Authors Note: This fic is based after the episode 4x05 and 4x06, wherein which Casey thinks she might be pregnant after she has unprotected sex with Cappie. This is a different version of the story where Casey never went to study with Katherine and never realized that she had to take the morning after pill.


"Casey?", I hear his voice and it makes me jump out of my skin.

I'm sitting on a bench in the quad, staring off in the distance, completely frozen except for the rhythmic tapping of my foot against the bench.

My heart starts to pound when I spot him. His floppy hair, stubbled jawline, black jeans and flannel clad, his book bag slung over his shoulder.

I hadn't seen him in awhile. And I hadn't actually talked to him since… well since the morning after homecoming night when we'd hooked up again.

I mean… I had seen him at Doblers when I was there with Rebecca, Laura and Betsy one night. They'd noticed I hadn't been going out lately and dragged me with them. It was a little hard to go out when I was still fighting with Ash and when I was mostly just focusing on law school. But they'd dragged me out anyways one Friday night and I'd spotted him across the crowd with some of his brothers. Our eyes met, we'd each given each other a cordial nod and that was it.

It wasn't really awkward between us, persay. We'd had sex off and on so many times in the past four and a half years that I feel like it couldn't really possibly be very awkward between us anymore. It just what it was. I didn't say anything about it and neither did he. I don't think he really knew how to proceed after I had told him that that night we spent together didn't change anything between us. It was just a hookup.

But the truth was that I think it was going to change everything. Whether I liked it or not. And that's why I was sitting here, completely panicked, stuck in my own worried thoughts.

Well stuck in my own worried thoughts until Cappie's presence had shaken me out of them.

"Oh… hi Cap", I nod as he walks up towards me tentatively.

He stands tall in front of me, a coffee from the coffee cart in his hand. His blue eyes meet mine, looking serious, which is a little unlike him.

"Are you okay?", He gives me a genuine look, his eyebrow raised. "I uh… I heard about the thing in your class this morning".

He says that last part like he's unsure of whether to bring it up or not.

"What?", I'm surprised now. "Seriously? What are people saying?"

I groan then, putting my head in my hands. The last thing I needed was people talking about me.

In my Torts class this morning I'd had to quickly run out and throw up in a garbage can right outside the classroom. I couldn't even make it to the washroom. When I'd walked back in Evan looked at me suspiciously and Katherine had later asked if I was okay.

I'd felt sick the whole morning, but actually throwing up, and then realizing what the date was, and then putting everything together… well that's why I was sitting here. I hadn't even gone home after class. Mostly because I knew I had to make a stop at the campus drugstore before I went back to the ZBZ house. I just couldn't seem to bring myself to do so. So here I was, unmoving and panicked.

"Don't worry about it", Cap shrugs. "You wouldn't be the first one here to throw up in class".

He laughs then, giving me a smirk.

"This one time when I was hungover and tried to make it to my psych exam I…", He starts a story with a smirk on his face but then trails off when he sees the way I look away, the blank, depressed look on my face remaining unchanged. "Sorry you probably don't wanna hear about that story".

He looks down then.

"No, no", I shake my head. "Sorry Cap, I'm just… I'm kind of in a bad mood right now. And now knowing that everyone's talking about me…"

I sigh as I trail off.

"Don't worry, no one's talking about you, Katherine just mentioned it to Beaver when she was at the house before I left for class", Cappie shrugs. "Said she can't study with you until she knows for sure that you're better because she doesn't have time to get sick with her 'strict study schedule'".

Cappie laughs then as he uses air quotes.

He moves forward to come sit down beside me on the bench, looking a little unsure about doing so but I think he doesn't want to leave me while I'm so out of sorts.

"Don't worry, I'm not worried though. Years of living at the KT house has given me an iron clad immune system", He nods, trying to joke with me and I look over at him, wondering whether or not to tell him what's really going on.

Because the truth was, Katherine couldn't catch what I probably have. Neither could Cappie.

Although... Cappie gave it to me... if you want to get technical about it.

I just give him a small nod, going back to my worried state as I let out a sigh, feeling a little uncomfortable sitting here beside him.

"I know we haven't really been talking much Case, but if you need anything, I hope you know you can still come to me", He looks to me seriously.

"Thanks", I nod, giving him a smile, the first one I've been able to muster up today, feeling a little bit of relief within me. Feeling guilt too though, guilt for not telling him about why I'm like this.

"So what are you doing here…?", Cappie scoffs, gesturing to the bench we're on.

"I just… I guess I just don't want to go home. There's kind of something I have to do and I'm… I'm putting off doing it", I explain.

He nods up and down, looking a little confused.

"Well usually procrastinating is my thing Case", He laughs. "Not yours".

