Cappie managed to cart a very emotional me out of the Cyprus Women's clinic. But not before we set up another appointment to come back when I'm 8 weeks, and not before they gave us a whole package to read about pregnancy stuff. It was a bunch of paperwork that was basically a pregnancy bible. What I couldn't eat, what prenatals to get, things I couldn't do now, remedies to help early pregnancy symptoms, things to expect in the first trimester. And then we got some papers me and Cappie would have to fill out and bring back regarding our medical history, mostly mine but there were a couple questions for the dad too.
We picked up a pizza and then made our way back to the Kappa Tau house to go talk in his room. I wasn't about to show up at ZBZ with him, the girls would have spread the fact that we're spending time together again all over Greek row by dinner time if I did that.
"Oh hey guys", Beaver greets us as we walk through KT, he's sitting on the couch watching some sort of nature show with Dumptruck and Anthony Hopkins.
Beaver looks from me to Cappie and gives us a smirk, like he's judging this situation, judging the fact that I'm here with Cap.
"Hey", Cappie grins, holding the pizza in his arms. "And before you ask… this is for me and Case Beav".
Cappie gestures to the pizza with a laugh.
"Aww is it meat lovers?", Beaver frowns like a little kid.
"No Beaver, you know I hate those meaty pizzas you guys always get!", I put my hands on my hips but can't help but laugh.
KT was basically always stocked with meat lovers pizza. Which grossed me out before I was pregnant and now would probably only gross me out even more.
"Alright then I don't care if it's not meat lovers", Beaver concludes with a sigh.
"Okay good Beav", Cappie laughs and we turn to go to the stairs.
"Wait a sec! You're really not gonna tell us what are you guys doing here together?", Beaver gives us a suggestive look, grinning ear to ear.
It was funny, I think Beaver was honestly one of the people who was the most affected when we broke up last Spring. We'd come to hangout a lot and I know he liked us together, liked that Cappie was happy I think, and liked having me around the house.
Nonetheless, I couldn't have them thinking we were back together right now. Or worse, suspect that I'm pregnant.
"We're just working on a project", I say immediately.
I mean... technically it was true. We were gonna go upstairs to fill out the forms and read up about what to do over these next few months for our baby. That was sort of a project if you will.
"But Cappie's not in law school?", Anthony Hopkins gives us a confused look.
"No…", Cap says with an awkward shrug. "But hey I'm thinking about applying! What do you guys think?"
"Kinda seems like it would be a lot of work Cap", Beaver shrugs with a frown.
I can't help but laugh to myself then and look over to Cappie, catching his eye as we struggle to not giggle.
"Well anyways, Case is just gonna give me the rundown about the whole LSAMs thing", Cappie lies.
"LSATs Cap", I correct him.
"Right", He nods. "See how much I need her guidance… anyways see you later guys!"
Me and Cappie awkwardly shuffle by them and make our way to the stairs.
"Yeah they're totally banging again!", I hear Beaver's voice behind us as he laughs.
"Good for Cappie, at least he's finally getting laid. I was starting to worry about him there, he'd gone like… 2 months without having a girl in his room", I hear Dumptruck whisper. "It's definitely not like him".
"I know right", Anthony Hopkins chimes in.
I look over to Cappie to give him a look and he purses his lips awkwardly, and then breaks out into a smirk.
"Yeah I guess the guys don't realize we can still hear them", He laughs, speaking quietly. "And our story wasn't… the most believable".
We keep walking up the stairs now as I giggle.
"Yeah not exactly", I agree.
My phone goes off then as we walk down the upstairs hallway to Cappie's room.
I see a text on my phone and open it.
Evan: Hey what's going on with you? You missed a whole day of classes, Segal's gonna kill you.
I sigh then as my mind is brought back to law school and the fact that I had no idea what the hell I was going to do about it now.
"Everything okay?", Cappie pulls me out of my thoughts and I look up at him waiting for me and then I shove my phone back into my purse. I would answer Evan later.
"Yeah, fine", I nod with a smile and we make our way into his room, him closing the door behind us.
We sit down on his bed with the pizza, just cheese like I liked.
