"So… you're really not gonna tell me what he did?", Rusty looks over to me with a sigh.

We'd already walked halfway back to ZBZ in silence. I'd told Rusty that Cappie was busy and asked if he could walk me home instead.

"What?", I question.

"I know that Cappie's never too busy for you, he'd walk you home rain or shine, day or night Case", Rusty gives me an accusing look, letting me know he can see right through my lying.

"Okay fine…", I groan. "He didn't do anything. Tonight was just… difficult".

"Why?", Rusty asks.

"Because… because this Tri Pi knew about me being pregnant", I sigh. "Which means somehow it got out… and soon everyone will know".

"Okay and that's somehow Cappie's fault?", Rusty questions.

"No, it's not", I say frustratingly. "You wouldn't get it Rusty. Besides, he's your friend so I don't want to put you in the middle. He didn't… he didn't do anything wrong it's just… awkward".

"Okay…", Rusty shakes his head like he doesnt understand.

"He hooked up with that Tri Pi girl", I sigh, finally just getting out with it. "Along with some… other stuff in that... realm. But anyways, it's not important".

"Well it seems important if it's making you this mad at him that you're not gonna let him walk you home", Rusty gives me a knowing look.

"I just… you know Cappie well, you know how many girls have been in and out of his room over the years. And it's always just been something I've had to deal with", I sigh. "It's just… harder when you're pregnant and hormonal… and you feel like crap… and you know that pretty soon you're gonna be like a billion pounds".

"Casey…", Rusty can't help but laugh so I just glare at him. "Cappie wants to be with you, he always has. It doesn't matter about other girls he's been with… right?"

"I don't know", I shrug, sort of whining. "I guess you're right. I just… if he wants to be with me and this baby forever then… he's gonna have to give up hooking up with whoever he wants and what if that's too hard for him to do?"

"Well he did it last year for you", Rusty tells me. "I know he'd never cheat on you, not like Evan".

"I know", I nod, speaking softly as me and Rusty walk in silence for a bit, me just thinking.

I was probably being too hard on Cappie, I'm realizing that the more I think about what happened. But I didn't want to admit that to Rusty.

What I really wanted was to have Cappie come over to ZBZ and go to sleep with me. But I didn't really want to admit that I was wrong. And my worries about Cappie only being with me for the rest of his life were still there. I mean... how could a guy that hooked up with whomever he pleased the entire summer just suddenly settle down with me and a baby forever?

I'd put it out of my mind tonight at least, take the night to sleep on it.

"What's in the bag?", Rusty grabs my attention back to him and out of the thoughts in my head. He's gesturing to the shopping bag in my hand that was full of my new bras.

"Um… you probably don't want to know", I give him a look, pursing my lips.

"Ew… you guys went… lingerie shopping?", Rusty gives me a grossed out look.

"It wasn't like that at all!", I giggle, swatting at his arm. "It's… its because I'm pregnant, things don't… fit right anymore so I had to get some new… things. That's all I'm gonna say about it to my little brother!".

The two of us laugh awkwardly then.

"Well we're here", Rusty sighs as we reach the ZBZ driveway. "You sure you'll be okay all alone?"

"Yes Rusty", I roll my eyes at him playfully with a giggle. "Come here".

I pull him in for a hug, happy to have him here, really happy that we still go to the same school.

"Really I'll be okay, all I want to do right now is go find my Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream and put my pyjamas on", I laugh.

"Cravings?", Rusty's eyebrow raises as he laughs.

"Maybe", I shrug. "I can't really be sure since ice cream was kind of my number one craving even before I got pregnant. But… tonight I may even let myself eat the whole carton… because I can use the excuse that I'm eating for two now!"

"Okay Case", Rusty laughs. "Have a goodnight. And… promise me you won't shut Cappie out?"

"I promise Rus", I say immediately. "I would never shut him out, not now with the baby".

"Good", Rusty nods and starts to move down the street as we give each other one last wave, me walking up the driveway to the very familiar steps that always felt like home.


"Hello?", I let out meekly, starting to get a little scared.

I was now sitting on the couch with some of Ash's old magazines that she'd left here, along with my carton of ice cream and spoon in my hand. I was nice and comfy in my pyjamas now, about to go up to bed once I finished my ice cream.

But now there was a weird noise coming from outside, what sounded like an animal pawing at the window or something. Last year we'd had this raccoon lurking around the house at night that would just not go away. I was hoping it wasn't back.

I get up cautiously, ice cream still in hand, to go look out the window.

