I stand there not saying anything for a moment. I open my mouth but nothing comes out.

"I texted him to come over Case", Rusty turns to me. "I know that maybe I'm crossing a line, but you need to talk to him about this".

Rusty looks at me like he's ready to lecture me.

"I know, I know", I sigh out. "It's… fine".

Cappie still stares at me in shock.

"These tests aren't taken?", Cap points out.

"Yeah I- I have to take them. But I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant", I nod, anxiety drumming up in my chest. "I'm sorry… I was definitely going to tell you, I just… I just didn't know how and…"

"The night of homecoming?", He questions.

"Yeah", I nod. "I haven't… I haven't been with anyone else obviously… Before the other night I hadn't even slept with someone since like... May!"

I ramble on now with a sigh.

"And that was with you right before we broke up. I've only slept with you the whole past year, so obviously it's yours. And I'm sorry that I didn't think more about protection, but you know you could've used a condom too! And I could've been back on the pill if we had planned it better! Or maybe if I hadn't been drunk-", I ramble on, speaking quickly as my heart pounds in my chest.

"Oh my god", He cuts me off, looking like thoughts are swirling around in his mind a mile a minute. "You really think you're pregnant?"

He looks like he's panicking.

"Yeah….", I trail off. "I know, it's bad".

He appears to be taking this in. I look over to Rusty as we share a look, both of us I think unsure quite how Cappie is feeling. I mean, shocked would be a good word. But otherwise I can't really gage whether he's about to jump out the window or cry.

"I'm just gonna sit down while you…. take this in…", I say quietly. I still felt pretty terrible from throwing up.

I take a drink of the water Rusty had gotten me while I wait for Cap to somewhat wrap his head around this.

"Well you didn't take them yet, maybe you're not?", He shrugs. "You're probably not. There's like false alarms all the time right? Why do you think you're pregnant anyway?"

He's definitely coming up with any reasons he can to make this not real, to be in denial, something Cappie was fairly good at.

"Well for starters, I'm late…", I give him an insinuating look so he knows I'm talking about my period. "Like… 8 days late which I totally would've noticed earlier if I wasn't so stressed with law school stuff".

I sigh out.

"Well can't stress like… make your period late? That's a thing right?", he looks at me with a nod.

"No Cappie", I groan. "Not this late. And I'm sick, as you know. I threw up this morning in class, and just now again. And yesterday and the day before in the morning".

"Maybe it's the flu? It's November, that's flu season", Cappie shrugs.

"Cappie!", I'm slightly annoyed now. "I know my own body! Somethings not right! My boobs feel weird, I'm beyond tired, I've felt like crap all week, I've had these weird cramp feelings which I thought was my period coming on but…"

I trail off with a sigh.

"Yeah maybe I could like… not be here for this conversation?", Rusty interrupts the way me and Cappie stare each other down in panic.

I look over to Rusty then.

"Sorry you probably don't want to hear about my boobs Rus but this is an emergency! I'm freaking out!", I whine. "And I should've realized earlier!"

"Well you haven't even taken the tests yet, right?", Cappie asks, still looking absolutely petrified.

"Yeah I know…. I have to take them", I nod. "But Cap… I just know I am, I can tell".

"Okay, well…", He shakes his head. "Maybe there's still a chance that you're not".

He still keeps suggesting this, probably holding onto any hope he can.

"Yeah guys, I hate to do this but… I have to go to class, and I'm sorry I called Cappie here Case, but I really think he's who you need right now. Why don't you take the tests together? I mean you're the ones that… made a baby together… if this is real", Rusty suggests looking back and forth at the two of us. "You can stay here as long as you want, you have a key to lock up Case. Dale has his church group so he won't be home until like 8 tonight".

Rusty gives me a supportive nod, trying to urge me to let Cappie in on this.

"Wait you're leaving me?", I look at him in a slight panic.

"Yeah but I'll be back after my class. You got this Casey", He gives me a nod. "Cappie's here".

