I am so happy to finally get this to you all! my life has been a roller coaster lately.

Thank you so much for your reviews and for reading! This is the longest chapter yet, hope you like it. let me know :)

Rated M Scene ahead.

enjoy xoxo

disclaimer: I own nothing


Rory wakes to complete darkness hours later. She takes a deep breath and blinks a few times. Jess lies sleeping next to her, one arm pressed on top of hers and loosely holding her hand. She smiles warmly and rubs her thumb ever so gently across his knuckle, although she's sure it wouldn't wake him anyway. She closes her eyes and tries to find sleep again, but it becomes obvious that it's not going to happen as her mind won't quiet down. She sighs and carefully moves away from Jess and gets out of bed, tip toeing to the bathroom. Closing the door behind her, she hits the lights and takes in her thirty-three year-old-self. The grin on her face grows, as she vaguely remembers that Jess changed her into one of his shirts to sleep in instead of her brand new dress. Her hands skim over her face; she tuts because she did exactly what her mom told her not to - fell asleep with her makeup on. But then she giggles, because everything about her right now looks so messy, and it feels so fun and free compared to her typical perfectionist self. The mascara smeared across her eyes, lipstick faded and cracking, skin feeling so dry from having powder makeup sit on it for too long. And her hair, totally tussled from dancing for hours the day before. She stares a little longer at her reflection, hands ghosting from her face down her figure, then resting against the sink. Her smile is slowly accompanied by glorious tears as she comes to this truth: she is a mess on the outside, but in complete contrast to herself a year ago, everything inside feels wonderfully whole.

After sitting with that swell of elation for a beat, she turns to her toiletry bag that Jess left in the bathroom for her. She washes her face and brushes her hair before putting it into a ponytail. She grabs one of the Inn's oversized robes and a pair of slippers, wrapping herself up. Shutting the light off, she silently steps through the room and out the door, putting her slippers on before she walks on the grass and into the Dragonfly. She walks through the dim halls towards the kitchen, mind occupied with happy thoughts and serene smile on her face.

"Hey missy! You're not supposed to be awake."

She jumps and holds a hand to her racing heart as Lorelai's loud hiss of a whisper frightens her. She looks up at her mom standing in the hallway before her, in matching robe and slippers.

"Mom! I'm still on London time. Why are you awake?"

Lorelai gives her an expectant look with her hands in the air.

"Hello? It's your birthday."

Rory's body softens and she timidly crosses her arms over her middle.

"The birthday tradition, of course. Is it 4am already?"

"It sure is, and it would have been the perfect amount of time for me to get from my room to yours to be there to wake you up at 4:03am. But, here you are. Messing with tradition. Almost as unforgivable as the pain of labor. Like-"

"Doing the splits on a crate of dynamite," Rory finishes her sentence, smile wider now, "sorry mom. I just couldn't fall back asleep. I'm so…happy."

"Oh, honey," Lorelai says sweetly, stepping closer to her daughter, "that's the best reason for not being able to sleep. No apology necessary."

"I was going to make some coffee in the kitchen, if you don't mind."

"Me? Mind a fresh pot of coffee? Never!" Lorelai links her arm with Rory's, and they walk to the kitchen together.

"I'll do the honors birthday girl, you take a seat."

"Thanks, is there leftover cake?"

"Of course," Lorelai grins over her shoulder, "in the fridge. There's leftover cake and then there's cakes that Sookie made in case you didn't like the final cake."

"As if I have ever not liked something that Sookie made. I love that crazy woman."

Rory responds, opening the giant fridge and pulling out the remnants of her birthday cake.

"Oh, you should have tried her food when she was pregnant the first time. She completely lost her sense of taste. It was all terrible. That was a rough time for all of us."

"I'm sure it was just as hard on you as it was on Sookie whose entire existence and purpose revolves around being an excellent chef."

"Boy, thirty-three year old Rory is sassy!" Lorelai sing songs, then as the coffee machine starts percolating, she turns to her with a proud smile, "I love it."

"Don't forget, I had to get it from someone," Rory smirks, handing a fork to her mom so she can eat cake with her.

"Oh, yes, the sass, the brains, the good tase in music, and those ravishing good looks - all from moi!"

"Absolutely. But the modesty, definitely not from you."

Lorelai laughs and nods in agreement.

"Definitely not. Not from Christopher either. I think that's all you babe."

Lorelai gets up to pour them cups of coffee, then sits back down close to Rory. The two women sip and take small bites of cake in silence for a few minutes.

"So…you and Jess are good. More than good judging by that big purple mark on your neck. It just seems to keep growing, like the blob."

Rory blushes and pulls the robe tighter around her body.

"Yes, we're good. We need to talk some more, but we're good. Mom, he wrote me notes in the margins of the chapter I gave him. He bared so much to me, about the past and the present. And he ended it with this…beautiful declaration of his love for me. I have never felt so seen, or so cared about before, romantically I mean. Things feel so real. Like…I'm in a new relationship for the last time in my life. It kind of knocks the breath out of me."

Lorelai smiles warmly over at her, "I get that feeling. It's freaking powerful, in a good way."

"It is. Nothing about it scares me. Not Jess, not his feelings or his passionate words. I'm not afraid of our future or living together, in fact I can't wait for it. I'm…exhilarated."

"Good! That's how you should feel when you're in love with the right person," she holds her hand briefly. Lorelai then carefully asks, "Did you…get your closure then?"

The smile on her face fades away and she nods.

"It wasn't the closure I wanted, but I did get it."

Lorelai looks her daughter over with a sympathetic smile.

"God, I know that feeling too. I'm sorry he let you down again."

Rory shrugs, "it's okay. It made me realize that me believing in him and pushing him just frustrates and exhausts me, while it doesn't seem to affect him at all. He has to want to be better and he just doesn't, but that has nothing to do with me anymore. He's nothing at all like Jess, I don't know how I ever was happy with him."

"You were different for a while, hun. Don't forget. You've come a long way. Full circle, if you will," Lorelai winks and pats her on the hand, "and I've asked myself that a hundred times about your father. At least you didn't make all the same mistakes with Logan as I did with Christopher. Hey, if he ever calls you in desperation to help with his fussy baby, hang up immediately. That's not a door you want to enter."

Rory clears her throat and looks away, before she can respond a new voice comes from behind them.

"Well, I didn't expect to see you two up and about at this hour. I saw you drinking shots like water last night."

Lorelai's face pales and her smile drops at Emily's voice. Both girls turn around to see Emily fully awake and dressed, makeup and hair done, standing by the door to the kitchen. Rory smiles and walks over to her to hug her.

"Grandma, what are you doing up and ready for the world? Want some leftover cake?" Rory asks sweetly, pulling her grandmother towards it.

