I'd sacrifice,
I'd sacrifice myself to you
Right here tonight
Because you know that I love you
Love you, love you, love you

The candle is burning low
At the window to my soul
The reaper is at my door now
He's come to take me home

Sacrifice – London After Midnight

8. Sacrifice

Isabella Marie Swan would be the death of me, if I could die a second time. I knew that under certain circumstances, I would gladly offer my existence for her if it meant she kept her life. I also knew that I meant this in a physical and figurative way. An infinitesimal fraction of the time I had spent on this Earth had been taken up completely by this small human girl that would have otherwise never mattered if she had never arrived in Forks. The fact that my existence had begun to revolve around her in its entirety was suited to me by fate. The many nights I spent in her bedroom, pondering this half-life I had, I had lamented over what I was. I cursed and pushed down the monster within that threatened Bella's life every second I was with her. I had considered that in some ways, Bella was a threat to me, too. Yes, her blood sang to me in ways I had never experienced before. The burning that lingered in my throat from this evening's unexpected reunion was proof enough of this. Decades of carefully crafted and exercised control had always been under the looming threat that I may lose it in Bella's presence. In a way, she had threatened my existence and what I had forced myself to stand for. But this threat had never been concerning enough for me. It lacked any true peril and I, the vampire that I was, turned Bella into my very reason for existing. Her existence must continue for mine to mean anything.

Even if that meant that my existence, as it was, would cease.

Further, Alice had always seen Bella and I together. The visions had solidified the longer I was in Bella's company, changing scenes turning to unwavering certainty that Bella was my match, and I was hers. This seemed to be a fact despite our differences. And even as I left Bella and returned to her life accidentally, Alice's visions prevailed. Insistent. Was it fate or some twisted taunting from God or the universe that I would never be the same as Bella – I would never truly be the right match for her? My very existence's sole purpose was to destroy Bella. Inside, the monster craved it. It was self-control that kept it buried deep, my will to be stronger than what I was that pushed it all the way down. I had had years to practice. Bella had almost undone all my work simply by sitting next to me one fated day. It was my own self-control that kept her safe, mixed with the undeniable need to be with her. Alice called it fate. Some days I agreed. Lately, I called it stupidity.

Now, face to face in a dark alleyway with the prime example of what I was, I knew the whole thing had been extraordinarily foolish of me. How could I have ever been so irrational to think it would have ever worked? How could I have thought for even a millisecond that I could love Bella and preserve her life simultaneously? I cringed at the thought. It was like an animal toying with its food, torturing it before it finally dove in and took its meal with utmost delight. I briefly wondered at my mental state. Had I, when Carlisle turned me, kept the naïve, teenaged nature of my mental faculties along with my more useful talents? For the better part of a century, I had considered myself a serious man. I had misunderstood myself. I knew now that what I had attempted to create with Bella – my own version of human love and intimacy – was a charade. I had been pretending, hoping, that I might achieve what could be a normal love with a perfectly normal human girl. All I had done was brought her into hell with me. I, Hades, dragged her down into an underworld wrought with bloodlust and inhumanity. And she come with me so willingly. I had held out a pomegranate and she had delighted in eating every single seed.

I had ruined her. As hard as I might have tried not to, I knew that in many ways, I had destroyed parts of Bella without even touching her. I knew, from the small interaction we'd had in the classroom that evening, that my leaving had impacted her in ways I did not want to imagine. The fear in her eyes, mixed with anger and the anxiety that rolled off her scent told me our separation had taken a toll on her, too. I knew it had been selfish, leaving like that. Leaving Bella in Forks with my family's secrets. I forced her to live alone with the knowledge that the world was not what she once thought it was. She knew it was ripe with danger and creatures that sought to kill her just for being human. What was worse was that Bella had no one to share this with. Bella was good. I knew that leaving her posed no risk to my kind's detection. Bella knew the risks for not only my family, but hers as well.

And as I stood in the small alcove now, I looked Victoria in the face. In that moment, she was more than a vampire. She was the sole risk to Bella's life. And even if I knew that I could never truly be with Bella, I knew I was in her debt more ways than I wanted to count. Protecting Bella Swan was a small price I could pay for the duration of her life. Suddenly, I was reminded of the profundity of my purpose. I existed, purely in this moment, as Bella's protector. The human life span was around 80 years. Bella was soon to turn 19. In comparison to eternity, protecting her for the remainder of her human life was a small price I could pay.

