Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story are not intended to be viewed as those of the author. The following is a fan-written fiction. Gravity Falls, Star vs. The Forces of Evil, Kim Possible, and Big Bad Beetleborgs are property of their respective owners, creators, and publishers. Please support the official releases.

TW: This story will contain references to physical and psychological abuse, murder, and torture. Furthermore, several chapters of Volume 8 (and for the next several volumes) are set during a time period of extreme racial prejudice and traditionally sexist views towards both men and women. Reader discretion is advised.

419

The bell ringing outside of its normal time caught the attention of the students of Echo Creek Academy. As all attention was drawn to the PA system speakers in classrooms and hallways throughout the campus, a shaken-sounding Principal Skeeves spoke.

"Attention students; effective immediately all classes and activities for the remainder of the day have been canceled."

In Miss Espinoza's Calculus class, Misao, Heather, and Brittney all looked up in surprise hearing the announcement.

"School buses are on their way, and parents have been notified of the cancellation of classes. All students are instructed to leave the campus and go straight to your homes and not remain on campus following the final bell for any reason, under any circumstances."

In her classroom, Jo leaned back in her chair. "That's weird…"

"Furthermore, all classes will be canceled for the remainder of the week and will resume next Monday. So, pack up your books and start leaving the school, you are all dismissed."

In Miss Skullnick's class, Marco and Roland stared at the PA speaker and looked at one another. The other students present in class looked amongst themselves, murmuring in bemusement at the unexpected and sudden end of classes.

Star Butterfly and Mabel Pines, naturally, took it for what it was.

"SURPRISE VACATION~!" Star sang as she leaped from her desk. She then began to dance, walking in place while thrusting her horizontally held wand out in front of her. "School's out! School's out! Let's shout! It out! School's out! School's out! Let's shout! It out!"

"Ooh! Ooh!" Mabel called out as she stood up and celebrated with her, hands on her knees and twerking her hips while windmilling her hair around.

"Yes, Star, Mabel, your disdain for secondary education is well-known," Miss Skullnick said. "But just because classes are canceled doesn't mean homework is."

Both girls stopped celebrating like they'd just won the lottery, with Star turning to the troll woman in despair. "Miss Skullnick, come on! Be an ally!"

"I am," the teacher replied, "By not giving you kids a chance to slack off. You're to read chapters five and six and answer the review questions at the end of both."

Star collapsed dramatically to her knees. "Noooooooooo!"

Mabel rested a hand on her shoulder, with equal gravitas. "Our freedom was stolen from us…"

Miss Skullnick shook her head. Luckily, she was paid enough to put up with Star, both financially and in the intoxicating power of being a superhuman monster.

Getting up from his desk, Marco called over to both. "It's just two chapters, we can knock that out in a day, and you'll have the rest of the week to yourselves."

"But Marco," Star whined, "Math is hard…!"

Jackie chimed in. "After yesterday, I'll take AP Calculus class with…" She stopped and blinked. "… Miss Espinoza?"

That didn't sound right to say for some reason.

Marco agreed. "Yeah, AP Calc is no joke."

Forgetting how strange that sounded, Jackie smiled at Marco. "Right? I quit after a few classes because of just how intense it was."

She had an idea. "Hey, why don't we hold a study group at the spot?" She was referring to Hillhurst, of course. "Since we have the rest of the day, we can go knock out the homework and then decide what we'll do with the rest of the week."

Mabel gasped. "Good idea! Later on, we can go to the Bounce Lounge–"

Star waved her hand. "Oh, no, we're still banned."

Mabel pouted, then grew even brighter. "We could go to St. O's!"

Star snapped her fingers, making guns of them to point at Mabel. "Now you're talking!"

Roland turned to Marco as Jackie joined Mabel and Star on plotting the rest of their week. "Priorities, right?"

Marco shrugged his shoulders before he looked up towards the PA. "I wonder what's going on."

"Man, I don't know," Roland said, "But Skeeves sounded freaked out."

He didn't even sound worried during or after the fight yesterday, when a whole student got kidnapped off campus by a supervillain that literally blasted her way in.

Marco moved to get out of his seat. "I'm gonna go see what's up."

Roland got up first. "Nah, it's good. I'll go ask around and link up with Jo on the way. See you at the spot."