"Oh, you hardly sleep as you get older. I've been up for over an hour. And no thank you, cake for breakfast should be allowed for the birthday girl only."

Lorelai looks up at Emily mid bite, then pulls it away from her mouth.

"What about the woman that birthed her? At the ripe age of sixteen, mind you! I get cake too," she decrees, bringing the forkful back to her mouth.

"And whose fault is that? That you got pregnant so young and went through birth alone?"

Lorelai drops the fork and sighs heavily.

"Mom, it was just a joke. Just a silly thing to say so I can feel better about eating cake at 4 in the morning in front of you."

Emily walks past them to pour herself a cup of coffee.

"You and your jokes. Maybe you should have a laugh track ready on your phone to indicate to others when you are trying to be funny," Emily cuttingly quips, "So, who is going to fill me in on what you two were discussing before I made my presence known?" She turns to them again, coffee and saucer in hand as she steps back towards the counter they are eating at. The two women exchange looks, Rory bites at her lip nervously. At Emily's raised eyebrow, she finally speaks.

"Grandma, there's a lot I haven't told you about my life in the last year or so."

Emily sips her coffee, then nods and places the cup carefully back on its saucer.

"As is your right."

Lorelai gapes, but Emily speaks again before she can argue.

"She is my granddaughter, I don't expect her to share everything with me. You are my daughter. You should be sharing everything with me."

Lorelai rolls her eyes before her mouth morphs into a mischievous smirk.

"Well, earlier me and Luke -"

"Lorelai," Emily rolls her eyes and huffs, "don't you dare say something lewd."

"But you said you wanted all the details of my life mom."

"The appropriate ones! Like if you win the lottery or move to another town or decide to get a divorce, those types of things. Not the private activities you partake in with your husband."

Lorelai opens her mouth to say something smart again, but then smiles warmly.

"My husband. I don't know why that sounds extra special coming from your mouth."

Emily's face smooths into a rare look of regret.

"Perhaps because I tried to trample all over your relationship a number of times," she admits quietly. Lorelai stares back at her with a soft look.

"I always thought I was doing what was best for you, you know. Your father too."

It's not exactly an apology, but Lorelai knows it is as close to one as she will get from her mother. With a small smile, Lorelai places her hand on top of Emily's and squeezes it once.

"I know. I wish you could see that Luke has always been the best person for me, but I do get it. I'm a mom too, you know."

Mother and daughter share a gentle look of understanding, and Rory almost wants to leave them to talk more. But she recognizes this as an appropriate opportunity to bring up her secrets.

"And…I was almost one too." The words come out anxious and quiet, testing the waters to proceed. Both Emily and Lorelai still, Lorelai watching Emily and Emily focused on Rory. After a moment she takes a deep breath through her nose and places her coffee down in front of her. She reaches across the empty space between them to hold Rory's hand in hers for a moment, imploring her to go on.

"I got pregnant by accident last year. Around this time. But then I had a miscarriage. And then I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to…unplan for that."

Emily surveys her face, soft but discerning. The three Gilmore women sit in heavy silence, the younger of the three waiting for Emily to say something. She looks across the room, an introspective look on her face. Finally, after minutes of silence, she speaks.

"Yes. That's exactly how it feels. I had never been able to describe it before, but you're exactly right. It feels like someone has thrown away a puzzle piece to your life and you are somehow to supposed to still put it back together in its absence," she takes a breath and adds quietly, "Somehow build around that empty space."

Lorelai gasps softly, and Emily turns her gaze back to them.

"I'm sorry you went through that, Rory. It's a horrible experience."

"Mom…. you never told me…" Lorelai whispers, looking at her mother in a new light. Emily smiles dolefully.

"You weren't supposed to be an only child. Your father and I tried for two years after you. We wanted one more at least, though we talked about maybe two. But at a certain point, it became more trouble than it was worth. I became depressed and felt like a worthless woman. And, to be frank, it took the fun out of our intimacy. It wasn't going to happen for us, not without pain and heartache. So after a number of failed pregnancy tests and three miscarriages, we decided to stop focusing on it."

Lorelai closes her eyes and places a hand on her chest, "Oh, mom. I had no idea. I always thought you only wanted one kid, or that I was so much trouble you didn't want to deal with another."

Emily rolls her eyes but smiles playfully, "You were no match for me, my dear. Yes, we wanted a bigger family. I even got pregnant again when you were five years old but miscarried once more. After that, I had a tubal litigation. I couldn't take the disappointment anymore."

"Grandma," Rory says softly, standing up to hug her, "I'm so sorry. It was traumatic going through it once, I can't imagine how four times must have felt."

Emily pats her on the back, "Enough about me, dear. It was a long time ago. I only wanted you to know that I understand."

Rory pulls away and gives her a look full of gratitude. She sits back down again, feeling a sort of bittersweet relief at this shared experience with her grandmother. Emily picks up her coffee and takes a few sips.

"How far along were you?"

"Two months."

"Were you taken good care of? Did you go to the hospital with your mother?"

Rory looks away, feeling a bit ashamed.

"I went to the hospital, Paris convinced me to. But Mom was on her honeymoon."

Emily looks sharply at Lorelai, "And you couldn't be bothered to fly home?"

Rory jumps to her defense, "No! I didn't tell her. I didn't tell anyone besides Paris and Jess until after Christmas. I just…didn't want to burden anyone. It was all my fault, the whole pregnancy thing. I felt a lot of shame and responsibility with all of it."

Emily fixes her with a strong, knowing look.

"Why? Because you were having an affair with Logan?"

Rory's eyes whip to meet hers, and she's surprised at the absence of judgment on her grandmother's face.

"I heard you and your mother talking when I came in here. Just put two and two together," she shrugs easily, "But you weren't engaged to anyone, Rory. You have nothing to feel ashamed of."

"No…but I was dating someone at the time."

Emily waves her hand to dismiss this, "Oh, please. You're meant to play the field as a young lady, see what you want in a husband one day. He's the one that had made a serious commitment to a woman. Not to mention, an arrangement worth millions of dollars to both families. This has Logan written all over it. Like father, like son. God complexes built off such an inflated sense of self it's a wonder their heads can fit through regular sized doorways," Emily goes off, and Rory catches her mom trying to stifle a giggle out of the corner of her eye, "I'll say it again Rory, it's a good thing you did not end up with that philanderer. He may have had me fooled back in the day, but I see right through him now. It's all his fault, isn't it?"

"I wouldn't say all his fault…"

"Don't protect that imbecile. You're way too intelligent to let a mistake of that sort happen at that age, with an engaged man no less. It was all him. I just know it. God, I would love to have a talk with those hoity-toity parents of his! Let them know that their 'impressive' son can't even manage to use birth control properly, as is evidence of both yours and Odette's pregnancy! What a dolt."

