It was midafternoon by the time that classes ended for the day. I decided to wait an extra thirty minutes or so, so that I wouldn't be recognized by anyone coming home from AN. And when the clock was past three thirty, I put on a jacket and a hoodie over myself as an extra precaution in the event that I do encounter anybody that knows me. Even still, I wouldn't be surprised if everyone knew my face after my identity was leaked. But if that's the case, then I'm still going to take my best shot at doing this discreetly.

'Creak.' And with that, I exited my apartment in what felt like a long time. I peered around the corner to make sure that no one was around as I advanced down the elevator (Because I couldn't use the stairs while I was in a wheelchair.) and made my way out of the apartment complex. That was easier than I thought. But maybe I shouldn't be too surprised given the fact that each student's residence is private information known only to the respective student and the faculty. However, it just so happened that me and Sudo lived in the same building. (Just on different floors.)

If that's the case, it's reasonable that only those who participated in last month's battle know my exact apartment number. Even then, there are additional exceptions to this. Karuizawa knows where I live too and does Ryuuen. The former must have been told by Hirata, while the latter gained that tidbit of info by Garaki, no doubt. But now that I think about it, there's an enigma who seems to not fit into either category, Hiyori Shiina. I don't want to suspect her of anything, but she never told me how she found out where I lived.

To go even further, it would be practically impossible for someone to figure out where you live if you're not in the same class. Because asking for said information will inevitably result in suspicions of what said person was going to do with the info. For that reason, it makes sense that someone close to me (Who may still like me or hate me now, I could see it going both ways.) like Ichinose wouldn't have been included in that group. But then again, the same thing could be said for Sakayanagi.

'Perhaps, Shiina just asked Sudo or someone else who already knew where I lived.' I thought internally before looking at my phone and using google maps so that I wouldn't get lost while heading to the karaoke place. And before I knew it, I arrived. Not even a second later, some students exited the building sparking me to turn in the opposite direction of them so that they wouldn't notice my face. I didn't want to get into a confrontation with any of them. So, I kept my distance until they got far enough from me, before I entered the building.

'Creak.' I opened the front door of the karaoke place while making a sight audible 'Creak.' Which would have alerted my presence to any people around, but the hallway was completely devoid of people. I heard some music emanating from the rooms beside me as I advanced to the specific room that Shiina said she was going to be in. And just as I was about to make it home free without anyone noticing me, the door to one of the rooms beside me opened. It was so sudden that I was completely caught off guard by it.

'…' The person before me got a glimpse of my face and smiled, letting me know that they recognized me. However, it was the opposite for me. I had no clue who this person was. He was a tall fair skinned man, around my age, perhaps a year old than me. His light blonde hair and blue eyes stuck out to me. In fact, his whole face looked incredibly familiar to me. He looked just like someone I knew from another class at UA. We weren't exactly 'friends' but he would always say something along the lines of-

'Class B is superior to Class A!' That person named Neito Monoma would always boast about his class's superiority. But while he was a rather annoying person to be around, he eventually redeemed himself in my eyes when he became the MVP of the final war between the heroes and the villains. He was so vital to our victory that I wouldn't be surprised if he cracked the top ten Pro Hero billboard chart. Who knows they might even make a statue of the guy. However, the person before me is unquestionably NOT Monoma. Then…

'… Who is he?' I thought internally with a befuddled look on my face as we locked eyes with each other. But only a few seconds later, and some other students emerged from the room which prompted me to turn the wheels of my wheelchair in the opposite direction of the blonde-haired man. But the other students noticed this.

"Nagumo, do you know that guy?" One of the students said to the blonde-haired man named 'Nagumo.' Oh no! I'm screwed! He definitely knows who I am! Not only that but I'm getting Ryuuen like vibes from this person! At this rate he will- But my thought process was broken as I was completely surprised by what happened next.

