Article from the Mostly Magical, issue no. 1828, dated 17th October 1987.*

"HOGGY'S NEVER ENDING HONEY POPSICLE IS NO MORE"

In a move so shocking and so dreadful that even we, at Mostly Magical shiver, renowned Diagon Alley Bakery Hoggy's Hopeless Honeys, has stopped selling it's famed Never Ending Honey Popsicle. The owner Hogmer Homer, known popularly as Hoggy The Hopeless, made the announcement publicly by burning the shop and shouting at the frazzled street walkers that he will never sell popsicles again.

The aforementioned popsicle, an item that has made waves in recent years and something that was ever present in every child's hand, has been the centerpiece of Hoggy's Hopeless Honeys since their Start. With wizards, muggleborns, and half-bloods flocking in from France, Rome, and Tuvalu, the promise of a sweet that was never ending, was as sweet as it got. It turns out however, it was also a double edged promise, no one wanted to buy anything else.

"I think Hoggy sold cakes and pastries and Honey combs at his shop, but I don't remember much." Says sixteen year old Missie Millipine, sucking a still fresh popsicle that she claims has been here since last year. "Honestly, I kind of forgot he sold other stuff."

Reports from other sources indicate that the Honey popsicle had effectively ended the Sweets Industry. With a forever food at their hands, no one had the time or tongue for other sweets.

"Thank Merlin this happened. I was on the verge of closing!" Says Gregory Goldstop of Greg's Glorious Goodies, a competitor to Hoggy's. "Now, my Mysteriously Mysterious Marbles will sell much better."

Similar words are reflected across all other Sweet Businesses.

The Mostly Magical Reporters, sent to get information directly from the Hopeless Man himself, have sent back the following.

"No More Popsicles. Not two, not one, nothing. That'll teach them to ignore my Never Fattening Milk Balls. I thought I was doing a good thing you know, popsicles, people would buy them at large, but they turned into nasty zombies is what happened. No one has entered my shop in months, all because the Popsicles haven't run out." Says Hoggy, in a tone very reminiscent of man at his wit's end.

Hoggy has made clear that he intends to agressively advertise his full line of Magical Sweets to the public, though the question of how he will do that after his shop was burned down remains unanswered.

Not all hope is lost, however, as independent Sweet Activists have already formed groups and coalitions to find the secret recipe to the Popsicle.

"It's our right to suck, he can't take that away from us." Says 22 year old Reggy Goldix, sucking on his posicle that has been with him since he was 15, making it the longest popsicle suck in existence.

"It's very soon, I say, very soon, in fact I am pretty sure the saliva of a dementor is the secret ingredient." Says Carmichael Michaels, currently in preparation to get incarcerated in Azkaban to get the secret ingredient.

Despite the public outcry, Hoggy remains steadfast in his decision, stating that the Never-Ending Honey Popsickle will not return. Instead, he hopes that this move will help restore balance to the town's once-thriving sweets scene.

For now, it seems that the Wizarding World will have to adapt to a post-popsickle world. We'll have to hope that our population can survive these turbulent times, and the New lines of Hoggy's sweets can usher in a second wave of sticky fingers and drooling mouths. But one thing's for sure: dessert has never been more dramatic.