In the depths of the Beetle Battle Base beneath Hillhurst Mansion, Andrew McCormick and Dipper Pines stood in front of a box-shaped device the size of a kitchen island, topped with a white glowing glass surface. On the very center of the surface, a Big Bad Beetleborgs comic was placed face up–Issue 99.

"All right," Dipper said as he hit a few buttons on the device's digital console. "Scanning Issue 99."

With a hum the machine began to work. A beam of light the width of the glass surface shot up and crossed the surface from left to right, penetrating the comic and scanning all of the information held within from cover to cover. Reaching the other end of the table, it swept back twice as fast, before repeating the cycle at its initial speed.

As Dipper watched the scanner work, Drew looked to his right over at the main monitors where Misao would normally be seated. On the screen, an image of the monster of the issue appeared–a green robot with red arm-cannons and a pair of missile launchers on its shoulders, the right having two tubes while the left had six. Following that, various pages featuring the Magnavore in action appeared on it before they turned into blocks of text detailing its feats and abilities.

"No melee ability… can roll along the ground at high speed… arm cannons fire energy blasts… right missile launchers are for heavier targets while left missile launchers are for agile targets…" Drew stopped mumbling and nodded. "Yeah, that's all comic accurate for Death Launcher. Wow… it's amazing how this thing can't connect to the net properly but can just read and sort data like this."

"Magic computers, man," Dipper said.

Drew turned to him and smiled. "Think of how many Vs. debates you could win with this thing. I could probably get Jo to shut up over who would win between Batman and Doctor Doom."

Looking up from the console, Dipper had to know. "… Batman would win, right?"

Drew's face fell. "… Dude…"

With an offended look, Dipper grew insistent. "But Batman would win."

Before he could commit to the debate, something he knew he'd regret, Drew's phone buzzing in his pocket came to his rescue.

"Hold that thought." Forever, he hoped, as he pulled out the device and looked at the screen. "Roland's just messaged me."

Roland said:
Hey, m'boy, school just let out and they don't want us coming back until Monday. Something's up. I'll hit you up when I know more.

Drew turned to Dipper. "They just canceled classes for the rest of the week."

That gave Dipper pause. "Why?"

Not even the fallout of Shego and some monsters attacking the school earned a day off.

Drew shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, but Roland said he'd look into it."

There was nothing to do but wait, then. Dipper was fine with that. "All right , so we're at 99 now, how many comics do we have left to scan? And how many are we missing?"

Drew turned and started sifting through the piles of comics. "Of every comic I have, the only ones I don't are Issues 60, 100, and issues 108 through 120."

Dipper couldn't help but snicker. "That's not bad, all thinks considered. Why do you have such a big gap in your collection?"

"Issues 108 through 120 were movie tie-in issues for the tenth anniversary, and they're a lot rarer than most because the movie never materialized in 2000. I don't have Issue 100 because that's the hundredth issue milestone, and I don't have Issue 60 because that's the five-year anniversary and the anniversary copies don't get reissued."

He noticed Dipper was grinning at him and rolled his eyes. "Go ahead."

"… What about Issue 69?" Dipper asked.

He knew it. "Ugh! Look, there is no Issue 69. Art Fortunes says he didn't want people collecting it just because it was Issue 69, so he skipped 68 to 70 and even said back then that he was using that time to take a break from drawing."

That was kind of lame, Dipper thought. He'd actually kind of hoped there'd be some kind of mature edition for number 69, but oh well. "Is there a way we could get those anniversary comics, and the movie tie-ins?"

"Sure, Nano has them, she lets us borrow the rares to read like all the time." He looked off to the side pouting as he grumbled. "But won't give a discount for actually buying them. Hmph."

That gave Dipper an idea. "You know, we do have two exceedingly generous and unfathomably wealthy friends now, right?"

Drew stopped pouting, as he realized that. "… Huh, we do."

"When we all meet up, we'll talk to Misao about buying up those rares."

Breaking into a smile, Drew could not wait. "Hopefully she'll say yes."

He looked down at the pile of yet to be scanned books, and saw Issue 137, featuring Saberizer on the cover. His smile dimming, he looked up at Dipper. "Hey, should we include comics with monsters we've already beaten?"

"We may as well, just in case they come back or something, somehow," Dipper replied.