I stared back at Victoria's eyes, crazed with recent bloodlust. It had not been long since she took the lives of the humans left one street over. I stared at her. The very threat to Bella's life in front of me, within my grasp. I felt my fingers twitch with instinct. One foul swoop and I could eliminate her from the earth.

"Victoria," I said. With her name on my lips, I felt the venom rise in the back of my mouth. It coated each syllable of her name which hung in the air around us.

"You've found me," she stated. I picked up on the nervous edge to her tone immediately. She was just as surprised to see me as I was to see her. Despite Alice's visions, I did not anticipate coming across the nomad vampire so soon. And in the presence of humans, no less. Dead or alive.

"You haven't exactly been subtle," I hissed at her, lowering my voice to a level undetectable to human ears. "Does the risk of exposure not concern you at all?"

"I was wondering when you'd show up," she snapped back, ignoring my comment. Her eyes darted from side to side, looking for an escape past me at the entrance to the alcove we stood in. In an instant, I watched Victoria flit past me. My body moved on its own. I moved at vampire speed, following her as she scaled the side of the buildings that followed the length of the alleyway. I was not prepared to let Victoria out of my sight when I had come this close to her now. She landed on top of one of the buildings and backed up when she saw me approaching. She knelt into a crouch, and I mirrored her, prepared to follow wherever she went.

"So, tracking does seem to be a speciality of yours," she mused, her eyes narrowed to slits as she appraised me. Her thoughts were scrambled, giving away that she was more shocked I had come across her than she let on through body language.

"When someone leaves trails of bloodshed behind them," I started, cocking my head to the side as I sifted through her anxious mind, "It is not difficult to find them." I didn't catch any plans for her to run from me at this moment. Nor did she seem to plan to attack me, which stunned me into doing the same.

A few months after I met Bella, I had destroyed Victoria's mate, James. I was sure this was reason enough for her to seek vengeance, and her lack of advancement towards me was surprising. I thought it would be a fight she was wanting. I was reminded that Victoria was a vampire whom I did not know well. In fact, this was only my second time meeting her. I was not aware of the inner workings of her mind, though I knew how scattered it was. Victoria had always seemed on edge to me, even with James and Laurent flanked at her side.

It had been Laurent who Victoria had sent to Forks to approach Bella. For what reason, I was unaware though I suspected it was to find out where Bella was and what my family's role in protecting her was.

I stared at Victoria for a moment. Her eyes searched around her, as if she waited for someone to appear at any moment.

"I'm alone," I told her evenly. "But don't let that fool you." Her vivid red hair swirled around her as her head flicked back to look at me. Her lips curled back in a snarl.

"And if I'm not?"

"I doubt that will change my intentions," I said softly. "I know Laurent is already dead, anyway." She bristled at the mention of Laurent.

"Of course you know that," she spat. "It wasn't enough for you to kill James. You took Laurent, as well." I cocked an eyebrow at her and a soft chuckle made its way up my throat.

"I had nothing to do with Laurent's death," I said, raising both my hands slightly. "Nor did any of my family's." Mentally, I made a note to mention this to Alice. Truly, myself nor my family had anything to do with Laurent's death. I wondered briefly for a moment who had, and what this meant in relation to Bella.

"Don't lie, Cullen."

"Of course," I carried on, ignoring her, "I would have made sure it was a quick death. Perhaps not an easy one, but quick. It wouldn't have mattered why you sent him."

"I didn't send Laurent," Victoria said, her voice raising an octave in frustration. "That little human of yours tempted him."

"What?" This caught me off guard. I was sure when Alice had told me that Laurent had been killed for approaching Bella that his reason for being there was because Victoria had sent him to kill Bella.

"He wanted a meal," Victoria continued. "But what reason did I have to stop him? It would have solved my problems for me. And for whatever it means to you, Laurent would have been kinder to your little human than I would have been." I glared at Victoria.

"And then," she carried on, "I confirmed his death. And now here you are."