I hear more noises until finally I hear the buzzes of the numbers on the keypad on the door code and in comes Rebecca.

"Jesus!", Rebecca lets out with a gasp when she sees me standing right at the door. "Casey what the hell! You scared me half to death!"

"Sorry", I sigh in relief. "I thought you were a raccoon! Or a burglar!"

"Uh no, just me", Rebecca rolls her eyes. "I'm the one that should be surprised that you're here! What the hell are you doing here anyway? I thought you and Cappie were going to be in a love nest all weekend".

The way she says it with a smirk makes me give her a glare, knowing she's sort of mocking us in that Rebecca way that she does.

"Well for your information… no, I'm staying here", I shrug, avoiding her gaze and walking back to the couch with my ice cream.

"Mmm... trouble in paradise? You're in your pyjamas, and… not even your cute ones, you're eating ice cream straight out of the carton, and you look like you've been crying…", Rebecca observes as she follows me into the living room. "Yeah it doesn't really take Sherlock Holmes to figure this one out".

She rolls her eyes at me with a cross of her arms and I just glare at her, focusing back on flipping through my Elle magazine.

"Look, I'm only kidding", Rebecca says then, I think actually trying to be nice now. "Seriously…. What happened?"

She sits down on the couch across from me, her expression actually soft now, more serious. And I'm actually happy she's here, really happy. Because at the end of the day she was my friend.

But before I could even decide whether or not to talk to her about Cappie I had to get something off my chest.

"Okay but first… Rebecca be honest with me, did you tell any of the girls here about me being pregnant?", I give her a serious look. "Because somehow Betsy knows and before she left to go home she ended up spilling it to this Tri Pi named Jess, while she was drunk I'm guessing. And now a bunch of people know! Or at least some Tri Pis do!"

I let out a frustrated sigh.

"Whoa… really? You have that little faith in me? Casey I learned to lie before I even learned to read", She scoffs. "I'm not trying to point fingers but… your best friend isn't actually tight lipped about well… anything".

"Ashleigh?", I question, haven't having thought of that.

"Uh yeah", Rebecca says with a scoff like it's obvious. "Since she's been back here she's been going out to Doblers lots with Laura and Betsy… you know, since you barely go anymore because of the whole no drinking with your baby thing".

"You think she told them?", I'm surprised now.

"I don't think she meant to, but I wouldn't be surprised if it slipped out", Rebecca shrugs. "What I can tell you is that I swear it wasn't me".

"Okay…", I nod. "I believe you. Sorry I accused you first".

"It's fine", She groans. "I can see why you'd think I'd be happy to destroy your life but… I have better things to worry about like keeping this sorority on top".

I give her a look then, crossing my arms.

"Oh c'mon Becs. I know deep down you care about me", I give her a bit of a smile.

"Fine", Rebecca sighs. "How's… your baby? You kinda look like the poster child for pregnancy right now".

I can tell Rebecca is making fun of the fact that I'm sitting here in extra large cat print pyjama pants with a tub of ice cream, but I don't even really care.

"Whatever Rebecca. I'm relaxing, I'm comfy, and this ice cream is amazing", I moan and take another bite.

"That does look pretty good actually…", Rebecca looks over to eye my ice cream. "Mind if I grab a spoon?"

"Be my guest", I shrug.

I don't think either of us were going to acknowledge the fact that we were both happy the other was here. Somehow again, just like last year, we'd ended up here spending Thanksgiving weekend together. But it was better than spending it all alone, worrying about my relationship with Cappie and how the hell I was going to take care of a baby with him at 22 years old.

Rebecca comes back in with a spoon and then sits beside me as I position the ice cream in between us.

"So really… what happened with Cappie? I spent all day praying I wouldn't have to hear you guys… attempt to procreate again through the walls here tonight", Rebecca jokes. "But now that you're here all alone I actually feel pretty bad".

"Well I'm fine", I shrug. "He didn't really do anything, I'm just… taking the night to myself. What about you, did you have a good night?"

"Well…", Rebecca looks like she's thinking to herself and then she sighs. "It was okay I guess, no guys there were really up to my standards… even Beaver is a one woman kind of guy these days".

"Well… some of the KT's will surprise you by actually being able to commit", I comment, smiling slightly, knowing that people were wrong about Cappie. He could also be a one woman kind of guy if he wanted to be.

"Yeah anyway… it was kind of a bust. But better than being here all alone all night I guess", Rebecca concludes. "It gave me some time away from my project of the day".

Rebecca leans forward to grab a notebook off the coffee table, opens it up to flip through the pages and then shows it to me.