"Nah. Can't say I've seen him around. Probably just some nobody." Nagumo replied before walking away from me as his friends followed him. I was completely taken aback by this turn of events. I expected him to expose me right there. But he didn't. Perhaps, I was wrong in my assumptions that he recognized me? No… I have a strong feeling that I'm right on the money. I doubt that this will be the last time I see the man named 'Nagumo.' But I decided it would be for the best that I ignore him on the off chance that I'm getting ahead of myself. And then…

"Oh, Deku. You're here. Take a seat wherever you like." Shiina said with a bright smile on her face while I took off my hoodie before taking a seat right across from her. I felt my unease from before vanishing without a trace as I laid eyes upon her. But even knowing that, is this fine for me to be around her? I know she's the one who offered me to come here but I couldn't help but think if I deserve this. Do I really deserve to be around someone gentle and kind like Shiina after letting someone that I could say the same things about die? After failing to save Sakura…

… Do I really deserve to be happy? But as the thought arose in my mind my expression hardened. Shiina noticed this and stood up. I expected her to be worried about me, but when I looked up at her, she was still smiling. Just how does she do that? Smile in the face of someone else going through pain and turmoil? Once upon a time, I was able to do the exact same thing. But now I've completely forgotten how to do that, much less smile. But maybe I don't deserve to smile. I let people that were close to me die.

Even before All Might's death, I couldn't do a thing to save either Sir Nighteye or Midnight from being killed. And now Sakura's dead too. All I've ever wanted was to bring smiles onto people's faces and be a hero that can save everyone. But that's impossible. I can't save everyone like All Might did. No, not even All Might could save everyone he loved. Case in point, Nana Shimura. Is it my destiny to lose the people that I care so much about? If that's the case, then me being here could spell certain doom for Shiina. I don't want anyone else to get hurt because of me. So-

"… Maybe I should just go." I muttered quietly while I was about to get in my wheelchair and leave. But before I could do so, I felt Shiina place her hand on me. I froze in place feeling her warm touch on my shoulder while waiting for what comes next.

"Deku. Want to listen to me sing?" Shiina whispered while I remained motionless. It wasn't as if I wasn't interested in hearing her sing. To be honest, she has a really beautiful voice that I'm sure would make for some wonderful singing. But I couldn't shake the feeling that it was wrong for me to be here. I was then caught at another crossroads. I could leave right now, and it would probably be the last time that Shiina ever talks to me. Or I could stay and be around her. I didn't want to be alone, so I chose the latter option before nodding and remaining in the same spot.

'I-I'm so selfish.' I thought internally with a pained look on my face I knew full well what I was doing. I was using Shiina's sympathy to make myself feel better. I'm no better than All For One who used countless people like tools only to discard them after they outlived their usefulness. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve to even hear her after what I did. But it was then that I realized why I did what I did the day before. I thought I was just angry at Sakayanagi and Karuizawa. But it wasn't just anger. There was a bit more to it than that, wasn't there?

'No! You don't get to say that! Not after what YOU did! How can you actually be sorry!? You hate me! And I can't even blame you for that! I'd feel the same way if I lost everything. But that's the thing I did. It went exactly how you said it would go back on the cruise. You remember what you said to me back then, don't you. If not, allow me to remind you, you said- I didn't want to accept that Sakayanagi actually felt sorry for me. Because I felt unconsciously that I didn't deserve to forgive her and feel happiness knowing that she realized the error of her ways.

'That's what you said, and you were right. I know that feeling of betrayal far more than I ever thought I would. So, it's okay. There's nothing for you to apologize for. Because I lost everything. Congratulations, Sakayanagi… you won.' And that's why I pushed her away. I was being so rude that day. Not just to Sakayanagi and Karuizawa but Horikita, Sudo and Hirata. I rejected their worries for me in my moment of crisis.

'Midoriya, please… I… don't want you to go.' And even when Karuizawa begged me not to leave. All I could say was-

'Karuizawa… just get the fuck out of here.' I completely rejected whatever possible reason she could have had for betraying me. I'm not saying my anger wasn't warranted there. I was very upset and hurt that she concealed her betrayal for so long. But I didn't even try to see her side of the story. I just accepted the fact that she betrayed me so that her reputation would remain undamaged. Even though I knew that she had been hurt and betrayed too. It must have hurt her to do that to me. Why else would she have tried to stop Hirata?

