Music: Fukai mori, Meimyaku, Kuon, Homonculus et Dante (FMA OST2), Besturi (FMA OST1)
Summary: Two months. That's how long it's been since that dreadful night when Central's military headquarters collapsed, taking Roy and Alphonse with it after they rushed headlong to rescue Edward, who had been kidnapped by the homunculi. Since that terrible day, Riza hasn't seen any of them. They are said to be missing; even presumed dead. But Riza is convinced otherwise: she's certain she saw the boy amidst that desolate landscape. Edward is very much alive… and still in the hands of the enemy. To save him, and hopefully find the two missing men, Riza will have to roll up her sleeves and follow the breadcrumbs the alchemist has left in his wake. But it won't be easy: in the shadows, dark forces are at work and won't allow the young woman to snatch the key piece of their plan from them…
Note: And here we go with Chapter1!
Chapter 1: Opening
In front of me, everything is white.
I wanna scream, but I'm no longer able to.
So…
Please. Let me die too.
In front of him, everything was black.
He wanted to scream. But he couldn't. His voice was muffled by the darkness that poured, damp and thick, into his dry and tight throat. He wandered aimlessly, with no one by his side, in the distressing void that surrounded him.
Where did he come from? Where was he going? Was there even a place to go?
He felt like he was floating, deprived of gravity and reference points, in the middle of a world where he felt he no longer belonged. Deep inside, though, a small voice whispered to him that he was wrong: behind the curtain of shadows preventing him from understanding this strange world, there were probably colors… and perhaps hope. But no matter how hard he struggled with this opaque veil, he was unable to create even the smallest breach in it.
Unable to distinguish a hint of life on the other side of this thick dark mantle. Nothing worked; not even the sudden light that burst before his squinting eyes and that twisted fervently to push back the stubborn darkness biting at its rays.
He opened his eyes, almost immediately meeting those of a figure leaning over him. It was so close that he felt like he was breathing only the carbon dioxide emanating from it. The figure, haloed by a slim crescent moon's glow that had slipped through the partially drawn curtains of the room, inquired:
"Finally awake?"
That voice with a mocking but cheerful accent… That so particular voice… It had been accompanying him for two months already. But, for some reason beyond his understanding, Pride suddenly felt a curious sense that he'd known it for much longer than that; just like its owner, who moved slightly away from him. Immediately, the pale glow of the celestial body caressed the teenager's expressionless face.
"Expressionless" was an understatement: after a quick blink to get used to the light that'd whipped his eyes, the boy displayed a remarkably detached look, even as he realized he didn't know where he was. Normally, he should have been surprised to wake up in this unknown room, or worse, to not know how he ended up there – as anyone would have… But no. Like many other feelings, surprise was foreign to him. So, Pride merely cast an indifferent glance around the old and tiny room, crowded with outdated furniture whose antiquity added nothing to their value. Given the state of their wood, gnawed by mites, and their rough craftsmanship, they likely belonged to modest, if not needy, people.
"People"? Yes, likely "people" he didn't know either. The blond was becoming all too familiar with his comrade's annoying habit of taking or using other people's belongings – without an ounce of shame, no less. It seemed highly probable that this same comrade had illegally entered the apartment… which showed no signs of being abandoned. Far from it: the room was comfortably heated by a rusty stove placed in one corner which, despite its apparent dilapidation, seemed rather clean and well maintained. In other words, its occupants had probably been evicted. Well, "evicted" was… Again, an understatement. The teenager knew perfectly well what had happened to them, but he didn't care much.
He was used to it, after all.
"Hey, I'm talking to you, half-pint!" The androgynous figure, who was in fact his chaperone, jeered again.
Pride turned his head just in time to avoid the slap aimed at the top of his head. He scrutinized the now annoyed expression of his interlocutor.
Envy.
A real weathervane: he was so temperamental that he could change moods in a split second without showing the slightest warning sign.
That was the case now.
Pride played it safe and decided to respond to avoid aggravating his elder, even though he would have preferred to continue walling himself in that comfortable silence he was so accustomed to.
"Where are we?" He simply asked while sliding his legs over the edge of the double bed where Envy had laid him.
Without waiting for an answer to his question, which he didn't really care about in the end, he agilely jumped to his feet and faced the window. It overlooked buildings with facades smeared in grime, thick and gray from all the misery they harbored. He slowly pulled the curtains aside to have a better view. Behind him, he heard the covers rustle; Envy was getting comfortable on the bed. Once lying down, the sin satisfied pride's curiosity:
"In the red-light district of Central. I had to find a place to put you while you regained consciousness after you ran off. You know how fucking annoying it is when you do that, right?" He drummed his fingers nervously on the sheets, which rustled under the repeated assault of his nails. "As if I didn't have enough work as it is!"