Rory can't help the raucous laugh that finally escapes her, "Don't worry, he knows how much of a 'dolt' he is. I told him."

Emily's mouth curves into a proud smile and all three women share a satisfied giggle at the same time. Rory looks between her mom and grandmother, absorbing the radiant love and support she feels from the two most important women in her life. She takes both of their hands.

"I love you both. So much. I'm so grateful for our relationship. I'm the luckiest daughter and granddaughter I know."

Lorelai's eyes mist and she grasps Rory's hand tightly.

"That's my dream come true for you, babe. I want you to always feel loved and supported. I know I failed to make you feel that way a few times in your life, and I may inadvertently do it again someday. But I genuinely just want to be your cheerleader and your safety net."

"I have been jealous of your relationship many times," Emily confesses quietly to Rory and Lorelai, "you two are so connected and in sync with each other. And I've let that jealousy keep me from really enjoying our time together on occasion, and it's caused me to be unnecessarily cruel to you, Lorelai. But I see now that you two needed each other in that way. Rory's father failed her, and you had to step into both roles at a young age. What the two of you have is incredible. And I'm sorry if I ever tried to stand in the way of that."

All eyes water now, and Rory lets out a chuckle.

"Gosh, this is turning into a mushy birthday morning."

Lorelai laughs and pulls her hand from Rory's to wipe her eyes. Emily squeezes Rory's hand once more before pulling away.

"I need more coffee," Lorelai declares as she gets up. Emily and Rory share a look and smile. Emily studies her granddaughter as she sips from her coffee mug.

"You're radiant, dear. Much more vivacious than I was at thirty-three. Though that was probably because of your mother's endless energy. She could zap the life right out of me some days."

Rory grins kindly, "I'm sure you were radiant."

"We'll never know, I don't have many pictures from when I was younger," Emily shrugs, then more seriously pleads, "Make sure Jess takes lots of pictures of you. And with you. You will want them when you're my age."

Rory deflates, "Oh, Grandma. But you had lots of portraits with Grandpa."

"Yes, portraits. Perfectly primped and posed photographs," she sighs forlornly, "I wish I had more photos of us laughing together, kissing, talking to each other, pictures of us really living our lives. Make sure you get those with Jess. I mean it."

Rory's chest swarms with warm feelings, appreciating Emily's easy acceptance of her relationship and even discussing its future. She once again gets up and hugs her.

"We will. Thank you."

Emily nods and as they pull apart she asks, "Things are okay now. Right? Better than last year I hope?"

Rory takes a deep breath and nods a few times.

"Things are better than okay. Beyond better than a year ago. I love my job, I love my family, I even love myself most of the time. And…I really love Jess."

Emily grins and nods, "Good. What you went through is a deep, dark hole that's difficult to crawl out of. But you did it. You get your strength from your mother."

"And you, Grandma. I get it from you too."

Emily smiles appreciatively at her, "I'm proud of you, Rory. And your grandfather would be telling you the same thing if he were here today."

Rory hugs her again quickly before she gets emotional.

"Wow all the Gilmore girls in my kitchen this morning, how lucky am I?" Sookie's upbeat voice breaks Emily and Rory apart as she walks into the kitchen.

"Oops I just finished the pot of coffee, sorry Sookie. I'll make more," Lorelai promises and turns back to do so.

"No surprise there. Hi, happy birthday chickadee!" Sookie beams at Rory and gives her a big hug.

"Thank you! I hope we didn't wake you up."

"Oh, nonsense, I'm up to cook. You know you're getting a big ol' delicious birthday breakfast don't you?"

Rory smiles excitedly, "I am?"

"Of course, honey. What kind of birthday would it be without coffee, your friends and family, and Sookie's special bananas foster pancakes?" Lorelai grins, placing an arm around her daughter.

"A very mediocre one indeed."

"Yes, yes and the reigning Lorelai does not associate herself with the mediocre, does she?"

Rory smiles lovingly up at her mom, "She does not."


The four women talk and laugh in the kitchen for the next couple of hours, until employees come in to help Sookie finish breakfast. Rory leaves to head back to her room with an easy smile on her face and two hot mugs of coffee in her hands. When she gets to the door of the bungalow, she finds a tall vase of big, bright sunflowers waiting outside. She opens the door to place the coffee mugs inside, then picks up the flowers curiously. The door closes with a soft thud behind her as she enters the room again. She looks towards the bed when she hears Jess yawn, and she grins at his half nude body tangled up in the covers as he slowly wakes up.

"Good morning," she cheerfully greets him, sitting on the side of the bed and holding out a coffee to him. He hums lazily, eyes still not quite open all the way.

"Morning," he finally mumbles back, throwing his arm over his eyes. She places the mug of coffee down on the table next to him and leans down to kiss him on the head.

"Know anything about the sunflowers that were sitting outside the door?"

Jess suddenly throws his arm off his face and sits up with a groan.

"Fuck! Fuck. Oh, Rory. Fuck," he exclaims, rubbing his hands over his tired eyes and then tugging at his hair. He sighs and looks over at her with an apologetic smile.

"Come here," he says quietly, opening his arms up wide to her. She gladly obliges, and thrums as he cradles her in his arms and kisses her repeatedly on the head.

"Happy birthday, baby."

"Thank you," she grins. He kisses her sweetly on the lips.

"I was supposed to get up before you. Get you coffee and get the flowers, Jackson dropped them off for me. I was going to run you a bubble bath and read you a couple stories from the book I'm working on. I had a real nice morning planned, Ror, I swear," he insists, squeezing her to emphasize this, "I even planned to wake you up in a very memorable way that involved my mouth and fingers."

She blushes and gives him a sympathetic smile, "That all sounds so nice, Jess. It's okay. We can still do those things later."

He kisses her palm, "Oh, we will. But I still feel terrible. I didn't expect you to get up before," he looks at the clock, "Jesus, seven am. You were exhausted last night. And I stayed up and had a couple more drinks with Lane and Paris."

"You did? I love that," Rory grins.

"Yeah, it was more entertaining than you would think listening to Paris try to buy the eggs right out of Lane. She pulled out almost every bribe in the book, she even offered to leverage Doyle to somehow get the band a connection in Hollywood. I personally think she was bluffing on that one."

Rory laughs at that, "Paris doesn't bluff. And I'm genuinely shocked Lane didn't take that offer."

"She thought about it. Hard. Then Paris mentioned she would need to inject hormones regularly and that's when I learned Lane is terrified of needles."