"Why Men Suck", I read out the pink gel pen written title and then laugh to myself. "Well… I can certainly get on board that train tonight. Are you… still thinking about Evan?"

"Unfortunately yes", Rebecca looks downcast. "Which I absolutely hate. And it's made even more difficult by the fact that I have nothing to distract me right now and I'm… alone. And I know that he's also alone on campus right now too which makes me actually feel kind of sorry for him, how stupid is that?!"

"It's not stupid Becs. That's just the human side of you actually coming out for a change", I give her a joking grin and she glares at me.

"Well… if you wanna put anything on the list, be my guest", Rebecca tells me.

"No…", I think about it for a second and then shrug. "I'm good for now. But I do really hope I have a girl… because guys do suck".

I put my hand on my belly and the two of us laugh.

"I'd much rather have a little me running around", I can't help but smile a bit at the thought of it. I really didn't have a bump yet but I was just starting to find myself thinking more and more about this baby, touching my belly and wondering what's going on with it in there.

"Well I think you're forgetting that it'll probably have some of Cappie's tendencies which means you'll most likely have the worst behaved toddler in the history of the terrible twos", Rebecca jokes. "That's what happens when you hookup with a rowdy frat guy though I guess".

"Yeah…", I think to myself and then look down and play with the bracelet on my wrist, not feeling super comfortable being vulnerable with Rebecca about my feelings for Cappie. "But I'm happy it's his Rebecca. It's actually what makes this whole being pregnant thing a lot more…"

I search for the word then.

"Emotional", I settle on as I end my thought with a sigh.

"Right… because you love him even if you don't know if he'll be able to step up and be a dad?", Rebecca asks.

"No I'm not really worried about that… I mean, a bit, I know it'll be hard for both of us. But I know he'll be there", I explain.

Rebecca takes her spoon to shovel some more ice cream into her mouth and then I do the same.

"So then what did Cappie do tonight?", Rebecca looks at me in confusion, both of us eating.

"I don't want to talk about it", I say with a shake of my head almost feeling like a little kid right now, refusing to tell people because I knew if I did they wouldn't understand and they'd definitely take Cappie's side. Because… Cappie didn't really do anything wrong. I was just upset and hormonal and… well, jealous.

"Did he call you another name during sex?", Rebecca hypothesizes.

"Ew no!", I give her a grossed out look.

"Oh okay… cause… been there done that…", Rebecca takes another bite, looking away awkwardly.

"What? Really?", I'm intrigued now.

"Yeah… he called me Casey once", Rebecca admits awkwardly.

"Oh…", I nod, the two of us just sitting here in silence for a bit as I let this sink in.

"Yeah pretty pathetic right? Him, not me. That he literally cannot get over you", Rebecca scoffs as she shakes her head.

"Crap… Rebecca I think… I think I just had my first glimpse at being a crazy hormonal pregnant girl", I whine and put my head in my hands.

"Oh c'mon", Rebecca rolls her eyes. "You're barely even pregnant!"

"I know but… I think I majorly overreacted tonight. I ruined everything", I moan out in frustration. "Maybe the hormones majorly clouded my judgement… or the stress. I just know that I'm making a huge mistake… pushing away someone that wants to be there for me and this baby".

"Uh not just someone, the baby's dad", Rebecca points out. "And… believe me Casey. He'll give you another chance, I'm sure you didn't completely ruin things".

"I did Rebecca… And now", I put my hand on my stomach. "I didn't just ruin things for me and him, I ruined things for it too. I suck at this mom thing already!"

I put my head in my hands.

"Okay usually I would join in on your self pity party but that's just not true Casey. You'll be a good mom, you already act like a soccer mom most of the time, so much so that it's kind of weird for a 22 year old girl", Rebecca scoffs, making fun of me like usual.

I look up from holding my head in my hands to glare at her.

"What?! You don't drink, you don't smoke, you don't do drugs. You sleep around less than any of us girls in the house. And usually your whole goody two shoes thing is kind of nauseating… but it's what Cappie seems to like about you I think. And it's what'll make you a good mom too", Rebecca explains. "Besides… if you were really going to be a bad mom you wouldn't worry about being a bad mom. Take it from someone who's had a pretty absent mother who never really thought about anyone else but herself".

"I'm sorry Becs", I frown. "But thank you, that actually made me feel a lot better… and the fact that you actually mean it means a lot. Hey… maybe this'll be our Thanksgiving tradition now! Two years strong of spending it together".

"Ugh god! If you and me are still in this house next year spending it together kill me", Rebecca throws her head back with a moan.