Envy let out an exasperated sigh, and then reminded him in an exceedingly acidic tone:
"I don't know if your little birdbrain remembers, but you're not supposed to be wandering around as you please, taking advantage of a moment of my inattention. And you're not supposed to be seen either! So, can you explain why you ran off when I expressly told you to stay put in the office until I got back?"
Upon hearing this sudden flood of accusations, Pride finally deigned to turn towards his older brother. Despite the darkness that consumed his face as he turned away from the moonlight, Envy could discern, for once, a look of surprise. Alas, this innocent look only served to aggravate him to the highest degree; something the young homunculus could easily guess upon seeing the polymorph's right eye suddenly turn black. A bad omen for more than one reason: for Envy to get that angry, it meant something, though no one knew what, was enraging him profoundly, and not just a simple daze that he believed to be feigned.
"What?" The sin spat. "Don't play dumb with me, or it'll end badly."
"I don't know… what you're talking about." The blond replied cautiously, forcing himself to string together more than three words.
Best to be honest, because it was true. He had no memory of any order from Envy, or any office. Well, the "office"… Right, that rang some bell. His elder was certainly referring to the Führer's new quarters, now occupied part-time. Envy had been tasked by their father to replace Wrath as the head of state until he was back on his feet. After an incident in their hideout two months ago – about which Pride had only been superficially informed – the military HQ had been partially destroyed. As a result, their brother was now gravely injured, bedridden, and thus incapable of performing his duties.
Pride had been surprised to learn that, unlike the other members of their family and himself, Wrath did not possess a regenerative power. The man was treated by a top-notch medical team working for them in the shadows, but his recovery dragged on. Since it was impossible to show any weakness in this figurehead of Amestrian power, this hero who had won so many battles and was at the head of a prosperous country, no information had been released regarding the real reason for his absence.
Unfortunately, this absence and prolonged silence quickly became a source of trouble, as rumors – fueled by a foolish commission that had tried to preside during the power vacuum – and which, strangely, had not been heard from since – had begun to circulate. The substance of these rumors varied depending on the people and the days, but one constant had emerged: all agreed that King Bradley was actually missing and presumably dead in the collapse that took his office and the east wing of the military HQ.
In order to short-circuit this rumor and, more importantly, to prevent it from growing and giving belligerent ideas to neighboring countries with which relations had always been rather tense – again, according to the information Pride gleaned with a distracted ear – their father had decided that Envy would step in. So, barely a week after the incident, the sin took on their brother's appearance and led, albeit in a somewhat questionable manner, the political and military affairs of Amestris. As for the Führer's family… they were informed that as long as the diplomatic situation remained unstable, the King would be unable to return home and need to focus on his state duties. In reality, it was simply out of the question for Envy to go and play the loving husband and father. He had better things to do, like cleverly handling their difficult situation by blaming Scar for what was now called the "March attack" on HQ.
One thing was certain, however: Envy did not have the makings of a leader, and this role with no room for improvisation was seriously getting on his nerves. Not only did he have to put on a happy face in the wrinkled body he loathed, but he also had to keep an eye on Pride, for whom Father entrusted his guardianship and training. Officially, because he wanted to make Envy more responsible, and Pride had adhered to this version; unofficially, and Envy wouldn't admit this to his younger brother, because their father wanted to punish him for his chronic lack of judgment, which had led to their debacle last March. He intended to correct the situation by delegating the training of their new recruit to the one who hated him most in the world and who had, through several blunders, caused all their past plans to fail. At least, that was the only explanation Envy could see for that stupid decision.
Whatever the case, the task didn't suit him much better than that of Führer. However, unlike what their creator thought, it at least had the merit of amusing him from time to time. But that too, Envy wouldn't mention to Pride, especially since tonight… he wasn't really in the mood to "have fun."
"'You don't know what I'm talking about'… You don't know what I'm talking about?" The sin repeated in a falsely cheerful tone, a nervous smile plastered on his face like a mask, yet struggling to hide the anger brewing deep within his gut.
He raised his hands to the sky as if expecting divinity to strike him… even though God would probably have been the last to concern himself with the troubles of an artificial being.
"But of course! How silly of me! Did you teleport outside by magic? Or… Nah, let me guess! Don't say anything! It was the wind that carried you out the window you escaped through?" Envy mocked sarcastically, accompanying his words with a theatrical gesture. With an eye roll, he asserted in a much harsher tone: "Stop telling me bullshit!"
