Walking up the great big tower. the tower that was extraordinarily tall. The one with the many steps. The one with way too many steps. Way too many fucking steps. Naruto began muttering incoherent curses, so softly to himself that someone passing by could mistake them for humming. He was displeased with a lot of people in his life, some had met, some he had not. He had a few people he hated, a few he had met, a few he had not. But there were only two people he truly loathed, and both were dead.

If I could kill whoever invented stairs, I would make it as slow as I possibly could. To bad there isn't some miraculous way to revive the dead

Cresting the last of the insulting little angles he surveyed the room before him. A single desk with a clerk behind it, a very unassuming clerk that he had no doubt could kill most men before they could blink. To her left was a pot plant that had seen far better days, the poor thing probably hadn't had the proper care or love in who knows how long. There to the far wall opposite the desk and past the towering double doors to the hokage's office, was a luxurious looking two seater lounge that he was sure, enough to bet a missions pay, would be the most uncomfortably stiff thing someone could lay there pampered little asses on.

"I'm not taking a seat lady, i've been summoned and expect an audience immediately." he stared down at the girl with all the intensity that he could without causing her any undue trauma. "Naruto Uzumaki, before you ask."

The woman, completely unfazed, briefly glanced at him before languidly perusing through the ledger in front of her, humming while doing so. He hoped that she didnt call his bluff on the seat thing, he really didn't want to find out if he was correct about those seat cushions.

"Ah there we, Jonin Naruto Uzumaki." she said. Maintaining eye contact with him longer than most strangers would. "Go right ahead, it would appear the hokage is expecting you."

With a muttered thank you, unnerved by the woman's nonchalant attitude toward his attempt at intimidation, he approached and opened the large doors to the office.

"God dammit old man you couldn't have gotten lighter doors?"

Hiruzen seated behind his desk, leaning back into his chair, had the air of condescending mirth that only a person who had enjoyed many years of life could exude. He took a long slow drag from his pipe, the tobacco sizzled softly as the cured leaves were burnt away from this world to enter the man's lungs. He closed his eyes and hummed softly to himself, taking great pleasure in the cancer he was surely giving himself.

He then blew the smoke directly into Naruto's face.

"Surely if those doors are hard enough for a great shinobi such as yourself to open, then any would-be assassins couldn't possibly enter my chambers to slay me as I work, no?"

"Don't blow that shit in my face, it's disgusting." Naruto growled at the old man. "And don't patronize me while you're at it, i don't have a key to the chakra suppressing seals in this place, i'm opening the things raw."

A small grin crawled its way onto the face of the old man, screaming to Naruto that he had won at whatever little word game that he had been playing with him.

"And if you don't have a key then neither should any would be assailant, thus leading to the conclusion that the doors should stay. Exactly. Where. They. Are." Hiruzen said, before taking another even deeper drag from his pipe. "And if you maybe start to show me some respect, I'll reciprocate."

He blew the rest into his face again.

Coughing, Naruto glared at the man. His gaze softened a little seeing just how old and rundown he was looking of late. In his youth he had seen the third as some insurmountable pillar of the old world, untouchable to the mere mortals that the rest of the shinobi of the leaf were. Now, he was just an old man that had seen too many wars and had lived far longer, and through far more than he should have ever had to.

None of that meant he had to show him any of that respect though.

"What do you want me for you old codger?" Naruto said, slamming his palm roughly onto the ridiculously well polished wood of the desk. "I was quite busy when you called me here."

He could still picture Yugao's body laying atop the covers of his bed, all supple curves and smooth skin, almost begging him to rejoin her after he had gotten up for the summons.

Hiruzen eyed him with a look of incredulity so intense that it could make a seasoned poker player doubt that his royal flush was even a good hand.

"I am disappointed in you Naruto, to say that your little 'sessions' with one of my anbu captains is more important than seeing your beloved sensei, and leader might i add." He said rather dryly.

How the fuck does he even know about that.

Oh who am I kidding of course he would know.

"I really like cat though." he whined. Dignity be damned, he was back at the village to relax.

"Oh yes. I hear you like 'cat' very much, many a young kunoichi can attest to your love of 'cat', Naruto." He drawled, a twinkle lighting his eyes. "But nonetheless, I take precedent. I always will."

Naruto was back to glaring at the man.

"Now that we've gotten the very pleasant small talk out of the way, it's time we moved onto business." Hiruzen formed a quick seal.