"Interesting," I mused quietly. "You see, my family and I left Forks a year ago. I would have been impossible for one of us to have killed Laurent. As much as I would have delighted in that," I added. A sudden image of Bella alone in the woods came to mind, Laurent lurking behind her in the shadows. I forced the image away. Now was not the time for distractions.

I watched as Victoria stared at me, putting the pieces together. In her mind, she was going over the last 12 months and lamenting on the many missed opportunities she had had to capture Bella. To torture her. To bring her to me and make her suffer before my eyes. To repay me for what I did to James. Images of Bella drained of blood, thrown at my feet, her eyes dime lifeless sockets amid her white face. I growled low in my throat.

"You wouldn't have gotten close enough to even smell her scent," I ground out. Victoria laughed, the sound a lilting, high pitched noise that ricocheted off the sides of my brain.

"And yet, here I am in the same city she is. Had I known you and the others were gone, I would have finished her in seconds."

Victoria rose to her full height and walked slowly towards where I crouched on the roof. I stood as she came near me, my six feet and two inches higher than her five feet and six inches. I cast my eyes down towards hers, bristling at the sickly-sweet scent that rolled off her. I detected the lingering smell of human blood. Victoria, in her frenzy, was messy and careless.

"You will never get close enough to her," I said. My voice was dangerously calm, teetering on the edge of the rage I felt simmering inside. My hands twitched at my sides, and I felt the urge to rip Victoria's head from her neck. How easy it would be, with my speed and the knowledge of her next moves in her thoughts.

Victoria gazed up at me, her bottom lip jutting out in a fake pout. She sniffed for dramatic effect.

"Poor Edward Cullen," she said, feigning sadness. "Had to leave his lovely little human girl all alone." She tilted her head at me, sighing. "I can't imagine how difficult it was, knowing how keen you are on her. So in love that you left, knowing I was out there and intending to destroy me before I got to Bella." My hands balled into fists, and I forced my body to be still.

"Leaving a defenseless human out there in the world, no longer protected by the Cullen clan." She looked down and began inspecting her nails. "One might assume you really didn't care what happened to her." Her eyes flicked to mine, a vicious humour flashing in them.

"I was hunting you," I said. "And considering we are both here right now, I was right on your trail." She rolled her eyes at me, but I continued despite her, "You are awful at concealing your path, Victoria. I happened to find myself in Olympia for other reasons, but it was obvious you were close by when I arrived. Your hunting … habits. I would argue they match the skill of a frenzied newborn."

Victoria shot a glare at me, her nostrils flaring. It was evident that she did not enjoy her skills as a vampire being critiqued, though it was difficult to avoid the mess she was leaving behind her. I cocked my head in the direction of the police below us, who were now removing the bodies and beginning to tie off the crime scene. I could hear their thoughts indicating they were close to leaving the scene for the night, but they would return soon. Turning my attention back to Victoria, I saw her glancing around the space once more. I narrowed my eyes and tapped into her mind, but she was forcing me out by scattering her thoughts. She was aware of my ability, and I was slightly impressed by her capacity to skew the workings of her mind just enough that it made it difficult to pin down one thought. I recognized that Victoria had a talent for being evasive, and I wondered briefly if this was part of it.

I had been standing on the roof we occupied for five minutes. I realized that Victoria had continued existing for five minutes too long in my presence and I felt the familiar rage rising to the surface. How could I have let her live in front of me for this long? I pictured how easy it would be for me to attack, tearing her limb from limb, relishing the action. How quickly and easily my debt to Bella would be repaid. How soon I could leave Olympia to let Bella continue her life in peace.

Victoria's irritatingly sweet voice broke through my thoughts.

"I don't enjoy being alone," she muttered. I glared at her.

"And I care about this why, exactly?" I questioned. Victoria looked back at me, and then once again, her eyes scanned around us.

"Your human, of course."

"What about her?" I hissed.

"Before Laurent was ... killed," she started, hesitating. "And who killed him, I still have not figured out. But before he was killed, we risked exposure." I narrowed my eyes.

"Exposure? How?"

"Laurent was careless one evening," she continued, almost aloof as though this story mattered very little. "It had been a while since he had hunted after … James." She glanced down at the ground, and I suddenly got a glimpse into her mind. I felt the sudden emotional pain that coated her thoughts of James. If this was to make me feel guilty, it didn't work.