I put my purse down on his bed, pulling out all the paperwork we had to look over as well as the strip of photos from the ultrasound.
"I'm really happy we got to see it Case", Cappie smiles, gesturing to the photo strip.
"Me too", I nod. "Even if it made me breakdown a bit… which was a little embarrassing…"
We both laugh then.
"Don't worry, I'm sure they see that all the time", Cappie touches my knee and I can't help but feel a pang in my stomach at his mere touch.
"I don't know… I guess I just had no idea that it would already have a heartbeat forming and that seeing it in there would… make me feel something", I explain. "I mean we only slept together like… 3 weeks ago and here it is already growing each day, it's kinda surreal".
"Yeah tell me about it", Cappie scoffs and opens up the pizza, us both taking a slice.
"I just wish I could show Ash Cap", I sigh, holding onto the photo strip. "That's one of the first things that came to my mind when we got these pictures".
"I know", Cappie frowns. "But hey... Rusty will definitely want to see them, he'll probably even be over here later… and maybe… maybe you could just call Ashleigh?"
"She could call me too!", I argue. "She honestly owes me an apology".
"I know but… maybe it's not worth it to fight, I mean there's more important things now", Cappie shrugs and picks up the photo strip of the ultrasound, grinning a little bit. "Like this… which I know she would be supportive of if she knew. Even if she doesn't approve of you and me being together…"
Cappie sighs then, I can tell this kind of bothering him, the fact that Ash didn't think me and him were going to work out.
"I know she'll want what's best for you", he finishes his sentence.
"Yeah but… you are what's best for me Cap", I say hesitantly then, worried I'm being too honest, too vulnerable. "I mean… I'm not even talking in a romantic relationship kind of way, just a you being in my life way… and she can't seem to support me with that".
I groan then.
I can see the way he smiles a bit at the fact that I'm admitting that I think he's good for me.
"Well maybe she just said all that stuff because she's having a rough time right now", Cappie offers. "She probably didn't mean it. And even if she did, I'm sure she can put her feelings about me aside and still support you".
"Okay, you're right Cap", I nod then, giving him a smile. "You know… this pizza is really good"
I moan as I take another bite of my slice, actually having an appetite for once in the past week.
"Good", He laughs. "You need to eat since I know you've been barely able to keep much down the past few days…"
"Well hopefully I don't throw this up later, I don't want to ruin pizza for myself... there's already a lot of things I'm having aversions to", I sigh. "They call it morning sickness but it literally lasts all day".
I put my head back with an annoyed groan then.
"Well in these papers they gave us they said to try peppermint tea… gingerale and Zofran for the nausea", he says, gesturing to the paperwork they'd given us at the front desk before we'd left. "I also have this killer smoothie that us KT's call the hangover elixir… the secret ingredient is hot sauce".
I give him a grossed out look then and giggle.
"Ew Cap… I think I'll just stick to the tea and stuff", I laugh. "Also… I have to get started on prenatals, I'm gonna go by the pharmacy later and get some".
"Yeah definitely we should do that right away", he agrees with a nod.
I start to look through the papers that we have to fill out as we keep eating.
"Oh god, this part is talking about whether I want a hospital birth or a home birth", I laugh. "Well I know what I'm circling… those water birth things freak me out".
I immediately circle the hospital birth option.
"What, you don't want to be splashing around like a whale in their inclosure at Seaworld while our kid claws their way out of your downstairs?", He grins, obviously amused by this but I just give him a glare. "And hey! We even have a kiddie pool outside in the backyard that we could use!"
Cappie gestures out his window to the KT's backyard, obviously having fun teasing me but I just narrow my eyes at him with a smirk.
"No! That literally sounds horrible!", I groan. "The whole entire birth thing sounds horrible but it's still 9 months away so…"
I take a deep breath in then, still really freaked out by this.
"I'm just going to live in delusional land for the next little bit and pretend that this baby never has to come out", I sigh out, half joking, half serious because I really didn't want to think about having to give birth.
"Works for me", Cappie laughs.
"This part is talking about how many people you can have in the room", I read the next page. "You have to choose one person to be your primary birthing partner and then I guess you can have three other people there while you're giving birth too".
