Chapter Seven: Our Own Ohio

On their first full day as Arizona residents, Angela and Tony took the Volvo out in an empty parking lot, where she retrained her left foot to release a clutch pedal smoothly. Reverse was a little tricky, but he got to lean over the center console and throw his left arm around her while he covered her right hand and demonstrated. Then they went shopping together, filling the back of the station wagon with cleaning supplies, pantry staples, and fresh fruits and vegetables from California and Mexico.

The family's supply of cash was being depleted. Bobby and Jess' first prorated paychecks wouldn't come for a few weeks. Rent would be due a few weeks after that. Of course, they wouldn't be evicted for a late payment, but they needed to set a cadence, stick to a monthly budget, and start putting away some savings. Tony rationed out the funds in his mind. Groceries, gas, Chris' birthday. He decided to set aside a hundred dollars for everyone to buy each other Christmas presents. "We can only afford to spend fifteen dollars on Christmas decorations," he said.

"Ooh, let's check there, Bobby!" Angela cried, slamming on the brake pedal and pointing at a tree lot. There was a banner advertising Christmas trees from ten dollars.

"Clutch, Jess, clutch!" he yelped before she nearly stalled out.

"Sorry, honey." They parked and quickly walked the perimeter of the lot.

"What do you have that's cheap?" Tony asked.

"This one's fifteen bucks," the attendant said, pointing to a five-footer with a massive bare patch.

"I'll give you twelve."

"You need a stand? How about fifteen, but I'll throw one in?"

"Deal." While the attendant bound the tree branches, Tony moved their groceries to the foot well and pushed down the back seat, allowing the tree to fit easily with bottles of bleach and boxes of laundry detergent on either side. He coached Angela through backing out of the spot. "Pull the collar up, then push hard to the left and forward."

"I've got it now, Bobby," Angela said, as she smoothly backed out and shifted into first. The drive home was unremarkable, just as she had indicated.

The kids unloaded and put away the groceries. Then Tony started to pull the paper grocery bags apart at the seams. He had surreptitiously taken some extras from the store. "What are you doing, Dad?" Jonathan asked.

"I'm flattening out these bags to make wrapping paper."

"Why don't we just buy some?" Sam asked.

"We don't have the money to buy something that's just going to be wadded up and thrown away. You're lucky we found a cheap tree."

"What are we supposed to decorate it with? We don't have any lights or ornaments."

"We'll string popcorn and cranberries, Jen. Just like we used to," Tony said, referring to their unspoken past life in Brooklyn.

Sam groaned. "Can I go next door and see what Natalie is up to?"

"Sure. Bring the casserole dish back, while you're at it."

"Thanks, Dad!"

Two hours later, Angela went next door. "Hi Linda. I'm looking for my daughter. Is Jen here?"

"Hi Jess. She's upstairs listening to music with Natalie. Come on in," Linda said, sweeping her front door wide open. "Jen says you don't have any Christmas decorations," she said with concern.

"We had some water damage at the old house and had to throw a lot of things out," Angela explained. "Cash will be tight until we start bringing in paychecks."

"Why don't you borrow some of ours? We have a couple of boxes full of decorations we're not using this year."

"That's so kind of you. We appreciate it," Angela responded. She wasn't accustomed to accepting this kind of help, but her family could use it.

"Natalie! Jen's mom is here. It's time for her to go home," Linda called up the stairs. Sam and an auburn-haired girl appeared.

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Moretti. Welcome to the neighborhood," the girl said to Angela. "Can Jen come play tennis with me and my friends tomorrow?"

"Oh, that's a great idea," Linda chimed in. "She can use Patrick's old racquet if she doesn't have one."

"Thank you. I'll have to talk to her dad about it," Angela said out of habit. Then, remembering that Jess was empowered to make decisions for both of her children, she relented. "Actually, yes, that will be fine."

"Awesome! We're meeting at the high school at 3pm. I'll come over about a quarter-till and we can walk together," Natalie told Sam.

Angela and Sam carried a box of multi-colored lights and a box of ornaments, mostly red and silver balls, back to their house. After the kids untangled the lights, they strung them around the pitiful tree and started hanging ornaments. Mona made a star from cardboard and aluminum foil. Meanwhile, Tony made meatloaf and glazed carrots, working side-by-side with Angela, who prepared the salad.

All through dinner, the mood was somber and uncertain, despite everyone's attempts to make the most of their situation. They all missed Connecticut, and they couldn't even reminisce about good times and holidays past. Sam volunteered to clear the table, with Mona close on her heels. "Let me help, kiddo," she said.

"Thanks, Grandma." As Mona rinsed, Sam loaded the dishwasher. "I miss Grandpa," she said quietly.

"I do, too, Jen. I know it's not the same…."

"You lost your husband," Sam interjected, making it clear that she wasn't exactly talking about Nick, but about the concept of grief. "You understand."

"Yes."

"It sucks that we can't visit his grave anymore." Sam had never been to Nick's grave, which was, not coincidentally, near her own bogus marker. She had rarely even been to her mother's grave. Mona knew what she was getting at, though.

"The physical evidence that someone lived doesn't matter nearly as much as the memories we carry of them."

"I don't want to forget. What if I forget?"

"Your dad won't let that happen."

"Do you think we'll ever go back to Ohio?"

"Yes, baby, of course we will. Until then, we have to make our own Ohio, here in Arizona."

After the kids went to bed, the adults gathered on the sectional for conversation and tea. "We have to find a way to talk about home," Mona said.

"Cassie, did you and Jen talk about home?" Tony asked cautiously.

"Kind of. She misses Ohio and she's sad that we can't go to her grandpa's grave anymore."

"I see," he answered. "Let me think."

"What if we told stories? About Ohio. Jen is old enough, and I think Chris might catch on if we give him enough examples," Angela suggested.

"That's a good idea, Jess. We should probably refresh each other's memories about our lives in Ohio, anyway," Tony agreed.

"I'm going to turn in. I stayed out way too late last night," Mona complained.

"Good night, Mom."

"Night, Cassie."

After Mona closed the door to her suite, Angela turned to Tony. "What a day it's been! Did you want to go to bed, or stay down here for a while?"

"Let's watch some TV," he answered, grabbing the remote and leaning back with his arm over the couch. Angela settled into her spot at his side, as if they were snapped together by magnets. "Nothing is really on," he said after a spin around the available channels.

"Do you think we're going to be happy here, Bobby?"

Tony was startled by Angela's breathy tone. "I know we will, Jess," he responded, caressing her cheek. They hovered close enough to breathe the same air for a minute, then he grazed her lips. Pulling back, he promised, "I'd do anything to make sure of it."

Suddenly, she was in his lap. "I knew I chose the right man," she said. Tony was confused. Was Angela talking about hiring him? Or was Jess talking about marrying Bobby? Either way, he thought, she was wrong.