Summary: Jackie Chan is not featured in this chapter in any way, shape, or form.

Chapter 29

Burnie was sweating buckets as he stepped into Matt's office, a fact he was sure would not be lost on Matt. He wasn't at all confident in the choice he had made to let the Crew go, but in the end a choice wasn't something he really had. If anyone else but Ryan had the gun on him, he may have risked an escape attempt, but Ryan was not the Mad King for nothing. He was just crazy enough to pull the trigger if Burnie had so much as moved.

Matt turned from his computer and looked over the rims of his glasses at Burnie. "Is it done?" he asked casually, far too casually for a man who was asking if five people had been successfully murdered.

Burnie looked at Matt, an unassuming man in glasses, a nerdy T-shirt with definitely a definite tired parent look about him. In that moment he hated him. Burnie hated how casually he played with the lives of everyone in the Syndicate. He hated how Matt had turned this company that Burnie had created into a vehicle for crime and misdeeds. He hated how Matt had everyone by the throat and sworn to the Syndicate while he acted like they had a choice.

Crime was the Los Santos disease. Burnie had thought they were above it. Had he known Matt disagreed, Burnie never would have let him have control.

His thoughts must have shown on his face because Matt turned fully away from his computer and looked at Burnie with a puzzled expression. "What happened?"

"You did," Burnie said darkly.

Matt's brow furrowed. "What?"

"How did we get here Matt?" Burnie demanded. "We started off to make funny videos and build up this community of nerds. We started recording lines for Red vs. Blue in a closet and using apartments as offices to make sketch videos and game playthroughs. We built one of the best damn communities on the internet and had the most loyal employees any company would ask for. Now each of our endeavors is a front for burglary or drugs or international smuggling. We're split into people who like the crime and people who know they face injury or worse if they back out. Why?" Matt didn't answer. "What's it all for Matt? Why did we sink as low as every other sorry ass business in Los Santos?"

Matt sighed and removed his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "So you didn't take care of the Crew."

"No," Burnie snarled.

"Why?"

"Because I won't kill my friends," Burnie said firmly. "Any of them. And I won't leave Geoff to die in prison."

"Not much of a choice there," Matt pointed out. "Thanks to the money sink they have created I can't pay his way out, even if I wanted to." That was a lie and Burnie knew it.

"The Crew is going to break him out," Burnie said.

That caught Matt off guard. "It's impossible."

"Not for them," Burnie said. "They have been known to pull off the impossible. Escaping from a crashing plane for example."

Matt sighed again. "I understand having faith in your friends and colleagues but don't you think you are over estimating them?" Burnie shrugged. "Even if they pull off this miracle, once they break out they will be on the run. They won't be of any use to us."

"They'll be alive," Burnie said. "I can live with that. And you are going to help them if they break out. You will pay off whoever you have to ensure that once Geoff is out none of them go back. Ryan and I have taken care of evidence. You just need to provide the funds."

"Evidence?" Matt asked.

Burnie grinned at that. "Simeon is about to have a very bad day."

Matt rolled his eyes. "Simeon is a dick." He frowned and thought Burnie's words over for a minute.

"I ordered them dead," Matt snapped finally. "Why would I help them?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Burnie said, leaning forward and bracing himself on Matt's desk so they were directly eye level. A tense moment passed between the two men and Burnie inside was close to losing his shit. But eventually Matt turned away. Matt may have been their leader, but they would be nothing without Burnie. They would crumble from within without him and everyone at Rooster Teeth knew it.

"I will not help them,"' Matt said. "But I won't stop you. I'm not stupid enough to kill you."

"This isn't over Matt," Burnie said, shoving away from the desk.

"We'll see," Matt muttered as Burnie left.

"We just walked out in style!" Michael crowed excitedly as the Crew left their warehouse and spilled out into the street. It was true. They had slid back the giant door and walked out in a line, loaded down with the last of their weapons and ready to raise hell. If they had ever looked or felt more like a gang, they couldn't remember when.

"Ray call in your Limo if you can," Michael instructed as they walked through the deserted parking lots and alleyways, seeking the street and the sidewalk.

"I can," Ray replied already dialing.

"We also need a tank," Ryan called to Michael who also pulled out his phone.

"And I'll call in a chopper," Jack said.

"Ryan we need to find a Maverick of some sort," Gavin mused, scrolling through his phone and trying to figure out who he could call.

"So we'll grab a ride to the airport," Ryan said, sauntering over to a nearby parked car. He raised his elbow and slammed it into the window, smashing it to bits and setting off the alarm. It was less than a minute for him to silence the alarm and disable the tracker that Simeon stashed in all of his "sold" vehicles. Gavin laughed at Ryan's quick and violent work and hopped in beside him.

"Hey are you guys driving to the airport?" Jack asked. "Let me get a ride with you."