She laughs again, a warmth seizing her chest at the thought of this whole fun and friendly conversation between three people that mean the world to her. She has that thought once again, that Jess fits so perfectly into her life now. He runs a hand through his messy bed hair and continues, "But anyway, I expected you to sleep a minimum of twelve hours. You were fucking exhausted. I had an alarm set on my watch for 7:30…how long have you been awake?"

She looks at him bashfully, "Four am."

His eyes widen, "Okay. I had zero chance. That makes me feel slightly less horrible. Damn Rory, what have you been doing for three hours?"

She grins happily, "Talking to mom, Grandma and then Sookie. We were all up early, mom was on her way to our room at 4am to do my traditional birthday wake up ritual where she tells me the horror story of my birth when I ran into her."

"Sounds like you saved me from another inappropriate and early Lorelai wake up call. Thank you."

"Any time," she nods and giggles, which slowly turns into a pensive look.

"We stayed up and drank coffee and Grandma was up, and we just…talked. I told her about the baby and the miscarriage and everything," she swallows, "and I'm glad I did because in return she shared something with me that I don't think she would have told me otherwise. It was…sad but, in a weird way, nice to connect like that. I didn't expect it at all. Then when Sookie showed up it was all fun and giggles for a couple of hours."

She smiles and he matches it.

She then says softly, "It's been the perfect birthday morning, Jess."

He nods and listens intently to her every word, running his hand lovingly up and down her arm. She is still deep in thought, he can tell by the slight furrow of her brow and so he patiently waits for her to continue with an encouraging smile.

"It doesn't matter that my dad wasn't around," she finally states with quiet determination. She looks up and meets Jess's eyes, full of tender care and kindness for her. When she doesn't continue, he whispers, "You didn't need him."

She shakes her head slowly.

"I didn't need him. The relationships I have with my mom, my grandmother, with Lane and Paris, and other women throughout my life are beautiful and fulfilling relationships that have helped me grow in one way or another. My childhood and youth, even my adulthood - it's not missing anything without him. In fact, if there was a world where he was a constant in my life, but it took any of my time away from those people - I wouldn't want it. He doesn't compare. No man could. No offense to Luke."

Jess surveys her face gently, mouth slowly forming into a small, proud smile.

"I figured from the beginning that might be where the book you were writing would take you. Because that's what the Gilmore girls are all about, isn't it? Complex but strong, supportive, relationships between women living fulfilling lives that could subsist on the love between them alone. And you have grown the biggest heart from that love, which says everything about your mom and your upbringing."

"Yes. You're absolutely right," she looks at him, a look of cognizance dawning on her face, "I knew you would be the best editor for me."

His mouth twitches into an untamable smile.

"Does that mean you're going to start writing again?"

She shakes her head slowly, "I'm not quite there yet."

He nods perceptively and she continues.

"Something about that brings me peace though. Knowing that no matter what, things would have been okay. I'm proof. My mom is proof. My grandmother is proof."

She doesn't need to specify the 'what', he knows exactly what she means. His eyes lock on hers as he infers, "There would have be no lack of love, even without him in the picture, Rory. You're right. Your kid would have had a full heart and plenty of people to rely on. Whether they were biological family or not. Just like you."

She nods in agreement, and whispers, "Including you."

His head moves up and down, nodding deeply in confirmation, "Including me."

She takes a deep breath, letting his words settle through her.

She continues her previous thoughts, "It's not about the men we date or the mistakes we have made with them. And it's not about our failures or success. It's about how we handle those things together, always knowing, even at times when we're mad at each other, that we have each other's back always."

Jess nods in agreement.

"You don't need anyone else but each other. Trust me, I'm under no illusions that you need me. And I know Luke is under no illusions that Lorelai needs him."

Rory's lips curve up high, and she wraps her arms around his neck.

She murmurs against the back of his ear, "I may not need you, but I absolutely want you."

He sucks in a breath and holds her tighter.

"I'm forever grateful for that."

"And you want me too, right? After reading my note and everything?" she asks, fingers fidgeting in his hair. He pushes her back slightly to look her in the eyes. His are more brown this morning, surrounded by a striking ring of gray. Hers closer to sapphire than her usual cerulean shade.

"Of course. I want you as you are, Rory. You're everything to me," he repeats his words from the night before, realizing that she was too sleepy to remember. She melts in his arms.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel any differently. That wasn't at all my intention with the Logan stuff."

She nods in understanding, "I know. But I realize that as much as we might hope they do, our issues are never going to disappear completely. I guess I just wanted to make sure we are both okay with that."

"More than okay Rory," he insists. She looks for any uncertainty in his face.

"You're sure? Because even though I told you I'm done with Logan, he is still in my past you know. Our history is a part of me, a part of my life. It will affect me sometimes."

Jess takes a breath and a beat, to gather his thoughts and communicate them in a way that will make her understand.

"Yes. I want you to be comfortable with showing me those parts of yourself. I don't want you to ever be afraid to tell me your thoughts or feelings. I can't promise for sure that I will never react poorly again, like I did the other day. And I don't expect you to perfectly deal with my issues either. You can yell at me, ice me out, push me away - whatever you feel like you need to do in those moments. As long as we both promise to find our way back to each other, we will be okay," he squeezes her at her waist and holds her steady with deep eye contact, elucidating this commitment, "And Rory, I do promise you that."

Her throat tightens with coursing emotions, her heart stirs with deep affection. Genuine and intense understanding emanates all around and between them, acceptance sits peacefully in their chests as they regard each other with unguarded adoration. They know this is a turning point, and the growth of their relationship is palpable.

"I promise too. We will be okay," Rory confirms quietly, "Neither one of us is perfect. But there's no reason we can't work on ourselves together."

The smile that appears on Jess's face is warm and loving, she watches as his chest moves a pace ahead of his breath, as though trying to keep up with the flood of feelings in his body. He dances his calloused fingers down the soft skin of her arms, until he reaches her hands and holds them tightly.

"Can we start this again?"

She looks at him curiously, lips curved in an expectant and sweet grin.

"Will you be my, very serious, girlfriend Rory Gilmore?"

Her grin widens and she nods, "Yes. But I don't want to throw away the last month. I was your girlfriend then too. I want the love and the mess, all of it is us. We don't need to start again. Unless you want to because of the note…"

He holds her face to his and kisses her deeply. He pulls back, observing every detail of her features while his hands caress her cheeks and her hair. He shakes his head.

"About your note. I'm sorry he put you through that. I'm sorry he let you down again."

She shrugs, "I'm more worried about him letting down his son and wife. But it's his burden, not mine."

"It might be his burden and his choices, but they still impact you. I could tell you felt wrecked when you called me from London."

She bites her lip and shrugs again, "It did suck, and it did hurt. But I really am okay now. I'm…absolving myself of any emotional responsibility. And I might have to remind myself of that multiple times, but I'm committed to it. I tried to help him, and he doesn't want it."