"Well…", I run my hand along my stomach. "It definitely won't be just you and me…"

"Oh true, almost forgot about the spawn growing in you… wonder if it'll come out as scruffy as Cappie", Rebecca jokes. "Hopefully it won't be as big as him at least… babies can tear coming out you know".

I give her a raise of my eyebrows, glaring slightly at the way she's smiling over this, taking pleasure in taunting me like she usually does.

"He says he wants it to look like me… he thinks it's a girl", I shrug.

"Well I hope for your sake it is. I wouldn't want to be carrying a KT legacy, those guys will probably like… throw it off the roof or something", Rebecca jokes.

"Crap, you're probably right", I nod and the two of us can't help but giggle.

"I miss him", I sigh, speaking after a period of silence between us.

"Yeah weren't you supposed to spend this entire weekend with him?", Rebecca confirms.

"Yeah… it's kind of all part of my enormous overreaction… I wigged out, got scared and then came back here", I explain.

"You're still not gonna say why?", Rebecca gives me a look now, looking like she's not going to take no for an answer.

I have to give it to her, she's actually been a pretty good friend tonight. And not just tonight, in the past few months in general she's been much nicer to me. So… I'll give in. Especially since Ashleigh isn't here.

"There was this girl at the KT's party tonight… and I found out he had a threesome with her and her sorority sister", I groan.

"Tri Pis?", Rebecca guesses immediately, looking pretty confident in her prediction.

"Yep, you called it", I sigh.

"Oh c'mon Casey. That's it? If you're gonna get mad everytime you come in contact with a girl Cappie has screwed then…", Rebecca laughs but then trails off when she sees my face.

I give her a look.

"Then… I shouldn't be sitting beside you?", I laugh slightly and we give each other awkward looks.

"No, I was going to say that… yeah he's been with a lot of girls but… he can't really go back and change that now. At least he's never cheated on you and honestly never would I don't think", Rebecca is speaking seriously now.

"Yeah I know", I smile for a moment and then rest my fingers against my temple. "I'm an idiot".

"No, you're just jealous… and then add on the extra hormonal pregnant girl layer and… you act crazy", Rebecca sniggers.

"Fine… I'm jealous… and kind of insecure right now I guess", I admit with a grown.

"Why? He's basically obsessed with you", Rebecca shakes her head in confusion.

"Yeah but… if me and him and this baby are forever now, which is what he's kind of implying by saying he wants to get back together and raise the baby together… then… will he actually settle down? What happens when he gets bored of like… normal sex with me?", I shrug, looking down awkwardly.

"Casey", Rebecca drags my name out, giving me a look, pursing her lips and furrowing her brow. Her look alone is telling me that she feels bad for me, but also that she thinks I'm being crazy.

So I feel the need to explain myself further, explain exactly why I'm worried.

"And I'm only going to grow fatter… and be busy with this baby… and I mean, he's at fault for the baby too so it's not like he shouldn't have to bare the responsibility just like me but we all know the mother has to do a bunch of the heavy lifting in the beginning like breastfeeding and recovering my body… How is he not going to get bored of that when there's girls that would jump in his bed in a heartbeat with him?", I argue.

"This kinda sounds like something you need to talk to him about Casey. But for the record I don't see that happening, him getting bored or whatever", Rebecca shrugs nonchalantly.

"Yeah?", I furrow my brow, kind of confused at her pure confidence in me and Cappie.

"Yeah, it's been like… 4 and a half years now and he still only wants you. And lord knows he's messed around enough by now. I think he's actually serious this time about changing, if not for you then for the baby… because I can tell he's actually into this whole baby thing. Which honestly says a lot since if his offspring was growing in any other girl he'd probably be doing his best to run for the hills. But he wants this with you", Rebecca says and then pauses before speaking again. "If he's telling you he wants a life with you then maybe you should just believe him Casey".

"Okay", I can't help but smile a bit at her explanation.

"Is this all because you have trust issues from what Evan did still? Because I'll gladly put that on my list too", Rebecca whips out her notebook and writes down 'Cheaters' in big letters.

"No", I laugh. "Not that Evan wasn't sometimes an ass and a pretty crappy boyfriend to me… but this actually has nothing to do with Evan cheating. I know Cappie won't cheat on me, I'm just scared… that all of this will be too much for him".

"Well you'll never know until you try", Rebecca shrugs. "It's been a couple weeks now and he's been around for you every single day".

"Yeah I know", I nod. "He's um… he's been reading a baby book".

"What?", Rebecca starts to laugh in surprise.

