Summary: Motorcycles! Motorcycles! Ryan's mad kingdom for some motorcycles! (Also Gavin says you're welcome.)
Chapter 10
"Does everybody remember their code names?"
"Uh…" Ryan scowled as the gang tried to remember their names
"I think the question is will everyone remember each other's," Michael pointed out.
"They were all pretty much gibberish," Jack muttered to Geoff who groaned and buried his face in his hands. He found himself doing that constantly lately.
Ryan shook his head. "Doesn't matter. Let's load up and I'll show you the parking garage that Ray will be waiting on."
The Fake AH Crew left the apartment, grabbing booze or bong as they left. Gavin immediately jumped on top of Michael's chrome car as Michael himself walked off to his garage around the corner to retrieve the AH Mobile. Geoff and Ryan practiced sliding across the car hood in sync for some unknown reason until Jack and Ray caught on and attempted to do it as well. Eventually Gavin got tired of that and started smashing the hood of the car with his heel. Ryan, always a fan of destruction, pulled a crowbar from his jacket and set about cheerfully trashing Michael's car.
"I hear our ride," Ryan said as the Tchaikovsky horn sounded.
"GET OFF MY CAR!" Michael shouted.
The Fake AH Crew piled in/on Michael's car and took off through the darkened early morning streets of Los Santos. Following Ryan's careful instructions, they turned and went under the overpass heading straight for the—
"MY FACE!"
Geoff whipped his head around towards Gavin's screech as Michael slammed on the breaks, which proved to be a bad decision as Geoff endured a painful sideways bout of whiplash. There was a small streak of blood on the window and a conspicuously empty space beyond that that had been occupied previously by Gavin's body. The Brit himself was stumbling to his feet some feet behind them, having knocked up against the wall of the underpass and flown off the car.
"It wouldn't be a heist if Gavin didn't have a car mishap," Ryan said dryly as Gavin limped back toward them.
"I left some of my head blood on that wall I think," he said, swaying as he jumped back into his spot on the car. "I feel funny."
"You're fine," Ryan said dismissively. "Let's go Michael."
They moved on to the parking garage, Ryan pointing out the ramp and where Ray and the bikes would be positioned. Ray jumped out briefly and stashed his bag with his sniper rifle and other weapons in a secure spot on the roof before getting back in. In that brief time, Michael managed to run over a lady that Gavin had pronounced attractive, Gavin stole her money, Geoff "accidently" shot Gavin in the Kevlar vest, and Gavin responded by swinging at Geoff, missing, and breaking the window into Ryan's crotch.
Ray was only gone thirty seconds, for the record.
After the chaos evaporated, Ryan directed them around the corner to the subway station.
"So this is the subway station," Ryan said. "When we get down there, Ray will go left in the tube and me and Jack will go right and meet up at the end."
Geoff popped his door and leaned out, fixing the location in his mind. Michael reversed suddenly, jolting Geoff and knocking him against the car door. Geoff turned around to shout at Michael when a strange metallic sound brought him up short. It sounded very much like a metal ball rolling and bouncing under the car…except Geoff didn't have metal balls…
"BAIL OUT!" Geoff shouted. "GET OUT OF THE CAR NOW!"
The AH Crew didn't ask questions for once and someone watching from the outside may have found it comical to see six full grown men leap out of a car like they had been launched from canons. What ended the comedy was the huge explosion as the AH Mobile went up in flames and smoke.
The gang got to their feet, soot streaked and ruffled from the blast as civilians screamed and ran. There was no damage other than the car, thank God, but Michael didn't seem relieved
"GEOFF!" Michael screamed, turning from the twisted ruin of his car and rounding on their leader.
Geoff held up the grenade pin that was caught on his coat pocket and stared at in nonplussed. "What happened?'' he said weakly.
"You almost killed everyone!" Michael screamed.
"We're not even ten minutes in and Geoff is wormsing it!" Ray added, getting to his feet and brushing soot from his white mask, which wasn't so white anymore.
Geoff couldn't help it: he started laughing hysterically, much to the ire of his companions. It wasn't funny, but it was at the same time. They literally couldn't ever really do anything right could they?