"I found it difficult to hunt for weeks," she said, her thoughts drifting towards the events that followed James' death. Images of Victoria and Laurent on the move, Laurent urging Victoria to hunt but Victoria refusing, instead insisting that Laurent just destroy her as well. She shook her head, as if feeling my presence there. She went on, "Laurent was patient. He tried to support me, and we agreed on travelling together. But in doing so, he neglected his own needs.

"We planned to leave Washington," she continued, "But Laurent promised me that we would avenge James first. So, we stayed close by to Forks."

"You planned on killing her," I said, not wishing to speak Bella's name in Victoria's presence. She nodded and carried on speaking.

"I had played around with the idea of killing you, as well," she said dryly. "But I know how much you love your … human girl-"

"My duty is to protect her from you, and that is all," I interjected, holding up a hand. It did not matter to me what Victoria thought of any feelings I held for Bella. It would make no difference, though I attempted to let the seriousness of my duty to Bella show through in my words. I would keep Bella safe until it was no longer necessary, and then she would be free to live out her life.

"Please," scoffed Victoria, rolling her eyes. "I've met others of our kind who had a connection to their mate like yours. It's obvious, Cullen. I knew you'd not want to continue living without her. But you spared no concern for how I would feel living without James when you destroyed him." She turned to look at me now, her eyes darkening as she let her anger show through on her features. Her lips curled back as she spoke again, "I wanted you to feel the same pain that I did. So, my plan was to kill Bella and let you live with the knowledge that you didn't protect her. But I knew this would be no easy task. Your coven is close to one another. This was evident on the night we met. Laurent and I kept our eye on you for a few weeks, and decided we needed another plan.

"We stayed in Washington, but travelled around outside of Forks so we didn't stray too far. We wound up in Seattle, and Laurent had been struggling to contain his thirst for about a week. I found relief in the burning I felt, however. It was better than the numbness you inflicted upon me." She cast her head to the side, crossing her arms over her chest. I wanted to interrupt her – I wanted to finish her there and then, but I stopped myself. I forced my muscles into submission, keeping my arms tight by my sides as I made myself listen to her explanation.

"Laurent, ever careful as he usually was, struggled one night. We were attempting to blend in one evening. We came across two humans together downtown. Laurent forced me to hunt with him. We followed them a short while before attacking. But I – I didn't want to hunt. I found it tiring, despite how thirsty I was. You see, when you lose your mate, you lose all your will to continue living." She looked up at me again, her red eyes boring into mine, her thoughts hiding none of her pain from me.

I knew what Victoria was alluding to. The process of a vampire finding a mate was a precarious one, and something that did not happen often. Carlisle had tried to introduce me to many female vampires during the time we had spent alone together, and even for decades after our family was formed. These women were adequate, but I never felt the connection the rest of my family spoke of or seemed to experience with their respective mates. It often left me feeling empty, lost, and like there was something wrong with me. I had just assumed that I was fated to spend eternity on my own and I had prepared myself to accept this fact for however long I would exist. That is, until I had laid eyes on Bella. Within a matter of weeks, I had found it nearly impossible to be away from her. I had found renewed purpose for myself in Bella. I, for the first time, had experienced the inexplicable pull towards her that my family had described, and this feeling was so fulfilling that I refused to let it go.

Then, when it was necessary for me to leave Bella, I had felt the aching pain of separation. Whatever force it was that connected me to her, its energy ripped apart the molecules that made up my body. It was a pain that I could not put into words – for the first time in a century, I did not know how to articulate something. For months, I neglected my thirst, much like Victoria was describing to me. It was only the focus of finding Victoria and destroying her for Bella's sake that had pushed me forward. I had heard stories of vampires losing their mates who isolated themselves to such an extent that they became an immovable shell of their former identities. When Carlisle had explained to me the process of mating for a vampire, he had compared losing one's mate to an experience very close to death, where a vampire could simply exist in the same place for the rest of eternity.

When I looked at Victoria, I almost felt pity for a moment. I could sympathize with her pain, with the lack of will to continue existing. I forced this sympathy down to wherever it had come from. I might have destroyed Victoria's mate, but she was a threat to the human who was mine. Despite not being able to be with my mate, knowing she was alive in this world would have to be enough for me.