Jess gives her a serious but sympathetic look.

"He doesn't deserve you, he never did. I won't back down on that fact."

Her eyes roam over his face.

"Speaking of that. The one thing I didn't like about your margin notes is how you make it sound like you're undeserving of me. That's insane, Jess. And it won't be good for our relationship if you continue to think that way."

"Rory…I've made a lot of progress with a lot of the unfavorable parts of myself. But I don't think that's something that is going to change."

"But you said yourself that we are equals in this. That we're together in it. I'm not better than you in any way."

"Yes you are."

"Don't say that. I'm serious."

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

"Why does it bother you so much?"

"Because I know you, Jess. I know that if you think you're undeserving of me, that you will be putting unnecessary pressure on yourself at times, and I don't want that."

He contemplates her words silently.

She adds quietly, "And I'm not some perfect angel. There's no reason for you to feel that way."

"You are to me."

She blushes slightly but shakes her head, "Jess. I mean it."

He exhales, his eyes wander over her face.

"Rory…I don't know what to tell you. I don't expect you to be perfect by any means, but that doesn't mean that I don't think you are perfect. Or better than me."

"I'm not! I'm not better than anyone."

"I beg to differ."

"Jess. I'm not joking. I don't want you to think I'm better than you or that you have to try for the rest of your life to be 'good enough' for me. You are the best for me, we are the best together."

He swallows and takes a beat before responding.

"I know what you're saying, I do. I didn't mean to make you feel like I've put you on a pedestal or anything. But the truth is you have influenced me to be a better person, like you. And I aspire to have a heart like yours. I don't think it will ever happen, but I do hold your love in high regard. With all that said, you have given me a lot of credit I don't think I deserve either. You say that I've changed your life, helped you find yourself again - I didn't do anything but care about you and support you, Rory. I'm not a magician, as much as I'd like to be."

She smirks at his joke and ponders over his words.

"I hold your love in high regard too. You make me feel so special. Your heart is beautiful, so don't ever change the way you love. Because I've never felt a love that reaches as deep into me as yours. You make me feel it in my bones, Jess. Do you know what that feels like? It's incredible."

The look in his eyes showers her in love and adoration, and her body weakens under the intensity of it. Then, the curve of his hypnotic crooked smile indicates to her that something clever is about to come out of his beautiful mouth.

"I know exactly what that feels like," his eyebrow raises, he takes her hand and without breaking eye contact, places it in his lap where his shorts have tented, "I'm feeling it very deeply in this bone right here, right now."

"So silly. And so dirty," she rolls her eyes but giggles, "we have to get ready! There's a big breakfast being made for little old me."

His smirk only deepens, "I know for a fact there is nothing on that table that I want to eat more than you."

She blushes and gawks, "Jess! Sookie's hard at work. We can't be late!"

"Me too," he grabs her face and kisses her hard, then takes faux bites of her cheeks and neck, "I'm trying to have my breakfast in bed here, but she's not cooperating."

Rory giggles in his arms, but tries to shake herself free from his hold, "I need to shower!"

He suddenly stops and lets go of her. He gets up and pulls on her hand to drag her off the bed.

"Perfect, I like my breakfast extra wet."

"So dirty!" she exclaims, but the big smile on her face betrays her excitement. He winks.

"Trust me, we are both going to be very, very clean by the time we're done."

He starts to pull her towards the bathroom, but she stops him.

"Wait! Can we take a picture together? Before I get all clean and dolled up?"

His first instinct is to decline, he is not a picture person at all, but her pleading eyes convince him to agree. He nods. She smiles brightly and pulls out her phone, turning it towards them. Right as she goes to take the picture, Jess turns his head and kisses her sweetly on the cheek. The result causes a fluttering in her chest, and they don't take another.


After showering more quickly than Jess wanted, they get changed and leave the cottage. Rory, with all her excitement and energy, skips ahead of him towards the Inn. Jess's eyes rove over her with an appreciative grin; she's wearing a short, breezy lilac colored dress. Jess watches as it skims across the top of her thighs, ending just below the roundness of her bottom. Not feeling satiated from the shower, he bites his lip and adjusts himself as he catches up to her. He holds her hand, and she smiles up at him. They walk through the back door to the inn. Jess quickly surveys the area and tugs on Rory's arm to pull her down a hallway.

"Where are we going? The dining room is the other way."

He pulls her to his side and whispers in her ear, "I know, but I haven't quite had my fill yet."

She gapes as he opens various doors, "again?!"

He finally finds a large supply closet and pulls her inside.

"What can I say? I'm infatuated with you," he says the words so casually, it takes her a second to realize. She tries to stop from smiling.

"Jess…everyone is waiting for us."

There is no fight in her words, rather annoyance at the inconvenience of the obligation. It makes him grin.

"So what? You're the birthday girl, they can't start without you. Let them wait," he argues as he finds a folded chair and shoves it under the door handle to keep people out. He turns back to her with a smoldering look and kisses her hard. He pushes her back to press against a wall between shelves of supplies. His hands roam up her bare legs and under the skirt of her dress. She mumbles something into his mouth as he grasps the fabric of her underwear. He tugs at them and then breaks their kiss to pull them all the way down her legs. He drops down to his knees in front of her. He looks up at her as he bunches her dress up to her waist.

"Jess…" she mumbles, "what are you doing?"

"I think you know exactly what I'm doing," he replies as he kisses up her leg.

She blushes, "you just did this in the shower."

"And?" He asks, running his tongue from her thigh to the apex of her legs. She whimpers. He smirks.

"Pretty princesses deserve to come as many times as possible on their birthday," he kisses her lips and mumbles against her, "don't you agree?"

"Yesss," she moans softly as he swirls his tongue in circles around her clit. As he increases the pressure of his strokes and speed, her volume inevitably increases. Jess inches a hand up from her waist and covers her mouth to muffle her moans. Her hands grasp his strong forearm for stability as he relentlessly sucks and nips at her. She looks down to watch and his blazing eyes meet hers. She can see the corner of his crooked smile perk up before he suctions his lips over her clit. Her deep moan of pleasure vibrates against his hand, and he clasps it tighter. Her eyes stay locked on him as he devours her until she's shaking with strained breaths. He concentrates on rhythmic licks until suddenly her whole body quivers and her thighs tighten around his face, he feels her restrained groan against his hand. He slowly removes his body from between her trembling legs, standing up to replace his hand with his mouth on hers. Her hands move from his shoulders down to his pants, she blindly unbuttons and unzips them and tugs at his belt loops. He pulls his face away from hers and smirks.

"You think we have five more minutes to spare?"

