Midnight Confessions

A SoMa story

Soul woke up groggy and bleary eyed. The quiet darkness of the room surrounded him even heavier than the comforter on his bed. He twisted to glance at the digital clock on his night stand. He stared for a solid ten seconds, willing the blaring red numbers to form in his mind. Just after midnight. He breathed deeply, it wasn't the first time he had awoke in the middle of the night, it happened every so often. He would feel a tenseness and discomfort some nights and try as he might he knew he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep for a while. He'd been through it enough times to know that.

Tossing the covers off himself he shuffled out of his bedroom and into the hallway. He made his way to the bathroom to relieve himself, not bothering to turn on the lights. He passed Maka's room across the hall on his way to the kitchen. Even at eighteen years old they both still lived in that same apartment from their school days in DWMA. It only seemed natural considering they were still partners even after all these years. Technically they didn't need to stick with each other as weapon and meister pair, but after working together for so long it just felt right to stay together. And although Soul would never admit it out loud, his devotion to his meister went far deeper than just their working relationship. But none of these thoughts crossed his mind as he tiredly retrieved a glass of water for himself. He stood over the kitchen sink, gulping down the cool liquid.

When he was finished with his late night refreshment he decided to make his way back to bed and try to regain whatever vestiges of sleep were left to him. He shuffled over to his bedroom and paused as he reached for the doorknob. His head turned almost unconsciously towards Maka's room. He wasn't sure why but he was getting an odd feeling as he stared at her bedroom door. Ordinarily he would discount said feeling, but after spending so much time together he had learned that these sensations were often more correct than not. It came from the link between their souls. Even when they were not resonating they would sometimes get glimpses of each other's thoughts and emotions. Once again it was a natural result of their relationship, working and living together so closely tended to forge a strong bond between people. But this sensation was disconcerting to him. He could definitely tell that it was originating from Maka and not him, and now that he thought on it he also recognized it as the sensation which had awoken him. It was a sense of unease and discontent, something he almost never associated with Maka, brave and strong headed as she was.

He contemplated on the meaning of said sensation, wondering if he dare intrude on her privacy to check on her. Even from a dead sleep Maka could launch a book at him with surprising accuracy. He was about to disregard the notion completely and resolve to ask her about it in the morning, but suddenly he sensed a sharp spike of fear from her. The emotion shocked him into action and he immediately pushed open the door. He paused as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of her room, he couldn't sense any danger immediately present and he was briefly confused. Then he noticed movement from the bed. He could see Maka twisting and turning on the bed, clearly uncomfortable.

"Maka?" He called softly into the still air. But his call went unanswered as Maka continued to shift under her sheets. Hesitantly Soul stepped closer to her bed, curious but also concerned. Now that he was concentrating he could clearly sense the waves of fear rolling off his meister's soul. As he approached the bed he could hear soft whimpers emanating from her. He looked down to see her face scrunched up in an unfamiliar expression. He distantly realized that she must be having a nightmare. He briefly considered whether he should wake her as he was sure she would be upset at his breach of her privacy. But then she whimpered his name in a pained whisper and any thoughts of his own well being went out the window, too concerned for his partner.

"Maka. Maka wake up." He said to her softly while gently shaking her. "You're having a nightmare. It's okay, just wake up." He said to her even as she flinched away from his touch.

"Maka! Please wake up!"

Jolted by the sound of her name and an insistent shaking, Maka Albarn awoke with a start. Visions of black blood and tortured loss still swimming in her head. She looked around confused and dazed. Through the moon light she could make out the form of her faithful partner Soul looking at her concerned yet relieved. She felt strange, her body cold with sweat and her limbs tense.

"Soul?" She questioned gently. "What are you doing here?"

"You were having a nightmare, I got worried." Soul responded cautiously. Her brain wracked her memories, vague images and voices filled her mind. She couldn't remember specifics but she did remember the fear and desperation. It made her shudder involuntarily and she turned her face to gaze on his. She saw concern and worry there and she immediately felt guilty. If Soul could sense her having a nightmare it must have been pretty bad.