Jarringly all of the street noise ceased in an instant. Hiruzen's relaxed demeanor morphed into one of utter seriousness

"I take it you've received your mission directives from Danzo already?"

Naruto shifted in his seat, straightening his back and placing his hands on his knees.

"I have, they seem fairly straightforward. Incite a major incident with my team, by causing panic in their dug-in positions. Kill the majority of the shinobi during the ensuing battle, leaving a few alive to track back to whatever encampment they have behind their frontline. Then unleash as much as i can, without losing control on the jonin, chunin…" Naruto swallowed, the spit almost catching in his dry throat. " and genin that are present."

The directive wasn't exactly a pleasant one, but in spite of what Choji had said on their little night out, he was a consummate professional these days. He would do what was required of him.

"I know it pains you Naruto, but it will greatly lessen injury and deaths on our side, for a while at least." Hiruzen's voice was soft and apologetic.

The aging old man he had seen earlier was nowhere to be seen anymore. He could only see the third hokage of the leaf in front of him now. Was he ever that aging old man, or was that just a figment of his imagination.


"Sensei, I'm not sure your old bones are really up for a spar with me. I could kill you, then who would run the village?"

"You're about a thousand years too young to be worrying about being able to do something like that you little twerp." Hiruzen dropped his official attire unceremoniously to the ground. Donning a light samurai plate armor underneath. "I'm going to school you using only taijutsu and academy techniques in order to show you just how much further you have to go if you want to actually contend with the heavy hitters of the world."

"You're on, old man, you're gonna regret limiting yourself like that."

With a shout of begin, Hiruzen burst toward him with speed belying his years. Before Naruto could mount a defense, Sarutobi was on top of him, grabbing him by the hair and delivering three very quick consecutive punches to the side of his face.

Naruto pushed himself away from the man, only to receive a lightning fast kick to his left ribcage, sending him tumbling a dozen or so meters away.

Hiruzen's next assault was better received. Naruto ducked under a jab, responding with a quick punch to the man's gut, cracking the chakra reinforced armor plating. Before could get his next attack off however, his wrist was grabbed and he was thrown a great height into the air.

Forming five hand seals, a small jetstream of flame was expelled from Naruto's mouth. The flame carved a deep narrow line where Hiruzen had been moments before.

Feeling a hand wrap around his ankle, the world distorted into streaks of blurry lines as he was sent careening to the ground.

Not like this. This is fucking embarresing. I have to up my game here.

Correcting his path in the air, red chakra leaking from every pore on his body, he slammed into the ground feet first, sending up large chunks of debris and dust into their little training ground.

Bursting out of the cloud, he aimed a punch for Hiruzen's head, only for it to be ducked. Smiling, he drove his knee up toward the old man's face.

He stepped back letting the knee fly up in front of his face harmlessly.

In response Naruto brought his now straightened leg down toward the top of his head, only for Hiruzen to roll forward underneath his leg and behind Naruto.

His foot made contact with the ground, and the earth shook. The impact crater from his kick gave birth to a fissure, rending the training ground into three distinct regions, the ground sunken in spots, sending Naruto off balance. Forcing him to correct himself and costing him precious time.

He felt four more blindingly fast punches delivered to his spine and kidneys, dropping him to his knees with a yelp of pain.

Quickly pivoting on his knees and rolling to the side, he narrowly avoided another punch that would have taken him in the back of the head.

Springing to his feet, he began another string of hand seals, only to have his hands ripped from one another halfway through.

Another punch to the face, and his vision narrowed.

Two more punches to his face and he could taste blood, his vision now swimming with small black dots.

A kick to the ribs and he was sent sprawling.

Naruto retaliated to the next jab with an uppercut that would have taken the old man's head off, had he not been a clone.

He felt the cool steel of a kunai against his neck and knew that the match had come to its conclusion.

"You lasted a lot longer than I thought you would, thirty whole seconds, you should be proud." Hiruzen said. He removed the kunai from his neck and chortled. "It took the Sannin until they were 20 or so to achieve that individually, and here you are at a mere 16 doing the same."

Well that made him feel a little better about himself at least.

"Go home and wash up. I expect you back here tomorrow for some more lessons, so don't get too carried away with Yugao. I will not have one of my students coming to me already tired because they were up all night 'training' with somebody else."

Why couldn't the old man just let him relax with his time off. At this rate he was going to be sent back to front a cripple.