"Here you take this one, I'll get my own," Ryan said, breaking into another car. He looked specifically for a Simeon tracker before breaking in and hotwiring it. This was part of his and Burnie's plan and had been a technique Ryan used frequently: plant as many Simeon vehicles as necessary.

"Get your little asshole in here Jack," Gavin said, revving the engine of the first stolen car.

Jack did so, narrowly missing Ray as he ran past swearing. He was running down the street, heading towards the limo that his mechanic had delivered really fucking far away for some reason.

"All right, let's go to the airport!" Jack said as he and Gavin took off. Grinning, he started to sing (to the tune of Let's All Go to the Lobby), "Let's all go to the airport…let's all go to the airport!" the others joined in for the last one. "Let's all go to the airport!"

Ryan went in for the finish. "And save Geoff's asshole from-!"

"SHIT!"

The Crew laughed over the end of Ryan's sentence as they heard Gavin immediately crash into a tree.

"Somewhere I like to think he heard that," Jack said. "Like maybe if he's in the yard right now and he perks his ears up to the sky."

"What do you think Geoff's doing right now?" Ryan asked.

"Sex butt," Michael replied instantly as Gavin added "He's probably got a tight grip on the soap."

Back in the prison, Geoff sneezed violently and rubbed his suddenly burning ears.

Gavin still did not have the best handle on American driving so as he flew around the corner of the sidewalk, he was literally on the sidewalk. Pedestrians jumped out of the way and shouted profanities at them. Jack raised his middle finger and waved it out the window. "Fuck you!" he cried. They passed some more staring pedestrians and he laughed and shouted "Fuuuuck yooou! Hey everybody…fuck you! Woah…fuck you!" As they blasted down the street he laughed hysterically and shouted fuck you to every car and person they passed. This went on for a good five minutes before Gavin rolled the window up to stop him.

"Jack is so easily entertained by himself," Gavin grumbled, shaking his head. "He is entertained by no one else but himself."

"Oh wait, my chopper is right here," Jack said suddenly, pointing out at the airport on the other side of the highway wall. "I'll jump out." Gavin slammed to a stop (literally slammed, into the wall in fact) and Jack hopped out and leaped over the wall to run for the cargobob.

"See if there's a Maverick, Gavin," Ryan instructed.

"There is," said Gavin squinting up through the windshield at the Maverick that was coincidentally hovering just above him, "but it just took off."

"So shoot it down!" Ryan replied impatiently.

"Um…"Gavin winced as he imagined the Maverick and his entire being going up in flames. Still he got out and leveled his sniper rifle, gazing through the scope as Ryan also approached the airport.

Jack had reached the cargobob and a red gleam caught his eye. "Hey Gavin, is this what you need, this red thing?" he asked.

Gavin breathed a sigh of relief as he looked toward Jack and saw the red Maverick. He didn't have to shoot the other one down now.

Ryan pulled into the airport alongside the Maverick as Gavin jogged up. "Do you want to fly or should I?"

"No, I'll do camera," Gavin said remembering how well his last flight went. He and Ryan climbed in, Gavin's rifle discharging by accident and cracking the glass windshield.

"Jesus, dude!" Ryan yelled as he ducked, but the shot went nowhere near him. He fired up the chopper and lifted off, noting movement to his left. "Hey look there's the pilot, take him out!"

Gavin popped his head up over the mounted camera. "Take him out, what with?" Gavin looked through the camera as the pilot, realizing the men taking his chopper were armed, took off running. "He's gone!"

Ryan set the chopper back down and hopped out, raising his gun in one fluid motion and firing. The pilot went down in a spray of blood. "No he's not! Take off!" he instructed Gavin, who fumbled his way into the front seat and lifted off as Ryan climbed back in.

"Why am I driving?" Gavin yelped.

"Because I got out for murder!" Ryan snapped back.

While all of this was going on, Michael and Ray had picked up the limo and were driving to the tank drop-off point. Rather, Michael was driving and Ray was in the front passenger seat doing his fuck train arms and softly saying "Woo woo" like a train into his headset. He looked around as Michael pulled into the horse track. "Is this where the tank is, on the fucking track?"

"Yeah," Michael said. "Look there it is."

Sure enough, parked on the track was a giant army tank. Ray shook his head and got out. How inconspicuous.

"Ray has secured his tank," Michael informed the others.

Jack changed direction and flew towards the track. "Hey Ray, do you need me to help you get in position with your tank?"

"That would help," Ray said.

Jack flew towards the track to secure Ray while Michael drove off in the limo in search of a clothing store that could provide him with a nice, albeit cheap, chauffeur getup. Gavin and Ryan realized that they should probably change positions before Gavin crashed into the only Maverick they had been able to find. Gavin assumed the natural place to perform this switch was on top of a bridge.