"I know right", I giggle.

"I can barely even imagine that", Rebecca scoffs. "But… See? Who else would he do that for?"

"I have to apologize to him, don't I? Have to like… make a grand gesture or something?", I suddenly feel like I have complete clarity on this. I really had to make things right with him.

"Well... lingerie usually works for him", Rebecca notes. "Especially if you show up wearing it underneath a coat or something".

I cross my arms and give her a bit of a snide look.

"Right sorry… I'm talking about your baby daddy and guy you love", Rebecca grins, knowing she's annoying me with this.

"Yeah, kinda awkward", I nod.

"Hey… you didn't deny it", Rebecca smirks.

"What?", I shake my head.

"You didn't deny that you love him".

"Well… I do", I sigh. "Whether it's a good thing or not".

"Well I'd venture to say it's a good thing since you guys made a kid together that you're gonna have to raise for eighteen years", Rebecca scoffs.

"Making", I correct her with a laugh, and then point down to my stoamch. "It's still in progess"

"Right, you're currently making it with the help of Cherry Garcia ice cream", Rebecca jokes.

"Exactly", I laugh. "Ugh, I guess I should go to bed so I can wake up early and go over there to make things right".

"You're not gonna call him right now?", Rebecca questions.

"No I feel like… I feel like I'm way too tired to have a conversation about it right now", I yawn. "I had a super long day and basically get tired from doing anything nowadays… I hope the second trimester I get some more energy".

"Yeah me too since you're seriously slacking on cleaning up around here", Rebecca mumbles with a glare.

"Hey! I'm going through a life crisis here!", I give her a playful roll of my eyes and then get up off the couch. "Anyway, Goodnight Becs!"

"You don't want to sleep in the same room like last year?"

"And hear your weird rain machine thingy again? Yeah no thanks", I laugh.

"Oh whatever! Your snoring was like a million times worse! Honestly, hang on to Cappie because he may be the only guy you ever find that can sleep through that", Rebecca snides.

"Rebecca!", I huff as I put my hands on my hips.

"It's probably only going to get worse now that you're pregnant too… you may need to get him ear plugs", Rebecca's eyes widen as she continues to taunt me.

"Don't make me regret sharing my ice cream with you!", I hold my spoon up jokingly, giving her a joking glare and then turning on my heel to go to the kitchen as I can't help but laugh.

Somehow Rebecca had actually been just who I needed to talk to tonight.

As I start to walk away I hear her voice behind me.

"Casey?"

"Yeah?", I turn around.

"For the record… next year you won't be here spending Thanksgiving here with me. You'll be somewhere spending it with Cappie and your baby", Rebecca gives me a small smile.

"Thanks", I blush.

"I'll be the one that'll really be here completely and entirely alone", Rebecca sighs, looking down into her lap.

"Well, for the record Becs… I don't think you will be. I have a suspicion that you may not have seen the last of Evan…", I give her a slight smile.

"What? That jackass?"

"I know, I know, but we both know he has a way of worming his way back in. I'm sure that he's as miserable and lonely as you are right now. I can assure you that he knows he messed up with you, his ego is just too big to admit it", I scoff as I shake my head. I wasn't the biggest Evan fan either right now but I had seen good sides to him over the years. Good sides that were brought out a lot more when he was dating Rebecca.

"Well… whatever the reason, I'm not going to him", Rebecca sighs and puts her feet up on the coffee table. "He can come to me".

"Exactly", I nod as I give her a grin, supportive of her in this.

"Night", smiles.

"Night".

I leave my ice cream bowl in the sink and then go on upstairs to get ready for bed. It was actually really nice to have an empty bathroom all to myself for once. Usually it was complete chaos in here… waxing, showering, yelling, flat irons, curlers, shower caddies… Sorority girls had to do a lot of stuff to maintain their appearances.

Once I brush my teeth and fix my hair up into a ponytail I'm finally ready to turn in, say goodbye to this crazy day. Tomorrow I would have to make things right with Cappie, not to mention probably deal with everyone finding out I'm pregnant, so I wanted to get a good nights sleep.

I had already changed into my pyjamas when I got home, just some loose pajama pants, pink with little kittens on them and a pink ZBZ tank I now wore as a pyjama top

I get in on my side of the bed, leaving some of my stuffed animals on the side that had now come to be known as the side Cappie slept on, the one closest to the window. Then I turn off my lamp so I'm left in the darkness.