"I'm just… dealing with something right now Cappie", I sigh, feeling the need to explain why I'm acting so weird.

"Okay…", He takes this in. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I think to myself then. Yes I want to talk about it. You have no idea how much I want to talk about it, specifically to you.

All I wanted to do was jump in his arms, let him comfort me. Because he was really the only person that could. Of course, I'd love to spill what's going on to Ash, but we were in a huge fight right now. And I could also go find comfort in Rusty. But the fact was… neither one of them were him. Neither one of them were the person that I really wanted, the one person that this whole thing really involved.

"No", I land on, sighing and looking down to play with my bracelet on my wrist. "It's fine, it's kind of… private I guess".

"Okay", He looks a little confused by that, and maybe a little hurt.

"I didn't mean it like that…", I make sure to say. "I- I just can't talk to you about it, that's all".

"Why not?"

"I don't know", I groan, even though I know full well why. We weren't together. We hooked up, we told each other we loved each other again while we were both drunk, we allowed ourselves to go there again even when we shouldn't. And now it was awkward. "Because… I can't".

He scoffs then, like he doesn't want to accept my response.

"Well okay… what about Ashleigh then? Maybe she could help?", He shrugs.

"We haven't made up", I shrug. "We haven't talked since… since homecoming".

I feel tears spring to my eyes then but I try blinking them back.

Me and Cappie look at each other then, just the mere mention of homecoming setting something off in us.

I feel the need to get out of here now, get away from him before I start to cry in front of him.

"Oh I'm sorry Case", He gives me a sad look. "I thought you guys would find some way to... to make up".

"It's fine…", I shake my head and put my purse over my shoulder, standing up. "I should go anyways. Thanks Cap…. for checking on me".

I purse my lips into a quick smile and then turn to try and walk away.

"Wait, hold on", I hear his footsteps behind me as he puts his hand on my arm, gently pulling me back around to face him.

Just his mere touch made me want more of it. Made me want to just fall into his arms and cry. I wanted more comfort than just his hand on me.

"Case I'm just gonna keep worrying about you", He gives me a slightly desperate look, shaking his head. "I know you think that you can't talk to me because of what happened with us on homecoming but… you can, I promise. Or… or at least try to talk to someone. You're worrying me".

I can't help but notice how genuine he looks when he says that, his eyes yearning for me to tell him what's going on, yearning to just know that I'm okay.

"Well I'm sorry that I'm worrying you but I'm pretty worried myself!", I let out, my voice strained, tears threatening to make my voice crack. "And I can't talk to Ashleigh! And I definitely can't talk to you!"

I put my hands up in the air in frustration, embarrassed as ever for breaking down in front of him, it certainly wasn't what I'd set out to do today. I hadn't even thought I would see him.

"What do you mean you can't talk to me? You can always talk to me. We're talking right now, aren't we?", Cap looks at me with a shake of his head.

"I can't talk to you because….", I let out a deep sigh then as I put a hand on my temple, putting my head back in annoyance that he's seeing me like this. "Because we fucked! And now things are weird!"

"Casey…", He trails off when I meet his eyes again.

"Don't, it's fine", I shake my head as he comes closer to me, and I'm unsure if he's going to try to hug me or not but I put my arm out in front of me to stop him just in case he tries to.

He looks at me, a sad and frustrated expression taking over his features.

"You were the one that wanted to the other night. I… I guess I just shouldn't have let it happen", Cappie sighs, looking perversely serious. So much so, that it was an extreme rarity from him. "I'm sorry… I guess it was a mistake".

I look down then.

"Yeah I guess it was", I look to my shoes, feeling my heart break a little bit at the words that come out of his mouth. I didn't want it to be a mistake. It sure didn't feel like a mistake. Not at the time. And if I was being honest, it still didn't.

"Well… that's just great to hear. I'm sorry that it was such a big, awful lapse in judgment. Don't worry, it won't happen again", I hear Cappie say, scoffing out of frustration and when I look up to meet his blue eyes they're filled with a storm of emotion. His face full of much more than just his usual joking expression. He looks a little bitter, upset.

"Cap, I didn't mean-", I immediately begin to say. I didn't want to hurt him, I couldn't hurt him.

"Are you gonna be okay? I've gotta get to class", He asks me plainly, cutting me off as he looks at me with dead eyes, his expression and tone void of emotion.

"To class?", I question in a meek voice.

"Yeah I'm going to class, it… shouldn't be that surprising", his tone is biting and I know not to push any further.

"Oh okay, no I know, I just…", I trail off and then shake my head, feeling awkward, and feeling like a class A jerk. "Bye Cap. See you around".

"Yeah okay", he nods, still looking hurt, not able to give me any semblance of his usual self. "Around it is".