"Do you…. Do you want me there or would that be too weird for you?", Cappie asks, stuttering as he looks a little nervous to ask me.
"No…", I look at him softly then. "I want you there Cappie. I mean, unless you don't want to be-"
"No, trust me, I wanna be there", he cuts me off and speaks strongly. "Even if we're not together I really want to be there when it's born… and be there to support you obviously".
"Okay good", I can't help but smile then as I nod. "Because… I don't really even want 4 people in the room, I feel like that would just make me even more self conscious… Obviously I have a lot of time still to figure everything out but… I think I only really want you there when it's actually born. And... Ash there for the pre pushing part, if we even make up. And Rusty could be there too maybe, but definitely not while I'm like... pushing and stuff".
We both laugh slightly then as I cringe.
"Yeah that would be kinda weird, not to mention he would definitely pass out", Cappie jokes and I giggle.
"Yeah last time he had to get his blood drawn I had to go with him to student health for moral support", I laugh with a groan.
"I had to do that with him his freshman year!", Cappie laughs along with me.
I realize then that me and Cappie were basically Rusty's big brother and sister. I mean biologically I was, but Cappie had always been there for him too. I couldn't lie, way back two years ago when Rusty had come to CRU the fact that Cappie had treated him so kindly, had taken care of him so much, it made me see Cap in a new light that I really liked. And it's one of the reasons I know that he had qualities of what a good dad would be.
I can't help but bite my lip then, trying to conceal a smile as I think about that.
"What about… what about your parents Case?", Cappie interrupts my thoughts. "You kind of have to tell them eventually right?"
"Ugh god", I sigh. "I really am not looking forward to that, they're gonna kill me. I mean, my mom has always just seen me as a ditzy sorority girl. When I was applying to law schools, I could tell she didn't think I would get in".
I roll my eyes then, always hurt by how little my parents seemed to think of me.
"And my dad… well me and my dad barely even know what to talk about ever since I got boobs in eighth grade", I joke and Cappie laughs, smirking at me. "Not to mention… I'm pretty sure he still thinks I'm a virgin. Or at least he probably prefers to live in delusion and just assume that no one's ever touched me".
"Well…", Cappie gives me an awkward look and then laughs. "Unfortunately that train left the station awhile ago".
"Yeah, you would know", I scoff, joking with him. "You were there for it".
He grins then, looking mischievous at the mention of us having sex for the first time four years ago.
"Yeah… they're definitely gonna hate me", Cappie sighs.
"Maybe not…", I shrug, trying to make him feel better even though I know my parents are going to want to kill him when they find out I'm pregnant. "They know how much Rusty likes you… how good you've been to him. So maybe they'll try to accept you".
"Yeah but like you said, I stole their only daughters precious virginity", Cappie jokes with me. "And then I got her unexpectedly pregnant while we're still in our early twenties…"
"And while I just started law school in which they're paying for…", I add in with a groan. "They're gonna kill me for messing this up, I'm literally never gonna hear the end of it Cap. They're gonna tell me that I should've just gone to GW, my mom was already mad that I decided to stay at CRU. Me getting pregnant is just going to confirm with them what they've always thought of me, that I'm not capable of anything".
I frown, looking down into my lap sadly.
Cappie's hand extends out to mine then, taking it in his own gently and I look up at him to meet his eyes.
"Well it doesn't matter if they think that because I know that's not true, and anyone else that truly knows you knows it too", Cappie asserts. "You're the most capable person I know, seriously. You always have been Case".
"Thanks", I smile at him sheepishly, a little flustered by his words. "Cap… one of the reasons I'm so scared to tell my parents is because I really feel like my mom is gonna want me to get an abortion".
I sigh then.
"Well it's not like she can make you", Cappie says.
"I know that, it's just… I don't really want to hear about it, I don't want to have her be super negative and unsupportive. Not when I'm already so scared as it is. And I know I want to keep the baby… especially after today", I say strongly.
"Don't worry", Cappie nods, his eyes soft. "We'll keep it. We're adults Case. I know we're still pretty young and we have to figure a lot of stuff out… like a lot, but I know that me and you can do this".
