Calamity.

I finished cooking, placing food on the table. Cassian and Azriel had stayed behind. It was nice cooking for more than just me. The two bat boys waiting patiently, helping me lay things out. Boen set the table. It was like having a family dinner.

I gazed at them eating, not wasting a bite, Boen making a huge mess. "Boen, seems those table manners have vanished."

"I'm sorry, but it's so good. Best food I have had in a while."

I chuckled. "I bet. I'm glad you two stayed. It's like a family dinner. I wish Rhys had not gone, but I understand he can be busy." I pushed a vegetable to the side.

"It was only going to be me, but Azriel found Boen interesting."

Azriel turned to him. "The being that made you sick for seeing him once, is my friend. It was gold watching you come back covered in your own vomit." Azriel smirked.

"I am still trying to believe this loveable happy go lucky kid is the same bone carver I knew."

Food flicked in Cassian's face. "Believe it. I still can make you see; I am choosing not to."

"Boen, that wasn't very nice." I scolded.

"I don't like him; he has bad vibrations. So do Azriel and Rhysand. Their magic reeks of filthy things."

"What do you mean?"

"I am no longer hungry." He got up, leaving the table.

"Boen, wait come back here. I'm sorry, it might take some time to adjust." I did not see a curse, but he said the magic reeked.

I stood and placed myself between them as I took there empty plates. I took a deep breath, smelling this reeking odor he claimed was there. I realized the odor was not a reference to them but that thing I created. The odor was the distinct smell of the bond.

I frowned, taking their plates to the kitchen. Why not tell me? Were they waiting for me to notice? I wanted to know when they felt it. For Azriel it had to be longer than the night he laid next to me, and Cassian, I was unsure. the clicked when they pleased.

Then there was Rhysand, how long had he known? Under the mountain? Calanmia? What if it was recent? I smiled at them through the window as they watched me. I summoned the other things, no leftovers in sight.

"I'm going to turn in for the night." I smiled as I walked by.

"We will be out here if you or Boen need anything."

I pressed my lips and nodded as I walked to my room. Boen was already in bed laying down. I lay next to him, pulling him in close.

I lay awake, long enough to feel Boen shift and then get out of bed. I thought he might be using the restroom, but he slipped out the door. I followed him through the shadows to the living room. Cassian and Aziel were both awake and staring at him.

"You know, you may have her fooled for now, but when she finds out you are deceiving her, she will reject you. Just like Koschei."

"What makes you think that?" Cassian asked.

Boen tapped next to his eye. "I can see your future, I'll letting you know now your fate as a lowly rejected male is inevitable."

"You really will be troublesome." Cassian stood, then sat back down. "That's not fair."

Boen giggled. "I can still use Glamor foolish Illyrian."

Azriel picked him up by the back of the shirt. "I think you should go back to bed, or I will be forced to wake Cali up."

"Really. What if I told you she would accept you."

"What does he mean, Az?"

"Oh, you did not tell him. Tell him how you bonded with her the moment she said your name and looked you in the eyes."

Azriel kept a calm face. "I dropped the thought of having her the second it came; some things are better left unsaid."

"You sure? What about that night you two spent? Cradling her, you felt so happy. You're still here, hoping."

I stepped from the shadows. Boen shifted in Azriel's arms.

I rubbed my eyes and stretched, faking a yawn. "You guys seen Boen."

"He was sleepwalking. Azriel was just about to take him back."

"Ah, I apologize if he caused any trouble." I held my hands out for him, he was shifted into my arms. "He can be a hand full at times." I pinched his nose, and he roared to life.

"Ow. Ow. Ow." He held his nose.

"You deserved that. I do not know why your acting this way, but it stops now."

"I don't want you to leave me again."

"I won't, I would sooner throw you to the cauldron. Now get to bed and don't leave that room until the sun comes up. You know what happens when you misbehave."

He gulped. "Yes, mother." I sat him down and he ran down the hallway.

I looked at them. A hand over my stomach propping the other as it traced around the gem on my chest. "I was wondering why he said your magic reeked, but I saw no curse. I am not mad; I just want to know the truth."

"We were not trying to deceive you, just waiting until you felt the bond yourself."

My eyes furrowed as I twisted the fabric of my shirt. "I never will, that's why I called it a failure. I made it for us, for Anna and I. She gained the bond, I did not. I turned to soul binding after that. I won't reject you, but you can never reject me. Even if you wanted to, you'll stop yourself. To reject me is to reject life itself. That was the evil in it. It turned you mad if you refused, more so than ones between Fea."