His battle with Saberizer crept up in his memory, as Drew conceded. "If you say so," he replied as he set aside the comic to maintain the order. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Is it why do I think Batman would beat Dr. Doom? Because I have a PowerPoint."

Drew was confident he didn't. "No, it's about the real Magnavores."

Dipper was glad Drew didn't call his bluff, because he didn't have a PowerPoint ready outside of his head… yet. He had a whole week to work on one, at least. "What's on your mind?"

"You've noticed how different Jara, Typhus, and Noxic are from the comics, right? How they don't act like, well… comic book villains."

An interesting question, Dipper wondered where Drew was going with this thought. "They're definitely not out to backstab each other, that's for sure. They also seem to be… I guess for lack of a better term sociable?"

"Except for Jara," Drew quickly said.

"Yeah, except for Jara," Dipper agreed. He wasn't about let Drew know that he found Jara aesthetically pleasing though, body shape and physique-wise. "Typhus especially seems like he's just out there to have fun."

"And both times he's fought at the school, he was courteous enough to back off and leave when Miss Skullnick told him to."

Dipper wondered if that was more because Miss Skullnick was actually that powerful. He'd have to ask Star or Marco about that. "You think there's something there?"

"I don't know," Drew admitted. "Maybe I'm seeing things… but what if there's, I don't know… humanity there?"

It stuck out so sorely with him, Jara's reaction to Saberizer's defeat. "And I'm not just talking about them being almost friendly. When I beat Saberizer… Jara came at us like she did after because she was distraught. Then yesterday, she definitely gunned for me because of it."

"So, you think they might have some kind of decency deep down, because they care about each other, and their minions?" When Drew nodded affirmative, Dipper mulled on that. "That would certainly put the Magnavores higher up than Bill. At the same time though… I doubt we could do much with that. If they do actually have feelings like that, then they all must definitely hate us for beating them up and killing their guys."

Drew visibly flinched but didn't outright cringe. "Maybe there's something we can do about it… but I'm not sure how to approach it."

Letting out a hum, Dipper nodded. "You're hoping for a peaceful resolution, huh?"

"I'd like that, yeah."

Dipper wondered if Drew feared a negative response. "Yeah, I'd like one, too." Seeing the tension bleed from him confirmed it. "These guys are from the Nightmare Realm, though, the same place a needy, whiny, insane triangle who decided to make his issues everyone's problem came from."

On top of that, he added. "Also, while the three of them seem like they might be cool. We don't really know much about Vexor or what his biz is. For all we know he could catch wind of us trying to hug it out and pull some stunt to take advantage of it."

Very good points, Drew agreed. "So, we should be cautious, but optimistic?" At Dipper's nod, he smiled. "I was worried you'd be more against this."

"Are you kidding? Between my Grunkle Stan, Mabel, and Pacifica Northwest, I'm firmly a believer that people can change for the better–we can't count them all out."

"Even the Vanderhoffs?"

Dipper immediately backtracked. "Okay, there are some cases that are really just rotten to the core and beyond redemption."

Both boys had a chuckle at that, before Drew finally got a message from Roland.

Roland said:
Nah, whatever is going on has got Skeeves FREAKED. I just got yelled at to leave school or I'm eating a suspension.

Drew didn't like that. "Principal Skeeves told Roland to leave or he's getting suspended."

Dipper didn't like that. "… And now I have a bad feeling. One sec."

Leaving the scanner to run, Dipper went to the main console and began typing away on the keyboard. The window showing the Combat Mecha Death Launcher disappeared and multiple windows appeared in its place. The largest of the maps was a static map of Echo Creek Academy and its surrounding neighborhood, while the others were text transcripts of police radio chatter, with indicators connecting the windows to emergency service units at or approaching the school.

"That's… a bigger police response than both the fights at school," Dipper said in surprise.

Drew walked over staring at the screen. "… What's going on?"

Dipper read some of the codes popping up in the transcripts. "419, 10-2…" He stopped and frowned. "Wait, 419?"

Drew turned to him. "What's 419?"

"That's… 'dead body reported.'" Dipper's face hardened. "10-2 also means no lights or sirens."

The revelation was startling. "Where did the body come from?"

Dipper shook his head. "I don't know, but I have a very bad feeling about this."