"I drank the blood of a human male," Victoria continued, bringing me out of my thoughts. "Only, I didn't finish him off." I snapped my head up at this.

"You didn't kill him?" I questioned. She sighed and shook her head.

"I didn't think I would be capable of it," she said. "Ever – turning someone. You know, it is very difficult to do. To stop. But I lacked bloodlust, and his blood wasn't very appealing to me. Laurent had completely drained the girl he drank from, and he had gone to hunt another human nearby. But I … I left mine alone. Not thinking, I left to find Laurent."

"You created a newborn," I stated. It wasn't a question, it was a fact. Victoria had failed to finish off a victim and left him to turn. As if hearing my thoughts, she nodded her confirmation.

"We found him a week later, after realizing there was an increase in human deaths and disappearances. We … helped him after that. I found him to be quite appealing to me, and he helped with the absence of James somewhat. Shortly after this, Laurent left for a month."

"Did he return to you and your … newborn?"

"Yes," Victoria said, her voice now a whisper, and her eyes squinted with a new sort of pain as she looked at me. As I took in her expression, I realized it wasn't pain she was feeling. It was fear. It was the same apprehension I had seen on her face when we first landed on the roof and whenever she glanced nervously at our surroundings.

"We had trouble restraining … him," she said, almost nervously. "The newborn, I mean. I'm sure you've heard of all the attacks. The humans have been reporting them. It wasn't just me being careless," she said. "But while Laurent was away from us, and I tried teaching the newborn to be more careful, Laurent was – was contacted by the Volturi."

This caught my attention. It was unlike the Volturi to meddle in most vampire's lives unless necessary. Under circumstances that risked the exposure of our kind, the Volturi would become quite involved.

"The Volturi…?" I let my thoughts trail off for a moment before I guessed at what she was getting at. "They were aware of your newborn's … attacks?"

"Indeed," she said, looking away. "In fact, they demanded an explanation. Of course, this involved telling them of James's disappearance." Her eyes slid back to mine now and she added, "Laurent explained what happened to James. He told them everything – about the ridiculous baseball game, to the ballet studio, to when you ripped James apart. And then to how his death had affected me. Why I had created a newborn." Her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke of James' death. And then she added the most damned part of this story.

"Aro knows that Bella is aware of our existence. And that she lives … that she is still human."

As I let this detail sink in, my mind reeled with the implications of the Volturi knowing that Bella, a human, had been exposed to our kind for an extended amount of time. When I spoke next, my voice shook with anger.

"You should know I will protect Isabella at all costs, Victoria." It wasn't just a statement; it was a warning. I glared hard at her, and her thoughts spiraled again, only this time in … fear? This was good. I needed Victoria to be afraid.

"All I am saying is there are bigger threats to your pathetic human than just me, Cullen." She spat the word "human" as though it was an insult or something to be ashamed of. Perhaps I should feel shame. In many ways, I needed to feel ashamed not of Bella's humanness, but for dragging her into a world where humans did not belong.

"Then I'll destroy you first, Victoria," I spat back, venom flooding my mouth. I felt my body thrumming with the urge to crouch and pounce on Victoria, my hands twitching in anticipation of ripping her apart like I had imagined doing so many times before. "One less threat to her life."

"You know," Victoria drawled, feigning undaunted confidence, "I don't know why you just didn't turn her when you had the chance. It would have made everything so much easier. James wouldn't have even attacked." She returned to inspecting her nails.

This was a common theme among the other vampires in my life. Their confusion over why I refused to turn Bella was perhaps evidence of their misunderstanding of the value her human life held. I knew, deep down, had I stayed with Bella, her transformation would have been inevitable. But I was not going to risk her missing out on any human experiences. I could be selfish – but I refused to take these aspects of a human existence away from Bella just because I wanted her for eternity.

I supposed it no longer mattered, however. Bella would go on to live out her human life the way it was naturally intended. I would continue to exist for as long as I could, defending her life from afar. When hers ended, joining her would be a decision I made them. I hoped, for Bella's sake, I had many decades to make that decision.

"You wouldn't understand," I snapped. Victoria smirked at me.

"You could have her for eternity, Edward. Why waste an opportunity such as that?"

"As you know, Victoria, we can still lose our mates even after they are turned." It was just the right dig to get under her skin. She straightened her back, turning her nose up in the air, and huffed.

