July 30, 1980
Calandra sat in the living room of the Longbottom's bouncing her leg nervously. The midwife had assured her it wouldn't be too much longer. She glanced at the clock on the mantle and winced. It had been hours. Couldn't they do something? She felt so useless. She didn't have the first inkling about childbirth, but Alice had asked her to be here, so here she was.
Frank stuck his head out of the bedroom door and called for her. She ran down the hall.
"She's asking for you." Frank said. He looked weary and a bit shell shocked.
Calandra followed him into the room and looked around, surprised. The room had been extended and a metal bed had been placed against the wall. Alice sat on it, panting. A table with water spigots stood by the bed and a long counter had been placed against one wall. On it, Calandra saw a number of medical tools; some muggle, some magic, as well as a pile of neatly folded towels and blankets.
"Callie!" Alice gasped from the bed.
Calandra rushed over to her and grabbed her hand. Frank stood on Alice's other side. The midwife stood at the foot of the bed, patting Alice's knee soothingly.
"I can't do this." Alice said desperately to Calandra. "I have no idea how to be a Mum."
"Yes, you do!" Calandra said. "Alice, you've been taking care of me for years. You're a perfect Mum. You're going to be so wonderful."
"Yes, love! You're doing marvelous." Frank echoed from his side of the bed.
"What if I mess up?" Alice's eyes welled with tears. "What if the baby grows up to hate me? What if-"
"No!" Calandra cut her off. "You can do this. You're going to have this baby and you're going to be the best Mum anyone has ever seen. This little guy is going to absolutely adore you."
Alice nodded and swallowed.
"I'll make sure of it." Calandra said resolutely. "I'm his godmother, you know."
Alice laughed and winced in pain. She gripped Calandra's hand so hard the young witch thought it would break. Calandra looked over to Frank to find him grimacing as Alice gripped his hand, too.
"Alright now, love." The midwife said from the foot of the bed. "It's time to push. You'll meet your young man soon enough now."
...
July 30, 1980
Calandra had never seen anything like it before. She held Alice's hand for dear life as the midwife gave Alice directions on when to breathe and when to push. Alice was incredible. Absolutely incredible.
Calandra looked to Frank and she imagined she wore the same look he had on his face. One of absolute awe. Alice gripped their hands and grit her teeth. The midwife gave her encouragement and all of a sudden Alice's face shone with relief. Calandra couldn't tear her eyes away from her friend.
A small cry rang out through the room and the midwife placed a baby wrapped in a blanket in Alice's arms. Calandra backed away from the bed as the midwife walked around to check on Alice. Frank wrapped an arm around his wife's shoulders and placed a hand atop the baby's head. He blinked rapidly and Calandra saw tears on his cheeks.
"You were marvelous. I love you so much. I love both of you so much." Frank said, placing a kiss on Alice's forehead, then another on the top of the baby's head.
Alice looked up at her husband and burst into tears. She smiled and stared down at the bundle in her arms with wonder.
"We have a baby!" she said unbelievingly.
Calandra's heart clenched at the sight of the three of them. Their own little family. She felt tears in her eyes and knew that, even though she was over the moon with excitement and love for Alice, some of her tears weren't out of happiness for her best friend. Some of them were tears for what she knew she'd never have.
...
July 30, 1980
Calandra cradled the bundle in her arms. She stared down at the small little hands scrunched up beside his perfect little face. Alice beamed at her, exhaustedly from the bed. Calandra reached over with her free arm and grasped Alice's hand.
"He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." She whispered.
"He is, isn't he?" Alice smiled.
Calandra smoothed Neville's tufty hair back from his forehead. He wriggled down in the blankets and let out a little baby sigh. She rocked him gently, leaning her head down to graze the top of his head with her lips. She breathed in his baby smell and felt her heart melt. She stared down, lost to everything in the world but the tiny boy.
A small whiffling snore jolted her out of her reverie. Calandra looked over and found Alice sleeping soundly, propped up against her pillows. The poor thing was exhausted. Calandra settled herself back in the chair and went back to studying Neville.
"It's just you and me, little chap." She whispered. "Mummy's off to dreamland."
Neville stared up at her with dark hazel eyes. She ran a finger down his cheek and was rewarded with a little baby smile, a dimple playing at the corner of his tiny mouth. Neville let out a gurgle and wriggled in her arms again. Calandra stood and swayed with him.