A dead body could mean anything, but there had been three battles with the Magnavores at Echo Creek Academy within a week. All of them were violent enough that a dead body could not be ignored at the scene of them.

"There's a good chance the police will pay us visits… Mabel and I maybe, Star and Marco definitely."

"Should we tell them what's going on?"

"No, we can talk about that when everybody meets up here. Tell the group chat to come to Hillhurst however they can, and to not draw attention."

Drew couldn't help it. "Ask your sister, my sister, and Star not to draw attention–"

Dipper rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I realized just as I was saying it."

The buses had arrived, and both teachers and students who had cars were making their way out of the school's parking lot, creating a bit of a traffic snarl where the school's driveway met the street. At the front of Echo Creek Academy, Marco, Jackie, Mabel, and Star were heading down the sidewalk towards their bus, watching the chaotic scene.

"Even teachers are leaving," Mabel said. "They want everybody gone."

Star rested her hands on Marco's shoulders. "We're going to get the homework done today, right? There's so much I wanna do! I want to hang out with Pony Head, stay up late watching cartoons, spar with Jackie–"

"Work on that magical armor you talked about?" Marco asked.

"Oh yeah, that too!" Star quickly said.

Marco wanted to be there to supervise that. "Yeah, we can do the homework as soon as we get to Hillhurst."

He looked at Jackie. "You're a math whiz, too. You got my back?"

"Dude, of course!" Jackie looked back and noticed Misao hurrying towards them. "In fact, Star and Mabel, you've got three math geniuses to help get the homework done."

Misao reached the group and immediately caught Mabel in a hug. "What is happening? There wasn't even a monster!"

Star looked back at Misao as Mabel patted the new arrival's head. "Do not look a gift warnicorn in the mouth, you don't want to get your face bitten off."

"I just started my own classes," Misao lamented. "Can I have one normal school day?"

"You're asking for too much," Marco said.

Misao pouted. "I know, but still… I was having fun! I don't know why everyone is so afraid of Miss Espinoza."

"I'm thinking about going back if you're there," Jackie said to Star's chagrin.

"Jackie, no! Don't fall for Calculus' seductive wails!"

The simultaneous rings of everyone's phones called their attention to their devices. Marco, Star, Jackie, Mabel, and Misao all produced their phones to see a message from Drew.

Dr00 said:
Something weird's going on, everybody meet up at Hillhurst ASAP.

"And there's Dipper," Mabel said.

Marco was worried. "I wonder what he's figured out." He looked back toward the school. "Or what Roland found out for that matter."

Star pulled out the Dimensional Scissors. "Well, we should go straight there, right? Jo and Roland will catch up."

Before anyone could agree, a car horn honked repeatedly, drawing everyone's attention to a cranberry-colored minivan parked waiting in the school's drop-off lane. Inside the driver's seat, a woman was waving and calling to them.

"Miss Darlian! Reiko hired me to give you a ride!" She called out. "Don't use the scissors, hurry up and get in!"

Any concern that this stranger wasn't legit disappeared as Misao quickly hurried to the van. One by one, Marco, Star, Jackie, and then Mabel climbed into the van, Marco taking the front seat while the girls piled into the back. As soon as they climbed in and the door started sliding closed, the driver put the van in drive and pulled out of the pickup lane.

"Danke schön," Misao thanked the woman. "We didn't need the ride, but it we're grateful nonetheless."

Mabel leaned in to get a good look at the woman. "Yeah, it's nice of you to show up but um… how'd you know to be here?"

The woman, who had dark red hair and eyes a darker shade of the same color, and in general reminded all of them of an older Kim Possible, pointed to the Police Scanner radio on her dashboard. "The police are coming to the school, and I think the press will be close behind them."

Naturally, the mention of police had the teens alert. "Why are the police coming?"

"I could not tell you, but it sounds serious," the woman said. "As your Fixer assigned to you by Hyuuga Heavy Industries, it's my job to make sure if any law enforcement contacts you, it's through me." At a stop sign she looked back at the group. "My name's Elise Dinkleman, and I'm with HHI's American Legal Department."

Jackie brightened. "Oh, wow! Our own lawyer!"