But the truth is that I didn't want to accept the fact that the both of them were regretful of their actions. Because if I forgave them right then and there, I would feel good about myself and I would smile. But I don't deserve that! I don't deserve to be happy! I'm the last person on this planet who deserves happiness after letting Sakura die! All I could do was watch! And in the end, I can't even reciprocate her feelings for me! That's why I deserve nothing but suffering! I have to suffer for my crimes and atone for them! That's the price I must pay for being so worthless! And that's why… for that reason…

… I can't ever be a hero ag-

"Ah." I gasped as suddenly my thought process was broken and shattered to pieces by the upbeat music playing in the loudspeakers beside me. I was completely taken aback by the catchiness of it. It almost reminded me of the musical beat that was accompanied by-

"Thanks for coming out today." Shiina whispered before grabbing the mic by the mic stand beside her. And not even a second later she-

"What am I to be? What is my calling? I gave up giving up, I'm ready to go. The future's left unseen. It all depends on me. Put it on the line to follow my dream! Yeah!" Shiina sung in her usual beautiful tone of voice. But this time it was a bit different. She was usually composed in her attitude. But now her voice was very energetic, highlighting the upbeat nature of the perfectly. It was a match made in heaven. As for the song, I recognized the lyrics instantly, they were from-

'It can't be… those words! They are from Jiro's song! But how did she-' I thought internally before my train of thought was eradicated by what I recalled next!

'Did you write this? These are really good lyrics.' That's what she said the night before! She noticed the lyrics of 'Hero Too' which I wrote out onto a piece of paper. All so that I could smile again. But it didn't work back then. I was so heartbroken by everyone losing their faith in me that I couldn't smile. No. It wasn't that I 'couldn't' smile. I chose not to. Even back then, I was scared to smile. Scared to feel good about myself when I thought that I didn't deserve it. I couldn't help but accept that things weren't going to get better.

'I rule Class A. And let's just say hypothetically I didn't and everything I've been telling you was bullshit. So what? I'm a woman. A poor defenseless woman who says she was taken advantage of by a man. Do you really think they are going to take your side? You see, Midoriya, I won far before I even had to lift one of my fingers. Because no matter what happens next… no one will EVER believe you.' Even before Kushida said those words to me. They just happened to be the final blow to my self-confidence. (Or lack thereof.)

I accepted that things would be just as she said they would be. It was what sparked my inevitable decent into despair. One that would lead me to questioning everything. My place in this world, if the people who I considered to be friends really felt the same way about me, and that if I really wanted to continue being here. That's why I wanted to run away from it all. So, that I wouldn't be proven right. I was so scared that Kushida was right that I rejected the possibility that I could have changed things.

'Everyone! Get out of here! I will…' Even back then when I stared down that monster and declared that I would defeat it, I ignored the slightest chance that I could have turned things around right then and there. I ignored the fact that Horikita tried to help me out moments prior. I even ignored that they paused for a moment when they figured out my identity. If I just said something back there, something that could have made things clear that I wanted to defeat that monster but also not do it alone… would they have…

… Helped me? Would things have been different if I just extended my hand at them with a smile. Could Sakura have been saved if I said something so simple that anyone could have said? Or would the result have been the same? Was I fated to lose Sakura just like how All Might lost Nana? Both of us not being able to save a woman who loved us. I'll never know. Because I accepted that they wouldn't have been able to help me. Even though they had Quirks that could have saved Sakura.

'Tried all my life. I've tried to find something that makes me hold on and never let go! Oh! Hero too! I'm a hero too! My heart is set! And I won't back down! Hero too! Strength doesn't make a hero! True heroes stand up for what they believe! So, wait and see! So, wait and see!" Shiina continued as the lyrics hit me in the gut. They resonated with me in a completely different way from before. I wanted to feel like I could be part of this world. That it was alright for me to be here.

But in the end, I chose to reject that notion. I didn't want to be happy knowing that Sakura died because I wasn't strong enough. So much so, that I can't even stand anymore. I'm so pathetic. Why couldn't I have done something so simple like calling out to my friends? Have I learned a single thing after my friends fought tooth and nail to bring me back to UA?! Even now, I don't want to accept their help. Because if I do… then I could lose another one of them. Someone precious to me! Just like how I did with Saku-

'SNAP!' Suddenly Shiina snapped her fingers at me and my thought process was broken as soon as I saw her smile and by the words, she would say next.

"What do they think of me? What do they think I'll be? I could not care less! I don't wanna know! Am I doing right? Am I satisfied? I wanna live my life like it's meant to be! Yeah!" Shiina continued as she exhilarated such beauty and passion in her voice. She's so much stronger than me. All I could do was care what others thought about me up to this point and how they may have hated me for a twisted tale concocted by a person who wanted revenge. And when they were enthralled by it, I couldn't accept that if I tried again to explain things, that maybe, just maybe…

… They would have forgiven me. Even now, I don't want people to hate me or think less of me because of some depiction that I'm a monster. I just want things to go back to how they used to be. Me, Horikita, Sudo, Hirata, even Karuizawa, and the rest of Class A with smiles on our faces. That's what I want so badly. But is that even possible now? Is there still a way to go back to those days? No. I can't fool myself and think everything will go back to normal. Not when Sakura is gone. That fact alone will create an unnoticeable void that will make it impossible for things to go back to the way they once were.