Tomorrow I would apologize to Cappie, actually be honest with him about why I reacted the way that I did. Rebecca was right, he can't change the fact that he was sort of the resident guy to hookup with around here over the past few years. Sure… he had a reputation for frequenting strip clubs, never committing to a serious relationship, engaging in casual sex with girls he probably didn't know the last names of… not to mention the drinking, the weed, the smoking… But that was him then, he's not like that anymore and he's proven that to me time and time again.

I knew some people would think I'm insane to think that I can change him and that a guy like him would actually settle down with me and a baby. But Rebecca didn't think it was crazy. And neither did I. Because both of us knew the real Cappie.

I put my hand on my belly in the darkness then, wondering about this little person that's going to be growing inside. Well… already growing, but they're barely even a person yet.

"Don't worry", I speak softly. "I'm gonna work things out with your dad okay? He really cares about you and… so do I".

I may look really stupid doing this, whispering to my belly that was barely a bump at all yet. To a baby that really just resembled a large tadpole… But I didn't really care. It made me feel better, made me feel closer to it, and made me somehow hope that it could hear me and know that I was going to try my best to make sure I did this whole mom thing right. Or as right as I possibly can at least.


I wake up with a sick feeling and wetness between my legs.

It takes me a second to register what's going on as I let out a couple moaning sounds.

Why did it feel like I peed myself? Crap… had I peed myself? I've never done that before but the past few weeks I've had to pee so much more than usual.

I lean over to turn on my lamp and then take the covers off me, looking down at my pants.

What I find is much worse than if I merely peed myself. No, this is red. Red blood.

Immediately I feel myself go into a panic, a gasp in my throat as I quickly wake up, adrenaline coursing through me now and making me fully awake.

I look over at my clock. 2:48am. Then I sit up more in my bed, looking at my pants to try to assess how much blood there was.

This could really be it… after everything I could be losing the baby.

I can't help the way my cheeks got hot, the way I instantly let out a curdled sob, tears springing to my eyes quickly.

I knew Rebecca was probably asleep, not that I really wanted to wake her with this anyways. No, I knew who the person I needed to call was. Even if he might be kind of mad at me right now. This trumped anything we were going through in our relationship.

I click his contact name quickly and put my phone up to my ear, just praying he would pick up.

"Hello? Case?", I hear his voice and it's like my whole body finds relief in it.

I let out a sigh then, happy he answered.

He honestly had answered really quickly, and hadn't seemed like he was asleep, his voice was awake and not super raspy as if he'd been sleeping.

"Cappie…", I say and then start to cry.

"Casey oh my god, what's wrong?", He instantly sounds worried. "Are you okay? Is this about earlier tonight? Becau-"

"No it's not", I cut him off. "Cappie I'm bleeding".

There's a short pause on his end now as I assume he's taking this in.

"Okay um… crap… Is it a lot?"

"I don't know…", I say as I cry more. "I don't know what's a lot or what's okay when you're pregnant!"

"Okay well… I'm coming over okay? Just hang tight", He assures me, speaking as seriously as ever.

"Okay. Thanks", I nod up and down. "Wait! Cappie?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really sorry about tonight", I say. "I overreacted and I realize that now and-"

"Case don't worry, it's not important now okay? Just try not to worry too much. I'll be over in a second, we can go to the hospital if we need to", He says and I can hear bustling in the background, him getting ready to get in his car and come over here I'm sure.

"Okay", I let out meekly. "Thank you".

"Okay see you soon", He says softly and then hangs up.

I get up out of my bed then, wiping my tears, trying to get myself together, trying to not freak out too much.

Maybe this was just a false alarm? Spotting happened in pregnancy… granted, there was usually a reason.

Beaver had elbowed me in my stomach earlier tonight but I can't believe that would actually do this. Right?

I push away the thoughts swirling around in my head and instead get my pants off. They're not drenched in blood or anything. They really just looked like if I had gotten my period in the night, if I had a light flow at the beginning or end of my period.

And there was barely any blood that had actually gone through to my sheets, it had barely even left a stain or anything.

So maybe it wasn't enough blood to actually be losing a 9 week pregnancy.

I throw my pyjama pants in my hamper, I'd get to washing them later or I'd just throw them out, and then I grab a pair of sweatpants and some new underwear.

Once they're on, I go into the bathroom to get a panty liner, something I haven't really thought about using for awhile since I haven't had my period and haven't planned on getting it for like… 7 more months. But now all of that, all those plans, could not even exist anymore.