"Are you okay?" He finally asked as she forgot to respond to him. Trying to clear her thoughts, she shuffled up onto her elbows and tried to reassure him with a smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine now." She said and she wasn't sure if she was lying or not. Soul seemed to pick up on the indecision as he gave her a skeptical look.

"I'm sorry for making you worry, and for waking you up in the middle of the night." She spoke softly.

"It's okay." Soul replied immediately. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. Maka looked down at her sheets for a second and gripped them with her hands.

"No, to be honest, I don't even remember it that much." She said. A soft silence hung in the air and Soul looked her over. Even without the link of their souls he could see she was upset and hiding it. He definitely believed she didn't remember anything, but that didn't mean she wasn't still unsettled. Soul sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. Maka watched him quiet and subdued, feelings of guilt, shame, and fear still swirling around inside her.

"If you ever want to talk, I'm here for you." He said. His tone was firm but not insistent, welcoming but not pressuring. Maka felt her heart melt even more at that, sometimes she wondered how lucky she was that she got a partner as caring as Soul. Sure he put on an aloof act in public, but she knew that he was loyal and devoted deep down, just as much as she was to him.

"I'm okay, really." Maka said with a smile and put a hand on his. "It's not the first time I've had a nightmare like this." She let slip. Soul blinked in surprise at that.

"It's not?" He asked. Maka looked away, embarassed.

"I get them every few months or so. Usually I end up waking up in the middle of the night." Soul blinked at that. He had the sudden realization that his own insomnia episodes seemed to coincide with his meister's nightmares. Soul felt like he could slap himself for not realizing it sooner. All this time his meister had been suffering and he hadn't had a clue. But he wasn't about to reveal any of that to her now. He was pretty sure she didn't realize her dreams were waking him either and he was sure such information would only make her feel worse. Instead he silently reached for her hand and squeezed her palm.

"Well, like I said, I'm here for you if you ever get bothered by them." Maka blushed both at the sincerity in Soul's words and the contact of his hand on hers. They had held hands before, and even been in closer proximity than that before so it shouldn't have bothered her. But something about the gentle caress of his hands on hers, the intimate setting of her darkened room, sent goosebumps up her skin. Thankfully for her embarrassment, Soul didn't seem to notice the effect he had.

He pulled away from her and stood to leave. Presumably he was heading back to his own room to resume his slumber. Maka watched him stand and move to the door and a sudden jolt of panic struck her. The nightmarish vision from her dreams flashed in her mind again and she felt fear and utter terror grip her heart once more at the sight of Soul walking away from her. She could feel her pulse quicken and her breath chill at the thought of being left alone again. Without thinking, she leaned forward on impulse, and called out to him.

"Soul wait!" She shot her hand out and captured his wrist before he could get too far. He looked back down at her in confusion and concern again at her actions. But now that he had paused, Maka felt her face flush with red again as the sudden panic dissipated. She looked down, fingers loosening their grip on his wrist. She spoke shyly and quietly up at him.

"Could… could you… stay… here, with me?" She asked him, not daring to meet his eyes. The silence that reigned in the room was deafening. "Just, until I can fall back asleep, please?" She added hastily and finally dared to look back up at him.

What she saw was an expression of surprise. His mouth was agape ever so slightly and she felt her eyes drawn to his lips, and her blush return tenfold. At first she thought that maybe her request was too much, given the silence which seemed to stretch on forever. But just when she was about to take back her words she heard him speak up.

"Sure… yeah okay but um… chair?" He stumbled over his words, equally flummoxed by her request. He had never seen his meister look so vulnerable. And although he would never admit it to her, he found her blushing face to be the most adorable thing he had ever laid eyes on. And although he would do anything for his meister, he found himself wondering where he would sit. He looked back to her desk chair offering to bring it closer. But to his incredible surprise he saw Maka shake her head firmly.