I looked between them as I spoke. "If you ever seen a rejection, it never ends well. For me, there is no harm, but for you… You will not know who you are, you'll be an empty shell. Koschei… he was so devastated I told him no, rejecting that bond. Drove him mad, it is why I was not shocked to his behavior."

"So were stuck, I mean, I was okay with it. If your accepting it too, then were fine." Cassian said.

Azriel looked me in the eyes. "And we surrender to you. To your wants." Azriel asked, and I knew what he referred to. A deep sadness filled me, he only did that because of the bond, not because he liked me.

My lips pressed. "I don't know, I'm not on that end. I made an undo spell, but Koschei refused. It only works if you willingly give it up."

"That is?"

"In the book of teachings, I put a spell inside for those who wished to reject. If you use it, you will never have a mate, but that does not mean you cannot love. That is an option."

Cassian looked at Azriel. "You can't be serious."

The shadow singer drifted away; his eyes locked on mine as he left. "I will see if I can find it." Then the eyes were gone. I thought maybe I had something there. Platonic at a minimum.

I stared at that spot. "Do you think Rhysand is awake?"

"Possibly."

"Before I take that accepting step, I would like all of you on the same page making a sound decision."

I held my hand up, looking at the closed eye for the first time in a long time. He had to be the first, he was worried about rejection. I was mad at him for a while, if I had known, he might have thought I would use that against him. He thought wrong.

I felt for him, but it was quite, and an odd sense of panic. "Cas, if he were in trouble, do you think he would call out to me?"

"Maybe, but Az and I, yes. Why?"

Something did not feel right, but it's so faint because of his shield. "I will be right back, Boen leaves his room use this to call me back." I forged a golden card. "Rip it, and I will feel the ripple and come straight to it."

"Is this necessary?"

"Cas, I watched you pale to glamor."

He shifted in his seat, adjusting his gloves. "I was merely caught off guard. Won't happen again."

I shook my head, smirking. "Be back soon." I dropped the card on the couch, and windowed inside the townhouse to my room. I could not see anything through the black mist coating the room like murky fog.

I shuttered at the sensation; this was him. I pushed though the mist, letting my wings emerge. Their glow gave me a mere few inches, but it was better than blind. I held my hands out, navigating to his room. The door locked; I knocked.

"Rhys? Everything okay?"

There was no response, he must be asleep. He was the only one here, no other life within these walls breathed. I moved through the door. The mist so thick my glow did nothing. I was consumed in the darkness. I fumbled on a rug as I moved to the center of the cause.

"Rhysand. Rhysand!" I hit the bed, hands catching myself. I patted around, finding a leg. I followed it up, finding something I shouldn't through the sheets. "Damn, I mean. Opps, my bad." I found his chest, shaking him. "Rhysand, wake up." This man was on heavy sleeper, Cauldron save him if something were to happen in his sleep.

I climbed further into the bed, cupping his sweat soaked face. "Rhys, wake up." I could hit him, but I wasn't that mean. I thought of the bond we had. He can hate me later for using it. I kissed him on the lips, I could feel his elongated teeth though his lips.

Not only was he misting death but shifting in his sleep. I nudged his nose. "Wake up, love. Wake up for me. For your Cali." I spoke softly, kissing him again. He tasted sweet, like the sap off a maple tree. All I wanted was to kiss his lips until the sweetness faded. He kissed back, clawed hands grabbed my sides, flipping me over. Angry lavender eyes glowing throw the mist. I then felt bad for what I did, but he was waking.

"Rhys, It's okay." I reached my hand up, touching his face. His eyes softened and he shook his head, pulling back into the mist, the bed shifting under his weight. I had gone too far, I sat up, searching through the mist. He was about to do what Azriel was about to do. "Rhys?"

"I am sorry if I woke you."

"No, not at all. I was awake already. I was feeling for you, I felt your panic. I came to see if you were alright."

The mist was pulling back, allowing me to see the room. The tendrils swirled around him as he looked down. His wings splayed out, the claws on his hands slowly retracted. The sheet barely covered his lower half.

It was the first time I had seen him with not shirt, or pants for that matter. A mountain with three stars tattoo on both knees. I glanced up, his chest was primed from years of training. Tattoos there and on his shoulders and chest.

"You came because you sensed my panic?"

"Why would I not? You came to me; this is small compared to what you had done for me. Do you always have nightmares like this?"

"Sometimes." He brushed his thumb across his lower lip. "You kissed me."

I bit my lip. "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't."

"You definitely did, I can taste you. Smell your sweet scent just under my nose."

"Well, I could have hit you." I crossed my arms.

He smirk-laughed. "There's my Cali." Those words, every time he said it, I melted.

I was going to say something smart, but I didn't. I liked those two words. "I will see you tomorrow then." I edged closer to the side, slipping by his knees.