Rusty gestures over to Cap and I can't really seem to explain to Rusty with just a look that that was the exact reason why I didn't want him to leave the apartment. Because me and Cappie hadn't really been alone together since that night. And it's not like we left things on the greatest terms this morning.

"Okay….", I sigh wearily and we both watch Rusty walk out the door with his books and then we just stare at each other awkwardly for a moment, alone now.

"Well uh… for two people who've seen each other naked a billion times you'd think we'd be more comfortable being alone in a room together", he scoffs slightly, I think trying to make light of this.

"Not funny", I whine. "I'm scared Cappie".

I give him a look then, tears in my eyes, panic on my face, looking to him for I don't know what. Support maybe? Reassurance?

Reassurance of what I'm not really sure, since its not like I really expected him to be up to stick around with me if I'm having a baby. That wasn't really something I could see him doing.

"I know, I'm sorry", he sighs. "And I'm sorry about… the whole no protection thing. I thought we were covered, we always were last year. I thought you were on the pill?"

"Well I'm not anymore", I sigh.

"Why not?", He looks confused.

"Because! Because we broke up and I couldn't even fathom sleeping with anyone else Cappie!", I practically yell at him. "So I didn't need it!"

"You didn't sleep with anyone else that whole time?", He asks, looking a little surprised, a little happy actually, which I wasn't really sure why he would be at a time like this.

"No… I didn't. Why are you smiling?", I groan.

"Sorry", he shakes his head, trying to wipe his grin off his face. "I just… I guess I'm just happy that you didn't hookup with anyone else. Thinking about that… makes me sick".

"Not as sick as I am right now", I mutter as I give him a glare.

He looks down at me with a sigh. I'm sitting down on the couch and he's standing in front of me, towering over me. I'm curled up with my arms crossed, my body language telling him I'm not really ready yet to fully let him in with all of this right now.

"Well I know you didn't do the same as me over your summer", I cross my arms, looking a little bitter. "I heard all about your cross country girl buffet from Rusty".

"I'm sorry", he looks down with a sigh.

I shrug then.

"I know how you are Cap, I get it", I say quietly. "Trust me. It's why… it's why I wasn't going to tell you about this today. Because this is my problem, not yours".

"Case…", He looks at me softly now, coming closer to me. "If we're gonna have a baby together… I'd want to know, okay? It's not just on you. It's gonna be okay".

"No it's not Cappie!", I throw my arms up in the air. "How can you think this is going to be okay? We're not even a couple!"

"I know but…", He rolls his eyes and then looks at me intently. "We love each other!"

We lock eyes then, both of us emotional right now.

"I mean I love you!", he throws his hands in the air. "I'm sure you know that by now. And… that night during homecoming you told me you loved me too".

"You remember that?", I let out in a meek voice.

"Yeah of course I do", he says like it's obvious. "I wasn't even that drunk".

I can't help but feel a sheepish smile make its way across my face. He still loved me.

"Okay", I nod.

"Do you still… do you still feel that way? Or was that just like… a mid sex thing?", he asks me tentatively, like he's worried about what the answer is going to be. "Before we do the test, before we find out, do you still love me?"

"Of course I do Cappie! You know that. But that doesn't mean-", I start until he cuts me off.

"That's all we need to know!", He states. "I know that there's a lot of other… issues we have to deal with, and now the whole you maybe being pregnant thing we might have to deal with, but… you and me love each other Case! Isn't that all that matters?"

He looks to me desperately.

"It doesn't mean you and I can raise a baby Cappie!", I argue. "I mean I know for a fact that this is the last thing on earth that you'd want! And I don't want you to do this if you don't really want to, it would be wrong to force you to because you'll just resent me and resent the baby and... our whole relationship will implode".

"Well we don't even know if you are yet", He argues. "And… how do you know I don't want a baby?"

I give him a look as I raise my eyebrows, crossing my arms at him like it should be completely obvious.

"Okay", He sighs with a roll of his eyes. "Point taken… I know I'm not really the first person you'd think of to become a dad, and getting someone pregnant is like… my top worst fear in life…"

I give him a look then, scoffing.