"Well…" Ryan said as they observed the fireball that had been their car, "I guess we should just go find motorcycles now."
"Um…" Jack said, stopping halfway through a crosswalk and staring at a body in the street. It was a very large man in a bright red shirt. "Guys, Fat Albert is in the street."
"Yeah…" Ryan said in his ear. "He uh….he didn't like it that we took his car." He explained, turning said car onto the freeway.
Jack shook his head before heading towards the airport on foot to steal a cargobob. Only Ryan would shoot a guy for being upset at their attempted grand theft auto. Well that's not true, Ray would too…and Gavin…and Michael…and Geoff.
Sirens were close at hand behind Ray and Ryan, although so far Ryan was masterfully evading. Ray stared out the window nervously, rethinking his decision to hitch a ride with the Mad King.
"Oh hey my car's over there!" Ray said as they rode over where Ray had parked his car. Without further ado, he popped the door and leaped out. "You're on your own!" he shouted to Ryan before tucking and rolling. Getting to his feet he ran across the overpass and vaulted over the railing with a shout of "Geronimo."
Ryan shook his head.
"Ryan," Geoff asked, driving carefully and keeping his eyes peeled for an armored truck. "Refresh my memory-how do you and I get on the roof with Ray?"
Ran sighed. "After we have cornered the armored truck, we drive straight there."
"Right," Geoff said. "Can I ride with you?"
"Depends," Ryan said sarcastically. "Are you going to blow us up?"
Geoff scowled even though Ryan couldn't see it. "No! I'm not you, I don't blow everyone up."
"YOU JUST DID!" Michael shrieked, making everyone wince and making Geoff instinctively yank out his ear pierce in pain.
Geoff replaced his ear piece. "Yeah but it was only that one time!" he argued.
"What happened there Geoff?" Gavin asked, immediately followed by a ton of cursing as he crashed into a telephone pole and spun out in his stolen vehicle. Geoff waited until he heard Gavin's engine rev again before he answered.
"I leaned out of the door to mark the subway in my mental map," Geoff explained. "Michael backed up and jolted me against the door. One of my grenades fell, but the pin snagged on my coat and it bounced."
"You dumb shit," Michael said with a laugh.
Geoff growled. "Yeah well then I thought 'Did that go under the car?' Decided it was better to bail than blow up."
Everyone grumbled a bit before resuming the task at hand, which was proving surprisingly tricky. Contrary to Ryan's assurances that the set up for this heist would be easy, it appeared that everyone in Los Santos who had a motorcycle for them to steal had moved far away. Or had hidden them. Maybe they were just unlucky.
Geoff sighed, equally frustrated by the lack of armored trucks. "Let's go ahead and get masks. I'll see you guys at the mask store."
"I'll drive there as well," Michael said, executing a sharp U-turn and flipping the bird to everyone who objected by car horn.
The sound of chopper blades starting up echoed in the gang's ears. "I'm helicoptering in to the mask shop," Jack said cheerfully.
"You're helicoptering into the mask shop." Ryan repeated, pulling up in front of said mask shop. He looked up and sure enough a helicopter zoomed in over his head and started to land on the beach. "Subtle."
"A bunch of guys in a helicopter came by and bought some death masks," Geoff said, sarcastically impersonating a store clerk.
"Nothing strange about that," Jack joined in, hopping out of the cargobob.
"They seemed like good guys," Michael added.
The Crew met at the mask store and browsed through the merchandise. At this point, the clerk knew them pretty well, to which Geoff considered that it might be time to do away with that particular witness. Another problem for another day.
"Ooh skull hockey is pretty cool," Jack said, holding up a slightly creepy hockey mask.
"Oh how about tourist hockey!" Geoff said excitedly, turning to show Ryan. The mask was bright blue, but you could barely tell for the number of stickers that covered it. It looked like a Loss Santos themed postcard threw up all over it. "They'll think we're tourists!"
Ryan examined the mask and got that crazy gleam in his eye. "Yes."