He held my arm softly; a tingle ran through my skin. "Thank you, I can usually keep it contained to my room, but if you felt it through the bond, then it was getting out of control."

"Can you say those two words again."

His eyebrows kissed, hand dropping. "Thank you?"

I shook my head softly. "No, not those. The ones where you say 'My' and then..." I couldn't finish, because my face was feeling hot. I was dumb, asking such silly things.

"My Cali?" A feline grin elated his lips as I stared into his amused lit irises. "My Cali kissed me in my sleep, I wonder what it would take to have my dear sweet Cali kiss me on the lips while I am awake."

"Ask."

His hand lifted my chin, his lips hovering over mine. "Then, may I?" I nodded softly, his lips grazing mine. The smell of the bond pouring out. My thoughts wondered to many filthy thoughts, all of which I would do right here and now if he allowed me.

His lips parted, a feline smile as he looked behind my shoulders. "They flow like trapped water in the wind when you're flustered." He reached and I felt his finger graze under a wing.

I snapped them shut, standing. "No touch." I windowed to my room. My wings folding in and over my back to lay.

I had too many bad memories to let anyone touch my wings. I had them crushed and broken to many times. The most recent was heavy on my mind. Damn, and i left fbefore I got that kiss too. I smacked my head.

Boen sleeping, I slipped into the bath to wash myself. That taste, the smell, the feeling. It was different. I held the spot he had touched with a hand, that sensation. Was he doing that on purpose? I had to know, wanted to ask.

I dressed for sleep, but before I went to bed, I found Cassian on the couch picking at his nails with a knife. "He did not leave his room."

I sat next to him on my favorite part of the couch, the high armrest was perfect for sitting against with your legs out. The other side dipped where wings could easily fit over. I assumed that was Rhysand's mothers' side of the couch.

"He was fine, I don't know what I was feeling."

"Something else bothering you?"

"No. I was going to read, not feeling tired yet." I pulled the book from the shadows, flipping it open as a scrunched up on the couch.

Cassian pulled my legs out and over his lap. "Get comfortable. I was told why you sit on that side specifically." I held the book to my face, not letting him see that partial embarrassment I had.

I moved through the word, Cassian playing with the ink on my legs. "There are so many intricate designs. It's hard to marvel at them unless you're this close. It's like they tell a story."

I looked down. "They do, but I told you all that story. Where your hand is, that was me tipping the cauldron."

His hand moved up over my knee. "And here?"

"I had begged on my knees to not be locked up, I bowed before another when I should not have. The other side. It was where I found comfort in the shadows as they kneeled to me. Claiming me there mother." He pointed to just below the bottoms of my shorts. "I created my first being."

"I would ask further, but there is something in the way." These men would put me to death. "How's the book?"

"It's good."

"Read some of it."

I gulped. "Ah well, this chapter is bland I don't think you will like it."

He plucked the book from my hands. His eyes raising. "Really mushy romance, he licked…" I snatched the book back.

He laughed as his hand rested on my thigh, fingers resting on the inner thigh. "It's one chapter, necessary for plot."

"Well, if you ever find yourself I'm need of a chapter necessary for plot." His eyes raised.

"Tempting offer, but I'll pass. Shh, I'm reading."

"What are you imagining?"

"Hmm, it could be him, it could be you."

"Read it."

"He looked to me with hungry eyes." I peeked over my book. "Liking his lips." Cassian mimicked. "His hand moved… I feel like I'm being set up here."

"What makes you say that?"

"You knew exactly when a heavy scene was happening."

"Hmm, I might have gone through the library of the night court, asking the shadow librarian what you were reading. Reading through the books you were reading, I found small slips of paper in the dirties chapters. A read for later, Cali?"

"And this one?" I held the book to the side.

"I did buy that with knowledge to your preference."

"How would you rate this book and how spicy it is?"

"I would say mild spice."

"Hmm, I thought it light mushy romance. Carful Cassian. I have been both man and woman, I would do things to you that would ruin any other experience you might have with another because it will never be satisfying enough."

"So, you're at least interested?"

"Is that all that registered in your mind?"

"I have a chance, that's what heard." He smirked.

I chuckled. After Rhysand I felt guilty. If I did anything he would smell it on me, I'm sure Cassian could smell Rhysand on me. It would take more than one bath to fix that.

"Flattering, really. Now is not the time for such flirtation." I removed my legs from his lap, leaving him on the couch.

I wanted to, but I wasn't sure I was ready yet. I almost kissed Rhysand, snuggled up to Azriel. Someone who was willing to find that silly book that did not exist anymore. It was not metal like the book of breathing, but of paper. It had to be decayed by now.