"Sorry", He shakes his head as if he regrets saying that and then comes to sit down beside me on the couch. "That came out wrong. Getting someone pregnant is my top worst fear in life but… getting you pregnant wouldn't be that bad. I… I know that it doesn't seem like I'd want this, but I promise that if you are… we'll deal with this together".

"Yeah?", I croak out.

"Yeah", He nods as he rests a hand on my knee. "And… I mean, I would've wanted to do this with you when we're older but if it's happening now then… then I'll be here for whatever you want to do".

"I'd wanna keep it", I say quietly, worried that that's gonna scare him. "I've thought about it the whole morning and I wouldn't be able to get an abortion or give it away. I just know I wouldn't be able to go through with it".

"Yeah that's okay", He nods. "I… I assumed that's what we'd do if you are pregnant".

I can't help but smile a bit then at him saying 'we' because this whole entire day had felt very isolating. Very much like this whole thing was strictly a 'me' situation, like I was going to have to navigate the whole thing myself.

"Really?", I still confirm with him. "Because… I kinda thought that keeping it would mean this would be something I'd be taking on by myself".

"What?", He looks surprised, and kind of hurt. "Why would you think that? Any of these past four years that we've been in a position to get pregnant I would be there for you Case, I thought you knew that".

"Sorry… I- I should've thought more of you, I just know that you don't do that well with commitment... and future stuff…", I shrug, feeling bad for underestimating him.

"Well when it comes to you I'm willing to do all of that stuff Case", He assures me.

"Okay", I nod. "Well… why don't I actually take some of these then?"

I sigh. I already kind of figured they'd be positive but I knew I had to check.

"Did you buy the store's entire stock?", He laughs, mocking me slightly at the sheer amount of tests I had on the table.

I give him a joking glare as I open one of them, a Clearblue one.

"I just told Rusty to get as many as possible!", I argue. "I want to be sure!"

"Okay, I'm not judging", He laughs as he puts his hands up. "Wait Case?…"

He stops me from getting up to go to the washroom.

"Even if it's not positive… can we… can we still at least talk about us?", His blue eyes beg me. "At least… think about talking to each other again or being together in some way even if we just take it slow? I know that this… taking a pregnancy test together… is like the least fun or romantic thing but it's still just really nice to be able to talk to you again".

I think to myself for a moment and then nod, giving him a small smile. Because I felt it too. I'd finally admitted it to myself around this time last year. Cutting him out of my life was way too hard. I never thought I would miss him so much, miss having him as a constant in my life.

"Well I don't want to be with anyone else. And… I want to have you in my life", I settle on with a sigh. It was just the truth. I hadn't even been interested in dating since I broke up with him, and especially not since I figured out I was able to stay here at CRU. I didn't really tell anyone but I mostly stayed here for him, because I knew I wasn't going to feel this way with anyone else. "You know I want to be with you Cap… it's just scary".

"Why?"

"Because! Because even though you seem to have very little fear of anything, I worry!", I argue. "I worry about whether our relationship can make it. We're so different and you don't want to leave here. And every time we've tried us before, it's failed! And I'd rather… I'd rather keep some dumb fantasy of us being together alive rather than try again and have it not work out. I don't want to go through that again, much less put a baby through that now".

He looks back at me, taking my words in as I finally tell him how I feel.

"I know that if we have a baby, I'll love it and I know you Cap and I know that if you want to be around for it then you'll love it too and you'll be a good dad… but I don't know if we can be together like that right now", I sigh.

"But we love each other", He says like it should be obvious. "Doesn't that… trump everything else?"

"Not if we're trying to be mature", I argue. "Here just… wait here, I'm gonna take these. We need to know for sure".

I sigh, giving him a sad look, really not wanting to hurt him right now. But I knew I had to be the realistic one.

I take a few more boxes and go to walk to the washroom while Cappie waits on the couch.

I manage to take about 5 in one pee. I put the caps on them and then wash my hands quickly, looking at myself in the mirror for a moment.

