside her and exposing all her secrets, stripping her raw. She doesn't want Brittany's sympathy, but at the same time, her heart flutters at the notion that the blonde might care for her.
No. She can't let anyone in, she won't. "Seriously Britt, stop fucking staring at me," she bites out with a harsh scowl, the one that usually fends people off.
Instead, the blonde smiles—fully, her eyes crinkling at the corners. Before she can help it, Santana thinks to herself, Wow, she's beautiful. I can't believe I made her smile like that. She internally yells at her brain to shut up.
"You called me 'Britt' again," Brittany tells her, her smile widening. For once, Santana lets the dusky red creep up her face, a small smile making its way to her lips.
"Am I interrupting?" Quinn asks loudly as she reenters the room. Both girls panic and stutter out "no"s and "of course not"s. Quinn just smirks. Even if they weren't doing anything, they sure look guilty.
"Q, I'm gonna go," Brittany says awkwardly," I've got lots of...homework." Seriously? She hasn't done actual homework since she hired that kid Artie to do it for her, and Quinn is well aware of this.
"Sure. Have fun with your 'homework,' B."
"I'll pick you up tomorrow," Santana reminds her, like she hasn't been doing it for the past three days.
Giving a slightly fake smile, Brittany rushes out the door. What the hell was that? She's usually so smooth, able to spit out lies with no problem. For some reason, though, the Latina makes her flustered. Santana's shy smiles, the way she looks away whenever she seems embarrassed...it's all so cute.
Brittany is surprised to find that for the first time, she doesn't dread seeing Santana in the morning.