"Oh God, Oh God, Oh God," Ryan said watching the ground below sway back and forth as Gavin clumsily tried to land on the smallest space ever. "Gavin, seriously?!

Gavin finally landed it and Ryan climbed up front. Gavin hopped out before realizing that the camera prevented him from getting in on the side. He couldn't walk to the other side either without a big drop and much death. Growling under his breath, Ryan carefully lifted the helicopter, turned it around and landed again in half the time it took Gavin to land the first time.

"You guys really need to get your shit together," Michael told the pair.

"This is a big prison, dude!" Gavin said looking through the camera at the prison sprawled below the hill. "How do we find Geoff?"

"That's what you guys are for!" Jack said, "You're surveillance!

"Oh yeah," Gavin said.

They had found a hill just by the prison, close enough to give them a good view and Ray a good shot but far enough away to where no one in the prison would notice the tank on the horizon, the cargobob hovering around it, and the circling, bright red chopper.

Hopefully.

Michael was still trying to find a clothing store but his GPS was not cooperating in the limo. He knew Los Santos well, but not the part out in the sticks at the base of the mountains. He cursed as he drove around, trying to find something, anything at this point.

"It is so hard to find shit in this town!" Michael growled.

"Where are you?" Ryan asked, landing the chopper and pulling out his phone. Jack, with the help of Ryan and Gus Sorola, had programmed it so the Bluetooth connections for their headsets could be pulled up on a map so they could keep track of each other. They were relieved that Jack had stashed some of the headsets in the abandoned warehouse before they went AWOL from Rooster Teeth. They hoped no one would think to track them that way.

"Oh there you are," Ryan said, looking Michael's ping. He cross checked it on the GPS and found a clothing store that was nearby. "Just get on the main road and drive straight down, there's a store on your right."

"Ok I'll drive, you be my GPS," Michael said, pulling back onto the road.

"Go left," Ryan instructed, eyes fixed on Michael's now slowly moving dot. "Good, keep left."

"Ryan," Michael scolded. "GPS doesn't talk like that."

Ryan sighed. "Please continue on this road for one and a half miles," he said in a smooth, half robot, half phone sex operator voice. "Your destination will be on your right next to a man flexing his arm and a convenience store."

"Thank you!" Michael said, following the directions his RyanPS gave him.

"Wow that's really up to date GPS software," Gavin said with a laugh.

"You are approaching your destination," RyanPS said to Michael.

"Oh you know what, I see it!" Michael said cheerfully as the clothing store came into view.

"BONG!" Ryan said, mimicking a GPS alert. "Turn right now." Michael did and parked. "You have arrived at your destination."

Michael got out of the limo and started to walk into the store, but drew up and turned around to lock the limo. With his luck it would be stolen. "Hang on I gotta lock my limo, if it's 2002 someone might steal my Ryan."

"Boop BOOP!" Ryan said mimicking a car lock (poorly). "I will wait here for you master. Don't forget me!" he added in a singsong voice.

"Jesus Christ," Jack said, half laughing, half shuddering at Ryan's creepiness.

"I think the GPS is becoming self-aware," Gavin said giggling.

Michael emerged a few minutes later in a suit and tie, which Gavin caught on camera as they were circling him. Jack had parked the cargobob nearby but had to hastily lift off as a car came speeding for him. Unfortunately, his take off was jerky and veered too far to one side. Before he could correct, gravity took hold and Jack was dumped from his cargobob with a shout. He slammed into the dirt below with a painful thud.

"Jack NO!" Ryan yelled as the chopper swung across the road.

The cargobob hit the gas station across the street and exploded, sending cars and metal flying into the street. Ryan just barely dodge a flying helicopter blade as he stared at the fiery ruin.

Silence fell.

"Well Jack's dead," Gavin said hollowly. "I caught that on camera."

"What the fuck happened?" Jack's voice said. Gavin zoomed the camera lens down on the ground as Ryan climbed up away from the flames. Jack was getting to his feet dusting himself off. The cargobob had only been a foot off the ground when it dumped him out so he had landed hard, but relatively unscathed. The others sighed in relief.

Jack kicked a rock in frustration before moving away from the fire so that Ryan could pick him up and take him back to the airport for a new cargobob. As they flew over Michael and his limo, Gavin chucked a parachute out of it and narrowly avoided hitting Michael in the face. Michael grabbed it and drove back toward the prison while Ryan, Jack, and Gavin fetched another dropped Jack off at the airport and returned to the prison.

While they were waiting for Jack, Gavin and Ryan and Ray took a few minutes to recreate an iconic scene from the movie Who Am I? starring Jackie Chan.

"I miss Geoff's sweet voice," Gavin said sadly while they continued to wait for Jack.

"Ooh do you wanna call him?" Ryan asked. "We can call the butt phone, send up the butt signal!" Ryan whipped out his phone and searched for the number, putting it on speaker so everyone could hear.