He gives me one last curt smile, which I can tell is extremely forced and insincere, and then he turns to walk away.

Crap.

This reminded me of the start of senior year. Pretty much exactly a year ago today. When I'd been dating Max and me and Cappie had that all nighter night of studying where I realized he still had feelings for me. That's the angriest I've ever see him get with me. The tone he gets, the frustration, the icy look on his face. And it all stemmed from me hurting him, from rejection.

Why the hell was I rejecting someone I loved? Someone that I really needed right now. Someone who I might need more than ever if what I fear is true.

And it wasn't like he didn't know that I loved him. At least I thought he still knew... I had told him multiple times that night. Once when he pulled away from kissing me to tell me that we shouldn't do it because we were drunk. I'd mumbled it against his lips but I knew he could hear me because it's what kept him kissing me I think.

And then I'd said it once during the sex, I couldn't help saying it, it just felt so good, being with him again in that way after us being apart so long. After not knowing if I was ever going to be with him like that again.

And he'd said it back. He'd looked so happy, so surprised when I'd said it. I remembered laying there underneath him, seeing the hope in his eyes above me. He was holding me so gently, moving into me, and with each thrust I felt closer and closer to him. So when I'd said it, that I loved him, he froze. Then he tucked my hair behind my ear, smiled, and then said it back to me. And even though I was drunk I couldn't wipe that moment from my mind if I'd tried, hearing him tell he loved me again. It was so genuine, so exhilarating to hear in that moment, knowing that it wasn't over between us.

And then afterwards when we were laying there just catching our breath as my heartbeat was trying to even itself out, he'd said it again. Turned over to me as we laid in my bed and whispered it to me softly and then taken my lips in his, our kisses messy and uncoordinated out of tiredness. When we parted I said it back, affirmed it to him and then went to sleep next to him.

And then just 6 hours later, waking up in the light of day, I'd treated him completely differently. Told him that nothing had changed between us, that we were still the same people with the same issues.

No wonder he was pissed at me.

I walk down the quad, feeling hot tears come to my eyes.

I pull out my phone then, not really knowing my exact next move, or what I was going to say, just that I needed to talk to him. He was the only other person I'd feel comfortable talking to this with, besides Ash who I couldn't talk to right now.

"Hello?", he answers the phone.

"Rusty?", I speak, just so happy he'd answered, my voice cracking as I feel relief.

"Hey Casey, what's up?"

"I- I…", I pause, not even sure where to begin. Then I just start to full on sob. "I really need you right now Rus".

"What's going on? You're scaring me, are you okay Casey?", he says and I can hear the worry in his voice.

"No, I'm not… I'm not okay", I choke out with a sob. "I think I'm pregnant Rusty".

"What? Where are you?", He asks immediately. "Wherever it is, I'll be there in 10".


"So…", Rusty starts as we stand in the living room in his and Dale's apartment. "I guess you've got to just take the leap Case… you have to know for sure".

He gestures down to the boxes of pregnancy tests on the coffee table.

Luckily Dale was out at class right now.

"I know", I groan, and then sit down on the couch. "I know I have to take them…"

I sit for a moment with my hand on my temple as he paces in front of me.

After I'd called him he'd come right to the building I was near on campus, walked with me to the campus drugstore and then gone in by himself and bought every type of pregnancy test they had. I wanted him to buy them while I waited outside… that way no one would see me, no one could start a rumour before I had a chance to even know myself.

We'd mostly just walked back here in silence. I think Rusty didn't know whether to push me or not, ask me something or bring up something that would make me even more upset. I think he was partially just in shock himself.

But now, here in the safety of his apartment, it was finally time to deal with it.

"So it's… it's Cappie's then? From that night of the KT homecoming party?", Rusty gives me a slightly uncomfortable look.

"Yeah it's Cappie's", I nod. "There's no other guy, I haven't been with anyone else since Max. So… it's his. I mean… if I am even pregnant".

"Did you guys just like… not use protection?", He gives me an awkward grimace. "Sorry… this is really weird to talk about".

"I know", I groan. "You probably don't want to hear about this, like at all".

I look down then, playing with the hem on my skirt.

"We were both kind of drunk. Me more than him I guess...", I explain. "And I... I didn't think about it the next day, but I uh… I went off my birth control pills after we broke up in May because I knew I wouldn't need them anymore. But I just… I just figured that Cappie used a condom… Especially because of the whole STD thing, I thought he would be careful on that end even if he wasn't worried about getting me pregnant".

"Oh he gets tested at the start of every school year... he calls it part of his back to school routine", Rusty laughs slightly and then looks at me like he doesn't know whether to tell me this next part. "Plus he uh... he told me that he was completely done sleeping around, told me that the day before classes started... the day you and him talked again and he realized you were staying here at CRU".