I still looked the exact same so it was pretty crazy to think that I could actually have a fetus growing inside me right now.

I open the door and walk back out to him, putting them down on the table in front of us.

"How long do they take?", He looks over to me anxiously.

"3 minutes", I take a sharp breath in. "And… it's already been about 1 or 2".

"Okay", He lets out a deep sigh as we sit in silence except for the noise of me tapping my feet anxiously.

"Okay I… I think we can look now", I give him a scared look. "My hearts pounding Cap".

"I know, me too", he nods, giving me a sympathetic look.

"You look, I can't do it", I sit back on the couch, turning and putting my hands over my face.

"Okay", he nods, his voice shakey.

"What do they say?!", I ask him when I don't hear him say anything.

"Well… you know your own body Case", He gulps. "I guess… I guess we're having a baby…"

I take my hands away from my eyes then, looking at him as tears start to pool.

I look down in his hand to take the test from him. It was the Clearblue one that literally spelled it out for you.

"Pregnant… 5 weeks", I read it, my voice cracking as the piece of plastic shakes in my hand.

I start to sob then, unable to stop the way my body wracks with each sob that comes over me.

After a moment I feel Cappie's hands on me, pulling me into him on the couch. Even though I'd been hesitant to let him in with this, right now I fully let this happen. I let him completely envelope me in a hug as I sob against his chest, clutching onto him.

And I mentally thank Rusty for calling Cappie over here despite my wishes. Because anyone else wouldn't be as comforting. Because no one else was him.

"I don't…", I let out a curdled noise before speaking again. "I don't know why I'm crying, I knew it was going to be positive".

I just keep crying into his chest.

"I know…. shh, it's okay", He whispers as I feel him pet down my hair, stroking the back of my head, trying to comfort me right now. "It's gonna be okay".

"No it's not!", I cry out.

I pull away from him to look at him then. He's not crying but his blue eyes look stormy, in upheaval, I'm sure not loving the fact that I'm so upset right now and he can't do anything about it.

"They're all positive?", I sniffle, leaning forward to look at the other ones.

Two of them are the First Response ones, the pink ones with the lines.

"Two lines….", I look at them as Cappie grabs the box for them. "One of the lines is faint but… it's there".

"Yeah two lines means pregnant", he nods.

"I knew it", I wipe away the tears from my cheeks and then look at the other two tests. "These ones just have smiley faces on them and say 5 weeks".

I roll my eyes at the sheer insanity of the stupid smiley faces. As if everyone who's buying a pregnancy test is wanting a positive result.

"We slept together 3 weeks ago…", Cappie gives me a confused look. "Shouldn't you be three weeks along? They might be wrong?"

"No Cappie, they measure how pregnant you are from the date of your last period", I give him a look. "Which I had… just under 5 weeks ago. And… I was ovulating when we had sex. I really shouldn't be surprised that I'm pregnant, I mean how stupid can I be?!"

I bury my head in my hands as I cry some more.

I feel his hands run up and down my back.

"You're not stupid, it's okay", he tries to comfort me. "I'm the one that feels stupid, I was less drunk than you were… I just thought we could have sex like usual but I should've asked you about protection".

"Well I didn't exactly give you a chance", I roll my eyes at myself. "If I remember that night correctly I was pretty… rabid".

I groan then as I shake my head.

"Yeah…", Cappie nods as I see his face start to turn into a smirk.

"Cap!", I groan as I swat his arm for even thinking about anything sexual right now.

"Right sorry…", He shakes himself out of it, trying to be serious again. "Well… maybe this isn't so bad".

He shrugs his shoulders.

"How do you figure?", I sniffle.

"Well me and you would've maybe had a kid anyway in the future", He offers with a shrug. "So… we're just speeding it up. And it wasn't like it was just a random hookup… I mean I guess it kind of was but… it's you and me".

"Yeah", I nod then, taking in his fair point. "I know".

"I know this seems really bad right now and I'm scared too but I know you want to keep it, and we can make that work", He nods.