"Okay", I nod, speaking quietly because I'm so taken aback by his sudden confidence about our situation. "They're gonna think I'm crazy for wanting to have it, but you're right it's my decision… so they're just going to have to try to accept it. What about… what about your parents Cap?"
"Well…", Cappie thinks to himself. "They've never really been beacons of making mature decisions… they're not your typical, run of the mill parents. I honestly don't really know how they'll react but I think they'll be okay. They really like you".
"Really?", I can't help but smile a bit then.
"Oh yeah, my mom is like… obsessed with you. She was pretty pissed at me when I told her we broke up. But I just told her that we had to so that you could go do your thing in Washington and be successful", Cappie explains. "And now here I am… dragging you down".
"Stop", I frown at him and look at him softly, not wanting him to keep blaming himself. "You're not Cap. This is my mess that I made too alright? You didn't do this to me".
"It's what everyone is going to think when they find out Case", Cappie sighs, I can tell still feeling guilty about this, about the fact that law school was up in the air now for me. And he was probably also thinking about the fact that we're going to have to deal with a lot of people's opinions about this, most of them being negative.
"Well… who cares", I shrug.
"That's usually my line Case", Cap laughs then. "Are you becoming more like me? Maybe it's because my spawn's DNA is taking over your body and making you think like me".
He's giving me his usual smirk now, that usual mischievous Cappie look, perking up a bit now to joke around with me like usual.
"Maybe…", I giggle with a roll of my eyes. "I don't know… I think graduating… being a bit older now… it just makes me not care as much about my image as I did when I was in sophomore and junior year when the way people perceived me was literally all I thought about. Now I just don't care as much. I feel like I kind of have dating you to thank to for that".
I give him a smile then, Cappie looking kind of touched at my comment.
"Well I'm glad I brought you into the dark side", Cappie jokes. "We shouldn't care what anyone thinks anyways, it's none of their business".
"People like Evan and Rebecca will definitely have their opinions and try and make it their business though, I'm sure of that", I groan.
"Yeah Evs will probably want to strangle me when he finds out, probably will call me a low life loser or something like that. He's really gotta start coming up with new material", Cappie sighs jokingly.
"You're not a low life loser", I assure him, looking into his eyes. "And honestly after the way Evan's treated me lately… I'm not even sure that he should have the right to talk to me about my life choices at all".
"What do you mean? What's he been doing to you?", Cappie turns into overprotective mode in literally 0.2 seconds.
"Nothing crazy, don't worry, I can handle it", I assure him. "Just… being rude to me in our classes, insinuating that I slept with Joel and that CRU only let me in out of pity after that whole situation, banding along with my other classmates to keep me out of study groups because they all think I'm a slut… I could go on".
I let the air out from my lungs then in an annoyed sigh.
"That's horrible, why the hell is he treating you like that?", Cappie looks really upset. "I can see him doing that to me, but I thought he liked you".
"Yeah I thought we were in a good place too but he's really been an ass lately", I roll my eyes.
"Typical Chambers", Cap shakes his head in annoyance.
"Honestly the only thing that's saved my law school experience is Katherine showing up a few weeks ago", I say. "And once she finds out I'm pregnant she's probably just going to feel bad for me having to drop out. Also… did you know she's sleeping with Beaver?"
"Oh my god... I thought I saw her coming out of his room!", Cap gasps. "I didn't know if it was her or just some other tall blonde but I figured there was no way that it would be Katherine".
"Well…", I laugh. "It is. She lost her virginity and now is on some weird sex kick, and unfortunately I have to hear about it".
We both laugh then.
"She talked to me for ten minutes the other day about which flavoured condom she likes the best", I give Cappie a cringing look and he laughs, amused by this. "And then I had to hear a whole lecture about how the G spot isn't a myth".
Me and Cappie break out laughing then.
"Hey I get it, when you're a beginner it's like the only thing you can think about", Cap smirks. "If I remember correctly you weren't much different from her".
"What?", I cross my arms defensively. "Was not!"
"Uh… after our first time you wanted to do it every day at least once a day, usually more like two or three times. Even I could barely keep up with you Case", Cappie teases me with a grin.