She bites her lip and nods, eying the bulge in his pants. He kisses her mouth quickly once more, then grabs her at the hips and turns her body around to face the wall. He releases his erection and lifts her dress up to find her center. He swiftly enters her, and she hums as he moves her hair off her neck to place hot kisses there as he pumps into her. He moves one arm to wrap around her waist, the other slides down her body until he finds her clit with his fingers.

"Oh, Jess," she groans as he pets her sensitive nerves. She feels him smile against her neck.

"I love it when you say my name like that," he mutters against the back of her ear, grinding into her steadily, "say it again."

"Jess," she whines as his fingers apply more pressure to her center, matching up to his now fast, intense thrusts. His breathing is heavy against her neck, and she feels his thrum of appreciation all over her skin. Her climax hits her so suddenly she gasps, grabbing at the shelf next to her as her knees buckle. Jess quickly wraps both arms tight around her waist and holds her snug to his body.

"I got you, baby, I got you. Let yourself go, I got you," he mumbles to her over and over again and he continues the pace of his hips into her. An odd prickling of emotions builds in her eyes. His words and his arms securely wrapped around her body bring an overwhelming sense of comfort. He kisses up her neck and notices this sentiment on her face. He kisses her cheek and then brings his lips back to her ear.

"I always got you, Rory. I'll always take care of you, I'll always catch you, I'll always keep you safe," he continues to whisper promises in her ear even as he reaches his orgasm, "Always, Rory. I plan to give you everything you want and need."

"Jess…" this time it comes out in an affected whisper, and some of the wetness falls from her eyes. He holds her tighter and finds her mouth to kiss her over her shoulder. He pulls away, one arm moves from her waist to affectionately move her hair and hold her face. He kisses her sweetly.

"I promise."

"I love you," she breathes out the words, her eyes wide with adoration. He smiles and lets his eyes wander over her face, treasuring every feeling it conveys. He slowly pulls out of her and gently turns her back around to face him. He holds her face with both hands and kisses her deeply.

"I think I've monopolized enough of your time," he jokes as he adjusts his pants, he leans down to pick up her underwear and hands it to her, "let's go celebrate you, birthday girl."

She grins and takes the underwear, but she stands still against the wall with her legs crossed at the ankle.

"You go ahead, I'll go after you."

He looks at her peculiarly.

"Why? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I just think we should go separately."

He scrutinizes the blush on her face and her posture.

"What's going on?"

She shakes her head. He crosses his arms over his chest.

"Guess we're going to be even later for your birthday breakfast then."

She pouts, but he doesn't give in. His eyebrows raise in anticipation.

"It's embarrassing," she mumbles, fidgeting with the underwear that is still in her hands.

"I strongly doubt that."

She sighs and her eyes roll up to the ceiling, "I need to…clean up. I can't sit at breakfast with my friends and family with…this between my legs. I'm wearing a dress! It could…you know."

Her blush is hot and red and reaches from her ears to her neck. Realization sets in and he turns and looks around the closet.

"Here we go," he mumbles, pulling a travel size package of baby wipes from a shelf. He spins around and grabs a small towel from a stack and turns back to Rory. She has one hand over her eyes. He softly pries it off and gives her an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think about that. Will you let me?" he asks, holding up the supplies.

"Oh Jess, no. You don't have to do that," she replies, trying to grab the items from his hands. He pulls them away from her grip.

"I'll rephrase that. Let me help you."

She bites her lip nervously and nods in approval. He kneels down in front of her again.

"Don't be embarrassed. I'm embarrassed for not realizing. Especially after just telling you that I'll always take care of you," he says, looking up at her from his place between her legs. She gives him a small shrug and a smile.

"It's okay. I usually take care of it myself."

He looks thoughtful as he picks up the towel.

"Want to know a secret?"

Her eyebrows raise in surprise, "Of course."

He stands up slowly and looks around until he finds a trash can.

"I've never not used condoms with another woman."

Rory looks at him, jaw dropped in disbelief as she finally puts her underwear back on.

"No way! Never?"

"Never," he confirms, running a hand through his hair, "though I don't love how shocked you sound."

"I'm sorry," she says, placing a soft hand on his arm, "It's just, I thought all guys did that. It's supposed to feel better, right?"

He looks away and shrugs slightly.

"It definitely feels amazing with you, but I don't think I can attribute that to the lack of protection."

Her mouth perks up, she wraps her arms around herself.

"Don't say things like that, I'll start crying again. This birthday has been emotional enough."

He looks at her and grins slightly.

"The point of sharing that with you is to say I'm sorry I haven't been taking care of you in that way. I haven't experienced it prior to you so…"

"Oh Jess," she hugs him, "I don't expect that, and even if I did, that is the best excuse."

"It doesn't matter that you don't expect it. You deserve it. And I'm not going to ask any details about your past, but I'm even more disappointed in your exes for not showing you that."

She tightens her arms around him, and her smile stretches wider.

"You're the perfect boyfriend," she mutters against his chest. He takes a shaky breath and kisses her head.

"Words I never expected to hear," he admits quietly. She turns her head to look up at him.

"You are, Jess. At least for me."

His lips slip into a twitchy smirk, "You're the only person I want to be a boyfriend to, so that's good to hear."

She giggles and it makes him smile for real.

"Come on, I'm afraid we've given your mom enough time to think of a hundred dirty jokes about why we're late."

He puts his arm around her shoulders and leads her to the door.

"I'm sure a few of them would be accurate."

Jess chuckles and moves the folded chair from in front of the doorknob. He opens it slightly and peeks out. Satisfied with their surroundings, he opens the door all the way and walks her out towards the dining room.

"Jess," Rory whispers. He looks down at her.

"It's kind of like you lost your virginity to me in a way. Right?" she teases, but the excited smile on her face tells him that it genuinely pleases her. He bites his lip to quell his amused grin and kisses her head.

"That's right, pretty princess."

Her smile widens and she enthuses, "That's pretty cool!"

"Yep," he agrees and pulls her closer to mumble in her ear, "I'm very fucking lucky."

They walk into the dining room hand in hand, and Rory is greeted with a chorus of happy birthdays from her loved ones. She beams at them with a big smile.

"Thank you! And thank you for showing up for breakfast. I know some of us drank more than others last night," she eyes Lane with a wink, then surveys the room once more.

"Hey, where's mom and Luke?" she asks as she takes the seat Jess pulls out for her. Her grandmother clicks her tongue.

"They were supposed to be here ten minutes ago. But it seems their detour is taking longer than yours."

Rory's cheeks burn and she quickly spits out, "I fell back asleep! It was an accident."

Jess clears his throat next to her, sitting his elbows on the table and resting his face against his fists. Rory turns and glances at him, and she can tell that there's a giant smirk hiding behind his hands.