If I wasn't pregnant anymore I suppose it's probably a good thing I didn't drop out of law school… And if I wasn't pregnant anymore I wouldn't even have to tell my parents that anything happened, that I was ever even unexpectedly pregnant. And if I wasn't pregnant anymore then me and Cappie could… go back to the way things were I suppose. We wouldn't have this tying us together anymore.

I slump down on the edge of my bed thinking about that, about not having this baby with him anymore. Not only that, but not having it as this catalyst for us to talk everyday, for him to sleep in my bed here with me, for me to spend time at KT again, for us to spend the whole day together yesterday. For us to have a future together. Because the truth was whether we were in a relationship or not the thought of him always being in my future because of this baby we share was something that made me feel at ease.

I start to cry again then, thinking about all of this. Of course, a lot of it is because this baby, this thing that I've now seen grow over the past few weeks and heard evidence of, and grown more and more feelings for, might be gone now. Gone as quick as I had found out about it. But then there's that other part of things, that fact that I'd started to believe in it again, in that fairytale ending between me and Cappie being possible. That we'd ride off into the sunset with our baby and be a family. I knew it was probably too good to be true.

"What the hell is going on?", A voice startles me so much that I practically jump.

"Oh god! Rebecca! You scared me", I look up, wiping the tears off my wet cheeks, not wanting to cry in front of her.

"Why are you crying? And why's your light on?", Rebecca ignores me and instead just looks curious, and a little worried.

"I don't know Becs. I just woke up and realized I was bleeding a bit and… and now I don't know what's going on with the baby", I let out, speaking quickly as my body wracks with a sob again. "Cappie's coming over".

"Oh okay well that's good", Rebecca nods, moving into my doorway closer to me. "I'm… I'm sorry Casey. I know this is probably really scary".

"Yeah", I nod up and down, seeing how Rebecca is actually trying to be supportive, a swift departure from how she usually likes to taunt and tease me.

"I'll go unlock the door downstairs so Cappie can come in", Rebecca thinks to herself with a nod.

"Oh thanks, I hadn't even thought about that", I shake my head at myself. "My thoughts are just running wild in my head and-"

"Don't worry about it Casey, it's gonna be okay", She gives me a small smile and goes to make her way downstairs.

I sit alone for a few moments, opening up my bedside table drawer to look at where I was keeping all the baby's stuff for now. One of the positive pregnancy tests I had kept, the two ultrasound visit photo strips, a singular teeny tiny CRU onesie I had let myself buy at the campus store.

Just looking at them was making more tears spring to my eyes. I guess if this baby is really gone I'll have lots more years to have another chance, another chance when I'm older and actually ready. But there was such a big part of me now that really wanted this, that was happy it was with Cappie right now, that felt like even though we had nothing figured out it was somehow supposed to happen this way.

"Case!", I look up from going through my drawer to see Cappie standing in my doorway worriedly, looking a little out of breath. I'm guessing he'd run up here, and had probably really bolted over here from the KT house.

"Cappie was pulling up when I went down there", Rebecca explains, standing beside him.

"Hey", I look over to Cappie, croaking out the word. I can see his face fall as he gets closer to me and realizes how much I've been crying.

"Aw Case", His blue eyes look sad as he immediately comes over to me, pulling me into a hug as he sits on the side of my bed with me. "It's gonna be okay".

"But it might not be Cap!", I let out. "It might not! I might be losing the baby. I knew this would happen!"

"Why did you know this would happen?", Cappie looks confused when I look at him as we part from embracing.

"Because!", I sob. "Because I wished it! Early on when I first found out… I didn't want to get an abortion but I kind of thought it would just be easiest if nature took it's own course and the pregnancy just ended on its own before it barely started. That way me and you… wouldn't have to change our lives".

I can't help but sob more now.

"So it's my fault! The baby knew I didn't want it, I'm sure they can sense those things, and maybe since I was so upset about it at first my body just… took matters into its own hands. I don't know!", I throw my hands up into the air, upset with myself and this whole situation right now.

"I promise you Casey, it's not your fault. Ever since you found out all you've ever done is right by this baby. You take the prenatals every day… I can see the way you care about it, you've read up on pregnancy, you eat well for it, you put it first. I know you care about it", Cappie assures me.

"But maybe it's too late, I started caring too late", I shake my head.

"Case… we don't even know if you lost it yet", Cappie says seriously, making sure to meet my eyes. "Where's the blood?"

"It's on my pyjama pants, I put them in the hamper", I explain. "They weren't like completely drenched in blood. And my bed is pretty much fine".

"That doesn't sound like a lot of blood then", Rebecca pipes up. "I'm gonna get my laptop, search it up".