"I love you, Neville." She whispered. "Aunt Callie loves you, so much."
She had no idea how long she stood there, rocking the bundle in her arms. She got lost in him. In a thousand little ways. The way he yawned and stretched his tiny arms. The way his eyelashes sat against his cheeks when he closed his eyes. The little baby sounds he made in his sleep. Calandra swayed to an unheard rhythm as she memorized every detail of her godson. The rest of the world faded away as she drank him in.
When Frank came in to take Neville from her, her heart squeezed as she handed him off. She could've stayed that way, with him in her arms for weeks, months, or years. She dropped a kiss to Neville's forehead and brushed Frank's cheek, telling him to let Alice know she'd be back. She kissed her friend's sleeping head and let herself out of the house.
...
July 31, 1980
Calandra collapsed into bed as soon as she got back home. She was absolutely knackered. She could only imagine how Alice felt, the poor thing was the one who'd done all the work. Calandra slept like the dead. She woke around eight in the evening, to a note from Sirius saying he was going to James's.
She knew he had gone to the Potter's earlier that day, she vaguely remembered him speaking to her and kissing her goodbye. He had wanted to talk to James about something, but it should not have taken this long. Calandra was starting to get worried about him. She paced the kitchen, glancing at the clock on the wall every few minutes.
She jumped when the floo roared to life and Sirius's face shown in the flames.
She knelt down on the hearth and peered at his face.
"Are you ok?" She asked, quickly. "What's going on?"
Sirius's face broke into a huge smile.
"Floo on over to Prongs's." he said. "I'm still here."
She grabbed her bag and waited until his face was gone from the fireplace and tossed the floo powder in. She stepped out of the fireplace at the Potter's and was immediately scooped into a crushing hug. James Potter swung her around before setting her back on her feet.
She looked confusedly around for Sirius. Lily was propped up on pillows on the sofa looking over to her right with a tender smile on her face. Calandra followed her gaze and found herself looking at Sirius. More specifically, a beaming Sirius with a small bundle of blankets held carefully in his arms.
Calandra took a step toward him and Sirius looked up from where he stared into the blankets. He laughed and tilted the little bundle up to where she could see a tuft of jet-black hair.
"I'd like to introduce you to Calandra, Harry." Sirius said, leaning his head down to the baby's head. "She's the fittest thing you'll ever lay eyes on."
She smiled down at the sleeping baby and listened to Sirius talk to him.
"You'll come over for dinner with us and we'll give you all the sweets your parents hide from you, and Cals will sing songs to you, and old Padfoot will teach you how to drive a motorbike."
Calandra looked up over at James and Lily. James's hair was wilder than she'd ever seen it. He kept running his hands through it absentmindedly, as if he were trying to ground himself to the fact that he had a baby. Lily looked a bit like Alice; exhausted, but absolutely euphoric. Calandra walked over and gave Lily a gentle hug.
"Congratulations." She said. "He's gorgeous."
Lily beamed and James's face looked as if it would burst with how big he was smiling.
"We've asked Pads to be godfather." James said.
Calandra looked back over to where Sirius was, still holding the tiny baby carefully in his arms. He was oblivious to the world around him, talking softly to the little bundle, swaying back and forth unintentionally.
"I couldn't think of a anyone better." She said.
She stood and watched Sirius with Harry, and her heart felt like it would burst. She'd never be able to give him this. It wasn't fair to him, no matter how much he insisted that he didn't care. He deserved someone who could give him this.
She smiled and blinked the tears away, then reached over and squeezed Lily's hand.
"I'll go make some tea." She said. "You must be exhausted."
"Oh, you don't have to do that." Lily said, readjusting herself against the pillows.
"My pleasure!" Calandra said. "Have you eaten anything at all today?"
"What?" James said, tearing his gaze away from his son. "No, she hasn't. Sorry, love, I'll go grab something."
"No." Calandra pushed him back down on the couch. "You stay. Rest. Stare at your beautiful baby boy. I've got it covered."
Calandra pecked Sirius on the cheek as she went into the kitchen. With a flick of her wand she filled the teakettle and looked through the cabinets. What should she fix Lily? Were you supposed to stay away from certain foods after having a baby? Was there anything you should definitely eat?