"No, I can make room on the bed." She said. Soul felt his eyebrows rise again. He could feel his pulse quicken even as he schooled his expression. Maka was essentially inviting him into her bed. He knew it wasn't for the reason he was thinking, not for the reason he desperately wanted, but it still was an immense show of trust for her. He watched as Maka scooted over to her left until she was nearly touching the wall, leaving just enough room for his lanky frame. Soul looked back to her face which had cooled somewhat from its fiery red complexion back into a light blush. He searched her eyes for any shred of doubt or discomfort, but try as he might he could not find any. He supposed she was serious about this.

Deciding to acqueisce to her request before she changed her mind, Soul slipped underneath the covers beside her. They laid on their sides face to face. They stared into each other's eyes, forest green meeting blood red. There was an awkward silence for a moment as each of them contemplated the position they were in. They were used to touching each other casually, being in each other's space and brushing against each other. They moved with each other with an ease that came only from years of working and fighting together. But this was something different. Even if they technically weren't touching each other this close proximity seemed to be vastly more meaningful than any contact they had done before.

But as they gazed at each other the tension gradually eased until it broke. Soul chuckled as Maka giggled. Even if they had never done this before, even if it was awkward and stilted, they both realized that they were partners, and this was just another natural extension of that trust. Breaking the ice, Maka was the one to move first, as was often with their relationship. She snuggled closer to Soul, laying her head against his chest and moving her hands to a comfortable position against him. Soul responded by laying his hand gently on her waist, savoring the contact and feel of her body next to him, just as Maka was relishing in the warmth and weight of his.

"Thanks Soul." She whispered as she felt her eyes finally close. Soul rested his chin against the top of her head.

"Anything for you." He finally whispered back after he felt her breathing slow and she was finally asleep.

That night was some of the most restful sleep that either of them had gotten in a long time. Even after they woke in the morning the awkwardness still was there but it was gentle and playful, and broke easily after Soul fell from her bed, not used to the location. This sent Maka to giggling even as she got up to make breakfast for the two of them. This pattern continued for the next several months. Whenever the darkness was thick and bleak, Maka would wake from her sleep in fright at the images of the nightmares in her head and seek out her partner. Whenever those nights happened Soul was more than happy to comfort her through her slumber. Some nights Maka would wake him up, others Soul would rouse Maka from the visions. Often they were in her bed, but rarely they would sleep in his. Including one instance where Soul awoke to Maka having crawled into his bed while he was asleep, shuddering with barely held sobs. Soul gently embraced her and rocked her back and forth, gently whispering affirmations into her hair as she silently wept. Eventually the tears had stopped and they both had fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

They rarely spoke of the nights they spent together. It was sort of an unspoken understanding between them. Soul had tried to ask about the nightmares, but Maka always claimed she couldn't remember anything more than vague details. Thankfully she never snapped at him when he asked like she would have when they were younger. Soul thought that her gratitude was maybe what was keeping that from happening. But regardless he learned to stop asking as he never got any straight answers from her. He had once thought about trying to resonate with her when she was having one, to see if he could see what she does. But while their soul connection did give them a link, it was not quite like telepathy, and he could only sense the intense emotions of fear, loneliness, and sorrow. Soul grew worried but Maka assured him that she was fine, and the nightmares occurred infrequently enough that he would put them out of his mind until the next one.

Plus, as selfish as it might have seemed, Soul secretly relished the nights they spent together. He loved the feel of her body pressed against his, loved smelling the scent of her shampoo and lotions, loved the way she clung to him during the depths of her sleep. And although Maka would never admit it she also enjoyed their increased closeness, often to the point that during their day to day lives she would seek him out for attention and contact. But still for whatever reason, neither of them addressed the increased closeness they shared, nor the tension that came with it. It was something they both could feel, each of them wishing and hoping for the other to do something more, but neither being willing to break that barrier. It resulted in some confusing emotions and perplexing signals.

