"I must thank you again for accepting this invitation Blitzy!" Stolas giddily exclaimed for, by Blitzø's count, the fourth time as he paced in place like an excited schoolgirl.
Blitzø rolled his eyes at the display "Yeah, yeah, just remember that I'm only here cause I was promised food."
Truth be told, Blitzø himself didn't know why he had accepted Stolas's invitation, the Imp figured he must still feel guilty about the "date" he had taken Stolas on to Ozzie's.
"Yeah… that's it." The Imp thought, barely even able to convince himself.
"Well, I do hope that can enjoy the company too." Stolas said, "I believe you and Eda may get along well."
Blitzø tried to remember who that was, he was pretty sure it was the historian lady Stolas mentioned once, "Uh yeah probably," he quickly answered, "let's just get this over with."
"All right then." and with a wave of his hand, Stolas opened a portal to the Noceda residence.
"Oh there here!" was the first thing Blitzø heard as he and Stolas exited the portal, greeted by a human and a pair of Witches, which Blitzø would have recognized as Camila, Eda, and Raine if he had remembered their names from when Stolas had told him.
"I hope we're not late." Stolas said.
"Oh, it's alright. Why don't you introduce us Stolas?" Camila suggested, with Blitzø recognizing the voice as the one that had greeted them.
"Ehm, this is Blitzø Buckzo my…" Stolas trailed off as he struggled to put his and Blitzø's relationship into public-friendly terms, something that the Imp in question was all too willing to take advantage of, smiling as he said.
"Fuckbu-"
"Concubine!" Stolas finished with a nervous smile.
Camila's cheeks held an awkward blush as Eda smiled at the display, leaning over to Raine and whispering (heh) to them, "I like this guy."
"Of course you do." they whispered back, in a tone that said they were disappointed in Eda but wouldn't want her any other way.
Eda walked up the Imp "Eda Clawthorne." She greeted holding out her hand which Blitzø happily shook.
"Raine Whispers." the bard introduced themselves "So you're this Blitz we've heard of?"
"Yep, that's my name, don't wear it out!" Blitzø cheerily said with a laugh before adding on "And you better be saying that with the O." the Imp somewhat harshly demanded leading Raine to shoot him a questioning glance.
"Isn't it silent?"
"Yes, but it's still fucking there." Blitzø muttered under his breath.
Raine just shrugged their shoulders in understanding "Fair enough."
"And I'm Camila Noceda." Camila finished with a smile "I'll be tagging along. I figured you all may need a Human Realm guide."
Eda let out a little laugh "Yeah, these three maybe Cammy, but I've been traveling here long enough to be a Human Realm expert."
"Didn't you get into a fight with a raven last week?" Camila questioned with a playful smile on her face.
"I told you that little gremlin scammed out of twenty snails!"
"I don't think just snatching the money out of your hand counts as a scam."
The group all had a laugh at Eda's expense before Blitzø asked "So, human realm expert, where are we going to be eating anyway?"
"We're going to this nice little café I've been to before." Eda explained, "Luz finally managed to convince the owner to unban me."
"Why were you banned?" Blitzø questioned.
"Currency dispute."
Before he could question Eda further, the Imp felt his stomach growl "Uh I hate to be pushy," that was a lie, Blitzø loves being pushy, "but can we head on out to the food now?"
Camila nodded in agreement "Of course, just needed you all to put onyour disguises."
"Alrighty then," Blitzø said as he pulled a pair of large foam ears out of his jacket "I'm gonna need some help putting the big ears on." the Imp held out the ears waiting for a volunteer, only for Raine to push them away.
"Oh, that won't be necessary."
"…But I like my big ears." Blitzø pouted.
Raine handed the Imp a bracelet with a small green gem attached to it "This is a concealment stone. While you wear it, you'll look just like a human."
Blitzø slipped the bracelet on, and (with a puff of smoke) the Imp was instantly transformed into a human.
"Oh my." Stolas gasped with a hint of blush painting his face.
"What? What do I look like?" Blitzø questioned and Raine quickly led him to a nearby mirror.
Within its reflection, Blitzø was greeted by the image of a human wearing his clothes, with brown slicked-back hair with a streak of white in it and a face that reminded Blitzø of that Brennon Ragers guy that all those idiots back in LA had thought he was, although this one still had his burn scar.
"Huh, not half bad." Blitzø complimented.
"Just remember it's only concealing your true form not changing it." Raine explained, demonstrating by poking where Blitzø's horns should be with their finger clearly being stopped by something invisible, "So still be careful about where your tail and horns are."
Blitzø let out a hum of understanding, as Raine handed another bracelet to Eda and put one on themselves, with the pair's pointed Witch ears transforming into round human ones.
And I'm a flash of light, Stolas turned into his human form that Blitzø totally didn't find hot at all. "Besides Stolas looks better as a bird anyway. Not that I care about that." the Imp thought to himself, unaware that a literal world away a certain Witch was just hit by the strangest sense of déjà vu.