But of course, I'm not the only person who thinks this. Sakura wasn't without friends. I might have been the person she was closest to. But she was well liked among the others. And they know I'm the hero, the same 'hero' who failed to save her. Even if I manage to resolve the rumors surrounding me, will they hate me for not being able to save her? Is there even a point to try if things will hopelessly end with me being rejected by them all in the end?

"Tried all my life! I've tried to find something that makes me hold on and never let go! Oh!" Hiyori continued singing beautifully as once again her words that she borrowed from Jiro were put into a different context this time. I've tried to do exactly that. Time and time again, I wanted to hang onto the notion that I could be a hero even everyone told me (Directly or indirectly) That my dream was futile. Even now, I'm trying to hang onto something. Not because I believe that I can be a hero. But because…

… I don't want to be alone anymore. Those good times I've spent alongside my friends at UA were the best days of my life. I got to be surrounded by people who appreciated me, who wanted to be there. So much so they would risk their lives time and time again to keep everything just like that. And that's why I wanted to find people just like that too. It's not that I wanted to replace them. I just wanted those good times to continue. I didn't want them to end. And that's why when it felt like there was no going back to that, I couldn't help but accept it.

"People will judge for no reason at all. Yeah, they might try! To say your dreams are dumb! But don't listen! They may look down on you and me and count us out! We're going our own way! They may look down on us and count us out! But so, what? I'm a hero! And you are too!" Shiina continued as the lyrics suddenly began to change. Originally the lyrics were focused on Jiro's feelings. But now she's including me. This song isn't about the person I once knew. Since she started singing, it was all about me and her.

"Hero too! We're heroes too! My heart is set! And I won't back down! Hero too! Strength doesn't make a hero! True heroes stand up for what they believe! So, wait and see!" Shiina continued as I was completely taken aback by her singing so much so that I couldn't even think anything but that the girl named Hiyori Shiina is someone truly inspirational. And while she reaped herself once more, unbeknownst to me, her past was kept hidden from me. There was no way I could know it. What drove her to sing this song for me.

'Eh? You want all of us to be friends? What a joke. This school makes it certain that we will use each other to our hearts content until one of us goes down. There's no point in all of us being friends like you say. Right, everyone?" Ryuuen spoke with a smirk while no one had the courage to refute his words. Not even the girl who asked him that question could say anything but grit her teeth. All the girl named Hiyori Shiina wanted was to create an environment where people can count on each other and be able to smile. And that's why… that's why she!

"I haven't met a single hero in my life until I met you! You gave me the strength and courage to make a change! Gave me the power to smile in spite of it all! Gave me the power to smile every single day! Now it's my turn to be the one to make you smile!" Shiina declared with a dramatic crescendo as my memories of her flashed by again and again until I recalled our first meeting back on the cruise. I helped her grab a book on a shelf she couldn't reach. That was it. There wasn't anything else to it.

Or so I thought. Back then Shiina must have been impacted by this simple act of kindness, so much that she is doing all of this for me! I didn't know it at the time. There was no way I could. But I brought a smile back to Shiina's face by doing something so simple that anyone could have done. But it wasn't just anyone. It was me. I made her smile. And now she…

Chapter 38: Hero Too

… Made me smile too. Shiina noticed this as well as the look in my eyes change. It wasn't long ago that, unbeknownst to me, my eyes looked dead akin to a corpse or a certain other person I had been around many times and was fated to face off against in the not-so-distant future. But now they have regained their light. Not only that, but tears also slid down my cheeks. This caught Shiina off guard and she assumed the worst.

"A-Are you okay?! I-I hope I didn't upset you. And I know that I borrowed your friend's song without asking for permission. I'm sorry… about that." Shiina admitted with a look of regret on her face. I wanted nothing more than to hug her, but I couldn't. I can't stand on my own, not while I'm in this wheelchair. That's why I want her by my side so that the day I can stand again, I'll be able to repay her for everything she's done for me. But there's also another reason why I need her, but I'll be getting to that in a moment. First, I have to reassure her.