"Of course, dear. I wasn't suggesting anything at all," Emily shoots her a wise grin. She feels Jess lean closer to her.

"They do say it takes longer as you get older," he mumbles quietly enough that thankfully no one else catches it. She turns to him and gives him the withering stare, and even with the company that's watching them, he cannot control the urge to lean over and kiss her on her angry lips.

"You guys make me nauseous," Paris grumbles with an eye roll.

"That's probably the two full bottles of wine you ingested last night," Jess quips in response. Paris grunts.

"Don't take shots at me, Dickinson."

"I hope you mean as in Emily and not Janice. Though they are both great in their own ways," Rory looks back and forth between Paris and Jess, realizing she isn't in on some joke. But it doesn't bother her, in fact she finds it so exciting she has to bite back a colossal grin.

"She means Emily," Jess replies with a faux annoyed sigh, "she's read my books too apparently. And she said that I write very deeply about love for someone as reclusive as myself."

Rory doesn't suppress her laugh.

"Well, I did recently learn that you haven't had any serious relationships lately."

Paris snaps her fingers, "See? I knew it. What's the inspiration, Emily?"

Jess rolls his eyes but then turns them towards Rory with a soft, telling look. Her own smile softens in response.

"This conversation is getting awfully confusing. I've never written about love, though I did pen quite a fiery letter to Elvis Presley back in the day," her grandmother sighs nostalgically, "Would you believe his people simply sent me a pin with his face on it in response? What a disappointment. It wasn't his face that interested me at all, it was those hips!"

Her words derive an uncharacteristic laugh from both Jess and Paris.

"A picture of his hips was probably considered pornographic back then, Grandma."

"Everything that he did back then was pornographic, he was the original sex symbol."

"I always thought that was Paul Newman," Rory ruminates.

"And Betty Boop for women," Jess adds with a grin, he leans and whispers in Rory's ear, "you look a little like her in that short dress today. We need to get you a garter with a little heart on it."

She barely bites back her giggle.

"By the way, Jess," Emily sits forward to look over at him, he turns his eyes from Rory to her grandmother, "did you see my email this morning?"

His brow furrows and his mouth opens slightly.

"No?"

She huffs, "I spent a good amount time researching those real estate options, young man. Are you not like every other person in your generation? Do you not frequently check your phone?"

He chuckles, "You're asking me if I check my phone? The person that showed up late to dinner at your house years ago with a black eye and zero cell phone to speak of? I believe back then you called it, 'refreshing'."

Surprisingly, Emily smirks and nods.

"Touche. But you do have your phone on you, don't you? Take a look."

"I don't have it with me," he shakes his head and then realizes something, "How did you get my email?"

"I'm not so old that I don't know how to do a google search. It's on your company's website."

"I wasn't thinking that!" Jess defends himself at Emily's scathing look.

"Oh Jess, let me give you some advice," Lorelai appears between Jess and Rory, Luke is heard grunting in disapproval behind her, "It's not worth it. She's going to think what she wants to think. Just smile pretty and nod."

"'She' is sitting right here!"

"Watch and learn," she whispers to Jess, then turns to her mother with a big smile, "good morning mom! I'm so glad you could stay for breakfast."

Emily sighs, "and what, may I ask, sort of emergency did you have that you're twenty minutes late to your daughter's birthday breakfast that is happening in the same building you slept in?"

Lorelai laughs nervously, Luke walks away mumbling something about helping in the kitchen. Then, luckily, Sookie enters the room with a bottle of champagne and fresh orange juice.

"Mimosas! Yay! Mom, do you want a mimosa?"

"Sit down, Lorelai."

"You sent it to my work email?" Jess turns to Emily for clarification.

"Of course. I hope you don't have your personal email posted online."

Jess runs a hand through his hair, "fuck. My partners get those emails too."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Jess. I completely failed to take that into consideration," Emily apologies, but the smug smile on her face shows her true intent.

"Huh," Jess grunts, then shakes his head and smirks, "you're good."

The smug smile stays put as she shrugs one shoulder.

Lorelai leans in to stage whisper, "Another thing you should know. She's the best. The master manipulator. So good you don't even feel the sting."

Emily shoots her a look, but Lorelai offers her a smile and a wink in return. Emily sighs but returns the smile.

"You know Jess, I happen to have my phone with me. Why don't you and Rory switch seats and I'll show you what I found?"

The request is so bizarre that all Jess can manage to do is acquiesce. Rory stands up to trade spots with him, and whispers a gentle, "sorry" near his ear. He rests a tender hand on her back as they switch spots, letting her know everything is fine.

"There's my dancing queen," Lorelai grins as Rory takes the seat next to her, "are your feet killing you today too?"

"Nope, I'm fine. I told you block heels are the way to go!"

"You can't ask me to get rid of my stilettos! We go so far back, me and my uncomfortable but sexy shoes."

Rory shakes her head, "It's not worth it, mom. I promise. Try block heels. You'll love them."

Lorelai sighs in faux exasperation, "Fine, I promise to buy a pair next time I shop. But only because you're the birthday girl."

"And the reigning Lorelai, don't forget!"

Lorelai grins and leans in to wrap an arm around Rory. She squeezes her tight.

"Hey," Lorelai starts, turning towards her daughter. She looks back at her.

"What?"

"I didn't ask you the most important birthday question."

"What's that?"

Lorelai pulls her in close again, positioning their heads next to each other.

"What do you think of your life so far?"

Rory softens in her mom's grip. Nostalgia, love, and warmth rush through her as she looks around the room, considering the question. The energy surrounding her has her focused on the highlights of the past few years of her life, but also the way these people have been there for her, helped her handle the ugly stuff too. She feels an overwhelming gratefulness for all of it and has to take a calming breath before she turns her head to look up at her mom.

"I think it's pretty good."

Lorelai gives her a knowing smile. Rory turns her head back and leans against her mom. Lorelai runs a hand through her hair, then whispers,

"Any complaints?"

Without thinking about it, Rory's gaze turns towards Jess. She watches as he discusses the pros of a particular location Emily picked out, one hand resting on the table, but she sees his fingers dance in controlled excitement. The other holds a phone in his hand as he scrolls, Emily leans in close to read with him. A sudden grin appears on his face as he hands the phone back to her grandmother, who looks pleased as well. He runs a hand through his hair and his eyes turn towards Rory momentarily. His smile deepens, becomes more genuine before her eyes. He moves the hand on the table to rest secretly on Rory's knee. He winks before turning back to Emily.

Her heart bursts, her stomach fills with butterflies. She feels Lorelai nudge her shoulder, still waiting for an answer. Rory finds Jess's hand under the table on her knee, and she places hers on top. Their eyes lock again as she whispers to Lorelai,

"No. No complaints."