"Well I was getting used to it!", I argue, crossing my arms at him playfully. "And yeah it was new… and exciting. And the first few times were kinda weird feeling and… hurt, so I searched it up online and it said to just keep doing it and it would get better".
"You searched it up online?", Cappie laughs, obviously amused by this.
"Well yeah! It's not like I was going to talk to anyone about it, me and Ash were close then but not like we are now", I laugh. "Or how we were I guess…"
"Wow… also you never told me that it hurt, you should've told me", He looks kinda surprised now, but he's still smirking.
"Well I didn't want to worry you or seem weird. I wanted to be like other girls, most of whom had shown up to college already having done it in high school. And I knew you were used to more experienced girls!", I put my hands in the air, explaining myself to him. "But then I searched it up and it's actually just really normal for that to happen for a girl's first time… but it got much better the more we did it".
"Okay good", Cappie grins then, matching my smirk as we smile at each other, his eyes staring into mine.
I feel my heart start to pound now as we talk about our past, talk about intimate moments in our relationship. It was dangerous territory to get into since we were sitting on his bed right now, his bed where so many instances of us making out or doing more much than that have occurred over the years.
I shouldn't even allow myself to be alone in a room with Cappie with the door closed, at this point it just seemed like a recipe for disaster. I really didn't seem to have much of a knack for any self control when it came to him.
"Um…", I let out breathily then, averting my eyes away from his gaze now, feeling awkward. I pick up the strip of photos again, trying to change the subject. "Did you want me to make a copy of these for you Cap? I'm gonna… I'm gonna start a box or something, or maybe a scrapbook, full of all the pictures and keepsakes for the baby so far. I know it's early and probably way too soon but..."
I trail off with a shrug.
"No, no", Cap says immediately, giving me a smile as he touches knee again softly, running his hand up and down it comfortingly. "I think it's a really great idea Case, a scrapbook would be awesome"
"Yeah I already thought about it and I was gonna start taking pictures of my belly every week, I think a lot of women do that so they can have something to look back on their pregnancy by. Even though… I'm not showing at all right now, but when I do I think it would be cool to watch my belly grow I guess… And I kept one of the pregnancy tests too, I thought maybe it would be a keepsake, I don't know maybe that's dumb but I think maybe other mothers do that".
"Cool yeah, I can take the photos of you", Cappie offers with a smile. "And that's not dumb. I think... I think we should keep anything that has to do with the baby".
"Okay", I nod, feeling that feeling in my stomach that I usually feel for him, like there's butterflies flying around. "I know that we're not like... one hundred percent excited about this and that it's a bit hard to be happy about considering that it was accident but... I don't want this pregnancy to be this big sad, negative thing".
I explain to Cappie, feeling vulnerable right now.
"I... I want to try and treat it like any other pregnancy, try to not be ashamed of it. I think I can find some way to... to keep my spirits up about this, to not treat the baby like an unplanned mistake, even though it sort of is. It wouldn't be fair to it to do that", I shrug then awkwardly.
I wish I knew the gender already, so we could stop referring to it as an it. Even though I knew it was way too early to know.
Cappie gives me a sweet smile then, his expression soft as he nods, biting his lip slightly.
"That's how I feel too Case. We can still... try to make the best of this and I think that as you get more...", He searches for the words then, letting out a bit of a laugh. "As you get more pregnant... I think we'll maybe be more and more okay with it, maybe even be happy".
"Yeah", I say meekly, blushing as I give him a smile, feeling kind of flustered by him right now. So much so that I feel the need to get back on track, or else I was just going to want to kiss him too badly. "Well um… why don't we fill out the rest of this paperwork Cap? Then it'll be done, and after that I have to go back to ZBZ and actually commit to some of my house mother duties or else Rebecca is gonna kill me".
"Well we definitely can't have that", Cap scoffs and then nods as I rifle through the papers to find the forms we have to fill out.
"Okay… so most of these are questions for me I think…", I look over the pages.
"How about I interview you and you answer me?", Cappie grins devilishly then, taking the papers from me and grabbing the pen I have laying on his bed.
"Alright", I giggle.