For once, Pride frowned. Around him, the tension mounted with each passing second, becoming almost tangible. Yet, no matter how hard he searched his memory, he had absolutely no recollection of having…
"Remember."
"…!"
Pride spun around, eyes wide and breath short.
No one.
Yet, he was sure he had heard a v…
"PRIDE, for fuck's sake! I'm talking to you!" Envy shouted, jumping up to grab him by the collar and reclaim the attention of his distracted student. "Is it too much to ask for you to connect your fucking two neurons for a minute and focus on what I'm saying!?"
Pride turned towards him, eyes lost and confused. It was then that he noticed something strange on his elder's clothes and skin: long crimson streaks turned blackish by the night. They were so dry they seemed to have embedded themselves and cracked imperceptibly on his skin. It was blood, no doubt, and judging by its appearance, shed a while ago. And if it hadn't been reabsorbed by his brother's body, it meant… it was someone else's.
Pride slowly raised his hand to a larger streak on the androgynous one's shoulder… and found his own fingers also speckled with dark stains.
Suddenly, a memory surfaced in his foggy mind.
Someone.
He'd seen someone.
And had gone outside.
"I saw someone… and… I went outside…" Pride said like an automaton as the thoughts caught up with him, one after another.
"You went outside because you saw someone?" Envy repeated. He sized him up for a moment, then let the younger one go with a gesture made abrupt by impatience. However, he observed Pride with a puzzled look, contrasting with the anger still boiling within him.
"Yes… A soldier… He was quite tall… Short hair… Dark…"
"'Dark'?" Envy picked up, suddenly tensing.
"Brown… I think."
"Ah!" The sin said, surprisingly relieved. "You're talking about the guy I took out!"
"The one you…"
Reality hit Pride like a punch in the face. He remembered: Pride waits for Envy's return to the office, bored out of his mind. He goes to lean on the window to watch the soldiers scattered around the HQ courtyard. Some walk briskly, eager to reunite with their families at this late hour; others, who stay in the barracks behind the imposing structure, stroll more leisurely, synchronized with their drinking companions, laughing heartily at the thought of the booze they'll share around a card game.
And among all those people who are lost in the night, under the dim gaze of the young homunculus who dreams of another life he will likely never taste… a silhouette stands out. A tall man, in his thirties, with chestnut hair and a kind expression. His slightly furrowed brow betrays an anxiety of unknown origin, but he's adopted the resolute stride of those who seek to combat worry with a sudden burst of energy. So, he charges headlong towards his barracks when suddenly, as he is following with his tired eyes the erratic flight of a bat searching for its meal, he lifts his head.
Perhaps, also, because his straightforward gaze turns towards the HQ; towards one of the few unlit windows at this late hour. Perhaps, again, because a playful moonbeam strikes a pane of glass, he's dazzled. Perhaps.
His pace, dictated by his thoughts, gradually slows. His tired eyes narrow, and suddenly, Pride, whose breath catches, feels the man's gaze piercing through him.
The man stops abruptly, just a few meters below the building.
This human has noticed him. He's seen him, despite the darkness of the office. He's sure of it.
And this human stands there, frozen and speechless, as if he had seen a ghost.
Their gazes clash, scrutinizing each other, seeking each other out.
For an unknown reason, Pride feels an irresistible urge to meet him; a need, even. And for an equally obscure reason… he responds to it.
He suddenly opens the window and slips outside deftly, despite Envy's prohibition and that small voice in him telling him not to needlessly provoke his protector's wrath. He lands lightly on the cool, damp cobblestones of the courtyard and rushes towards this strange human who…
He's not sure anymore. He vaguely remembers being shaken… The man must be trying to tell him something. Can't he find his words? Or is it Pride who doesn't understand the words he thinks he recalls the man saying? The soldier is calling someone… Shouting a name… He…
He doesn't have time to understand. No time to ask him.
A spray of blood bursts out of the stomach of the unfortunate soldier, whose fingers tighten on the bare shoulders of the homunculus, which he's still shaking when the tragedy happens. The man gives Pride a horrified look, a few last words that the blond still doesn't understand, then, without warning… collapses at his feet. Pride sees him weakly extending his hand towards him… but it's crushed like a twig by a merciless boot, without hesitation.
Silence.
Then, Envy's voice reaches the young homunculus, disconcerted. The voice is distant; almost inaudible. Pride can only make out a vague mush of sounds. His mind remains obsessed with the face of this soldier whom he has the impression of having encountered dozens of times already, without being able to remember where. He sees, in the depths of his singularly familiar dark eyes, life fading away little by little. The acrid smell of iron and punctured guts burns in his throat, but when his head suddenly spins, it's not because of the horrible stench of death that rises from the corpse…
But because of the memories which violently compress his skull like a vice.