"Unlikely with how obsessive you are over her," she muttered. "I suppose the Volturi are thorough enough. If I don't get to her first, they will."

"I mean it when I say I will allow no harm to come to her," I seethed. "Do I need to exemplify this to you?" Victoria chuckled, the sound light and airy.

"I know what you're capable of, Edward." She paused, casting her face to the sky. "I'm trying to build an army," she added swiftly.

Suddenly, the pieces fell into place. All the news reports about people going missing or bodies turning up made more sense. Of course, the details surrounding these mysteries were perplexing to humans. But to my kind, it was the obvious work of a nomadic vampire. It was a spree of a bloodthirsty monster with little concern for the mess they left in their wake.

It was Victoria attempting to create newborn vampires but failing and basking in a sadistic bloodlust.

"An army of newborns," I finished for her. She nodded.

"I know the Volturi will be on my trail for the messes I've left behind me. And without James and Laurent, I'm alone. There's safety in numbers. With a few others with me, I'll be able to defend myself." I narrowed my eyes. The Volturi were volatile sometimes, but Aro was ancient. He enjoyed a good battle, but often sought to resolve manners in a more diplomatic way.

"If they are already on to you, why not stop? Avoid detection?"

"They've already detected my actions," Victoria said, shrugging. "And if I'm honest, a solitary life is not for me. I have lost hope of another true mate after James, but a large coven would give me extra protection." She smiled, thinking to herself that this was a purely acceptable reason to be attempting to turn humans whenever she got the chance.

"You have your newborn from before, with Laurent," I said. "Is that not good enough?"

"Riley," she sighed, shaking her head. She smirked at me. "His name is Riley. He's … good enough, I suppose. But he doesn't possess any special talents." Victoria's eyes darkened and she took a step towards me. I kept my feet planted firmly, ready to attack if needed.

"He doesn't have any talents like yours, Edward," she said softly, coming closer. "Imagine your ability in a fight against the Volturi…" I raised my chin in disgust at the sickly-sweet tone that came from her mouth. Slowly, Victoria began to walk around me, and she kept speaking.

"I'm not strong enough to turn humans," she lamented. "Riley was a one off for me. I suspect this was due to the depressive state I was in. His company has been … helpful. He's not James or Laurent, of course, and he's new. But he is doing well. He's hunting right now," she said, smirking. I bristled at the idea she would let a newborn vampire hunt alone. Despite being months old, this Riley she spoke of would still be crazed with bloodlust. Control took months to achieve.

"And of course with Riley being a newborn," she said, lowering her voice to a whisper, "he can't turn people, either. Obviously." I stood, rigid while Victoria paced around me. I kept track of every sound she made. The soft, barely audible padding of her feet on the roof. The rustle of her jacket against the rest of her clothes. The sound of strands of hair brushing against each other. I knew, if needed, that I could find a space to attack. For now, I let her continue.

Victoria stopped behind me, and I heard, for the first time, some coherent thoughts. She was not attempting to keep her thoughts scattered as a defense now.

Carlisle Cullen's son. Carlisle created his entire family. If I could just have someone capable like that-

"Carlisle will never aid you in this bizarre quest you have, Victoria," I said. "Our family is … relatively complete. He has not added to it for years."

"Yes, but it's astonishing, isn't it? The strength he must have. He's a doctor, isn't he? Amazing," she mused quietly, and I heard her index finger tapping her chin. I whirled around to face her now, seeing her contemplative face.

"Working in the human world, around all that blood."

"Carlisle has been around for centuries. He has all but mastered his thirst," I said, waving my hand. "But he won't help you."

"You know," she said, ignoring me again. "I dig some digging on your family, Edward."

"And what did you find, pray tell?"

"Well, I know you consider yourself, what's the term, 'vegetarians'? How original." She rolled her eyes. "But the self-control that must take you and your … family."

"It comes with its difficulties," I muttered, my eyes following her as she began to pace in front of me.

"And you! You're in love with a human. And one that smells so appealing, at that. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to be with her. To be close to her… so close that you could almost taste her." She grinned at me wickedly. "How do you do it?"

"Isabella's life is worth more to me than a few moments of indulgence."

"Yes, I suppose for you, she would be…"

There was a beat of silence between us before she spoke again.