With everyone ready, Camila motioned to the door "Well let's go."
It was a short walk to Gravesfield's shopping district, with the group stopping at a small shop attached to the strip with two sets of tables on either side of the door, peering up Blitzø could see the sign read "Robin's Roast Café".
"Suppose I've ate at worse places." the Imp muttered to himself as the group entered.
"Hi welcome to the Robin's Roast Café-" the hostess happily greeted the group before her eyes fell on Eda "Marilyn." her customer service voice vanished to be replaced by a near growl.
"Hiiiii!" Eda sang out.
The hostess leaned over to Camila "And you promise that she doesn't have any raccoons or other vermin on her?"
"I checked before we left."
"Not that it was needed!" Eda dryly interrupted.
"And she won't bring any of the pasties to life this time?"
"We'll make sure she doesn't."
The hostess stared at Eda, who was currently whistling innocently, still somewhat unconvinced "I'll get you some water to start with." she said before walking off.
"You guys are lucky the food here is good, 'cause ya'll are boring!" Eda cried out as the hostess left, and Stolas stared at the Witch.
"You said you were banned for a Currency dispute?"
"That was one of the reasons why." Eda defensively answered, earning her a loving eye roll from Raine.
In a short while, the hostess returned with the water alongside the menus, and the group silently read through them. After a few moments more Camila decided to break the ice "So, Blitzø, what do you do for a living?" she asked before bravely deciding to take a sip of her drink before hearing the answer.
"Kill people." The Imp bluntly answered.
Camila nearly choked on her drink at the Imp's answer "WHAT!?"
"Yep, you're looking at the first Imp to run his own assassination business for Sinners." Blitzø proudly declared. "We at I.M.P. help the damned get payback on all the fuckers who screwed them over in life." the Imp ran through his usual business spiel, oblivious of Camila's horrified expression, "I have a little commercial I can show you that explains it all." Blitzø said as he pulled out his phone to bring up the video.
"Oh no no no. Thank you, but I think I get the idea." Camila waved away the phone.
"So, you're a hitman huh?" Eda noted with keen interest "I've taken a bounty or two in the past, but how's full-time?"
"Oh, it's great!" Blitzø happily explained "Just the three of us, blastin' idiots' heads off. Best part is, since we're the only business that can access the human world, we get to charge whatever the fuck we want!"
"That sounds…" Camila tried her best to not imagine the Imp brutality murdering helpless people "lovely."
"Not all the time." Blitzø continued "I had to deal with some stupid goats and bigoted penguins recently."
Raine raised an eyebrow "What were these penguins bigoted against?" they questioned, although they weren't quite sure what a penguin was.
"Everything." Blitzø answered in a low monotone as he stared into the distance "But I killed them so all's okay."
"Wait were the 'stupid goats' targets too?" Camila questioned, "Why would you take money from someone who just wants to pointlessly kill goats?"
"Hey, I'm not going to act all high and mighty and judge why my clients want people killed." Blitzø shot back "Besides the people I'm hired to kill are usually assholes that end up in Hell afterwards."
Camila judgingly stared down Blitzø "So, you just kill anyone without questioning it?"
Blitzø began to feel a twitch in his eyelid "I don't just take every job." he defensively answered, "Like I rejected the guy who wanted me to kill Stolas's little human friend."
Camila's jaw dropped as the rest of the group stared at the Imp with various expressions of shock and anger painting their faces.
"Wait, someone wanted you to kill Luz?" Raine questioned.
"Blitzø why did you never tell me this!?" the Demon Prince's fury quite evident.
Blitzø rolled his eyes as he answered "What? It's not important, handed that fucker after he tried to kill me." only to realize a second too late he probably should have kept his mouth shut as Stolas's feathers flared up.
"THEY TRIED TO KILL YOU!?"
Blitzø felt a bead of sweat run down his brow "Yes, but I totally handed it." the Imp decided to leave out the exact specifics of how he had survived the attack.
"I'm guessing you killed them?" Raine questioned.
"Technically."
"…What?" Camila muttered out with growing anger.
"Well, my receptionist bashed their brains in, and we dropped the body off at the nearest strip club." Blitzø explained.
"Ignoring the second part of that, it sounds like the death wasn't very technical." Raine noted.
"Oh yeah they were dead at the time, but Sinners just pop back up after a while."
The mortals of the group took a moment to process the fact that the most terrible people to have ever existed were functionally immortal, mostly by just repressing the fact.
"Well, who was the client?" Eda asked as she cracked her knuckles "I'd like to have a few words with them."
Blitzø could only respond with a shrug of his shoulders "I dunno."
The group all swore Camila looked ready to fight God himself as she grabbed Blitzø collar and pulled him over the table, screaming into the Imp's ears "What do you mean, 'I dunno'!?"
"I don't remember the client's name." the Imp managed to croak out just before Raine pried Camila off him.
"Didn't you say they tried to kill you?" the bard questioned "I feel that would be pretty hard to forget."