"Oh...", I take this in, nodding, not really knowing what else to say. The pang in my heart is kind of distracting me from any words right now.

"Case don't you think… you should tell him about this?", Rusty shrugs. "I mean, I'm here for you anytime Casey, you know that. And I know you're fighting with Ashleigh right now… but don't you think that this kind of involves Cappie too?"

"Well yeah", I nod. "I know it does, trust me, but how am I supposed to tell him when we're not even together? And now, on top of everything, he's pissed at me".

I feel my eyes well up with tears again.

"Not to mention he would not want this", I shake my head as I taste the salty tears coming down my face.

"Well don't you think you have to give him a chance to say that before you come to that conclusion?", Rusty offers, giving me a lecturing look.

I look over to him with a measly shrug. Because, sure, he was right. But both of us knew Cappie pretty well. And there was no point in lying, we both knew he wouldn't want a baby right now.

"Well hey, what if you're panicking for nothing?", He gives me a sympathetic look when I fail to answer him and comes over to sit beside me on the couch. "You don't even know for sure yet".

He shrugs, trying to comfort me.

But that was the thing. I just knew. I don't know what it was, maybe it was just a having intuition about my own body, maybe it was just some psychic crazy feeling, or maybe it was the fact that I was late and had been sick lately… but I just knew. I didn't even really need the test.

"Rusty… I can just feel it", I look at him with a whine. "I know I'm pregnant".

He stares back at me, I think unsure what to say.

I start to cry then, only making him look more confused about what he can do to help me.

"Okay…", He sighs. "Well uh… here I'm gonna get you the tissues".

He mutters to himself awkwardly and then gets up to find a tissue box. He's up for a while, even going into his room before coming back over to me with it.

"Thanks", I give him a soft smile, grabbing a tissue out and using it to blot my eyes.

I suddenly feel a gross feeling come over me, feeling a little light headed and sick.

"Ugh…. I'm gonna have to use your bathroom Rusty", I groan then, putting my hand over my mouth and getting up as I feel my stomach toss and turn.

I catch a worried look on his face before I find my way into the washroom, getting down on my knees and spewing whatever was left in my stomach from earlier this morning out into the toilet.

Once I'm done I lay the side of my head against the wall, trying to catch my breath. I close my eyes as my head pounds, a putrid taste in my mouth.

Stupid stupid Casey! I reprimand myself. And stupid Cappie for not using a condom! I mean… I guess I couldn't really blame him, once I was back on birth control after Thanksgiving last year and once I had urged Cappie to get tested, we never used them. I guess he just assumed we could hookup like we always did. And I was too out of it to even think about protection, to tell him I wasn't on the pill anymore. We just didn't even talk about it.

I never thought this would happen to me.

"Casey?", A knock on the bathroom door interrupts the way I'm kicking myself mentally. "You okay?"

"Yeah", I croak out. "Just… sick. It's the whole… most likely being pregnant thing. It's… morning sickness, except it seems to be all day. I threw up the past two days too, I just thought it was…. a virus. But then I noticed that it's later in the month that I thought and that I'm late…."

I hope he can infer what I mean when I say late.

"Oh… got it", I hear his voice, a little shakey like he doesn't know what to say. "I'll get you some water".

"Thanks", I'm grateful for Rusty as I lay here, weak against the cold bathroom tile.

I hear noises from the kitchen and then a knock on the door.

Who could that be?

I sit up, alert now.

"Hey Spitter, what's up? What's the big emergency? I left my class, which I know doesn't seem like a big deal for me but I'm trying this semester remem-", I hear Cappie's voice, setting off alarm bells in my mind.

Why was he here?

"Just come in Cap, this really is an emergency", I hear Rusty cut him off.

"Okay…", I hear the trepidation in Cappie's voice and then the door closes. "Hey what's Casey's bag doing here? And wait… what are all these things on the table?"

My heart starts to pound then as I realize he must see the pregnancy test boxes.

Crap! Stupid Rusty! Why couldn't he just respect my wishes?! I didn't want to tell Cappie yet!

But now I know I have to come out of the washroom, no matter how bad I feel. I was going to be forced to deal with this.

I had to be the one to break this to him, not Rusty.

I stand up off the floor, still a little shakey, but manage to open up the door and walk out into the living room.

Cappie stands looking at Rusty with a confused look on his face as Rusty says nothing.

"Hi…", I croak out awkwardly.

I meet Cappie's eyes right as his land on mine, surprise on his face when he sees me.

"Case…", He trails off, his entire expression blank, his face white as a ghost. "Are you… pregnant?"