December

"Enjoy your new apartment, sweets. I can't wait come visit once it's all unpacked and ready," Lorelai hugs Rory at the doorway of her and Jess's new home.

"About that, you sure you don't want to stay and help?" Rory asks as they break apart and she looks at the pile of boxes in the hallway leading to their living room.

"Whose fault is it that you and Jess feel the need to buy every book you see? Sorry, but Luke and I should not have to suffer because of your choices."

Jess appears in the hall, walking out of their new bedroom with Luke behind him.

"Jesus, what are you guys going to do with all these books?" Luke grumbles, stepping over boxes and piles.

"A lot of them will go on the bookshelf you just helped me build, obviously," Jess snarks back, he reaches Rory and Lorelai, "thanks for your help. Here, use this to go out to dinner while you're in town. There are a ton of great restaurants near where you're staying."

He reaches into his pocket and holds out money to Lorelai. She grins and leans in to take it. Luke stops her, "Don't take his money. I can take you out to dinner, Lorelai. Jess, we're happy to help."

Lorelai pouts. Jess turns to Rory, and they share an amused look. He turns back to Luke.

"Okay, thanks," he opens his arms for a brief hug, and as Luke leans in, he stealthily places the money in his back pocket. He pats him on the back before pulling away. Rory smiles at Jess, and Lorelai does too but he doesn't notice.

"Alright, let's let these guys fight to the death over what books to keep," Lorelai opens the front door, she winks at Luke, "and let's get back to our hotel."

Luke quickly follows her out, and Rory makes a face at the closed door behind them. Jess chuckles and wraps his arms around her.

"Come on, let's organize our home."

She beams at that, "okay! Bedroom first so we have a place to sleep."

She skips down the hall and he follows after her with a smile. She looks around the bedroom and turns to him.

"We should combine our books on all the book shelves. We can put them in alphabetical order by author. Oh! And for the smaller book shelves, we can pick genres that we have the least books in. Like I don't think either of us are really into science fiction, but I'm also sure we both have science fiction novels anyway."

He looks at her incredulously as she spouts out ideas, "You want to combine our collections? I figured we would split up the bookcases."

She looks offended, and shakes her head adamantly, "No way. Our books should be together, just like we are. It will make them so happy."

He can't stop the wide grin spreading on his face, "Will it make you happy?"

"Yes!"

"Okay. You get started with those boxes over there and I'll open the boxes in the hallway."

As Rory finishes with the books in the bedroom, she starts to unpack other bags and boxes. She opens a box labeled "Yale" and finds all her alma mater paraphernalia. She goes to put it to the side, wanting to use it to decorate her office space but sees a small photo album tucked towards the bottom of the box. She pulls it out timidly, having somewhat of an idea of what she'll find. She opens it, and yes, as she suspected it's all pictures of her and Logan, and his friends, at Yale - at parties, in her dorm room, in his apartment. She gets to the picture of them jumping of that scaffolding with umbrellas, and she slams it shut before any further memories or feelings can invade her special day with Jess. She walks towards the trash.

"You don't have to do that, Rory. If you're doing it for me."

She jumps at his voice, not realizing that he had entered the room. She stands frozen, unsure of what to do. He walks up to her and takes the photo album, turning pages as he takes in small bits of a past that he missed out on.

"It makes you uncomfortable, doesn't it?" she asks quietly, looking over his shoulder. He shakes his head slowly. He runs his finger down a picture of her standing at her favorite coffee cart, a huge smile on her face and a giant coffee in her hand. Logan stands next to her, looking down at her. But Jess pays no mind to him. He simply takes in young adult Rory, this beautiful person that existed in the world that he didn't get to witness.

"It's not that. I missed so much of your life," he admits in a whisper. He runs his hand lovingly over the picture of her once more, then closes the album and sticks it in a box nearby. He turns back to Rory and carefully confesses,

"That's what really bothers me with Logan, I think. He got to experience your growth, and major parts of your life that I missed."

She steps closer to him, "So have you, Jess."

"Maybe I have. But…when we were young, I dreamed of seeing you do amazing things at school. You were already the most incredible person I had ever met, and I knew that you would really become that person more, grow more confident, and I wanted to see it so badly. He got to see it and be part of it. And he's had some access to you since he's met you…right?"

She bites her lip and shrugs, "We stayed in touch after college, yes."

He nods, "That's a long time."

Rory looks over Jess, wanting to spin these thoughts of his and take that look of regret off his face. She smiles softly and steps closer to put her arms around his neck. She looks into his eyes.

"Yes, he was a part of my life for a long time. But Jess…that pales in comparison to how much time I plan to be with you."

His mouth perks up, "How much is that?"

She plays with his hair and states, "I was thinking forever. How do you feel about that?"

With no hesitation, he kisses her deeply.

"That's a pretty good answer," she mutters against his mouth.

Memories of those words strike them both, but it makes them smile despite the circumstances of the last time it was said.

Jess shakes his head, "I can't believe we're both smiling at the thought of that night."

"We've come a long way."

"And yet we have even longer to go."

"Yep. Forever, remember?"

"How could I forget? It's words I've only ever dreamed of hearing from you."

"I know what you mean. Life is so much better than all those dreams now though, isn't it?"

"It is. I don't know how I'll ever take a break to sleep again."

She smiles, "You will. With me by your side."

"You've always been my better half," his face turns serious, his golden gaze locking with her blues, "you make me feel whole."

Her chest seizes at the familiarity of the feeling those words bring. She kisses him.

"I love you, Jess."

He kisses her.

"Never stop. Please."

"Never."

They lock their lips together again. She pulls away.

"You're not going to say it back?" She teases.

He smirks, "I'd rather show you."

He devours her mouth, and his hands hold her face, then glide down her body to grip her behind. They pull apart with a sharp inhale of breath.

"That works."

"That's nothing. I'm not even close to done. Which room do you want to break in first?"

She bites her lip and blushes, looking around them. They stand against a wall in their still unpacked bedroom, surrounded by boxes and books and promises of future memories.

She grins and whispers, leaning back against the wall.

"Take me right here."

He immediately presses his body against hers. Hard, sculpted muscle meets her soft, forgiving flesh. His hands lift one of her legs to wrap around him, and she feels the sure sign that he's ready to take her absolutely anywhere harden against her center. His other hand gently moves to caress her face, holding her cheek in the palm of his hand as his eyes blaze over her features. He leans forward and gives her a soft, teasing kiss. Then ghosts his lips from hers, up her jaw and to the shell of her ear. His voice comes out in a gravelly, affected murmur.

"As you wish," he places a loving kiss behind her ear that makes her shiver in his arms. He then adds softly, words rumbling against her skin and through her body as his lips graze her delicate neck, "forever, Rory. Anything you wish."