"Your family has taken advantage of your ability to blend in, haven't you?"

"We enjoy a more stable existence," I said, keeping my voice even. Victoria was irritating. If she wanted to talk about self-control, it would do her well to know how much I used in that moment to not destroy her out of annoyance. How satisfying it would have been to tear her tongue out first, before anything else.

"So much so that you have gone to university many times, yes?"

"I fail to see what this has to do with anything," I ground out. My patience was starting to wear thin.

"You're a doctor, as well, aren't you?" I rolled my eyes.

"I was a medical student for many years," I corrected her. "I thought of following in my fath- in Carlisle's footsteps. I have decent self-control, but it is not nearly as developed as Carlisle's." As I spoke, I made a mental note to figure out just how Victoria had come across this information. My family, intensely private as we were, was well known amongst our kind. There were others who knew parts of our history, though I had completed these medical degrees under my human surname, not Cullen. I was merely curious as to who made Victoria privy to this information.

"But you have similar self-control," she commented. "In fact … James almost turned your little human girl himself, did he not?" My ears perked up at this and regarded Victoria carefully.

"Yes," I said, feeling the venom almost bubbling in my veins at the memory. Bella's screaming, the realization that James had bit her, and she was beginning to feel the burning effects of transformation. The taste of Bella as I had sucked out the venom, tasting the sweet nectar that was her blood for the first time. I almost shuddered at the way my venom flowed into my mouth at the memory of the taste. My monster had been so close that day.

"And yet, Bella lives… she's still human. You managed to stop despite how much I'm sure you wanted to drink her dry…."

"As I have said before-"

"Yes, yes, I know, you would destroy yourself for Bella and all that," Victoria interrupted, impatiently waving her hand. "My point is – you are strong enough to resist human blood, Edward Cullen."

"Obviously," I drawled. "It is the way I have survived for decades now."

"Animal blood," she mused. "But the fact that you stopped Bella from turning … it's astonishing, really."

"You wouldn't understand," I said again.

"You're right," she said. "But what I do understand is that you, Edward, could help me."

A cold, dry laugh escaped my lips. "You are mistaken if you thought I would undo decades of my way of life to help you Victoria, even if I agreed it was possible. I have never created another vampire. Saving Isabella was a special case."

"And if I said this was another case of … saving Isabella?"

"The Volturi will stay away from her once we are rid of you. Isabella will have no need to stay involved in our world." I took a threatening step towards Victoria, but she stayed firmly where she was.

"The Volturi won't care if I'm gone," she said, her voice laced with that sickening sweetness again. "They'll demand Bella be turned or her life be ended, either way. She knows too much." I shook my head, though my mind reeled on the idea that the Volturi were aware Bella knew about the existence of Vampires. I knew from the past that there was truth in Victoria's words. The Volturi did not take threats of exposure lightly. In fact, many vampires had been destroyed simply for not being careful enough to conceal our existence.

You know I'm right. Victoria's thoughts came clear to me now. She stared at me, her eyes boring into mine. They'll come for her, eventually.

"I will not condemn Isabella to this - this half-life, this existence." My words came out angry. There was anger directed at Victoria, simply for her existence being a threat to Bella's life, and then anger at her for making sense. I knew the Volturi did not let up easily on matters such as these. This was something I had spoken at length about with Carlisle when discussing my future with Bella. I had figured that our leaving would solve this. Bella was one, small human girl. Despite the considerable impact she had on me, in the larger scale, Bella was one person in a world of billions. At her very core, Bella was good. She knew the risks of exposing what she knew, not only to herself and her family, but the risk it would bring to mine as well. Even if Bella was angry at me, there was no such malice in her heart that would lead her to exposing us.

"She would never risk exposing our kind. She is aware of the consequences," I said, shaking my head.

"That doesn't matter to the Volturi. They will come for her, and then it is either that she is turned, or they will kill her. And with you seemingly out of the picture … it only leaves them with the second option."

"Isabella will remain human," I ground out. "No matter what it takes. The Volturi will have no effect on her life."

"So, you will turn her, yourself?"

"Absolutely not," I snapped. "As I said her life as a human will remain-"

"So, if I don't kill her first, you are saying you will step aside and let the Volturi have her?"