"Okay, first question here… at what age did you get your first period? Wow what a fun one", Cappie looks amused with this.
"Twelve", I laugh and watch him write the number down.
We hear a knock on the door then that takes our attention away from what we're doing.
"Cap! It's me", I hear a voice I knew well, my little brother's voice.
I was really happy Rusty was here actually. I'd been so out of it today, so in my head and so anxious that I'd forgotten to text him back. I really hadn't even looked at my phone much to even read his messages, but I assumed he was being sweet and messaging to wish me luck.
"Hey! Come in", Cap calls out and Rusty walks in, his eyes lighting up when he realizes I'm here too.
"Case! Hey, how's it going? You didn't answer any of my texts today", He looks at me, interested to see how it went at the doctor I think.
"I know, I'm sorry, I just had a lot on my mind Rus. But… it went okay… I'm definitely pregnant", I say with a scoff, holding up the strip of black and white ultrasound photos in the air for him to see.
Rusty's eyes go wide then as he walks over to where we're sitting on the bed to look at the pictures.
"Wow…", He shakes his head in disbelief. "So it's definitely real then?"
"Yep…", I sigh. "There's definitely a fetus inside me".
I look down to my completely flat belly.
"And you guys are still gonna keep it?", he confirms.
"That's the plan Spitter", Cappie nods.
"Wow this is insane! I promise I'll be the best uncle I can be guys", He takes the photos from my hand as I pass them to him so he can look over them.
"Thanks Rus, that means a lot", I give him a smile.
"So this is it? This tiny dot?", Rusty confirms with us as he points to what's the start of our baby.
"Yeah I know, it's pretty small still", I laugh. "But they circled it for us, that's it. We uh… we got to see its heartbeat flickering".
"Already? That's so cool", Rusty looks genuinely interested in this, surprised too, but a smile makes its way across his face nonetheless.
"Yeah I know right, I didn't even know if they'd be able to see it today but they did and then we got all this paperwork about how to have a healthy pregnancy and everything I should and shouldn't do…. it's feeling pretty surreal still", I take a deep breath in.
"Yeah you guys are probably pretty freaked out right now", Rusty nods.
"Yeah… definitely, but we've kind of decided to make the best of it, right Case?", Cappie looks to me.
"Yeah, I mean there's not much else I can do at this point. I want to keep it and I'm gonna have to just do everything I can to be the best mom possible… we've still got to figure a ton of stuff out though… like where I'm gonna live with the baby, how the hell we're gonna afford it, what I'm gonna do about law school, telling mom and dad", I groan at that last part.
"I can be there when you tell them if you want Casey… if that would make it easier", Rusty offers.
"Thanks", I give him a pucker of my lips, it never lost on me how sweet of a brother Rusty was. "That would actually help I think… since you may have to be there to keep them from killing me… or killing Cappie".
"Yeah I'm betting on the killing me option", Cappie gives us an awkward look. "I mean… your parents met me once on Rusty's freshman parents weekend… where they found out the only thing KT has in common with a service fraternity is the fact that we have a cookie jar to raise money for a new bong… since Beaver breaks ours every four to six weeks".
I can't help but scoff to myself then, rolling my eyes.
"Cap if you're gonna be a dad, you're gonna have to get rid of your bong collection, I don't want that stuff around our baby", I give him a look, crossing my arms.
"Don't worry, already did back in September", He smirks at me mischievously. "Didn't I Spitter?"
"Cap's right", Rusty nods and sits on the edge of the bed. "He gave them to Dumptruck".
"It was sad to part with such an…", Cappie searches for the right word as he jokes fake emotion. "Iconic part of my college days here but I guess it was time. Want some pizza Rus?"
Cappie opens the box so Rusty can grab a slice.
"Yeah I'm starving!", Rusty grins. "Thanks".
"Cap you realize you're also going to have to get rid of your playboys… your numb-chucks, your… adult video collection… your blow up doll…"
I start to list things off on my fingers.
"Not Lorraine!", Cappie gasps jokingly and I narrow my eyes at him, this whole thing obviously amusing him. He touches my arm then and looks to me a bit more seriously. "Don't worry, I'll give that stuff to Beaver, he'll be thrilled. Well... except for my homemade tapes… those I'll have to just burn. A brother should not watch another brother doing… that".