"Okay thanks", I nod, giving her a soft smile, not even really able to believe how nice she was being to me right now.

Cappie runs his hand up and down my back to try to comfort me.

"We should see your doctor and make sure everything is okay… that would make you feel better", Cappie tells me.

"Well yeah but… it's Thanksgiving Sunday Cap!", I groan. "They won't be open".

"Okay then I think me and you should go to the ER", Cappie says. "They can do an ultrasound there, make sure everythings okay".

"Yeah you're right, I definitely don't want to wait until Monday or Tuesday", I nod. "I'll go crazy with wondering".

"Yeah not to mention it's not safe… if you're going through a miscarriage we have to make sure you're okay", He nods, looking serious. I can't help the way my heart flutters even in the state I'm in right now at the way he's so adamant about that, about making sure I'm okay.

"Guys!", Rebecca interrupts the two of us and we look up, looking over to her holding her laptop. "So it says only to worry if it's as heavy as your regular period would be. Anything else is probably just spotting and is normal, especially after certain things like physical activity, a pelvic exam or sexual intercourse. Wait… ew! This isn't because you guys had sex is it?"

Rebecca gives us both a look of disgust.

"No Rebecca", I groan.

I mean we did the night before this one, but that was over 24 hours ago.

"Okay thank god, that would be super awkward… It says here that spotting before 12 weeks can be completely normal due to your hormonal changes or because of something called implantation bleeding", She reads off her laptop. "But it says if you're soaking through pads or you're having a lot of pain you should one hundred percent go to the hospital".

"Well I'm not having pain", I shrug. "I'm not even cramping. I just feel kind of nauseas, but I often do lately because of the baby".

"Well hey, that's a good sign", Cappie gives me a smile which I nod in return, wondering if maybe there is still some hope here.

"Either way it says online that if you have any abnormal bleeding that isn't following something where you know it was the cause… you should follow up with your doctor ASAP about it", Rebecca tells us.

"Well… I can't see my doctor probably until Tuesday… because most people don't work Monday either", I groan. "Cap… I don't think I'm going to have peace of mind until I get an ultrasound and know whether or not the baby is okay".

I look over to him, giving him a sigh, my eyes wide.

"Yeah for sure, I get that, I feel the same way. It would suck to have to wait for two days just wondering. So why don't we go to the hospital?", He suggests.

"You guys are gonna go tonight?", Rebecca asks.

"Yeah I think I should", I nod. "I'm not gonna get any sleep with how much I'm worrying anyways".

"You're gonna leave me all alone in the house?", Rebecca whines, her brow furrowed as she looks at me scared.

"Well there's nothing I can really do Becs", I frown. "We have to make sure our baby is okay".

"Okay fine", Rebecca sighs.

"You could also go back over to the KT house and sleep in my room if you're really scared", Cappie shrugs.

"Yeah no thanks", Rebecca turns her nose up. "I'll just take my chances of getting killed by an axe killer, at least theres no smelly guys here".

"Okay well I'm pretty much dressed", I stand up now.

"You should just grab a jacket Case, it's kinda cold out", Cappie reminds me and I nod, going to my closet to get out a black jacket to put over my flared sweatpants and tank top.

Then I throw on some slip on running shoes quickly and grab my purse to sling it over my shoulder.

"Okay well… ", I sigh. "I'm good to go".

"Great. Don't worry Case, I bet this is just a false alarm", Cappie looks at me with a shrug, trying to look like he's just waving it off but I can see the fear in his face too.

"Well good luck guys. Casey text me what happens, don't worry what time of day it is", Rebecca instructs me and then pulls me in for a quick hug.

"Thanks Rebecca", I look back at her as I pucker out my lip, actually really thankful for her being here tonight. "Thanks for everything".

"Yeah… I hope your baby's okay", She nods as me and Cappie start to make our way down the hall, Cappie grabbing my purse from me to carry instead without me even really noticing.

"Thanks Becs. Me too", I nod, trying to hold myself together, trying not to cry again.

Because I really didn't want that drawer to be all I had left of it… I had planned to make a scrapbook, planned to take a picture of my bump every week and watch me and it grow. I'd planned to find out if it was a boy or a girl, planned to start picking out names for it with Cappie.

I didn't want that drawer to be all I had left of this pregnancy because it turned out… I wanted this way more than I ever could've thought.


Author's Note:

Sorry to leave this chapter on a cliffhanger but I will update soon! Alsoooo I love writing for Casey and Rebecca, their relationship is one of my favorites so I hope you guys liked that part.

Thank you to anyone who reads and reviews!!