Soul for his part, could only be described as becoming more flirty, in his own way. He had stopped making disparaging remarks about her figure long ago, but he had never started complimenting her until recently. He would sneak up behind her and whisper in her ear, or brush her hair back, placing his hands on her arms or her waist. Maka could feel her heart soar anytime he smoldered at her, gazing at her with piercing half lidded eyes. Maka had never thought that this kind of attention was something she would enjoy, much less want. So she tried to reciprocate in the way she knew how, by cooking for him, bringing him tea, buying him gifts. Yet every time she tried to return Soul's affection, she could feel him freeze, unsure. She was baffled by his behavior.

Soul was equally stumped by his meister. She often got more touchy with him, not anywhere other than what they normally did but it was still to an extent that it was noticeable. She hugged him more, snuggled with him more, draping herself over him like a cat. He immensely enjoyed the attention, but everytime he tried to do the same she turned twitchy and nervous, a clear signal she was uncomfortable with his actions. Then there were all the gifts, things she did for him that he never asked for. It seemed nearly every day she was doing something for him and while he appreciated the gestures he wasn't sure of what to make of them.

But even as the young couple struggled to figure out their feelings for each other, it did not mean the nightmares stopped. So their unspoken ritual continued. One night, as Maka laid in Soul's arms in her bed, she spoke up softly to him.

"Soul…" She whispered.

"Hmm… yeah?" He responded having been half asleep already.

"… I have a confession to make to you." She said

"Oh?" He said with partial interest, still fighting the sand man to listen to her.

"I actually do remember what happens in the nightmares."

Soul's entire body tensed at the admission. He was wide awake now and his body felt stiff as a board. He angled himself to look at her and found that Maka's jade eyes were staring straight into him. Her expression was unreadable, but he could tell she was just as anxious as he was.

"Tell me." It came out as a command but it sounded more like a desperate plea. After months of this Soul had an aching need to know what troubled his meister. Her eyes fell back to his chest, unfocused as she recounted the nightmare visions that had plagued her sleep. Unconsciously her hand reached out to brush along the scar that bisected his chest. Tracing the line with a delicate finger.

"They usually are all the same. It… they're about you getting hurt, or killed. I know I should be used to that possibility by now, given our line of work. But they don't hurt any less and it hasn't gotten any better." She paused and Soul let her gather her thoughts. "But those aren't the worst ones." She added and Soul perked up, wondering what could be worse than visions of him being tortured.

"The worst nightmares are the ones where you leave me." She finally admitted. Soul's eyes widened. He could sense now that Maka had stray tears falling down her cheeks. She refused to meet his gaze. "And I know that's silly, I understand how dumb it is, but I can't help it. It always seems so real, like its actually happening. And so I have to remind myself that you're still here." She punctuated the words by wrapping tighter to him. "I just can't help it because I'm so afraid, afraid that you'll find somebody else, or that we'll ruin what we have. I… I want so much more, but, I'm afraid Soul." She finally admitted in a shuddering cry.

Soul breathed in a deep sigh as he felt his fearless, incredible, talented, smart meister cry into his chest with the force of her unreleased anxieties. He hugged her tight to him, kissing her head and gently stroking her back until she calmed down. It was a few minutes but it felt almost like an eternity. When Maka finally stopped crying she summoned her courage and tilted her head to meet with Soul's gaze. She saw him regard her with a gentle smile and relaxed expression.

"Well then Maka, I guess I have a confession for you as well." He replied with barely contained amusement. "Because I love you Maka, and I'm not going anywhere… not unless you want me to." He said with a more serious tone. Maka inhaled sharply and stared back at him, the emotional drain had numbed her, but not enough to stifle her reaction to those words.

"No, don't you ever." She said and moved her face to his. Soul responded in kind, their faces inching closer and closer together. They stared into each other's eyes and their souls resonated with each other, confirming all their hopes and dreams, that this was what they both wanted. Their lips met in a kiss, simple, gentle, yet confirming all the love they had for each other. When their lips finally broke, they were breathless, tired, and emotionally exhausted.

"I love you too, Soul Eater." Maka finally said. The two of them cuddled closer together, their limbs entwined and souls pulsing in time with each other as they gently fell asleep with one another.