"Victoria, you are on thin ice." I kept my voice dangerously calm, but this seemed to have no influence on her. She sighed and tilted her head at me, her fiery curls tipping over her shoulder.

"You implied earlier you are indebted to Bella. You would do anything to protect her, yes?" It was that same, nauseating sweet tone that I was growing weary of hearing. If my ear drums were capable of bleeding, they would.

"Anything," I said firmly. "No matter the cost." This was true. I knew that as long as Bella lived, I would do anything to keep her safe. This included viciously ripping a fellow vampire limb from limb and destroying every evidence of their existence. My fingers twitched again in anticipation. I crouched low in front of Victoria, my eyes sliding to slits as she continued to smirk at me.

"Then I offer you a deal, Cullen." Victoria lowered herself down to match my crouch. "I promise not to harm your sweet little human, if in return, you help me build an army. If you refuse, I'll go find Bella now. And maybe I'll turn her myself. But, it's been a few days since I last hunted. I'm not sure she would make it."

"Stop it," I breathed. "You will be destroyed before you even come close to her." Victoria chuckled once again, flashing her gleaming teeth at me.

"Of course, if you refuse, I can tell the Volturi where she is. I'm sure Aro would be more than willing to ignore my little mishap in return for a human that threatens to expose us all." My fingers curled around a small rock on the gravel that covered the roof we were on. Without thinking, my fist clenched and I pulverized the rock with ease. The sound of it cracking made Victoria smile more and she cocked her head to the side.

"I don't think you liked the sound of that, Edward, did you?" Her tone was mocking. A low growl escaped my throat.

"What will it take for you to leave Isabella out of this?"

"I need you to help me form an army of newborns," she said, smirking. "With your control, I think you could be very instrumental in this."

"How so?"

"I will just kill them if I try and turn them, Edward," she sighed, sounding exhausted. "But you … I think you could successfully turn a human before you drained them. Well, perhaps not the first few. After all, resisting human blood for so long might make the first few difficult to resist." I felt the flow of venom to my mouth increase. It was a reflex reaction of course, thinking about the natural mechanics of what I was. Thinking of feeding on human blood would cause any vampire to react similarly.

I felt the burn in my throat that had lingered from my class earlier that evening. I could smell the memory of Bella's scent clearly as if it permeated the air around me then. The dry, parched feeling that coated the inside of my mouth dissolved as venom coated my teeth.

I knew I was thirsty. In the previous months, I had not taken care of my thirst well. I could not even recall the last hunt that I truly enjoyed.

Below us, I heard the last of the police officers drive away from the scene Victoria had left behind. She was messy, untidy and disorganized in her attempts. Her patterns alone were enough to alert the Volturi.

"Ten humans, Edward. Only ten. That's a sizeable defense. And once we're finished, I'll leave. I vow to never harm Isabella Swan if you help me."

I searched Victoria's mind for stray thoughts that would give dishonesty away. The inner workings of her mind were focused on the idea she had presented to me. I scoured the edged of her mind to ensure there were no hints of a lie or devious trick. I came up empty. Buried beneath the determination to build a force to surround herself with were hints of fear and apprehension, but these feelings only gave way to the thoughts of the Volturi and what they may do to her. There was no indication from her thoughts that she might forfeit Bella's life, if I were to agree.

I would do anything to protect Isabella Marie Swan. Even if that meant giving up decades of control. I had already given up the one thing in the world that contributed to the remnants of my soul: Bella. I had traded my happiness for a chance at Bella's vibrant, virtuous soul continuing its true human path.

I was already dead. I was already as inhuman as things got. And without Bella by my side, the only thing I had to exist for the promise that her life would continue.

Victoria held out a hand to me. I stared at it. I reconciled with the fact that I was about to throw away any last shred of humanity existing with me.

But if meant that Bella's humanity would continue, I would sacrifice myself an infinite number of times.

I took Victoria's hand in mine and shook.

A/N: Things are about to get dark in Eddiekin's world. I hope you enjoyed.

Apologies for the later upload on this. It is, as Stephanie Meyer said, taxing to write from Edward's point of view. I was also a bit busier than normal. I'm hoping to have the next chapter up by next Sunday (Canadian Thanksgiving!)

Have a wonderful weekend.

KG Ward