"Don't worry I'm not upset. These tears are ones of joy. I was so happy that I couldn't stop myself from crying… I haven't felt this good in what seems like forever. So… there's nothing for you to apologize about. Thank you, Shiina. Thank you so much for giving me the courage to do what comes next." I spoke with a bright smile on my face while rubbing my eyes so that the tears would stop. But what I said last, caught Shiina's attention.

"What comes… next?" Shiina asked while I nodded in affirmation. I then took a few seconds to respond while getting the words in order for what to say to her. Because it's going to be a huge request. And it's selfish of me to ask her about this. I know that. But even still I remained firm in my beliefs until continuing.

"That's right. You asked me if I was going to come back to school the other day, and I declined the offer. The reason for that… is because there's a particular person that has spread rumors about me like wildfire, awful ones. That person is the reason why I've been avoiding my classmates and everyone else. So, in order to come back to my classmates and have them regain their trust in me, I'm going to have to expose her lies. And… I want your help to do that, Shiina." I asked while maintaining my smile as Shiina listened without saying a word.

I know I was asking a lot from her. But… I can't do this alone. And the trust that I've built with my classmates was shattered to pieces by Kushida. But it wasn't just the ones that were familiar but not too close to me. The trust that I've built up with Horikita, Sudo, and Hirata is shaky at best. I can't expect them to help me after how I acted in the lobby of my apartment building. Not only that but they also fought against me from the month prior to this. I can't say that their betrayal doesn't hurt me anymore because it still does. And even before that they lost their faith in me because of Kushida's web of lies.

But even still, I want to regain their trust. I want them to revitalize their faith in me and vice versa. And the only way to do that is to expose Kushida. But in my current predicament, I won't be able to beat her alone. It will just end the same way it did last time. And I can't expect Karuizawa to admit her involvement in Kushida and Sakayanagi's scheme to destroy Class A's trust in me. I also don't want to involve Sakayanagi in any of this because she would get caught in the crossfire and be hurt. She did seek revenge, and I don't know if I could ever forgive her for what she did. But I've already hurt her so many times. And I don't want to hurt her ever again.

So, right now, Shiina is the only person that I can turn to now. She is without question the person who trusts me the most right now. And I can say the same thing about her. I want to regain everyone's trust in me. That's why I need Shiina by my side. But I'm not going to force her to help me. She's already done enough. If she refuses, then I'll just have to stand alone. But even still I-

"Will you help me, one more time, Shiina?" I asked with a serious look on my face as Shiina took a moment to process what I was asking her to do. This wasn't a game we were about to play. It might be to Kushida but not to me. If this goes how I want it to go, then I believe that Kushida's punishment will be very severe. She'll definitely hate me for it. And she'll be added to the long list of people who want revenge against me.

However, no matter how this plays out, one of our futures is going to change. There can't be a class with both me and Kushida in it. I don't want to be around her anymore. And I don't want the people that I care about to be around her either. Kushida is a cancer that has spread throughout the entire classroom. It might be too late to cut her out so to speak. But either way I'm going to try. I want to take back what she stole from me, even if it means stealing everything from her in the process.

'Some people just can't be saved no matter what you do.' Nana Shimura said something like that once upon a time, didn't she? Ever since I could remember I wanted to save everyone and be a hero just like All Might was. But I'm not a hero anymore. And even if I was, Kushida has made it crystal clear to me that she won't change her ways. There's no part of her that wants to be saved unlike Shigaraki. That's why I can't hold back against her. I'm going to have destroy her influence among the class completely. And the only way to do that…

… Is to have her expelled. Shiina's smart. She knows the rumors about me. I doubt there's not a single soul who hasn't heard the gossip that Kushida spread about me. But even still Shiina fought tooth and nail to bring me back from my lowest point. That's why I know she knows exactly what I'm asking her to do. What will she think of me after this? Will she regret doing what she did? No. The song she sang, her own rendition of 'Hero Too' has made it clear to me that she has no regrets. But I can't expect her to help me. What happens next, Shiina has the power to dictate it. And after taking some time to process everything I told her, she-

"… Of course I will, Deku." Shiina replied with a bright smile while extending her hand toward me. This made a smile of my own return to my face. What would come next is going to be our battle with Kushida. We may lose, there's no guarantee that any of my classmates will trust Shiina, especially since she's from another class. But we're still going to try. That's all we can do to expose her…

… But mark my words, I'm going to expose Kushida for the monster she is. That I swear.

To Be Continued…

Next Chapter: Exposed

Go Beyond!

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