"Jesus Christ," Michael said as he grabbed the mask.
At first glance, Ryan's plan seemed easy enough: steal motorcycles, find an armored truck, pick it up, get the money, run down the subway, rob the store, and escape on boats. The jet skis were in place and….that was the only thing in place.
Jack picked up Gavin and Michael in the cargobob and flew them all up north to search for motorcycles. Geoff, Ryan and Ray followed and despite driving through what remained of the night and a good part of the early morning, they had yet to find a motorcycle. At one point, Gavin parachuted out of the chopper (and nearly hit the chopper blades) when he realized he had left all of his ammo behind in Michael's apartment. After nearly being decapitated, he managed to get to Ammunation and buy ammo, miraculously not dying in the attempt. Jack focused all of his energy on trying not to kill Gavin for idiocy.
"If you were riding a motorcycle," Ryan said to himself, peering hopefully through his windshield as he explored the streets, "Where would you be?"
"In my mid-forties," Jack replied instantly.
"Oh that was funny," Geoff said appreciatively. "That—OH! Motorcycle!" The gang cheered as Geoff pulled over, yanked the guy off of the Sanchez that was stopped on the highway, and proceeded to drive off with it. "Hey another one here too," he said as another cyclist zoomed past him.
Jack turned the helicopter and flew towards the GPS ping that was Geoff's earpiece receiver. Unfortunately for Geoff, the second motorcyclist did not want to give up his bike and in a moment of frustration, Geoff shot him off the bike. It wasn't long before Geoff was making a wild escape down the side of a mountain to evade the police. He was thrown from the bike once and nearly lost it as it continued to roll downhill without him while he climbed a tree to hide from the cops. Luckily, Ryan had caught up to Geoff and followed the whole chase in his car. He drove off road to retrieve the bike. Geoff got back on and he and Ryan drove it to the parking garage before resuming their hunt for the armored car.
Gavin, who had stolen a car and was attempting to rendezvous with the helicopter, came upon two motorcyclist and slammed into both of them knocking the men off their bikes. "I got a bike!" Gavin said, jumping out his car and onto one of the bikes, a Hog. "I got…uh-oh." He looked up and saw the Hog's owner sprinting towards him, a knife in his hand and blood running down his face. "Oh he is pissed. Let me just get out of here."
"Don't run away, shoot him!" Ryan exclaimed.
Gavin sped off, ignoring Ryan's advice. "Short cut!" he exclaimed before gunning the engine and shooting off of the highway and into the hills.
"So far the plan hasn't really panned out," Ryan said wearily as more timed passed without a further bike sighting. It was frustrating for him—the plan had seemed so simple, but it was nearly noon and they still hadn't started the actual job.
"We have two bikes," Michael said encouragingly.
"Do we though?" Ryan asked bitterly, having not heard anything out of Gavin for a while. Or Ray for that matter. "Does Gavin still have his?"
"Yes!" Gavin said, offended. His teeth clattered as he bounced and shuddered his way over the rough terrain of Mount Chiliad. He looked left and right and broke out into a nervous sweat as he saw nothing but sky on either side of him. "Um…I am up a mountain with it though." The tires slid a bit as he passed over a particularly narrow part of the mountain. "Michael," he said nervously, taking a moment to confide in his friend. "I'm a bit scared."
Michael leaned out as they passed over the small dot that was Gavin while he attempted to climb a mountain on a bike. "Yeah dude, you're fucked," he said unsympathetically.
"Found one!" Ray shouted out of nowhere before the sound of crunching metal rang out. Ray jumped out of his car and took the bike, ignoring the smear of blood and guts that had been the bike's previous owner.
"All right!" Ryan exclaimed. "We have three bikes."
"Um, I don't know about that," Michael said as Gavin crested the top of the mountain and began his descent on the other side. "I think we're about to lose Gavin's."
"Well on the plus side, it's nice up here," Gavin said. "I feel like I am one with nature. Coming down!" Gavin revved the engine once more and went flying down the mountain. This was immediately followed by a series of yelps, squawks, groans, and expletives as Gavin crashed his way down the mountain, not just once, but twice. Somehow the bike was still operable as he approached the river at the bottom, bleeding profusely on top of the severely battered motorcycle.