Cappie grimaces at the thought.
"Ew!", I laugh then, shaking my head. "Remind me again why I'm still happy you're the father of my baby?"
I joke around with him then.
"Because… you like me", He grins deviously and I just give him a purse of my lips, biting down on my lower lip as I try not to smile.
Actually, I think to myself, I love you. But that's besides the point.
It had always been like this with him. Ever since I met him. I had no idea why I was attracted to him like this, even that first night Evan was much more my usual type personality wise. But something about that first interaction with Cappie excited me. I think it's because he was so different than any guy I'd briefly dated in high school, different than the typical lacklustre conversations with boys I was used to. Even when I didn't want him to, even when I hated the fact that he did, he was the one that made me feel things.
So fine… I was in love with the poster boy for being a typical frat guy. And was now having a literal baby with him because of it.
But if it was any consolation, I could tell he was actually growing up. I started to see it in senior year, that he was changing his ways a bit. And I see it these past two months especially… after I'd come back here to CRU and told him the only way we could try again is if he changed.
"So you guys really aren't getting back together then?", Rusty takes me out of my thoughts as he looks back and forth to us between bites of his pizza. He raises his eyebrow at us, smirking, I know not fully believing that we'd ever truly be just friends.
Cappie looks to me then, his mouth open like he's gonna speak but I think he doesn't know what to say. He's been taking my cue on how I want to proceed with things now that I was pregnant.
"Not right now… things are just way too stressful at this point Rusty. Plus we have to focus on the baby", I assert, speaking seriously.
"But you're… you're not gonna date anyone else?", Rusty asks us, looking curious and also a little confused with our current relationship predicament.
"Uh…", I scoff then like he's crazy. "Yeah sure Rus, I'm just gonna go off and try and find a date while Cappie's baby sits in my uterus".
I speak sarcastically then, giving Rusty a look as I narrow my eyes.
How could he think I could even entertain the idea of dating anyone else? I hadn't even before I got pregnant and I certainly wasn't going to start now that I was.
"Sorry", Rusty laughs. "Damn, is this that like… hormonal pregnant woman thing starting already?"
"That's what I said", Cappie mutters with a laugh and I turn to give him a dirty look. "Sorry…"
He looks at me then with a smirk as he apologizes.
"And to answer your question on my end Spitter…", Cappie says. "There's no other girls for me either, not in the past two months and definitely not in the next…"
He thinks to himself then for a moment and then shrugs.
"Not in the next foreseeable future", he settles on with a nod and I can't help but smile to myself internally, even if I'm keeping it cool on the outside.
"Wow… so your Celibate Fall continues then", Rusty says jokingly, teasing Cap and then turning to me. "That's what the brothers have dubbed it, since it's the longest he's gone since we've all known him".
"Well Spitter… it's not exactly been two months without since three weeks ago I broke the streak and just didn't tell anyone", Cappie reminds Rusty about the night this baby was made, giving Rusty an awkward look.
"Oh right, true", Rusty nods, his face turning into a grossed out expression. "Anyways uh… I was gonna ask you guys, have you heard about Calvin's birthday party tomorrow night? You guys are both invited, it's at me and Dale's".
I look to Cappie then as we share an unsure look.
"I don't know Rus… a party… where I'm gonna have to explain why I can't drink…", I sigh. "And where Ashleigh is going to be… Not to mention I still feel pretty terrible and am beyond exhausted to the point where I have to nap like every day now".
Cappie scoffs at that.
"You should go if you want to though Cap", I give him a nod.
"Well I don't wanna go if you're not going", He shrugs.
"Why not?", I question. "It's not like… it's not like we're boyfriend and girlfriend, you don't have to feel guilty for going and leaving me at home".
"Yeah I know but…", Cappie seems to be unsure what to say, searching for the right words. "But I do feel guilty Case. Because basically you don't feel like you can go because you're pregnant and I'm partially to blame for the whole getting you pregnant thing".
Cappie explains and I roll my eyes at him.
"It's fine", I laugh with a shake of my head.