Finally, Calandra settled on eggs and toast. She put plates and mugs on a tray and reminded herself to ask Alice what kinds of foods she could fix to help the two women out. She levitated the tray into the room where the others were and handed out steaming mugs of tea.
Lily took a sip and settled back against the pillows next to James who now held Harry. Sirius held a camera up and snapped pictures, as happy as a child on Christmas morning.
"Would you like to hold him, Cals?" James asked Calandra.
"Of course." she said and moved to sit beside him.
James tucked Harry's blanket more snugly around him and gently eased him into Calandra's arms. He sat back and put an arm around Lily, pulling her close. Calandra looked down at the baby in her arms and smiled. Bright green eyes stared up at her. Harry's little nose scrunched up and he let out a yawn. She felt the sofa dip beside her, and Sirius stroked a finger across Harry's head.
"He's something else, isn't he?" he asked.
Calandra nodded and leaned against Sirius. They sat back against the cushions and cooed at Harry, telling him sweet whispers of their love, and tickling his chin. Calandra felt like crying tears of her own when Harry let out a wail. She handed him back to his mother and Lily rocked her son.
"Ohh, what's the matter little love?" Lily asked, checking his nappy. "You're not wet my sweet boy. Are you hungry?"
Calandra smiled as James shuffled from foot to foot, asking if Lily needed anything. She and Sirius excused themselves, promising to come visit again the next day. Sirius pulled James in for a fierce hug and kissed Lily's cheek. They bid their goodbyes and swirled back to the flat in the green flames of the floo.
Sirius turned to Calandra with a radiant smile on his face and let out a breath. He shook his head in wonder and laughed.
"Prongs has a baby." He said. "Little Prongslet. James is a dad."
Calandra smiled and nodded.
"A bit hard to actually believe, really." Sirius walked toward the kitchen. "I knew eventually they'd have a baby, but now that he's here, it's just…. I can't really believe it. He's so tiny."
She watched him walk absentmindedly around the room, his face still glowing. She thought about the future, his future with her. It would always be missing something for him. There would never be any babies with grey eyes and dark hair for her, no matter how badly she wanted him to have them.
"Love."
Calandra came to, realizing Sirius had been speaking to her.
"Sorry." She said with a quick smile.
"Want tea?" he asked, holding out a cup.
"No thanks." Calandra shook her head. "I'm going to head back to bed. It's been a crazy couple of days."
"You sure?" Sirius peered at her.
She nodded and kissed his cheek. She went to their bedroom and kicked her shoes off, lost in thought. She changed into pajamas and curled up in the bed, pulling the duvet up around her. Tears leaked out of her eyes.
She wouldn't ever have children. There was no way she'd ever take a chance of another little girl feeling like she did growing up. Did Sirius think she'd change her mind now? Did he really understand why she'd never do that?
She felt the duvet shift and soft hands pulled her back against a long warm body. Sirius rested his head in the crook of her neck and twined his fingers with hers. She pressed her feet against his legs and listened to him breathe behind her.
"I know what you're thinking." He said softly.
"I doubt it." Calandra said. "We've never studied Divination."
"I don't need a crystal ball to know what you're thinking." He replied.
His thumb stroked her hand.
"It doesn't change anything." He said.
She remained silent.
"I don't want anything but you." Sirius said. "I meant what I said."
"That was before you realized what you could have. What you'd be missing out on." Calandra said quietly.
Sirius shifted and climbed over her, turning to lay face to face with her. He slid an arm under her head and looked at her.
"I always knew." He said. "I thought about what you said, long and hard. I didn't take it lightly. Just ask James."
He brushed Calandra's hair out of her face.
"You're not the only one with reasons for not wanting children, Cals."
Calandra looked up at him and searched his eyes.
"It's bad enough having to live with a name like mine, I don't want to saddle a kid with that." He said.
She shook her head.
"You can change your name." she said.
"I could," he replied. "But they'd all still know. My heir would either be the laughingstock of pureblood society or the dark stain on the rest of the wizarding world. Either way, a whole slew of people would hate them."
"I don't want that." He said.
"What if you wake up one day and regret it?" she asked. "I couldn't live with myself; it would be my fault."
He pulled her close and kissed he forehead. His hands came up to cradle her face as he looked into her eyes.
"I'll never regret a life lived with you." he whispered.