"Guys," Gavin said, wiping blood from his face. "I'm not sure if we should use this bike—it's a death trap!"
"Why don't you just pick it up and fly it back here?" Ryan said to Jack as he turned onto the highway close behind Geoff, still in pursuit of an armored truck.
"Yeah let's do that," Jack said, turning the chopper and starting to descend as Gavin contemplated the river.
"Michael, do you think I can cross this river?" he asked.
"The river!" Ray sang out, which immediately caused Jack and Ryan to join Ray in a rendition of Tom Sawyer by Rush, complete with acapella background music. Somewhere in the world Geddy Lee was surely killing himself over how bad it was.
Everyone heard a loud splash followed by Gavin's strangled yell. "Did you make it?" Michael asked as Jack swung the helicopter into view. Gavin stood submerged waist high in the river, laughing hysterically. Handlebars poked up out of the water next to him.
"Is it in the river?" Jack yelled, fed up.
"God you suck!" Ray shouted at Gavin who continued to laugh.
Michael growled but also had to admit it was kinda funny to see Gavin standing in the river by what remained of his bike. "Jack, we're like the fucking coast guard. Lower me in and I'll save it!"
Michael very carefully grabbed the rope that held the hook and lowered himself out of the helicopter. He rested both feet on the giant hook itself and held onto the rope for dear life. They were a mere 10, maybe15 feet above the river so even if Michael fell, he'd escape relatively unhurt thanks to the water below...he hoped. He took a deep breath and signaled to Jack that it was safe to lower him and the hook downward. Michael did not relax his grip as he swung wildly above the rushing water for a moment while Jack waited to make sure he was ok.
"Let me down!" he yelled to Jack who complied. Michael watched as the water got closer and closer as he went down with the hook. When he was a mere foot away, he jumped off of the hook and kept his grip on the rope, splashing down into the river beside Gavin. It was the work of a minute to secure the bike and he signaled Jack to lift him, the bike, and Gavin back into the chopper.
"If it was under water it's dead," Ryan pointed out as the bike lifted from the river.
"Well we can run it through the drive through," Gain said, incorrectly referring to the express repair shop.
"French fries will not fix this problem, Gavin," Ryan said exasperatedly.
"Well you are the Frylord," Ray pointed out.
"I don't think this bike will work," Jack said as they headed for town.
"Well if I see another bike-ooh like this!"
"Gavin no!" Jack yelled as Gavin jumped out of the chopper yet again and deployed his parachute. "God damn it!"
"Armored truck!" Geoff shouted suddenly. "Armored truck! Armored truck!"
"Ok guys, we got an armored truck!" Ryan said as he and Geoff pulled alongside the target.
"We lost Gavin!" Jack shouted.
"I found another bike," Gavin explained as he stole said bike from its owner and zoomed off towards town.
"Should we follow you or get Gavin?" Jack asked Ryan.
"Get Gavin and take the bike to the top of the parking garage," Ryan instructed, "then come back to us."
"Ooh," Gavin said excitedly in everyone's ear. "Do we need a cement truck?"
"Shut up!" Geoff roared.
After several more mishaps, Jack managed to rendezvous with Gavin and the bike and pick both of them up, Ryan and Geoff managed to keep the armored truck in their sights, and Ray manage to look really cool while chilling on top of the parking garage.
Gavin grinned as Jack picked up the last bike and they masked up. "You're welcome everyone!" he chirped.
"What would we fucking do without you?" Ray snapped back.
"Probably complete the heist," Michael answered, punching Gavin in the arm. "Let's fucking do this already."
End Chapter
Author's Note: For reality purposes I have modified the cargobob in this story. Instead of having a dangly hook that magically attaches to and picks up stuff, the cargobob instead has a hook that is lowered from the side opening of the helicopter, specifically from the top. This allows people like Michael to grab the rope and go down with the hook to attach it to things. Just think of the coast guard like Michael suggests and you're close!