"Yeah?", I question.

"Yeah, I'll… I'll graduate this semester. I have enough credits. And… you could probably finish out the year right?"

"Ugh god, I don't know Cap. I think law school is probably off the table if I'm gonna have a baby", I groan. "I already calculated it… and it would be born in mid July. So… technically I could finish the year, but how the hell am I gonna finish the next two years when I'm trying to raise a baby?"

"Well I could take care of it while you're in class?", He shrugs.

"I don't know", I shake my head. "I'm pretty sure they need their mom in the first years of their life the most. I think I'll just have to drop out".

"I'm sorry", he looks down with a sigh, truly looking like he feels bad. "I feel really guilty for doing this to you. I know how hard you worked to get into law school".

"Cap", I roll my eyes at him. "You didn't do this to me, you were the one who was trying to pull me off of you…. for once in our relationship".

I laugh slightly then at the insanity of this.

"Believe me, I… wanted it", I assure him. "I mean, the sex, not the baby".

"Yeah", he nods, giving me a slight smirk as we sit here awkwardly.

"I can't believe this… I don't even know what I'm gonna tell everyone", I sigh. "My parents are gonna kill me, for the first time in my life I'm not talking to Ash… everyone else is just going to think I'm stupid. Not to mention everyone is going to wonder who the dad is…"

I groan as I put my hand on my temple.

"Well… we'll just be upfront about it to everyone", He shrugs. "Obviously people are gonna know it was an accident but who cares what people think?"

"I know you don't", I give him a look. "You're good at that. But me…."

I sigh then.

"I just never thought I'd be pregnant this young. I've never even had a pregnancy scare until now… and there was still some little part of me that thought that maybe I was just being paranoid", I whine. "I'm usually the responsible one. You just… somehow bring out the… not so responsible side of me".

I sigh.

"Sorry", he laughs, giving me a smirk.

"It's… it's okay", I nod, looking at him. And for the first time today I truly let myself want to be with him. I mean… I always wanted to be with him, that was sort of just a constant at this point that I didn't have much control over. It had been like that since I met him. But I was good at suppressing it. Good at suppressing it if I wasn't drunk at least.

But now, looking into his eyes, looking up and down at his soft expression, I knew he was still always gonna be that guy for me. The one I'd met at a party when I was 18, the one who I lost my virginity to, the one who I'd really done all my firsts with. The first person I'd ever loved, the only person I'd ever really loved.

And now I guess I was doing another first with him too and in a way it made sense to me.

"I guess…", I look at him softly now. "I guess this is fitting… having a baby with you".

He seems to perk up at that, raising an eyebrow at me, looking for me to elaborate.

"Whenever I thought into the future about having kids with someone… the only person I pictured being their dad was you", I admit, feeling a little vulnerable doing so, but it was just the truth. "Even if it was unrealistic".

"Well it's… not unrealistic now", Cap gives me a slight shake of his head, still in disbelief.

"I wouldn't want to have a baby with anyone else so…", I sigh, giving him a shrug.

"I wouldn't want to either", He says quietly with a nod, looking down at me like he wants to kiss me and I half think he will until I put my hand up to rest on his chest.

"Wait, let's not…", I let out. "Just not right now Cap. I can't handle wondering what we are right now. Can you just… maybe hold me for a little while?"

I look at him, my eyes doe eyed, just wanting his comfort right now. Needing that from him.

"Yeah", he nods. "Of course, of course I can do that".

He pulls me into him gently then so I'm resting against him. I hadn't been romantic with anyone in months, well besides the night when this whole pregnancy thing happened. So this felt nice, even if it was accompanied with the most anxiety I've ever had in my life rushing through my body.

At least I knew I wasn't alone.

I still cry softly against him as he runs his hand up and down my arm, trying to comfort me in any way he can. I take my hand to hold onto his then, intertwining my fingers with his own and just holding onto him like that.

I don't think either one of us knew how long we would sit here like this, both panicking internally, but I don't think he was gonna question it. He was gonna let me hold onto him for however long I needed.