This man, he knew him.
He doesn't remember where.
He doesn't remember how.
But somewhere, deep inside, a voice screams at him that maybe, once, that man had been more than just a uniform.
Maybe not a friend…
But a man who could have been worthy of being one.
"…!"
A piercing scream erupted in the room. Pride clutched his head in his trembling hands and staggered to the nightstand, which he struck with a terrible groan. He collapsed into the piece of furniture, dragging it down with him as he fell, before crumpling onto the floor, which creaked under his weight.
The blond began to convulse with incoherent cries, under the astonished gaze of Envy.
"Pride! The fuck is happening to you!?" Envy exclaimed, immediately trading his resentment for concern.
He hurriedly crouched beside the younger one, awkwardly waving his hands around him without really knowing what to do. Should he hold him to prevent him from hitting anything within reach? Carry him to the bed? Or let him writhe like a possessed person on the floor until the fit passed?
His question was quickly answered, as his erratic spasms simply prevented his brother from approaching.
"…"
After a moment of reflection and a quick analysis, Envy, resigned, let the teenager writhe on the floor to his heart's content, clawing at the parquet until his nails peeled off and continuously squealing against the demons of the past that assailed him.
What else could he do, after all? He had no control over what was happening in his younger brother's mind. There was no remedy for this ailment, for what plagued Pride was among the most painful. Envy knew this well, having gone through it himself. Some signs were unmistakable: incoherent speech, dilated pupils, barely bearable suffering and convulsions… This was the punishment reserved for beings like them. When repressed memories came to crucify their minds, still fogged by their artificial rebirth, there was only one thing to do: grit their teeth and endure the ordeal imposed by their nature and that past life that was no longer theirs. After a few minutes or perhaps hours, these fragments of the past would be buried once again in the unconscious, forced deep by the stone at their core… assimilated as crumbs of a bygone era, and relegated to the darkest corner of their memory.
Envy was convinced it would be the same for Pride. And once the blond was sufficiently overwhelmed by pain to do nothing more than gasp, the sin gently shook his head and slid his left hand under his protégé's. Just to prevent him from smashing his skull against the bedpost he was dangerously close to, should he start thrashing about again.
Envy observed the small blond head cradled in his palm with a stern eye. It must have been this buried memory that had driven the younger one to disobey his orders and venture outside the office where he'd been told to stay hidden. In other words, Pride had indeed gone out to speak to that man, not just to get some fresh air.
He had been right to kill that guard.
Who knew what that soldier might have, or worse, could have said to his younger brother? Their father's instructions had been very clear on that matter: Pride was under no circumstances to recover even the slightest crumb of memories from his former life as an alchemist, which had until now remained buried deep within him like a dusty Pandora's box. Unfortunately, all the precautions Envy took had evidently not been enough: the former alchemist pathetically agonizing before his eyes was indeed struggling against the past he had been tasked to guard him from, and whose memory had been rekindled by that stranger; perhaps even more so by his death.
"…"
Envy was in a real bind. He knew this lapse in attention would not be forgiven. So, the only thing to do was to hope that Pride's former life wouldn't take over. If the human he had been regained control of this body…
All the efforts made to follow the established plan, rigorously adhered to since their last bitter failure, would go up in smoke.
"Damn… Pull yourself together, Pride…" Envy murmured, gently placing his right hand over Pride's nose to make him breathe his own air and prevent him from hyperventilating as dramatically as he was. The sin was already anxious enough without having to absorb the stress of the little blond, which was too contagious for his liking.
Envy remained this way, uncertain, for a long while, contemplating his brother in misfortune. Then, when he deemed him calm, he cautiously lifted his head to properly position him on his numb thighs and pull him close. He felt the warm, trembling breath of his younger brother hit his bare stomach, his frail hand clutching the folds of his skort in a desperate attempt to stay anchored to reality.
His eyes were wide open, but within them, his golden irises were drifting.
Pride probably didn't see him; perhaps he wasn't even aware of his state. Envy was well acquainted with this kind of trance. They always left scars, but never anything too deep.
Usually.
"…"
No words of comfort came to mind to soothe his apprentice. He wasn't good at such things and, in any case, Pride probably wouldn't hear him. So, instead of words, Envy opted for a gesture: his hand slowly glided over his long golden hair several times, in gentle, reassuring strokes.
Better than nothing.
Soon enough, Pride's body relaxed and collapsed like a deflated balloon. He became nothing more than a limp doll sprawled against the sin. One might have thought him dead, but his companion knew he had simply slipped into unconsciousness.
