The front door was unlocked when he arrived the next day, just as Jacob had said. He carefully opened the door und closed it behind him. He was standing in the entrance and looked around. The surrounding was warm, full of wood and bright colours. A thick carpet covered the floor and muted his steps. He followed the instructions Jacob had given him until he arrived at another door. He knocked and was greeted with a „Come in!".
He immediately spotted the small figure, sitting on a couch, covered with layers and layers of thick blankets, almost drowning in them.
She was pale, almost ghostlike but her eyes were sparkling as she took him in. They had an unusual purple colour and her hair, the few strands he could see under her beanie was of a silvery white. He briefly wondered if this was indeed Jacobs and Bella's daughter, so unlike them she looked. But then she opened her mouth, and the sound of her soft voice immediately carried him back, through all these years to a time he had long tried to forget.
„You must be Edward," she said softly. „My father told me that you'd come today."
He nodded, still standing in the entrance. „And you're Sara." It wasn't a question.
She smiled. „Indeed I am. Come in. I'd stand up and offer you something to drink or eat but I don't think that'll be necessary."
He chuckled, then entered and sat on a chair opposite her. „Not unless you have a glass of blood in your fridge. So, you know about me."
She nodded. „That you are a vampire, yes. And that you all met in high school although it was more of a formality for you. I always wondered, how many times did you go to school anyways?"
„Well, to be honest, I've lost count over the years. But I have two medical degrees if that's what you mean."
Her eyes began to widen. „So, you are a doctor?"
He chuckled again. „I could be I gather but no, I'm not. For once, I look too young to be an actual doctor and besides we already have my father. It just interested me, seeing how medicine changed over the years, what was accomplished and how opinions were changed."
„I wanted to be a nurse, like my mother," she confessed. „I like the idea of helping people, taking care of them and making them get better."
„You would go along very well with my father, then. Carlisle thinks the exact same way about his work."
She grinned but that grin turned into a coughing fit. She reached for a glass of water on the table in front of her and he quickly handed it to her. She drank in heavy gulps.
When she was finished, her coughing had stopped but he noticed a thin layer of sweat on her forehead. It was then that he truly looked at her.
She was thin and pale, almost translucent. Her arms resembled twigs, and her eyes were sunken in. Though she tried to hide it, she was really ill. He, who was so familiar with death, felt its presence all around them. Jacob had been right. His daughter was dying. It wouldn't take long, maybe a few weeks, two months top. How could Bella not see that?
He sighed, then decided to address the real reason he was here today. „Did your father tell you, why I came?"
She nodded weakly. „Yes. He wants you to turn me, to make me a vampire, too so I could live. But you refused. Why?" There was no accusation in her voice, no pleading, just curiosity.
He sighed, looking down. He raked a hand through his hair, trying to find the right words as he had so many years ago. A lifetime ago.
„There are so many reasons…," he began slowly. „You all see only the advantages. Our beauty, our speed, our immortality. You think living forever is a good thing, but you don't see the consequences of it. Losing everyone you love, killing to survive, always hiding in the shadows out of fear that someone will find out about you. When Carlisle turned me, it was because my mother asked him to. I didn't know what was happening back then but now that I do know, I would never willingly bestow this fate on another person. It's cruel and it's unfair. I won't condemn anyone else to be a soulless monster like me." He looked at her, expecting to see disgust or horror or despair but instead she looked… thoughtful.
The seconds ticked by and then she began to talk.
„When my parents told me about you, I was surprised. Not afraid or freaked out, just surprised. I knew about my father and his family already, so it was just another logical step. I talked a lot with my mother about your family and did a lot of thinking myself. With chemo and everything you have a lot of free time."
Sara shrugged. „I came to a few conclusions back then. First, yes, you need to feed on blood, but really what's the difference between eating the flesh of an animal and drinking their blood? Two, immortality, forever unchanging while all of your loved ones get old and die. Yes, that really sucks, but isn't that the natural course of life? Almost every child has to watch his parents die eventually and maybe some of their friends as well. You'll grieve, sure, but eventually you'll move on, simply because that's the way we were built. But the most important thing for me was the soulless monster thing." Sara eyed Edward, looking for a reaction. When he didn't move, she continued. „You see, I believe that the soul is the reason our heart beats. We know how we live but not why. Why does this tiny heart begin to beat? Who tells it to? That's the soul. And a soul doesn't vanish because the heart stops beating. Vampires still think, still feel, still exist. Why? Because of their soul. That's what I believe." She sighed. „Yes, nature created you as predators to feed on living humans. But that doesn't mean you have to live this way. There is another way, your way. The soulless monsters are those who choose to follow their predatory side and kill innocent humans. So, no, I don't think that you are soulless monsters and there is no way that you'll convince me otherwise. I know that my mother once wanted you to turn her and for your reasons that you didn't. But I don't care. And I'll never care. I'm dying anyway, whether you turn me or not. What you'll give me is a chance to be, to continue, to remain in this world. I thought a lot about this and I am sure. I want this. I really do. But in the end, it's up to you if you do it or not." Her gaze remained firmly on him. He didn't move one muscle, but she could practically see him thinking.
„You don't know what you are asking me to do…," he whispered after a while.
She shrugged. „Maybe not. But even so, all I just said is true. I won't beg you to do it. You turning me has to be your decision. All I'm saying is that I would do it. Live as a vampire, with all the consequences. If you say no, then it's fine. I won't have any I'll feelings toward you or be angry for refusing. Just think about it and when you are ready, talk to me. Alright?"
He did a lot of thinking after that. And a lot of talking. He talked to Carlisle, to Esme and each of his siblings. Of the reason they decided to turn another person and how they had felt about it. And then he thought some more.
And in the end, he made a decision.