"I think you guys should try and go", Rusty practically whines. "Seriously, it'll be fun! No one will question why you aren't drinking Case, just say you're not feeling well".
Rusty shrugs like it's no big deal.
"I don't know if I can handle Ash hating me all night Rusty", I groan.
"I'll talk to her", Rusty assures me. "I really think you guys need to just patch things up. Honestly you guys both really need each other right now".
"Yeah", I look down with a frown. "You guys are great but… I really do miss having a girl in my life to talk to… since I can't tell Rebecca about the whole baby thing right now, or any of the other girls at the house for that matter".
"Hey I can talk about girl stuff if that's what you're yearning for", Cappie gives me a grin, joking around. "What is it you want to talk about? Periods? Painting your nails? Uncomfortable shoes? How much men suck? Or... what about the length of your cervix? That doctor seemed to really be into that topic today".
I can't help but giggle at him as I roll my eyes at him playfully.
"It's fine Cap, you don't have to talk about girl stuff with me", I shake my head as I smirk at him.
"So you'll think about coming over tomorrow night then?", Rusty probes us.
I look to Cappie who seems to be leaving it up to me. I know he's in, he'd pretty much never turn down a party.
"Okay…", I give in with a slight groan. "I'll think about it Rus. If I feel okay that day".
"Awesome", Rusty grins. "Hey what's all this?"
Rusty gestures to the stack of papers on the bed from the doctor.
"Pregnancy stuff Spitter", Cappie explains.
"Yeah it's from the doctor, some of it I have to fill out and take back my next appointment, it's just like medical information that they need", I explain. "The rest is just info about having a healthy pregnancy".
It still feels weird to talk about this, that this is actually my reality.
"Wow… you guys are really doing this then", Rusty stills looks bug eyed. "I mean I know you are it's just… still hard to believe it's real".
"Yeah tell me about it", I scoff. "But seeing the photos made it a little more real today".
Rusty looks at the photo strip again.
"Yeah", he nods with a slight smile. "Well I know it's not what you guys would've chosen but I'm really happy for you… if anyone in our group here at CRU should be having a baby it should be you guys".
"Why do you say that Spitter?", Cappie laughs a bit, genuinely curious I think.
"Because…", Rusty shrugs like it should be obvious. "You guys have known each other forever, you're comfortable with each other and basically have always remained a constant in each others lives… I mean haven't you always felt that you may have done this eventually... like down the road?"
Me and Cappie look to each other then, serious expressions taking over our faces.
"I mean… yeah I've thought about it", Cappie stammers out and I nod too.
Of course I'd thought about it.
"Not to mention you're basically the mom and dad of your houses", Rusty laughs. "I mean you've had to be parents to the guys here on more than one occasion Cap. You've had to really be there like a parent even for me sometimes".
Cappie nods then, smiling as he agrees.
"And Case you've kept everything together at ZBZ for the past two years, taken care of the pledges, made sure that nationals stayed off your guys' toes. And now you're literally the house mom", Rusty looks over to me as he explains. "What I'm saying is I think you guys will do great, it's totally something that's in your wheelhouse".
"I never really thought about things that way", I give Rusty a grateful smile. "Thanks Rus… that's really nice of you to say. Since… I'm petrified I'm gonna be terrible at this".
"You're not", Cappie and Rusty both say at the same time.
"Jinx", I look back at forth between them with a laugh, unable to hide my giddy smile, really just eternally grateful for the two of them. They were the only reason I was staying sane through the craziness of the past few days. "Thanks you guys".
"Yeah of course", Rusty nods and Cappie gives me a smile, looking at me so lovingly right now, his blue eyes scanning over me as he grins.
We hadn't kissed since that night three weeks ago but dammit sometimes it was hard to not want to just lean in and kiss him. Push him down on this bed like I had so many times before, feel his hands all over me, taste his lips.
At least Rusty was here right now. Because honestly if he wasn't I'm not sure that me and Cap would be keeping things so PG if we were all alone.
But I also knew that Rusty couldn't be here between us each and every time we were alone in one of our bedrooms. And that thought both scared me and excited me at the same time. Even though it really really shouldn't.