"My clients are Sinners damned to hell." Blitzø bluntly explained, "I'm more surprised when they don't try to kill me."
"…Fair enough."
Unsurprising Camila didn't accept this answer, muttering various curses in both English and Spanish all aimed towards the Imp. And equally unsurprising, the Imp didn't the hint to shut up and tried to explain himself.
"Look I get it, you're worried they'll hurt your little Lose-"
"Luz." Camila growled out the correction.
"Whatever. I'm a parent too I understand." Blitzø continued "But odds are if that wack job wasn't killed during the last exorcism, they're too busy trying to get by in Hell to be thinking about your daughter." he flagrantly explained "Besides, they're in Hell! You know the one place designed to keep the worst of you humans locked up."
Of course, this did little to appease Camila's anger, who was currently debating how good of a rug Blitzø would be, as she glared daggers into the Imp's soul.
"Camila let me apologize for Blitzø," Stolas interjected, ignoring the offended glare from the Imp, "I'll personally look into this and make sure whoever this is won't be a problem anymore."
Luckily for Blitzø, this seemed to calm down Camila "Thank you Stolas."
The rest of the lunch continue uneventfully, although notably the group was much less interested in speaking with Blitzø.
"See you soon Camila." Stolas said as he and Blitzø stepped though a portal to the Imp's apartment, the Prince holding his cheery demeanor until the portal closed. Once it did, Stolas glared down at the Imp "Blitzø I can't believe you embarrassed me like that."
"Hey, you've been fucking me for long enough to know what I'm about." Blitzø defended himself.
"Well, I hoped you would have enough tack to not tell a mother that you were hired to kill her daughter!" Stolas fired back.
"I didn't take the job!"
"That's not the point!"
Stolas wanted to scream some more, but quickly realized he was accomplishing nothing. "You said your Employees are running things while you're off today, right?" Stolas asked.
"Yeah." Blitzø answered without looking at the prince.
"So, Loona is still at your office, correct?"
"Yeah, why?" Blitzø glanced at Stolas to see him opening another portal "Hey! Where the fuck are you going!?"
"To fix the mess you made." the Prince said as he stepped through the portal.
Appearing in the I.M.P. offices, Stolas found Loona in her usual spot, sitting at the receptionist's desk while boredly scrolling on her phone.
"What do you need you-" the Hellhound began in her usually demeanor, only to change her tone as she looked up "You- your majesty!? W- what are you doing here?"
"Can I you something, Loona dear?" Stolas questioned receiving a simple nod in response "I was just wondering if I could get the file on a previous client of yours."
"Uh sure, what's their name." the Hellhound asked.
"I actually don't know the name." Stolas explained as he pulled his phone out "Blitzø said you all never took the job, and she was meant to be the target." he turned the phone towards Loona to show her a picture of Luz.
"Oh, if we never took the job then I can't help." Loona apologized "We throw out all info about those clients."
"I see," Stolas near growled out, before catching himself as he finished, "thank you for the help anyway." and teleported away.
Arriving back at his manor, Stolas slumped down in his sitting chair trying to not worry about the Sinner out to kill Luz. After a few minutes of worrying, Stolas let out a pained sigh "Maybe Blitzø is right." the Prince thought "No Sinner has ever escaped Hell before."
The prince could only hope.
Meanwhile in the streets of Pentagram City, a certain goopy Sinner slinked out of the No Regrets strip club, with a little more of his dignity shattered. Belos glared down at his meager pay in hand, as much as he hated to admit it Blitzø's dumping of him at one of these establishments proved to be a blessing in disguise. The Sinners of Hell found his new form to be quite Intriguing and in Hell having money was much preferred to dignity.
"Damn that slimy Imp." Belos muttered an often-repeated curse to himself "Damn them all."
"Hey you!" a voice called out "Can I get you for a sec?"
Belos looked toward the voice, spotting a silhouette standing in the shadows of a nearby alley. "I'm off the clock." Belos snarled at the stranger "You'll have to get your…" he paused as if struggling to not throw up "desires fulfilled from someone else."
"Oh, I'm not interested in that…" and with a grin, the stranger finished with a name Belos had not heard in a long while "Wittebane."
Belos stopped in his tracks and looked back "How do you know that name?" he cautiously asked.
"Oh, I know a lot of stuff." "Evelyn; the Witch that stole your brother, Belos; the name you went by for a long ass time, Luz; the human that killed ya." the stranger listed off, each fact listed off gaining him more and more of Belos's interest.
"What's your game?"
The stranger laughed as he stared upwards "You're not the only one who's gotten screwed out of their spot upstairs. And I intend to do something about it." he looked back at Belos "What about you?"
Belos quickly realized what the stranger was getting at and asked one final question "Who are you?"
The stranger stepped out of the shadows, revealing a Sinner with a pair of long curved horns and bat-like wings, and wearing a large dress-like cloak "The name's Adam." he said, the image on his mask-like face glitching out with every word he spoke, "And I think we're going to be good friends Philly."