"Do you think when it rings, his rectum vibrates?" Ray asked with a laugh.

The phone call connected. "Geoff, Geoff are you there?" Ryan asked.

"Hello?!" Geoff's voice sounded fearful and frantic.

"It worked!" Michael yelled.

Down in the prison, Geoff gripped the phone as all three million pounds of Big Ding advanced on him. The man was massive and his eye were soulless. He had a toothy grin plastered on his inhuman and Geoff's ass clenched in terror. "Hang on," Geoff said to his friends then he yelled at his advancing cellmate. "No, I already told you Big Dong, there's only room for my phone there." Big Dong grabbed Geoff's ass but Geoff darted away. "I need to keep my phone there!" Geoff shouted hysterically. "There's no more room!"

The phone that he just realized was in his hand. No wonder Big Dong was suddenly advancing.

"Guys!" he wailed. "I need to get out of here!"

The Crew was torn between laughter and horror. On the one hand, this was hilarious to listen to. On the other hand, Geoff really was in trouble. They had to act fast, they were likely already compromising the mission by calling Geoff. Who knew if a guard would hear his pleas about his phone?

"The phone is in his hand right now so Big Dong can have his way!" Michael pointed out.

Just then the buzz of a cargobob sounded in Ryan's ear and he turned to see Jack flying into position near Michael, who was already on top of his limo ready to hook it into position.

"I think we're ready to go!" Ryan said.

"Geoff we're about to bust you out!" Michael yelled even though Geoff couldn't hear him.

"Geoff, it's time to spring from your cell," Ryan told him, his palms starting to sweat. What if Geoff couldn't get out? What if they failed? Geoff would be shot for fleeing and they would be shot by the police for helping him or shot by Burnie for failing him. This had to work.

Jack hooked Michael and Michael clambered his way into the front seat. Neither of them said a word. They just focused. They were more focused than they had ever been in their life. This hinged on them and their ability to get inside the prison and get out. They had to do it right,they could make no mistakes.

Ray slithered down inside the tank and swung the gun around to face the prison. One more job. One more job, save Geoff, and they could live to fight another day. He may be able to get out if they brought Geoff home. He just had to rain hell. He could do that, He channeled all of his anger at Matt and at the way things were run now with the Syndicate and focused on his target. No prisoners, no mercy, no mistakes.

"Geoff, which building are you in?" Gavin yelled. He was nervous. The prison was big and if he and Ryan couldn't spot Geoff, Jack and Michael couldn't get him out. They had to get him out!

"Hang on," Geoff said dodging his roommate and fumbling for the key he had hidden in his orange jumpsuit. He approached the cell and saw no guards looking this way. A broken bottle was scratching at his chest where he had hidden it. "I'm backing away slowly," he said, to both Big Dong and Gavin.

"Pack up your things, pull up your pants, let's go!" Gavin shouted.

"Oh, is it time?" he said.

"YES!" roared the Fake AH Crew.

"Finally!" Geoff yelled and let the phone drop. He also dropped the fear and dropped the pathetic pleas and reached into his shirt, pulling out the bottle. He ducked under Big Dong's outstretched arm and slashed at his throat with quick precision. Blood sprayed and Big Dong dropped like a sack of potatoes. Geoff unlocked his cell just as quickly and ran down the hall. He took the approaching guard by surprise and once again lashed out with his bottle, slitting the guard's throat too and relieving him of his pistol as he fell. Geoff rounded the corner and shot twice, felling two more guards as the alarm sounded and the prison went on lock down. He dashed down the hallways, looking for the exit he had carefully planned for. He sprinted up a flight of stairs into the kitchen, the shouts of guards ringing in his ears, and went for the nearest stove. He turned on the gas, grateful that Los Santos penitentiary was too cheap for electric ovens, and moved past the ovens to the barred windows. He faced the door, waiting with an insane grin on his face. His plan was crazy, but crazy was his Crew's forte. Only they could pull off something like this.

The prison guards charged in the room, coughing at the overwhelming smell of gas and they trained their weapons on Geoff. Geoff maintained his smile and kept the gun low, out of sight.

"Hands in the air!" One guard shouted. "Hands in the air or we will shoot!"

Geoff's grin broadened. "Me first."

Geoff fired at the stove before the guards knew what was happening. The bullet pinged against the metal stove and sparked. That was all it took. Geoff ducked as the stove exploded, shattering the glass and blowing out a section of the wall near him. Fire raced over head from the cloud of gas that had ignited and Geoff smelled burning flesh and singed hair He could feel shrapnel raining down on him, but he didn't hesitate, He flung himself out on the metal roof through the jagged hole in the wall, dropping the empty gun.

Even if things ended right here, he had made sure that this prison and this town would never forget him and his escape or forget the Fake AH Crew.

"Come and get me!" he shouted to the sky, praying his friends could hear him.