"Not just any lawyer, a Fixer!" Mabel said. "Our own under the table problem solver who gives us peace of mind when dealing with stuff we can't! My Grunkle Stan always dreamed of having one at the Mystery Shack, but Soos was too sweet, and Wendy was too indiscriminate with her violence."

Elise nodded as she left the stop sign. "That's about right, a Fixer can't be too nice, but they can't be a hammer treating every problem like a nail."

"Ugh," Star groaned, recalling Hammer Kong.

Jackie asked. "So, besides being our legal team, what else can you do for us?"

"As long as it's not something trivial like grabbing you Britta's–I'm not your servant–or killing a guy–I'm not a hitman–the things I can do for you are pretty broad. You need someone investigated, you need info on something behind a layer of clearance or two, or you just need some fine print on a contract read? I'm your woman."

She patted the steering wheel. "I'm a pretty good wheelman, too, and I drive non-descript vehicles that don't stand out too much in a line of traffic."

Star leaned in. "Man, we could've used you while dealing with the Vanderhoffs."

Elise pointed back at Star. "Exactly. I handle people like that by showing up at their door and telling them that they'll be in a world of legal pain if they don't stop their crap. HHI does not care how much money you got."

As they pulled up to the intersection leading to Echo Creek's main street, Marco pointed to the left. "Turn here, we're going to Hillhurst Mansion."

"I was told that creepy spot was your hideout," Elise said as she made the turn. "When I was a teenager, I was dared to go inside and have a look around, but I chickened out."

"Oh, you're local?" Marco asked.

"Not from Echo Creek, I'm from Van Nuys, like thirty minutes away, right next to North Hollywood."

Jackie made a face. "Eugh, North Hollywood…"

"What's wrong with North Hollywood?" Elise asked.

"You know exactly what's wrong with North Hollywood," Jackie replied.

Star looked back and forth between the two. "Is it as bad as Glendale?"

"No!" Both said together, before Elise clarified. "Let's be honest, all of North LA is screwed, now with Echo Creek being full of weirdness, too."

Mabel and Misao, who were not from LA, had new questions. Marco, who was from LA, also had questions.

The first one came up right away. "So how much of what we're involved in have you been told? Because Dipper is going to ask when he meets you."

"I have been briefed on everything by Reiko, including your association with the Big Bad Beetleborgs. Try not to surprise me too much, okay?" She asked.

Misao spoke up. "You're sworn to Attorney Client Privilege, then, when you learn their identities."

"Naturally, Miss Darlian," Elise replied.

The group chat buzzed again, and Marco looked at his phone.

Jo said:
Hey, not to alarm anyone, but the police are swarming all over Brittney's little sports complex and a van marked Coroner just pulled in to go to the back. This might be bad.

As Marco read the message, Drew responded.

Dr00 said:
Meet with Roland and get to Hillhurst. We'll talk about it there.

"Oh…" Marco did not like that as he began to text back. "We might be in trouble."

Marco said:
Star, Jackie, Mabel, Misao, and I are on our way. HHI sent a lawyer to pick us up and they're bringing us to the Mansion.

Dr00 said:
Wait, we have a lawyer, now?

Janna Banana said:
Sweet, a Fixer.

Dr00 said:
A what ?_?

Marco lowered his phone and looked back at the others as they reviewed the group chat.

"The Coroner?" Jackie asked. "Did somebody die?"

"We were all in class, there are witnesses," Mabel said.

Misao frowned. "What if it was from yesterday? Maybe Señor Senior Junior's robots attacked someone?"

"Somebody would've noticed that." Jackie said, concern creeping into her voice. "Right?"

Star held her hand up. "I fixed the school up just this morning before class, remember? If anybody had gotten hurt yesterday, Marco and I would've found it then."

Marco was as shaken as Jackie. "Yeah, but that doesn't change that the school has been involved in three violent attacks and now there might be a dead body. We're going to be the first people they ask about it. Well, us and not the Beetleborgs."

Mabel sank into her seat. "Ugh, this sucks."

She looked at Elise. "Well, at least we got a lawyer."

"One that's going to keep you out of trouble with this one," Elise promised.

Her passengers shared looks tinted with varying levels of concern. All agreed that this was a serious situation, now, and worried about how this was going to turn out.

Crime is afoot. I'm sure it won't become an immense problem, later.