The same scene as before repeated itself: when Envy had realized that Pride, who had deserted the office shortly before he returned, was absent, he had rushed to the window, which the younger had left open to the elements with his usual carelessness. After some curses and furtive glances in all directions, the elder had spotted his brother in the inner courtyard of HQ with one of the soldiers who usually stood guard at the entrance to the building. Besides the bitter feeling that had filled his chest at the sight of his protégé alongside another man, Envy had immediately perceived the danger of this meeting. Pride was a fundamental element in their plan and should, under no circumstances, be discovered: many people could easily recognize in him the late Edward Elric, the young genius who had prematurely become a State Alchemist and who still had ties within the military premises.
The problem was: their secret base, despite the damage it had suffered, was still located precisely under Central military HQ, where they needed to circulate daily to maintain control over Amestris. So, lugging Pride around while ensuring he had no contact, even visual, with anyone was a significant challenge; a challenge Envy had managed to meet so far, and one he did not intend to fail like this.
The rule had been clearly laid out by their progenitor: unless otherwise indicated, if someone identified Pride or even seemed to approach him, they were to be eliminated on the spot. And that was precisely what Envy had done. Taking advantage of the darkness, he jumped out of the window and rushed at the guard. He hadn't even given the man time to utter a single sound or draw his service weapon: using his forearm, transformed into a sharp blade, the sin had silenced him with a single motion. It wasn't his finest performance, as the urgency of the situation had forced him to deliver a rather imprecise blow, but the result was the same. He nipped the threat in the bud.
However, to Envy's great surprise, Pride had lost consciousness by the time he straightened up and returned his arm to its organic form. The young homunculus then convulsed as he was doing now, but it had been mild enough for Envy not to pay much attention. At that moment, he had more pressing matters to attend to: he needed to flee as quickly as possible with the smaller one in his arms, as the courtyard was far from empty, even at night.
By a stroke of luck, the sin had committed his crime so efficiently that no one nearby noticed. Consequently, he'd been able to slip away without issue, carrying his welcome burden, to find a quiet place to assess the situation with Pride – and of course, not in their hideout, where Father would have taken the opportunity to give him the scolding of a lifetime upon hearing of his "exploit". The only drawback to all this was, of course, the soldier's body that Envy had to leave behind. No one could establish a cause-and-effect relationship between him or Pride and the death of that man, but Envy would have a real mess to clean up the next day when he resumed his wonderful role as acting Führer.
That being said, at the moment, all these political or criminal concerns were the least of his worries. What concerned him more was how he was going to explain to Father what was happening to his favorite sin. It would be useless to hide it from him: Pride would likely be agitated or disturbed enough by this traumatic experience to unintentionally raise suspicions, if he didn't voice them directly to their father. Nonetheless, for now, Envy preferred to keep some room to maneuver and think about how to present the problem without attracting the wrath of their progenitor for failing to properly supervise his little brother.
So, for now, he would simply take advantage of this strange closeness granted by the blond's torments to figure out how to untangle the inextricable situation he was in. Indeed, while a part of him called for repentance and feared the fury of their father on both of them… another, more secret part, felt a peculiar excitement at seeing his daily life so disrupted, to the point where he no longer knew whether he should feel guilty or rejoice; whether he should once and for all accept that Pride was "just" Pride… or regret the one who, in the past, would never have allowed him to get as close as he was at this precise moment.
Maybe time would tell.
"What memories are assailing you?" Envy whispered pensively, while brushing a golden lock away from his younger brother's still youthful face.
His lips curled into a nostalgic smile.
He couldn't define why, but he would have liked to be connected to those untamed memories. Because, since his birth, Pride had shown no signs of reminiscence, forging a new relationship with Envy that didn't acknowledge the old one at all.
As if it had never existed.
Yet it had existed. Just like the alchemist who had lost his life that day; that fateful day.
Well… "lost his life…"
Maybe not, after all.
Envy smiled.
The days ahead held much promise.
To be continued…
There we go! Well! This chapter was just a teaser. I hope you like the beginning and, above all, that it makes you want to keep reading x3 I also hope I didn't overwhelm you with too much information :x Since everything needs to be recalled in the first chapters, it might slow down the pace a bit… Sorry u.u'
Also, as the story is originally written in French, it takes a lot of time for me to translate it. So, even if the story is almost finished in French and keeps on going at the rate of one chapter per week in my native language, it may not be that fast in English ' I hope you'll understand, and I thank everyone that will be here to read it whenever it's updated!
Last but not least, don't forget to thank StrawberryKiuwi for their wonderful work on the English version of the story :3
Redaction: White Assassin
English betaproofing: StrawberryKiuwi
